The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring
by Anath Tsurugi
Summary: With that, the image widened and Zeb could see that Kallus was holding something in his arms, and as the Lasat inspected the image, he gradually began to realize that it was a baby – a Lasat kit. "Zeb...help me." "Oh, karabast."
1. When They Cry

(A/N) Well, as I usually seem to say at the start of a fic...so...this happened. I sorta got blindsided by Rebels. Knocked it out in about a week and, as tends to happen in my life, the plot hounds came baying for blood. I surely hope you enjoy the results of their hunt.

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 1: When They Cry..._

It was supposed to be a straightforward, palms up assignment, chasing rumors and leads in the Allurian System. But really, nothing in Agent Alexsandr Kallus' life had been straightforward since his stint on a frozen moon above Geonosis – or perhaps it was the first time _anything_ in his life had been straightforward. It was difficult to say during these runs to create false leads for the Empire while still keeping on the lookout for useable intel as the latest Fulcrum agent.

This latest assignment shouldn't have been all that difficult, though – just a mission to scout out reports of rebel activity on Alluria. There wasn't _supposed_ to be any activity. According to the former Imperial's sources, Alluria's rebel cell had long since abandoned their home base to join up with Dodonna's fleet. Unfortunately, the smoke rising in the distance from what looked to be a recent battle seemed to say that his sources might've been off on a few details. Growling under his breath in worry, Kallus gunned his speeder that much faster, urging it toward the rising smoke.

What he came upon was the burnt out husk of an outpost of some sort. Stormtroopers were swarming all over the site of the battle, tallying their own dead and the numbers of their victims. When he brought his speeder to a stop near their perimeter, he quickly leapt from the transport and sought out the highest-ranked trooper he could find.

"Captain, report!" he snapped as he approached the stormtrooper, trying to keep his focus on gathering information and not on these people he might have saved.

"Oh! Agent Kallus, Sir!" the trooper immediately snapped to attention upon catching sight of him. "We weren't expecting you for another two cycles."

"No matter. I am here now. What happened here? What do you have to report?" he repeated, pointedly looking at the featureless white faceplate and _not_ at the ruin beyond it, smoldering orange and red in the waning light of day.

"An insurgents' enclave of some kind, Sir. We gave them a chance to surrender peacefully, but...they preferred to go down fighting. You know these rebel types."

"Indeed, I do," he said, keeping his expression carefully unreadable as he forced himself to look at what remained of the conflagration. He caught sight of an overturned fruit cart and a Phindian banner still burning as the tattered ribbons of fabric caught on the evening breeze, sending a new wave of embers whipping through the air. The sight wasn't anything he was unfamiliar with. He knew war. Of _course_ he did – but then he caught sight of something that truly made his stomach turn.

A tiny plastile toy in the shape of a bantha, half-burned, but still recognizable.

 _What have they done?_ he asked in silence, feeling something in him grow cold as he watched the toy burn.

"Captain?" he began in a tone of barely-contained anger, feeling a fresh wave of guilt grip at his heart. "Am I to understand that you and your men attacked a settlement with _families_ inside? _Children?_ "

"Sir, I only-"

Whatever excuse the trooper was about to spout was suddenly interrupted by a hideous shriek. Kallus' gaze snapped back to the smoldering buildings to see a stormtrooper being ground underfoot – by none other than a wild-eyed Lasat warrior.

"Look out! We got a live one!"

" _MURDERERS!_ " the incensed Lasat shrieked as it came at them. It didn't take long for the warrior to zero in on Kallus, seeing the bo-rifle slung across his back.

In a moment that seemed to the former security agent to last a small eternity, he watched the Lasat lunge toward him. Zeb would scold him for it if he ever found out, but Alex might really have let the alien take his head off in that moment without _any_ kind of fight. It was only the split-second instinct of years and years of combat training that forced his hand, his body drawing the bo-rifle almost without his permission.

It was only when the Lasat's weapon came into contact with his that Kallus realized it wasn't a bo-rifle. Just a force pike. No less deadly in the right hands, of course, but maybe these were not the right hands. This Lasat was no warrior – only a desperate being.

"Please. Don't do this," Kallus ground out as they grappled. He made no move to attack, only to keep their weapons locked together in a stalemate. "I don't want to fight you!"

"' _Don't want to fight!_ '" the Lasat snarled mockingly through their crossed weapons, "says the creature standing there like a coward with a _stolen weapon!_ "

"It's _not like that!_ " he tried to argue, putting all of his strength into a push to shove the Lasat back.

When his opponent stumbled, Kallus realized that the only reason he hadn't bowled him over completely was that his left foot was badly burned. He was a little too rattled to even _pretend_ to face the Lasat as an enemy. He and Zeb would at least be able to put on a show for the expectant Imperial eyes, but this one...this Lasat had every intention of killing him.

And for the life of him, Kallus couldn't think of a reason to stop him from doing so.

"So what exactly is it like?" the Lasat demanded before spitting out a mouthful of blood. "Going about with innocent blood on your hands? Behaving as if you somehow had more of a right to live than the mothers and children you killed?! You Imperial dogs are filthy murderers! _Every last one of you!_ " his opponent snarled in rage before coming at him.

Kallus didn't know what did it, but he suddenly found himself hearing the accusations in _Zeb's_ voice. It was like hearing Garazeb Orrelios reminding him of all the horrific things he'd done in his life. Zeb...who'd spared him, shown him compassion, _forgiven_ him, forgiven what could _never_ be forgiven. Zeb...who was his ally, his friend...who was more to him than anyone else in his life ever had been. And he now stood to pass judgement on all of Kallus' sins for _daring_ to ask for forgiveness.

 _You hurt my world. You hurt my people! You hurt_ _ **me!**_

 _No! Zeb...I could never...I didn't..._

But he _had._ It was already done and there was nothing he could do to change it. So as the avenging Lasat came at him, raising his force pike for one final strike, Alexsandr Kallus found he could do nothing but let his bo-rifle fall to the ground, leaving himself completely open to whatever attack came.

Only the attack never did come. The sound of blaster fire ripped through the agent's ears as it tore into his opponent's body. Kallus could do nothing but look on in shock as the light left the Lasat's eyes. He was dead before he'd even hit the ground.

Kallus, meanwhile, couldn't stop himself from falling to his knees, though he still fought to keep himself from hyperventilating. The entire incident had been a little too close to what he imagined it would be like to watch Zeb be shot and killed. That...he couldn't take that. And he _had_ to pull himself together right this kriffing second...or they would see...they would _see_...

"Are you all right, Sir?" one of the troopers demanded as the squad ran up to him. Kallus struggled to keep his gaze fixed on the dead Lasat, hoping his expression might pass for anger instead of the horror it really was.

"Fine," he whispered as he slowly reached for his bo-rifle. "Not a scratch."

"Sir, we should probably get you back to HQ. That was-"

"I'm _fine!_ " he snapped as he re-situated the weapon at his back. Then he got to his feet. "Tell me...were there any other Lasat in this encampment?"

"I really don't think this is the best time to-"

"I asked you a simple question, trooper," he growled low in his throat, every moment he maintained his composure a victory for him. "Were there. Any more Lasat. In this encampment?" he repeated slowly, glaring at the man.

"Just a few," the trooper finally answered, pointing back at the half-collapsed building the first Lasat had emerged from. "But we thought we'd killed them."

"And of course we all saw how well _that_ turned out, didn't we," he said, pointedly not looking at any of them as he moved in the direction indicated.

"Sir, why waste your time? That building could go at any minute," the squad leader protested.

"Clearly, Captain, you do not know much about fighting the Lasat. I do, I'm afraid. If I need backup, I will call for it," he said as he descended into the dwelling. He had to know for certain. He _had_ to.

The first thing he took note of upon entering the main living area were the two Lasat males sprawled painfully upon the floor, unmistakably dead. Shaking his head in aching pity and apology, he turned from the sight, meaning to leave. No doubt he didn't need to see any more...

...except that was the moment his ears picked out a pitiful, keening _mewl_ from among the crackling of the dying flames.

No. It couldn't be.

Could it?

Following the sound, Kallus continued on for two more rooms, until he came to what looked to be some sort of storeroom, and the sight he beheld inside was arguably much more horrific than the dead Lasat from the front room.

A Lasat female was pinned beneath a fallen durasteel beam, a pool of her own blood quickly spreading around her. She struggled to try and move from beneath the beam, but there was clearly no saving her. Despite her impending death, she was reaching with all of her might toward a small basket that was just a few feet out of her grasp.

The basket was the source of the mewling sound.

 _Oh, no..._

Kallus approached slowly so as not to frighten the dying Lasat, but she still snarled upon catching sight of him, snapping and baring her teeth, swiping her one free hand in his direction to warn him away.

"Stay back...Imperial _dog_ ," she growled as best she could, her long purple hair matted with blood. "I may be dying...but my death will be my own. Stay away!"

"No," he started gently as he moved to his knees, inching toward her across the soot-covered floor. "I _swear_ I'm not going to hurt you."

The Lasat gave a bitter, broken sound at this, a sound that under normal circumstances might have been a laugh. Banging her head against the crude floor, she reached out her hand once more, fingers curling around empty air. "I am, I think, far past even _your_ ability to hurt me, dog," she coughed out, clearly in pain.

"It's all right," he said when he finally reached her, presenting her with the bo-rifle and showing her what he hadn't had the chance to show her companion – a small symbol carved into the barrel of the weapon. It was something Zeb had done for him to prevent further negative reactions to it. The sigil signified that, by right of Boosahn Keeraw, he carried the bo-rifle honorably. He had every right to bear it. "I'm _not_ one of them."

Something in the young mother's expression shifted at this. At first, she didn't say anything more, just continued to stretch her hand out toward the basket.

"Human...please...my child...my _child_..." she begged him, at which point he moved to retrieve the basket.

Shifting aside a protective nest of blankets, Kallus beheld a tiny Lasat kit, eyes barely open as it mewled and cried pitifully for its mother. Not completely certain what to do, he awkwardly lifted the baby Lasat into his arms and carried it back to its mother, allowing her to reach out and stroke the little one's furry head.

"Shh, shh," she soothed, tears flowing from her own eyes as she stroked behind the baby's ear and under its chin. "It's all right. I'm here. I'm here. Don't cry, _ni kyra_."

Gradually, her murmured soothings shifted into the gentle hum of a lullaby. With each note, the infant calmed a little more, until the tiny thing finally fell asleep in Kallus' arms, mouth opening wide in a yawn as it curled up against his chest.

"You have a Lasat scent about you," the mother said with a distant smile. "It's faint, but it's there."

Despite the seriousness of their situation, the comment made the agent blush mildly. The young mother easily took the meaning of his expression, her own eyes growing more distant as she continued to stroke her child's fur. The distance quickly shifted to pain, though, when the beam trapping her crushed something more inside of her. Groaning in pain, she choked out, "Remember...when nothing else works...this will calm her. She's a good kit. If there's- anything you can do... _please_...take her somewhere safe...my daughter..."

"I will," he promised without thought. "I will do whatever I have to. I _swear_ it," he said, burning gaze shifting from the mother down to her daughter. This poor, dying Lasat didn't know who he was, _couldn't_ know what he'd done. He couldn't change what had happened, could never truly atone for it. He couldn't bring the dead back to life, but if he could save even one Lasat, just one small life...maybe that would be enough.

"Ashla bless you, kind sir. I do not- know why you wear their clothing, but...you are a good man," she wheezed, reaching out first to lay her hand on top of his, then moving it to rest on her daughter's head one last time. "Protect her...keep- keep my child safe...my treasure..."

"I will," he promised over and over again, not knowing what more he could do to comfort her in her final moments. "I _will_ protect her."

"My treasure...my dearest treasure," she whispered as the life faded from her eyes. "My- Ar..."

The Lasat tried to draw breath to speak the rest of the name, but she couldn't manage it. She exhaled one last breath and her chest remained still.

Kallus couldn't say how long he knelt there in the crumbling silence of the burnt out home, with one Lasat dead beside him and another living, clutched against his chest and sleeping peacefully, little knowing that her life had changed forever. By the time he managed to make himself look down at the child in his arms, the light from outside had dimmed considerably.

This was too big. It was _much_ too big. The sensible part of his brain knew that. Even his Fulcrum training dictated that this one life paled in comparison to the cause they were fighting for. But the less than sensible part of his brain – the part that had caused him to defect, to fight for something he believed in, the part that loved a crazy, noble, angry, beautiful Lasat warrior – that part _knew_ he had no hope of turning away from this little girl.

If she were human, there might be a chance the Empire would spare her life, make her a ward of the state and allow her a chance to live. But he also knew from experience that that kind of life was almost not worth living. Besides, this child was not human. More than that, she was Lasat. The Lasat had been cleansed. Lasan had been punished. Lasan had _burned_. And if the Empire had its way, this helpless kit would burn, too. He _had_ to help her. He _had_ to keep her safe, no matter what it took. And when the baby girl shifted in his arms, cuddling even closer against his chest and reaching out a single purple paw to wrap around the torn hem of his uniform jacket, he knew he was already willing to die for her.

 _You can die later,_ he could almost hear Zeb's voice at his ear. _First you've gotta get the little spriggit past the imps._

Right. He could deal with the logistics of this situation later. The first step was to get the little Lasat past the stormtroopers.

The basket was a little too obvious, so he searched the room for something that hadn't been destroyed by fire, finally coming up with a krayt skin knapsack. Lifting one of the blankets from the basket, he gently laid the kit down on it, making sure she wasn't going to wake and start screaming before he went about his work. Moving quickly and efficiently, he removed the other blankets from the basket and used them to line the knapsack, making a comfortable nest for the tiny baby. Once he was satisfied with his work, he settled her inside the knapsack, being careful not to close the thing all the way.

Before making his way up out of the dwelling, Kallus glanced briefly back at the kit's mother, feeling guilty that he couldn't do more for her, that he hadn't been in time to save her, guilty that he'd had a hand in making her a refugee in the first place. By this point, he knew enough about Lasat funerary rites to know what she likely would have wanted done, but for that he lacked time and material. That and others might be suspicious if he marked her death in any way. All he'd been able to do for her was close her eyes and offer up a prayer to the Ashla in broken Lasana.

It would have to be enough that her child was going to live. He would make certain of it. Being careful of the knapsack clutched in his hand, he steeled himself and headed out among the stormtroopers, just as he'd always done – only now there was everything to lose.

At first, no one paid him any mind. He was about halfway back to his speeder, thinking he just might get through this without incident, when a voice called out to him.

"Agent Kallus!" the trooper captain called as he jogged over to him. "Sir, you were down there awhile. What happened?"

"Thankfully for you, Captain, some of us actually _do_ pay attention," he growled without breaking his stride, forcing the trooper to move with him.

"What do you mean, Sir?"

"You missed one. I found- another of those filthy animals down there," he said, feeling something inside of him twist in pain and grief as he forced the words out. "That wouldn't have looked at all good in your report, would it. A successful raid, only to lose half your men at the last moment to an insurgent _you_ failed to account for."

"Apologies, Sir. Suppose that's what we have men like you for."

"Of course. Men...like me," he mumbled distantly, focusing on getting to his speeder instead of the sudden chill surging down his spine. They were so close now.

"What's with the sack, Sir?" the trooper suddenly pressed. "Something to do with the rebels?"

"Unrelated. ISB business," he stated firmly as he mounted his speeder.

"Sir...you _do_ know I need to report everything related to this incident," the trooper reminded him hesitantly, reaching out as if to flip back the top of the sack.

"Not this you don't!" the agent snapped a bit more harshly than he needed to, pulling the knapsack out of the trooper's reach. " _If_ it warrants inclusion in your report, I shall inform you afterward."

"But we've already been remiss more than once today," the man started to protest, still trying to reach for the knapsack. "I shouldn't-"

"Are you _questioning me,_ trooper?" Kallus snarled, his desperation masked as anger as he pressed the knapsack tightly against his stomach. Though dispensing with the trooper's proper title did have the desired effect of cowing the man into silence. He simply shook his head and offered up a clumsy salute as apology. "Good," the agent continued in a calmer voice, though a note of fear was beginning to tremble beneath that composure because he could feel the kit starting to shift in her nest. She didn't like the sudden movements or the shouting. If he knew _anything_ about infants, he knew he would have only seconds before this one made her displeasure known. "Speak no more of this and you just _might_ not compromise my investigation. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a lead to follow up on," he snapped before gunning the speeder away from the destroyed settlement.

And not a moment too soon, because the poor little kit burst into tears the moment they were in motion, her disconsolate wailing nearly carrying over the shriek of the speeder's engine. Kallus was able to ignore the distressed crying for a time, mostly because he was so relieved at having gotten her safe away, but he knew he couldn't ignore it forever. When he felt he'd gotten far enough out onto the windswept Allurian grasslands that her cries couldn't possibly be overheard, he finally brought the speeder to a stop.

Dismounting the speeder, he retrieved the little Lasat from her nest, attempting to cradle her against his chest as he began to pace circles around the small transport.

"Hush...shh...oh, please," he pleaded with her, awkwardly patting her back while still keeping an eye on the surrounding landscape. It would be dark soon. " _Please_ don't cry. I'm sorry this happened. I'm sorry your mother's dead and I'm sorry it's _me_ you're stuck with...the man who destroyed your people," he confessed, actually feeling tears burn behind his own eyes as he struggled and failed to comfort her. "What do you want? What do you _need?_ I'll do whatever you want. Just _tell me._ "

But she _was_ telling him, wasn't she. It wasn't her fault he couldn't understand. None of this was her fault, but she was still the one who would suffer for it. What could he do? What could he _really do_...to help her?

 _Remember,_ her mother's voice sounded faintly in his mind as he began to unthinkingly stroke the fur behind her ear... _when nothing else works...this will calm her._

There had been no words to the Lasat's lullaby, but he found he remembered most of the tune. Continuing to stroke her fur, he hummed for her. Objectively, he didn't imagine he sounded very soothing, nearly as panicked as she was, but she still seemed to take comfort from the gentle vibrations of his chest. After a time, she finally began to calm down, not falling asleep again, but shifting into a more tranquil state, purring softly while she burbled, her sound caught somewhere between feline and human.

When he'd managed to get the little kit calm, Kallus sat down in the grass near the speeder to try and think the situation through – and for several minutes, all he could come up with was that this was inarguably the most foolish thing he had ever done. He was a military man. He barely knew anything about _human_ babies, much less Lasat kits. She would need to be fed, kept warm, _changed._ How old was she? What was it safe for her to eat? What was her _name?_ He didn't even know that, though he was certain her mother had been trying to say it at the end. Was he going to have to name her, too? He couldn't just keep calling her kit. Had he made his vow to her mother only to have to watch the little thing die just a few hours later because his stupid arse didn't know a kriffing thing about childcare?

"Calm down," he scolded himself after a time. Panicking was going to help nothing and well he knew it. This was a challenge like any other he'd faced. He just needed to figure out a new kind of solution. He couldn't return to the city. Not until he'd figured something out, at least. So if they were going to be spending the night out in the open like this, his first step would have to be to set up camp.

The work was difficult to do single-handed with a kit in the other arm, but Kallus had every intention of keeping her in his sight, and he did somehow manage. As he moved through the familiar, methodical motions of setting up camp, a plan slowly began to take shape in his mind.

Zeb. The other rebels. The _Ghost_ crew. _They_ would know what to do. They would know of someplace safe to take her. If nothing else, he could at least get some kit care tips from the Lasat. Enough, at least, that he might be able to care for her until they found a suitable home.

"I hope you all are in the mood for another one of your completely insane plans," he mumbled to himself as he sent out the call on his civilian comm.

XxX

Zeb groaned in annoyance as he banged his head against the door to his and Ezra's bunk. Ashla preserve him from mis-wired murder droids and Jedi bratlings.

"C'mon, Zeb," Ezra's needling voice followed after him. "It's not like Chopper _knew_ the catch was rigged."

"Oh, he knew. He knew and you _told him to rig it_ ," he snarled over his shoulder as he banged the door open – as much as one _could_ bang a sliding door, leastwise. "If I didn't know better, I'd say you two grublits were _trying_ to get me killed."

Chopper gave several trills and whirs at this, finishing the statement with a pronounced _clang_ of one of his manipulator arms.

Zeb shrugged and rolled his eyes, giving a pained laugh as he headed into the bunk. "You know what? That's fair. So long as we're all on the same page."

"Somebody's gotta remind you to keep on your toes," Ezra pointed out.

"Oh, I'll keep on my toes all right. You just better watch yours or you'll wind up with them sliced off," he threatened jokingly, throwing a fond smirk over his shoulder at the young Jedi before shutting the door behind him. While it could sometimes be annoying to have to watch for death traps aboard his own home turf, he would admit it was nice to see Ezra amused about something. The kid had precious little to grin over these days. If that meant a few lost hairs and a year or two shaved off his life in the process, well...that was a sacrifice he was perfectly happy to make.

Zeb was ready to kick back in his bunk and take a much needed nap after their escapades on Geonosis, but just as he was getting settled in, he noticed his datapad was flashing with an incoming transmission. Somebody was trying to get in touch.

Slipping the pad free of its nook, he tapped into the device to check the frequency. It was an incoming holotransmission.

DNF-121 .XX(A)

 _Kal!_

Kal didn't often get a chance to contact him outside of Fulcrum transmissions, but they'd been able to set up an emergency channel just in case it was needed. They talked often enough over pirated frequencies, text and the occasional voice conversation, but for Kal to send him a holotransmission...something must _really_ be wrong.

"Kal!" he half-shouted as he activated the transmission, afraid of what he might see. "What's wrong? Are you all right? You'd _better_ be all right."

He wasn't really sure what he'd expected to see, but the flickering holo image that appeared before him definitely wasn't it. Alexsandr Kallus sat, captured within the blue glare of the holo with a helpless expression on his face. With the grainy quality of the image, Zeb couldn't say if he was actually seeing it or not, but those looked like tear tracks on the former Imperial's cheeks.

"Zeb," he began in a strangled voice. "I'm sorry, I...I didn't know who else to go to."

"Alex," Zeb continued in a hesitant, fearful voice, reaching out a hand to the flickering image. "What happened? What did they do to you?" he pressed, almost certain that the other man had been found out somehow. If the Empire had hurt him, Zeb didn't care what he might be compromising...what he might be throwing away. If Kal had been hurt, he was going to tear every last stinking imp in the galaxy to ribbons.

"No, it's not- not _me_ ," the Fulcrum agent rushed to reassure him. "I...here."

With that, the image widened and Zeb could see that Kallus was holding something in his arms, and as the Lasat inspected the image, he gradually began to realize that it was a baby – a Lasat kit.

"Zeb...help me."

"Oh, karabast."

XxX

"Kallus, you need to calm down," Hera said firmly as the _Ghost_ crew gathered in the cockpit to hear the transmission. "It's not going to help her to see you lose control."

"Right, of course. Sorry," the former ISB agent acknowledged with a curt nod.

"I might also point out that you're holding her all wrong."

"Sorry?" Kallus asked, looking to the _Ghost_ captain for an explanation.

"There's no way she's comfortable just dangling there with your hands under her arms like that," Hera deadpanned. "If you want to know why she's fussy, that's a good place to start."

"Then what do I _do?_ " Kallus pressed in desperation.

"Not freak out, for a start," Hera reminded him. "We're going to help you get through this, but you need to go about it calmly."

Kanan couldn't seem to help snickering at the former Imperial's distress. "Oh, stars, I wish I could see this."

"I don't see _you_ offering up any ideas, Jarrus," Kallus snapped out indignantly.

"Oh, I imagine our Jedi knight's got plenty of tips to offer up. Used to have a whole temple-full of little ankle-biters, didn't you," Rex couldn't seem to help ribbing.

Something in the knight's frame bristled at this as he slowly turned his head in the clone's direction. "Yes. Yes, we did. A temple-full of _children_ that the _Empire murdered!_ " he snarled.

"Hey! Shut it!" Zeb growled at the combatants, seeing what no one else in the cockpit had – the way Kal's eyes had widened at the mention of the massacre...how his shoulders had stiffened and his breathing had grown ragged. "Kallus has had a rough day. He doesn't need this right now. He needs our help."

"Right," Rex conceded awkwardly.

"Sorry," Kanan finished.

All of the racket had started the little one whimpering, leaving Kallus looking on the verge of panicking all over again. Hera pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration.

"Okay, first lesson. Can you see what I'm doing with my arms," the Twi'lek instructed as she formed them into a cradle.

"Yes."

"Her head goes up here, in the crook of your elbow," she explained, lifting her own elbow to show what he should be doing. "And your other hand supports her bottom, like this. Once you're holding her securely, she won't have to be afraid she's going to fall and she'll be much less fussy."

It took Kallus a few moments to get them both situated, but once he was holding her properly, they both visibly began to calm down.

"There. Much better," Hera said with a pleased nod.

Chopper gave several low whines, spinning in a circle on his treads before raising his antenna straight up from his dome. Kallus' head snapped up at the comment, his cheeks coloring visibly, even in the blue holo image.

"What did the droid say?" he demanded in a scandalized voice.

Zeb growled as he gave the little droid a kick. "Watch your mouth, trash compactor. There are young ears present."

Chopper's next round of whistles quickly drew the ire of their resident Jedi padawan.

"Hey! I'm not _that_ young."

At this, Chopper's dome spun several times and he rolled back over to Zeb to give him a few shoves. Then he gave a series of high-pitched trills, actually shifting back and forth between his treads before spinning in another circle, ending the pantomime with a knowing tap to Zeb's leg with a manipulator arm.

Zeb groaned as he buried his face in his hand. "Okay, that was a kriff-ton more than I ever wanted the crew to know about my sleep-talking habits."

"What was that you said about watching your mouth, Zeb?" Kanan jibed. The comment was quickly followed by an uncomfortably low whir from Chopper.

"No, it was not _interesting,_ scrap yard. Would you give it a rest? I'm not sure that's even physically possible."

That roused a vicious round of pokes from the cantankerous astromech.

" _Chopper,_ " the Lasat growled warningly. "I'm about an inch from spacing you and I don't care _who_ knows it."

"So, I've got an idea," Sabine interrupted mildly. "How about we all turn our attention back to the issue at hand," she suggested, gesturing toward a bemused-looking former ISB agent. Kallus just shook his head.

"Honestly, how you all eluded capture for so long is a mystery I will never be able to fathom."

"So...what happened?" Ezra was the one to finally ask, and the discussion coming back full circle caused the Fulcrum agent to sigh dejectedly.

"It was already over by the time I arrived," he began to recount, absently stroking the fur behind the kit's ear. "I was supposed to be scouting for rebels that shouldn't have been there, but...the local garrison discovered a pocket of resistance. The fighting was done with when I pulled up, but then we were attacked...by a Lasat," he said, eyes finding Zeb's with a deep well of apology in them. Zeb didn't bother to ask if there were any more Lasat from the settlement. He understood what Kallus' role as Fulcrum entailed...and he understood what it must have cost Alex to fight this battle.

"I did my best," Kallus said softly, eyes briefly squeezing shut as he turned away from the comfort Zeb tried to offer with his gaze. "I didn't _want_ to fight him."

"It's all right, Kallus," Hera soothed him. "You did what you had to. No one understands that more than us." And for just a moment, they all considered how shocked they would've been just a few short months ago to hear Hera offer such comfort to a man who had once been their enemy.

"I didn't- actually kill him. I don't think I could have...if it had come down to it. He was gunned down by the other troopers. I went to investigate the dwelling he'd emerged from...and I found two other dead Lasat inside...and a young mother...crushed by a beam. I had only time to promise her- that I would keep her child safe...before she died," he finished, not really looking at any of them, just looking off into the distance at something they couldn't see.

"All right. First things first. Where are you now?" Hera pressed him.

"Out- out on the grasslands. I had to get her away. I didn't- really think at all. I just _ran._ "

"That's fine. So long as you're both safe, we can work with this. Did her mother tell you her name?"

"Not- exactly. I believe she was trying to...near the end. I heard the letters A and R, and she kept talking about her treasure. It may have been a simple endearment, but-"

"It's not," Zeb interrupted as he surveyed the child in Kal's arms. It had been such a long time since he'd seen a Lasat kit. Lira San was safe, of course, but he'd sometimes wondered if he ever would again. "In Lasana...there's a name that means 'Sacred Treasure'. If that's what she was trying to tell you, then this kit's name is Arkalia."

"Arkalia," Kallus tried the name out as he looked down at the kit, who offered up a yawn and a purr before settling a little further into his arms. None of them failed to notice Ezra's tiny 'aww' at the painfully adorable sight. "I like it," he said, offering the baby girl a small smile.

"All right, that's settled. Next we've got age. Any insights for that one, Zeb?" Hera asked.

"That one's a bit harder. I wasn't exactly a creche maid back on Lasan," the former guardsman pointed out, awkwardly scratching the back of his head.

"Every little bit helps. The information's not exactly going to be widely available on the holonet," Hera reminded him.

"Okay, well...I can't- quite tell from here. Are her eyes open yet?" he asked, moving a little closer to the image of Kallus.

"Only just, I think," Kallus reported.

"What about teeth? Those come in yet?"

"Yes. Not much more than stubs, though."

"Milk teeth, then. So...not any younger than three months with the eyes, and I don't think she could be any older than ten months with the teeth. That's about when the adult ones start comin' in. And those are Lasan months, mind. I've never really had to think about the conversion for standard, but I- I think it's close enough," he muttered, giving the occasionally flickering pair in the hologram a small half-smile.

"So what does she need? To eat, I mean. What is it safe for her to have?"

"Should be milk until the adult teeth come in. I'm not- really sure what a suitable substitute for Lasat milk would be," Zeb said, feeling guilty as he watched Kal rock the little kit. Here he'd reached out to him for help and he barely knew anything about kits. What could he do?

"Wookiee would probably be best," Hera mused. "Doubt you'd be able to get ahold of it, though. Nerf works in most cases. Would you be able to get it from where you are?"

"I...think so," Kallus said after thinking on it for a moment. "Though it might be best to return to the city out of uniform, get what I need from the market unobserved."

"Would they be expecting you back anytime soon?" Zeb asked him.

"Well, at the moment, I'm supposedly chasing a lead I discovered in the destroyed enclave. I have leave to pursue my own investigations, so I don't imagine they would be surprised not to hear from me for another three days or so. There's time to- figure things out," he said with a nod.

"What were you thinking for the long term?" Hera asked, crossing her arms over her chest as Kanan moved up to stand beside her.

"I have to get her somewhere safe," he said, looking up at all of them with a painfully ernest expression on his face. "I swore. I made a promise to her mother. I _have_ to make sure she lives."

"Safe from the _Empire?_ " Kanan pointed out with a pained shrug. "That's already a pretty tall order of itself, but a Lasat kit?"

"The first bucket head with delusions of grandeur'd be gunnin' for her inside of a Nar Shaddaa minute," Rex pointed out when Kanan didn't finish. "Who wouldn't want to be the one to bring the last of the Lasat to the Emperor."

"But you can _do it..._ can't you?" Kallus pressed, a note of worry sounding in his voice. "I thought you spectres could do anything."

"We're not miracle workers, Kallus," Sabine pointed out. " _We're_ barely safe from the Empire. This is going to take some work."

"There _might_ be a place we can take her," Zeb interrupted before the others could continue to let Kal twist. "It's just...it's a little bit difficult to get there. It's like Sabine said. It's gonna take some work."

Kallus gave a loud sigh of relief at this. "Thank you. All of you. What is the best way for you to- to collect her?"

Hera gave a sigh of her own in response, but then she squared her shoulders and looked the former Imperial agent dead in the face. "I know this is irregular and I know we don't usually do things this way, but if Zeb trusts you then so do I. I need you to tell us where you are. What system?"

Kallus regarded Hera with slightly widened eyes for a long moment before answering. "The Allurian System. We're on Alluria."

"All right. That's workable. Imperial presence in that system's pretty minimal," Hera said as she took a seat in the pilot's chair, beginning to plot their course.

"Only because of its lack of plunderable resources," Sabine muttered.

"Doesn't matter why. What matters is we can make this work. It's still too risky for the _Ghost_ to just waltz up to Alluria right after an Imperial raid. Kallus, would you be able to get our package to Alluvium?"

"The sister planet? It would not- be easy...but I believe I can manage."

"Good. It'll be about two cycles before we can get there. We need to do some scrambling and grab some supplies. We'll use the _Phantom_ to leave a false lead for you. Zeb'll get you more information as we get closer."

"I'll be seeing you soon, Kal," Zeb said with a reassuring grin. Kallus returned the look with a small smile of his own.

"Perhaps the climate will be a bit more agreeable this time," he said just before Arkalia began to fuss again. "Oh, what's the matter this time?"

Hera's grin could only have been described as demonic as she looked at the unsuspecting agent.

"Second lesson of the day, Fulcrum. Diaper changing."

Stars, but it was so hard not to laugh at the way the color drained from the poor man's face.

XxX

(A/N) So...shall we begin?


	2. Do We Get What We Deserve?

(A/N) Well, glad to see everybody's so excited for this little story. Hopefully this chapter came soon enough for you. Hope you enjoy! :D

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 2: Do We Get What We Deserve?_

It was strange, but Kallus would have to say the next morning that he'd slept much better that night out in the open than he had for months. Once Hera had walked him through the harrowing process of improvising a diaper from one of Arkalia's blankets, everyone had been able to calm down considerably. Zeb and the _Ghost_ crew had signed off in order to take care of the errands they needed to run, leaving Kallus alone with a kit who was finally winding down properly.

He knew it wouldn't do him any good to keep watch all night. He _needed_ sleep after that crazy day. Besides, he was trained to wake at the slightest noise, so he wasn't truly concerned about being caught unaware. So, with Arkalia bundled securely in her blankets and settled safely in his lap, he leaned against his speeder to catch a light sleep, the little kit deep asleep in her nest.

Truthfully, by the scientific standards of what was considered proper sleep among sentient beings, it hadn't been that deep a sleep. It could hardly be considered a nap, more like a few hours of dozing or meditation. But when he shook himself up from it come morning, he found himself much more refreshed than after a full night's sleep aboard the _Lawbringer._

He couldn't account for it. By rights, he should have been stressed out beyond all reason, but he felt strangely at peace. Whether that was because he was going to be seeing Garazeb Orrelios again sooner than he'd hoped or because he was coming to terms with this admittedly strange form of penance for his actions on Lasan, who could say? For now, though, he would have to make sure his new charge was well looked after, and that meant getting her fed.

He had a set of civilian clothing stashed aboard his speeder. It had been more common practice in his junior officer days, but he'd let it slide in recent years, not feeling like there would be a need for him to pass unseen at any point. He'd taken up the habit again upon becoming Fulcrum – a set of plain clothes and a simple cowl to help conceal his features.

It was...strange to be out of uniform, in that he felt exposed without his armor, but also liberated in not having to wear the trappings of an ideology he no longer believed in. He could just be any regular man on his way to the market. Although it wasn't _likely_ he would meet with the Imperial presence on Alluria, he could take _no_ chances in this case – not where a child's life was concerned.

Once he'd gotten himself prepared for the journey, he got Arkalia secured back in her little knapsack nest. She wasn't pleased by the notion of riding in the sack again, as she was already starting to whimper and mewl even before he'd mounted his speeder. Already uncomfortable, he didn't doubt she was beginning to get hungry, as well. It wouldn't take much to set the little kit off.

"I know. I know," he soothed her as he situated the knapsack against his stomach, trying to make her as safe and comfortable as possible. "I promise I'll get you something to eat soon. Just a little bit longer."

Before starting off, he took a moment to slip his hand inside the knapsack, letting her grip his fingers with her tiny paws. For a moment, he just sat like that, letting her squeeze his fingers and coo insistently. But all too soon, he had to take his hand back, needing it to pilot the speeder.

It wasn't far into the trip that the little kit began to cry again. Though he could hear the sounds of her distress, he knew there was nothing he could do about it, so he let it be, spurring his speeder that much faster across the grasslands.

The sun hadn't risen very high in the sky by the time he arrived at Trion City. A smaller port on the sparsely populated Alluria, it was his best shot at avoiding Imperial notice. Arkalia had just about cried herself into exhaustion when they entered the city, a few faint sniffles echoing from the knapsack. Kallus took a moment to make sure she was calm before settling the strap of the sack awkwardly on his shoulder so that she'd be in a mostly comfortable position under his arm. So, with a grumpy, tuckered-out kit secretly in tow, the double agent made his way out into the market crowd.

 _Although,_ he found himself thinking as he moved, _perhaps it would have been better_ _ **not**_ _to be so punctual._

This early in the morning, the streets were far from crowded. It would probably have been better to have waited for an opportunity to move unseen within a crowd of other beings, but on the other hand, he knew he couldn't have waited much longer. He had no idea how long it had been since Arkalia's last meal. She _needed_ to eat. This _had_ to be done. So, pulling the cowl a little more securely around his face, he approached one of the vendors selling beverages.

"What do you need, Sir?" the Svivreni merchant asked him, her long ears pricking up in eagerness when she noticed him. "A cool drink for a hot day? Miru juice? Iced caf?"

"No. Something warm, I think," he began stiffly. "Have you got milk?"

The equinoid raised a thick eyebrow at this, but continued to smile. "Three kinds today. I have bordok, nerf, and bantha."

He wasn't familiar with bordok, and though he briefly found himself wondering if bantha wouldn't serve his purpose better, he ultimately decided not to go against Hera's advice.

"Nerf will do. Two thermals please."

The merchant nodded, moving to fill two of the temperature-controlled vessels while Kallus pulled a small wallet from his pocket. But while he was pulling the necessary credits out, a very loud, very grumpy trill sounded from his knapsack. The vendor's head snapped up at the sound, ears pricking forward as her eyes locked onto his.

"What was that?"

"I- nothing...I don't know," the former Imperial said, caught somewhere between insistent and feigning ignorance. He understood how to behave under military pressure, but this was a slightly different situation. He had no idea if he should snap at the Svivreni to mind her own business or act like a complete idiot who didn't know what the loud sound that had just come from his bag was. But while he was tearing between the two, the woman's eyes went wide in surprise. When Kallus looked down at the knapsack, it was with the horrified realization that there was a very distinct purple-striped paw reaching out of it. He was a little too horrorstruck to prevent the Svivreni from reaching forward to flip back the top of the sack.

The vendor gave a quiet gasp at the sight of the tiny kit. For a moment, her eyes just darted between him and Arkalia, not seeming certain of where to fix themselves. When she finally opened her mouth to speak, all he could manage was a small, strangled, " _Please._ "

The Svivreni closed her mouth again, surveying him intently for several moments. Then she shook her head, offering him a gentle smile, much softer than her 'customer service' look.

"You know...the little one won't be able to drink from a thermal."

"I know," he returned quietly. Hera had explained to him how he'd be able to feed her without a bottle of any kind. Should his transactions ever be traced, it wouldn't be suspicious for him to be found purchasing milk. But both milk and a bottle? That would be just a little too telling.

The vendor remained silent another few minutes, giving him a look of respect and...gratitude? She didn't know the particulars of their situation, but she still somehow seemed to understand. Without a word, she filled another thermal with milk and presented the three containers to him in a small bag, along with a small ration packet.

"But that's-" he started to protest.

"You need them," she said firmly, laying a hand over his when he attempted to pull the wallet back out. "Knowing even one more light has not been snuffed out...that is payment enough. You've done a good thing."

He truly didn't know what to say to that. This woman hardly looked like she could afford to be giving away her merchandise. She had little to spare, yet she was giving that little to him? What would she say if she knew who he was? What he was atoning for? Would it matter?

"Thank-"

"What is _that?_ " a sharp male voice suddenly demanded, causing Kallus to snap the knapsack closed in a hurry before drawing his cowl a little more tightly around his face. He glanced off to his right to see a human male eyeing him suspiciously. Openly armed with several blasters and a ring of detonators around his chest, the man definitely looked to be spoiling for a fight when he began to stalk toward them, and the vest he was wearing looked suspiciously like a Wookiee's pelt. "You! What _was_ that?"

"What was what?" he asked quietly, though he kept his voice firm. Conflict. This was something he understood, something he could deal with.

"That _thing_ in your bag. I could'a sworn I saw Lasat fur just now."

"You're mistaken," Kallus said calmly as he turned to face the man. "There _are_ no more Lasat."

"Oh, I dunno about that. They've been sayin' the Empire routed out a couple of the animals in their last raid. Could be one or two got away from the fighting...or were rescued from it," he said casually, sneering as he slowly moved closer.

"Ridiculous," Kallus snapped, turning to walk away.

" _Hey!_ " the man snarled as he reached the agent, grabbing him by the shoulder and spinning him around. "Don't you walk away from me, stranger!"

"Can you think of a terribly compelling reason for me _not_ to?" he asked in his same controlled command tone, straightening his shoulders as if he really were in uniform. If he had been, this whole situation would have been much easier to disengage from, but he really just couldn't afford that type of attention right now. Not that he could afford _this_ type of attention either, but there were only so many problems he could be expected to foresee.

"It's an easy enough trouble to clear up if I'm wrong. Just show me what ya got in your sack there."

"And why would I do that?" Kallus asked, glaring down his nose at the man, for all the good his mostly concealed expression would do him.

"Wouldn't want me to go reportin' ya to the authorities over a _mistake_ , would ya? If I'm the ridiculous one here, _prove it._ "

Stars, where were 'concerned citizens' like this one when _he_ was hunting rebels?

"Here's my _proof,_ " he started as he went for the small pistol at his hip, but before he could draw it, the Svivreni had somehow worked herself in between them, despite the fact she was no more than three feet tall.

"Giren, I _really_ don't need you causing trouble with my customers. I do precious little business as it is with you scaring all the legitimate folk away."

"I don't want any trouble neither, Markuri. I just wanna make sure our friend ain't walkin' around with a decent bounty in his bag."

Kallus didn't _want_ to leave the diminutive vendor to fight _his_ battle for him. He wanted to step back in and teach this obvious piece of filth a lesson. But it was difficult to argue with the squirming sack he still had tucked under his arm. Arkalia was really starting to get fussy now. He had what he needed. He should get her back to safety.

Only...

"Just because the Empire robbed you of your ability to skin Lasat doesn't mean you need to take it out on the first sentient with a purple stuffed toy in his sack," the merchant, Markuri, said with an angry snort and a loud stamp of her hoof. But while she postured for their adversary, she surreptitiously slid a hand behind her back and waved Kallus off. So, biting down on his horror at her revelation of just what sort of hobbies this man engaged in, he slipped away, disappearing down a nearby alley and starting on a different route back to his speeder.

Once he was out of earshot of the growing dispute and out of sight of any of the other citizens, he took a moment to shift Arkalia's knapsack in his arms. With her small head poking up out of the top of the sack, he held her tightly against his chest, patting her back and soothing her as best he could.

"Shh, shh," he whispered gently to her, stroking the fur behind her ears. "I need you to bear with me just a little bit longer. _Please,_ dear heart," he begged her, dropping a tiny kiss on the top of her head without thought.

Whatever it was that finally mollified the little kit, she settled against his chest, sniffling plaintively. She clearly wasn't happy about not being able to pitch a fit, but she just might give him the time he needed to get her safely out of the city. So, dropping one last kiss to the tuft of purple hair upon her head, he re-situated her in the knapsack and took off for the speeder.

Given his issues this morning alone, he half-considered it some sort of miracle when he managed to reach the speeder without incident, then fully so when he was actually able to leave the city, heading off in a completely different direction from the one he'd taken on approach.

Once again, he pushed the speeder until he could hear the sounds of Arkalia's wailing over the sound of the engines, pulling the transport to a stop on the outskirts of a small forest. Half-falling from the speeder in his haste, he was pulling Arkalia from her nest in almost the same motion as he was pulling one of the thermals from his shopping bag.

Checking the temperature gage on the container to make sure it wasn't too hot, he opened the thing up, dipping his first two fingers into the warm nerf milk inside. Swirling them through the thick substance to make certain they were thoroughly coated, he then brought his dripping fingers up to Arkalia's mouth.

At first, she was tentative, just sniffing at the digits dripping with milk, but then her tongue ventured out to catch a few of the drops. Cooing happily at the taste, she proceeded to lick his fingers clean. When he brought them back to her with more milk, she wasted no time in sucking on the offered fingers. Kallus repeated the action until he couldn't get her to take anymore. The thermal container was still about half full when he sealed it up.

Now what was it Hera had said he would have to do next? Burping? Definitely a good thing he had these civilian clothes then. He would never be able to explain a spit up stain on his uniform. Lifting the kit up, he rested her against his shoulder, gently patting her back.

Getting to his feet, he started to pace around their little makeshift campsite, humming faintly while he patted her, which she seemed to enjoy if the purring he felt against his chest was any indication. There was a time or two he thought he felt a gurgling in her tummy, but nothing ever seemed to come of it, so after fifteen or so minutes of the pacing and patting, he decided she probably wasn't going to spit up. Shifting her back to a proper two-arm hold, he was pleased to look down and see her smiling up at him.

"Well, at least you're easy enough to keep entertained," he said with a small smile of his own. Then, quite suddenly, a loud growl sounded from his own empty stomach. It wasn't until that moment it occurred to him that he hadn't eaten since yesterday morning, when he'd arrived planetside.

Despite the unpleasantness of the sudden gnawing hunger pains, Arkalia was at least amused by the rumbling, because she gave a series of lovely trills that he could only describe as a laugh. Against his better judgement, Kallus felt his smile widening.

"Think that's funny, do you, little loth cat?" he teased her, twiddling his fingers along her ear as he moved back over to his speeder. This elicited a loud squeal of delight from the kit, who reached up a paw to grip clumsily at his fingers. "Bit ticklish are we?"

A little too soon, he had to pull his hand free in order to reach for one of the ration packets tucked into the speeder's compartments. Arkalia wasn't exactly happy about it, but she continued to smile up at him as he opened the packet single-handedly, voraciously devouring the essentially tasteless protein supplement. Once he'd finished the meager meal, he had every intention of stowing the wrappings for the return journey, but before he could, Arkalia had started to bat at them with both paws, eagerly reaching for the shiny material just above her head.

Kallus gave a small laugh as he watched her, quickly joining in on the new game by yanking the wrapping material out of her reach for a moment before teasing it just back within batting range. He kept this up until the tiny claws at the tips of her small fingers began to catch on the material, quickly shredding it.

Well, he'd have to find her something else to play with. He would need to keep her occupied somehow while he waited for more information from the _Ghost_ crew. And as an idea for a toy began to take shape in his head, he found himself thinking he just might enjoy that wait. He would have to come up with some sort of story to report back with later, but he'd been getting rather good at that these last few months. In the meantime, he might just be able to pass a few hours in peace with a little girl who knew neither Rebellion nor Empire. She knew only the comfort of a full belly, the wonder of a new toy, and caring arms to hold her.

 _Were things ever really that simple?_ he found himself wondering as he laid Arkalia down on one of her blankets, beginning to gather up several strands of the long grass. He supposed it didn't matter if they had or had not been. What mattered was fighting for _all_ children to have that simplicity. That was why he was here – why he'd done the things he'd done.

So, a little more at peace with himself and the galaxy at large, and with his materials gathered, Alexsandr Kallus sat down to do something he'd never thought he would do.

Make a toy for a child.

XxX

"Sabine! We are not getting finger paint!" Hera scolded the teenage Mandalorian.

"Come on, Hera," the artist pleaded in a much more wheedling tone than she typically employed. "It's the washable stuff. Every kid needs finger paint. It's cruel not to at least provide a basic set."

"This kit's not even sitting up on her own yet. What makes you think she can paint on her own?" Hera pointed out.

Sabine waved off the practicality with a practiced gesture and a pointed exhalation. "Who needs to be able to sit up to paint? All you need is the paint and the canvas. Chu'toro of Rodia was paralyzed young and most of his best work was done from a repulsor bed."

"I allow your paints on the _Ghost_ under the stipulation that they stay in your bunk. What do you think would happen if we allowed a pre-verbal child to run around my ship with paint?"

"Ah, but as you just pointed out, dear captain, our new spectre-ling isn't walking yet," Ezra said with a crafty grin as he sidled up to the two women.

"Wait. Did you two just team up on me?" Hera asked, looking between the two teens in surprised suspicion.

Chopper joined in on the subtle gang-up with a long whir and several taps from a manipulator arm.

"Yeah, that one is _not_ up for discussion," Hera said, immediately shutting the old droid out.

"And here I thought Sabine was the sensible one," Kanan observed from a distance. He, Zeb, and Rex were hanging back a little ways while Hera and the others canvased the market. They'd made a brief stopover on Telos for a supply run. The men had all thought the only things they would need were bottles, milk, and diapers, but Hera had swiftly disabused them of that notion. So while they gathered what was needed, the three older males kept an ear out for unwanted Imperial attention from the market perimeter.

"Y'know, if I didn't know better, I'd say they were excited about this new crew member," Rex said with a small chuckle.

"Is she a crew member, though?" Zeb asked with a small note of bitterness in his voice. "She can't stay with us. It's _way_ too dangerous. She oughta be on Lira San. If we get attached now, it's just gonna cause more pain later," he growled.

At this, Kanan turned his head in Zeb's direction, tilting it marginally to the side in imitation of raising an eyebrow. "Something to say, Zeb?"

Zeb turned away from Kanan with a pained shrug, knowing that it didn't matter that the Jedi couldn't see the gesture. "What? You wanted sensible. That _is_ sensible."

"Maybe it is, but that doesn't mean you're _being_ sensible. This isn't just about the crew, is it," he said, more as a statement of fact than as a question.

Zeb faced stubbornly away from his friend for several minutes before finally groaning aloud, rolling his eyes skyward as he turned back. "Okay, fine. Kriffing Jedi. It's Kal. I'm worried about _him._ "

"Kal," Kanan repeated the endearment in a thoughtful tone. "I heard the kids joking about it after some of your more recent encounters, but I didn't think-"

"Didn't think _what?_ " he snapped.

"Calm down, big guy. No judgement here, just...curiosity. I'm not saying he hasn't done good work since becoming Fulcrum, but...what changed between you two? When did Kallus become Kal?"

Zeb glanced from side to side a moment, ears twitching and flattening against his skull in uncertainty before he managed an answer. "I'm not- rightly sure. It's just...on Bahryn...when we talked...I started seein' things I never had before...and I realized...that I couldn't _un_ see them...so I kept lookin'. We kept talkin'," he tried to explain, sighing in frustration as he shook his head. "That don't make any sense, does it."

Kanan nodded slowly. "It's starting to."

"You've gotta see these things quickly," Rex suddenly put into the conversation. "It's war. You never know how much time you're gonna have...before your chance disappears forever," the old clone said with a look of old sorrow in his eyes. There was clearly a story there neither of them knew, but before either one could ask him, he came right back in with, "So what are you worried about your man for? Aside from the obvious, of course."

At first, Zeb didn't know how to react to the question. _Was_ Alex 'his' man? He knew there was a bond between them, but that was something he'd barely figured out himself, much less revealed to Alex. Did a handful of midnight conversations and a few stolen kisses count as _his_ man? He didn't know, and he _certainly_ didn't know what said man's thoughts on the subject were, but those were questions for another time. Rex's actual question had an easy enough answer.

"Did either of you see how he smiled?" he asked them, glancing helplessly down at his clawed fingers as he spoke.

"Smiled?" Kanan prompted, subtly reminding him that, no, he wouldn't have _seen_ that. It was easy to forget sometimes.

"When Hera was helpin' him out with everything and he was lookin' down at the little squeak, smilin' at her like she was the star of his system," he recounted with a small, tender smile of his own.

"He was happy," Rex agreed, having seen the agent's expressions for himself.

"Yeah. Yeah, he was," the Lasat said, feeling a strangely mixed spike of joy and sorrow in his own heart as he remembered. "Kal is- he's...fragile...right now," he supplied, the word feeling odd on his tongue as he spoke it, even though he _knew_ it was the right one. "He's strong...but it's _because_ he's so strong that he's fragile. Dunno if that makes any more sense than anything else."

"Actually, that makes perfect sense to me," Kanan said with an intent nod.

"Good. Then maybe you can explain it to me sometime. I'm just- I'm worried what this could do to him. He doesn't- have much right now. He's in a dangerous place. He's all alone, livin' on hope and a few prayers. I'm afraid of what it could do to him...if he gets attached to this kit now and has to give her up...or if somethin' happens to her...I dunno if he'll survive it. I can't- I don't know where _we_ are...not exactly...but I can't watch that happen," he finished with a despairing shrug, wrapping his arms around himself as he looked away from the other two men. He had no idea how either of them would take all this, but he'd said what he needed to. Was that enough?

After several minutes of this weighty silence, Kanan finally approached him, laying a hand on his arm as he began to speak. "I don't really know Kallus well enough to say one way or the other, but- one thing I _do_ know is that he's the type who gives everything he is to what he believes in. While that's gonna be great for his Fulcrum work and great for us...I get why you're worried. That kind of devotion can destroy a man...but it can also save him. You can't protect him from himself, Zeb. All you can really do is be there for him when his moment comes."

Zeb sighed heavily as he raised his eyes to look at his friend. Whatever his true thoughts on Kallus were, he meant what he said in this moment, and the Lasat wasn't sure whether that was comforting or not. But, to whatever end, it was sincere, and he could at least appreciate that.

"I'm not really sure what it all means, but thanks, Kanan," he said, clapping the Jedi on the shoulder. Kanan offered him a light punch as they separated, his serious expression shifting into an amused grin.

"I hope you two manage to get yourselves figured out, though. You have no idea how much I'm looking forward to shamelessly teasing you. But you do need a strong foundation for that. I can't mock you until you're secure in yourselves, so get on that for me, won't you?"

Zeb's first response was to give a warning growl to the knight, but that quickly shifted into a mirrored smirk. It was the only way Kanan knew to tell him he was happy for them – happy for what he was discovering in Kal. "Well, glad to know _my_ relationships are such a source of amusement for you."

"They are. Some of the best," Kanan fired back easily, the smirk remaining in place as he backed away from him.

Zeb couldn't quite help smiling as he leaned back against the wall of the building whose shade he stood in. It was as much of a blessing as he was ever going to get from the Jedi and he wouldn't have it any other way. Really, it was as much of a blessing as whatever this was deserved right now. How had they gotten from Lothal to here? Bahryn had been the chink in their armor against one another, but...the weapon that had wrenched that chink wide open had been the mission to Bandomeer...

X

 _Zeb didn't know what it was that had prompted him to check down the left hand corridor. Sabine was doing just fine extracting the data from the backup terminals and Ezra had cleared the floor of threats. Zeb should've been fine keeping watch while the other two got their work done, but something_ – _kriff knew what_ – _had called his attention. So here he was, moving slowly down the corridor with his bo-rifle drawn, ready to shoot the first thing that moved._

 _Really, it was only the instinct of a moment that prevented him from shooting Agent Kallus when the ISB agent appeared around the next corner, his own bo-rifle drawn and in the firing configuration. It could've been little more than the widening of those amber eyes in recognition that caused the guardsman to stay his shot._

 _"Ka-" he started, but was quickly stopped when the agent delivered a harsh blow to his jaw, sending him stumbling into the nearest data vault. He was so surprised by the blow, it knocked him off his feet. The next thing he became aware of was Kallus standing over him with his bo-rifle aimed right between his eyes. "Really?" he snarled. After what they'd been through, they were going to do this again? Except...the anger in the ISB agent's gaze was not that of one enemy for another, but more of exasperation._

 _"Fight back, Lasat!" Kallus shouted, still not firing for some reason. It wasn't until the man mouthed at him, 'Attack me', with a mild look of panic in his eyes that Zeb began to understand what was happening. Sneering up at the man, he sprung his leg back and ruthlessly kicked his own legs out from under him._

 _The cry of pain that issued from the Imp's lips was real, but it didn't damage his focus enough to prevent him from firing 'wildly' at the two security cams in the vault as he went down. Zeb had inadvertently delivered his blow to Kallus' injured leg. Zeb shifted into a crouch, but the ISB agent couldn't manage to do more than sit up, grunting in pain as he did so._

 _"You know, I could have done with a_ _ **little**_ _more of a pulled punch," the man gasped out with a slanted grimace in his direction._

 _"That assumes I_ _ **was**_ _pullin'," Zeb snapped in response, not sure whether to maintain his position or move closer_ – _or maybe just to run. "You gave me a bit of a turn there."_

 _"That was careless, Garazeb," Kallus scolded him. "We are safe now, but you should know by now there are cams everywhere. Every move is watched. We_ _ **cannot**_ _concede to more than an enemy's knowledge of one another. It would be...detrimental...to both of us," he finished, wincing in pain as he looked away from him._

 _"Right," he said, ears flattening guiltily against his head as he watched Kallus take stock of his bad leg. "Sorry about the leg. How's it holdin' up?"_

 _Kallus quirked a dubious eyebrow as he looked up at him."Well, it_ _ **was**_ _healing just fine before today, though I imagine this will set me back another month or so."_

 _"Well, worse fates than takin' a break from the Empire," Zeb tried to joke, but Kallus' expression immediately shifted into something a little more serious._

 _"You just might be right about that."_

 _Zeb surveyed Kallus for a long, silent moment, trying to read a figure he was used to seeing only hate and anger in. But something had changed after Bahryn. Something was gone from his face_ – _or something was added. It was hard to say._

 _"You chase your answers then?" Zeb finally asked him._

 _"I did," Kallus responded quietly, some foreign look pricking in his eyes_ – _something like grief or regret. Whether that regret was for what he now knew or what he could not now_ _ **un**_ _know, Zeb couldn't guess. All he could see was that hollow spectre of despair in the man's eyes_ – _a look he was quite certain he himself had worn in the months following the fall of Lasan. "You were not, I fear, incorrect in your summation that I would not like what I found."_

 _"You_ _ **fear?**_ _" Zeb repeated, eyeing him warily. "Still a bit torn up over your precious Empire, are you?"_

 _"It isn't exactly easy- to have the galaxy shift so suddenly beneath your feet!" Kallus bit out. "To fight for an ideal of peace and security...only to have all legitimate evidence suddenly point to what you were too_ _ **blind**_ _to see? Do you know what it's like to have your reality unmade all around you?" he asked, the look in his eyes moving from despair to just lost._

 _Even so, Zeb couldn't help the small spark of anger in his chest. The only response he could manage was a low growl and a snarled, "You_ _ **know**_ _that I do."_

 _And only then did Kallus seem to realize the utter ignorance of the words that had left his mouth. Wincing, it took him a moment to look up at Zeb with an apology in his eyes._

 _"I'm sorry. That was- uncalled for. At least it wasn't_ _ **your fault**_ _...what happened to Lasan. You don't have things to atone for."_

 _"You'd be surprised," Zeb admitted, recalling the guilt he'd carried with him for so many years over his inability to discharge his duties_ – _for surviving when so many others had not. But then, maybe Kallus knew something of that_ – _of being unable to sleep for the screaming, of seeing the fear and agony in the eyes of hundreds of children just before they were rendered into ash and smoke. If that was what this human carried in his heart and behind his eyes at night...as_ _ **he**_ _did...maybe he could understand him a little better._

 _"Is forgiveness...even possible?" the Imperial agent asked in a small voice as he drew his good knee up against his chest, his bo-rifle resting across his bad leg like a broken toy. And as he watched the breakdown of this human who had once loomed so large as the face of the Empire, of their_ _ **enemy**_ _, almost against his will, Zeb found himself recognizing something of himself in Agent Kallus._

 _ **Tinsahn Keeraw.**_

 _The phrase drifted unbidden to the surface of his thoughts, like a ghost from his past._

 _Tinsahn Keeraw._

 _The Way of the Bond._

 _The Bond, the Tinsahn, had been the way of his people for time out of mind, probably since the days of Lira San. What it meant, exactly, would be up to the two of them. To some, the Tinsahn was a bond of undying friendship, or of eternal brotherhood. Others still saw it as a bond of love, more than what most beings called marriage. He'd even heard stories as a kit of sworn enemies who'd referred to themselves as Tinsahn. Whatever it was, it was a bond of the spirit, and his soul had unwittingly recognized a bond between their two souls. It had sparked awake that night on Bahryn, but now he had given it the name it was due. What it meant, he still wasn't sure. All he could see for the moment was that he would have to tread carefully._

 _ **The child must save the life of the warrior.**_

 _One who sees things as they_ _ **can**_ _be must save the life of the one who fights to create that destiny._

 _"I don't know," he answered honestly in response to the question Kallus had posed, uncertain what his own thoughts on the matter were anymore. All he could really do at this point was...maybe help the man find the right path? "But if that's really what you want, if you're serious about it, then you have to_ _ **try**_ _."_

 _"What- what does that_ _ **mean?**_ _Zeb..." the agent tried to ask, voice so helpless it actually drew a swell of pity from the Lasat._

 _"It means you can_ _ **say**_ _anything you like, but unless you're gonna take_ _ **action**_ _to mend what's past, no one's got any use for those bantha tears," Zeb pointed out, causing Kallus to swipe indignantly at his own face, even though there had been no tears to speak of. The sentiment remained the same. When Kallus didn't look away from him, Zeb tossed him a comlink. "So whenever you think you're ready, you go ahead and make that call."_

 _"What is this?" Kallus asked as he gazed down at the comlink in his hand._

 _"It's funny. You'd think more people'd recognize a comlink when they saw one," Zeb responded with a chuckle._

 _"Truly? I never would have figured that one out," Kallus deadpanned, regarding him with as much superiority as he could from his position on the floor._

 _"It's a burn link," Zeb relented. "You can't track it, so don't get any funny ideas," he warned._

 _"I swear to you I would not do that," Kallus replied, something of his former earnestness bleeding through the Imperial superiority complex._

 _"Wouldn't you, though?" he probed, staring at the agent for several moments. Kallus stared right back, the ingrained Imperial coldness gradually draining away until he was left with that same lost but fervent look in his eyes._

 _"I would have...once. No longer."_

 _"Good to know, but I suppose you can guess we can't exactly afford to take chances._ _ **I'm**_ _not the one you gotta convince," he said as he offered Kallus a hand up, which the human took. "I gave you the tools, but the_ _ **decision's**_ _yours."_

 _"I understand. Thank you...Zeb," he returned, a look of genuine gratitude in his eyes._

 _"Spectre Four, where_ _ **are**_ _you?" Ezra's voice snapped over his comlink. "We got what we came for. If you're not back in two, we're leaving without you."_

 _"Just takin' care of somethin'," Zeb replied. "Be right there."_

 _"Reinforcements will be here soon," Kallus told him as he limped back to the vault door, keeping just out of sight of the corridor cam's range. "You would do better to make your escape from the leeward bay. They won't be expecting it."_

 _"I'll hold you to that," Zeb said as he moved to join him. "We'd better make this look good."_

 _"It occurs to me...I never told you my name," he said quietly as they moved into position._

 _"Hmm?"_

 _"On Bahryn...you told me your name. I never gave you the same courtesy. It's Alexsandr," he finished, looking up at Zeb with something like vulnerability in his eyes, probably expecting him to make fun. And it was a pretty awful name, but still...there was something in the fact that he'd offered it freely._

 _"Well, good to know you, Alexsandr Kallus," Zeb said before punching him back out into the corridor, back under the eyes of the cams, and if he hit him a little harder than strictly necessary, well, who was going to call him on it?_

XxX

Kallus was ready when the call from the _Ghost_ came through. Changing back into his uniform and armor had been a much heavier thing than he'd expected. It felt unsettlingly akin to tying weights to his feet and jumping into the ocean. He felt the fabric of his jacket closing around his throat like a collar, and the unyielding material of his cuirass weighing upon his chest like grave dirt. When had this charade become so hard?

Unable to shake the morbid thoughts, the former Imperial threw himself into the task of preparing both Arkalia and himself for the ride ahead, as it would by no means be a smooth one.

They'd collectively come to the conclusion that the only way he'd be able to smuggle the little kit offworld unnoticed would be under the auspices of some sort of emergency situation. So the _Ghost_ was going to provide that situation.In the meantime, it was up to Kallus to set the scenario up planetside. He'd taken a few shots at his speeder with his bo-rifle to make it look like it had seen combat against another bo-rifle. Only an atom by atom inspection of the transport would reveal that it had been his own weapon. Next he roughed him _self_ up to make it seem like he'd been in a fight. He'd be lying if he said it didn't bring him a certain amount of pleasure to tear into his own uniform and scuff up his own armor. There was a degree of self-punishment in it he found himself worryingly soothed by. It wasn't as difficult as he'd feared it might be to cut into his own skin, leaving a scattering of cuts and blood stains. Near the end, he was even zealous enough to burn his arms with the superheated muzzle of his blaster pistol, imitating a plasma graze.

Once he'd beaten himself up to his liking, he carried the nested Arkalia to the speeder, tucking her far into the back of one of the speeder's stowage compartments. Logically, he knew she wouldn't smother, but he hadn't done this before now out of simple paranoia.

"Ready to get out of here, little girl?" he asked her, leaning down to nuzzle the top of her head. The kit let out a sleepy, satisfied burble before he closed the knapsack over her head. He'd made certain she was fed and changed before everything began, so hopefully she would be asleep for the journey and not call any attention to herself. Kallus made sure that the knapsack was secure and wouldn't shift during the trip before closing the compartment and mounting the speeder, immediately taking off for the capital.

That part of the plan, at least, was uneventful. When he reached the rise above Alluria's capital city, Forowa, he killed the speeder completely, checking to make sure Arkalia really was asleep before proceeding. Sliding the knapsack out from its hiding place, he peeked inside to see the kit deep asleep, giving a wide yawn before rolling over in her nest. One stroke of luck at least.

"I am in position," he hailed the _Ghost_ as he revved his speeder back up, "whenever you would like to proceed with this madness."

"We are go," Hera's voice announced over the comm.

"See you on the other side, Alex," Zeb's voice sounded soon after.

"I look forward to it, Garazeb."

"Wait! His name's Alex? Since when is his name Alex?" Ezra's voice tagged onto the conversation.

"Presumably since I was born, Jabba," Kallus couldn't quite help sniping back, but before Ezra could get another word in, the roar of their shuttle's engines sounded in the distance. Kallus looked back out to the grasslands to see their lander, the _Phantom II_ , screaming through the air. Within moments it was flying overhead, straight toward the city. Then, at the last possible moment, it took to the sky, shooting upward and breaking through the atmosphere, and no doubt appearing very clearly on the local Imperial scopes.

The moment the craft was out of sight, Kallus gunned the speeder toward the city, easily bypassing the checkpointed entryway. Worried over being discovered, it wasn't difficult to pretend to be angry and in a hurry. He was not stopped when he hurtled through port control and into the military section of the city's space port. Spying what he needed, the agent spurred his craft toward a shuttle that was preparing for flight, shouting at any lingering troopers or deck personnel who _hadn't_ yet cleared the way to step aside. He guided the speeder straight up the shuttle's loading ramp, not stopping until he was properly onboard. Shutting down, he leapt from the transport and quickly sought out the ranking officer overseeing the loading.

"Lieutenant, I'm commandeering this shuttle," he announced as he moved past the man and up to the pilot's cabin.

"I- Agent Kallus- of...b- what?" the lieutenant finally settled on, following after him in a daze.

"The rebel cell that's been hounding me interfered with my sting operation. They escaped with other rebels. I'm going after them. Therefore I am commandeering your ship," he explained a little slower as he began to plot his own course.

"You- mean the ship that just disappeared from our scopes? That was _them?_ " the man blustered.

"Yes, and every minute I waste down here is another opportunity for them to slip through my fingers. Get your personnel unloaded at once," he snapped at the lieutenant.

"Sir, you can't...you can't possibly think you'll catch them still in the system," the lieutenant stammered out nervously. "They'll be long gone by the time you get offworld."

"Those rebels won't get far. There ship was damaged in the skirmish. They'll hide out somewhere in the system. I'll find them. I'll find them quicker if you leave me to my work. Now I believe I gave you an order," he said, glaring at the officer out of the corner of his eye.

"I...you...surely you'll want a backup squad," the man tried to argue.

"Later, Lieutenant. I will send for backup when I have them. We haven't the time right now. Get going!"

The lieutenant was slowly backing away, clearly fumbling for some other excuse. The rest of his men had already taken the hint and vacated the shuttle, but he was still clinging. It wasn't out of suspicion – yet. But if he kept this up much longer, it was going to be.

"This is all- _very_ irregular."

"Routing out rebels is _never_ routine, Lieutenant. I assure you. Your attention to detail is noted and appreciated and I will be sure to make mention of you in my report, Lieutenant...?"

"Ergar, Sir," he answered, finally beginning to ease up, a hopeful expression starting to light his face.

"Lieutenant Ergar, then. Thank you. This will not be forgotten. But I really _do_ need to leave. Return to your men. Keep someone posted on comms and I will be sure to alert you the _moment_ I need assistance," he said, silently urging the officer backward. Stars, where was the Jedi's kriffing Force when you actually _needed_ it.

"Right. Of course, Sir. Thank you, Sir," Lieutenant Ergar said as he finally stumbled off the loading ramp. The moment he was clear, Kallus locked the ship down, quickly going through power up procedures and flight checks. He had to resist the urge to try and override flight control on his way out. If he tried to argue with _them,_ _somebody_ would get suspicious. They were almost home free. He couldn't blow it now.

Then, at long last, Kallus breathed a sigh of relief as the shuttle broke atmo. He didn't know how, but he'd actually snuck a Lasat baby past the Empire. And now that he was free of flight control's tether, he could properly plot a course for Alluvium, and it was only when his hands began to tremble over his work that he started to comprehend just _how_ nerve-racking the whole ordeal had been up to this point. He was tempted to go back and check on his little passenger, but he forced himself to complete his calculations first, getting them safely away from Alluria before doing anything else.

When they were finally away, Kallus allowed himself to head back to where he'd left the speeder. He would've preferred to check on Arkalia before taking off, but it just would've been too risky. When he pulled the knapsack from its hiding place, hopefully for the last time, he was relieved to see the little kit only just blinking awake. Sleepily wriggling an arm free of her nest, she reached her hand out to him, asking to be picked up. He was only too happy to oblige her.

Gently lifting the baby in his arms, he half-collapsed against the speeder, only just beginning to feel his own exhaustion. After the run-in back in Trion City, he'd decided not to sleep the second night. The lack of sleep and the tension of the last two days were finally beginning to wear on him. In a way, though, he was finding it soothing to hold the infant in his arms.

"Muh, muh, muh," Arkalia burbled in an almost tuneful manner as he rocked her. The chatter was quickly followed by a more feline-sounding trill.

Kallus smiled faintly as he looked down at her. "What heartless monster could harm such a sweet little thing? Hmm?" he wondered aloud as he offered her a finger to suck on. He hadn't been expecting an answer but when he received one, it was like a painful shock to his system.

 _The disruptor's dispersal beam is wider than he expects, even for a controlled shot. He'd meant only to take out the guardsman coming at him._

 _Instead he takes out the entire street._

 _The guardsman, the focus of his attack, bears the brunt of the ion disruptor. He vaporizes almost instantly. For everyone else caught in the weapon's arc of fire, the process is slower._

 _He sees his victims convulse, caught within the horrific green glow, sees agony and terror boil in their eyes just before they go up in smoke_ – _nothing remaining but a fading cloud of ash._

 _At the last, he sees a mother trying to shield her child from the blast. At the outer limits of the blast radius, they take the longest to die. He has time to witness tears evaporating off the young one's face, has a small eternity for her agonized cries to pierce his ears. In some distant corner of his mind, he's aware that the sound of those screams will never truly leave his ears._

 _Then they're gone, and he's alone. Every single Lasat who had been unfortunate enough to be on that street in that moment is nothing more than a handful of dust...and he's still here...breathing it in._

 _He wants to toss the weapon aside. He wants to shatter it in pieces even smaller than the living beings he's just_ _ **murdered**_ _. But his hands are clenched too tightly around the heated metal, and some tiny, insane part of his charred soul is aware that if he lets go now, he will_ _ **break.**_ _Something inside of him will shatter beyond any hope of repair or healing._

 _So, choking on the horror of what he's done, Alexsandr Kallus drops to his knees and_ _ **screams.**_

Kallus wouldn't have recognized the agonized cry that escaped his throat, so he could hardly be surprised when it frightened Arkalia. When he awoke to just how tightly he was clutching her in his arms, she'd already begun to wail. Briefly, he had to resist the urge to remove himself from the little girl, to place her back in her nice, safe nest and put as much distance between the two of them as possible. For what could he do but hurt this innocent child?

No! She was helpless. She _needed_ someone to care for her. It wasn't her fault that someone was him. So, slowly working himself down from the horror and panic of the flashback, he loosened his grip on the kit, shifting her to rest against his chest. While her small head rested against his racing heart, he began to stroke her back, taking comfort just as much as giving it.

"Shh, shh, you're all right," he soothed as he cradled her in his arms, leaning his head against hers to encircle her further. "We're both all right. Nothing's going to happen. I won't let anything happen to you, _ni kyra_ ," he crooned, vaguely remembering the endearment her mother had used.

Gradually, her tears lessened, but she still wasn't settling. Starting in on stroking the fur behind her ears, Kallus once again invoked her mother's lullaby, humming the wordless melody while continuing to rock her. But while he continued to do his best to keep things calm for her, the thoughts continued to whirl through his head – thoughts and feelings that he had forced to lie dormant for years.

It was like he'd told Zeb. It had never been anything personal. He'd only ever been doing his duty.

 _Good soldiers follow orders._

They didn't question. They trusted that what they were doing was for the greater good – that their suffering and sacrifice would one day _mean_ something, even if they didn't understand what. It was what _he_ had done – given his loyalty in the hope that his pain would bring about a better galaxy. He'd _believed_ in the Empire, but that was only because if he'd let himself consider anything else...

 _Do good soldiers murder_ _ **children?**_

The former Imperial took several breaths at this, stopping his line of thought before it could take him back to a place he didn't want to go. Arkalia needed him to be _here_. He couldn't keep slipping like this. He was at least relieved to notice her finally settling when he felt and heard the beginning rumblings of her contented purring. Lifting a hand from her blanket, she clumsily pawed at his chest.

"Ahm, ahm, ahm," she cooed sweetly, drawing a small laugh and a smile from him. It was only when he leaned down to drop a small kiss on the top of her head that he noticed the wetness in her hair. Mystified, he reached a hand up to his face to feel the tear tracks there.

He'd been...crying?

Stars, what had this kit reduced him to? Here he was, a stoic, hard-bitten Imperial Intelligence agent turned rebel spy who hadn't shed tears in more than a decade, and he'd caught himself crying _twice_ in just the past two days.

"Somehow I get the feeling you'll be the death of me, little one," he said softly, continuing to cradle her easily against his chest as he drifted into a kind of half-doze, spending the entire journey in that strange partly-aware state. He only came out of it when a proximity alert sounded from the cockpit, letting him know they were coming up on Alluvium.

Carrying Arkalia up to the cockpit with him, he settled her in his lap as he pulled them out of hyper space, relieved to see the green jewel of a world floating in the void before them. On a rational level, he knew the flight to the prearranged coordinates was much longer than it seemed, but to him it seemed to be over in an instant. On approach, he could easily make out the _Ghost_ and her lander, nestled between the curve of a river and the embrace of a forest.

To avoid potential suspicion, he didn't set down in their vicinity. Rather he landed just out of their sight and piloted the speeder the final distance. When he finally pulled up to the ship, he was almost surprised to see the Spectre cell setting up a sort of campsite at the base of the _Ghost_ 's loading ramp. Kanan and Rex were setting up a generator while Ezra and Chopper argued over the contents of an open crate. While this was going on, Zeb, Hera, and Sabine were busy unloading more crates from the ship. When Zeb spotted him approaching, he very nearly tossed the crate he was carrying aside. Hera had to remind him to set the crate down, which the Lasat did with a small grumble before waving at him, hurrying over to the speeder.

"You made it," the former guardsman said in a relieved voice as he came up beside Kallus. "We were startin' to get worried."

"Zeb was worried. The rest of us could take it or leave it, honestly," Kanan put in with a small snicker.

"Kanan!" Hera scolded him.

"What? I'm just telling it square. I'm not gonna pretend this guy hasn't _tortured_ me."

"Heheh, of course," Kallus acknowledged with a small, pained laugh, but the tone of it must've caught at something in the Jedi's awareness, because his light-hearted manner immediately smoothed over, becoming contemplative and concerned as he 'looked' in the former Imperial's direction. Kallus tried to ignore the sudden intensity of the knight's attention, making an effort to keep his own attention on Zeb's smile – a feat not all that difficult, all things being even.

The smile widened as Zeb leaned in close to him, a single clawed hand tracing lightly along the line of his cheek. Their faces were mere inches apart and Kallus found his breath stuttering mildly as he breathed in that familiar Lasat musk.

"I really- have been worryin' about you," he mumbled awkwardly, the joy in his eyes briefly dimming beneath the dampening effect of what had clearly been a very intense worry. Cupping Kallus' face in his hand, Zeb gently pressed their foreheads together. "Are you all right?"

"You needn't have worried," he returned simply as he breathed in the Lasat's closeness like oxygen. He couldn't outright lie and say that he was all right. That couldn't be _further_ from the truth. But here, right now, being held like this, he was as close to all right as he could be.

"I missed you, Alex," he said tenderly.

"I missed you more," he whispered just before they pressed their lips together.

This wasn't like the stolen moments they'd shared before. Every kiss they'd exchanged before this moment had been hushed and harried, flavored with the ashy fear of impending death or discovery. Now they could actually take a moment to just _feel_. Alex could feel the softness of Zeb's fur beneath his fingers, and the sculpted power of the muscles beneath that. He could feel the way the Lasat surrounded and enveloped him, as if trying to enfold them into a single being. He memorized the taste of Zeb's lips against his own, and the strength and gentleness of his grip. For a moment, just a moment, they separated for a breath of air, foreheads still pressed together and eyes still closed.

"Oh, _Zeb,_ " he exhaled in quiet wonder before starting in on another kiss.

Their moment was interrupted all too soon, though, when the clone trooper offered up a loth wolf whistle at the sight.

"Hey, come on! Get a bunk, you guys," Sabine teased lovingly.

"Y'know, it's both cute and disturbing," Ezra commented. "Zeb and an Imperial."

The pair both snickered quietly at the running commentary, but they didn't really let it disturb them. What finally brought them out of the moment was a high-pitched squeal for attention. They broke apart to glance down in the direction of the noise to see a tiny paw attempting to work its way out of the knapsack still at Alex's side. Still seated on the speeder, he reached inside and pulled Arkalia out into the dimming evening light. Zeb gave a small chuckle at the sight of her.

"So this is our little package," he said, smiling awkwardly as he reached forward to tickle the kit under her chin. This produced another delighted squeal from the little one. "You've been causin' a lot of trouble for somethin' so little, spriggit."

"Garazeb Orrelios, I would like you to meet Arkalia," Alex introduced, being as formal as he could for the occasion, even without a surname for the little kit.

"Hey there, Kali," Zeb greeted as warmly as he knew how, shifting his scratches up to just behind her ears. Arkalia immediately began to nuzzle into the touch, trilling in happiness. Looking up at Alex, he held up his arms for her. "Here. I can hold her while you climb down."

"Of course," he agreed as he slowly passed Arkalia over, the only reason he wasn't more hesitant _because_ this was Zeb. They took to each other very quickly, both smiling wide, toothy grins as they bonded. And this happy sight was the last thing to pass through Kallus' awareness before he collapsed coming down off the speeder.

"ALEX!" Zeb's terrified voice sounded somewhere in his head. He was barely aware of the Lasat moving in to catch him before he could fall.

"Ungh...sorry...I'm- sorry," he groaned, struggling to try and regain his feet.

"What are _you_ apologizing for, you kriffing moonbrain?!" Zeb snarled at him.

"Language, Garazeb," he scolded right back.

"Somebody take her," the former guardsman called out to his friends. Kallus didn't see who it was. He couldn't keep his gaze focused long enough. He managed to regain his footing enough to mostly stand, but he knew that if Zeb stepped away from him now, he would collapse.

"I'm sorry," he whispered again.

"Kal, what happened? What's wrong?" Zeb demanded.

"Nothing, I just- I haven't slept in a few cycles," he admitted, fingers tangling in Zeb's fur in order to keep himself grounded. From the way he felt the Lasat's head move, he could tell he was rolling his eyes.

"Nothin's wrong, he says. Been so busy worryin' about takin' care of the little squeak, you've just about forgot you're as mortal as the rest of us. Come on," he started, beginning to lead Kallus toward the _Ghost._ "We're gonna get you patched up."

"But...what about...Arkalia?" he mumbled, trying to reach a hand back, but he couldn't protest much more than that as Zeb continued to half-drag him to the ship.

"Don't you worry about her. She's well looked after. The others can take care of her. Me? I'm gonna take care of _you_ , whether you like it or not," the Lasat said firmly as he pulled him up the loading ramp.

Alex didn't really see what part of the infamous Spectre ship he was led to. He was only vaguely aware of being lifted and settled onto some kind of table. The first thing he became sharply aware of was the snap of his armor as Zeb began to remove his cuirass.

"You know," he began without thought, "if you wanted to get my clothes off, all you had to do was ask."

Wait. _What?_

Lifting his head to glance up at Zeb after the horrifically embarrassing comment, he found the Lasat looking him over with a worried eye.

"Okay, you're _really_ out of it, Kal. The Alexsandr Kallus I know would only flirt at blasterpoint and even then, might choose to suck the plasma rather than say something like that."

"Sorry," he mumbled as Zeb began to help him out of his uniform jacket, stripping him down to his undershirt. "I don't know what I'm saying."

"Kal...what _happened?_ " Zeb asked him again as he surveyed the cuts and burns that adorned his body.

"Had to...sell it," he answered faintly. "Had to actually- make it look like I was in a fight. They might've asked questions."

"You mean...you did this to your _self?_ " Zeb demanded, eyes widening in horrified realization.

"Had to," he whispered, head briefly slumping forward to rest against Zeb's shoulder. " _Had_ to."

"I- I _get_ that, Alex, but there's a _limit._ You do _so much_ for this cause every kriffing day. You shouldn't have to do _this,_ too. Promise me you're not gonna do this again," he half-snarled as he held the former Imperial at arm's length.

For a moment, Kallus couldn't get _any_ words to come out of his mouth, Zeb was looking at him with such open caring...such naked fear...but how could he make a promise like that? When there was still so much he had left to do...to make up for?

"I'll do my best," was the closest he could come to such words. "I don't know- what may be needed in the future."

Zeb's features twisted in frustrated anger as he growled at Kallus. "That's not good enough. Nowhere _near_ good enough, but we'll talk again when you're feelin' a bit more sentient," he said before beginning to apply bacta patches to the agent's injuries – and Alex would be lying through his teeth if he said he didn't enjoy the gentle feeling of Zeb's hands on him, caring for him.

Stars, but it had been so long since anyone had just _touched him._

"I'm gonna get you into bed the second we're done here," Zeb informed him as he continued to work. "We _were_ puttin' together a sort of...welcome dinner for you, but- yeah, that can keep 'til later."

"No, don't- you all don't have to trouble yourselves over me," he tried to argue.

"Oh, that part's happenin' pretty definitely. May as well get used to it."

"Then I- suppose it would be rude of me...to keep everyone waiting," he said, straightening up. "I could eat. Think I'm finally hitting that second wind."

Zeb raised an eyebrow at him as he checked over his work. "Hmm. That's nice. Now explain to me why I don't believe you."

"Well, neither of us has anything to gain _or_ lose for being wrong," Alex returned as he stood from the table, wobbling for only a moment before regaining his footing. "If _I'm_ wrong, you'll get to say 'I told you so' in the morning."

Zeb growled as he narrowed his eyes at him. "Yeah, 'cuz that's the point of all this. You _don't_ have to push yourself so hard, Alex. You're _allowed_ to sleep."

"And I will...when _I_ decide to sleep," he returned firmly, meeting Zeb's gaze dead on, challenging him to say otherwise.

Zeb shook his head, the glare only lifting minutely at the corners of his mouth. "Fine, but if you fall asleep outside, I'm leavin' you out there."

Alex gave a small chuckle and a mirroring shake of the head in response. "Fair enough. I'll be fine anywhere, really, so long as Arkalia has a place to sleep."

"Oh, she'll be fine. She's gonna be in Sabine's bunk with her. Kiddo's lookin' forward to havin' a younger sibling again," he said, nodding to let Alex know which way he was heading. He followed without hesitation.

"That's good," he said quietly. He'd known the _Ghost_ crew would do right by Arkalia, but it was more of a relief to actually _see_ that she was already coming into a loving situation, and that was proven when they emerged from the ship.

Hera and Chopper were going through the contents of the open crate, maybe figuring out the food situation. Sabine was holding Arkalia, feeding her from a bottle while Ezra and Rex looked on. Kanan was sitting a little further away from them, still looking generally contemplative – so much as Alex could actually see his face beneath his mask.

"No, Chop. Put the nawin back. We're not trying to poison anybody."

"Thirsty little shiny, isn't she," Rex commented as he watched.

"She's a really good feeder," Sabine said with a smile. "Hope she's this enthusiastic all the time."

"She has been so far," Alex put in as he and Zeb joined the group. Sabine, Ezra, and Rex all looked up at the sound of his voice.

"Well," Ezra started with an awkward laugh, "guess who's coming to dinner."

For a moment, Kallus didn't quite know what to do. They all just stared at each other, and the former Imperial had no idea if he was welcome to join the conversation or not. But Sabine quickly resolved the issue with a welcoming smile.

"Think you've got a pretty good handle on her feeding habits, Kallus? I'm gonna need all the tips I can get. Your boyfriend hasn't exactly been forthcoming."

Kallus found himself blushing lightly at this. _Was_ that what they were? They'd never really defined this thing between them. Zeb said nothing to contest the point, just grumbled vaguely in Sabine's direction while he pulled Kallus to sit beside him on one of the crates.

"I like to think so," Kallus finally answered. "There's probably a great deal still to learn, though."

"There always is," Sabine returned as she wiped a dribble of milk from Arkalia's chin.

"Shouldn't you be sleeping?" Kanan asked him, suddenly joining in on the conversation.

"I will," Kallus returned, pausing only a moment when Zeb put an arm around his shoulder. "I suppose I just- wanted to see what was happening first. We're going to need a plan."

"Nope," Hera immediately interrupted. "No planning tonight. Tonight is just for family. So you just keep your seat and relax. We'll take care of everything else."

"Family..." Alex said quietly, mulling over the notion as he rested his head against Zeb's shoulder. He'd never had one of those. What did _he_ know about family? How did this disparate band of no accounts come together to form a family?

 _The same way Zeb and I came together, I suppose...or how Arkalia came to me..._

 _Family..._

Faintly, he felt Zeb's lips press against his ear, whispering something to him, but he couldn't quite make it out. He was just so kriffing _tired._

Alex had no more time to puzzle it out before he was sound asleep in Zeb's arms.

XxX

(A/N) Here. Have _all_ the cuddles.


	3. Catch Me As I Fall

(A/N) Welp, here's a new chapter for y'all. Sorry to take so long. So glad everyone's enjoying my little dear so much. :)

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 3: Catch Me As I Fall_

 _The layout is the same_ – _the same as it's ever been. He sees the Lasat coming at him, the guardsman raising his bo-rifle for a killing blow. The call's gone out. He's needed. He can't die here. Sure of himself, but still saddened, he raises the ion disruptor to fire on his enemy._

 _ **No! Don't!**_

 _He must._

 _ **Please don't do this!**_ _ **Please!**_ _ **You'll regret it forever.**_

 _No different from the way he regrets every life he's had to take. This one isn't different. Some things have to be done._

 _ **You don't know what you're doing! It will destroy you. Please! Stop before it's too late.**_

 _Only it's already too late. Lasan made a choice to stand in defiance of the Empire. That can't be allowed. The choice is made._

 _He raises the disruptor once more. Aims. Primes the weapon. It's the only warning he'll give._

 _His enemy continues his advance._

 _ **Please! There has to be another way!**_

 _There isn't._

 _ **NOO!**_

 _Taking careful aim, he lets go the trigger. The destruction spreads in an unchecked wave before him, as it always does. But one crucial thing is different now._

 _The face of his attacker._

 _It's no longer the unknown Lasat from his nightmares._

 _It's Zeb._

 _Zeb is the one coming at him with a look of murder in his eyes_ – _the one caught up in the horrific green glow as it washes over him...runs_ _ **through**_ _him._

 _Zeb is the one whose eyes bulge in fear just before he-_

 _ **NOOOOO!**_

" _NOOO!_ "

Alex woke from the nightmare with a startled cry, gaze darting wildly around the room, unable to make out anything in the dark.

 _Zeb...where...I didn't-_ _ **Zeb!**_

"Alex?" the Lasat's worried voice came from somewhere out of the darkness. "What's wrong?"

Though he still couldn't see much in the dark, he _was_ able to recognize the large clawed hand that suddenly appeared beside him on the bed. Reaching out to grip Zeb's hand in desperate fingers, he pulled the hand forward, holding it against his face.

"Zeb...I saw...I thought..." he struggled to explain, unable to get the words out.

The Lasat made a gentle purring sound at this, running a thumb over his cheek. "It's okay. It's okay," he soothed over and over again. "Just breathe."

"It...was only a nightmare, Garazeb. Just a dream," he attempted to assure himself in an effort to shake off the comfort Zeb was trying to offer him.

"Yeah, not for nothing, but I don't know if there's any such thing as 'just a nightmare' on board this ship," Zeb said, going for levity and not quite making it.

"This...where are we?" Alex asked as he sat up, still gripping Zeb's hand.

"You're in our bunk," Ezra's voice came from overhead, cluing the former Imperial in to the fact that it was a literal bunk bed. "On board the _Ghost_."

"I...you..." he started in confusion, trying to read Zeb's features as they gradually began to appear out of the darkness.

"Gave you my bed for the night," the Lasat explained with a small smile. "I don't think a pair of krayt dragons could'a woke you up last night. You were pretty much dead to the galaxy."

He must have been if being moved to a bed hadn't even stirred him. Normally, Zeb even shifting beside him would've woken him. But the notion of Zeb carrying him anywhere conjured up a myriad host of _very_ interesting mental images for the double agent, leaving him blushing mildly in the darkness and _hoping_ Zeb couldn't see it.

"I...we...did you..." he found himself trying to ask, not completely certain what he wanted the answer to be.

 _So very eloquent, Alexsandr._

"You had the bed to yourself," Zeb started, running a thumb along the back of his hand. "Just shucked your boots for you, nothin' else. I didn't wanna...presume anythin'," he said, his free hand moving to the back of his head in that familiar awkward gesture.

"So you...what? Slept on the floor?" he asked, at once touched by the consideration for _his_ feelings and guilt-ridden for stealing the Lasat's bunk from him. Zeb shrugged in response.

"Not like I haven't slept in worse places. I was just happy to see you get some proper rest. You were dead on your feet."

"Cold comfort, I suppose...for being able to say you told me so. Sorry to take your bed from you," he returned with a pained smile.

Zeb shook his head. "No thing. But I did tell you," he said, smirking wickedly before leaning in to press a chaste kiss to Alex's forehead. But before he could pull away, Alex lifted his head to capture Zeb's lips with his own, seeking the precious intimacy of the kiss from last night.

The Lasat was only too willing to give it. Clasping their joined hands a little more tightly together, he reached his free hand forward to tangle it in Alex's loosened hair, gently cupping the back of his head as they kissed. For his part, all the former Imperial wanted was to lose himself in it – to cease feeling like the him that still answered to the Empire and just wrap himself up in everything that was Garazeb Orrelios. He wanted to be as close to Zeb as he _could_ be, to feel him clutched between both hands and dispel the horror of his nightmare...

"Zeb," he moaned softly, pleadingly as the Lasat lowered his head to press a searingly delicate kiss to the pulse point in his neck. Zeb groaned in response, the low rumble reverberating through both of them as Alex clung to him.

The moment was soon interrupted, though, when Ezra vaulted over Zeb's head to escape the top bunk, turning back to them with a smirk that was only half annoyed.

"And we've officially entered 'too much information about Agent Alexsandr Kallus' territory."

"That a fact?" Zeb called over his shoulder with a smirk of his own. "'Cuz I seem to remember you and Sabine bein' on about your guffs about Lasat blue balls."

"Yeah, that was before I actually had to _see_ it. I said I was cool with everything so long as I got some advance warning to clear out," the teenaged Jedi pointed out, the grin still on his face belying the annoyance in his words.

"Y'know, it _is_ morning. Nothin' sayin' you _have_ to stick around," Zeb fired back as he climbed up on the bunk to sit beside Alex, leaving the former Imperial blushing a little deeper at the implication of what Ezra's leaving could mean. The young Jedi actually laughed in response.

"For once you're right. I'm out," he said, moving to open the door and head out, only to come face to face with his master.

"Everything all right in here?" Kanan asked, raising an eyebrow at the scene he couldn't see. "We heard some shouting."

"Of course," Alex answered. "Just a few bad dreams. Sorry if I disturbed anyone."

Kanan shook his head in response. "Happens to the best of us. You doing all right?"

Alex was about to brush the Jedi's concern off with another simple dismissal, but then he found himself remembering the knight's intent focus from the previous night and felt like the man just might know some of the things that were on his mind. Kanan Jarrus could be a problem for the practiced calm of his controlled military exterior. But then, they could _all_ be that, couldn't they.

"Better," he finally answered, which wasn't untrue, but was maybe less of an answer than the knight had wanted. Whatever the case, it seemed to pacify him and his padawan, also drawing a smile from Zeb. His next words, however, were in perfect sincerity. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For opening your home to me like this...even after everything I've done. After all, I was under the impression I would be sleeping outside," he said, throwing Zeb a teasing smirk.

Kanan actually laughed at that one. "Yeah. Sure. As if Zeb would ever _let_ you. He'd bend over backwards and more to make sure you were comfortable."

Alex turned his focus a little more intently on Zeb at this. Once again, the Lasat was rubbing at the back of his head in embarrassment. It took him a moment to catch the former guardsman's eye again, but when he did, it was with a surprisingly easy smile.

"I know," he said to both Zeb and Kanan, feeling something inside of him catch fire when the simple words brought a bright smile to the familiar features, full and so warm. Alex actually found himself trembling lightly beneath the affection in the gaze, unable to help leaning forward and pressing a tiny kiss to the corner of that smile. He could feel Zeb shifting to reciprocate, but then Kanan continued speaking.

"Well, everyone's awake now. Guess we should probably see about some breakfast. Hera pulled a couple strings back on Telos."

"Ooh," Ezra started in excitement. "Does that mean we finally get to break into those meiloorun pasties?"

"It just might."

Alex was about to offer his own input on the notion when a shrill baby wail suddenly split the air, sending a small jolt of panic through his system.

"Arkalia," he whispered before half-leaping from the bunk, moving swiftly past Ezra and Kanan. It didn't take him long to track the sound to another of the open bunks, sticking his head inside to see Chopper and Hera looking on while a sleepy-but-happy-looking Sabine wrestled with the wriggling kit on some sort of collapsible changing table. Still mostly out of it, she started to reach for an open crate that was situated next to the station. The first thing she pulled out was a tiny purple rattle. For a moment, she stared at the toy as if she'd never seen it before.

"Nope. That's not it," she mumbled vaguely before tossing the rattle aside. "Chop, could you pass me a diaper?"

That request was met with a high-pitched whistle and a quick series of beeps before the droid spun in a complete circle.

"Mm, Hera, I haven't been awake long enough. Would you consider that mutiny?" the Mandalorian asked with a large yawn.

"I just might."

Alex didn't wait to see how the conversation played out. He rushed into the bunk and straight to Sabine's side. "What do you need?" he pressed.

"Oh. G'morning, Kallus," the teen returned with a sleepy smile. "Pass me a fresh diaper, yeah?" she said, pointing to one of the stacks in the crate with one hand while holding Arkalia's pudgy little legs in the other. Alex quickly complied, passing her the diaper.

"What else?"

"Powder tablet."

That one took a bit longer, but he eventually figured out which container she was pointing to, retrieving a small tablet from inside and passing it to her. Crushing the tablet over the new diaper to powder it, she quickly got Arkalia secured, picking her up just as soon as she was changed and bouncing her lightly as she started to pace the room.

"Not really sure what's wrong, though. She didn't start crying until _after_ I'd started changing her," Sabine said absently. "Where'd that rattle go?"

For a moment, Alex felt nervous even asking. After all, wasn't he supposed to be passing her care over to the _Ghost_ crew? After a time, though, he held his arms out for the infant. What could a little more time hurt?

"May I?" he asked.

"Sure. Show me what you've got," Sabine said as she passed the baby Lasat over to him. Alex was almost surprised at how easy it was to settle the little girl against his chest, cradling her close against his heartbeat as he began to hum the already familiar lullaby, stroking just behind her ears.

With the apparent magic of what passed for his singing, it didn't take Arkalia long to settle down, babbling right along with him as she waved her tiny arms in the air. When he finally looked up from the kit in his arms, it was to see that Zeb, Ezra, and Kanan had all appeared in the doorway. Kanan and Hera both had faint smiles on their lips while the two teens looked on with open adoration in their eyes. Zeb, though...Zeb's expression was one of wonder – a look that contained both joy and sorrow in eyes misted over by long-forgotten memory.

"Zeb?" he pressed gently, uncertain of what the look might mean.

"I haven't...heard that song in years," he mumbled distantly. "Not since...since Lasan...didn't think I ever would again..."

"You know it?" Alex asked, feeling a bitterly mixed flare of excitement and guilt ignite in his heart.

"It...it's an old Lasat lullaby. Song's about...new beginnings...light after dark," he said as he moved into the room, coming to stand beside Alex.

"Her mother- was humming it for her before she...you mean there are words?" he asked instead of finishing the first sentence.

Zeb nodded, actually singing a few lines as he reached out to tickle Arkalia under the chin. The kit trilled in pleasure, her small voice blending with Zeb's deep, gravelly tone. Alex's grasp of Lasana was rudimentary at best. He thought he caught something about snow and life and sadness, but he really just couldn't piece it all together. When the Lasat suddenly seemed to snap out of his near-trance state, the singing ceased.

"I didn't know you could sing, Zeb," Kanan said with a slightly wry smile.

"Well, if you call _that_ singin'," the former guardsman said with a shrug. Then he stroked the top of Arkalia's head, which earned him a pleased purr. "Guess little squeak here liked it, though, so it couldn't'a been _that_ bad."

"What do they mean? The lyrics?" Alex asked, now curious. Zeb shrugged again, glancing down at his feet.

"I don't know how well it would translate. Not much of a hand at poetry myself. Hey, Sabine? You don't do anything with poetry, do you?" Zeb asked, turning the group's attention to the young artist. Sabine shook her head apologetically.

"I'm pretty strictly a visual artist. No way with words here. Ketsu dabbles in poetry sometimes, though," she said, her expression brightening as the thought occurred to her. "I could pass the translation to her. She might be able to give you something."

"Yeah," Zeb said with a small sideways smile at Alex, who returned the look with a tiny smile of his own.

"That would be nice," he agreed. "But you _are_ going to teach me the words in Lasana, as well. I ought to learn more Lasana. This is as good a place to start as any."

"Sure. If you like," Zeb conceded, but before either of them could say anything more, Rex's voice suddenly echoed in from the common area.

"BREAKFAST!"

The crew laughed at the sound of the raucous summons.

"I thought I smelled those pasties cooking. First pick," Hera announced on her way out of Sabine's bunk. No one contested her as they all fell in line to troop to the common area, Zeb and Alex taking up the rear with Arkalia. When they arrived in the central space, it was to find the little table laden with an actual meal – as much of one as it could hold, at least.

"I smell bacon. Since when do we get bacon?" Zeb demanded as he made for the table.

"Like I said, Hera pulled some strings," Kanan said, using the Force to lift one of the meiloorun pasties from the platter at the center of the table.

Hera raised an eyebrow at the knight as the pastie drifted across the space. "Isn't that inappropriate use of the Force or something?"

"Not when you're using it to deliver the choicest pastie to your darling partner," Kanan declared with a small nod as he deposited the fruit pastie directly into Hera's hands. The Twi'lek's dubious look immediately shifted into a satisfied expression.

"I knew there was a reason I liked you," she said, grinning as she bit into the pastry.

"More than one, I hope," Kanan couldn't quite help putting in, dropping a kiss on her cheek.

"We'll see."

While the rest of the crew tucked into the hefty offering, Rex made his way back across the common area to present Alex with a readymade bottle for Arkalia.

"Thank you," he said after a few moments of blinking in confusion, taking the bottle in hand and offering it to Arkalia.

"No problem. Don't ask me how, but Hera actually managed to get Wookiee milk for the little nipper," the clone said, grinning as he watched Arkalia latch onto the bottle.

The difference was apparent immediately. In his experience, Arkalia was a good feeder, eating when she was hungry, but she took to this new bottle with gusto, actually gripping it in both hands as if she could hold it on her own. He had to struggle not to chuckle as he watched her drink.

"And adding to the fast growing list of things I never thought I'd see," Ezra began around a mouthful of food, "Agent Kallus, out of uniform and feeding a baby Lasat."

"Well, I promise you, you lot look no less strange to me in your sleepwear," Alex pointed out, recalling that he was, in fact, just down to his uniform pants and undershirt.

"Better get used to it. I have _no_ intention of putting day clothes on today," Ezra declared with a self-satisfied grin. "It's about time we had a vacation."

"Vacation?" Alex asked, looking at Zeb with a raised eyebrow.

"Yeah," the Lasat responded once he'd finished chewing on a waffle. "We were due a bit of leave time after our last assignment, so we figured we'd make a trip of it to come get the little squeak. We're gonna hang around a few days before we head back, get everybody used to each other."

"You mean you're not...taking her directly to this safe place you were talking about?" he pressed, feeling strangely ambivalent about the whole issue, because on the one hand Arkalia would still be in danger, but on the other...he might not have to say goodbye to her just yet.

"She'll actually be comin' back to base with us for a bit. Hyperspace lanes shiftin', all that complicated pilot's jargon. Point bein' we need to wait for our chance. Could be a few months," Zeb explained, shrugging as his expression soured mildly, and Alex didn't know that he'd ever been so torn between fear and joy in all his life. "But for now, we'll all just get to know the little squeak."

"Heh. I'm almost- sorry I won't be around to see it," he returned quietly, having no trouble picturing Arkalia as part of the little family.

Zeb seemed to hesitate a moment before speaking again, and when he did, it was to tentatively ask, "Is there somethin' sayin' you _can't_ be?"

For a moment, Alex could've sworn he felt his heart still a few beats. He'd be lying if he said the thought hadn't fleetingly crossed his mind – to take a _little_ extra time in his hunt – to spend just a few more days with Arkalia...with _Zeb_...but...

"It- it's _dangerous_ , Zeb," he found himself trying to argue. "It's _so_ dangerous." He shouldn't be selfish like this. If he remained longer than necessary, it would be because of his own selfish need to be near the people he cared for, not because it benefited _them_ in any way. He should leave...now...while he still could...to keep them safe.

"Come on, Alex," Zeb encouraged him, leaning in closer, the look in his eyes almost pleading. "What can a few days hurt? You _need_ this. You _know_ you do. Why won't you let yourself have it?"

At that, Alex closed the distance between them, letting their heads rest together for a moment. "I wish I could. Believe me, but I can't risk putting you in danger like that. I couldn't live with myself if anything happened to you...because of me."

"Don't _I_ get a say in it at all?" Zeb breathed across the slip of air between them. "You think I can't handle myself?"

"That isn't it and you _know_ it, Garazeb. Don't be like that," he chastised the Lasat. If Zeb wasn't going to be the reasonable one, he would have to be reasonable enough for both of them.

But Zeb soon sighed, shoulders slumping in defeat as he pulled back from him. "I know it's not. I just wish you didn't have to push yourself so hard. You're gonna burn out at this rate. Would- just one more day hurt anything?" he asked as he looked back up, the expression on his face a little more hopeful.

Alex smiled helplessly in turn, shaking his head. "I suppose not."

Zeb's smile immediately brightened at this. "All right. Then you'd better pass me the little squeak so you can get somethin' to eat."

He was just about to protest that he wasn't all that hungry when his traitorous stomach gave a particularly hollow-sounding growl. Arkalia released the bottle at this, her tiny body shaking with the trilled sound of her giggles.

"Traitors. Both of you," the former Imperial scolded them mildly, both his body and the kit. "There'll most certainly be disciplinary action," he said, smiling at Arkalia as he passed her over to Zeb, giving him time to wipe away a few dribbles of milk before passing over the bottle as well.

"Hey there, Kali," Zeb said softly as he offered her the bottle. "Still hungry? Precious as a light dove, you are."

Alex might have gone on watching them were it not for his own body reminding him that it needed attention. Heeding the empty growling, he fixed himself a small plate – some bacon, what looked like toast, and one of the meiloorun pasties everyone had been going on about. He quickly found them well worth going on about, thoroughly enjoying the citrusy, mildly sweet flavor of the fruit filling. Once the plate was empty, he couldn't keep himself from reaching for a second pastie. Zeb laughed as he watched him eat.

"We're not hurtin' for food stores right now. You can eat more. When was the last time you _did_ eat?"

"Morning before...yesterday, I think," he answered honestly, despite the reprimanding look the Lasat gave him. "In my defense, there was a lot going on."

"Well, there's not a lot going on right now," Hera put in, quickly siding with Zeb by taking Alex's plate from him and filling it with second helpings of everything. He eyed the plate warily for a moment, uncertain if he should. Hera raised a brow at him in response. "You know, I'm not above giving Zeb permission to force feed you. He'd like it, too. Better take the offer while you've still got your dignity, Agent."

Gaze shifting between the pilot and the former guardsman, Alex raised his own eyebrow in response to the crooked smirk Zeb offered him.

"She's right. I would. Don't want the parents gettin' messy in front of the little squeak, now do we."

"Or the larger squeaks, for that matter," Sabine couldn't seem to resist adding, punctuating the words with a small chuckle.

Ultimately shrugging in defeat, Alex took the plate from the _Ghost's_ captain, tucking into the offering with a pleased sigh.

"Don't forget, Zeb, you still have to burp her," Hera reminded him once Arkalia had finished with her bottle.

"Right. And...how does that work again?" Zeb asked, looking at his captain with a somewhat helpless expression on his face.

Hera sighed, shaking her head as she moved to retrieve a cloth, coming to drape it over Zeb's shoulder. "And once again, school is in session. Place the kit with her belly against your shoulder so she's aimed over the cloth."

Zeb quickly complied, clearly embarrassed to suddenly have everyone's attention on him as Hera coached him.

"Then you pat her lower back, not too rough, but not too light, either. You need to strike a balance between threading the laser wiring in your bo-rifle and actually gripping it in your hands."

Both Zeb and Alex raised their eyebrows as they glanced at Hera, with Zeb experimenting with the level of force she'd suggested.

"That's a- curiously specific analogy," Alex finally came out with.

Hera looked entirely too pleased with herself as she watched Zeb pat the infant's back. "Well? Was I right?"

Zeb was just about to offer up a retort when the baby shifted against him and the distinct sound of her spitting up reached his ear. Tilting his head marginally to the side, he stared off into the middle distance, freezing in his motions for only a moment before coming back with, "Well...you weren't _wrong_."

That got a laugh out of everyone. Setting his plate down for a moment, Alex moved in to use the cloth to wipe the remaining spit up from the kit's face. He attempted to slip her out of Zeb's grip, but the Lasat quickly waved him off, hurrying him back to his food. For the moment he was standing close to the two Lasat again, he caught a fresh whiff of Zeb's distinct scent. Almost immediately, a powerful wave of memory moved through him – of the first time he'd truly become aware of that scent.

Stars, how things had changed in only half a year.

X

 _The next time Kallus saw Garazeb Orrelios face to face, he had become a fully fledged Fulcrum agent. It was of interest to him how he'd spent so many years as an Imperial Security Bureau agent routing out dissension and had had so few successes in penetrating any sort of Rebel intelligence network, but now that he wanted_ _ **in**_ _on that selfsame network and had no intention of exposing it ever...now it slid its doors open wide for him._

 _The moment came when he was investigating a security breach on Kegan. Rumors had been circling of a new insurgent cell growing in strength on the planet and the rumors had proven true when the clearly young and inexperienced members of this new cell attempted to blow up one of Kegan's Imperial outposts, only succeeding in getting themselves captured._

 _Despite his warning to Phoenix Squadron of the dangers of attempting a prison break, a mad, foolhardy rescue attempt by the Spectres was fast underway, so there was little doubt it would succeed. Kallus honestly wasn't certain if he was irked or maybe a little bit pleased to see Zeb battling it out with a squad of troopers on level 4._

 _Moving in under the pretext of aiding the squad, he flipped a switch and keyed in a code to send a slight overload of electricity through the corridor's ports and sockets, knocking the troopers unconscious, but only dropping Zeb to his knees, giving him a chance to shut down the corridor's security in the confusion. Zeb shot him a scathing look as he entered the space._

 _"You could'a_ _ **killed**_ _me, y'know," he growled, trying to get back to his feet and failing._

 _"I really couldn't have," Kallus admonished as he moved in to help Zeb to his feet, catching a whiff of his distinct Lasat musk whilst helping him walk. "The thing about the Empire is that virtually_ _ **everything**_ _is set to human standard. There's no way these ports could generate enough power to electrocute a Lasat. They would short out long before they reached that level of output," he explained while helping the Lasat limp to the wall, going to retrieve his bo-rifle as Zeb leaned against the slanted surface._

 _"Well, nice to know you think on your feet," Zeb said, his pained laugh turning into a cough as he accepted the weapon back. "Was that- supposed to be payback for last time?"_

 _"Now why would I do that?" he returned with a tiny smirk. "You think much of yourself, Garazeb Orrelios, if you believe you have_ _ **that**_ _much of an impact upon my life. It was simply the most expedient way of solving our problem."_

 _"Well, if you...hold on._ _ **Our**_ _problem?" the Lasat repeated, something half-shocked and maybe a little bit_ – _**hopeful?**_ – _in his expression. "Are you sayin'-"_

 _"By the light of Lothal's moons," Kallus responded, offering Zeb a small smile as he spoke. Zeb's expression shifted into a much wider smile as he looked at him._

 _"So you went and made the choice after all."_

 _"I did."_

 _"Guess you were lyin' before, then," the Lasat returned with a teasing smirk._

 _Kallus raised an eyebrow at him. "About what?"_

 _"About how I don't have much of an impact on your life," he said, the smirk only continuing to deepen._

 _"All right, fine. You have me there," he conceded._

 _"Why didn't you say anythin'?" Zeb pressed him._

 _"I don't know. I suppose I didn't want you to think I was only doing it for approval or something cheap like that," he answered as he moved away from the former guardsman._

 _"Nah. You wouldn't do that," Zeb said, the sound of his voice moving closer telling Kallus he was following his retreat. Then he felt the Lasat's large hand clap down on his shoulder._

 _"How do you know that?" he couldn't stop himself from asking, though he still didn't look back at his one time enemy._

 _"Because one of my brothers on the Honor Guard acknowledged you as a superior warrior with his dying breath. I feel like you don't really understand what that_ _ **means**_ _," Zeb said, his grip on Kallus' shoulder tightening as he spun the agent to face him. "It's not about bein' a better fighter. The Boosahn Keeraw is about greatness of spirit, excellence of self. You might not see it in yourself right now, but even back then, even in Imperial uniform and half-_ _ **enslaved**_ _to them...even then, that guardsman saw those things in you...and I've been starting to see them ever since the ice moon._ _ **That's**_ _how I know I can trust you...how I know you're doin' this for the right reasons."_

 _Standing there, pinned in place by the earnest intensity in Zeb's gaze, Kallus knew he didn't deserve such kindness_ – _not from him. Not from Garazeb Orrelios. He could live a thousand years and never be worthy of that praise. And yet...he wanted to be. He also knew he was going to do whatever it took to be even one tenth of the man that guardsman had once seen in him. He wasn't that man. Not really. If he_ _ **had**_ _been, he would have turned against the Empire the_ _ **instant**_ _he'd seen what those ion disruptors could do. But now, standing here with Zeb, he knew he was going to do everything in his power to be the man the Lasat thought he was_ – _to be_ _ **worthy**_ _of everything Zeb had said about him._

 _"I'm...not sure I believe you yet," he said, glancing down at the floor as he lifted his own hand to rest it on top of Zeb's. "But thank you for that. I shall do my best to be worthy of the honor. For now, though, we had best get you caught up with your compatriots. Are you all right to walk?"_

 _"Yeah, I'm good," he said, though he winced as he shifted to stand on his own. "Runnin' might be a bit of a stretch, but I should be able to get to where I'm goin'."_

 _"Where are the others?"_

 _"Don't rightly know. We got split up. Plan was to meet up with Ezra on level 6 to give Sabine and Chopper a chance to stir things up a bit."_

 _"Just the children, then?" Kallus pressed as he led the way into one of the terminal rooms, making sure to shut down its security protocols before entering. Zeb moved in behind him as quickly as he was able. "I can't help but notice Jarrus hasn't been on any of your recent outings."_

 _Zeb sighed as he followed him to a terminal. "Yeah, well...Kanan's still not got right with himself after Malachor. You heard what happened?"_

 _"I'd heard Vader took on a group of rebels there, yes. And that...the previous Fulcrum died there as well," he answered as he seated himself at a console, accessing the terminal._

 _"I don't know all the details, but...Kanan got blinded in the fight. He still hasn't...figured himself out yet," Zeb returned, and when Kallus looked up at him, it was to see his ears drooping against his head in sorrow._

 _"I'm sorry," was all Kallus could think to say in response, and the corners of Zeb's mouth raised in a small, grateful smile._

 _"Thanks. I'll let him know Agent Kallus sends his regards."_

 _"Might be better if you didn't, actually," Kallus reminded him as he tapped back into the security feed, searching for the younger Spectres. "The fewer people know my identity, the better."_

 _If Zeb responded, Kallus didn't hear him, because he'd located Bridger_ – _and part of him wished he hadn't._

 _The young Jedi was holding his own quite well against_ _ **two**_ _squads of troopers, but as he fought, Kallus found himself seeing something he only_ _ **thought**_ _he'd been seeing more and more in the young warrior's fighting style these last few months._

 _Rage._

 _Ezra Bridger had always fought fiercely for this cause he believed in, to protect his friends and to gain justice, but he'd never before displayed such open disregard for the lives of his opponents. Now, as Kallus watched the young apprentice slay trooper after trooper with a look of savage_ _ **joy**_ _in his eyes, he felt something in his own heart twist in fear_ – _fear for a boy who was clearly going down a path he himself had been on not all that long ago. The knowledge of Kanan Jarrus' fate only served to put all of Bridger's behavior into a much clearer light._

 _The boy was falling._

 _"Yeah, that's right, Ezra. Show 'em what's what," Zeb cheered him on as he watched, not seeming to see the same fight Kallus was watching._

 _"A word of advice," the former Imperial started in a deathly quiet tone, tearing his eyes away from Bridger to look up at Zeb only with great reluctance. "You_ _ **watch him.**_ _"_

 _"Wha-?" Zeb started in confusion as he looked down at him. Then his brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"_

 _"I mean that Jarrus' injury has likely placed a lot of strain on Bridger. It's changed the way he fights. I'm sure you would see it if you took a moment to look. That boy is on a dark path."_

 _Zeb shook his head. "No. No way. Not Ezra. You don't know him. You don't know what you're talkin' about."_

 _"Do I not?" he pressed, looking up at the Lasat with the weight of his own regrets in his eyes. "You think it doesn't happen? That I haven't_ _ **watched**_ _it happen? That the best of intentions can't be twisted? Zeb, I'm asking you, as a friend, not to let him make_ _ **my**_ _mistakes."_

 _Zeb was just about to respond when a terrified scream sounded from the security feed, drawing both their gazes. Bridger was down to the very last trooper and the man had thrown his weapon to the ground, raising his hands in surrender as he dropped to his knees._

 _"No! Don't! Please!" the trooper begged, but his scream was cut off when the young Jedi raised his hand, an angry sneer spreading across his face._

 _After several moments, the trooper began to claw at his neck, clearly unable to scream or even breathe. Then those desperate hands slowly fell to his sides as he lost consciousness._

 _"Oh, no," Zeb breathed in horror, and before either of them could do anything, there came the hideous sound of the trooper's neck breaking. It wasn't until he'd slumped lifelessly to the floor that Bridger finally backed off, breathing heavily._

 _"Well, Spectre Four, level 6 is clear, no thanks to you. Where_ _ **are**_ _you anyway?" Kallus watched the young Jedi report over the security feed._

 _"I...I'm on my way," Zeb answered haltingly. "I'll be there soon."_

 _"Get a move on. We're running out of time here."_

 _At first, they didn't look at each other, neither quite knowing what to say. But when the strained silence between them was finally broken, it was by Zeb._

 _"Thanks."_

 _"For what?" he asked as he looked up at the former guardsman._

 _"Lookin' out for him. I don't think I would've ever seen it. Maybe I just...didn't want to," he said, ears flicking a few times before outright drooping._

 _"There is much I need to make up for," he said, briefly staring down at his own hands. "I could not bear to watch anyone else walk that path...not when I could do something about it."_

 _"Well, you did," Zeb said as he moved to one knee beside him, laying a single large hand over his much smaller ones. "So thanks."_

 _With the Lasat suddenly in such close proximity to him, Kallus found himself again breathing in that particular scent that was just so uniquely Zeb. He recalled some of the other troopers commenting on how they all thought it was a disgusting scent_ – _how they'd all been near to gagging whenever they'd faced the Lasat in combat. Interestingly enough, thinking about it now, he found he'd never had a problem with it. There was something in the musky scent he found almost...pleasant. Maybe even a little bit...enticing?_

 _And it was that thought that caused the agent to shudder faintly, backing away from it before it could burrow its way too deeply into his thoughts. Those were notions he could trouble neither himself nor the former guardsman with. They were beyond impossible. Even if they weren't, this was neither the time nor the place. Garazeb Orrelios was his friend._

 _Nothing more._

 _Even so, he couldn't quite help wanting to be closer to him. So, for just a moment, he leaned in closer to the Lasat, their foreheads little more than an inch apart as he shifted his hands beneath Zeb's, allowing them to rest palm to palm for a moment._

 _"You should go," he said softly. "They need you."_

 _"Kal..."_

 _"Kal?" the agent repeated as he pulled back from the Lasat. "Where did that one come from?"_

 _"Eh...Kallus just feels wrong to me somehow. So does Alexsandr. And I don't think we're at a point where I can call you Alex. So Kal it is," he returned with a fresh teasing grin._

 _"Heh, Kal," he tried it out again, finding that there was something in it he very much enjoyed. "I like it."_

 _"Okay. Kal."_

 _"You really_ _ **do**_ _need to get going, though," Kallus pointed out as he pulled completely back from the former guardsman. "Things will be getting very interesting soon."_

 _"Right."_

 _"If you take the service lift up to level 6 instead of the main one, you will find your way unimpeded. I will do what I can from here, but you won't have very long. Go," he said, nodding one final time before tapping back into the terminal, preparing to help covertly cover his escape._

 _"We gotta stop meetin' like this, Kal," Zeb said, shrugging as he moved backwards out of the room. Kallus stole a single glance up at the former guardsman with a tiny, exasperated smile playing about his lips._

 _"I hope we_ _ **never**_ _do."_

 _"Until next time, then."_

 _"Next time."_

XxX

Alex shivered as he exited his shuttle, in spite of the heat of the late afternoon sun. Despite the decision to stay an extra day, he did still have to maintain appearances for his _masters_. So he'd delivered a false report detailing his pursuit of the Spectres on Alluvium. They'd had no reason to question him, of course, so the report had gone through smoothly enough. He'd gotten very good at lying these last few months.

He was beyond relieved to once again shed the uniform he'd gotten back into to make his report. Though he brought his civilian clothing with him when he left the shuttle this time, it was easy enough to pretend he was completely out of uniform when dressed in just the pants, boots, and undershirt. Tossing the stripped uniform and the rest of the clothing onto his speeder, he wasted no time in getting back to the _Ghost_ , where the rebel cell's little vacation was already in full swing.

Ezra, Sabine, and Chopper were all occupied with Arkalia, having managed to rig up an actual little swing for her, though the swing was more like a kind of cradleboard than anything else, since she couldn't fully sit up on her own yet. Alex half-wanted to retrieve the little Lasat from the cobbled together contraption just hanging from the _Ghost's_ hull, as it looked horribly dangerous to every sensibility he had; but when he saw how much the baby girl was enjoying the swing, laughing and cooing and waving her little legs in the air, he couldn't bring himself to step in. The two young Spectres had her well secured, and if they'd kept each other alive this long, they could keep a baby safe for ten minutes.

Hera had Zeb and Rex doing some heavy lifting while she performed some inspection checks on the ship's hull, but before Alex could move in to offer his help, he was suddenly waylaid by Kanan.

"Hey there, Kallus. Got a minute?" the Jedi asked, resting a firm hand on his shoulder.

"O- of course," he said, barely getting the words out before Kanan was leading him around to the back of the ship.

"So how are you holding up?" the knight asked him once they were out of earshot of the others.

Alex stared at him uncertainly a moment before responding. "Fine. No different from earlier. Why do you ask?"

Kanan didn't face him at first. For a time, all he did was face in the direction of the slowly sinking sun. By the time he _did_ speak, Alex was really starting to wonder if he actually had anything to say.

"How much do you actually _know_ about Jedi?" Kanan asked him.

"Well...aside from your advanced combat skills, your uncanny ability to move things you shouldn't be able to, and your mind tricks...not much, I suppose," he conceded. "Why do you ask?"

"And do you know much about the Force?" Kanan asked instead of answering the question.

"Again, not much. As I understand it, it was part of the religion of the old order."

Kanan shook his head, lips twisting in a wry expression as he turned his head partly in Alex's direction. "Come on, Agent Kallus. Don't give me the Imperial rhetoric. You've felt its effects before. You _know_ it's real."

"Granted," he returned with an uncomfortable sigh. "I suppose I'm just failing to see what it is you actually _want_ from me right now."

"It's not about what _I_ want, though we are coming to that. I just want you to understand my full meaning when I explain some of the things I'm about to tell you, and the most basic explanation of the Force I can give you is that it's the energy that connects all living things. Jedi are attuned to that energy and that's why we can do the things we can, influence mind and matter and the like."

"All right," Alex prompted the Jedi when he didn't continue, and again, the man smirked at his impatience.

"The point I'm coming to being that, since we're attuned to other living creatures, did you know that a Jedi can sense what you're feeling?" he asked as he slipped his mask off, sightless eyes pointed directly at Alex's, as if he could still see him.

"Oh," was all the former Imperial could manage in response to that revelation, recalling how unerringly the knight's attention had seemed to be focused on him these past twenty-four hours. It wasn't just a slip of insight or intuition on Kanan's part. He could actually _feel_ whatever it was Alex was broadcasting into the aether, or however it was all that metaphysical stuff worked.

"Yeah. You've got some pretty ugly things churning behind that Imperial facade. Some things it just might be dangerous for you to be carrying back to the Empire when you have to go back to them."

"Then...I suppose I shall just have to do my best to master myself before I return," he said, not completely certain how he was going to accomplish that. All he'd ever really done was push all the ugliness down to a place deep inside him where it couldn't affect him, but he supposed some tiny part of him had always known he couldn't do that forever. Something would have to give eventually, and now that it was beginning to, he didn't think he was prepared for it.

"Yeah, that's not really what I was aiming for. I'm not so much concerned with your Fulcrum work, but if that's how I need to put it to get through to you, I will. What do you think will happen to you if you go back to the Empire like this?"

"It doesn't- _matter_ what will happen to me," Kallus snapped at him. "I have a responsibility. I _can't_ abandon my duty now. I _can't._ This is...all I have to give," he tried to explain.

Kanan raised both eyebrows at this. "Doesn't _matter?_ Better not let Zeb hear you talking like that or he'll beat you himself."

"And I would be _glad_ of it if he chose to. If anyone has the right to bash my skull in, he does."

"Oh, boy. Kallus, he would never _do_ that, he- you're important to him. He thinks the galaxy of you. You _matter._ What do you _mean_ this is all you have to give?" the Jedi pressed.

Kallus gave a pained sigh at this, turning away from the knight's fierce non-gaze. "I cannot...undo what has been done. I cannot wipe out the past. Nothing I can do can change the fact that Zeb and Arkalia have no home because of me. My service as Fulcrum is the only thing I have to give to them, the only promise I can make that the galaxy will be better someday. I _cannot_ \- abandon it now," he finished with a heavy swallow, refusing to allow his emotions to show through anymore than that. The fact that Kanan could probably sense them anyway mattered little. It was how he kept himself from falling apart.

"I'm not saying you should," Kanan started as he moved a few steps closer. "I'm just saying you should get your head on straight before you go back. Otherwise you're going to wind up dead and no good to anybody. Zeb least of all."

"But he-"

"He _needs_ you, Alexsandr. I don't think you get that," the Jedi fired back. "He needs you _alive._ If you kriff this up, if you get yourself killed, if you hurt him in _any_ way...I'm liable to drag you back from the dead just so I can kill you myself," Kanan informed him, the low growl in his voice nearly a match for Zeb's.

"I...I'm sorry?" was all he could get himself to ask in the face of the knight's frustration.

Kanan tilted his head back as he crossed his arms over his chest, laughing quietly at himself. "Well, I guess this is the part where I tell you that if you hurt him, I'll end you. Zeb's more than just my best friend. He's family, and I'd be remiss in my role in all this if I didn't at least _try_ to give you the shovel talk, but really, that's pretty far behind us at this point."

"I swear to you, Kanan, I could never do anything to hurt him. I...Zeb means too much to me...for me to ever allow that," he promised.

"No, I get that you'd never hurt him intentionally. I _know_ that now. A blind man could see what you mean to each other," he joked with a small smile, but that smile soon became serious again. "But what about the things you can't control? If you go back there and you get yourself killed...what do you think it would do to him?"

At that thought, the former ISB agent felt something inside of him twist in fresh guilt and growing anguish. If Zeb cared about him the same way _he_ cared about Zeb...

"It would _destroy_ him," he said quietly, gaze going distant as the revelation washed through him.

"Now you're getting it," the Jedi returned in a quiet, steady voice, moving toward him to once again place a hand on his shoulder. "Zeb's lost everyone he's ever loved in his life...everyone except us here on this little world. I know you feel responsible for those losses, but you need to build a kriffing bridge, because he _can't lose you, too_. If you can't live for yourself, for the Rebellion, then I'm _begging_ you...do it for _him._ "

For several moments, Alex just stood still, breathing in and out, not allowing himself to think of anything but Zeb's smile. He couldn't let any harm come to that smile. He _wouldn't_.

"Yes. You are right," he said slowly. "I had not- considered it in that light."

"Most people don't. I'm not asking you to defect outright. I'm just asking you to stay with us for a few days, take some time for yourself...maybe talk to Zeb about some of this. You can make something up for your superiors. If need be, we could even hold you hostage," he suggested with a crooked grin.

Alex gave a pained laugh at that, shaking his head. "While I- appreciate the sentiment, ISB would never negotiate with you. It's against their policy. Besides, you Spectres could never hope to hold _me_. If anything, I'm going to escape your grasp," he tried to joke, not sure how well he succeeded, but Kanan at least had the decency to pretend for him.

"We'll see about that. Come on. Let's get back. Rex and Hera'll be starting in on dinner before too long," he said, beginning to lead the way back around the _Ghost_.

By the time they rejoined the rest of the crew, Arkalia had fallen asleep. Ezra had removed her from the swing and was rocking her gently in his own arms. He was starting to look like he was just getting comfortable with her when the kit bolted up from her nap with a distressed screech, arms flailing wildly in the air. Almost immediately, Ezra began to panic.

"What- what is it? What did I do wrong?"

"Ahgh, what'd you do now?" Zeb demanded as he moved over to the kids.

"Sabine, help," the young Jedi pleaded.

Calm as ever, Sabine leaned across to have a sniff, and a crafty smile quickly spread across her face.

"Good news, Ezra. The next phase of your training has arrived."

"W- what do you mean?"

"The time has come, Ezra Bridger, for you to learn how to change a diaper."

"Oh...karabast," the padawan murmured in clear terror. As Sabine hustled him to his feet, he turned desperate eyes to his master. "Help me, Kanan."

"Afraid not, Ezra. We've all got to go sometime," the blind knight said with a small laugh as Ezra was dragged back aboard the _Ghost_.

"We've all got to go sometime?" Hera repeated with an amused chuckle of her own as Kanan and Alex came to join her, Rex, and Zeb. "Does that sentiment apply to _you_ , mighty Jedi? Or do you have some hidden childcare knowledge I'm unaware of?"

"I am a deep well, Captain Syndulla," the Jedi said as the pair of them sat down together. "There is much you don't know about me."

"Yeah, you've never even _touched_ a diaper before, have you."

"Nope."

"Hey," Zeb greeted Alex as he rejoined them, but the smile on his face twinged minutely when he noticed he was still a little shaken. "Everythin' all right?"

Continuing to keep his breathing even, Alex cast his gaze around the small circle of beings. Hera and Kanan, Rex, the sounds of Ezra's cries for mercy from the ship...and Zeb. Among all of them, Zeb.

"It will be," he responded softly, hoping it was true. He couldn't quite help smiling as the Lasat came to him and draped an arm around his shoulders. As he leaned his head against Zeb's, he sighed in contentment, feeling at peace – even if it was only for a moment.

 _It will be._

XxX


	4. Connection in an Isolating Age

(A/N) All righty, so we've seen Kallus with Arkalia, but this time around, we'll be seeing her with the rest of the _Ghost_ crew. I also kinda feel like this first scene would do better at the end of the last chapter, so I may move it some day, but for right now, it's right here. Hope y'all enjoy! : - )

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 4: Connection in an Isolating Age_

In spite of the fact that the Spectres had essentially thrown Alex a welcome breakfast, they still insisted on having the welcome dinner they'd been putting together when he'd fallen asleep the previous night.

"And you'd _better_ stay awake this time," Ezra scolded him as Hera and Rex prepared everything, cooking with the power of the portable generator they'd brought from the _Ghost_. "All we got last night thanks to that little stunt were ration bars."

"Then I shall do my best not to work myself to within an inch of my life in the next half hour," he returned in response to Ezra's teasing tone.

"Good, 'cuz if you working yourself to death leads to me not eating, we're gonna have problems," Ezra fired back, a spark of amusement lurking beneath the mock-serious expression on his face.

"Glad to know you have your priorities in order," he said with a smirk.

"Oh, I'm on it. I'm sharp. Nobody gets to work themselves to death on this ship," Ezra said with a stiff nod and the same mock straight face.

Sabine brought out the entertainment for the night when she brought Arkalia's bottle down from the ship, passing the bottle to Alex as she pulled out a holo-capture, going around and taking images of everyone – Rex and Hera cooking, Chopper chasing Ezra around with his electrified manipulator, Alex feeding Arkalia, Hera and Kanan sitting together, and the moment after when Kanan stole a kiss, Ezra and Zeb arguing over the last bantha tenderloin, Rex stealing it for himself, Zeb actually feeding Alex while he continued to feed Arkalia, Chopper briefly running away with the kit so Alex would properly eat, Arkalia's wild and exciting ride with Chopper, Zeb retrieving her when Alex was driven near to distraction, several images of Alex holding Arkalia while Zeb held them both, even one image where she got them all together as a group.

"You'll send me some of those later, won't you?" Alex asked the young Mandalorian. "I think...I would like to have some of them...for when I return."

"No problem. That's actually kinda why I did it," she explained, finally shutting the capture down so she could finish the last of her meal. "Thought you might like to have something to keep with you."

"Oh. Thank you," he said quietly as he looked down at Arkalia, fed and freshly changed, but still cranky for some reason. He felt like the smile on his face could only be described as helpless. He really just wasn't _used_ to this level of kindness, which was why he needed to tell himself it wasn't weakness when he leaned a little further into Zeb's embrace, the Lasat wrapping his arm a little more firmly around his shoulders as he reached down to stroke behind the agitated kit's ears.

"Aw, Kali, you're just like this one, aren't you," Zeb teased the little girl, smiling sideways at Alex. "Won't sleep even if you're tired."

"Well, perhaps she has a good reason to stay awake," the former Imperial sniffed, though he was still smiling himself.

"Like what?"

"Well...she hasn't had her song yet," he noted thoughtfully as he lifted the baby to rest against his chest, wondering if it was only the one song she enjoyed or if she maybe liked singing in general. Could he test that theory? He really didn't know all that many songs. That sort of behavior had never been encouraged by the Empire. But there was one he found himself _half_ remembering – he didn't know where from. Not likely the academy. More probably from his days as a ward of the state, back in the days of the dying Republic. Or could it have been from before that, even? Back before he'd been surrendered? _Did_ he actually remember anything from that far back?

 _Doesn't matter,_ he concluded. All it meant now was that he might have a new song for Arkalia, or part of one, at least. So, joining Zeb in stroking her head, he began to sing what he could remember.

 _Now I know you're safe here in my heart_

 _You will always be with me_

 _We'll never be apart_

 _Love survives beyond our lives_

 _I feel those times growing stronger_

 _Love survives the tears we cry_

 _Yes, love survives it all_

 _Love survives it all_

Alex sang the broken refrain through a few times, pleased to see Arkalia settling down until, at last, she yawned and fell asleep against his chest. For several moments, he was aware of nothing but the sleeping kit in his arms and Zeb's arms around them both. When he was finally drawn out of their little sphere, it was by Hera's gentle voice.

"You wouldn't know it to look at you, but you've actually got a half decent voice. Probably just out of practice."

"Don't suppose the Empire condones that sort of thing," Rex put in.

"Not really, no. I'm not entirely certain where I heard the song. That isn't even the whole of it. I just wondered if her mother's lullaby was the only song she liked," he answered softly, still looking down at Arkalia.

"Well, mystery solved. Guess she just likes bein' sung to," Zeb said, leaning in to nuzzle at Alex's temple. "Gonna have to brush up on our singin'."

"Hmm. The _Ghost_ choir of Lothal. Has a certain ring to it," Kanan said with a nod.

As the group began to debate the merits of teaching Chopper to harmonize, Zeb was suddenly whispering in his ear, "Yeah, this lot'll be at this for a while. We should probably get this little princess to bed before they wake her. I think you could do with more sleep, too."

Alex nodded his agreement, rising carefully from his seat along with Zeb. Nodding their goodnights to the other Spectres, they made their way back aboard the _Ghost_ , heading toward Sabine's open quarters. The collapsible changing table had been put away, but the space was still occupied by another collapsible piece of furniture – a crib for the baby girl. When Alex laid her down in it, she shifted a few times before finally settling down to sleep.

"And she'll- be all right on her own? Until Sabine comes to bed?" Alex asked, glancing back over his shoulder as Zeb led him from the room.

"Sure. Nothin's gonna happen to her on board the _Ghost_. Besides, if she does wake, I'm pretty sure we'd be able to hear her from our bunk anyway."

Alex found himself once again blushing mildly at the use of the word 'our'. He'd been doing that a lot these last few days, blushing.

"And...will we both _fit_ in that bunk?" he asked as he was led into the small room, the question the least awkward way he could think of to ask if they would be sharing the bed this time. For several moments, the only response he received was the Lasat's pleased purring.

"Gonna be _really_ cozy, but I think we can make it work. We've done with less, you 'n me," he said, smiling warmly as he looked down at the former Imperial.

Alex gave an answering smile of his own, but also felt something both joyous and painful twist within his heart at the open adoration in the Lasat's eyes. Had he ever wept from sheer joy before? He didn't think so, and hopefully he wasn't going to start now. Instead he leaned in to press his forehead against Zeb's once more.

"We have at that," he said softly, voice just on the verge of breaking. "And I'm so happy we did."

"Alex," Zeb sighed in bliss, the purr from earlier returning briefly as he pulled Alex into a kiss.

For several minutes, all either of them could seem to manage was to stand there, languishing in the kiss and the feel of just holding each other. When Zeb managed to pull away long enough to press a kiss to the juncture of his jaw and neck, Alex gave a sharp _gasp_ at the velvety warm feel of his lips against the bare skin. At the sound, the Lasat actually _shuddered_ against him.

"Aw, Karabast," the former guardsman muttered in only partly faked annoyance. "If you keep makin' sounds like that, we aren't gonna be doin' much sleepin' tonight. Wouldn't really be fair to the kid. Which side do you want? Edge of the bunk or up against the wall?"

Alex had to wonder if Zeb was aware of what he'd said, because literally no part of him would have objected to being up against the wall where Zeb was concerned. It took every last ounce of self control he possessed not to say as much. It would, indeed, not have been fair to Ezra. So he instead went with a more practical approach in an attempt to walk his thoughts back from that almost inevitable direction.

"I think- I would prefer the wall," he said with a small nod. "I'd like to be between that and you."

"Your wish is my command," the Lasat said with a light chuckle, sweeping an arm toward the bunk. "After you, _ni alitha,_ " he finished, voice briefly switching to the more purred, rolling tones of Lasana.

"What does that mean?" Alex couldn't quite keep himself from asking as he followed Zeb's lead, kicking off his boots before crawling onto the bed.

"Ah," Zeb started, ears twitching anxiously as he scratched at the back of his head. If Alex was interpreting the darkening of his cheeks correctly, he might've actually been _blushing_. "It's- not got an _exact_ translation. Its literal meanin' in Basic is 'my sparring partner', but that means somethin' different in Lasana. Precious...darlin'...sweet," he offered up helplessly. "I guess it's like sayin' 'you're the only one I want to spar with'. Y'know, foolish pet names. It- it was silly," he said, shrugging as he sat down on the bunk beside Alex.

The former Imperial had thought his smile couldn't grow wider, but Garazeb Orrelios had proved him wrong yet again with that one. Reaching forward to cup the Lasat's cheek in his hand, he brushed a thumb along the heated skin. "In no way was it silly, Zeb... _ni alitha_ ," he tried the words out, and whether he'd said them right or not, the near-stricken smile on Zeb's face was worth it. "How did I do?"

"Pretty good. That _th_ in the middle's a bit harder, but you almost got it."

"Then I'll just have to keep saying it until it's perfect... _ni alitha_ ," he tried again, smiling as he leaned in for another kiss. He felt something in his heart melt a little at the way Zeb's lips shifted into a smile against his.

"Beautiful," the Lasat warrior said softly as he pulled back from him, and in Alex's experience, it was not a word he used often. He would have to treasure it for what it was.

" _Ni alitha_ ," he said again as they lay down together. "My darling."

 _My beloved._

Never in his wildest dreams had he imagined that _he_ could be the cause of such a look in Zeb's eyes – like he was the happiest he'd ever been, but that he might've also been about to burst into tears. Reaching across the minimal space between them to cup Alex's face in his hands, he nuzzled up as close to him as he could get without actually initiating a new kiss.

"Ashla, but I could look into those eyes all night, but you need your rest. We'd better do this back-to-chest."

Alex actually laughed at that one, beginning to shift so that he was lying facing the wall while being careful not to knock Zeb from the bed. "Whatever you need to do to sleep."

"Oh, I dunno that _I'll_ sleep. Mostly, I just wanna lie here and hold you," Zeb said as he draped an arm across Alex's middle in order to cradle him securely against his chest. "But you _do_ need to sleep."

"Zeb, I really hope that's just you being a romantic fool and not actually threatening to lose sleep over me," the former Imperial called over his shoulder as he reached his opposite hand up to entwine his fingers with Zeb's.

"Guess we'll find out in the mornin'," the Lasat said with a yawn.

"Zeb-" he started in warningly.

"G'night," Zeb called in a sing-song sort of voice to let Alex know he was done talking about it. Sighing, he closed his eyes and cuddled a little closer against the Lasat's chest, briefly squeezing his hand just a little tighter. The Fulcrum agent felt the returned pressure of those thick, strong fingers against his for only a moment before his still-battered body finally began to catch up with him, flipping a switch in his brain and overwhelming him with exhaustion.

"Good night, Zeb," he whispered as he drifted off, half-wondering if it was all going to prove to be a dream, if he might just wake up back aboard the _Lawbringer_. After all, how _could_ it be real? _Any_ of this? He couldn't _remember_ a time when he'd been this happy...didn't think he'd _ever_ been, if he were honest with himself. How could it last?

How was he going to make himself go back when it was over?

XxX

When Sabine woke early the next morning, it was to the sound of Arkalia's cranky whimpers. The kit wasn't all the way awake yet, but she would be soon.

"Better head that one off at the pass," the teenaged artist said to herself as she climbed down from her bunk, going to the cradle to first make sure Arkalia didn't need changing. When that turned out not to be the case, she headed out of the room, making her way to the galley while yawning nearly every step of the way.

Grabbing herself one of the meiloorun pasties from the refrigeration unit, she went about preparing the little Lasat's bottle while she munched on her own impromptu breakfast.

 _Who'd have thought it,_ she found herself thinking as she parsed out the proper serving of milk from one of the thermals. _Before long, we're going to have some kind of miniature Zeb running around._

But then, there were a lot of things a sane being wouldn't have thought just a few months back. Zeb and Kallus, for one. She didn't think she was ever going to forget the tiny, secretive smile that had lit the Lasat's face after she'd delivered the ISB agent's message after the Skystrike mission.

 _"Tell Garazeb Orrelios...we are even. But I_ _ **do**_ _still expect that rematch,"_ the agent had said with a small, reticent smile of his own.

It was only after that admittedly bizarre exchange that she'd started to pay more attention to their interactions with each other, and had started to see what she'd missed before – what would've been so blatantly obvious to anyone who'd _actually_ been paying attention.

Somehow, in spite of _everything_ , the two men had started to fall for each other. And now they were finally getting to see the blooming of those seeds that had been planted who could say how long ago. If enemies like Zeb and Kallus could learn to see past their differences to find someone worth caring for...hell...maybe _anyone_ could manage it. Maybe there was hope for the galaxy after all?

"Mornin', Sabine," she heard Rex call to her just as she was finishing up the bottle.

"Hey, Rex."

"Not used to seein' you out and about quite this early."

"Better get used to it. We'll all be keeping some pretty odd hours these next couple months."

"I believe it. Little Miss Kali awake then?"

"Not just yet, but she's going to be. _Very_ soon."

"Best get back to her then. Can't have the little nipper makin' a ruckus too early. Let me know if you ever need a break, though. I'm always right here," the clone reminded her as he went about preparing the morning caf.

Something in his voice, though she couldn't guess what, caused the young Mandalorian to look back at the clone captain. He didn't _look_ any different, just his usual mostly-cheery self as he went about his typical morning routine, but it seemed to her she'd been noticing a lot more things ever since she'd picked up on Zeb and Kallus. In this case, it was the fact that Rex had seemed to have moments like this a lot since the whole Arkalia business had started – like there was something just beneath the surface he was afraid of letting others see.

" _Gar jahaala?_ " she asked him.

 _Are you all right?_

Even though she knew he spoke Mando'a, she didn't often do it with him for reasons even she couldn't quite figure out. It was his surprise at her use of their birth language, more than anything, that probably jolted him into answering truthfully.

" _Lek,_ " he answered simply, but then sighed before giving her a proper answer. " _Ni slanar at ner cyar'ika...ner Ahsoka. Ni...Ni shi...Ni or'trikar par kaysh,_ " he said, briefly squeezing his eyes shut before turning away from her, attempting to go back to what he'd been doing.

Ah. So that was it. He was missing Ahsoka. They had all known there had been something between the clone captain and his Jedi commander, but neither had exactly been forthcoming about what that something was. Rex wouldn't talk about Ahsoka after her death, and this was the first time Sabine had heard him refer to her as _cyar'ika_ – beloved. The fact that he'd told her this in Mando'a also spoke to the depths of his grief, even if it wasn't visible on the surface. Grief was sometimes difficult to express in their warrior's mother tongue.

"I'm sorry," she said, switching back to Basic to relieve him of the immediacy and the intensity of his grief. "I didn't know."

Rex managed a small, pained laugh at that, quickly wiping the bright shine of tears from his eyes. "That was sorta the idea. We never wanted to muddy things up...with the Rebellion and everything. Heh...oh, Ahsoka...what would she say if she could see me like this?" he wondered as he glanced down at his hands, which had begun to tremble just a little before he'd mastered himself, clenching them into fists.

"I don't know that...not really," she said as she moved back toward the captain, tentatively placing a hand on his shoulder. "But I think she might say that...she's proud of you...and...that she misses you, too."

Rex tensed beneath her touch from the first, but just as he was beginning to relax, he heard her words and a tiny, choked sound escaped his throat. As he was facing away from her, Sabine couldn't see what his actual response was, but when he spoke again, it was in a mostly steady voice.

" _Vor entye, Sabine Wren,_ " he said formally, briefly resting a hand on top of hers, expressing the depth of his gratitude through the subtlety of their birth tongue. When he turned back to her, all signs of his near breakdown had been smoothed from his face. "It may not seem like much, but it helps. She would'a _loved_ this, though...seein' that little nipper find herself a family. Better get back to her while you still can," he finished with a nod.

"Right," she started as she moved a few steps back. "Rex?"

"Hmm?" he asked, looking back up at her.

"You know we're- here...if you ever need to talk."

"Yeah, I know," he said, waving her off. "Go on. You've got more important things to take care of."

He wouldn't, Sabine found herself thinking as she headed out of the galley. Not for one moment did she think Rex would ever actually want to talk. He was just as hard-headed as any son of Mandalore. More so, really. But maybe if they could get Kallus to open up, they might also have a little success with Rex, too. Sabine grinned as she approached her bunk, feeling the familiar flare of inspiration as it coiled in her chest, firing out to her fingers with a hunger to be expressed. Arkalia was just letting out her first demands for attention as Sabine entered the room, clearly not pleased with having been left alone.

"I know. I know. Good morning to you, too, little loth cat," Sabine said as she crossed the room, quickly lifting the baby Lasat from her cradle and plopping the bottle in her mouth. Arkalia latched on immediately, first with both hands, then with both feet. Sabine laughed as she watched. "Let's not wake everybody up too early this morning, yeah?" she teased, leaning down to nuzzle the little girl's ear as she fed.

While Arkalia guzzled contentedly at her bottle, ideas were sweeping through Sabine's head faster than she could seem to commit them to memory. Just as soon as the kit was taken care of, the paint was coming out.

"What do you say, baby girl? It's early yet. Wanna spend the morning painting with your Aunt Sabine?" she asked when Arkalia had finally given up on the bottle, jerking her head away with a messy few dribbles of milk and a _very_ happy trill. Logically, she knew the kit couldn't understand what she was saying but, as an artist, Sabine Wren had always erred on the side of utterly screwing logic. Nobody could tell her her new charge wasn't just as excited as she was about getting to paint. So, laying her out comfortably on a blanket spread over her floor, Sabine retrieved her supplies, spreading everything out and talking aimlessly while listening to Arkalia trill and coo.

"First things first, we're gonna paint all your stuff. It all looks so boring. We can't have that," Sabine chided, as if it were somehow someone's fault that the universe lacked artistic vision. "What do you think? Dejarik pattern for the crate?" she asked, waving a paintbrush dripping with white paint over the little kit's head. Arkalia reached for the brush with a smile, but Sabine quickly snatched it away, leaving a few drops of the white pigment on her arm.

"Ah-la. Ah-la," she babbled tunefully, continuing to reach out. Between brushes dripping with paint and a few other toys, Sabine managed to keep the little girl occupied while she worked. The storage crate was soon just as dejariked as many other things in her quarters.

"And for the changing table, I think we're gonna go nova-style coloring," she commented as she unfolded the table, priming it to cover the surface in the colors of an exploding star. By the time it was finished, the baby had several artfully placed streaks of orange, green, and blue paint in her fur. But when Sabine attempted to pull the brush back again, Arkalia actually reached out with her _foot_ , toes curling to trap her wrist before she could retreat.

"Crafty little girl," Sabine complimented her, carefully disentangling herself from the strong grip of the baby's prehensile foot. "We'll make a rebel out of you yet," she said before painting a tiny smattering of pink dots across the bottom of her foot, drawing a delighted squeal from her.

"Then there's the crib," she continued, not completely certain what she wanted to do as she stared at the plain plastoid frame. Arkalia just purred, foot reaching out for a stuffed loth cat toy and retrieving it with a triumphant smile.

"Y'know, my father put a modified jaig pattern on the cradle my brother and I slept in. You don't strike me as the jaig type, though," she said absently as she dipped her brush into an open container of royal purple paint, swirling the brush through the thick substance as she let herself mull, hoping for an idea to come to her. When Arkalia caught her attention again, though, it was because she'd rolled over on her blanket, whining insistently as she stretched her hands toward the container.

Huh. That was something. Sabine vaguely recalled reading somewhere that Wookiee pups could roll over on their own at five months, so maybe it was the same with Lasat kits. It would definitely give them a better estimate for her age. Smiling at the little girl, she reached her dripping brush forward and painted the palms of her hands, initiating a new round of excited trilling.

"Heheh, I can tell you're going to be trouble, Miss Ari," Sabine scolded, unable to help her smile. "Tristan used to get into my paints, too...if I didn't watch him. But I guess he's the reason you've got such a good babysitter now," she told the kit, her mind wandering for several moments as her thoughts drifted back to her brother. How many years had it been since she'd seen him? Had he gotten taller? Did he still think about his big sister?

Slowly shaking off the thoughts that could bring her nothing but pain, Sabine refocused her attention on Arkalia just in time to watch her press her tiny painted hands against her blanket, leaving a series of adorable little four-fingered handprints scattered along the white fabric.

Sabine laughed as she watched the kit roll over again, trilling happily. "Okay, maybe white wasn't the best choice," she conceded, relieved that Hera had at least let her get the baby-safe paint set. Arkalia could _swallow_ a jar of the stuff and it wouldn't matter.

Except...looking at the messy crawl of the kit's tiny handprints across the blanket, the young artist was suddenly struck with an image of the _exact_ design she wanted. She _knew_ how she was going to paint the cradle. Immediately mixing herself a lighter shade of purple, she set to work painting the base coat.

She worked tirelessly on her new piece for about an hour or so before deciding it was ready for the finishing touches.

"Ready to help me out one more time, Ari?" she asked as she scooped up the baby girl, lifting her brush one last time to paint the kit's hands. Then she carried her to the cradle, showing her the main body of it that had been painted to match the patterning of Zeb's fur. Recognizing it, Arkalia cooed eagerly and reached out her hands for it, placing them directly on the front of the bassinet and leaving a pair of dark purple hand prints behind when Sabine swiftly whisked her away.

"Geh, geh, geh!" the kit protested, continuing to reach out for the familiar patterns on the cradle.

"Geh? I know, everyone's a critic," Sabine said with a small laugh as she resettled the baby in her arms, making sure she was sitting comfortably on one arm while holding her against her chest with the other.

"Hey, Sabine? You awake?" Ezra's voice suddenly sounded from the other side of the door.

"Yeah. Come on in," she called back. When the door slid open with its usual mechanical hiss, it was to admit the Jedi padawan with a fresh bottle and a plate of toast.

"Sorry to barge in. It's just getting a little past breakfast. Rex mentioned you were in earlier, but I figured you might still be hungry if you were working on something new."

"Oh, wow. Thanks," she said, eyeing the plate hungrily for a moment before offering Arkalia to Ezra. "Think you can take her?"

Ezra looked worried for a moment, but he ultimately smiled down at the kit and nodded. "Sure. No problem. Hey, kitten. You're just a complete mess, aren't you," he teased as he swapped the plate he was carrying for the baby.

"Guess so, but she sure had fun doing it," Sabine said as she shoved a whole piece of toast in her mouth.

"What about you? You hungry?" Ezra asked as he tried to offer her the bottle, which Arkalia flatly refused, reaching her hands back toward the cradle instead. When Ezra finally realized what it was he was looking at on the cradle, he may or may not have felt his heart melt a little. "Sabine, is...is that..."

"Yup. Just finished," she declared proudly.

"Okay, what's going on back here?" Kanan's voice suddenly interrupted as he, Hera, and Rex appeared in the doorway. "That mental squeak was loud enough to trip sensors."

"You have a mental squeak?" Sabine asked Ezra, raising an amused eyebrow at him.

"What do you want? That's adorable," the young Jedi exclaimed in exasperation. "I reserve the right to squeak as much as I want and not be thought any less manly for it."

"Not sure how the words 'manly' and 'squeak' manage to wind up in the same sentence, but this is Ezra we're talkin' about here," Zeb added, he and Kallus making an appearance not far behind, but then he actually caught a glimpse of what Ezra was looking at. "Oh...oh..."

"This...this truly is beautiful, Sabine," Hera complimented.

"Does- someone feel up to explaining to the blind guy what we're all looking at?" Kanan finally asked, shrugging helplessly

"Absolutely," Sabine started in excitement, coming forward to lead the knight over to the cradle, even though it wasn't strictly necessary. "I painted Arkalia's cradle with something from each of us. Here," she began to explain, taking his hand and guiding it over the lines of the freshly dried paint. "The main body of the cradle's painted to look like Zeb's fur. I painted the support struts to look like Chopper's treads. And then up here, beside the first carrier handle, I painted my starbird. Over on the other side is a loth cat for Ezra. Then up on the shell part of the bassinet, I painted the patterns on Hera's lekku around the frame, and around the back of it, I've got a chevron pattern like on Ahsoka's lekku. Then up at the top of the shell, I've got two echoed pairs of jaig eyes, green for you and blue for Rex. Right up front are Arkalia's handprints, but I wouldn't touch those just yet. They're not completely dry."

"The whole family," Kanan said quietly, running his fingers first over the lines of the jaig eyes, then down onto the pattern of Hera's lekku.

"Hey, Sabine?" Zeb suddenly asked her. "You didn't manage to get anything from Alex in there, did you?"

"Of course I did. What? Did you think I was going to leave you out? Come here," she said, waving the former Imperial over. "You're the star attraction, Kallus."

"I...I'm afraid I don't see what you-" he started as he moved closer, but was soon silenced when Sabine showed him what was _inside_ the cradle.

Painted on the underside of the shell was the Fulcrum symbol.

"Right over her head, keeping watch...keeping her safe," Sabine promised.

She couldn't at first identify the look in Kallus' eyes. Initially, he just looked shocked – overwhelmed, maybe? But that gradually shifted to something like amazement – amazement and happiness and gratitude. For a moment, she was half left wondering if the former Imperial might actually _hug_ her. But if he'd intended to, he didn't get the chance, because Zeb was suddenly right there, lifting her up and half-crushing her in a bruising embrace.

"Thank you, Sabine," the Lasat said softly. "Thank you for this."

"Yeah, I know you're happy, Zeb, but you don't have to break my spine to prove it," the young artist choked out, only partly teasing at that point.

"Oh, right. Sorry," he mumbled out apologetically as he set her back down. "But really...thank you."

"Zeb speaks for me, as well," Kallus said, his smile almost shy as he moved in to stand beside the Lasat, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Think maybe the little nipper might wanna try the thing out?" Rex suggested with a distant smile.

"Actually, she's completely filthy. I think she might wanna get clean first," Ezra suggested as he slipped out of the room with Arkalia still in hand. "I'm gonna go ahead and take her down to the river."

"Ezra Bridger, don't you dare. That water's probably filthy," Hera started, but Kanan soon interrupted her with a hand on her shoulder.

"Yeah, I don't think this is really about a bath. Just let him spend some time alone with her."

Ezra didn't hear any of the exchange, as he was already halfway out of the _Ghost_ before Hera had even finished speaking. But Arkalia was still a bit fussy, trying to reach past the young Jedi.

"Hey, it's okay," Ezra soothed her as they headed out into the midmorning sunlight. "I know you haven't really warmed up to me yet, but give me a chance. I think you'll like this."

Ezra carried the kit right down to the river the _Ghost_ had parked beside. He took a moment to unbelt his lightsaber, but then, clothes, boots, and all, he walked directly into the water, sitting down in the shallows. Then he shifted Arkalia so he was holding her in one arm, leaving his other hand free to reach down and scoop up a small handful of water.

"Here. Look at this," he cooed down at her, letting the water run through his fingers and down onto her feet.

"Ah. Ah. Ooo," Arkalia cooed in amazement, the tiny pads of her toes reaching to try and grasp at the shimmery droplets of water as they rolled away from her, back into the river. Once Ezra saw that she was enjoying it, he slowly started to settle her into the water, first letting her kick her feet around in it in excitement at the new sensation.

Once she was used to it, he situated her comfortably in his lap so she could splash around. All he really needed to do was make sure she didn't fall over.

"See? It's fun, yeah?" he said as he started to scrub the paint from her fur, watching in amusement as she splashed her little hands and feet in the water.

Arkalia trilled her agreement, giggling with every splash.

"I told you," he said with a small chuckle of his own. "Us orphans gotta stick together, after all."

For several minutes after that, he didn't speak, just continued to clean the kit's fur while she had her fun. When he did speak again, it was with a sort of confused longing.

"Y'know, I'm honestly not sure which of us is better off. You, because you'll never really know who your parents were, so you won't be able to miss them...or me...because I did have the chance to know my parents...to love them. I guess I sometimes wonder if things would be easier if I _hadn't_ known them...if I'd been on my own earlier. But I guess I'd still wonder about them," he said quietly, his words counterpointed by the easy melody of the baby Lasat's burbling. "Heh, maybe neither's better or worse...missing what you _know_ you've lost or just _not_ knowing. Just...different. But hey, it doesn't matter now, does it," he conceded, smiling sadly as he shook off the dark thoughts, shifting his hand to fluff the fur behind Arkalia's ears.

The kit giggled at the sensation, splashing a little bit harder. Then Ezra heard her give a curious purr as her foot closed around something stuck in the riverbed. By the time she'd managed to wrest it from the sediment, most of the mud had been washed away, revealing an oblong stone that had been worn smooth by the river's currents. It was large enough that she was barely able to hold it with one foot, so he wasn't all that worried when she brought it to her mouth to chew on experimentally. At least she couldn't choke on it. Some niggling part of his brain suggested that it _might_ not be a good idea to let her just chew on things she found in riverbeds, that the rest of the crew would heartily disapprove, but he honestly didn't see the problem since all the mud had been washed clean.

Once Arkalia had decided she couldn't eat the stone, she lifted her treasure over her head for Ezra to see. In his mind, he could just about hear her declaring, _'Look what I found!'_.

The young Jedi laughed as he plucked the newly cleaned kit from the water, cuddling her against his chest as he got to his feet. "That's right, Ari. Know why it doesn't matter? Because you are _never_ gonna feel unloved or unwanted. So long as you're with us, I'm gonna be your big brother. I'll always have a toy for you and I'm gonna make sure nothing bad happens to you. Then, when we take you to Lira San, we're gonna find a family for you that _knows_ how special you are. It's gonna be great," he said, nuzzling the top of her head as he started to move through the river's slow-moving current, dancing in the water with the little Lasat.

Arkalia settled easily against his chest, purring in contentment as they danced. They remained like that until Hera came over to call them for lunch, smiling as she watched them.

"You two find something to talk about then?"

"Oh, yeah. Plenty. We have a surprisingly insightful little loth cat on our hands."

XxX

Day three of the crew's impromptu leave time and Rex honestly didn't know that he'd ever been more bored in his relatively short life.

Well, maybe _bored_ wasn't the right word for his current state of mind, but he still _detested_ not having some task or other to occupy his time with.

Back during the Clone Wars, it had been constant warfare, never really much of an opportunity to consider what life was like outside of combat. The years following the fall of the Jedi and his loss of Ahsoka – the siege of Mandalore – those years had been some of his darkest. They'd been turbulent, angry, self-loathing years and the fact that he'd come out alive on the other side of them had been more or less a miracle. Life on Seelos with Gregor and Wolffe had been slower-paced, it was true, but it had still been all about survival. Then had come the Rebellion. Back to the theatre of war, an arena he was familiar with. Back to Ahsoka...and for the first time in his life being able to put a name to what it was he felt for her. It was, he was fairly certain, the only time in his life he'd been truly happy. And then Ahsoka had come to him with one last piece of news.

 _"Rex..."_

 _"Oh...Ahsoka...that's- it's_ _ **wonderful**_ _. How long have you known?"_

 _"Just a few weeks now."_

Then Ahsoka had gone to Malachor.

In hindsight, Rex supposed he should've known better than to trust to happiness. That sort of thing just wasn't _for_ a clone. So he'd let it go. He'd buried himself in the cause of the Rebellion, not leaving himself time to think of Ahsoka and everything that had been lost with her. But now, on _leave_ , with nothing to occupy his thoughts, he found them turning increasingly toward memories that were like unbearably painful knives to what little remained of the heart of him.

Ahsoka's smile...

The whisper of her breath against his neck...

The press of her lekku against his chest as they moved together...

The ringing sound of her rare laughter...

The depthless blue of her eyes...

The wry lift of her smirk after besting an opponent...

The worshipful press of his lips against hers...

The way she'd guided his hands to her body after...

 _"Rex..."_

 _No!_

He was _not_ going to fall apart like this! He'd led soldiers in battle. He'd fought against more enemies than could be named. He'd _survived_. There was no reason he couldn't survive the rest of his time...until he was with her again. Kriff this down time. He could still make himself useful. So he'd assigned himself the task of stripping and cleaning every last piece of munition aboard the _Ghost._

The only thing was that he'd also somehow found himself with the task of watching Arkalia alongside of that.

After forcing Hera down for a much-needed and well-deserved nap, Kanan and Ezra had headed off into the forest on some kind of Jedi exercise. Sabine was currently in her room working on a secret new mural and would've happily watched Arkalia except no one thought it a good idea for the kit to be breathing the fumes from her paint guns for too long. Kallus and Zeb were still within sight of the _Ghost_ , but they were in the middle of a sparring session with their bo-rifles. So, as his own task kept him in one more or less safe spot, the task of Kali-sitting had fallen to him.

The little kit really didn't need much. Strapped into a small bouncy seat, she was kept entertained by a small sea of toys, though her favorite by far were a small rope toy Kallus had woven for her from Allurian grass and the stone she'd found when she'd been out with Ezra the other day. Several of the toys Hera had found for her had already met less than noble fates at the hands of Arkalia's sharpening claws. Thus far, the rock and the the little length of rope were proving the most durable. Checking in on the kit from time to time to make sure she was still doing all right, Rex was able to lose himself in the mindless task of cleaning and maintenance.

At least he was able to until he heard the baby Lasat start to cry in protest. Looking up, he saw that she'd managed to accidentally throw her rock to the edge of the tarp where he was working. Reaching out her hands and making grabbing motions with them, she began to kick her legs, nearly upsetting her seat more than once. Already her cries were growing louder. It wouldn't be long before Zeb or Kallus heard her.

"All right. All right," the old clone conceded, laughing as he retrieved the rock and carried it back to the kit. "Got quite the arm on ya, Miss Kali, but I don't know what you expected to happen when you threw it away yourself."

Arkalia had no answer for him. She just gurgled expectantly as she looked up at him.

"Buh!" she insisted, reaching up for the stone.

"Buh? Is that so? I'm not sure I agree with you," he teased, waving the stone overhead, just out of her reach.

"Buh. Buh! _Buh!_ " she argued, reaching with both hands and both feet now.

"Well, if you must, you must," he said, sitting down beside her as he passed her the river stone, which she happily went back to cutting her milk teeth on.

As he sat beside her, Rex unwittingly allowed his mind to wander again. Not back to Ahsoka, but...

"I guess she would've been born by now," he said in a quiet voice, absently stroking Arkalia's hair. "Couple months younger than you...maybe. I don't know." He also wasn't sure why he always thought 'she' whenever his thoughts strayed in that direction. With how far along Ahsoka had been, it likely wouldn't have been set yet. He was never going to know. But at the same time...he couldn't imagine his Ahsoka with anything but a little girl. "Would'a been just like ya, though. Beautiful little girl."

"Muh, buh, buh," the kit stated matter-of-factly as she looked up at him.

"Yeah. Muh," he said with a nod, thinking for a long moment before finally unstrapping the little Lasat from her seat and picking her up. "You know what, let's go see what your dads are up to."

He wouldn't call the pair that to their _faces_ , of course. Not when they were only knee deep in this whole business. But he surely _hoped_ they would head in that direction when all was said and done. If he had to watch anyone he cared about pass up a chance at family, well...he really might just have to shoot someone.

XxX

"Y'know, you're not half-bad for somebody who's never been formally trained in bo-rifle combat," Zeb told Alex as the former guardsman's latest swing passed directly over his head.

"Says the Lasat warrior I battled to a standstill the very first time we fought each other," Alex threw back at him, retreating instead of engaging in Zeb's next attack.

"I wasn't exactly expecting to face a bo-rifle that day," Zeb pointed out, taking several swings which Alex blocked. "It had been a while."

"Excuses, excuses," Alex teased, shoving Zeb back with a sudden surge of extra force. In his moment of distraction, the former Imperial managed to get in a hit with the electrified tip of his weapon, lowered to a training setting so they could use the rifles to spar with.

On the sidelines, Chopper gave a series of whistles and a few clicks, indicating clearly how the match was going.

Zeb – 3. Alex – 2.

"Oh, you'll pay for that one, you will," Zeb returned, smirking at him as he performed several showy twirls with his electrified weapon.

This time, Chopper's whirrs came in the quick bursts that indicated he was laughing. Zeb growled briefly as he rolled his eyes in exasperation.

"Come on, rust bucket. It's not just fighting. It's an art form."

At this, Alex launched into a series of fierce attacks, forcing Zeb into strictly guarding maneuvers. As their weapons slammed together in a stalemate, he smirked at Zeb from across the locked staffs.

"Keep your eyes on me, Garazeb," he said, both warning him and demanding his attention at the same time. "I'm sure you realize he's just distracting you because he wants _me_ to win."

"Tch. No surprise there. But it's definitely no thing for me to keep my eyes on you," the Lasat _purred_ , returning the smirk through their crossed weapons.

Alex gave a chastising shake of his head. "And now _you're_ trying to distract _me._ " Then he forced Zeb back, quickly rolling to the side after disengaging.

"Well? Is it workin'?" he asked as he pursued Alex's retreat. Alex blocked most of his jabs, but wasn't quite fast enough to stop the last blow to his hip, taking the shock with a small grunt.

Zeb – 4. Alex – 2.

"Perhaps a little," he conceded.

"Gonna have to go all the way then," Zeb said with an inviting growl as he took a swing at Alex's legs, which he just barely managed to avoid.

"I hope you _do,_ " he challenged, his tone remaining confident, even though he could feel his face reddening. "I'd _hate_ to think you're going easy on me just because we're no longer mortal enemies," he said, using his rifle to quickly scale a small scattering of boulders before flipping it to the firing configuration and taking a shot at Zeb, which the Lasat easily avoided – although he wasn't quite fast enough to avoid the next volley.

Zeb – 4. Alex – 3.

Zeb took cover from the rain of fire, but his teasing never let up for a moment. "If you wanted easy, _ni alitha_ , you should'a stayed with the Empire."

Alex laughed as he continued to fire toward the sound of Zeb's voice. "Now you insult me, Captain Orrelios. If things are _so_ easy in the Empire, how is it I devised a fighting style to service a bo-rifle when no formal training was available?"

"Oh, that wasn't the Empire, love," Zeb's voice sounded from the opposite end of his cover. "I'm pretty sure that was all you."

"Then what is it you think you have to teach me?" Alex asked as he took a few steps back, waiting for the opportunity to take his next shot, but also prepared to drop down for cover if need be. For once, Zeb had fallen silent.

"This," the quiet whisper of the Lasat's voice sounded directly behind him, causing the former Imperial to yelp as he spun around to face his opponent. He was certain Zeb would've taken a swing at him were it not for the fact that he lost his footing and began to tumble from the boulder.

"Whoa! _Hey!_ " Zeb shouted, quickly going after him, just barely managing to grab his hand. Clinging tightly to that four-fingered grip, Alex braced his feet against the rock face, suspended between standing and falling. When he looked up at Zeb, it was to see him offering up a smile that was both relieved and teasing. "Close one, that."

"How did you _do_ that?" he demanded, for the moment not caring that he was still suspended above a potentially bad fall. Zeb grinned as he held up the clawed fingers of his free hand.

"Can't nothin' beat these little beauties as far as stealthy movement goes."

"I'm quite certain that's cheating."

"Oh? So I shouldn't be usin' 'em then? Would you like me to let _go?_ " Zeb teased.

Alex couldn't quite help the new smile that moved across his face as he looked up at Zeb. "You never would," he said with total certainty.

"You're right," Zeb started, the besotted smile on his face matching the one on his own. "I wouldn't – but this match also ain't over yet," he said before pulling Alex back up onto the boulder with him while pulling his bo-rifle off his back in nearly the same motion, deploying it to the bo-staff configuration and using it to pin the former Imperial against his chest.

Alex immediately felt his face go bright red at the sudden intimate press of their bodies. In most other situations, his brain might have overloaded and shut down as well, but this was a combat situation. Instinct took over and led him to deliver a small jab to Zeb's side, feeling the minuscule electric current tinge along his own skin before the Lasat could release him. As he scuttled down off the boulder, he heard Chopper's count.

Zeb – 4. Alex – 4.

"Nice save," Zeb complimented, having no trouble just jumping down from the full height of the boulder and landing in a crouch.

"I can't- really take credit for that one. It was dumb luck," he replied, breathing heavily as his eyes swept the lines of Zeb's body.

This was it – the trouble with every single match they'd fought since his first one as Fulcrum...back on Lothal. Was Zeb _honestly_ not having as much trouble as he was concentrating, or was he simply better at hiding it? Either way, he was not about to throw this match over his own undisciplined body. When Zeb came at him, he was ready, even _growling_ a little.

One more hit. This match could go to either of them.

As annoyed as he was with himself, he had to admit that crossing staffs with Zeb was _still_ exhilarating. He could feel the excitement in Zeb's expression mirrored in his own every time they clashed. As they moved together, back and forth across the rocky terrain, it was easy to get lost in the dance of it.

Right up until the moment Chopper gave several uncomfortably low whirs and suspiciously timed taps that could only be interpreted as, 'Would you two kriff-witted meatbags just kriffing _do each other already?!_ '

And that was a little too much for even Alexsandr Kallus' supreme Imperial-ingrained calm to stand against. Brain going to full stop, he had zero chance to defend against Zeb's latest strike. He was both stung by the training shock and knocked off his feet by the force of the staff.

And as he went down, all his mind seemed capable of containing were thoughts of that fight on Lothal.

 _Let's give 'em a show then._

X

 _It was foolish._

 _Every single time the Spectres returned to Lothal, it was an exercise in utter idiocy, but there always seemed to be_ _ **some reason**_ _they needed to come back. This time it was about rescuing a defector's son from the Lothal Academy. Ezra and Chopper had gotten clear with the boy, but Zeb, Sabine, and Kanan had become trapped on the wrong side of a sealed security door and promptly been separated from each other._

 _Zeb and Sabine had managed to stick together, but Kanan was at the other end of the compound, fighting his way through squad after squad of troopers. Kallus had managed to surreptitiously lead Zeb to an emergency hangar where the security system was conveniently down for repairs. Now it was just a matter of waiting for Kanan to make an appearance._

 _"Zeb, I'm still not sure this is a good idea," Sabine murmured to the Lasat as if Kallus wasn't sitting right there with them, trying to stay out of sight. "He could still be trying to set us up."_

 _Zeb groaned in frustration. Even with the code phrase, Sabine Wren was not so quick to trust him. Wise as the former Imperial considered her skepticism, this wasn't exactly the place for mistrust._

 _"Sabine, I'm only gonna ask you this once, so I hope you think real careful about your answer. Do you_ _ **trust**_ _me?" the Lasat asked his younger companion, and she did consider it a long moment before responding._

 _"Yes."_

 _"Then you trust him, too. I get that it's hard, but there aren't a lot of people in the galaxy I trust as much as I trust_ _ **him.**_ _You can believe in that," Zeb promised her, and even though the words were not specifically directed at him, Kallus felt a strange fluttering sensation in his chest to hear them spoken._

 _"All right. I'll go along with this, but you and I need to have a_ _ **long talk**_ _when this is all over."_

 _"More than one, I imagine," Kallus put in. "We won't have very long once Jarrus gets here."_

 _"Kal, we've talked about that," Zeb scolded mildly._

 _Kallus rolled his eyes, but the corners of his mouth did lift up in a small smile. "All right, fine. Kanan. Once_ _ **Kanan**_ _gets here. Are you happy now?"_

 _"Gettin' there," Zeb snarked._

 _Kallus would have said more, except that was the moment the hangar's security doors slid open. Only it wasn't Kanan Jarrus who came through._

 _It was Grand Admiral Thrawn, Governor Pryce, and a fresh squad of stormtroopers._

 _"Karabast," Zeb snarled under his breath._

 _"Haran, Zeb, I_ _ **told**_ _you!" Sabine hissed. "He set us up."_

 _"What're we lookin' at?" Zeb asked him, not even dignifying the Mandalorian's accusation with a response._

 _"It's Thrawn," he hissed back._

 _"The grand admiral bloke? The one Hera told us about from Ryloth?"_

 _"The same. We might've pulled one over on Pryce, but- it will be_ _ **exceedingly**_ _difficult to deceive Thrawn."_

 _"Well...let's give 'em a show then," Zeb declared with a dangerous grin._

 _"_ _ **What?**_ _" he hissed back at the former guardsman._

 _"You can't exactly let us walk out, so we're gonna have to fight our way out. Through you. It's the only way we're gonna buy Kanan enough time to get here," Zeb told him, shifting his rifle to the bo-staff configuration, but not yet igniting it. "Come on. We can do it...you and me."_

 _Kallus wanted to protest, wanted to point out all the ways this could go wrong, but with Zeb grinning at him like that, eyes so full of eager trust and excited amusement, he just couldn't refuse him. Returning the smile with a small but sure one of his own, he nodded as he allowed his own weapon to hum to life, making sure to keep the setting low._

 _"You and me."_

 _"Don't hold back," Zeb warned him before delivering a hard blow to his gut, sending him flying into the view of the Imperials._

 _"Agent Kallus," Pryce exclaimed in mild surprise._

 _"Watch out!" Kallus warned as Zeb jumped up on the crates they'd been hiding behind. "I caught one of them trying to escape this way."_

 _"Ah, the Lasat," the grand admiral said in a tone that could only be described as vaguely interested. "Garazeb Orrelios, I believe it was."_

 _"Better keep my name off those ugly blue lips,_ _ **Grand Admiral,**_ _" Zeb mocked, "or I won't just kill your boy there."_

 _"Troopers, concentrate your fire-" Pryce started to command, but was quickly interrupted by Kallus._

 _"NO! Don't," Kallus hissed as he climbed back to his feet, extending his bo-rifle toward his one time enemy. "This one is_ _ **mine.**_ _"_

 _"Oh, yeah? We'll just see about that," Zeb said, letting out an angry battle roar before springing at Kallus, the strength of his attack actually forcing him back to his knees._

 _"Honestly, I don't see why we need to allow this," Pryce snapped. "This..._ _ **non-human**_ _is easy prey."_

 _"I, for one, would like this opportunity to observe a match," the Chiss said in a neutral tone. "The Lasat were a warrior race and they made much of their honor in combat, as I recall. Truly, this is an educational opportunity not to be missed."_

 _If either of them said more, Kallus didn't hear it. He'd already become too caught up in the constant give and take between Zeb and himself_ – _the endless whirl of their bo-rifles as they blocked each other's strikes, seeming evenly matched._

 _ **Taunts, insults,**_ _ **something**_ _ **,**_ _Kallus thought vaguely as he leaped over one of Zeb's lower strikes._ _ **We're supposed to hate each other. We can't just fight in silence like this.**_

 _"You never know when to give up, do you?" he snarled, defaulting to an old classic of theirs. The moment of amusement in Zeb's sneer told him he recognized it._

 _"Never," the Lasat fired back before delivering an overhead swing. Kallus bent backward at the waist to allow it to pass harmlessly just above his face. In the scant moments of the following motion, he maneuvered his weapon to deliver a jab to Zeb's side. The Lasat gave a not entirely exaggerated roar of pain._

 _"Perhaps you ought to_ _ **learn,**_ _" he returned with a fierce sneer of his own, imagining that the expression looked to anyone else like anger._

 _When Zeb moved back to meet him, their bo-rifles locked together in an electrified clash of noise, heat, and light. It took every bit of energy he had to maintain the deadlock and he couldn't have been more exhilarated, despite their peril._

 _"Sorry, Kallus, but I've always been a pretty bad student," Zeb near-_ _ **purred**_ _to him through their crossed rifles, sending a jolt of a different sort down his spine. "Might be able to learn_ _ **you**_ _a few things, though."_

 _That one left Kallus with little choice but to disengage, breathing heavily as he pulled back from Zeb. Quite suddenly, every single one of his senses had been magnified, all of them in some way focused on the Lasat_ – t _he musky scent of him he'd noticed before, now tinged with exertion...the sound of their joined heavy breathing roaring in his ears...the minute tremble of his powerful frame as they circled each other...the taste of salt on his own lips and the suddenly agonizing feel of each droplet of sweat trickling down his skin beneath the oppressive cling of his uniform. He was aware of their proximity in a way he never had been before. All in a moment, this had become a completely different battle for him._

 _"You?" he demanded with an uncomfortably high laugh, giving his weapon a spin just for the show of it. "What could you_ _ **possibly**_ _have to teach me?"_

 _"Sure you wanna know that?" Zeb asked before rolling to jump atop another of the crates, quickly flipping to the firing configuration and taking a few wide shots to just barely miss hitting him._

 _"Certainly, Lasat," he snapped back, throwing his arms wide as if in a gesture of foolhardy challenge. "Here I am._ _ **Teach**_ _me," he growled, feeling the different air of the conversation they were_ _ **actually**_ _having._

 _Zeb smirked at him as he dropped low into a springing position. "Oh, you don't know what you're askin' for."_

 _ **No!**_ _his brain shouted at him._ _ **This is too much. Thrawn will see. He'll**_ _ **know**_ _ **.**_

 _"Well, I suppose since there's no one_ _ **else**_ _left to teach me," he threw out, feeling sick to his stomach as he spat out the ugly words. He could almost taste the ash on his tongue. He only_ _ **prayed**_ _Zeb understood why he_ _ **had**_ _to._

 _If nothing else, though, Zeb seemed to take his cue from the fabricated taunt, giving a roar of rage before launching into a berserker charge at Kallus, battling him until he'd maneuvered him up against the hangar wall, keeping him pinned in place with the deadly lock of their bo-rifles._

 _"You wanna learn so bad," the Lasat snarled at him, though there was a brief flicker in his expression, the ghost of a reassuring smile, that let Kallus know this was still just an act. "Then I'll_ _ **teach**_ _you. I'll teach you how my people felt when they_ _ **died!**_ _"_

 _As Zeb spoke, he used the deadlock to keep Kallus pinned, straining to reach the electrified tip of his own weapon across the space between them, their bodies so close to touching it was_ _ **unbearable**_ _. When the tip finally touched his body, inspiring no more than the faintest of jolts through his system, Kallus couldn't quite help how he threw his head back against the wall, a strangled cry escaping his lips that really could have been either pain or pleasure. Stars help him, but he could feel the Lasat's warm breath just against his neck._

 _He was_ _ **kriffed.**_ _He was so spectacularly kriffed it was almost laughable. He actually felt himself go weak in the knees as Zeb leaned closer and closer to him._

 _"Ah..._ _ **ah,**_ _" he whimpered helplessly when the bo-rifle was finally withdrawn. He didn't_ _ **want**_ _to know what the expression on his face must look like._

 _"Had enough?" Zeb whispered in his ear, his voice somehow managing to be both threatening and inviting all in the same breath._

 _It was a relief that Kanan showed up when he did, because Kallus honestly wasn't sure what he might've done. When the room erupted in the hum of a lightsaber and the screech of blaster fire, Zeb shoved the double agent's bo-rifle aside before leaning in close to him, nothing separating them now._

 _"You all right?" he whispered in his ear._

 _Nodding, Kallus only just manage to pant out, "Go...go...get out."_

 _"Kal-"_

 _"_ _ **Go**_ _," he pleaded._

 _"F- fine," Zeb stuttered out. "Next time."_

 _"Next time," he agreed. It was no great feat of acting for him to slide to the floor when Zeb finally released him. The last sight he had of him was the Lasat's confused and worried face before it was swallowed up by the boarding ramp of their escaping emergency response shuttle. And once again, Zeb was gone from him, in his life for only those brief, brilliant flashes of light_ – _only for him to fall back into darkness when they were over._

 _They both knew that something was different between them. Something had changed during that fight. He just couldn't put a name to it._

 _Either that...or he didn't_ _ **want**_ _to. Things with Zeb were already so confusing? Did he really need to make them_ _ **more**_ _confusing._

 _ **No. The best thing you can do for him is to continue this fight. What**_ _ **you**_ _ **feel doesn't matter.**_

X

"Alex? _Alex!_ " Zeb's worried snarl came to him through a daze of pain. Blinking his eyes open, he gradually began to see the Lasat's features swimming into view.

"Zeb?"

"You all right?" Zeb asked him as he helpedhim sit up.

"I think so. I remember...Chopper...and you. What- what _happened?_ "

"Lucky hit combined with a bad fall," Rex explained, drawing Alex's gaze over to him, Arkalia, and Chopper."That conk with the ground knocked you stone cold for a few minutes there."

Chopper chimed in with a solid minute of beeps, followed by several spins.

" _Chopper_ ," Zeb growled at the droid, "I'm going to take you apart tonight and throw the parts out the airlock. I don't care what Hera does to me."

"How's your head?" Rex asked him, bouncing an insistent Arkalia up and down in his arms.

"Still a little dazed...but I'm sure it will be fine," he said, placing a hand on Zeb's shoulder to use as leverage to get himself back on his feet.

"Alex-"

Zeb didn't really need to continue, as the former Imperial was already weaving on his feet the moment he was on them. Zeb was instantly there to support him.

"Maybe you'd better get him back on board," Rex told the Lasat. "Get him resting. I'll watch the little nipper."

"Thanks, Rex," Zeb said before leading Alex back onto the ship, to their bunk, and down onto their bed.

Before Zeb could pull back from him, though, Alex was pulling him into a deep kiss, wrapping both arms around him to keep him there with him. Zeb groaned into the kiss, the low rumbling in his chest unimaginably pleasing to the former Imperial, but when he managed to put the sound together with the actual tone of the Lasat's voice, he realized there was an air of frustration in it.

"What- what's wrong?" he asked as he collapsed clumsily back on the bed.

"What's wrong is that I generally like it to be about _me_ when you kiss me like that. Not about somethin' some deranged murder bot said," Zeb said with a small glare.

"This...this isn't-"

"Don't even try it, Kal. You'll just damage your brain worse tryin' to lie. Now I know what Chopper said, but it's gotta be more than that to have you react like that. So what's eatin' you?" the Lasat asked as he sat down beside him on the bed.

"Well...most of your crew seems to think we are _already_ sleeping together."

Zeb shrugged. "Dunno when we _would_ have. We've got kind of an erratic schedule."

"I just- don't see why we shouldn't be making that happen. Unless of course you...you don't want-"

"Stop right there, Alex," the former guardsman said with an air of warning. "I don't want you thinkin' for one _second_ I don't want you. Karabast, I'd crawl over broken glass just to _have_ you...but you have this thing you do where you lie to me about what you're feelin' or what you need."

"I...I..."

"Yeah, you can't even argue that one, can you. The point is I want you to be able to ask me for the things you want. I want you to feel like the things you want _matter._ "

Alex sighed as he ran a hand over his face. "Don't tell me. You've been talking to Kanan."

"Not really, no. I can just read you a little better than you seem to give me credit for. I get that you want this. I can smell it on you, and you have _no idea_ what that does to me, but...I can see it in your eyes, too. It's not about what _you_ want. It's about what you think _I_ want...what everyone else thinks...everythin' except _you._ So _when_ you and I take to bed, it's gonna be about _you_ and _me_ and nothin' else. So I'm gonna ask you, Alex...what do _you want?_ What do you want _right now?_ "

Alex found himself at a bit of a loss as he looked up at Zeb, because while he knew what he wanted from the Lasat, there was also a voice at the back of his mind that sounded suspiciously like the mercenary from his nightmares.

 _Weak. You're so_ _ **weak.**_

But he couldn't let that nightmare win. So, reaching out for Zeb's hand and pulling it close to him, he spoke only two words.

"Hold me?"

That, Zeb was only too happy to do, purring soothingly as he gathered Alex in his arms. Neither of them said anything, just curled up together on that small bottom bunk, holding tightly to each other, occasionally sharing little kisses, but mostly just breathing each other in.

They didn't stir from the bed until the sounds of a squalling Arkalia being carried aboard the _Ghost_ drew them out of the sort of trance they'd fallen into, smiling at each other and sharing one last kiss before going to see what the problem was.

XxX

(A/N) Okie doke, couple notes this time around. The song I used in this chapter is 'Love Survives' from All Dogs Go to Heaven. We'll probably see more of that one in the future.

So...don't quote me on these Mando'a translations. They're probably wrong. I just tried to piece together phrases I couldn't find exacts for. So here's what it's _meant_ to be:

 _Gar jahaala_ \- Are you all right? (lit. Are you well?)

 _Lek_ \- Yeah

 _Ni slanar at ner cyar'ika_ \- I am with my beloved. (lit. I go to my darling.)

 _Ni...Ni shi...Ni or'trikar par kaysh_ \- I...I just...I grieve for her. (lit. I am in sorrow for her)

 _Vor entye -_ Thank you (lit. I recognize a debt)

If anybody happens to know better, do please let me know. Hopefully, I don't keep you waiting for the next chapter too long. This one was a little bit later than I wanted because I was marching in my first Pride parade this week. :)


	5. Let Me Be Your Shelter

(A/N) Wow, so sorry for the delay on this latest chapter. I just had a Voltron fic that needed some love. Heheh. And gosh darn it all, but this first scene with Kanan and Arkalia was supposed to be more fluff, but..well...then Force shenanigans happened. Hopefully, you enjoy those shenanigans.

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 5: Let Me Be Your Shelter_

Kanan wasn't completely certain what it was that woke him from his sleep, but he'd learned long ago not to ignore those probably nothings and not completely certains. So he rose and dressed for the day, venturing out among the crew quarters to see if he could pinpoint what it was that was nagging at his brain.

Things had actually been much more peaceful aboard the _Ghost_ these last few days. Though Arkalia's presence had stirred up some painful but beautiful memories for Sabine, Ezra, and Hera, they were nothing but enchanted by the little kit. She'd even begun to ease some of Rex's hurt, and had finally confirmed for the Jedi what he'd been uncertain of ever since Malachor _–_ that the clone _had_ been aware of Ahsoka's pregnancy.

Kanan had been aware of it almost as soon as Ahsoka herself had been, but he'd never had the chance to ask the former Fulcrum if she'd been able to tell Rex about it. Everything had been chaos and confusion and pain after Malachor and he'd been too caught up in his own hurt, in _Ezra's_ hurt, to try and untangle Rex's grief as well. He'd only known that it had been deep – deep and rending and crushing...a grief that would've destroyed a lesser being. A grief he could hardly bear to imagine himself enduring. He hadn't _wanted_ to know if it was simply grief for his lover...or grief for both her _and_ the child. If Rex hadn't known, if he'd grieved only for Ahsoka, how much more terrible would his grief have become if he were to learn what he'd lost on Malachor? Kanan hadn't wanted to do that to his friend, not if he could help it. So he'd waited patiently for some indicator, and that had come in the form of the baby Lasat. The sense of longing he felt from Rex told him the former trooper was grieving for what had never been – for what Arkalia represented for him. As painful as it was, though, she was helping him heal.

Then there were their two newly weds – Alexsandr Kallus and Garazeb Orrelios. Though Kallus still had some very ugly stuff bleeding from his psyche and he hadn't fully opened up to Zeb, there was still something inside of him that was beginning to unclench, to ease and maybe finally allow him to come to terms with whatever it was that was gnawing at him. Kallus was coping, and though it might not all happen at once, he was still in a much better place than he had been that first day. If anything, it was _Zeb_ Kanan found himself beginning to worry about. He was still exuding the same worry he'd given voice to back on Telos – the fear of what would happen if any of this went wrong. For Kallus' sake, he kept that fear hidden, but it was still _there_ , quietly chipping away at something painful inside the Lasat warrior. Kanan knew very well that Zeb was serious about Alexsandr, but Arkalia...she was an unknown factor.

But none of that inner turmoil was present at the surface as they slept. No. It wasn't any of that which had called him from his sleep. It was something much simpler than that.

Arkalia was awake.

Quietly entering Sabine's quarters, Kanan made his way over to the corner where he knew the bassinet was situated, zeroing in on the sound of Arkalia cooing a little morning song. So far as he could tell, Sabine was still asleep, so the kit hadn't managed to wake her yet. Plucking the little Lasat gently from her cradle, he slipped his mask off and left it in her place to let the others know she was with him. He had a feeling she and him had a long trip ahead of them today.

"The Force is a little bit prickly this morning. So what do you say? Wanna go on an adventure?" he asked her, grabbing the carrier they'd gotten for her on the way out of Sabine's room and bringing it with them to the galley. Arkalia burbled sweetly the whole way.

"Ahm, muh, muh. MlaaaAAAR," she squealed, the sound eventually shifting into a purr. Kanan laughed quietly, tickling her under the chin before securing her in the carrier so he could get everything ready.

"Yeah, I don't know what that means, kitten, but you can keep talking," he said, going through the steps Hera had walked him through to prepare a bottle for her. She didn't seem to be hungry yet, but he knew he wouldn't want to be without the milk later. For himself, he just grabbed a few ration bars.

"She'll keep talkin', whether you want her to or not," Rex's voice entered the galley. "I've found it's best to just pretend you know what's goin' on."

The Jedi gave a helpless sigh as he headed over to the clone and the kit. "Well, that strategy's been serving me pretty well the last seventeen years. I suppose it's a...passable approach to raising a child," he said, depositing the bottle and ration bars in the carrier's side pouch. The comment drew a loud guffaw from the old clone.

"I can name a few folks right here shipboard would _heartily_ disagree with that statement, but far be it from me to question a Jedi, even on such unfamiliar territory as _parenting_ ," he said, the pleased trill Arkalia gave telling him that Rex was giving her a stroke behind the ears.

"What? You don't call what we've done with Sabine and Ezra parenting?" he asked in mock insult as he lifted the carrier and settled it securely on his back.

"Okay, granted, but this _is_ still a little different. Heading out on another life-changing Jedi field trip?" the old soldier asked, following them from the galley and down to the ramp.

"That's the notion. I don't know where we're heading yet, but something's insisting we head out, so...see you tonight...most likely," Kanan said with a nod as he started down the ramp.

"All you got's one bottle and one spare diaper in that pack? Yeah, you'll be back _long_ before nightfall," Rex said with another laugh. "But we have been goin' through that bantha store like nobody's business. Maybe keep your nose to the ground for some fresh meat?"

"Rex," he called over his shoulder, "I am heeding the call of the Force. This is an important spiritual journey. I am _not_ going on a food run."

"So you'll let us know if you need help with the groceries then?"

Kanan shook his head as he walked, grinning as he gave a pained sigh. "I will do that."

"Buh, buh, ra!" Arkalia babbled, the motion of her small body against his back telling him she was waving to Rex.

"Buh-bye, Miss Kali," the clone called to her. "Keep our Jedi out of trouble out there!"

"Ma ba!" the baby Lasat sang for all the world to hear.

"Fierce little Lasat warrior," Kanan agreed with a nod. "But you just remember, little guardling, I can't see you. I am therefore completely immune to all of your adorable charms."

"La la la ly la," Arkalia giggled in a perfectly darling tone that completely belied everything he'd said.

"Well, I'm doomed," he said with an accepting nod as they walked into the forest.

For a long while, they just strolled through the trees, Kanan talking about nothing while Arkalia babbled her responses as if she understood any of it. He'd gotten the layout of the forest pretty well when he and Ezra had entered the other day and there had been no real danger either of them could sense. He wasn't really certain what it was the Force was pushing him toward, but there was _something_ here he was supposed to find and it somehow involved Arkalia. The _last_ thing he wanted to do was ignore it.

By his own count, it was about midmorning when the little girl started to get fussy. Figuring she just wanted her breakfast, Kanan came to a stop near a larger tree, sitting down at its base and setting the carrier next to him, lifting Arkalia into his arms, he retrieved her bottle from the carrier and began to feed her.

"So Ari," he started, bouncing the kit lightly as she suckled voraciously at her bottle, "feel up to telling me why it is my best friend's so scared over a little thing like you?"

 _Size matters not,_ Master Yoda's voice sounded faintly at the back of his mind. And it was true. It hardly mattered how small or insignificant Arkalia _appeared_ to be. If she represented something in Zeb's heart, as she did in Rex's, then that little thing could suddenly become _everything_. So what did she represent? Zeb's people? His family? His inability to protect them? Survivor's guilt was a deep hole to climb out of. Kanan Jarrus knew it only too well. _Caleb Dume_ knew it only too well. Even Garazeb Orrelios, who constantly insisted he'd moved on, hadn't managed it completely.

Only...Kanan found himself thinking that this wasn't just a matter of simple survivor's guilt. There was more to it. It wasn't guilt Zeb was focusing on Arkalia – not in the same way Kallus was, at least.

No.

It was fear.

Fear of pain. Fear of _loss_. Not just of what Kallus might lose, but of what Zeb himself might lose. The more there was to gain, the more there was to _lose_. And he also knew that, in a way, he'd been struggling with that very notion almost from the moment he'd joined up with Hera.

"Well, that's...enlightening. You know, you're very articulate for a kid who can't actually talk," he told the kit, who cooed sweetly in response as she shoved her bottle away.

This wasn't it, though. At least...not this alone. There was something more he needed to learn out here.

But what?

That answer started to come to him when he reached to place the bottle back in the carrier and suddenly found a section of the tree trunk behind him giving way, sending them both tumbling backward and down.

Normally, avoiding such an obvious fall would've been easy for him, but he was a little too focused on protecting Arkalia to worry about stopping the fall. Instead, he curled his body tightly around hers to shield her from any harm, sensing any eminent danger to her and taking it onto himself. He felt quite a few sharp jabs to his body as he impacted with several tree roots. When he finally hit the ground some five meters down, it was with a single pained grunt. That was going to leave more than a few marks.

"Ari," he groaned as he uncurled from around her, just lying there on the cave floor for a moment, "you all right?"

The kit gave several indignant cries, as if she were _going_ to burst into tears, but the dam never quite burst. Instead, she went back to cooing, curling all four of her tiny paws into the fabric of his shirt and clinging tightly to him while she nuzzled her face into his chest. Sighing in relief, he slowly started to sit up, returning Arkalia's affection with a gentle nuzzle of his own to the top of her head.

"That's a relief. Zeb and Kallus would've _killed_ me if anything had happened to you. Though...it still might," he said uncertainly, head shifting about to try and get a sense of his surroundings. He really should've sensed a dangerous fall like this. If he hadn't, there was a reason for it.

Whatever had drawn him...it was down here.

Then, as he climbed to his feet, everything became clear.

Literally.

He could _see!_

Only- it wasn't a dank, musty cave like he'd been expecting. He was standing inside the council chamber. In the Jedi Temple. Back on Coruscant.

"W- wha..." he started in shock as he looked around, seeing the nightscape of the city planet spread out all around the temple like an ocean of light.

 _This...this isn't real,_ he had to remind himself as his gaze darted around the chamber. _This is a vision – an echo of what was sent by the Force. The kit in my arms right now... **she** is real._ And he clung even tighter to Arkalia to remind himself of that fact.

At first, he thought the chamber was deserted. But then he gradually began to see the tiny figures of children hiding behind the masters' seats. There were younglings hiding in the council chamber? But why? What was happening?

Then the chamber door slid open and the ricochet of blaster fire off of lightsaber blades echoed into the chamber along with a man in dark robes. Kanan felt a jolt of familiarity, but he couldn't figure out where from. Then he looked into the shadowed eyes beneath the hood and suddenly he understood. The hate, the anger, the _pain_ – this was the Sith lord...from before the mask.

Darth Vader.

 _No. Stars, no, not this. **Anything** but this. This is-_

A lone child emerged from hiding at his entrance, slowly approaching the Sith with a look of fear in his eyes.

"Master Skywalker, there are too many of them," the little one said, his voice thick with fear. "What are we going to do?"

 _Skywalker? Did he say **Skywalker?!** It **can't** be!_

The creeping Sith _creature_ offered no answer, no comfort to the frightened child. His only response was to ignite his blade, its blue glow casting a ghostly pallor upon the youngling's face. Then he raised the lightsaber to strike.

" _No! STOP!_ " Kanan cried out, calling his own blade to his hand. He couldn't endure this. He couldn't just watch this happen. But as he drew his lightsaber to stand against the Sith, the scene changed right before his eyes. He saw his apprentice, bound and disguised as some sort of smuggler, thrown to the floor of an Imperial cell.

"Ezra?" he mumbled in confusion, ignited blade still held at the ready while he held Arkalia close against his chest with his other hand. Then Kallus appeared in the open cell door.

"Leave us," the agent said to someone Kanan couldn't see. "I'll interrogate him myself."

What was this? An act? Or was Kallus not really on their side?

The agent entered the cell with a grim look on his face, but the moment the door had sealed behind him, the expression melted into one of frantic concern.

"Do you _realize_ how _dangerous_ it is for you to _be here?_ If _anyone_ recognizes you-" he started to scold where Kanan could not, undoing Ezra's binders once he'd turned his back to him.

"They won't," Ezra insisted. "You know how big the Empire is? Most troopers don't even know what I look like now," he finished with a casual shrug as he slipped a holo-capture from his clothing, immediately beginning to take images of the bemused agent.

"I hope that's true for _everyone's_ sake. If they- what...Ezra, what are you _doing?_ " Kallus asked him, taking a step back from him in confusion.

"Zeb was demanding visual confirmation that you're still in one piece. I know you guys have talked since Manaan, but you gotta admit, that last sight he had of you was a pretty bad one. I'll be honest, most of us didn't think you were gonna pull through this time," Ezra said, a small spark of worry in his own eyes belying his cavalier attitude.

Kallus rolled his eyes as he sighed. "Your vote of confidence is overwhelming, Ezra Bridger."

"Don't give me that, man. Zeb was really worried about you. He's been tearing his fur out ever since Kanan dragged him back onto the _Ghost_."

Kallus had turned away from Ezra while he'd been talking, so the young Jedi couldn't see his expression, but Kanan had a perfect view of the haunted, sorrowful look in the former Imperial's eyes. He swallowed heavily before responding.

"I know...and I am sorry for his suffering, but there was little I could do. It _had_ to play out as it did or we all would've been done for."

"Yeah, that- that's a conversation I'm just gonna let Zeb have. Trust me, there're a _lot_ of things he's been planning to say to you."

"I don't doubt it, but my response shall be the same as ever it has been."

"Kal," Ezra interrupted in a torn voice, suddenly looking more the child he'd missed out on being and less the man he'd been forced to become, "he hasn't been sleeping. I can't remember the last time I saw him eat."

That got the agent's attention but quick. He turned back to Ezra with a look of naked worry in his eyes.

"What?"

"He's been beating himself up pretty bad over what happened. I think he just needs to see for himself that you're healing all right."

"So...you got captured...to tell me this?" Kallus pressed anxiously, moving a few steps closer once more.

"Bit more than that, actually. It's not your fault. It's really not. Sato gets it. With how bad off you were after Manaan, you probably weren't as careful as you usually are."

"What do- Ezra, what are you _talking_ about?"

"We think the Empire was monitoring your last Fulcrum transmission. They probably haven't pegged you yet, but Command sent me in to get you outta here."

Kallus' initial reaction was a simple widening of the eyes, but then he shook his head, his expression shifting into a strange sort of half-smile. "Well...I suppose I have no choice now. What's our play?"

"Oh, hey, before things get crazy and I forget, have you still got your corder pendant?" Ezra asked as he reached into his clothing once again.

"I- of course. Why?" Kallus asked, reaching into his uniform to draw out a small recorder sphere attached to a slender silver chain around his neck. Ezra grinned as he produced a small storage chip, linking it with the recorder sphere.

"Fresh batch of Ari holos, courtesy of Zeb and Sabine."

Kanan didn't think he could describe the tender smile that transformed the agent's face and still do it justice. It was a look full of love and warmth and joy, and it reminded the Jedi intensely of the kit he still held pressed against his chest, wishing he could speak to Kallus across whatever distance this was and show him the little girl.

"Thank you," Kallus whispered with a nod.

"No problem. She's gonna be happy to see you."

"Open this door!" an annoyed voice suddenly sounded from the other side of the cell door.

"Oops. Time's up. Guess we'll have to plan later," Ezra said as he grabbed Kallus' hand, grinning at him before helping him deliver a fake punch to his jaw. Ezra probably overdid the crash against the opening door. "Stop! I'll tell you anything!"

Before Kanan really had a chance to smirk at Ezra's antics, the scene shifted again. He wasn't sure when he'd deactivated his lightsaber, but it was a struggle not to reignite it – to remind himself that there was nothing he could do to alter the shadows of what he was seeing.

It was a battle. The air was filled with the sounds of explosions, with the hum of bo-rifles and the screeching shred of disruptor fire. It didn't take Kanan long to understand what he was seeing when he realized he was surrounded by Lasat, all of them fleeing Imperial pursuit.

This was the Fall of Lasan.

A sickening arc of green light spread from one of the disruptors with an ugly screech, catching a swath of terrified Lasat in its glow and incinerating them – some more slowly than others.

"COME ON!" a familiar voice shouted over the roar of the panicked mob. "EVERYBODY INSIDE!"

Then, from the mad press of the crowd emerged one Lasat warrior that Kanan knew well.

Garazeb Orrelios. Younger, less haggard, dressed in some sort of ceremonial uniform and valiantly wielding his bo-rifle against his enemies. With an enraged roar, he deftly took out a line of Imperials readying their disruptors for use on the fleeing Lasat.

" _CAPTAIN!_ " a new voice shouted to the guardsman, its owner flying up the steps of the massive building everyone was retreating into. The Lasat woman collapsed at Zeb's feet, her uniform torn, hair in disarray, and her fine fur matted with blood.

"Echari, what happened?" he demanded of her as he attempted to help his fellow guard stand. "You shouldn't be here! You were-"

"The creche! The creche has been breached!" she cried out. "The others are dead! The invaders, they- they took the little ones," she sobbed.

"Kaya?" Zeb started, his expression shifting to panic as he shook the other guard. "Where's Kaya? _What happened to her?!_ "

The guardswoman, Echari, shook her her head as she collapsed one final time. "Gone," she whispered.

"No," Zeb hissed. " _No!_ "

Then, from out of the chaos and terror, came the sound of a single voice crying and screaming.

" _GARAZEB!_ "

Zeb immediately zeroed in on the terrified cry, eyes focusing on a stormtrooper running _away_ from the rout with a Lasat child thrown over his shoulder. Kanan wasn't sure, but she didn't look like she could be much older than six or seven.

" _KAYA!_ " Zeb snarled, giving an incensed roar before pursuing the trooper.

"Zeb! Garazeb, _help me!_ " the little girl cried, her sobs some of the most heartbreaking Kanan had ever heard, and he had heard _many_.

"KAYA!" Zeb shouted as he ran after them. " _KAYA!_ "

The guardsman _did_ catch up to his prey, but Kanan was never going to know how it ended because that was also the moment everything went up in white.

" _ZEB!_ " he shouted on instinct, reaching a hand out into the whiteness before the scene could shift altogether. Arkalia was beginning to whimper now, because even though she couldn't see any of this, she could certainly tell that _he_ was worried.

The scene he shifted into was in the brig of some ship he'd never seen before, and the first thing he became aware of was Zeb, chained to a pipe and hanging from the ceiling, his feet hobbled down by a heavyset pair of binders.

"Zeb!" he called out in alarm, taking a single step forward before he was able to remind himself that he couldn't do anything – that this already had happened or had yet to happen.

The Lasat looked like he'd been through hell. He was hanging limply from his chains and he was breathing heavily, eyes half-closed. His body trembled with every struggled breath and his purple fur was matted with blood in several places.

"Kali...Kali...little squeak...my girl...I'm so sorry," he whispered, choking back a sob as he squeezed his eyes shut.

 _This hasn't happened yet. It's still in the future,_ Kanan realized, reflexively holding the kit a little tighter as she began to cry.

Then the door to the makeshift brig slid open, admitting an enraged human male who wore a vest made of what looked suspiciously like Wookiee fur.

"Kriffing kriff kriffwitted!" the human grumbled before kicking one of the pipes that occupied the space. "When I get ahold of that no good-"

"Heh. Heh-heh," Zeb laughed at the man, though the motion of the laugh clearly pained him. "They got away...didn't they."

"Not for long," the man snarled back. "They can't hide forever. I'll find 'em eventually."

"The little one...what did you do to her?" Zeb tried to demand in as firm a voice as he could manage. The man sneered as he moved closer to Zeb.

"Bet you'd like to know. Just swoop right in and snatch my prize away from me. Not that you'll be doin' much swoopin' in the little time you've got left."

"Kuross, I swear, if _anythin'_ happens to that kit-"

"You'll what? _Kill_ me? You'd kill me whether or _not_ anything happened to that rodent. _Animals_. The lot of ya!" the man, Kuross, snapped.

"Not just me," Zeb pointed out, not even acknowledging his animal jab. "You're forgettin' two Jedi, a general, a Mandalorian, a clone captain, a murder bot, a rebel spy, and basically the entire rebel movement. They'd be gunnin' for you, too."

"Heh, sure. We'll see how good your rebel riffraff are against _my_ clients. After all, it ain't just myself I'm huntin' for this time, much as I'd just _love_ to lay into that sleek fur a' yours," the bounty hunter said as he slipped a vibroblade from his belt, holding it dangerously close to Zeb's throat. Zeb growled at the human, risking a nick from the vibrating weapon to try and bite the hand that held it. Kuross laughed as he withdrew his hand. "Though...I guess your skin might not be worth the effort it'd take to get it off ya. Complete bust as far as collector's value goes, scarred and damaged as it is."

"Well, 'scuse me for bein' a proper Lasat," Zeb snarled, making a valiant but brief struggle against his bonds.

"Oh, I didn't say it had no _value_. Just 'cuz I can't turn a profit doesn't mean it's worthless. Got a bit of a _thing_ for Lasat fur myself," he continued as he moved away from Zeb.

"Yeah, I _know_ ," the former guardsman spat out. "Kinda hard to forget the _monster_ what walks around with the skin of your people sewn into his bag."

"Really, you should feel _honored_ , Garazeb Orrelios," Kuross said as he dug through a storage locker. "To be a part of _my_ collection-"

"Forgive me if I'm not exactly _tickled_ by the thought of havin' my skin ripped off for some _human's_ fetish purposes."

"Guess I can't blame you for that one, but at the end of the day, it looks like you're still the one in chains while I'm the one with the keys," Kuross said as he came up with the item he'd been searching for – a carefully folded Lasat pelt. Kanan actually took a shocked step back at that one. It was one thing to hear the bounty hunter talk about skinning Lasat, but to actually _see_ the fruits of such a labor...it was nauseating.

"A Lasat mercenary came to kill me one time. Son of a bitch was the toughest kill I ever made. Just about got the drop on me. You were right up there with him. Ya put up a damn good fight. Almost got away. So you'll have a place right next to him," the bounty hunter said as he moved back toward Zeb, coming to rub the fur along his cheek. The Lasat shuddered in barely contained revulsion, and Kanan knew that if _he_ felt sickened just _watching_ this, he couldn't _begin_ to imagine what Zeb would feel actually experiencing it. All he could do was stand there, trying to comfort Arkalia and just _wishing_ the vision would stop. But the Force was apparently not in a forgiving mood today, as Kuross' next words snapped both his and Zeb's attention back to him.

"Now...just imagine the kind of return I could get on the unblemished pelt of a _kit_."

Once again, Kanan had to resist the urge to reach for his lightsaber, but Zeb was under no such duress. He let out an incensed roar, throwing himself at the bounty hunter, straining with all his might against his bonds, and for a moment, it seemed they might actually give. Even though the binders ultimately ended up holding, Kuross still took a step back in amazement.

" _You wouldn't! YOU WOULDN'T!_ " Zeb screamed, voice barely recognizable as anything sentient as he continued to struggle against his bonds. " _SHE'S A **CHILD!**_ "

"Well, that _would_ be the point, wouldn't it?" the bounty hunter asked with a sneer, but that self-satisfied expression was soon shifting into a look of disappointment. "But sadly, in this case, you're right. Your kit's life ain't mine to take. My contract with the Empire does specify a need for the two of ya to be alive when I bring ya in, and I sure as kriff ain't gonna be the one to cross _them_."

"The Empire?" Zeb asked in despair, body finally going limp in his bonds.

"The same. Don't ask me why, but this Thrawn character specifically wanted you'n the kit, so he got the best in the business to track ya down. Not sure what's gonna happen to the kit, but _you_ go to me as a finder's fee when he's done with ya. So while we wait to rendezvous with the _Chimera_ , you two are gonna sit tight while I figure out just where those friends a' yours disappeared to."

Zeb might've said something in response, but all Kanan could perceive of him anymore was the haunted, defeated look in his eyes – like he'd been stabbed through the heart with his own bo-rifle.

"Zeb!" he tried to call out to him as the Lasat's face began to fall away into darkness, leaving him alone in the void with Arkalia.

" _Zeb!_ "

He could still see, but there was nothing _to_ see – nothing but the helplessly wailing kit in his arms. Holding her close against his chest and rocking her, he couldn't quite help but take in her features as he soothed her.

"It's okay. It's okay. You're gonna be all right. I'm here. I'm here," he crooned easily, taking in the kit's tiny twitching ears and her luminescent green eyes. He knew it wouldn't be long before he couldn't see her, so he had to take in every detail while he still had the chance. And as her terrified sobs started to lessen, other voices began to make themselves known to him.

 _"Train yourself to let go of everything you fear to lose..."_

 _"Stretch out with your feelings..."_

 _"All is as the Force wills it..."_

 _"...but you are not a Jedi yet..."_

 _"So what I told you was true...from a certain point of view..."_

 _"Let the past die. Kill it...if you have to..."_

 _"Only what you take with you..."_

 _"Be mindful of the Living Force..."_

 _"I can feel your anger..."_

 _"I am no Jedi..."_

 _"Far above, far below, we don't know where we'll fall..."_

 _"Always in motion is the future..."_

 _"...it's what I had to do..."_

With every voice that rushed through him, the knight saw the image of Arkalia grow dimmer and dimmer, until all that remained were her round eyes, blinking curiously up at him.

"Why this? Why like this?" he couldn't stop himself from asking, certain that if his eyes could still shed tears, they would be doing so. To be able to see...but to have to see _that_...

Then, finally, even Arkalia's eyes went black and he was left alone in darkness once again, breathing heavily as he cradled the kit against his beating heart.

Somewhere in the midst of the visions, he'd stumbled back against the tangled gnarl of the tree roots. Already protesting the rough treatment, his body was none too happy with the unpleasant jabs of those ancient roots. But when he began to disentangle himself from their embrace, the unsettling and unwelcome sound of something _growling_ was suddenly at his ear.

"Oh...that's not good," Kanan grumbled quietly to himself as he quickly slipped into a battle-ready stance. Whatever this creature was, he got a sense of anger from it – anger and _hunger_. So their fall and Arkalia's wailing had had the misfortune of waking some creature from its hibernation. "Don't suppose there's any chance of singing you back to sleep," he couldn't quite help joking just before the creature let out an enraged roar, stomping toward them.

Well, Rex had said to be on the lookout for fresh meat.

The weight of the creature's tread upon the ground told the blind knight that it was nearly twice his size. If he'd been on his own, he would've been able to handle the situation without a second thought. But he wasn't alone. He had to keep Arkalia safe. There was no way he was setting her down with a maddened creature about to go berserker on the loose. The carrier was still up at the top of the pit. The only option was to hold onto her and fight one-handed.

"How 'bout it, baby girl? Think you can hold tight to me?" he asked as he drew his saber. He hoped that his instinct about the Lasat would prove to be right, and that, as a climbing race, one of a kit's first instincts would be to _grip_.

Arkalia seemed to understand him well enough, her fingers and toes curling even tighter into the fabric of his shirt. But he did still keep his hold on her when he finally made his move, slipping just out of the enraged beast's grip and sweeping around behind it. He felt the displacement of air as the beast swung a massive arm back toward them. It took little more than a flick of his lightsaber to sever the animal's hand, leaving it roaring in rage and pain.

The Force warned him of the deadly swing of the beast's other arm in time to shield Arkalia from it, but not to avoid the blow entirely. When the massive hairy arm connected with his body, he was sent flying against the far wall of the cave. His back _really_ wasn't going to thank him for this later.

 _Breathe_ , he reminded himself, drawing on the previous intensity of his connection to the Force during the visions, even as the creature charged at them. It was enraged, half-starved, and in pain. It was reacting, not acting. This could be finished quickly. Kanan kept his position where he'd fallen until the last possible moment.

Then, just as the beast was moving in to crush his head between its jaws, he thrust his lightsaber up through its soft, defenseless throat. The creature gave a hideous, gurgling roar of defeat before falling dead before him.

"Well, that wasn't so bad," Kanan said with a relieved exhale as he wiped a light sheen of sweat from his face, noticing for the first time that even though he'd released Arkalia in order to be able to get the proper amount of strength behind his final blow, she'd still kept her hold on him throughout.

"Good girl," he said, patting the top of her head and earning himself a nuzzle to his palm. When he finally managed to get a proper whiff of his downed opponent's scent, he began to get a better idea of just what it was he'd felled.

"Well...sure hope everyone's in the mood for gundark tonight."

XxX

Needless to say, precisely _no one_ on the _Ghost_ crew was pleased when Kanan returned from his little walkabout half beat up. He was only treated to a combination patch job and scolding from Hera _after_ everyone had endlessly fussed over Arkalia. And in high spirits though he seemed to be, they could all tell he was distracted by something. They barely managed to bring in his kill from the forest before the storm that had been threatening since noon broke, lashing torrents of rain down on the starship's hull.

With the uncooperative weather, the cooking was done inside that night, but it didn't matter much to Alex where they ate, as he couldn't seem to get Arkalia to calm down. Every time the rumble of thunder resonated throughout the ship, a fresh wave of crying would begin. None of the usual tricks seemed to be working – not singing, not scratching, not nuzzling, not rocking or cuddling, none of it. The little kit just would not be comforted. In an attempt to spare the rest of the crew her fit, Alex had withdrawn to their bunk, thinking to just wait it out with her until she'd cried herself to exhaustion. Only that didn't seem any closer to happening when Zeb went back to check on them. Arkalia was still sobbing in terror and Alex looked exhausted, his eyes shadowed and his pale skin even more pallid.

"The thunder...it bothers her," he mumbled helplessly, continuing to mindlessly rock the kit. "I don't know what to do."

"Give her here," Zeb said softly, holding out his hands to take the kit, a sympathetic look in his eyes. "I wanna try somethin'."

"What kind of something?" Alex asked as he stood from the bunk, handing Arkalia over without hesitation.

"Just an idea I got from Ezra," Zeb said, absently rocking the little Lasat as he moved away from the crew quarters, Alex following not too far behind, but the former Imperial was soon protesting when he realized Zeb was taking her outside.

"Zeb, I really don't see how that's going to help. Won't going out in it only make things worse?" he pointed out as they headed down the exit ramp.

"Only one way to find out," the former guardsman said matter-of-factly. It took some coaxing to get Arkalia to release her grip on his jumpsuit, but once he'd managed it, he turned her around to face the storm, settling her comfortably on one arm.

"Look on out here, Kali," he encouraged her, holding a hand out from beneath the cover of the _Ghost_ and letting the rain pour down onto his fingers. Then he drew his hand back, allowing the kit to have a look at the individual drops of water that now clung to his fur. "You know what this is, don'tcha? Remember? You _like_ water."

Even though she was still whimpering, Arkalia reached out toward his hand, her own tiny ones dwarfed by it as she pressed them against his palm, letting the raindrops trickle down onto her little fingers. Almost in spite of herself, the little girl's latest sob turned into more of a squeal.

"Not so bad, is it," he continued to cajole her, stepping a little further out until the rain was falling on her hands and his. Arkalia gave a tiny coo of amazement at the sensation. When the lightning flashed, she almost didn't seem aware of it. She only seemed to see the way the bolt of light set the raindrops to sparkling as they danced through the air.

They had a brief set back with the next crash of thunder. Arkalia whimpered again, pulling back into herself and back up against Zeb's chest, trembling in fright...but she wasn't outright crying anymore. They were making progress.

"Come on now, little squeak," Zeb kept right on encouraging. Normally, he knew, he didn't have such an infinite amount of patience, but for her – her and Alex – he felt like he could sit and wait for the stars to turn to dust. "I'm right here. We're both right here. Nothin' bad's gonna happen to you."

Once again, Arkalia reached out to touch the rain, a small smile moving across her face as Zeb moved a little further out. When they were about halfway out in the rain, another thunderclap sounded, causing the kit to retreat against him once more.

" _Ze ze, ze ze, ni kyra,_ " he soothed, beginning to speak in Lasana. " _Arrag or'san valad mayra,_ " he assured her as he carried her all the way out into the rain, relieved to see her face blossom into a full smile.

"What is that- you're saying to her?" he heard Alex asking. When he turned back to look at the former Imperial, it was to see him still standing beneath the cover of the _Ghost_.

" _Ze ze_ is hush...shh. _Ni kyra_ is...again, the translation's a bit wonky. It _means_ 'my little claw'. Guess the Basic version is to say sweetheart or darlin'. The rest is an old Lasat sayin'. Means 'the ground's not goin' anywhere'."

Alex just blinked at him in confusion a few moments before coming out with, "I'm sorry. What?"

"I think the Basic equivalent is 'don't look down' or 'don't be scared'," he started to explain. "Y'see, we're a climbin' people. This kit's gonna be climbin' before she's walkin'. It's about how...no matter how high you climb, there's always a fall waitin'. So if that fall's there anyway, you may as well not be scared of it. _Arrag or'san valad mayra_."

Alex considered it a moment before nodding. "It makes sense. I like that."

"So are you gonna stay under there all night or are you comin' out with us?" he asked Alex with a soft smirk.

Again that confused blinking. "Zeb, you're not- you can't be thinking of keeping this up. She'll catch her death out in that."

"Really? Looks an awful lot to me like she's havin' fun," Zeb returned, nodding down at the kit, who was clapping and squealing with delight as she caught raindrops with her little toes. When the next clap of thunder rumbled across the plane, she didn't even notice it.

Alex smiled tenderly as he looked at them. "Garazeb Orrelios, you are nothing less than a miracle worker."

"Garazeb Orrelios, most notorious baby wrangler this side of the Outer Rim," he joked back, holding his hand out for Alex. The agent smirked in response as he took the offered hand, allowing Zeb to pull him out into the rain.

"Indeed, who would contest such a fearsome title?" he teased as Zeb pulled him in close, holding him against his chest with Arkalia cushioned firmly between them.

"They can contest all they want. It's _mine_ ," Zeb insisted, hoping to convey that he was talking about more than just the title. Alex seemed to understand him, amber eyes gazing up into his with a sort of uncertain longing.

 _You're mine,_ he tried to say with his eyes before capturing Alex's lips with his own, being as gentle as he knew how to be while still conveying the resolve of his claim. In its own ways, it was both like and unlike the first time they'd kissed, but he supposed some part of him would _always_ be comparing the kisses they shared to that first intense moment of unbridled _need_.

X

 _They kept meeting._

 _Across worlds, across time and distance, they always seemed to come face to face, having to pretend to a hatred neither of them felt any longer in order to keep each other safe. But each time they clashed, it got harder and harder – harder not to try to explain, to **express.**_

 _Zeb had known he no long hated Alexsandr Kallus. He had known that from the moment he'd heard the other man's voice break over his meager but heartfelt explanation for Lasan. He held just as many ugly feelings over it as Zeb himself did, even if they weren't the same ones. The former captain knew what he **didn't** feel, but what he **did**...that was a little harder to understand. _

_The thread of the Tinsahn was undoubtedly the most difficult he'd ever had to follow. At no point did he want to overstep his bounds on what they actually were to each other, especially since Kallus himself was unaware of his cultural hangups. It hadn't exactly been unheard of for a Bond to form between a Lasat and an offworlder, but it certainly would have been among the rarer cases were his people still around to have a say in things. But as he'd always been told, the Tinsahn was a connection beyond the physical, so the form his tinsana took didn't seem like it should matter._

 _So what were they? Friends? Comrades in arms? Brothers? No. There was a level of **desire** there that couldn't safely be contained in any of those types of relationships. He was fairly certain he'd never felt the urge to press any of his brothers in the guard up against a wall and kiss them until he had them whimpering. He'd imagined Kallus often enough, whenever he had a moment to himself – imagined the way that delicate human skin would feel against the rough pads of his own fingertips, or the way that controlled, straight-laced Imperial voice would sound, completely wrecked with pleasure..._

 _But it was more than that, even. It was the earnestness in the former Imperial's eyes whenever he talked about seeing the Empire fall. It was the surety of his words when he spoke of what he owed the galaxy...what he owed Zeb. It was the unwavering set of his shoulders every time he went back to face the people who would execute him without hesitation if they were to learn what was **really** in his heart. It was in late night conversations and stolen radio frequencies. It was in the way Kal smiled at him when they weren't under the prying eye of a security cam...and in the way he could't help but smile back._

 _Okay, maybe he **did** know how he felt. He'd just been loath to put a name to it. His Tinsahn had taken form in the way it was going to and he knew he wouldn't have it any other way._

 _But what about Kal? Surely he hadn't misread the look in his eyes during that first fight? All the fights they'd had since? Was it possible he was only imagining the way their bodies seemed to just **fit** together every time they clashed, seeking to be closer? **Desperate** not to have to gaze at each other through the unyielding tangle of their bo-rifles?_

 _After their last run with Hondo, after one brush with death too many, Garazeb Orrelios finally hit 'kriff it'. The next time he saw Kal, he was going to kriffing **do something** about this. It didn't matter what the circumstances were and he had no idea what he was actually going to **do** , but that had never stopped him before. He wasn't going to let it stop him this time._

 _As it so happened, their next run-in was during an assignment to Taris. And as always, when reinforcements arrived to back up the latest Imperial base's beleaguered forces, there he was – Kal leading a squad of troopers. His eyes widened briefly when he beheld him, but then his expression shifted easily into the practiced sneer of their performed skirmishes._

 _"And so we meet again, Lasat," the ISB agent declared in a theatrical tone as he engaged his bo-rifle. Zeb returned the smirk with a tiny lick of his lips, smoothly reconfiguring his own weapon._

 _"Been lookin' forward to it, agent," he said, drawing an exhilarated breath as Kal leapt into the fray._

 _Almost immediately, they were both lost in the dance of it, the visceral exchange of blows and sweat that was the only recourse they had. Zeb was barely aware of Ezra's assistance in keeping the rest of the troopers contained between himself and Kanan. The two youngest Spectres had some idea of what was going on between the two of them and he knew Kanan and Hera suspected, even though he hadn't laid it all out for them. But who knew? After today, he just might be able to tell them._

 _With no higher up to deceive, they didn't waste too much breath on feigned insults. They simply went at each other with everything they had, connecting in the only way they could. Zeb drew Kal away from the main fight, battling him down a side corridor before deftly switching to his rifle configuration and making absolutely certain there were no cams remaining to spy on them._

 _The action was enough to distract Kal for a moment, leaving him with a confused expression just long enough for Zeb to shift back to bo configuration and snare the other man's bo-rifle with his own. Zeb forced the weapon up against the wall behind Kal, effectively pinning the former Imperial's hands above his head. Then, in the heat and intensity of the moment, he surged forward into the human's personal space and pressed his lips fiercely against his._

 _The way Kal **gasped** into the kiss was intoxicating, sending a thrill of desire through the Lasat's entire body, ultimately pooling in his belly as liquid fire. Ashla, but he'd wanted this for far too long. He **wished** they could go on like this – just kissing and kissing and kissing._

 _"Oh, **Zeb** ," Kal whispered against the corner of his mouth in the brief moment they took to breathe._

 _"Tell me how long you've wanted this," he returned in just as soft a voice, nipping at the man's jaw._

 _"I... **ah**...I...oh, **stars** ," he moaned softly, voice nearly overshadowed by the sound of blaster fire, reminding them of their peril. Even then, the Lasat continued to trail kisses down onto the agent's neck. "Zeb...please...they'll see. They'll **see**."_

 _"Karabast," the former guardsman growled low in his throat, knowing Kal was right._

 _"Once more," the former Imperial **whimpered** , body moving against Zeb's in spite of himself. "Just once more. **Please.** "_

 _Zeb was helpless to do anything but obey him, pressing into him to claim his lips one more time, as if he could press the memory of this moment onto that fragile human skin. But as he pulled back from Kal, leaving him stretching, reaching after the kiss, he mumbled softly against him, "Next time."_

 _"Next time," the former Imperial agreed, the words somehow having become their custom._

 _They pulled apart just in time for a stormtrooper to be sent flying around the corner of the hallway, the only sight for him to see the pair of them engaged in bo-rifle combat once again, just as they always were._

X

Alex remembered that first kiss just as vividly, as he'd been dreaming of it ever since that first fight at the academy. Every one of the following ones had been like that as well – passionate, intense, and all too brief – right up until Zeb had greeted him on his approach to the _Ghost_. He _hoped_ there would be more kisses like that, like this one they were sharing now in the pouring rain – slow and luxuriating, just reveling in the feel of _being_ together. Though he didn't dare hope for too much, given the severity of his trespasses against the galaxy...this was nice. To stand together in the rain, breathing each other in and fleetingly dreaming of a life like this after the war.

It was nice.

They didn't pull away after the kiss had ended, just continued to hold each other, with Arkalia babbling in interest between the two of them.

"You know," Alex started after a time, "I think I should like to test my skill against you in the rain sometime."

Zeb chuckled quietly as he nuzzled the top of his head. "Is that all you ever think about? Trainin'?"

"A goodly amount, yes. Old habits and all, that sort of thing," he responded, tracing a hand up the side of Zeb's face.

"Yeah, we're gonna have to work on that. Just as soon as we get you clear of the Empire...when you come home for good."

"Home?" Alex found himself asking, his voice thick with uncertainty as he looked up at Zeb.

"Course. You belong with us. You _know_ that...don't you?" the Lasat asked him, ears twitching, just on the verge of drooping as he looked down at him, something in his expression twisting with sadness.

The laugh Alex gave at that was bitter and pained. Looking down at the ground, he pulled a few steps back from Zeb. "Have I done enough? Will I _ever_ be able to do enough...to deserve that?" he wondered aloud, wrapping his arms around himself as he withdrew.

"Hey, no," Zeb started, following his retreat as he moved back to the cover of the _Ghost_. "You can't make this about punishin' yourself."

"Then what am I supposed to do?" he found himself asking before he could stop. How was Zeb supposed to answer that question when even _he_ couldn't? How was _anyone_ supposed to answer it?

"Normally, I'd say you're supposed to do what you think is right, but it looks to me like you think it's right to punish yourself for somethin' you had no real control over."

"Not over the Empire, no, but over _myself_. I made a decision back then...to keep fighting for them. If I'd been any kind of decent, I would have walked away that day," he struggled to explain as he continued to pull away from Zeb, backing up until he hit the _Ghost_ 's ramp and he had nowhere to retreat to.

"So you're tellin' me that you were the _only one_ there that day? You single-handedly wiped out the Lasat people?" Zeb asked him, a glare starting up on his face as he held Arkalia up. "'Cuz I got a kit, a beatin' heart, and a kriff ton of bad memories that say otherwise."

And only when put like that did his own hangups begin to sound just a touch ridiculous to the former Imperial. Exhaling loudly, he slowly sank down on the ramp, staring past Zeb, out into the rain. Faintly, he mumbled, "Well...at that, it begins to sound a _little_ bit foolish."

"Maybe 'cuz it is," Zeb said as he sat down beside him. "You bein' there or not that day wouldn't have made a difference. Based on the information you had at the time, you _thought_ you were doin' the right thing. Can't ask anymore than that."

Alex honestly wasn't certain how true that was, but Zeb swiftly cut off his argument by passing Arkalia to him. And like a balm to a wound, the kit's dribbling smile eased some long held pain in his chest, allowing him to breathe a little easier. As he cradled her small body against his, it gave him the courage to allow his thoughts to venture back to Lasan...back to memories he hadn't allowed himself to examine in _years_.

"Zeb," he began in a low voice, not looking at either of them at first, "there are things that happened on Lasan...things I've never told any other living soul about...things I didn't include in my reports. I think...before we can truly be _us_...that I need to tell you about Lasan...and I don't know if I have the strength to do it," he finished, absently stroking the fur on the back of Arkalia's neck. The affectionate gesture was met with a nuzzle to his own neck, which elicited a small smile from him.

"You do," Zeb said without hesitation, scooting that much closer to them, laying a hand on his shoulder. "I _know_ you do. You're one of the strongest people I know. Might not be tonight, might not even be this month, but if you feel like it's somethin' you gotta do, you'll do it...and I'm here whenever you're ready."

Drawing in a deep breath, Alex nodded. Then he shifted Arkalia to a one-armed hold so he could take Zeb's much larger hand in his, lifting it to press the back of it to his cheek.

"It wasn't- long after Onderon," he began, still not looking at Zeb, just leaning into the press of their two hands. "The sector had become greatly unstable in the wake of the Clone Wars. We were deployed to...pacify...a growing uprising," he struggled to find the words, but before he could choke anymore of them out, he found himself overwhelmed again.

. _..a fellow soldier's head being torn off by a Lasat warrior..._

 _...the shriek of the ion disruptor...the tears evaporating from the young Lasat's cheeks..._

 _...the guardsman's face as he surrenders his bo-rifle with trembling hands..._

 _"Ashla praise...for her child that dies and lives again...for this guardian, there is no end..."_

 _...the certainty in the commander's eyes as she gives her orders..._

 _"Do what you must. Fight for your Emperor!"_

 _...a child's scream as he's torn from his mother..._

 _"As many as can be secured. Her numbers are quite specific. She requires a ten percent genetic sampling."_

 _"Why?"_

 _"I honestly didn't ask."_

 _ **Stupid, stupid, stupid! You** **knew** **better. Should've questioned...should've** **asked!**_

 _...the small moment of silence as the last proton cluster ignites...before everything vanishes in violence and white..._

Alex gave a tiny, pained cry as the memories rushed through him. Curling in on himself, he attempted to pull away from Zeb, but the Lasat refused to release his hand. Instead, he wrapped his arm around him and pulled him securely against his side, riding out the storm with him while soothing both him and Arkalia. Neither of them said anything for a long while. Zeb just held him close while he remastered his own breathing.

"I...I _can't_ ," he said after a time. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay," Zeb reassured him, pressing a kiss to the top of his head. "You don't have to say anythin' a _moment_ before you're ready, and I'm prepared to wait for as long as it takes."

"Thank you," he returned softly, finally allowing the tension to ease from his body so he could just rest there in Zeb's arms, breathing in and out while they cradled Arkalia between them.

"Next time," Zeb said quietly, drawing a small laugh from the former Imperial's lips.

"Of course...next time," he said, the pair of them falling into a comfortable silence while Arkalia babbled on, singing the odd little baby tune that only she could seem to hear.

Alex had no idea just how long they all sat like that before a towel suddenly landed on his head.

"Yes, you're all sickeningly adorable," Hera's voice drifted to them down the ramp, her smile plain to be heard in her tone. "Now would you please dry that kit off before she catches cold?"

"Heheh, as you command, General," he answered, passing Arkalia to Zeb whilst he got himself disentangled from the towel. Between the two of them, they managed to get the little kit rubbed dry. "We should probably think about getting her to bed."

"Sure, just as soon as we get dried off. I'll let you have the 'fresher," Zeb said as he got to his feet, offering Alex a hand up.

"You really are too kind, Captain Orrelios," he said as he accepted the hand. They parted ways only reluctantly and Alex changed into dry clothes as quickly as he could, but he was still a little too late to see Arkalia off to sleep.

He was, in fact, a little too late to see _both_ the Lasat off to sleep.

By the time he'd returned from the 'fresher, Zeb had already changed and fallen asleep on their bunk. This wouldn't have been in any way noteworthy...were it not for the fact that Arkalia was still with him.

The kit was curled into a little ball beneath the towel she'd been wrapped in, sound asleep on Zeb's chest, and Alex could safely say that, without exception, this was the most adorable thing he'd ever seen. He was quickly seconded when Ezra came to the door of the small cabin to see the two Lasat curled up together.

"I...I didn't know Zeb _could_ be cute," the young Jedi mumbled, on the verge of either laughing or crying. "My life is a lie."

Alex wasn't completely aware of when the rest of the crew sidled up to have a look at the devastatingly precious sight, but he did gradually come to hear their voices as they offered their input.

"You're never gonna let him live this down, are ya," Rex commented to Kanan.

"Never," the Jedi returned with a wicked curl of his lip.

"You're both horrible. Don't you _dare_ make fun of him," Hera scolded them, though the entire exchange was all clearly in jest.

The series of whirs and clicks Chopper offered up actually seemed quiet when compared with his typical chatter. Was he...trying not to wake them?

"Nah," Kanan answered in response to the astromech's suggestion. "Nothing could wake Zeb from that deep a sleep."

Sabine made no comment on the tableau before them, simply passed Alex Arkalia's blanket before starting to snap away with her holo-capture.

Alex didn't think much on it before slipping quietly into the room, deftly exchanging the towel for the blanket. He could almost swear he was going into cardiac arrest with the way his heart was melting over the sight of the two Lasat. Unable to help himself, he bent down and dropped a kiss on Arkalia's head, then pressed another to Zeb's forehead.

 _I love you. I love you both._

"Okay, it's official," Sabine declared as she threw her hands in the air, voice still at half-whisper. "These dorks are _actually_ trying to kill us with how karking _adorable_ they are. General Syndulla, I request Captain Orrelios and Fulcrum be courtmartialed for attempted murder."

"Nope. It's murder," Ezra put in with a fond expression. "I'm dead. I'm _legitimately_ dead over here."

"Hmm, request accepted," Hera said with a happy sigh. "The sentence for the murder, successful or otherwise, of your fellow shipmates is ship's arrest."

"I'm sorry. What?" Alex asked, unable to keep the confused smiled from his face as he looked at all of them.

"Means you'll be confined to the _Ghost_ for a period of time to be determined by its captain," Rex explained, nodding at Hera.

"No, I _know_ what it means, but-"

"Sentence to be carried out upon discharge of your duties as Fulcrum," the Twi'lek declared with an air of finality.

"I...I don't understand," he said, expression morphing from confused happiness to just confused.

"You're one of us," Kanan took up the explanation, nodding at him as he placed a hand on Hera's shoulder. "You've proven that countless times since you took up Ahsoka's work. Just as soon as you're quit of the Empire, you're on this crew for good – a Spectre. If that's what you want, of course."

Alex honestly had no idea what to say to that. For a moment, he felt a flare up of the guilt he'd experienced out in the rain, but he didn't allow it to overshadow Kanan's words. It was a little different to hear these things from the rest of the crew than it was to hear them from Zeb. To know that they actually _wanted_ him here...it was almost more than his strictly regimented mind could handle.

"I...of course. Yes," he finally managed to make himself answer, looking at each of them in turn. "Thank you."

"Never thought I'd say this, but welcome to the family, Kallus," Ezra said, nodding at him with a smile.

Alex returned the nod with a smile of his own before looking back down at the sleeping Lasat, feeling his smile widen more than he'd ever thought possible. Part of him wished Zeb had been awake for this, but then, why would that have been necessary? The former guardsman had accepted him as family long before now. He would've just rolled his eyes and muttered something about what an idiot he was for thinking it had ever been otherwise.

"I- thank you...deeply...for such a welcome," he said with a helpless smile. "But I believe it's still going to end with me sleeping on the floor. I couldn't bear to disturb them."

"Don't even think about it," Hera scolded in her usual fashion. "Wild rancors couldn't wake Zeb up right now. Just be careful of Arkalia and you can climb right over him."

Alex eyed the pair nervously for a moment before deciding to give it a try. After all, would it really be so bad to be able to soothe Arkalia back to sleep if she were to wake? So, heeding Hera's advice and making certain not to jostle the kit, he climbed over Zeb's much larger body, his own easily fitting into the small sliver of space between him and the wall.

"And I'm with Ezra now," Sabine conceded with a sigh. "Dead. Dead and buried."

"Night everybody," Ezra said as he entered the bunk, climbing up into his own space.

It didn't take the others long to disperse to their own quarters, but Alex was already largely unaware of the world outside of the cozy little bunk, as Zeb had shifted in his sleep, moving to wrap an arm around him. Smiling in the dark, he leaned into Zeb, mouthing the words 'I love you' against his ear, not at all certain how _any_ of them would feel about Ezra hearing those words before Zeb did. Unable to let go of his smile, he drifted off to sleep with the sound of Zeb's loud, even breathing in his ear and the feel of Arkalia's soft fur beneath his fingertips.

XxX

If anything could be said of Grand Admiral Thrawn, it was that he did not suffer ineptitude lightly. So when he overheard ineptitude being carried out upon his very own vessel, he was swift to correct it.

"Listen hear, ya fine, fancy suit. You people can't just go 'round offerin' rewards for information and then just not take tips seriously," a rough-edged voice sounded over the listening station he happened to be passing by at the time.

"My apologies, _Sir_ , but as you can provide no other evidence as to the encounter other than your own visual testimony, we really _cannot_ spare the resources to investigate your claim," the officer at the station snipped to the hologram on display over his station – a human male with an appearance to match the voice. Unless the Chiss had missed his best guess, he was wearing a vest made from a Wookiee's pelt. With such an openly barbaric display, the grand admiral was half-inclined to dismiss what he'd overheard anyway, but he was not about to let go the fact that _something_ had caught his attention.

" _I_ will be the judge of that, Ensign," Thrawn declared as he approached the station, seeing the holo image of the would-be informant throw off two stormtroopers in annoyance.

"Oh! G- Grand Admiral," the officer snapped out in surprise.

"What is the situation?" Thrawn asked, not much caring which of them answered.

"This bounty hunter claims to have seen a Lasat infant," the ensign told him.

"It's valuable information," the human said with an ugly sneer. "A few of your boys were out here on Alluria a week ago and they exterminated a pack of 'em."

"I am aware," the grand admiral informed him, his tone as even as ever. He had Agent Kallus' direct report on the incident already on record.

"Well, what _I_ think happened is somebody must'a smuggled a kit out before everything went down."

"And what _proof_ do you have of this child's existence?"

"I _saw_ the little loth rat with my own eyes," the bounty hunter snapped back, sweeping his long black hair out of his eyes in frustration.

"You can _hardly_ expect the Empire to render payment based on nothing more than the strength of your _word_ , Mr.-"

"Kuross," the hunter supplied. "Giren Kuross. And no _kriff_ I wasn't expectin' payment based on that. I figured you'd send somebody to check things out. After all, you boys can't have a _Lasat_ walking around, can you."

"You give us virtually nothing to pursue, Kuross," Thrawn pointed out. "If you were, perhaps, to capture the child yourself, you would certainly be handsomely rewarded, but as it stands-"

"It happened on a public street!" Kuross shouted in outrage. "You tryin' to tell me your punks don't have access to security cams?"

Not security cams, no...but perhaps another avenue of information was still available to him.

"Agent Kallus is still on assignment in the Allurian System, is he not?" he asked the ensign.

"I- yes...Sir. Yessir. He was in pursuit of insurgents who escaped the action on Alluria."

 _Interesting_. "And has he reported in recently?"

He had little doubt the ensign was on the verge of answering 'yes' out of habit, but when the man actually checked his records, it was to find that, "No. Agent Kallus hasn't reported in for...two _days_ , Sir."

 _Very_ interesting. It would be too much of a coincidence for these two events to happen so near to each other and not be connected somehow – Agent Kallus on assignment on Alluria and reports of a Lasat child on the same planet – especially given Alexsandr Kallus' particular history with the Lasat people. Had the ISB agent heard rumor of a Lasat survivor and headed off to pursue his own revenge vendetta? He didn't think so. Kallus was far too disciplined for such rash actions. But if that wasn't the connection, then what was?

"Congratulations, Giren Kuross. It seems you may get your investigation after all," Thrawn told the bounty hunter before cutting the connection.

"Sir?" the ensign queried, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Hail Agent Kallus. Something is not aligning in all this and we are going to figure out what that something is."

XxX

Alex was starting to get worried.

The storm systems moving through these last few days had prevented him from leaving his usual ruse reports and the Spectres had flat out refused to let him take off in the stuff. It was only in the last few hours that the weather had finally cleared. He had every intention of heading back to his shuttle to make his reports...just as soon as dinner was finished...just as soon as Arkalia was fed.

Excuses, excuses.

Every last thought in his brain ran dry when his comlink signaled him of an incoming transmission, and his blood ran cold within his veins when he saw the name at the other end of the frequency.

 _Thrawn_.

XxX

(A/N) Okay, confession time. I am aware that Thrawn has a storied and varied history within Star Wars, but I'm not as familiar with him as a character as I should be. My "research" is ongoing, as it were. Point being that I don't feel at all competent writing him yet, but I did need to start bringing him into things. Hence this little scene at the end, which I'm a little terrified over. I considered writing it from another character's perspective, but...I dunno. It didn't seem to work with anyone but him. Yeeaaah, I'm still just cringing over it. Hopefully, my grasp on the grand admiral's voice improves as we go. Either way, I hope you still found this chapter worth waiting for. I'll get a new one out just as soon as I can.


	6. Whatever Lies Beyond this Morning

(A/N) Well...I hope you enjoyed your fluff and cuddles, 'cuz now I'm gonna start comin' at you hard. Hang on to your lifelines, gents, it's gonna be a bumpy ride!

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 6: Whatever Lies Beyond This Morning_

"It's Thrawn," Alex said in response to the question no one had asked, but that was plainly hanging in the air.

"Aw, karabast," Zeb snarled, running a hand over his face.

"Can you just...ignore it?" Ezra wondered, the tone of his voice saying that he already knew the answer.

"If I don't respond to the hail, another agent will be dispatched to my last known location. And if they weren't suspicious before, they surely would be at that. I'm still- out of uniform. They will be suspicious either way. Who am I fooling?" he mumbled, more to himself at the last.

"Well...I guess we have to go with _my_ plan, then," Kanan said with a capricious smirk.

"And what plan is that?" Hera asked with a suspicious lift of her eyebrow.

"Ransom."

"And how, exactly, would we work ourselves out of that one?" Alex pressed. "They would _never_ pay for my return. The Empire doesn't operate like that."

"They don't _have_ to pay to get you back, not in credits, at least," the knight told him.

"What do you mean?"

"I have an idea. We're just gonna have to go with it. They're gonna need a more convincing excuse for your radio silence than static interference."

"I'm still- not sure about this," the former Imperial said haltingly. "The grand admiral will not be easily deceived."

"Have you got something else?"

"Well... _no_ , but-"

"You've _been_ deceivin' him these last few months, haven't you?" Rex pointed out. "Just keep doin' what you've _been_ doin'."

Well, he wasn't _wrong._ Alex supposed it was just difficult to explain to someone who had never gone toe to toe with the grand admiral. But from what he'd learned from his training days, and even more so in his time since becoming Fulcrum, the key to pulling off any kind of deception successfully was to find the grain of truth concealed within it. There would be no lie in attempting to conceal fear. That would be completely genuine, if not quite in the way Thrawn might think.

But would it be enough?

"All right," he agreed before he could talk himself out of it, passing his comlink to Kanan. "Do we actually _have_ a plan?"

"Eh, no more so than usual," the Jedi said with a shrug. "Hera, I want you to take Ari to your quarters. We need to keep her out of this as much as possible."

"Don't want me to handle negotiations?" the Twi'lek asked as she came to retrieve the kit from Alex.

"No. It's better if your 'underlings' handle this. It needs to look more spur of the moment than it is."

"This isn't spur of the moment? Really?" Alex deadpanned as he handed Arkalia over.

"Nope. This is our version of a plan," Ezra answered.

"No wonder I could never figure you out. All of my calculations and projections were built upon the base assumption that you were all competent, predictable soldiers," Alex told them, grinning despite the sour tone of his voice. "But, as it turns out, you're all just really, really _lucky_."

"Hey, I'd rather be lucky than good any day," Sabine put in. He wasn't sure when she'd retrieved her helmet, but there she was sporting it, just the same.

 _I suppose we'll find out how true it is._

"Rex, think you could manage a black eye?" Kanan asked the clone. Rex glanced sideways at Alex with a snicker.

"I don't think that'd be too hard."

"Just want it understood you're gettin' a wallop from me later," Zeb put in with a grunt.

"Oh?" Rex asked, raising an eyebrow in the Lasat's direction. "Would this be easier if _you_ did it, then?"

"We are _not_ asking Zeb to punch his SO," Hera scolded as she carried Arkalia onto the _Ghost_.

"So it's all right for _you_ _all_ to rough me up in the interest of acting, but it's _not_ all right for _me_ to do it to myself?" Alex clarified.

"Yeah, now you're startin' to get the idea," Zeb jibed.

"Honestly...I think I'd _prefer_ if _you_ did it," he said to the Lasat, glancing up at him with a small look of pleading. The look Zeb gave in return was mildly uncertain.

"You...you _sure?_ "

"Positive," he returned, steeling himself for the blow.

"All right," Zeb started, rolling his shoulders and giving his neck a showy crack, "but I'm gonna owe you a couple thousand kisses for this one."

"See me afterwards, Captain Orrelios. We can arrange a payment plan," he answered with a teasing smile, arms held wide, completely open for the hit.

"I'm sorry."

Despite the pain, Alex was relieved when Zeb gave him no more warning than that, getting it over with quickly. He stumbled back several feet, the pain of the hit thundering through his head, but he managed to stay upright. He did his best to contain any signs of pain, but he couldn't entirely help the small, pained grunt when the Lasat's fist connected with his face.

Zeb was by his side the instant it was over, taking him in his arms and brushing the loose hair back from his face to examine his eye. Alex couldn't guess what he saw, but whatever it was, Zeb breathed a sigh of relief before pressing a gentle kiss to the now throbbing skin.

"Gonna take a few minutes to show. Should give us just enough time to get set up."

"Thank you," Alex whispered against him, lifting his face up to catch Zeb in a brief kiss.

Zeb gave a small laugh as he looked down at him. "First time I've ever been _thanked_ for a shiner. First time for everythin', I guess."

"Indeed," Alex returned with a small smile. "We shall have to see that the next first is more pleasant."

"That a promise I'm hearin', agent?" Zeb asked with a smirk that had a hint of something _feral_ to it.

"Y'know, I'd tell you to get a room, but...that'd kinda leave me without one for the night," Ezra said with a grimace.

"We can worry about that later. We need to get up to the bridge," Kanan reminded them, leading the way back onto the ship. The trek was made in silence, which did nothing for Alex's nerves, just allowing time and focus for his worries to creep back in on him. When they finally arrived up on the bridge, he could hardly keep the tremor from his voice as he spoke.

"So how are we going to do this?"

"On your knees, Imperial," Zeb was suddenly growling in his ear and, all in an instant, he was right back in the thick of one of their performances, battling against the Lasat with the intent of being _closer_ to him, discovery and death no more than a heartbeat away. Uncertain how a moment could be at once terrifying and yet _so_ thrilling, Alexsandr Kallus dropped to his knees without thought, not even questioning when Zeb slipped a pair of binders around his wrists.

"Now I want the rest of you guys to keep back," Kanan advised them as he readied the still-beeping comm device. "I wanna try and get this sorted out on my own."

"But Kanan, just what is it you plan on asking them for?" Sabine hissed at him.

"You'll find out," he said right before activating the communication. A holographic image of Grand Admiral Thrawn instantly flickered into being above the device.

"Agent Kallus, I trust you have a fitting explanation for your whereabouts these last few days," the smooth voice of the grand admiral came over the line.

"Admiral-" Alex tried to call out, but was swiftly interrupted by a snarl from Zeb.

"Quiet, you Imperial _dog!_ "

"Oh, he has an explanation," Kanan took up the conversation just as smoothly. "I believe I have the... _honor_ of addressing Grand Admiral Thrawn of the Seventh Fleet."

The Chiss' red eyes narrowed for a moment as he surveyed the Jedi, but his expression quickly returned to neutral. "You are the Jedi of Spectre Cell, then. Kanan Jarrus, was it?"

"Yes, it was. And I'd say your agent's got a _very_ fitting explanation for his whereabouts, seeing as how he's been resisting interrogation. You'd have been very proud of Agent Kallus here. He's withstood very well."

"Not surprising. Our ISB agents _are_ trained to withstand interrogation, after all. Not so different from the Jedi, I believe."

Kanan's shoulders stiffened minutely at the grand admiral's words and Alex imagined that, if he could have, he would've been glaring at Thrawn. In this case, though, the lack of expression would likely work to his advantage. When he spoke again, it was with an evenness that nearly matched the Chiss' own. "Believe what you want, Thrawn, but I have yet to meet an Imperial who could truly comprehend what a Jedi is capable of, much less live up to it."

"As you will, Master Jedi, but as you are doubtless aware, the Empire does not strike bargains with criminals. If you had intended to bargain with this man's life, I will save you the embarrassment. Agent Kallus is a valuable asset, it is true. Humans of his caliber are difficult to find and an investment to train, but he is not...irreplaceable. He _knows_ this," the grand admiral said, gaze shifting from Kanan down to Alex. His only acknowledgement of the Chiss' statement was a small nod of understanding.

 _I know it. I know it too well._

"Oh, I'm aware. Believe me, he's been talking my ear off about your _policies_. If I didn't know better, I'd say the man _wanted_ me to kill him," Kanan said, throwing a smirk over his shoulder. "But here's the thing. I really don't _have_ to threaten his life for him to be a threat to you."

The grand admiral remained silent for several long moments, his face unreadable, before he finally came back with a single, simple demand.

"Explain."

"There's no point in killing him, except in maybe the satisfaction there'd be one less Imperial walking around. As it stands, he's of more use to us alive. You, on the other hand, might prefer him dead."

"And why is that?" the Chiss asked when Kanan didn't immediately elaborate.

"Everyone has a breaking point. Even Agent Kallus. And when we come to that point, just imagine what sort of secrets we could get on the inner workings of the Empire."

At this, Alex was almost surprised to see a shift in the grand admiral's expression. Not anything of concern, of course. This was _Thrawn_ , after all, but _any_ change in expression at all was verging on the miraculous. And in this case, it was a simple lift of the eyebrows, perhaps in interest over the tactic.

"Agent Kallus is not highly placed enough to be able to hand you anything of any value, even if you _do_ manage to break him."

"He's high enough," Kanan said firmly, and in the tone of his voice, Alex heard the words the Jedi _wasn't_ saying – that Thrawn would never perceive. Agent Alexsandr Kallus might not have been much in the eyes of the Empire, but he was enough – enough to ultimately bring their glorious new order crashing down around their ears. It was a testament to _him_ , and despite his fear, he couldn't help but feel somewhat warmed by Kanan's regard. "I think you know that."

"All right, Kanan Jarrus, you have my attention," Thrawn said, his tone shifting from simply cool to a level of frosty Alex was unused to hearing from him. "What is it you would demand in exchange for my agent?"

"Nothing you'd be unwilling to give, I think. All I want is information on a certain bounty hunter."

The shift to confusion among the rest of the crew was palpable in the air. Even Alex had no idea what the Jedi was playing at at this point. Just what was Kanan after?

Thrawn's only reaction was a slight widening of the eyes. "Really? You would give up all that you could gain from Agent Kallus for nothing more than information on one being?"

"It's an equivalent exchange, Admiral. Let's just say that this is very, _very_ important to me," Kanan declared, voice dropping marginally lower in challenge.

"Admiral, don't deal with this rebel scum," Alex snarled, figuring he shouldn't pass this entire exchange in unquestioning silence. "I won't break; I _swear it!_ I- _ach!_ " he was cut off by a tiny, pained cry when Zeb jerked his head harshly to the side.

"That's enough from _you_ ," the Lasat said warningly.

"Who is it you would ask information on, Jedi?" Thrawn pressed Kanan, plainly not in the mood for games.

"What can you tell me about a hunter with the surname Kuross?"

The name meant nothing to Alex, but it seemed to mean something to the grand admiral, as his right eyebrow rose sharply upon hearing it.

"It is of interest to me, Kanan Jarrus, that you would pose this question today of all days. Because you see, before today I would not have known the name. It has only recently come to my attention."

"In what way?"

"In the form of a tip that reached my vessel from the Allurian System," he told them, leaving room for his words to sink in. "A bounty hunter by the name of Giren Kuross filed a complaint that he had spotted a Lasat kit on the streets of Trion City."

Alex felt his blood run cold.

Giren.

That name he _did_ know – the man who had threatened them back on Alluria. He'd been foolish enough to believe that the run-in was just that, an incident that was over and done with. Only now it seemed Giren Kuross really _had_ gone through the local authorities, and now Arkalia might be in even _more_ danger because of his mistake.

The former Imperial was only brought back to the present moment by the strength of Zeb's grip on his shoulder.

"If I may, Master Jedi, why is it you seek information on this man?"

"That's not part of the negotiation," Kanan hissed back. "This is a one-way street. Kallus for what you know. Now what do you have on Giren Kuross?"

"The number of coincidences piling up in this incident were becoming quite staggering, so I've had Kuross' record called up. He is a native Melida and it seems he rose to underworld prominence during the Clone Wars for being more hunter than bounty hunter. He contracted with wealthy Coruscanti to hunt for them alien 'trophies'. It seems he makes little distinction between sentient and non. He was brought up on charges for at least fifty counts of murder by the war's end. But then the previous regime collapsed and Kuross' skills became useful to the Empire, so the charges against him were dropped."

"And now? What is he up to these days?"

"Well, with the Wookiees pacified and the Lasat largely extinct," Thrawn continued, though his gaze briefly flicked to Zeb, drawing a low growl from the former guardsman, "Kuross appears to contract almost exclusively with Black Sun at the moment. He has not been known to be greatly active of late, but I can see where the company you keep would draw some concern over whether that status were to change. Was the man _correct_ in his belief that beings of interest to him escaped the action on Alluria?" the Chiss asked at the last, his manner having shifted back to his typical level of control.

Kanan shook his head. "One way street, Admiral. The only thing you're getting from this exchange is your agent. But I do have one more question regarding Kuross. Does he have any ties to Manaan?"

"I should think so, given that many of his listed clients avail themselves of the capital city's many luxury amenities. I would ask why this is of interest to you, but by now I know what answer I shall receive. Is this sufficient for your purposes?" the grand admiral asked with a fresh narrowing of his eyes.

"It is."

"And will you be releasing Agent Kallus, as per your word?"

"I will be. I'm not one to go back on my word. Well...not lightly anyway," the knight added, a slight twist of his lips the only indication of his typical attitude. "But I'm doing it in my own way. So I wouldn't recommend sending any pesky detachments our way. If you do, the deal's off. Kallus'll be in touch in another rotation," he finished before cutting the connection.

Every single one of them breathed a sigh of relief as they slumped out of the tenseness with which they'd all been holding themselves.

"Kanan," Sabine began as she slipped her helmet off, "that was either the single ballsiest thing you've ever done, or the craziest."

"Yeah, that tends to happen a lot on this ship," the Jedi said with a pained laugh. "Only...Kallus, why didn't you tell us somebody had seen Arkalia?"

"I truly didn't believe he had," Alex explained as Zeb freed him from the binders, helping him back to his feet. "There was no way he saw me; my face was too well-concealed. But Arkalia, it- it couldn't have been anymore than a paw he glimpsed, certainly not enough to file an official report."

"And lucky for us it wasn't, otherwise there'd be a fresh detachment already here. From what I can tell about Kuross, he's obsessed. Even the slightest resemblance to his prey of choice and he'll pursue it," Kanan said.

"What _was_ all that stuff about Kuross and Manaan anyway?" Ezra asked his master. "Have you two met before?"

Kanan shook his head. "I haven't met him before...but I know him. I know his type. It was something I saw...when I was out with Ari the other day."

"Wait, you had a _vision?_ " Ezra pressed him. "Why didn't you say anything?"

"Later, Ezra," the Jedi scolded mildly. "Right now, I think we need to help Kallus work up a timeline for these last couple days so all the stories line up."

Sabine, Ezra, and Chopper all began to chatter eagerly amongst themselves as they headed in the direction of the common room, already planning the epic battle that had _supposedly_ happened between the rebels and the ISB agent. Rex eyed the three men a moment before following after them.

"You all right?" Zeb was suddenly murmuring in his ear, the soft nearness of his breath tickling pleasantly against Alex's face.

"Of course," he said as he twined their fingers together, raising their two hands between them before pressing a tender kiss to the corner of the Lasat's mouth. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For staying by my side. For sticking with me through this madness. For _punching me_ when the need arises," he returned with a small laugh.

"Hey, it's gonna take more than creepy grand admirals and crazy bounty hunters to scare _me_ off," Zeb promised, grinning as he nuzzled his face against Alex's cheek.

"Zeb, you can go on ahead. I want to talk to Alexsandr alone real quick," Kanan interrupted before their display could progress much farther.

Zeb's gaze darted between them a moment before he ultimately shrugged. "Don't let him scare you," he said to Alex, pressing one last kiss to his lips before heading after the earlier procession.

"So what was it Ezra meant about visions?" Alex finally asked as he turned his full attention back to the Jedi.

"It's difficult to explain," Kanan answered with a sigh. "The visions we receive through the Force...the things we _see_...some things are certain, but other things... _most_ things...it's impossible to know. Fate's not carved out in stone. The future can turn on the smallest thing. Even _I_ didn't understand a lot of what I saw because I had no context for it."

"But- what you _did_ see...it involved this Giren Kuross somehow?" Alex pressed.

"Some of it."

"Then was it a mistake? For me not to engage him when I could have? Not to eliminate him?"

Again, Kanan sighed. "I can't tell you that. There's no _way_ I could make that kind of judgement based on the flicker of a future that may not even happen."

"Will he hurt them?" Alex demanded fervently, knowing he didn't need to tell Kanan what he meant.

Kanan crossed his arms over his chest, shoulders slumping minutely in defeat. "I can't speak for Arkalia, but if this future remains unchanged, then he _will_ hurt Zeb."

Alex sneered as he looked to the floor, even though he didn't really _need_ to look away from the Jedi. "Then perhaps it's time for the hunter to become the hunted."

"You can't do that," Kanan warned him, his absent gaze still somehow bearing so much weight. "This man still contracts with the Empire. How would you explain your sudden animosity?"

"You've been working with Zeb and the young ones too long, Kanan. There are more _subtle_ ways of dealing with problems," Alex pointed out, and despite the growing hate he could feel for this man he'd seen all of once, he was still unnerved by the strengthening cold in his own voice.

"Oh, I _get_ that, but how do you know removing Giren Kuross from the equation won't make things _worse?_ " Kanan reminded him, moving in close until he could rest a hand on his shoulder. "You can't base choices like this on a _vision_. If what I saw _does_ happen, it's nothing Zeb can't handle."

"You're certain?" he asked, looking back up at Kanan, even though the knight wouldn't know it.

"Yes. He can handle a lot. You just have to trust him."

Alex gave a long sigh at that, remaining silent for several moments before nodding. "Well...that much I _know_ I can do. I would've been dead long ago if I couldn't trust him. Though, I suppose I should ask what's important about Manaan. You did take a terrible risk in letting Thrawn know of your interest in the place."

"I know I did, but for that one I can't say with any certainty. I only know that something may happen there. And if it does, I'm going to give you the advance warning to watch yourself. I don't want Zeb tearing his fur out."

To him, then. Something was going to happen to _him_ on Manaan. Well, he could be careful. He would just have to be discreet in trying to learn if there was anything on the inner rim world worth the Rebellion's time.

"Of course, well...I should be getting ready to leave. I would hate to cause you all any more trouble than I already have."

"Nope, nope. Don't give me that. I bought you one last night and you're going to use it. Head down and plot with the others. Hera and I'll be along."

"All right," Alex conceded, knowing he was hearing something significant in the knight's voice, but not sure what that something was. He would have to mention it to Zeb later.

Just as soon as Kallus was out of sight, Kanan made his way down to Sabine's room. He knew Hera had seen him go by on her way out of her quarters, so she wasn't going to be all that far behind, and indeed, by the time he'd reached Arkalia's cradle, he could feel the Twi'lek's warm, steady presence no more than a meter or so behind him.

"The ruse went well, I take it," she said as she stepped further into the room, the sounds of Arkalia contentedly chewing on some toy or other accompanying her movements.

"Definitely did," he said as he laid a hand down on Sabine's latest masterpiece, letting his fingers glide over the now familiar painted lines. "Thrawn shouldn't ask _too_ many questions. Though I _did_ have to run the risk of putting both him _and_ Kallus on the scent of Manaan."

"Well...whatever it is, you _did_ say Alex would come through it all right. Didn't you?" she asked as she came to stand beside him, the only one so far who knew about the specifics of his visions in the forest.

"Yes, but that could change. _Too_ easily. And if it ends up being _me_ who put him on that path...I don't know if I could forgive myself...if _Zeb_ could forgive me," he said, briefly gripping the cradle frame in painfully tight hands.

"You did what you had to today," Hera soothed him, resting a hand on his shoulder. "No one can ask more than that. Alex would understand. So would Zeb...given time."

"Ah la la," Arkalia babbled in a way that almost said to the Jedi that she agreed with his captain – his love. Then, with a particularly energetic squeal, she reached over to lay a single soft paw beside Hera's hand and, in that moment, with both their hands resting on him and his own resting on the cradle, Kanan was stricken with another moment of sight.

He was standing in Sabine's room, but it wasn't the current moment. The flicker of a gaze around the room told him there were new paintings among the young Mandalorian's myriad of works. Among them, he was happy to see a small cartoon-like image of Zeb and Kallus with Arkalia's smiling face just beneath them. There was a particularly striking portrait of Rex and Ahsoka just above her door, but before the Jedi could examine it any detail, his eyes were drawn to the cradle still in the room.

Of course, he couldn't help but take in every detail of the tiny bed that Sabine had so lovingly painted to store away in his heart, but what most captured his gaze was the cradle's current occupant.

A baby boy slept soundly within the cradle. Beneath the hood of his loth cat pajamas, Kanan could just glimpse a swatch of emerald green hair. The baby yawned widely before blinking awake, a pair of striking crystal blue eyes gazing up at him – eyes he found himself thinking looked eerily familiar.

Whose child _was_ this? If he was the next occupant of Arkalia's cradle, he belonged to one of the Spectres, but it wasn't the eyes of any of his shipmates he recognized in the little boy. Was he Sabine's son? With the green hair, it wouldn't surprise him, but it wasn't _her_ eyes looking up at him from the cradle – and those eyes _were_ looking at him. Despite the impossibility of it, there was no mistaking their gaze.

"Can you... _see me?_ " he wondered faintly, reaching a hand down to stroke the air just beside the baby boy's cheek. If he was strong with the Force...maybe Ezra's son?

No.

Before he could think on it any further, the baby suddenly burst out in a yowling fit, crying as if the universe were coming to an end. Almost immediately, none other than Alexsandr Kallus swept into the room.

"It's all right. It's all right. I've got it," he called over his shoulder before moving to scoop the squalling baby into his arms. "Jacen, what's the matter?"

He wasn't in Imperial dress anymore and he seemed to have let his hair grow out a bit. He smiled easily as he cradled the baby boy against his chest, rocking him gently.

"We're fine. We're fine," he repeated several times, beginning to walk the length of the room, dropping several kisses on top of the little boy's head. "I know I'm not your mother, but I promise she'll be back tonight. You're fine," he continued to soothe, and after a time, when Jacen still wouldn't settle, he began to sing the Lasana lullaby that Zeb would apparently teach him the words to.

Kanan couldn't explain it. This was a precious sight. By rights, he should've felt his heart warmed by it. Only he didn't.

He felt sorrow. A hollowing, aching _sadness_ gripped at his heart as he watched Kallus with the baby. An anguish he couldn't in any way account for clawed viciously at his chest, desperate for release. When he was thrust violently back into darkness, it was to find himself on his knees beside the cradle, hands gripping desperately at the sides as his body trembled.

"Kanan!" Hera had been calling to him in worry. "Kanan, what is it? Are you all right? Why are you crying?"

Crying? Had he been? Of course. Just because he couldn't shed tears didn't mean he couldn't cry. And as he took stock of himself, it was to find his throat tight and his chest heaving with the struggle of not letting too much noise escape.

"I...I _don't know,_ " he only just managed to choke the words out before a fresh wave of low, guttural sobs seized at him, his shoulders shaking fiercely with every ragged breath he drew.

Hera didn't press anymore than that. Still holding Arkalia in one arm, she pulled Kanan into her other arm, holding him close against her breast and just letting him cry. While she ran her fingers through his hair, she murmured soothing nothings to him in her own language. After a time, she slipped his mask off and began to press kisses to his temple and the top of his head. When he'd finally cried himself out, he just let himself rest in her embrace, his breathing gradually returning to normal.

"You're too good to me...my captain," he said softly, briefly raising his head to meet one of her kisses. Hera laughed quietly into the gentle press of lips.

"I can't pretend to understand all of what you and Ezra go through, but I can at least be here for you," she said, their heads coming to rest easily together.

"Ar _raaaa_ ," Arkalia trilled eagerly, the sudden motion against Hera's side telling Kanan that the kit was squirming.

"Oh. Heheh, I think she wants you, love," the pilot said with a small giggle.

Kanan said nothing, just smiled and held out his arms for the baby girl, the smile widening as she quickly curled herself up against his chest. He didn't know who the cradle's next occupant would be, but maybe that didn't matter so terribly much just now. Their little family already had a perfectly wonderful, perfect handful of a kit to look after right now. The future would come in its own time, and when Arkalia reached up to tug on his beard, he found himself thinking he might just need the extra time to prepare for it.

XxX

Kanan and Hera hadn't returned to the others until Kanan had felt completely in control of himself once more. Once all of the plotting had been taken care of, the rest of the evening was passed in calm and quiet, which was somewhat unusual for the little family, but none of them were exactly complaining. Once the others had all gone to bed, the Jedi and the pilot retired to Hera's quarters for the night.

They maintained separate rooms out of habit, and they passed the nights in each other's quarters only about half the time, but Hera found herself wondering if it might not become a more permanent situation when Alex joined their crew for keeps. After all, Ezra had long been needing his own space and she had no doubt it wouldn't take long for Zeb and Alex to want a space to themselves. But thoughts of her little family were soon far and away when Kanan began to ease her clothing from her body, pressing a kiss to every centimeter of her suddenly too hot and tingling skin he revealed.

He made love to her gently that night. Theirs was a love life that ran the gamut from the straightforward to the hot and heavy. They'd even been known to dabble in a little role play and the occasional bit of bondage play when they'd been able to get the time alone. Tonight was gentle, though – gentle and simple. The pair of them moving together in perfect unison on Hera's bed until the light of the stars burst between them, leaving them gasping in each other's arms.

Though they sometimes talked afterward, they didn't tonight. Just held each other until Kanan fell asleep in her arms, head resting upon the sheen of sweat on her breast. Hera herself didn't feel sleepy, though, so after an hour or so of attempting to fall asleep, she eased herself from Kanan's embrace, leaving him lying deep asleep on her bed. She couldn't quite help but enjoy the perfect display of his sculpted chest and arms as she slipped into her sleep pants and top. Though she'd had her tongue on those muscles hardly more than an hour ago and they were nearly as familiar to her as her own, she still sometimes found herself struck with the giddiness of a school girl with a crush at the thought of just how beautiful this man, her knight, really was.

Shaking her head at herself, she slipped out of the room, enjoying the shift from the still-heated, humid air of her quarters to the much cooler air of the rest of the ship. Making her way to the rest of the crew quarters, she was happy to find that Sabine's room wasn't sealed for the night. Entering quietly, she wasn't entirely surprised to find Sabine sound asleep, but Arkalia wide awake, actually sitting up on her own in the cradle.

Wondering if this was the first time the kit had done this, Hera offered her a tilted smile before coming to lift her from the cradle. Arkalia gave several contented purrs as Hera carried her from the room, closing the door behind her before making her way up to the bridge.

Chopper beeped at her from where he was plugged into his charging station.

"Couldn't sleep," she offered up as she moved to sit in her pilot's chair with Arkalia cradled easily in her arms. "And it looks like I wasn't the only one."

Chopper's dome spun in a circle several times as he gave his typical series of _very_ low whirrs, making it quite plain what he was talking about.

"Yes. A _very_ good time," she replied with a laugh and a very pointed smirk. Chopper responded with a higher pitched whistle. "No, you won't need to do any extra cleanup this time."

Chopper shifted about in the station, tapping at the _Ghost's_ hull with a manipulator arm.

"I can't imagine they'd _want_ you to, Chop. Besides, I'm pretty sure Zeb can handle his own post-coital grooming. And Alex, well...I really just can't imagine him as anything _less_ than perfectly groomed."

To that, the little astromech almost seemed to vibrate, beeping several times in put upon annoyance.

"Sorry to disappoint you, but Alex is just as hot for it as the rest of us sticky organics. I really don't know how to explain it to you. I guess the closest I can come is that it's a bit like when you get zapped by an overloaded circuit. I've heard you say you enjoy that sometimes. It's that moment just _before_ it's too much, _before_ it's painful," she mused.

Chopper's warbling reached a very clearly annoyed pitch as he deployed both manipulators in a distinct 'Maker give me strength' fashion.

"Yeah," Hera agreed with a distant smile as she looked down at Arkalia. "I guess that is pretty typical organic, but unlike droids, we aren't just put together on an assembly line. Making organic beings is a whole lot...messier," she said, jiggling the smiling baby.

That one earned a series of whistles from the droid before he detached from his station entirely, trundling over to stand at her side.

"No, _they_ didn't, but somebody had to," she said, chucking the kit under the chin. "Somebody put this cute little ball of fluff together. I'm pretty sure those two _would_ if they could. Maybe they'll look into something...when the fighting's done," she said quietly, her voice slowly drifting off. It was a nice thought, but she honestly wasn't sure she believed there _was_ a time when the fighting was done.

Chopper gave several more whirrs as he rolled into Hera's more direct line of sight, his antenna swinging in several loops before pointing at Arkalia.

"What? Me and Kanan?" she returned with a bemused yet thoughtful look, her gaze slowly shifting back down to the kit. "I don't know. I never gave it much thought before. Sabine and Ezra were already enough of a handful."

Arkalia trilled pleasantly as Hera offered her a finger to chew on. She gripped the pilot's hand with both of her tiny paws, holding tightly while she chewed with her stubby milk teeth. Hera really couldn't help her own grin at the sight of the baby's smile, but there was also a grain of sadness budding behind that grin.

"It just- seems like the _opposite_ of what you want to do," she said, suddenly struggling to keep the smile in place. "Bring such a tiny, helpless thing into the galaxy when you're living so rough...when any rotation really could be your last. What kind of life is that for a child?"

Chopper's single, medium-ranged warble wasn't accompanied by any other noise or movement, and Hera couldn't even pretend not to have understood it.

 _It was **your** life._

"I know it was," she said in mild exasperation, fighting to get her expression back to a more neutral place. "Don't you think I want to be able to give my children better than my parents were ever able to give me? Before Kanan, I- I didn't even think I'd ever want children. I saw what it did to my mother...losing Bek," she said, sharply cutting off the memory of the tiny child whose lekku had never even had a chance to grow in. When a few tears escaped her eyes, she had to take her hand back from Arkalia to wipe them away. "Is it worth it?" she asked, more of herself than of the two beings who couldn't really answer her. "Is it worth the risk of that kind of pain...just to see a baby smiling up at you?"

Chopper had no answer to offer, but he did roll a little closer to her, laying a manipulator over the hand that was nervously flitting about the baby Lasat in a quest for something, _anything_ , that she could improve for her. But there was nothing. Arkalia was perfectly happy, smiling up at her as she grabbed her fingers in her tiny paws. With Chopper finally convincing her to calm down and Arkalia offering her nothing but pure, uninhibited joy, there was really only one answer to her question.

"Yes. I guess it is. It _must_ be," she said with a small laugh, letting a few more of her tears fall freely as Arkalia cooed up at her.

Thoughts of her mother had called back memories for the pilot, memories of some of the songs she used to sing. Thinking up the words to one of them, she softly began to sing to the little kit, adding to the growing collection of lullabies they had for her.

 _Dream by night_

 _Wish by day_

 _Love begins this way_

 _Loving starts when open hearts_

 _Touch and stay_

 _Sleep for now_

 _Dreaming's how_

 _Lovers' lives are planned_

 _Future songs and flying dreams_

 _Hand in hand_

 _Love, it seems_

 _Made flying dreams_

 _So hearts could soar_

 _Heaven sent_

 _These wings were meant_

 _To prove once more_

 _That love is the key_

By the time she'd finished singing, Arkalia had drifted off to sleep, a peaceful smile lighting her feline features. She'd become aware of Kanan's presence on the bridge somewhere in the middle of the song, so when she dropped a kiss on Arkalia's forehead she wasn't at all surprised to feel his arms slipping around them.

"I think we've all been surprised lately...to learn what good singers we are," he said as he pressed a kiss to her cheek.

"Maybe starting a choir isn't so far off the mark. Did I wake you?"

"Not so much _you_ as the _lack_ of you. Bed's too big without you. Think you've finally talked everything out enough to get some sleep yourself?" he asked.

"Probably, though I can't help but notice your bare arms wrapped around me right now," she pointed out. "I _really_ hope you put pants on to come looking for me. The young ones have been traumatized enough this week."

"Well...that's just something you'll have to find out when you stand up."

XxX

 _ _The first thing he becomes aware of is that he can't move.__

 _ _The taste of ash and blast residue is heavy on his tongue, tinged with the unsettling copper tang of blood. His first instinct is to call out, but he immediately resists. There might still be hostiles in the area. But- what about the others? The boys? Kuron? Anasch? Are they all right? What's happening?__

 _ _His breath catches in his throat when he hears a scream echo through the trees, quickly dying away into a hideous gurgling sound. Trance! That was__ _ _ **Trance!**__

 _ _He struggles to turn his head toward the sound, but he can barely even manage that. What his eyes finally behold through the smoke and the fire is a sight he__ _ _ **knows**__ _ _he will never forget.__

 _ _The Lasat.__

 _ _ **He's**__ _ _the one__ _–_ _ _the mercenary they've been searching for. He'd taken them completely by surprise. And now...now...__

 _ _The first figure the Lasat stops at is barely recognizable, face mangled and bathed in blood. It's more a mercy when the Lasat shoots him through the head.__

 _ _ **Tenar.**__

 _ _The Lasat continues on, calmly and silently, to the next of the downed soldiers. Alex can see the blood-matted shock of blonde hair that signifies it's one of the girls__ _–_ _ _Anasch. When she tries to move, to crawl away, the mercenary raises a single prehensile foot and slams it down on her chest, pinning her to the dirt.__

 _ _"No...no...oh, stars,__ _ _ **please!**__ _ _" she begs for her life at the end, fingers desperately but ineffectually clawing at that monstrous foot. A single shot finishes off the youngest member of his squad.__

 _ _Forcing his arm up past agony and injury, he draws his comlink up to his mouth.__

 _ _"K- Kuron? Orha? Do you-__ _ _ **copy?**__ _ _" he grinds out, struggling to remain conscious. If he passes out again, he's dead.__

 _ _But the Lasat seems not to hear him. He continues his unperturbed trek through the flames toward his next victim. Alex can't make them out, can't see who's in the creature's sights.__

 _ _"Kuron! Orha!__ _ _ **Please**__ _ _...please respond," he begs. They're all that's left.__

 _ _When the Lasat comes upon the next soldier, he's too injured to try to escape. Orha raises the only hand he has left, pleading.__

 _ _"Mercy...mercy...please..."__

 _ _But there__ _ _ **is**__ _ _no mercy in this creature. He only snarls gleefully as he sends several rounds of superheated plasma through Orha's chest.__

 _ _"Sergeant...I copy," Kuron's voice suddenly comes to him through the comlink, shaken and whispering, but still alive.__

 _ _"Kuron," he hisses over the link. "Where are you?"__

 _ _"I can see you," she rasps out. "Got some cover, but not for long. He's coming."__

 _ _"Kuron- you need...to retreat. You're the only one left. Get back to command. Tell them- what's happened."__

 _ _"Alex...Sergeant," she starts in a tone that tells him she's about to do something very brave and very foolish. "Klaidi's dead...isn't she."__

 _ _"Yes," he whispers, actually feeling tears sting at the corners of his eyes. "I'm sorry."__

 _ _"__ _ _ **He**__ _ _killed her."__

 _ _"Yes."__

 _ _"I have a shot, Sergeant," she returns, something in her voice going cold, dying even as he listens to her speak. "I'm taking it."__

 _ _"Neg- negative...Kuron," he struggles to argue with her. "Do not engage. Just go! Get out of here."__

 _ _"No," she says, voice soft but more certain than he's ever heard it. "He killed Klaidi. I__ _ _ **can't**__ _ _...just walk away."__

 _ _"I gave you- a direct order...Alita," he snarls, fighting to move, but still to no avail. "I am__ _ _ **sorry**__ _ _...for Klaidi's death...but getting your__ _ _ **self**__ _ _killed is__ _ _ **not**__ _ _going to bring her back. Obey my orders! You've__ _ _ **got**__ _ _to retreat!"__

 _ _"It's been an honor, Sir."__

 _ _"Alita,__ _ _ **NO!**__ _ _"__

 _ _But there's nothing he can do to stop her stepping out from her cover and firing on the Lasat. He doesn't know how likely it would've been that she could make it back to base with how badly burned the left side of her body is, but he will never know for certain. It doesn't make it any easier to watch her go down.__

 _ _The Lasat takes a hit, but it's ultimately Alita who ends up on her knees with a single plasma burn through her chest, trembling and struggling for breath as she defiantly looks her killer in the eye. The mercenary laughs as he takes aim at her.__

 _ _"A shame, this," he says. "You might be the only real warrior in this lot."__

 _ _"Just go to Hell...__ _ _ **monster,**__ _ _" she growls at him.__

 _ _Letting out an enraged roar, the Lasat takes the last shot, but then he turns and sneers down at Alex.__

 _ _"You want to know why I didn't kill you."__

 _ _ **This...this isn't...**__

 _ _Without another word, the mercenary strides toward him, wrapping a single hand around his throat and lifting him up off the ground. Alex chokes out a tiny cry, fingers scrabbling at the Lasat's fist.__

 _ _"At least Alita died like a warrior should. You? You are nothing. You aren't even worth the energy it would take to end your pathetic little life. You couldn't protect your squad. You can't protect the Spectres. You can't even protect the__ _ _ **Lasat**__ _ _," the mercenary hisses in his face as he squeezes the air from his lungs. "You will be the__ _ _ **death**__ _ _of them. No matter what you do, you can't__ _ _ **help**__ _ _but kill Lasat."__

 _ _"No..." he whispers, tears pouring freely down his face. "__ _ _ **No**__ _ _..."__

 _ _"They'll come for her, you know. Your precious little child, and your captain. They will come for them the way__ _ _ **you**__ _ _came for Lasan, and they will put them to the blaster. You will have to__ _ _ **watch them die**__ _ _, and again you will be too weak to stop it. So what are you, if you aren't strong enough to protect what matters most?"__

 _ _ **I am...nothing.**__

 _ _ **But...if I am nothing...then I have nothing left to lose.**__

 _ _And it's with that thought that something inside of him just__ _ _ **snaps.**__

 _ _With a roar to match the Lasat's in ferocity, he's seizing his enemy's bo-rifle in his own hands, impaling the larger being on the suddenly electrified bayonet. Though grunting in pain, the Lasat sneers victoriously at him.__

 _ _"Knew it. Give the man enough rope, as they say."__

 _ _"You__ _ _ **talk too much!**__ _ _" he snarls before shifting the rifle's output to maximum, instantly frying his opponent.__

 _ _ **You cannot escape it,**__ _ _a voice comes to him from everywhere and nowhere all at once__ _–_ _ _a voice that's an unsettling blend of the Lasat and Thrawn.__ _ _ **You will bring them despair. All you can do is destroy.**__

 _ _"__ _ _ **SHUT UP!**__ _ _" he screams, firing into the smoke, searching for the unknown assailant. But he's alone__ _–_ _ _alone and surrounded by enemies.__

 _ _ **Cut them down!**__

 _ _"Hey, Kallus, are you-"__

 _ _He fires before he can question himself, and the plasma bolt strikes true this time__ _–_ _ _directly into Ezra Bridger's heart.__

 _ _Alex cries out in shock as he watches the young Jedi fall. Ezra looks up at him with heartbroken eyes.__

 _ _"Kallus..."__

 _ _"I...no! I- I didn't mean t-"__

 _ _ **Kill them all.**__

 _ _"Ezra!" Kanan's horrified voice sounds from somewhere in the smoke and mist. When he appears, running to his student's aid, it happens again. Kallus fires before he can stop himself.__

 _ _"NO!" he cries out when the knight goes down.__

 _ _"Alexsandr," the Jedi accuses as his mask falls away, the blind stare somehow a thousand times worse than if the man had actually been looking at him. "Why?"__

 _ _"No! Kanan, please-"__

 _ _ **Show no mercy.**__

 _ _"__ _ _ **Kanan!**__ _ _"__

 _ _Hera's horrified cry is somehow more heart-wrenching than the first two. When he turns to fire on her, it's with tears spilling down his face.__

 _ _The Twi'lek says nothing when she falls, just looks at him with eyes that contain every last ounce of disappointment the galaxy's ever held.__

 _ _ **Strike them down! Every last one!**__

 _ _"__ _ _ **DAMN YOU!**__ _ _" Sabine shrieks, her eyes mad with grief as she comes at him like a beast. She goes down no less violently. He wants to scream, to gouge his own eyes out. He wants to toss the horrid weapon away, but it's like before. If he lets go, even for an instant, his heart will shatter.__

 _ _"Alex?"__

 _ _"No. Please, no...__ _ _ **please,**__ _ _" he begs of the universe, of the Force, the Ashla,__ _ _ **anyone**__ _ _who will still listen, as he slowly turns to face Garazeb Orrelios. "Please don't make me."__

 _ _The look the former guardsman gives him is infinitely tender. There's unfathomable sorrow in his expression as well, but all it seems to do is accentuate the__ _ _ **love**__ _ _in Zeb's eyes. He does nothing to defend himself, just holds his arms out wide, welcoming his death...whenever Alexsandr Kallus should see fit to deliver it.__

 _ _"No...no..." he whispers over and over again as he raises the bo-rifle to fire. His hands are shaking badly, but he knows the shot will fly true. "Zeb...__ _ _ **please**__ _ _...just run."__

 _ _"I'm not gonna leave you. Not like this."__

 _ _"Zeb...my Zeb...__ _ _ **ni alitha**__ _ _...please," he begs, because there's nothing else he__ _ _ **can**__ _ _do. For a moment, he sees the red glow of Thrawn's eyes, flickering in the smoke beyond his lover.__

 _ _ **Good soldiers follow orders.**__

 _ _"Zeb-"__

 _ _ **Kill him.**__

 _ _"I love you," the Lasat tells him, never once breaking eye contact.__

 _ _"__ _ _ **Why?**__ _ _" he whispers as he pulls the trigger.__

XxX

Zeb had already decided he wasn't going to sleep long before the other Spectres had even started talking about bed. Alex needed his sleep, of course, but if this was going to be their last night for who knew how long, he didn't want to miss a second of holding the human. He was greedy and selfish and desperate, but he _needed_ every moment he could have – every _second_ he could capture before it was gone. He needed the beat of the other man's heart and the space between each breath. He needed the warm and real feeling of him in his arms. He needed the scent of his hair and the taste of his sweat. He needed to know that he wasn't off on a star destroyer somewhere risking execution for the sake of people he'd never even met.

And if he lost a little sleep over getting what he needed, well, nobody else had to be the wiser.

It wasn't difficult to stay awake after Alex and Ezra had gone to sleep. He had practice enough keeping awake for night watch. It was only too easy to sink into the meditative state of half-consciousess, focusing that remaining awareness on the human sleeping in his arms. It wasn't something he was ever likely to say out loud, but holding Alex like that, just breathing him in and being able to see him at peace, not having to worry for his safety...it was the closest he'd ever come to true paradise. He knew he hadn't been this at peace with himself, this _happy_ , since a long time before Lasan fell.

Of course, that sort of bliss couldn't possibly last forever.

Zeb first began to notice it in the deepest hours of the night, when Alex's breathing began to quicken, becoming erratic and harsh. This was soon followed by several small whimpers.

"Zeb?" Ezra's hesitant voice sounded from overhead. "I think he's having another nightmare."

"Yeah," Zeb agreed softly, not sure if it had yet become bad enough that he needed to wake the former Imperial. While he hated the thought of Alex suffering, even in the smallest capacity, he _did_ still need sleep.

"It...I think it's bad," the young Jedi said with what sounded like a tiny sniffle.

"No. Please, no... _please_ ," Alex cried out helplessly in his sleep, and when he shifted suddenly to face more in Zeb's direction, he could see the faintest hints of tear tracks on his cheeks, barely visible in the dim light.

"Alex," he started, trying to shake him gently. But before he could make any progress, the door to their quarters slid open, revealing Kanan and Rex out in the corridor. Rex, on watch, was still clothed, but Kanan was only in sleep pants.

"What's wrong?" the knight pressed, features twisted in worry.

"Bad dreams. I been tryin' to wake him," Zeb explained just before another desperate plea entered their ears.

"Good soldiers follow orders."

Zeb would have turned back to Alex to continue his efforts to wake him, except that something shifted drastically in Rex's expression upon hearing those words. His eyes widened in shock and he shook his head faintly, taking a step back before he managed to master himself again.

"Rex?" Zeb started in confusion.

The clone squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, slowly shaking his head. "Aw, Fives," he muttered in a voice thick with regret and sorrow, and when he opened his eyes again, there was only pity in them.

"Rex, wha-"

Whatever Ezra had been about to say was cut off by the sound of a tortured scream.

The wordless sound nearly sent Zeb into a panic of his own. It was only years of conditioning that led him to tighten his hold on Alex rather than jerk away from him. He hadn't heard a scream like that since...well...since Lasan. Forcing the thought away, he pinned Alex to the bunk, trying to keep him from hurting himself as he struggled to escape from the demons in his own head. And after a time, one word _did_ manage to come through the horrific noise.

" _Zeb! ZEB! ZEB, WHY!_ "

"Alex, _wake up!_ " he snarled desperately, a small kernel of guilt seeding in his heart at apparently being the cause of this. "It's all right! You're all right! _Please_ wake up."

When Alex finally stilled in his arms, the human looked up at him slowly, eyes wide and breathing harsh as tears streamed down his face.

"Zeb?" he whispered in a strangled voice.

"You're okay," Zeb soothed him, leaning in to press a tender kiss to his forehead.

"No... _no_ ," Alex struggled to explain. "It's not- not _me_."

Then, from down the hall, a shrill, angry baby wail sounded from behind Sabine's door.

"Lia," Alex started in muted realization, trying to disentangle himself from Zeb. "Arkalia-"

"No you don't," Zeb snarled fiercely, taking hold of the former Imperial once more. "You're not going anywhere until you _calm down_."

Alex didn't argue and it was that, more than anything, that told Zeb just how _badly_ he'd been shaken by the night terror. He curled in on himself, pressing his body as closely against the Lasat's as he could manage. Zeb just cradled him against his chest, crooning softly in Lasana while the wetness of the other man's tears gradually soaked through his jumpsuit. He doubted the others even knew he was still crying. Alex was silent as he wept, but his tears were no less heartbreaking to Zeb for that. He wished he could make whatever was hurting his _alitha_ stop, but there was only so much he could do against this unseen enemy.

Glancing helplessly over his shoulder, he saw that Hera and Sabine had joined Rex and Kanan in the doorway. Sabine had mostly managed to calm Arkalia, but the kit was still clearly unsettled, feet waving anxiously in the air. To a one, the other four all carried looks of pity in their faces. Shaking his head, he turned his full attention back to the trembling human in his arms. Letting out a deep, thrumming purr to soothe them both, he pressed several kisses to the top of his head before tucking Alex's face against the curve of his neck. All the while, Garazeb Orrelios asked himself the question that had no answer.

 _How can I let you go back...when you're still suffering like this?_

XxX

The sun was shining when the little family parted ways.

Sleep had not come easily for the rest of the night, but mostly they'd managed it, and when they'd emerged from the _Ghost_ in the morning, it was as if the past few days of rain had never happened.

Crawling back into his uniform had been even more of an endurance trial for Alex this second time than it had been only a week ago. The material encased his body like a straitjacket, binding him in upon himself. It took him several moments to remember how to breathe again once everything was in place.

He said his goodbyes to the Spectres as a whole, with admonishments to take care of himself, not to do anything stupid, and to give the Empire hell. He, in turn, told them all quite firmly not to die. It was a mostly light-hearted farewell, kept sweet and simple to avoid the heavier issues weighing on all of their lives, but then the crew left him, Zeb, and Arkalia alone to make their goodbyes to each other.

"I don't want you to stick this out any longer than you feel like you can," Zeb told him, the breeze off the river playing with his beard as he shifted Arkalia into one arm. Reaching out with his now free hand, he gripped Alex's hand tightly in his. He offered the former guardsman a weary smile as he twined their fingers together.

"I will do what I _have_ _to_ , Garazeb."

"I _know_ you will," Zeb growled, meeting his eyes with every lick of flame that was in him. "I _also_ know how you think what you _have_ to do is give yourself over to bein' Fulcrum completely. Fulcrum's just a codename. It's not who you are. Don't let Fulcrum forget about Alex. If _you feel_ like you can't do this anymore, I want you to com me. I'll come for you. No matter where you are. I don't care if you're in the brig of the _Chimaera_ or the most high security cell on Coruscant. I will _find you_. I'll _always_ come for you," the guardsman vowed, his words containing all the gravitas of the warrior he was.

"I _know_ you will," Alex repeated his words from earlier as he leaned his face up to rest their foreheads together.

 _But I could never allow myself to put you in that kind of danger._

"Just...let me do what I _need_ to," he said instead. "Things will only be more dangerous from here on in. I can't just walk away now."

Zeb let out a frustrated sigh, though his face was lit by a small smile as he pulled back from him. "Karabast. How can I- okay. Maybe there's another way I can put it. So, when you're up there, riskin' capture and facin' unimaginable danger," he began to elaborate with a wry smirk, "I want you to start _thinkin_ ' about some of the situations you get yourself into."

"All right," Alex agreed, still not quite sure where he was going with this.

"Then I want you to picture _me_ in that same situation, and ask yourself how you'd react if it was _me_ in that situation instead of you. That'd probably give you an idea of whether or not you're gettin' in too deep, yeah?"

Alex's first response was amusement, but when he actually began to think about it, he realized that the directive actually had some sense in it. He wasn't the sort to consider his own safety in an equation, never had been. But _Zeb's_ safety? That was first in his heart. That notion gave a whole new perspective on things.

"Uh-oh. I see I've got you thinkin'. We all know what happens when I do that," Zeb teased. Alex took his words a little more seriously, though.

"Wonderful things," he said in response, offering the Lasat a warm, grateful smile. "We wouldn't be here at all if you hadn't gotten me thinking. And I _think_ your idea has merit. But I'm only going to promise that if _you_ promise it in return," he insisted, poking the former guardsman in the chest.

"Sure. Why not? I can promise that," Zeb said with a nod.

"Good," Alex said with a firm nod, but then Zeb was drawing him up into a kiss – an aching, drawn out press of lips that reminded them both that they were saying goodbye. Hopefully not forever, but...goodbye. It was a thought that was incalculably painful, especially after this completely wonderful week they'd spent together.

 _Only a week,_ Alex found himself thinking as his fingers traced the sides of Zeb's face. _That's all it's been? To me, it's been as fulfilling as a full standard **year**...and yet...as short as a single rotation._

"Alex," Zeb whispered gently against his neck, nipping lightly at the skin. The contact drew a soft gasp from the former Imperial's lips.

"Oh...oh, _Zeb_ ," he whispered in kind, fingers digging into the Lasat's velvety fur. How could he let this moment go?

"Tell me I'm gonna see you again," the Lasat murmured desperately against his skin. Even though they both _knew_ they could make no such promise, this wasn't a matter of what they could or could not do. It was what they _had_ to do.

"Absolutely," he reassured him. "I will do whatever it takes to get back to you...both of you," he said without thinking, and almost as if she knew they were talking about her, Arkalia began to squeal insistently.

"Aw, of course. Little squeak," Zeb said with a smile.

"How could I ever neglect saying goodbye to you, dear heart... _ni kyra_ ," he said softly as he stroked the fur just behind her ears, leaning in to give her a kiss on the forehead.

"She'll be a climbin' maniac next time you see her," Zeb warned him. "Won't be long now.

"And you- truly believe it will be a few months yet before you're able to take her to safety?"

"A few, yeah. You'll get to see her again. Couldn't pass up the chance to get my two Kals together."

Alex glanced up in surprise at that one, but then began to laugh quietly. He'd honestly never considered Zeb's nickname for her in that light before. Kali. Kal. The stars had aligned just a little too perfectly on that one. Feeling his throat begin to tighten against the emotions battling inside him, he pulled both the Lasat into an embrace, holding as tightly to them as he was able, even if it was only for this small moment. This embrace would have to last him until they were together again – if there ever _was_ such a time.

"I love you," he whispered in Zeb's ear before he could convince himself not to. When he pulled back from the Lasat, it was to see a look of shocked amazement on his face. It was the first time he'd said it out loud, certainly, but for all he knew, it was also the last. It was something he needed Zeb to know...in case he never got another chance. "I- whether or not I _should_ , whether or not I _deserve_ to...I love you...Garazeb Orrelios."

It took Zeb's expression only a moment to shift from amazement to his typical smile. As he opened his mouth to speak, Alex could just hear his words in his head.

"Alex-"

"Wait," he interrupted the Lasat, pressing a brief kiss to his lips. "I know what you would say, but I- I can't hear it yet."

Again, it took the Lasat only a moment to go from joy to annoyance. "What the kriff is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"I have no right to hear those words from you," he explained as he drew himself up. "But I hope that I _will_ be worthy to hear them- when I see you again. So until then...please..."

Zeb let out another exasperated sigh as he rolled his eyes. "Well, I don't _agree_ with you; I think you're bein' a complete idiot, but...if it's what you want...then I'll bite my tongue. For now, anyway."

"Thank you, Zeb."

"But I am gonna leave you with one last thing," he said as he moved in close to press their foreheads together one last time. Then he breathed two words against Alex's lips.

" _Ni tinsana_."

Alex was half-expecting this to be followed by a kiss, but was left disappointed when Zeb pulled away from him, leaving him wanting.

"What- what does that mean?" he tried to ask, feeling almost light-headed from the intensity of Zeb's previous proximity. The Lasat shook his head as he began to walk away.

"Nope. You'll find out what it means next time. Try not to die in the meantime, yeah?" Zeb called over his shoulder.

"You utter bastard," Alex called after him, struggling to keep himself rooted to the spot. If he didn't let them go now, he knew he never would. "Fine then. Next time," he finished the response to Zeb's initial farewell.

Zeb didn't turn to look back at him until he'd reached the _Ghost_. Alex couldn't at first identify the look in his eyes. He thought he saw worry, but that expression quickly shifted into a reassuring smile. Taking one of Arkalia's little hands in his, he helped her lift it to wave goodbye to him. The look on the kit's face, though, was decidedly saddened and confused. Rather than waving, she was making a grabbing motion with her hand.

"Uh. Uh," she pleaded, reaching for him, beginning to kick her legs. She continued to gurgle, but the sound of the _Ghost_ firing up covered the sounds she was making.

"Goodbye," he said with a wave, smiling sadly at them as the ramp began to rise. She started to cry just before it closed.

"Goodbye, dear heart," he whispered with a shuddering breath, feeling that same tightening in his chest and throat, but he managed to keep his features tightly schooled into a smile – just in case any of them happened to be looking.

 _Goodbye, my heart...my life._

He stood, fixed in the same spot as he watched the _Ghost_ take to the skies. He didn't look away even once. He watched until the scrappy freighter had disappeared into the atmosphere, then steeled himself to take his chances with the Empire once again.

XxX

Arkalia was not shy in making her displeasure known during the trip back to Atollon, but by the time they'd arrived back at Chopper Base, she'd mostly cried herself into exhaustion. All she seemed to be capable of doing was clinging to Zeb's chest, occasionally hiccuping and sniffling as the former guardsman carried her from the _Ghost_. As the crew moved through the base, it proved somewhat difficult to ignore the stares of their fellow rebels.

"You'd think they'd never seen a baby before," Zeb growled, glaring at a gaggle of pilots whose stares had lingered just a little too long.

"No, big guy, I think it's just you carrying a baby they haven't seen before," Kanan pointed out, not wholly able to help the quiet chuckle that followed.

"Well, better get used to it then. It'll be happenin' a lot," the Lasat said with a dangerous smirk, his step almost taking on more of a swagger as they headed into central command. Sato was currently receiving a report from Wedge. When he noticed their arrival, he attempted to side-eye the group, but even he couldn't seem to prevent the slight upturn of his mouth.

"So this is the new spectre-ling we've all been hearing so much about."

"This is her. General Sato, meet Arkalia," Hera introduced.

The general mostly maintained his disapproving look, though that spark of a smile could still be seen playing about the corners of his eyes and mouth. The smile that splayed across Wedge's face on catching sight of the kit could only be described as helpless. He waved at her, but Arkalia immediately buried her face in Zeb's chest.

"Don't worry about it, Wedge," Sabine reassured him, despite having giggled at his crestfallen expression. "She's usually pretty friendly. She'll warm up to you. She's just had a rough day."

"This is all highly irregular," Sato pointed out, still with just the spark of a smile, "but it seems the child is in need of a family. I suppose we will serve until we can find her better."

"Yeah," Zeb said as he looked down at the grumpy kit in his arms, feeling the gazes of his fellow Spectres join with his. A lot of his thoughts were far and away with the member of the family that was still absent, but in the meantime, he would keep Arkalia safe – until they were all together again.

"We'll serve."

XxX

The truth that fueled Alexsandr Kallus' performance upon returning to the _Lawbringer_ was bitterness. It was easy to show his compatriots and superiors bitterness over the events of the last week. If they chose to incorrectly interpret it as bitterness over being bested by the rebels, more fool them, but he supposed he couldn't blame Konstantine for not digging too deeply. After all, not one iota of his bitterness was false. He _was_ bitter – bitter over being separated from Zeb and Arkalia, bitter over having found this strange little family only to be torn away from it all too soon, bitter over the fact that he would one day lose the kit, that she could never be his to care for. Maybe, if he and Zeb both survived this fight, they could care for other lost children...but none of them would be Arkalia.

Kallus had entered his sparse quarters once before with his life unraveling around him. He'd never expected to do it a second time. So far as he knew, his life couldn't possibly undergo anymore such fundamental transformations as it had when he'd made the decision to turn away from the Empire. How wrong he was.

He had been a different person when he'd left these quarters only a week ago. Bitter as he was, heartbroken as he was, and _alone_ as he was, he now understood his own capacity to love a little better. If his long-cold heart was capable of feeling the things he felt for Zeb and Arkalia and the rest of the Spectres...maybe _any_ heart was capable of being touched by love? Maybe this wasn't all as hopeless as it sometimes felt?

Moving over to the meteorite that still graced his small bedside shelf, he carefully took it between his hands. Its glow had dimmed considerably over the past few months, but it was still lit from within, still faintly warm beneath his fingertips. It wasn't enough – not really. It could never match the feeling of Zeb's embrace or the warm weight of Arkalia's tiny body cradled in his arms. It wasn't enough – but it would _have_ to be. He _had_ to get through this, no matter what it took. The meteorite had been his light in darkness once before. Even if it was weak, even if it was fading, maybe it could be so again.

"Zeb...Lia," he began softly, pressing the briefest of kisses to the meteorite's warm surface, "I'll come back to you. I _promise_ I will."

Then, placing thoughts of Alex and warmth and love on the shelf with the meteorite, Kallus climbed back to his feet, drawing his surety around him like a shield.

 _Let's see just how well the ISB trained me._

XxX

(A/N) Only note I have for you this time is that the lullaby is 'Flying Dreams' from 'The Secret of N.I.M.H.'. Seemed fitting for Hera. And I am falling asleep as I'm finishing this last scene, so...goodnight. Surely hope you're still enjoying the story.


	7. If Love Can See Us Through

(A/N) Hooo boy, I am _so_ sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this story. I just got so caught up in the minibang and everything. Don't you guys worry, though. I'm gonna keep pluggin' away at my little darling until she's done. Hope y'all enjoy my meager offering. :)

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 7: If Love Can See Us Through_

Just as Zeb had told them, it wasn't long before Arkalia was crawling, padding everywhere on her awkward little limbs. They had to keep a closer eye on her than before, as crawling was soon followed by climbing. She couldn't climb very high yet, but it was still disconcerting to see her on the floor one moment, turning away briefly to hear a mission report, only to look back and find the little Lasat pulling herself up onto a stack of supply cylinders.

Most of the rebels were charmed by the baby girl, but many were also driven to distraction over her, worrying about making certain she was never crushed underfoot. Zeb, though he worried over her almost constantly, did his best to maintain a more hands-off style of care, as he remembered how his mother and sisters had managed to keep him safe while still letting him run wild. The struggle to strike a balance was never-ending, it seemed, and even though it was what he was aiming for, the extremes that Kanan Jarrus took hands-off parenting to could sometimes be maddening.

Whenever Kanan found himself with the responsibility of keeping an eye on Arkalia, he tended to let her have free reign of whatever space the pair of them were occupying, and while that oftentimes resulted in massive cleanup efforts at the end of the day, it had never ended with the kit injured in any way, and despite the fact that they were leading a guerrilla war effort, that tended to be the important part for most of them.

More and more often, though, in an effort to spare everyone the Jedi knight's unique style of childcare, Kanan had taken to taking Arkalia with him outside the base, sometimes even going so far as to take her with him on his outings into the wastelands. While Zeb trusted his friend to the end of the galaxy, he could never quite shake the feeling of worry whenever he knew Kali was out with Kanan, and when he saw them heading out on this particular day, he just couldn't shake the feeling that he ought to say something. So, making sure his patrol was covered, he headed out after the knight and the kit.

He was relieved but almost surprised to catch up with them easily. He found Kanan set up on a blanket just inside the sensor ring. Arkalia was rolling gleefully in the dust and sand, attention preoccupied with a ratty stuffed loth cat. Kanan just sat there, smiling as he listened to her playing. There were no spiders at the perimeter today, but Zeb knew just how quickly that could change.

"Should'a told me you were playing hookie today, Zeb," Kanan called to him with a smirk. "I would've let you have her."

Zeb snarled quietly as he approached. "'m not 'playin' hookie'. I just wanted to talk."

"What about?"

"You're...not goin' out today?"

"Not at this exact moment, no. Ari was content here. I tend to let her pick the direction."

"A baby leadin' a blind man around," Zeb scoffed mildly as he scratched at the back of his head. "There's a joke in there somewhere."

"Not so much," Kanan said with a shrug. "Ari's the one who wants to see the world. Who am I to stand in the way? Y'know, in case you were wondering why it is I take her out there."

"Somethin' like that, yeah," Zeb responded awkwardly. "I just- we promised Alex we'd keep her safe. Takin' her out to play with giant spiders kinda seems like the _opposite_ of safe."

"And you think I'd let something happen to her?" the knight asked, tilting his head to the side in a sort of imitation of raising an eyebrow.

"No! I mean, not _let_ as such, but...why'd you even wanna take the risk? I know you're a Jedi, but you can't control _everythin'_ that happens," he pointed out.

"You're right. I can't," Kanan conceded. "No one can. She's in danger just _being_ on this planet...being with us. She won't really be safe until we get her to Lira San, and even then...well, who could say?"

"Right. Lira San," Zeb said with probably a touch more bitterness than he'd meant to.

"Gotta say, buddy, Lira San's usually a much brighter sound from your mouth," Kanan pointed out casually, patting the spot beside him on the blanket.

"Yeah, it probably is," he grumbled as he sat down beside Kanan, gaze briefly flicking to Arkalia, who was blissfully unaware of the conversation happening above her.

"Anything you'd like to get off your chest?"

"Not really, no," he growled, half in threat. Kanan was his best mate, sure, but if he was going to start prodding at him...

"All right. Let me ask you something else then."

"What?" Zeb pressed a moment later when Kanan didn't immediately follow up.

"Who's Kaya?"

The former guardsman felt something in his heart go cold upon hearing the name. He hadn't heard it in _years_ , and now Kanan had to go and dredge it up like the answer was that simple – like it was an explanation that could be given in only words. Eyes narrowing to slits, he glared sideways at the Jedi, attempting to convey the icy rage in his expression with the hiss of his voice.

"Where did you hear that name, Kanan?"

"In my visions...that day I was first out in the forest with Ari, back on Alluvium. I saw that you tried to save her. Who was she?"

For several minutes, Zeb just sat there, stewing in silent anger and grief. He'd be lying if he even attempted to say that his thoughts hadn't been on the little princess ever since Arkalia had come into their lives, but why – _why_ did Kanan have to drag the most _painful_ of his ugly memories out into the sunlight? Wasn't it enough that he was going to lose another child? Why did he have to relive this one, too? He was very seriously considering stomping angrily away from the Jedi for so casually bringing up one of his most painful failures from that day. But he also knew that Kanan wouldn't let this go now he'd brought it up. May as well get it over with so they could get back to never speaking of it again.

"Kaya," he choked out after several moments of anguished silence. "Arekaya... _Princess_ Arekaya Selvarrio...was the youngest child of Queen Astyrialle Selvarrio. She was born right around the time I was inducted into the High Honor Guard, so...I guess you could say we got our start together."

"The two of you were close," Kanan said softly.

"Yeah," Zeb said, voice distant as he watched Arkalia place her toys in a circle. "Both younger siblings, so I suppose we just _got_ each other, y'know? She had it a lot worse than I ever did, though. Youngest of eight royal siblings, she got lost in the shuffle a lot of the time. Whenever she was lonesome, she'd come to me, and I always did my best to make time for her, even after I rose to captain."

That was the simplest explanation he could offer his friend. He couldn't give voice to the warmth of the little princess' smile, the gentle peal of her laughter whenever he would sweep her up in his arms, the adorably serious look on her face whenever she would hold court with her collection of dolls...the sense of purpose he'd received from guarding her...as if for the first time, he was actually _doing_ something with the Guard instead of just following in his older sister's footsteps.

But then the refugees from Kashyyyk had come to Lasan in the wake of the war his people had managed to stay neutral during, and right behind them had been the Empire.

"Kaya was- only six when Lasan fell," he recounted, remembering the exact moment Kanan spoke of – the little girl's terrified screams, the fear in her eyes. "I killed the trooper who tried to take her, but then another made off with her. I tried- I tried _so hard_ ," he half-snarled, feeling himself start to shake with reigniting rage and heartbreak. "But I couldn't...that...it was when the disruptors started goin' off. There was smoke and fire everywhere, and _living Lasat_ just- disappearin' in clouds of ash. I was right in the middle of it. I couldn't-"

"Zeb," Kanan cut him off before he could devolve into a complete panic, his voice gentle but with a commanding sharpness to it. When Zeb looked down, he found his claws had pierced through the blanket they were sitting on. His fur was standing on end and he was breathing harshly. He'd been only moments away from a full on breakdown. "You're okay. This isn't Lasan. It's Atollon."

"S- sorry," he murmured weakly, slowly disentangling himself from the ratty fabric. "'p- 'preciate- the intervention."

"It's all right. You don't have to tell me any more if you don't want to," the blind Jedi reassured him.

"I...lost her in the chaos," he said, returning instead to the topic of Kaya, leaving behind the memory of the strangely sterile Imperial carnage. "I don't know why they were tryin' to take her. Can't _imagine_ what they might've wanted her for. I think they were takin' kids. One of the guards said somethin' 'bout the creche bein' broken into. Maybe some Imperial with too much money wanted to start up a _zoo._ Whatever it was, she...she's probably dead by now. I _hope_ she's dead," he insisted. "It'd be better than whatever those stinkin' Imps might've had in store for her," he finished, drawing his knees up to his chest like a frightened kit.

"Right. I think I understand."

"Understand _what?_ " the Lasat snapped at his friend, not quite looking at him.

"Why you're afraid. Zeb...Ari's not Kaya, you know."

"And what's _that_ supposed to...to..." Zeb started to growl, only to trail off when he noticed the very important thing that was _not_ there to be noticed. "Kanan...where's the kit?"

"She...oh," the knight started in mild surprise as his attention shifted beyond the sensor ring, and when Zeb's gaze followed that attention, he came to the conclusion that his friend's reaction had decidedly _not_ been the correct one.

Arkalia was currently _outside_ the ring, waving a paw animatedly at the krykna that had wandered up to the barrier.

" _ARKALIA!_ " Zeb roared in fear as he shot to his feet, already going for his bo-rifle.

"Zeb, _don't!_ " Kanan warned him, reaching out to grab his leg before he could take off. It was only his absolute faith in his friend that kept him from wrenching his leg free. "It'll be all right."

"Kanan, she's in trouble," he growled, expression torn as he watched the large creature scuttle toward the kit, no more aware of her peril than if the krykna had been a loth kitten. "I've gotta _do_ somethin'!"

"You'll only make things worse if you go over there now. Arkalia will only be in danger if you interfere," the Jedi said, his voice calm, though his grip on Zeb was durasteel. "Just wait."

Zeb groaned in frustration and worry, gaze darting between the knight and the spider nearly upon Arkalia. "But...she-"

"Don't. Move," Kanan warned him slowly. "Normally, I'm all for letting people make their own mistakes, but it's that kit's _life_ if you kriff up right now. You're just gonna have to trust me."

Giving several more frustrated growls, the Lasat finally let out a slightly louder roar before lowering his weapon, though he didn't put it away. "Kanan, if you're wrong, I'm gonna stuff you in one of their nests and bury the exits."

"And nobody would stop you," his friend informed him as he finally released his grip on his leg. "But that's not going to be necessary. She'll be fine. Just watch."

Zeb did so with bated breath, ready to whip the rifle back up to fire at the first sign of trouble. But none presented itself as the krykna surveyed Arkalia, prodding at her with one of its legs. Arkalia cooed in response, batting gently at the spindly leg.

"Sa-sa, sa-sa, sa-sa," she sang up at the carnivore with an excited smile.

The spider continued its inspection with a sense of curiosity, gently pushing the baby Lasat over in the sand to have a look at all of her. Arkalia just giggled, clearly unaware that this creature could swallow her whole.

When the krykna finally gave a series of clicks and began to scuttle back the way it had come, Zeb felt like he'd been waiting an eternity. Without waiting for Kanan's permission, he bolted to Arkalia, scooping her into his arms and carrying her back inside the safety of the ring.

Arkalia herself was no worse for wear, completely unaware she'd been in any danger. She returned Zeb's tight, desperate embrace with a trill and a drooly smile.

"Za za," she said, looking inordinately pleased with herself.

"Kanan, you're off sitting duty for two weeks," Zeb informed the Jedi as he turned to head back into the base.

Kanan laughed as he climbed to his feet. "Well, I guess that is your call to make, but you have to admit I was right. Nothing happened to her."

Zeb rolled his eyes, but gave a small snarl of assent without looking back at the human.

Kriffing kriff-faced Force-ass Jedi. He'd sit on him if Kanan couldn't just shove him over with the Force.

XxX

Kallus didn't think much of it when he first heard of the Empire's most recent attempt to deploy droids in its search for rebel bases. Such attempts had been made before without much success and he had no idea what might be different this time. The fact of the matter was that the Outer Rim territories were simply too vast and not even the Empire had the resources to go over everything with a fine-toothed comb. But if his former superiors wanted to waste those finite resources on searching for bases they were extremely unlikely to find, he was hardly going to point out their folly. Let them waste their time and effort and droid power. It was one more tiny advantage that could be granted to the rebellion.

But when the report of a single anomaly reached his ears, his earlier dismissal quickly shifted to alarm bells in his head.

"Agent Kallus, we've lost contact with one of our infiltrators," the deck officer reported to him. "It hasn't reported in."

Kallus felt his blood run cold at the man's words. Could it mean... _no._ He couldn't permit himself a reaction. Not when he didn't know anything for certain. Not turning back to the officer, he kept his tone even as he asked, "What was its last known location?"

"The droid never transmitted its coordinates, so we don't know," he responded, allowing the agent an inward sigh of relief. "Should we alert command?"

"If we chase down _every_ temporary comm failure, we'd have little time to do anything else," he pointed out in a scolding tone as he finally turned to look at the officer, his face a study in Imperial control. "If there's no contact by next cycle, we'll follow up. For now, we wait."

It was difficult for him to take his own advice during the rest of his command shift, but he made certain to keep himself solidly in check until he could retreat to the privacy of one of the supply terminals he'd designated for Fulcrum transmissions. With a ship the size of a Star Destroyer, it was only too easy to avoid the maintenance crews if one knew what one was doing, and Kallus certainly knew what he was doing.

With all the necessary information on the recon droids prepared, he began the somewhat tangled, strenuous process of bouncing his transmission through several different locations, the final destination a mystery even to him. There was always the off chance this really _was_ just a temporary comm failure and there was nothing to worry about, but that was _not_ a chance he was willing to take.

Not when the success of the rebellion hinged upon its ability to remain hidden.

Not when the lives of the Spectres could potentially be at risk.

Not when there was even the slightest chance that Zeb and Arkalia could be in danger.

XxX

As much as he'd complained to Hera before, Zeb didn't actually mind being left alone to mind the base. It gave him an opportunity to spend more time with Arkalia.

Despite his own endless warnings not to get attached to the little kit, attachment was happening right under their noses and they all knew it. Really, you couldn't help but love her. No sooner did any of them resolve to remain distant and aloof from the baby Lasat than she would roll over and laugh or she would grab a toy with her little foot. She was almost _painfully_ adorable.

 _Just like Kaya..._

And it was thoughts like that that reminded the former guardsman of his peril. He sighed, unable to even bring himself to be annoyed when the kit made another attempt to escape the sling wrapped around his chest.

"You're gonna break my heart, little girl," he told her, keeping her secure with one hand while keeping the other at the controls of the speeder.

Lasat didn't use carriers all that much. Kits were strong enough to grip within the first month and typically just held onto their mothers until they were climbing. Really, it had seemed strange to him that Arkalia's mother would've been carrying her in a basket at her age, but perhaps it had been more for reasons of practicality...or because her mother would've almost certainly been too young to have grown up on Lasan, had likely been raised among humans. While Arkalia was strong enough to grip, Kanan was the only one besides Zeb who felt comfortable enough to let her do so. Besides that, it was much easier to keep an eye on her when she couldn't escape the confines of a sling or a carrier, so even Zeb would sometimes allow himself to stoop to using one. Like just now for a jaunt out into the wastelands to replace a damaged sensor. The sensor had been easy enough to replace, but the sling had kept Arkalia from slipping away from him when they'd discovered the droid.

The kit was the one who'd drawn his attention to the damaged automaton, lying beneath a swarm of dead krykna. She'd immediately attempted to wriggle her way out of the sling, thinking she'd found another friend like Chopper to play with. Taking his cue from the little girl, he'd decided to bring the droid in for identification, and he'd been doing nothing but keeping Arkalia in check the whole journey back.

"Y'know, assumin' you don't break the rest of me first," he tried to joke as he narrowly avoided swerving into a rock formation following the kit's latest attempt to pull his ear.

In the seat next to them, Chopper gave several wild whirs, punctuated by a few wide swings of his manipulator arms.

"Yeah, but you spend all your time with Hera. You've really got no room to talk about _my_ piloting," he jabbed.

In fact, Chopper had a fair few things to say about his piloting, only about half of which he understood. Either way, they made it back to the base in one piece. The astromech spouted an indignant stream of binary as he exited the speeder.

"Keep jabberin', rust bucket. You try handlin' a speeder with a kit tryin' to climb your head," the former guardsman bit out.

This elicited a long whistle from the droid, who quickly rolled over to him and bumped sharply against his legs, which actually got a laugh out of the Lasat.

"Okay, fine. I guess Ezra does count," he chuckled as he slid Arkalia free of the sling and settled her on top of Chopper's dome. He complained loudly as he trundled away, but they had all made note of the fact that no matter how much Chop complained of Arkalia, he was never anything but careful with her. He made certain she never slipped as he rolled into the supply depot.

With his hands free, Zeb was able to fish the damaged droid out of the back of the speeder, calling out to AP-5 as he carried it inside.

"Hey! Inventory!"

"Excuse me," the droid protested as Zeb laid the new discovery across a set of crates. "This is a supply area. Not a trash compactor."

"We found this busted up droid in the wasteland. Can you identify it?" Zeb asked. When Chopper rolled up beside them, the kit on his head immediately stretched out a curious paw to bat at the unresponsive droid.

"Hmm...it looks like an older model of some type of protocol droid," AP-5 noted, going for a generator. "I should be able to give it enough power for a systems restart."

Zeb was half surprised at how quickly the new droid came online after being plugged in. "Heh, it worked," he said, a small grin turning up the corners of his mouth when he saw Arkalia smile up at the droid.

"Of _course_ it worked," AP-5 snipped in his typical voice.

"Uh...hello," Zeb started uncertainly, not sure if such an old droid would even have a Basic function. "Who are you? Where do you come from?"

The droid looked between the four of them a moment, running through a string of several garbled languages before finally coming back with, "Designation...unknown."

"Its memory systems are damaged," AP-5 commented as the protocol droid got to its feet. It wasn't long at all before it was scanning everything in sight, making a full inventory list.

Zeb blinked, barely managing to hold back a laugh. "Did he- did he just scan and inventory this entire area? He's better at your job than you are," he jibed as he punched the inventory droid on the shoulder, only too eager to get back at him for his earlier comments about Zeb's intelligence.

"I _seriously_ doubt that," AP-5 huffed. "However, he appears to be a logistics droid. Could prove useful...as my _assistant._ "

"Seems harmless enough," Zeb said as he looked the droid over once more, chuckling quietly as Arkalia continued to bat at it. "I guess we could take in another stray."

The protocol droid glanced over at Zeb as he spoke, giving him a similar once-over.

"Species...Lasat," it declared after a moment of this. "Designation...military. Rank...unknown."

"Captain Orrelios at your service," he returned with a small salute, impressed that the droid had even that much in its databanks. He really couldn't help his own amused laugh when it attempted to return the salute. "Fast learner, this one."

The droid's attention shifted next to Arkalia. "Species...Lasat. Designation...juvenile. Sampling...tenth percent. Source...Zaniva BioTech. Inventory...unaccounted."

The moment the droid began to go into more detail, Chopper backed away from it with a low and angry whir, barely managing to keep Arkalia from slipping off. Zeb didn't know if the droid's words actually meant anything or if it was simply more damaged memory gibberish, but to have Chopper switch so suddenly from merely cranky to openly hostile set off something of an alert in the former guardsman's mind. But then the protocol droid came out with its next analysis.

"Astromech C1 series. Obsolete mechanism. No longer in production," it declared before turning away from Chop and Arkalia.

"He doesn't like you," Zeb muttered quietly. So maybe it was just a droid thing. Chuckling again, he attempted to shake off his earlier misgivings. "Now I _really_ like him."

Chopper launched into a mostly inane series of whistles and warbles at this, spinning in circles, and while the motion drew laughter from Arkalia, the astromech's own tone was clearly one of anger.

"What's he sayin'?" he asked AP-5, the string of binary having gone by much too quickly for him to make out.

"He's saying 'I acknowledge that you do not like me all that much, nor do I have a terribly high opinion of _you_ most days. But our opinions of one another should not matter when stood beside the safety of the small one. Something isn't right here. We should shut this droid down _now._ ' Chopper, you're being ridiculous," AP-5 started to berate, but whatever else he said, Zeb didn't hear it. For several moments, his gaze darted between Chopper and Arkalia and the new droid. Maybe the crotchety astromech was right? But before he could decide one way or the other, a new voice entered his awareness.

"Captain Orrelios to the command center for a priority message."

Priority? Well, that was either the fleet or...or maybe Alex with a Fulcrum transmission. It _must_ be important. Glancing uncertainly between the three once more, he gave a frustrated sigh before offering Chopper a pointed look. "We'll settle this when I get back. In the meantime, don't let her out of your sight."

Chopper gave a disgruntled warble that, from a human, would've been something like an exasperated huff, giving the effect of the words 'you don't have to _ask_ me to do that'.

"And you," the Lasat threw over his shoulder at AP-5, nodding toward the protocol droid, "keep an eye on this one, yeah?"

"Very well," AP-5 snapped out. "But if you seriously don't mean to keep him active, then I believe I'll get all the use I can from him in the meantime," he finished, beginning to lead the other droid further into the supply depot.

"Buh-bye, Kali," he said to the kit as he patted her on the head, pulling his hand back before she could latch onto him. "I'm comin' right back. You be good for Chop until I do."

Arkalia burbled curiously up at him, but Chopper immediately regained her attention by heading off after the other two droids, wheedling on his treads to keep her entertained. The sound of her delighted laughter stayed in Zeb's ears all the way back to the command center.

"Sir, we have a message from Fulcrum," the officer reported to him as he approached the main comms array.

 _Alex._

It was a struggle for Zeb to keep his tone even while feeling his heart swell within his chest. "Let's hear it. Put him through."

The now-familiar lines of the Fulcrum symbol flickered into being above the console in place of a proper holo image. Zeb didn't know if it was real or imagined, but he half-thought he could actually hear the sound of his lover's voice beneath the modulated tones of the encryption program. To be able to hear something that even halfway sounded like Alex's voice was a joy to him, but the words he was actually speaking were anything but.

"The Empire has begun to deploy recon droids. These infiltrators sweep the Outer Rim worlds for rebel bases," Alex reported, and in place of the Fulcrum symbol appeared a schematic for a droid that was bristling from top to bottom with heavy firepower.

"Oh, look at that thing," Zeb grunted through grit teeth as he examined the schematic up and down. "It's armed to the teeth."

"They are extremely dangerous, but can appear harmless while in protocol mode," the report continued, the visual switching to a schematic for an image Zeb found horrifyingly familiar – an older model protocol droid, a droid he'd just carried into their base himself.

A droid he'd left Arkalia with.

"Oh, _no._ "

He would've taken off running then and there, but the transmission continued. If he was lucky the droid would _stay_ in protocol mode, but if it didn't, he would probably need everything Alex had to give him in order to take it down.

"One recently failed to report in. Be advised, if the droid remains out of contact, the Empire _will_ come after it, and soon. Zeb..." he said, his taking the risk of speaking the Lasat's name over the transmission proving just how worried he must be, " _navsarra, ni alitha._ Fulcrum out."

 _Navsarra...Protect her._

Before the officer could even say anything, Zeb was long gone, sprinting back through the base as he drew his bo-rifle.

"Karabast! Should'a listened to that kriffing murder bot," he snarled as he went. If Arkalia was hurt because of _his_ stupidity, he would never forgive himself. Worse still, _Alex_ would never forgive him. He just had to get there in time.

But when he barreled around a corner, catching sight of them, it was just in time to see the recon droid stiffen up at something AP-5 had said.

No! He _couldn't_ be too late. He just _couldn't!_

"AP-5! Chopper! Step away from that droid!" he snarled at them, advancing cautiously with his weapon locked onto his target. He couldn't take the shot. Chopper and Arkalia were still too close.

"Rebel...base," the Imperial droid said slowly.

"W- what exactly is happening?" AP-5 stuttered out, moving slowly away. Still too close.

"That _thing's_ some kind of Imperial recon droid."

" _Rebel_ base...identified."

" _Get away from it!_ " Zeb demanded. "What's it doing?!"

"Designation, Imperial infiltrator droid, EXD-9," the droid declared just before beginning to shift modes.

"It's- remembering," AP-5 responded fearfully as the Imperial droid displayed its full array of weaponry.

"Assignment...Atollon. Target... _rebels_ ," the droid intoned, shoving AP-5 aside and going straight for Zeb.

"Chopper, get Kali out of here!" he snapped at the astromech as he fired off a shot at their assailant, only just missing when it leapt up onto one of the overhead catwalks. It was difficult to shut out the kit's panicked screeching as Chopper headed off with her, but he needed to focus. When the droid returned to ground level, he was ready for it. He didn't think of the pair again until the droid dealt him a nasty blow and Chopper was suddenly back in the fray, delivering a jolt of electricity to its circuits.

The infiltrator sent Chopper flying with a single angry blow, sending him crashing against a stack of crates. Zeb used the droid's moment of distraction to come at it again with a round of heavy fire, managing to take out one of its blaster hands. The infiltrator fired off a few more shots before finally retreating. Once it had disappeared from sight, Zeb moved from his cover to help Chopper back up.

"You okay, Chop?" he asked as he righted the astromech. "Where's Kali?"

The astromech chirped before hurrying down the same path the infiltrator had taken, but Zeb was relieved when he quickly split off from it, heading down to another sector. When he reached a clutch of storage cylinders, he tapped on one that Zeb saw had been left slightly ajar, and when the former guardsman slid the cylinder open, the baby's distressed wails immediately echoed up out of it.

"It's all right. It's okay," he soothed the baby girl as he lifted her into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest. He didn't even complain when he felt the pinprick of her tiny claws digging into his skin as she clung to him. " _Ze ze, ze ze, Kali_."

 _Please be quiet. Oh,_ _ **please.**_

Once she was latched onto him, the sounds of her cries were mostly muffled in his chest, but Zeb was still worried that the droid might hear her, so he put all of his efforts into calming her down while he, Chopper, and AP-5 tracked it. He would've preferred for her to be properly safe, but there was no time for that. This thing _had_ to be shut down before it could report back to the Empire.

And after discovering that the droid was repairing itself, a plan began to take shape in Zeb's mind.

Instinct told him to keep Arkalia as far away from the infiltrator as possible, but logic dictated that she would be safest with one of them, and of the three of them, Chop was the one who was most likely to avoid actual contact with the recon droid during the execution of his plan. So it was only with great reluctance that he settled the still-frightened kit back on top of Chopper's dome, watching them until they were out of sight. Then he quickly scaled his way up to one of the catwalks, preparing to ambush the droid.

He knew it the moment Chop located the infiltrator, as the astromech's panicked warbling and Arkalia's frightened cries were soon echoing around the depot. It was a struggle not to scrap the plan then and there and go help them, but he managed to hold himself steady. He was only too eager to jump the thing when Chopper came zooming beneath his perch with Arkalia clinging to him for dear life, but the infiltrator didn't immediately follow. When it got its sights on the pair, it actually seemed to perform another scan.

"Species, Lasat. Designation, juvenile," it said again. "Genetic profile for Project Ash Warrior, sixty-five percent match."

 _What?_

"Directive...retrieve," it declared with an unsettling finality as it finally began to advance. Chopper issued a warning trill, slowly rolling backward.

With the recon droid's threatening pronouncement, the control that Zeb had been holding so tightly to snapped completely. He threw himself down on the enemy droid with an enraged battle roar, going at it with everything he had. He hadn't understood much of what the droid had said, but he _did_ understand retrieve, and like _kriff_ was he going to let the Empire lay even one grubby finger on Arkalia.

He might've actually straight up destroyed the thing had AP-5 not stepped in to shut it down, and it was only then that Zeb remembered how kriffed they would've been if he had. The damn thing had to return to the Empire in one piece.

He didn't have much chance to think on the droid's words in the ensuing chaos of averting its detonation and getting it offworld and back to the Empire, but they were there at the back of his mind throughout, and throughout it all, he held Arkalia to him, comforting both her and himself.

 _What would they want with you? What could the Empire_ _ **possibly**_ _want with a_ _ **kit?**_

XxX

Perhaps it wasn't the wisest decision to report directly back to Thrawn after the missing recon droid's explosive return to base; Kallus'd had enough trouble concealing his relief and amusement after the detonation from the droid carrier. But it probably would've seemed _more_ suspicious to the grand admiral if he hadn't reported back. So he entered the Chiss' situation room with a tight lid on his true emotions, noting nothing in his demeanor except his typical detached, vague sort of interest.

"How did this happen, Agent Kallus?" the grand admiral asked him, gaze intently scanning a holoprojection of the recon survey systems.

"I suspect the rebels captured a unit in the field and reprogrammed it to self-destruct upon its return to base. Quite...ingenious, really," he said, as if offering grudging respect.

"I am inclined to agree," the Chiss said. His expression didn't change, not really, but Kallus found himself noticing some sort of new spark in the grand admiral's red eyes.

"You seem- in surprisingly good spirits, considering this loss," he said slowly, being careful not to seem like he was fishing for something in particular.

"Loss, you say?" Thrawn said, gaze briefly flicking up to meet his, that small spark momentarily identifiable as triumph. "The rebels _may_ have protected the location of their base for now but, in doing so, they have narrowed my search," he explained, keying in an instruction to narrow the projected field. "Before today, they could've been hiding in any of a thousand systems, but now...now I know they are almost certainly on one of the ninety-four planets surveyed by my infiltrators. The rebels have won this battle, but the _war_ will be ours," he said, voice dropping into an almost- _purr_ at the last.

Kallus glanced around at the floating collective of highlighted worlds with a neutral expression. If he could've managed it, he would've preferred to portray Thrawn's own look of mild interest or even pleasure, but he couldn't fake quite that much with the sudden _fear_ twisting at his gut. Here he'd thought Zeb and the others had been quite clever in keeping safe the location of their base, but this was, of course, _Thrawn_ they were dealing with. There was no way the Phoenix cell could manage to stay hidden from him indefinitely. Perhaps he could pass the grand admiral's search grids to Command and they could begin a search for a new base outside of Thrawn's radar?

"Something _troubles_ you, Agent Kallus?" Thrawn's voice was suddenly lancing back into his thoughts, half question and half statement.

"No," he answered quickly before recovering, sighing and looking away in an attempt to pass off his moment of terror as embarrassment. "Well...yes. Merely that I did not see the implications as clearly as you did. I should have realized..."

"There is no cause for concern, Agent. Your skill with deductive reasoning is quite sharp. The necessary mental acuity will come with time and experience."

Kallus allowed a small smirk to shift his expression as he began to turn away from the grand admiral. "Your words may have flattered me once, Sir, but I'm not exactly a young man as far as human years go. Who could say how much time truly remains?"

 _Time not to be a fool, not to be blind to the galaxy around me. Time to regain the time I have wasted._

"You do my words a disservice. Flattery cannot exist where there is truth. You have proven yourself a most capable agent of late, above and beyond what one even typically expects to see of the ISB. Yet I understand you pass up promotion whenever talk of it arises," Thrawn pointed out.

"That is true," he conceded without looking at his superior, wary of the fact that he was asking about this _now._ Thrawn did not engage in 'small talk'. What was he after?

"Is there a particular reason _why?_ " the Chiss asked when he offered nothing else.

He couldn't deflect. With these questions coming now, it would seem too much like he had something to hide. The truth, then. But how much?

"It is- my own preference to remain in the field as much as I can. It is where I can do the most good," he said simply.

"An honest assessment, I suppose. But you have also demonstrated unparalleled leadership abilities for those troops under your command in the field. Would not those skills _also_ be of great use to our Empire?" the grand admiral pointed out.

And now they were getting into more personal territory. Thrawn would almost certainly know if he gave him anything but the truth.

"I... _acknowledge_ the need for a higher command structure. A firm grip is needed to maintain order, but- on the whole, I do not much care for the _attitude_ that develops among those with greater power. I would just as soon keep myself back from such things," he said, resisting the urge to grit his teeth together.

"So you would say that you...resent authority?" Thrawn posited, the expression on his face shifting from merely interested to what passed for openly curious for him.

"Not- so much in the way I imagine you're thinking," he said carefully, aware that they were in clawfish-infested waters now. "My experience with authority in the waning days of the Republic was...shall we say, less than exemplary."

"Why is that...if one may ask?" Thrawn continued to press, and once again, Kallus knew he could not risk lying. Likely, that was exactly the sort of test this was. The Chiss probably already had the information he wanted. For him, it was just a matter of deconstructing the manner in which Kallus presented the facts to him.

"I imagine you will have heard this from less- complimentary sources, but my father was a member of the Galactic Senate in the years leading up to the Clone Wars, senator of Salear. He was not...the best example of what a man in power should be – the worst of what the decadent influences of the decaying Republic could give birth to. I do not have it in me to turn away from the abuse of power." Again, this was something about him that was true. There was nothing hidden in it because it was all fact. If Thrawn felt the need to see something else in it, he would be fishing at best. But whatever direction Kallus had expected the grand admiral to take this in, it was not the one he ultimately went with.

"Forgive me, Agent, but I have never had the temperament to learn the ins and outs of politics. In my view, there is not much to be said for a great deal of politicians. Why should any sources I may have be _less_ complimentary on the subject of _your_ father than any other politician?" the Chiss asked him.

It was a struggle not to breathe a sigh of relief when that question was put to him. Things had officially become a little too personal and he could now safely defer the grand admiral's probings without fear of rousing suspicion.

"That, Sir, is less to do with the professional than the personal. Suffice it to say that the man's treatment of my mother has a great deal to do with _why_ I support this government," he said, turning away from Thrawn once more.

"And if it does _not_ suffice?"

Once again, Kallus halted in his exit. There was no threat in the Chiss' voice, no warning of any subtler meaning in his questions, but for some reason, he was not letting this go.

"Were that the case, I believe I would find myself asking 'why the curiosity?'," he said with a glance over his shoulder, finding the grand admiral looking at him with marginally raised eyebrows.

"Well, you _have_ been at the center of several recent events. The raid on Alluria, the supposed discovery of a Lasat infant, your kidnap and ransom, the rebels' interest in Manaan – you have become quite the connecting thread of late. Far be it from me to even suggest the word 'coincidence', but you do seem to have a great many trailing behind you. It leaves one rather curious about the man who stands among those they call the Butchers of Lasan."

Kallus couldn't stop himself from stiffening at the mention of the old moniker. Even before Zeb, he had detested the title, but had never really been able to shake it. And now there was no way the ever-vigilant Thrawn hadn't noticed his reaction, no matter how minute. The act wasn't over yet.

"Well...a reputation is a fickle thing at best. I have only ever done what was necessary. It was no different on Alluria...than it was on Lasan," he said, not properly turning to face the grand admiral. "So far as I'm aware, the tip about the infant may have just been bad information. Insofar as I could account, all the Lasat were killed in the raid. There's- truly nothing to be curious about."

"Perhaps not, but then again, perhaps there _is_ ," Thrawn said, voice dangerously soft. Out of the corner of his eye, Kallus saw him step away from the holo display. "It is not your exploits, rumored or otherwise, which are of interest to me. It is you, yourself," the Chiss explained as he moved up behind him, coming up right at his shoulder, practically breathing down his neck. Thrawn held the position for only a moment before moving around to stand beside him.

"And why is that?" Kallus asked with a raised eyebrow, being careful to keep his tone even, perhaps even managing a shade of disinterest as he met the grand admiral's gaze full on.

"Truth be told, you are something of a mystery among your peers, Agent Kallus, and the fact of the matter is that so few of your kind are," the Chiss explained, that same spark of _almost_ curiosity lighting in his eyes once again.

Kallus let his eyebrows knit together at the grand admiral's words, offering up an air of contemplation, looking inward. When he looked back up at his superior, it was with a smoothed-over expression.

"I- truly have no idea if I ought to take that as a compliment."

"Take it as approval, if nothing else. An opponent that cannot be read possesses a distinct advantage in battle."

"And _are_ we opponents, Admiral?" he asked, voice quiet and controlled.

"As a strategist, it is only logical to assume that _anyone_ could become one's opponent, given the proper set of circumstances. I do believe I would find you a _worthy_ opponent, Agent, were we to ever find ourselves on opposite sides."

" _That_ I will certainly take as a compliment," Kallus said with a nod, attempting to give off a small note of pride. "Now if you will excuse me, Admiral, I have my own duties to attend to."

"Of course," Thrawn said with a curt nod, stepping aside to allow Kallus to exit the chamber.

It was a physical struggle for the rebel spy not to slump against a wall in relief when he was finally out from beneath the grand admiral's intent red gaze. From his very first encounter with Thrawn he had felt like a specimen in a lab, or a piece on display at a museum, helpless to do anything but stand there as the man slowly picked him apart with his eyes.

This was worse.

He had never felt so stripped bare beneath the Chiss' gaze as he had in this encounter. He presented a perfectly collected exterior to the rest of the vessel but, inside, he was shaking. Briefly, his thoughts skated back to Zeb – to the admonishment he'd given him when they'd parted ways.

 _I want you to start_ _ **thinkin'**_ _about some of the situations you get yourself into...Then I want you to picture_ _ **me**_ _in that same situation, and ask yourself how you'd react if it was_ _ **me**_ _in that situation instead of you._

If _Zeb_ were in this situation? If _he_ were here instead of him, cover less than an inch from being blown, he would tell his love to get out. Get out _now._

 _But then...who would be left to be their man on the inside? To be their eyes and ears for the attack on Lothal? To get them the intel no other spy can? Who would be left to build that better galaxy that Zeb and Arkalia deserve?_

 _There may never be another opportunity like you again, Kallus. You_ _ **can't**_ _run away. You have no right to. Not until the job's done._

Unable to help but think that Zeb would've come to a similar conclusion were he in the same situation, he couldn't wholly keep a small smile from turning up the corners of his mouth. Idiots. Both of them. Two hopeless fools. Not for the first time, he asked himself when it was he had fallen so hard. He was no surer now than he had been when he'd first asked that question of himself a few scant months ago...the last time he and Zeb had been face to face before Alluvium...on a planet that, strangely enough, had been the home of his so-called father...

X

 _Salear._

 _A Mid Rim world of modest population, relatively unknown among the throngs of worlds that claimed membership in the Galactic Republic. At least up until the onset of the Clone Wars, when Zaniva BioTechnologies had made enormous strides in lab-grown foods and genetically modified crops that could handle harsher growing environments. Then everyone knew about the little world._

 _But really, that was all Kallus knew about the planet where his father had been born. He had never had any desire to learn more, nor even set foot on Salear. Frankly, his father probably would've been ashamed to see him there anyway. So he'd avoided it while the man had still been living, but he could little continue to do so when a rebel spy was captured while infiltrating Zaniva's planetside facilities._

 _The infiltrator, Jidu Ailyt_ _è_ _, had been inserted based on intel from him, chasing rumors of some new genetic experimentation the Empire was engaging in. The Empire was not as upfront about genetic research ever since the cloning facilities on Kamino were shut down, but that didn't mean nothing was happening. Likely it was just the opposite, so Jidu had taken the mission when an opportunity had arisen, despite his warnings of the danger. And because he felt responsible for the young woman in some way, he couldn't just leave her to his fellow ISB agents. He'd informed Phoenix Squadron of a slender chance to rescue her from the Imperial installation on Salear_ _ **before**_ _she was transferred to ISB's central headquarters on Coruscant._

 _Their plan had been insane, as their plans often were, but far be it from him to question what worked. Jidu had been liberated from Imperial custody, but the plan had apparently gone south from that point onward, leading to Sabine having to improvise an explosion to help cover their escape._

 _Unfortunately, Kallus and Zeb had been a little too into the diverting battle they'd gotten themselves into in order to allow Ezra and Kanan to get clear with Jidu. Zeb had whispered the improvised plan to him in the midst of a particularly heated tangle of their bo-rifles, but...well...he wasn't completely sure_ _ **what**_ _happened when the time came to get himself clear. Probably it was some combination of seeing Zeb again and the guilt he was feeling over getting Jidu and the Spectres into this situation, but when the first warning rumble sounded and his eyes locked onto the Lasat's, he found himself completely frozen, unable to flee. For a moment, just a moment, he was back on Lasan, and the proton clusters that would end it all were just about to go off._

 _ **Oh,**_ _ **stars.**_

 _Then a blinding flash of orange and white electrified the area, and instead of an explosion, all Kallus could hear was the panicked, horrified sound of Zeb screaming his name._

 _"_ _ **ALEX!**_ _"_

 _Somewhere in the back of his mind, Kallus vaguely recalled the voice of a lecturer from his Royal Academy days_ – _something about how the human brain reacted during a traumatic experience. Rather than experience the event as a whole, the mind would often hyper-focus on extraneous, unimportant details. So, whether he was reacting to the trauma of the flashback or the explosion itself, it mattered little in his suddenly hyper-aware state. All his mind would focus on was the sound of Zeb's voice in his ears, the feel of the Lasat's velvet-fine fur beneath his cheek, the strong press of his much larger arms around him and...was that a leg, too?_

 _"You called me...Alex," he mumbled faintly, unable to do much but lean his cheek further into the softness of Zeb's fur._

 _"That's your_ _ **kriffing name**_ _, isn't it," the former guardsman growled in his ear, his voice strained._

 _"You've- never done that before," was all he could manage._

 _"Karabast, are you with me in there, man? We're in a bit of a situation here."_

 _"I..."_

 _Then, all at once, his awareness came flooding back, only for that awareness to inform him he was hanging upside down above a yawning void filled with smoke and debris where the lower levels of the sector had once been. He could feel Zeb's arms and leg wrapped around him because the Lasat was hanging from a mostly undamaged strut with nothing more than a single foot, clutching him tightly against his body. Instinctively, his grip on the Lasat tightened, though he turned the rest of his focus to remaining still in his embrace, determined not to make this any harder than it must already be._

 _"This- seems to happen to us a lot...doesn't it," he said with a helpless chuckle._

 _"Too right, and you haven't exactly lost weight since Bahryn," Zeb tried to joke in that same strained voice, though he did take a moment to nuzzle his face tenderly against Kallus'. The former Imperial couldn't wholly help the small smile that lit his face_ – _such a sweet, warm gesture in the middle of such a dangerous situation_ – _but, just as quickly, he realized..._

 _"You shouldn't have done that, Garazeb," he scolded, despite the fact that he found himself burrowing a little deeper into the Lasat's embrace._

 _"What? Save your life?"_

 _"Someone might have_ _ **seen**_ _...or a cam-"_

 _"Please," Zeb started with a roll of his large eyes. "Any cam what could'a got that is dust now. System's totally scrambled. We're fine. Or...we're fine so long as that beam holds out," he noted, gaze flicking up to the length of durasteel that was currently the difference between them and a very violent end. But then the Lasat looked down into his eyes once more, continuing with, "Besides...I couldn't let you die. That wasn't happening."_

 _"Zeb..." he whispered, the moment strangely tender despite their obvious peril._

 _"You've been really out of it this go 'round. What's wrong?" Zeb asked him._

 _"Now? You're asking me that_ _ **now?**_ _" he fired back, in spite of how touched he felt by his former enemy's concern._

 _"Sure. Might not be around to save your sorry hide next time you decide to freeze in the field. So what happened just now?" he pressed._

 _"It- it's nothing," he tried to insist._

 _"Yeah, that's the biggest load of bantha shit I've ever smelled."_

 _"It's nothing you can_ _ **do**_ _anything about, Garazeb. It's just- this_ _ **place**_ _..."_

 _"What? Bad memories?"_

 _"Not- exactly. I've never been here before. It's- difficult to explain. Family matters...I guess," he took an awkward stab at explaining._

 _"You_ _ **guess?**_ _"_

 _"You know, we- we really need to_ _ **not**_ _be dangling over a fifty meter drop to have this conversation. To have_ _ **any**_ _conversation, really," he jibed back._

 _"I dunno. I think I could get to like this...havin' you all to myself," Zeb said with a teasing smirk. "Second we get outta this jam, it's back to bein' Rebel and Imperial. But now...right now we don't have to pretend for anybody. It's just you and me," he said softly, resting his forehead against Kallus' for a moment before pressing his lips to his in a quietly passionate kiss._

 _ **You and me...**_

 _Alex trembled at the emotion he felt pass between them in that kiss. If there had been any doubt in his mind about what he felt for Garazeb Orrelios, it was laid to rest with that loving press of lips...the unbreakable strength and care that held them so tightly together. Perhaps it was what he had always felt_ – _from the moment Zeb had given him that meteorite...given him the comlink...given him his trust and forgiveness...given him a way back to him_ _ **self**_ _. Whether it was from the very first moment they'd truly begun to_ _ **see**_ _each other, or just now in his arms, he_ _ **knew**_ _what it was he felt._

 _ **When did it happen? When did I fall in love with you?**_

 _Kallus could have gone on like that forever, blissfully kissing Zeb while suspended in mid-air, but the bar the Lasat was clinging to chose that moment to remind them that they were, in fact,_ _ **suspended in mid-air,**_ _by giving a tiny wrench._

 _"Aand that will have to be dealt with," Kallus noted as they awkwardly separated. "Sooner rather than later."_

 _"Right," Zeb started as he glanced around, looking for possibilities. "My ride's gonna be here soon, but it's gonna look pretty bad if we rescue you, too. Maybe we can-"_

 _"There!" Kallus pointed out as he swung his gaze through the clearing smoke, drawing Zeb's attention to a bit of corridor in the gaping holes of the lower sector that still had enough stable flooring._

 _"There?" Zeb repeated, raising a dubious eyebrow as Kallus looked back at him._

 _"Sure. If you can just swing me down there, that bar should hold your weight until the_ _ **Phantom**_ _arrives."_

 _"And you're- you're sure about that distance?" Zeb asked, eyeing it with apprehension._

 _"Of course. Just like old times," he reminded him with an encouraging smile. "I know you can do it. I would trust you with my_ _ **life,**_ _Zeb."_

 _"Good...'cuz that's what this is_ – _me takin' your life in my hands," Zeb said, voice thick with uncertainty as he glanced down at the chasm they were suspended over._

 _"You can do it," Kallus repeated gently, loosening his grip from the Lasat in order to pull Zeb's face back toward his, away from the drop. "I trust you."_

 _Taking a long moment to center himself, Zeb breathed in and out. Then he pressed his lips to Kallus' for one last searing kiss before nodding firmly. "All right. Let's do this before I lose my nerve. I'm gonna let you down real slow and easy..."_

 _Using his leg to support Kallus' body on the way down, Zeb helped him climb down his own body, until his own hands were gripped securely in the Lasat's strong, four-fingered grasp._

 _"You ready?" Zeb asked him, eyes sick with fear as he looked down at him._

 _Alex looked back up at him with perfect trust in his eyes. There wasn't a whole lot he believed in anymore...but he believed in Garazeb Orrelios._

 _"I'm ready."_

 _Then Zeb began the simple swinging motion needed to give Kallus enough momentum to reach the un-demolished bit of building, also being careful not to swing too hard and cause his precarious perch to give way. When he'd reached a point that was just at the brink of being too wide a range of motion, he released his grip on Alex's hands, sending him flying._

 _He was braced for his impact with the hard surface, allowing his body to roll with the force of motion, carrying him several feet away from the edge. He heard Zeb's triumphant whoop as his battered body slowly unfurled from the tuck he'd curled into. He climbed to his feet just in time to see the_ _ **Phantom**_ _swoop in for him._

 _"I'll see you, Agent!_ _ **Next time!**_ _" Zeb shouted at him just before releasing his hold on the bar and letting himself fall the short distance to the lander._

 _"_ _ **Next time!**_ _" Kallus shouted right back, raising a hand in farewell as the shuttle fired off into the distant sky, taking Zeb away from him yet again._

 _How many more times could he endure watching the Lasat leave him behind?_

XxX

Despite his stress and exhaustion from the day's events, Kallus was easily awakened from a dead sleep by the sound of his personal comlink going off. There was only one other person able to use that line.

Zeb.

"Hmm...Garazeb," he mumbled sleepily as he activated the voice link.

"Aw, karabast! I woke you, didn't I," Zeb groaned in frustration. "I thought maybe I could catch you before your sleep shift. Don't worry about it. Go back to sleep. We can talk later," he said, making to disconnect."

"No, please wait," Kallus half-begged, struggling to shake the sleep off as he sat up in bed. "You wouldn't call me if it wasn't important. What is it?"

"But you don't sleep enough," Zeb said with a pained sigh. "I don't wanna interrupt the little sleep you _do_ get."

"Zeb, _please._ Talk to me," he tried again, running a hand through his hair as he settled himself against the stark bulkhead of his quarters, "I- I _want_ to talk. I would go so far as to say I _need_ to."

"Alex?" Zeb started, voice quirking upward. "You okay?"

"Of course," he returned. "Thrawn just gave me a bit of a turn today after the recon debacle."

"Alex," the Lasat continued to press, voice becoming all the more pointed, "are you still safe there?"

"Yes, yes, I'm fine. Just the admiral being his usual prying self."

"Alex-"

"I'm _fine,_ Zeb. Truly. How...how's Lia?"

"She's good. Out like a light, our little princess. She's with me in my quarters right now, since everybody else is out on trainin' maneuvers. I'd been hopin' to get on with you while she was still awake, but there was just so much else goin' on."

"That droid- never came near her?" he pressed anxiously. More than he could give voice to, he'd been worried about the baby Lasat. Zeb could at least take care of himself, but Arkalia...Arkalia was helpless.

"No. Spooked a bit, but not a scratch on her. Only...there were things that droid was sayin' while it was scannin' her...things I didn't get, but I had Chop run 'em back for me later."

"What sorts of things?"

"It was sayin' things about- percentage and inventory and genetic match. Have you ever heard of somethin' called Project Ash Warrior?"

"It- rings no bells for me, no. But I can certainly look into it."

"Yeah, that'd be good. It was talkin' about- _retrievin'_ her. I don't like that," Zeb's worried voice came to him through the comlink.

Kallus inhaled, sharply and deeply, as he turned his gaze to his ceiling, feeling the same crushing sense of fear and worry coming from his lover squeezing vengefully at his own heart. "I suppose...it's possible her parents escaped from some sort of Imperial prison. That _could_ be what it was talking about."

"Could be...but it also said somethin' about- Zaniva BioTech. Maybe I'm rememberin' this wrong, but...wasn't that the corporation Jidu was tryin' to scope out a little while back?"

Kallus froze upon hearing the name, nearly dropping the comlink in the process. With Thrawn's probing questions from earlier, and the memories they had drawn to the surface, there was no _way_ these things were unconnected. He would _have_ to do some digging now. If the Empire were to come after Arkalia for _more_ than just the crime of being a living Lasat-

"Alex? _Kal?_ " Zeb's voice suddenly cut through the encroaching dread. "You still with me over there?"

"Yes," he finally responded. "Yes, I'm here. Sorry. Zaniva...was in fact the corporation Jidu was attempting to infiltrate. I suppose they could be involved with this Project Ash Warrior somehow. There are many things they do for the Empire. Really, it all depends on what Ash Warrior actually _is_. That will take some digging, I have little doubt. I should begin researching soon," he said, going for his datapad.

"And do you plan on _sleepin'_ before that?" Zeb asked him, and Kallus could just picture the way he'd raise an eyebrow at him.

"Of course," he lied as he brought the screen up.

"Liar," Zeb called almost immediately, another pained sigh passing through the connection as Kallus pulled up his network access. "You're doin' it right now, aren't you."

"Now why would you say that?" he teased mildly, though he couldn't quite help the small smile that lit his face, soothed by the sound of his lover's voice.

"Because I _know_ you, Alexsandr Kallus," he grated. "You're gonna be at this all night and you're gonna be half-dead for your first shift."

"Nothing a few cups of caf won't remedy. This is what I _do,_ Zeb. Really, my comrades would be more suspicious if I _stopped_ pulling all-nighters," he pointed out.

"Just one more reason for me to crack their heads together. I swear I'm puttin' you to bed for a solid _week_ when you get outta there," Zeb grumbled.

"Well, if I'm to remain in a bed for a whole week, I certainly hope we'll be doing something a _bit_ more interesting than sleeping from time to time," he couldn't quite help jibing, a delicious shiver moving through his body at the thought, a second shiver beginning when he heard a kind of pleased _purr_ travel through the connection.

"Might do, might do. Guess we can spend _one_ a' those nights awake. I have been wantin' to hear that uptight ISB voice _screamin' my name_ ," the former guardsman purred seductively, lighting a small spark in the former Imperial's belly.

"Careful, Captain Orrelios," he warned once he was certain his voice would be steady enough after his latest shiver. "You _may_ distract me from my duty. My superiors won't take kindly to such fraternization."

"Kriff 'em. I'll wipe that smug condescension off every last one of their faces. I'll march right onto that Star Destroyer a' yours and slam you up against the nearest bulkhead. Then I'll _do you_ so hard, it'll leave even the stuffiest old officer on that ship panting," Zeb said, voice dropping into a delectably deep _growl_.

" _Garazeb_ ," Kallus scolded in a scandalized tone, though the fresh pulse of desire between his legs was no less divine.

"Or _you_ could do _me_. I'm flexible," Zeb invited. "Can't have those tight-wound _doilies_ thinkin' you were only seduced to the rebel cause by the promise of a good kriffing."

"While I appreciate the offer, I- _sincerely_ hope Arkalia is truly asleep over there. I have no intention of having _comm sex_ with you with a little kit in the room."

Zeb sighed, the sound devolving into a quiet chuckle before he continued. "All right. That mean the offer's on the table when she's back with Sabine?" he asked hopefully.

Once again, Kallus found himself shivering pleasantly at the thought, even though he could feel the blush staining his pale skin. He'd never actually _had_ comm sex before, so he didn't know the first thing about it, really, but for Zeb's sake, he was certainly willing to give it a go.

"We'll see," was his ultimate response, carefully willing away the beginnings of his arousal as he dug further into his research.

"I'll take what I can get. For now, we can always skip to the aftercare, talk about that some. Ever had a lover make you breakfast in bed before?"

"Never," he said softly. He hadn't had a great many lovers in his life, and certainly none that he'd achieved this beautiful level of intimacy with. There was something comforting in knowing this wasn't just a physical relationship – that they could tease each other and go on for hours over these seemingly trivial things. This love was a light in the darkness he knew could so easily overtake his heart. So, having the feeling he was not going to like what he found in the Imperial databanks, he invited his love to chip away at that darkness. "Tell me all about it."

"Well, just as a start, the others tell me I make the best waffles in the Outer Rim...

XxX

(A/N) Did...did I just write a Spider-man kiss? *thinks* Nah, it doesn't count when they're both upside down. Was definitely fun, though. Yeah? Okay, so the way I've got this story laid out in my head so far is that it's got about three distinct arcs, the first arc being the chapters that took place in the Allurian System. This chapter was the start of the second arc, so hopefully anybody still reading will enjoy it just as much as you did the first arc. It shouldn't take me nearly as long to get out the next chapter. So 'til next we meet, dear readers, adieu.


	8. From the Truth of a Thousand Lies

(A/N) And once again, I seem to take way too long updating. *sigh* This time, the excuse is that I was trying to build up a bit of a backlog for the story so I could spend some time working on some of my other projects. So yes, heheh, the next chapter _definitely_ won't be as long in coming. Hopefully, we should be able to get back into regular posting habits. As usual, I very much hope you enjoy my latest offering. :)

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 8: (I've Drawn Regret)From the Truth of a Thousand Lies_

It probably wasn't correct to say that things quieted down after the droid incident. Things never _really_ got quiet when one was part of a rebellion. Perhaps it was better to say that nothing catastrophic had happened for a few weeks.

Things had settled so much, in fact, that Hera had felt it would be all right to let the Spectre boys take on a recruiting run in between training runs. Partly because Rex's little network had picked up a tip on a fresh batch of Outer Rim bush pilots, and partly because Kanan needed to be away from Atollon for a time, having been experiencing yet another round of visions he'd been able to make neither heads nor tails of. He was hoping that getting away from the Bendu might help him work through his muddled thoughts, but so far, things just seemed to be getting even more tangled. So, while Zeb and Rex worked to get the _Ghost_ docked with Kafrene when they came out of hyperspace, the Jedi meditated alone in his quarters, struggling to get himself under control. But still the errant scraps of vision plagued him.

 _A pair of red eyes narrowing spitefully, seething hatred as Thrawn's voice sounds in his head._

 _"Whatever happens next happens to both of us."_

 _The Bendu, gazing down from high above with an enigmatic expression. It laughs, shaking its head._

 _"Such a lot of trouble over such a little thing."_

 _Looking down on Kallus from above, the ex-Imperial on his knees, wrists bound, badly beaten._

 _"Do you_ _ **love them,**_ _Kallus? What secrets would you give away in order to see their lives spared?" a voice that sounds like Thrawn's begins, but ends sounding more like Pryce's._

 _Zeb, expression ravaged and terrible as he holds his bo-rifle above a fallen foe._

 _"You_ _ **dare**_ _touch my tinsana?!_ _ **You dare harm what's MINE?!**_ _"_

 _Kallus clutching Arkalia to his chest, tears streaming steadily down his face as he presses several kisses to the top of her little head._

 _"I love you._ _ **I love you.**_ _"_

 _Kallus looking up with an expression of resolve and determination, even though there's a glint of sorrow and loneliness beneath it all._

 _"I can do more good here."_

 _Giren Kuross, pressing in uncomfortably close, and a profound sense of disgust and defilement._

 _"Say it again, Lasat. Tell me to stop._ _ **Beg me.**_ _"_

"Kanan?"

The knight inhaled sharply at the sound of his padawan's voice, flinching as his sightless eyes blinked open.

"We're- coming up on Kafrene. You okay in there?"

"I- I'm okay," he said haltingly, shaking his head. "I don't know what it is. I just can't get my head to settle."

"Do you think- it could be some kind of fallout...from our confrontations with Maul?" Ezra asked, and Kanan didn't need to see the look in his eyes to feel the thread of ever-present guilt in their bond.

"I doubt it. There's no telling what, but I- I think I stumbled into some sort of confluence in the Force, back on Alluvium. It was a meeting place of several different futures, and they're _all_ still touching mine in some way," he tried to explain.

"Well...anything we need to be worrying about in the _near_ future?" Ezra continued.

Kanan sighed. "I couldn't say. I couldn't say with _any_ of the things I've seen recently. There've been a handful I know to be visions of the past, but beyond that..." He shrugged.

"How do you know?"

"I've seen images of people I once knew...Jedi I _know_ are now dead. I've seen Zeb on Lasan. And I've seen..." he stopped, shuddering in remembered horror as the image of the Sith – _Skywalker_ – raising a lightsaber to strike down _babies_ flitted through his mind.

"What?" Ezra pressed when he didn't continue. "What did you see?"

Sighing heavily, Kanan steeled himself for the words he was about to give voice to. He would've preferred to spare his apprentice all of this, but Ezra was not a child anymore. He deserved to have as much of his Jedi history as Kanan could give to him – even the ugly parts.

"When- the Republic turned against the Jedi...their purpose was to slaughter every last one of us," he began in a heavy voice. "That included the very youngest members of the Jedi Order – the younglings."

Ezra's only response to that was a sharp gasp, but Kanan could hear the horror in the sound just as easily as if he'd shouted.

"You- remember the Jedi temple on Lothal?

"Uhuh."

"The central temple was on Coruscant. I'm sure the masters all thought- that nothing could touch them there...but they were wrong," he said, voice dropping into a whisper at the last.

"Kanan...what did you see?" Ezra asked him again, even though the pain in his voice said he already knew the answer. Kanan could easily picture the way his face would crumple in sorrow.

"I saw _him_...the Sith lord. I didn't actually see it happen, but he was about to murder a roomful of _children,_ " he hissed, continuing to speak even through the sound of Ezra's horrified gasp. "It was him...who killed them all...every last child in the temple. And Ezra...I heard his name," he admitted.

"Wait. You _know who he is?_ " Ezra pressed in shock. "Who?"

"It- I don't think it's going to make any difference at this point."

"But _still_ ," Ezra tried to argue. "If we know who he was before, we can-"

"We can what? In this case, I really don't think it's going to help us at all."

"Why not? Was it...was he somebody you knew?" Ezra tried again, sounding worried now.

"He was someone _everyone_ knew...a hero of the Clone Wars. I don't- think _anyone_ could've imagined he would turn," he said quietly, almost to himself. He'd never formally met General Skywalker, but of course he'd heard of him.

"So...who was he?"

"It was Anakin Skywalker."

"Skywalker?" Ezra repeated in shock. "You mean that guy Ahsoka had holos of? Her _master_? The one you said was one of the greatest Jedi ever?"

"Yes."

"But...she thought the _galaxy_ of him. How could somebody like _that_...turn to the dark side?"

"The same way anyone does, I guess – the right temptation."

"Still...I have a hard time believing that somebody like _him_ \- could become Darth Vader."

Before Kanan could respond to the younger Jedi's shock and confusion, a different sort of shock suddenly reverberated through the waves of the Force, loud and insistent and utterly consuming in its devastation. From the way Ezra flinched in the space next to him, he could tell he had felt it, too. And it didn't take him long to realize what the source of that shocked despair was.

"Rex."

XxX

CT-7567 hadn't _meant_ to overhear anything. Really, he'd figured it was safe to approach the open door to let the two Jedi know they'd docked. But then he'd heard Kanan saying his general's name, and then Ezra connecting that same name to the nightmare figure of Darth Vader – and suddenly his whole world was spinning out from beneath his feet yet again.

He didn't think too much about where he was going when he hurried away from the Jedi's quarters. He just needed to _move_. Maybe if he moved fast enough, he could outrun this revelation.

Images of Anakin assaulted his mind – memories of him leading his brothers in battle, the intensity of his expression in a fight, the genuine light behind his grin, his determination to do what was right, the sense of peace that settled about him whenever he was working with Ahsoka...

And then there was Darth Vader.

The Emperor's top enforcer, a man the rumors claimed had killed thousands, someone they also whispered had actually been involved with Order 66! As his reality spun further and further out of control, even more memories swam to the surface of his mind unbidden...

When he'd understood his brothers were turning on Ahsoka. His brothers or...his Ahsoka. That one decision that would define him. Not his years of faithful service. Not the battles he'd won. No. It was the moment the galaxy had fallen apart. The moment he'd taken his new-got free will in his own hands and chosen Ahsoka Tano over everything else, turning and _firing on his own brothers!_

The look of self-loathing in her eyes when she came back to help him, letting go her one chance to kill Maul in order to save _him._ And because he _knew_ her, he also understood. As much as he hated himself for having to turn on his brothers, she hated herself _more_ for having put him in that position, and he could feel that hatred in the wetness of her tears, the pair of them weeping silently as they clung to each other in the aftermath.

 _"Rex...I'm_ _ **sorry!**_ _I'm so sorry- I couldn't protect you..."_

He never should've left...never should've let her go...but they'd both just been so torn up over what had happened...

...and _Anakin_ – Anakin karking _Skywalker_ – had had a hand in creating that reality? This _nightmare_ galaxy?

The clone captain had thought he'd known pain, had thought he'd known devastation and despair. He'd _thought_ he understood betrayal.

He'd thought wrong.

CT-7567 was not one for the open display of emotion. He was a soldier, and he _knew_...that sometimes the only advantage one had was the mastery of oneself. And so it would have bordered on horrifying for anyone who truly knew him to hear the tortured _scream_ that was torn from his throat as he slammed an enraged fist against a metal surface.

" _Rex!_ "

"Zeb, don't! He's not-"

He heard the voices of the other rebels, but he didn't comprehend their words. All he knew in that moment was rage and hate and sorrow. To be so betrayed by someone he had admired, _trusted_...someone who had made him feel like an individual with thoughts and opinions to be valued...someone to whom _Ahsoka_ had trusted her life...something inside of him was _breaking_ , shattering beyond help. He had lost his brothers, lost Ahsoka...he had lost the family they might have had together...and now it seemed, worse than he'd ever imagined, he had lost his general, his _mentor._

What more could the galaxy _possibly_ take away from him?

He cried out, _screamed_ until he was hoarse, beat his fists against the ship's unfeeling hull until his knuckles were bloody, and still it did not relieve his suffering. All he was left with was a body that was just as battered as his spirit. Had he been able to, he almost would've preferred to dash his own brains out – anything not to have to endure this last and greatest betrayal.

"Why... _why?_ " he hissed, voice falling into an anguished whisper as he pleaded with the universe, the Force, whatever power that was always standing idly by and _allowing_ this horror to occur. As he curled in on himself, he gradually began to realize he was on his knees, in the cockpit of a ship – the _Ghost_.

"Rex?" a somewhat familiar voice called to him through his haze. Kanan. Kanan Jarrus...Jedi knight. They weren't _all_ gone.

"K- Kanan?" he stuttered out hesitantly, starting to regather the shattered pieces of his control. Reaching out a hand, he gripped at the first solid thing he came into contact with – the pilot's chair.

"I am _so sorry,_ " the Jedi apologized in a firm, sympathetic voice, being careful as he reached a hand forward to rest it on the clone's shoulder. "I didn't even- _think_ about the fact that you'd served with him. I should have been more careful. I'm sorry."

"I didn't want to believe it," he started, hands gradually falling helplessly at his sides, fingers twitching to reach for a blaster that would do no good against this enemy. "I'd _love_ to say it's not possible...that Anakin Skywalker never could'a gone that way...but even _I_ know that's not true. He was- _so_ torn up...near the end. With Ahsoka gone...and him so karking close to Palpatine...he stopped coming to me. Maybe...there was something _I_ could've done?" he wondered aloud.

"Don't," Kanan interrupted before he could say more. "Don't do that to yourself. We don't know what happened. More than that, you wouldn't have had any control over the choices _he_ made."

"Do...do you think Ahsoka knew?" Ezra's awkward voice joined the conversation. "When she stayed behind on Malachor?"

Hearing that, Rex felt his heart break all over again. When he shifted to a sitting position, turning back to look at the other three worried men, he sighed heavily. "She _must_ have. That's why she stayed- when she could've escaped. She felt- so guilty...for leaving him the first time. There was no way she could've done it a second time. It would've _killed_ her," he acknowledged.

 _And look where it got her. She died anyway...killed by her own master._

" _No,_ " he started suddenly, before any of them could say anything more. "I don't know what that Sith _thing_ is, but it's _not_ Anakin Skywalker. The Anakin Skywalker I know died with the Jedi Order," he said firmly, clenching his hands into tight fists, despite the pain in them.

"You all right, mate?" Zeb asked. "Your eyes are kinda-"

"Don't worry about me," he interrupted, shaking his head as he attempted to get back to his feet. "We've got a job to do. Let's do it."

"Hey, wait, no," Kanan said sharply, preventing him from rising with a hand on his shoulder once more. "First we're gonna get those hands taken care of. Ezra, you got the med kit?"

"Gotcha covered," the young Jedi said with a grin as he squeezed in beside his master with the kit. Popping it open, he reached for Rex's left vambrace in almost the same motion.

" _Ahh,_ this is ridiculous," the old clone said with a clipped sigh, though he didn't resist their efforts to patch him up. "It's not that bad."

"It's not ridiculous," Ezra scolded, applying bacta once he'd gotten the armor all the way off. "You're hurt. You need help."

"Yeah, but it's my own karking fault."

"Maybe so, but do you really wanna head into a mission dripping blood that could be traced back to you?" Kanan pointed out.

"What's it matter? The Empire already knows the Rebellion has clones in its ranks. What's one more clone matter to them?" he asked in a defeated voice as Ezra wrapped bandages around his bloody knuckles.

"No more than anything else matters to those stinkin' bucketheads," Zeb put in. "But you matter to _us_."

"Heh, right," he returned with a nod, offering Zeb a tired smile before looking around the cockpit. "Man, Hera's gonna be upset with me for getting blood on her ship."

"I don't think she'll have much to say if we bring her back some new pilots," Kanan said as he got to his feet.

"Right. Better get a move on, then," he said, only getting to his feet once Ezra had helped him back on with his armor. And though it went against every scrap of field training he had, he ventured from the _Ghost_ with his thoughts divided and distracted. He had mastered himself outwardly, but the pain still clawing at his heart was focused on one being.

Vader.

It was...somehow different...knowing the true identity of Ahsoka's murderer. Before, the Sith had only been an enforcer of the Empire, an extension of their will. Now? Now it was personal.

 _I gave you everything I had to give, General. And what was my reward? You took my love from me. You took my child from me. I know it'll probably take the last breath in my body, but I don't care. I won't rest until I wipe the galaxy clean of everything you've done...until I see you dead at my feet. I'll make you pay for Ahsoka's blood or I'll_ _ **die trying.**_

How he was going to get the drop on _any_ Force user, light or dark, he didn't rightly know, but he _did_ know something now that he hadn't before. Jango Fett had been chosen as the template for the Clone Army _specifically_ for his ability to hold his own against Jedi. The Emperor had honed his perfect secret weapon in exacting detail from the very start. If he'd been designed to stand against a Jedi, he could stand against a Sith as well. It was bred into his blood and bones, wound tightly in his very genetic makeup. He had never carried out Order 66, but he would do it now.

"So where's this contact of yours holed up?" Kanan's voice suddenly snapped into his awareness with a note of worry. The knight had probably sensed the gist of what was roiling just beneath the surface of his calm exterior.

 _First step. Never forget how easily you can be read. Keep a lid on those emotions._

"Five String District," he answered succinctly, drawing his thoughts tightly to him like a shield as he nodded ahead, up through the myriad of beings milling about the port's market space. "Just a few more stalls up."

"Anybody we know?" Ezra asked.

"Yes and no," Rex answered with a wry smirk.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

Kanan gave a small chuckle as his little riddle clicked into place in his head. "Pretty sure he means it's one of his brothers."

" _Oh_ ," Ezra started up after a moment of thinking about it. "Cool."

"Wasn't exactly easy to reconnect with Trek, but it's been worth it. He was part of an elite scout unit. He had hundreds of Seppie holes pegged back in the day," he explained as he led the group down a slant alley.

"Any particular reason you haven't brought him into the fold?" Zeb asked, glancing around the rear of the gang to make sure they weren't being followed before bringing up the end of the little line.

"He hadn't made up his mind yet. Pretty sure this run is him making it up, though," he said, expression shifting to a smaller, more genuine smile. More than his brother being an excellent resource for this fledgling rebellion, it would be nice to a see a familiar face in its ranks.

After a few more side streets and double backs, they arrived at the other clone's designated warehouse drop point.

"Everything looks in order," Rex noted as his eyes canvased the dilapidated building, seeing none of Trek's typical visual cues to warn of danger.

"Still...walk softly," Kanan warned before the group headed inside. "I don't know what it is, but something just- doesn't smell quite right."

"Trek? You around?" Rex called out as he did a visual scan of the front area. Almost immediately, his brother entered from a back room in an awkward flurry of motion that wasn't at all like him. For a moment, he stared at Rex with unsettlingly wide eyes. Rex returned the gaze uncertainly. " _Vod?_ "

"Rex," he started, eyes going even wider as he struggled for words. But then his expression firmed up and he shook his head. "No. _No._ Get out of here! _Get out now!_ "

"I warned ya, CT- 6223," a new and ugly voice entered the room. "Didn't I warn ya?"

Before Rex even had a chance to react, Kanan had his lightsaber drawn and was shouting.

"Zeb, run!"

"Wha-"

"Just trust me on this one, big guy. You've _gotta get away from here!_ "

"Kriff that. I'm not gonna leave you all to-"

"Nobody. Is goin'. Anywhere," that same ugly voice said as its owner entered the room from the same entryway Trek had plainly been shoved through. That owner was a human male with unnaturally pale skin and long black hair that was tied simply at the nape of his neck. His attire wouldn't have been anything of note were it not for the fact that his vest clearly looked to be made of Wookiee fur. He eyed the four of them up and down with an entirely too pleased smirk on his face, and Rex would've loved to shoot that look right off; would've done were it not for the fact that the man had a blaster pressed to the side of Trek's head. "And if ya don't want anything to happen to your little friend or the infants we've got trussed up in the back, I'd recommend shuttin' down that light sword a' yours, _Jedi_ ," he spat out.

Kanan gave a long hiss of frustration before deactivating his lightsaber and tossing it aside.

"Rest a' you, too. Weapons on the ground!" the man snapped at them. Rex slowly lowered his blasters to the floor, but Zeb and Ezra were even slower to respond, both looking like they were contemplating ignoring the man.

"Ezra," Kanan said in a warning tone.

"But-"

"Put it down."

Letting out a similar frustrated hiss, Ezra tossed his weapon aside, leaving just Zeb with his bo-rifle in hand.

"Come on, Lasat. You heard me," the man taunted, pressing the muzzle of the blaster even more harshly against Trek's head. "I _know_ you ain't deaf with those ears. Bo-rifle on the ground or I'll put a plasma bolt through this copy'n paste's head."

Rex bristled at the insult, half-tempted to go for his own weapons. Instead he kept his focus on Zeb, seeing the brief flicker of surprise in the former guardsman's eyes when their enemy correctly identified his weapon. But he ultimately obeyed, growling deep in his chest as he set the bo-rifle on the floor.

"So," the man continued, jerking his head back in the direction of the room he'd emerged from, "if you boys wanna join us in back, I've got a few things I think might interest ya."

"We're not interested in anything from you, _Kuross,_ " Kanan snapped out the name at the last, subtly letting them all know just what sort of situation they'd landed themselves in, because of course they all recognized the name.

The bounty hunter's eyes narrowed as he sized Kanan up, but he ultimately ended up sneering at him. "Guess my reputation precedes me, but I wouldn't want ya to make any snap judgements about _this_ offer. Come on back," he invited.

If Rex had noticed the second bounty hunter blocking the exit, then the other three had almost certainly noticed her as well, Kanan and Ezra with their Jedi senses, and Zeb with his much keener hearing and sense of smell. But even if there _were_ any point in trying to make a break for it, Rex never would. There was no way he would leave a brother in trouble. So, glaring at Giren Kuross in disgust, he followed after the bounty hunter, hearing the others fall into step behind him.

There were two more bounty hunters in the back, both too heavily clothed for him to make out either species or gender. Their blasters were trained on four bound young people, either Ezra's age or not much older – a human girl in Mandalorian armor, a Mikkian boy, and two Syren girls, so alike in appearance they were probably from the same egg clutch. The feathers that adorned their bodies would have been a pure white color were they not so matted with grime and blood, and if not for those feathers, he almost wouldn't have recognized the girls as Syren, as they lacked the distinctive wings of the bird-like people. These four were still breathing, but next to them were two more young ones who weren't so lucky. A human girl and a Bothan boy, both dead from blaster shots to the head.

"What was that you said about nobody getting hurt?" Ezra demanded, voice an unpleasant mix of anger and sorrow.

"Sorry for the confusion. That's only a guarantee if ya don't do anything stupid. These two weren't so smart. Now, to business," he said, forcing Trek to his knees beside his small band.

"What do you want?" Rex pressed solemnly, though he was unable to fully suppress the glint of anger he knew must be in his eyes.

"So I suppose you're all aware that the Empire pays top credit for rebel heads. We could be set for life, turnin' a group like this in."

Kanan shrugged. "Nice to be wanted, I guess."

The bounty hunter glared at the blind knight for several ineffectual moments before continuing with, "Dick around all ya want, Jedi. It won't change the fact that you're captives. Mostly I just want ya to understand my full meanin' when I say I'm willin' to let y'all go free."

"And what would you be wanting in exchange for such a- magnanimous offer?" Kanan asked, lingering over the longer word.

Kuross didn't seem to notice the subtle dig, though. His pale blue eyes fairly sparked as his gaze shifted to Zeb.

"I want the Lasat."

"No," Kanan snapped out without a moment's hesitation.

"Oh, ya might wanna think about your position before ya just-"

" _No,_ " the knight interrupted him harshly. "Your reputation does precede you. I _know_ what you do with Lasat, and what you're no doubt going to propose is _not_ , in any way, shape, or form, up for discussion."

"Even if it means innocent lives might get spared?" Kuross pressed in a snarl, reminding them of the clone he still held at blaster point. But then his gaze swept the small line of young people and he let out a dark chuckle. "Though, who's to say how _innocent_ these lives really are? Lookin' to throw in with rebels and all. You should be _grateful_ I'd be willin' to let 'em off."

"Kanan-" Zeb started in.

"Zeb, no," the Jedi warned him. "Trust me, you don't want to be within a parsec of this sleemo."

"Y'know he's right," Kuross said, smirking at Zeb in a way that would've had Coruscant's seediest escort shuddering in revulsion. "Never did take too kindly to a Lasat walkin' around with its hide still attached. And with Lasats bein' so rare these days, I could definitely get a pretty fine price for that fur," he said, jerking his head back to signal the fourth hunter to cover Trek. Once she had her blaster trained on him, Kuross moved toward Zeb, his expression growing oilier with every step. "Or I could think of a few more... _interesting_ things to do with it. Know what this vest is lined with?"

A shiver of disgust ran through the entire group at the man's implication, but he didn't stop there. Blaster still trained on Zeb, he got right up in his personal space, shifting the vest open with his free hand to reveal the by now familiar purple coloring of Lasat fur.

Zeb inhaled sharply at the grisly sight, eyes going wide in horror, and in his moment of shock, the bounty hunter reached forward to run his fingers along the delicate fur at his neck.

"So _soft_ ," Kuross exalted, fingers digging in. "Like velvet and shimmer silk. Wouldn't guess at the _power_ that hides underneath all that satin."

The unwanted touch and the profane words that bordered on assault finally seemed to snap the former guardsman out of his shock, driving him to growl low in his chest as he bared his teeth at the human.

"Ah, ah, ah," Kuross scolded him, still not withdrawing his hand. "One wrong move and it's hot plasma through their brains. Ya don't want that, do ya?"

Seething in desperate frustration, Zeb closed his eyes as he turned away from their captor, a very obvious shudder running through his massive frame. All the while, Kuross continued to stroke that fur.

"Stop," Zeb whispered in a voice so like pleading it broke something in all of the Spectres to hear it. "Just _stop._ "

"Only if you _beg me,_ " the human hissed in his ear, loud enough for all of them to hear, stroking all the harder.

"No," the Lasat hissed back, softly, defiantly. But the next was more of a cry – of denial. " _No._ "

"Stop this _right now_ ," Kanan growled at the bounty hunter. Rex had no doubt he was experiencing first hand just what it was Zeb was going through.

"If ya want it to stop, then ya deal with me," Kuross said, never once lifting his sadistic gaze from Zeb's tortured face. "Say it again, Lasat. Tell me to stop. _Beg me._ "

But Zeb still refused, no matter how much this was clearly making him suffer.

"Just love the feel a' that silk against my skin. I tell ya, there's nothin' like it in the whole galaxy," Kuross said, stroking Zeb all the more intensely. Then he leaned up to whisper something in his ear, much too quiet for the rest of them. But whatever it was, it caused Zeb's eyes to burst open as his entire body went stiff. Then, clearly beyond his control, a very intense _purring_ sound escaped his throat.

"That's what I _thought_ ," Kuross hissed in a sickeningly pleased voice. "Thanks for the _ride_ , big boy."

Finally, blessedly, the hunter removed his fingers from Zeb's body, and the second they were gone, the Lasat collapsed to his knees, gasping for breath as he tried to stop himself from purring, the look of abject misery on his face saying that the damage had already been done.

"Zeb..." Ezra whispered in horrified shock.

"Could do all manner of unspeakables to this kriffing fine specimen before I kill him," Kuross said, not even acknowledging the Lasat as he moved away from him. "But, unfortunately, I find myself in a position where he'd be of more value to me alive. Zaniva pays damn good money for living subjects."

That one drew a sharp bolt of recognition from all of them. Still shaking, still purring, Zeb looked up at the human to ask him, "What- what did you say?"

"Zaniva BioTech. They'll pay some really hard credits to get their hands on you – _alive._ I don't ask what they do with 'em. I just collect my paycheck. Sometimes they let me have my fun," he said, throwing a leer over his shoulder. "But they've been hard asses about it this last year or so. My bet is they lost some of their animals and have been tryin' like kriff to replace 'em. And since _I_ seem to be the only one who can track you Lasats these days, I've been gettin' the business."

Lost some? Could it have been- the group Arkalia came from? Her family?

"Sir," one of the Syrens called out to Rex, no doubt used to deferring to a clone as her source of authority, "we didn't ask your team here to suffer like this. Don't worry about us. Do what you have to."

" _Oto vo pieah!_ " one of the bounty hunters snarled in Huttese, delivering a vicious blow to the side of the young woman's head.

"Tera!" her sister cried out in fear.

"Leave them out of this!" Trek snarled at the bounty hunters. "They're just kids."

"Like I said, more'n happy to let _all_ of ya go for the price of just one," Kuross reminded them with another hungry glance in Zeb's direction.

"And I'm telling you again, that's not gonna happen," Kanan bit out.

"What's better, Jedi? That ya _all_ get arrested or just _one_ of ya? Thought you Jedi were supposed to be all about the good a' the all or somethin' ridiculous like that."

"The good of the all isn't much good if it has to be paid for with even _one_ innocent. That isn't how we do things."

Kuross laughed as he shook his head, waving his blaster at Zeb. "Oh, this one ain't _innocent_. Got that on good authority. He's got reputation enough, has _Garazeb Orrelios,_ " he said with a sneer, taking in the look of surprise on Zeb's face with no small amount of pleasure. "Did ya really think it'd be that hard to get the history a' one of the only Lasat rebels in the galaxy? You weren't too tough to track. Though, on the subject of Lasats and rebels, don't suppose you've seen any around recently? More specifically, Lasats of a younger persuasion?"

Rex was sure they all felt the same jolt of panic at his words, but they all managed to keep it concealed, offering up angry, but largely blank looks. Even Zeb, still shaken from what the human had done to him, gave his attacker little more than an angered growl.

"When would we have seen somethin' like _that?_ " he snapped out, angry but still weak. "Empire's made damn sure there's just a handful of us left."

"And this younger Lasat is one of that handful. Dunno if it's a boy or girl, but I'm guessin' one a' those escaped beasts was pregnant when she got out, 'cuz that's the only explanation I can think of for my seein' a Lasat brat runnin' free. So maybe if ya won't trade away one of you're own people, ya might be willin' to trade for someone who _ain't_ one a' yours. How 'bout it? Seen any likely lookin' snot noses lately?"

Zeb let out a roar at that one, shooting to his feet, despite the fact that he was still shaky, his massive presence enough to dispel any remaining surface signs of weakness. "Even if we _did_ know any such thing, why wold we _ever_ turn over a _child_ to the likes a' _you?_ " he snarled. "You call _my people_ beasts, but _you're_ the monster here, Kuross!"

" _Vod?_ " Trek called quietly to Rex in Mando'a whilst everyone else was distracted by Zeb and Kuross. " _Ni cuyir ni ceta._ "

" _Bic cuyir va gar betkr,_ " he insisted. It did none of them any good to be taking blame for this. " _Mhi cuyir slanar at slana'pir be ibic, a gar ganar at bu'cina mhi. Jetii alorir miai gupu sto,_ " he said, the last igniting a sharp spark of pain in his heart. It would comfort his brother to be reminded of the fact that not all of the Jedi were gone, but...were the Jedi any more trustworthy than his fellow clones...if they could be turned away from everything they claimed to care about so easily?

 _Stop that! Kanan's not Anakin._

" _Ruus'alor,_ " the young Mandalorian's voice suddenly joined in on the whispered conversation, the closest to Trek and also able to understand what they were saying, " _Gar kar'taylir bic cuyir tomad na ber betkr. Dinuir_ _ **ni**_ _at etid. Mhi liser bu'bi'ha etid Ha'yr Arsane malyasa'yr sada jate'shya par ner yaim'ol._ "

Trek shook his head slowly. Nearly concealed by the dip of his neck, Rex saw his brother give the girl a small, heartbroken smile that took him right back to his first meeting with a fiery young Jedi padawan.

 _So if you're a captain and I'm a Jedi, technically I outrank you, right?_

 _In my book, experience outranks everything._

" _Nayc, ad'ika,_ " he said, his eyes misty with regret. " _Ibic solus cuyir harans gtahla. Gar cuyir kotep, a bic malyasa'yr am naas. K'oyacyi._ "

" _Trek..._ " she whispered, eyes widening in horror at the simple command – the only way Trek had of saying goodbye to her.

"You! _Clone!_ " the female bounty hunter snapped. "What are you muttering about?"

"Trek," Rex started in on his own whispered warning, fully aware his brother was about to do something very brave and very foolish.

" _Rex...bruk etid,_ " he said aloud before driving his head forward into the woman's midsection. Then he twisted upward into a kick, disarming her of her blaster.

Kanan quickly summoned the masterless weapon to his hand, firing at the first of the masked bounty hunters and shooting them through the forehead. The second dove for cover before the knight could deliver a similar fate.

The female hunter was not disarmed for long, though. Within seconds, she had a vibro-shiv in hand and that shiv had found its way between the plates of Trek's old armor.

"TREK!" Rex shouted as his brother cried out in pain, also hearing the girl shout the name. When the hunter turned her attention to him, the girl rushed her from behind, delivering a crunching body check, despite her small size and her bound wrists.

While the clone captain moved to his brother's side, Ezra leaped to unbind the new recruits. When her hands were free, one of the Syrens let out a bird-like screech and went for the other masked hunter while her sister pulled the Mikkian away from the bodies of their fallen friends, getting him to cover.

From the moment the chaos had erupted, Zeb had fixed his attention on Kuross. With an enraged roar, he went at the human, clearly intending to rip his head off. He easily dodged the man's blaster fire, quickly covering the distance between them.

"Zeb, _wait!_ " Kanan shouted in a sudden panic.

But the warning had come too late. It was overshadowed by the sudden _zing_ of a second vibro-shiv. Rex didn't actually see the moment Kuross buried the weapon in Zeb's side. All he saw was the two enemies standing together, Zeb with a look of agonized shock on his face and Kuross with a mocking sneer twisting his features.

Briefly, he leaned up, whispering something in Zeb's ear before violently jerking the vibrating blade from his body and creating an even more jagged wound. The Lasat was left to cry out in pain before collapsing entirely.

" _ZEB!_ " Ezra cried out, rushing to his side.

"This ain't the end of it, Orrelios!" the bounty hunter warned as he headed toward the exit, the sneer he threw over his shoulder disgustingly gleeful. "I will find you, and any _other_ Lasats ya might be hidin'!"

Kanan tried to get off one more shot at the fleeing bounty hunter, but Kuross just managed to slip away.

"Kanan!" Ezra cried out in panic, fingers covered in blood from where he'd attempted to put pressure on the wound. "It isn't- he's not- I don't-"

"Zeb," the knight called out as he moved in next to his apprentice and the barely conscious Lasat. "Come on, big guy, you gotta stay with us. We're gonna get you out of here, but you can't check out on me. _Zeb!_ "

Rex watched the whole thing through a strange sort of daze. There was nothing he could do for his brother. Unlike Kuross' strike, the female bounty hunter's had been to kill. At least it had been quick...no suffering. Trek's young charge had already avenged him, trembling as she sat beside the hunter's body, the neck lying at an unnatural angle.

The Syren was crawling out from the last hunter's hiding place, her already matted feathers painted red with fresh blood. Her sister quickly came out from where she'd been covering the Mikkian to embrace her.

And Zeb...

Zeb had lost consciousness altogether, his breathing going ragged while Ezra and Kanan struggled to stabilize him. Even though Rex had no standard of comparison between human and Lasat in blood loss, the red staining the side of the former guardsman's body looked like entirely too much.

And even though he'd been through the standard counseling, had watched friends die in combat, had been through it a _thousand_ times over, told himself endlessly not to take blame for it...he wasn't wholly able to keep the thoughts from skirting the edges of his mind.

 _Is this my fault? I brought them here. I came into this run with my head off in Wild Space. Maybe if I'd kept my focus, this wouldn't have happened. Maybe Trek would still be alive. Maybe Zeb would be all right._

 _If he dies...if he dies, his blood is on_ _ **my hands.**_

XxX

 _Through smoke and fire, he sees them standing_ – _the two Lasat. One with icy rage in his eyes and the other with fiery contempt._

 _ **His**_ _Lasat._ _ **The**_ _Lasat._

 _Almost as one, they draw their bo-rifles, Zeb's flaring to life with a burst of purple energy while the mercenary's comes awake with a similar snap of green. Snarling, they both drop into battle-ready stances._

 _"You hurt him," Zeb accuses. "You hurt my love."_

 _"I should've done better. I should have_ _ **killed him**_ _when I had the chance," the mercenary throws back at him as they begin to circle each other. "If I'd left him_ _ **rotting**_ _in a shallow grave with the rest of his unit, maybe our people would still be alive."_

 _"_ _ **You**_ _should be the one rotting!" Zeb snarls. "I dunno what your story is, but you dishonor that weapon, attackin' the way you did."_

 _"I dishonor_ _ **nothing**_ _. I will kill any Imperial in any way I can. But_ _ **you**_ _...filthy_ _ **slut**_ _. You betray all of Lasan just for a pretty piece of human flesh!"_

 _If Zeb doesn't feel the sting of those words, Alex surely does. If there_ _ **were**_ _any other Lasat still left alive...what would they think of their being together...of Zeb's choice to be with him? With a spike of guilt in his heart, he tries to move, to call out his love's name, but he can't. No matter how hard he tries, he can neither stir nor speak._ _ **Nothing.**_

 _"You don't know him!" Zeb growls. "You don't know a kriffing thing about him."_

 _"Don't I? I know him better than you, I think. I've seen him at his lowest," the mercenary taunts. "I've broken him open. I've seen what's inside. I_ _ **know**_ _him, Garazeb Orrelios, and if you think he's worth the sacrifices you make, you're_ _ **wrong**_ _."_

 _ **Zeb...please...don't-**_

 _But he does. Of_ _ **course**_ _his fool of a Lasat rushes in to defend him. Zeb roars in fury as he charges the mercenary, their weapons clashing in a violent burst of noise and light._

 _With every move, every breath, Alex struggles to get closer, but he still can't move. Frozen, helpless to do anything but watch the fight unfold. Every strike sends a thrill of fear down his spine. Every near miss sends his heart seizing with terror._

 _ **Please, don't do this! Not for me. He's right. I'm**_ _ **not worth it!**_

 _And then it happens. The mercenary gets in a lucky strike, using Zeb's moment of distraction to draw his weapon back and drive forward with enough force to impale the former guardsman through the chest._

 _"_ _ **ZEB!**_ _" he screams, voice finally escaping his throat in a torrent of raw anguish as his lover goes down._

 _The mercenary chuckles, his voice low and cruel, as he kneels beside his fallen opponent, and in that moment the nightmare figure transforms, becoming something human and disgustingly familiar._

 _Kuross. Giren Kuross._

 _The bounty hunter looks him in the eye, shivering with some sort of sickening anticipation as he slips a vibro-shiv from his belt._

 _"Should'a killed me when ya had the chance, Imp. This one's_ _ **mine**_ _now."_

 _ **I failed you.**_

 _ **My love...my Zeb...**_

Kallus bolted upright with a strangled cry. It took him longer than he would've liked to realize that it had all been a nightmare, that he was aboard the _Lawbringer_ and not back on Onderon...that Zeb was all right.

Probably.

Panting heavily and soaked with sweat, it took him several moments to stumble his way over to the small refresher station opposite his bunk. He allowed the water to run a few seconds before gathering some in his cupped hands to splash against his face. He barely took the time to shut the water off before leaning against the cold metal skin of the destroyer and simply allowing himself to slide down it, coming to rest sitting haphazardly on the floor.

It tugged at the old thread of guilt in his heart to admit it, but the nightmares had not been as bad before he'd become Fulcrum. His own mental baggage had been much easier to deal with when he could simply ignore the whispers of his own misgivings, when he could shove it all to the back of his mind and just _not_ deal with it.

Now, though?

Now it _couldn't_ be ignored, and he had to deal with the years of guilt, self-doubt, and self-hatred he'd allowed to build up. And since he _couldn't_ allow his own issues to interfere with his Fulcrum work, they were manifesting as horrible night terrors – images of the Spectres dying and him being unable to help them, of them dying by his own hand...nightmares of Lasan and Onderon...and worst of all, images of Zeb and Arkalia dying, of having to watch them perish over and over again and being unable to change their fate. Seeing Zeb gunned down by his former comrades...watching white-armored soldiers smash Arkalia's tiny, helpless body against some unfeeling ship's bulkhead...not unlike the one he was leaning against-

Kallus gave another small, strangled cry as he curled in on himself, pulling away from the cold of the wall.

 _Stars dammit all, get ahold of yourself, Kallus,_ he mentally thrashed himself. If anyone were to see him like this, it would be a oneway trip to a psych ward, and then he would be of no help to anyone.

 _Maybe, but you also won't be of any help to anyone if you go off crazy,_ a voice that sounded suspiciously like Kanan Jarrus responded from the back of his mind.

The knight had told him to talk to Zeb. So...maybe it was time to actually take a stab at that, instead of the abortive, disastrous attempt he'd made back on Alluvium. It had been painful...to call up those memories, but...wouldn't it be even _more_ painful to let these nightmares grow worse?

Maybe...the next time they talked... _really_ talked...

With a shaken sigh, the former Imperial dragged himself back to his bed. His heart rate and breathing had returned to acceptable levels, but he certainly wouldn't be getting anymore sleep tonight. May as well get _something_ productive done. But first...

On a whim, he reached for the personal datapad he kept stored in the bunk's side compartment, taking a moment to tap out a brief message to Zeb. He wasn't expecting a response right away or anything. Wherever Zeb was at the moment, who knew what the time of cycle was in comparison with ship's time, but it eased something in him to reach out to his lover, even if it was only in the smallest capacity.

 **Ni Garazeb,**

 **I hope you're well. There's no cause for alarm. I'm not contacting you with anything new to report or because something's wrong. I don't know** _ **why**_ **, really. I suppose I just wanted to know you and Lia are safe. I worry, as I'm sure** _ **you**_ **worry. Just comm me whenever you're able, ni alitha.**

 **Lira ni ashkerra,**

 **An s'ahn Alex**

Kallus sent the message off with a small smile, imagining the look on Zeb's face when he read the Lasana. He'd been studying diligently and he was hopeful that it wouldn't be long before he was able to write his messages to the Lasat completely in his own language. It would certainly make him feel safer delivering words of endearment. He didn't dare commit such things to Basic when there was a chance they might be tracked. If he became fluent enough, it might even be possible to deliver his Fulcrum reports entirely in Lasana. Any extra layers of encryption he could give his intel would be useful.

Before he could switch datapads and continue his search for Zaniva and Ash Warrior, though, something crossed his mind – something he hadn't looked at in weeks. Something he'd loaded onto the datapad from a chip Sabine had given him...

Accessing the deeply entrenched collection of files, he opened them up to reveal the holos the young Mandalorian had taken during that week on Alluvium. The first image was of him and Zeb, and it must have been from that first night, because he was sound asleep against the Lasat's shoulder. Something in his heart twisted with both joy and longing to see the way Zeb gazed so adoringly down at him.

Next came several images of him and the Lasat, passing Arkalia back and forth as they fed her. Then one of Arkalia on her blanket in Sabine's bunk, smiling, her fur dotted with paint in several places.

There were a few images of Rex with the little Lasat, cradling her, dangling a toy for her, feeding her, the look of mixed happiness and longing so naked and vulnerable when he clearly thought he wasn't being observed that Kallus felt almost guilty for seeing it.

Sabine had taken images of Hera sitting in the pilot's chair in the _Ghost_ 's cockpit, Arkalia settled easily in her lap, reaching forward to bat at the controls with her tiny hands and feet, all while Hera laughed in captivated amusement.

There was a snapshot of Kanan holding the little kit, his countenance half way to panic as Arkalia reached up to try and pull on his mask. And an image of Ezra levitating Chopper for her amusement, the padawan's expression jubilant and Arkalia's little features caught mid-squeal, hands and feet reaching out from her carrier to grasp at the floating droid.

And of course there were holos of him and Zeb with her – Zeb rocking her as he sang to her, Kallus caught mid-laugh as he burped her, Arkalia smiling sleepily with her head resting against his shoulder, the image of her curled up asleep on Zeb's chest, her mouthing experimentally at his arm with the nibs of her milk teeth. There was a holo Kallus hadn't known Sabine had got – an image of him sitting cross-legged against a crate, dozing, with Arkalia lying in his lap, caught mid-yawn as she woke from her own nap. The next image was Zeb kneeling in front of them, smiling that same adoring, besotted smile. Following that was an image of Zeb kissing his forehead, and of him, smiling as he woke. Sabine must've scuttled off after that, because he remembered the moment, but he didn't remember seeing her there.

The holos followed, one after the other, images of all of them, smiling, laughing, happy.

A family.

Alex flipped through the images until his heart honestly _ached_ with the joy of it. This. _This_ was what he fought for...fought to protect. It didn't matter if he was worthy of it or not. It was still worth fighting for.

Ultimately, amazingly, the double agent actually found himself nodding off. Tired as he was, he took care to lock down the holo files and close out the datapad before actually allowing himself to fall back asleep.

If he did dream again, he was at least spared the memory of it.

XxX

Among the new recruits Trek had secured for them, there were mostly pilots. Interestingly enough, though, it was the Mandalorian girl who had some field medic training. A rare inclination among younger Mandalorians, none of the Spectres pressed the issue, relieved that between her and Kanan and Rex's practical experience, they were able to keep Zeb alive until they reached Atollon.

Likely, the only reason the Lasat had survived the attack at all was because he wasn't human. He was resilient enough, and _stubborn_ enough, to survive an injury that would've killed a human. But even now, as the base medics were seeing to him, Kanan wasn't completely certain that Zeb was going to pull through, and that was eating at him. So many times during the flight back, he had felt his friend drift so close to gone there had been several times he'd feared he was already dead. Even though he felt certain it had not strictly been Kuross' intention to kill, he also didn't imagine it truly mattered to him whether Zeb lived or died. All that would matter to him would be whether or not _he_ was the one to kill Zeb.

Arkalia had been bawling inconsolably ever since the _Ghost_ had made planetfall. Nothing any of them did could comfort the baby Lasat. So while the medics continued their work on the former guardsman, Ezra and Sabine had taken the little kit off somewhere, hoping to distract themselves just as much as her.

Kanan, meanwhile, was pacing anxiously outside of their rudimentary med center, waiting to hear something, _anything_. Senses on high alert, he felt Hera's approach before he actually heard her, exhaling despondently as she exited the room.

"Anything?" he asked her.

"Nothing new to report. It's still very touch-go in there. They're doing everything they can."

Kanan groaned in frustration, and before he could stop himself he was snapping out, "That's not good enough!"

"Kanan?" her voice came to him in question before she laid her hand on his shoulder. "You know there's only so much that can be done. With his physiognomy, they have to be very careful what types of biochems they use, or they could just end up making things worse."

"I know. I know," he bit out with another groan.

"Then what's wrong, love?"

Slowly, Kanan reached up a hand to rest over hers, shifting until they'd twined their fingers together. "I just- I can't help but feel like this is somehow _my_ fault."

"Kanan-"

"I _knew_ Kuross was out there. I _knew_ he'd have his sights on Zeb. I've just been so distracted lately. Maybe the Force _did_ warn me and I just wasn't listening. I don't know. I just feel like if I'd been paying that little bit more attention, I could've stopped this," he confessed, clinging tightly to her hand as he drew in ragged breaths.

Hera took a deep breath of her own before reaching up to slip his mask off. Then she leaned up to rest her forehead against his.

"You're not a miracle worker, Kanan. You can't be expected to take care of everything. Zeb's a capable warrior. He can handle himself. He knew there was a threat, too. It's just- sometimes things go wrong," she said softly, her breath ghosting soothingly against his skin.

"But that's what a Jedi's supposed to be _for_...for _when_ things go wrong. I should've-"

Before he could go off on himself again, Hera silenced him with a finger against his lips. "You can't live your life by these visions. You _know_ that. It's like you keep telling Ezra. You did exactly what you should have. The rest is up to Zeb."

Releasing a long sigh, Kanan finally nodded. "Yeah. You're right."

"Of course I'm right," she said, and he could practically feel the way her lips shifted into a small smile. "Do you want to wait here for him to wake up or do I need to find something else for you to do?"

"I- I think I'll stay here. I need to get myself centered again," he said, pulling her into his arms for a brief hug. He could feel her about to say more, but whatever she might've said, it was interrupted when his grip on her tightened minutely.

"What is it?" she asked, feeling his sudden tension.

"We're not quite alone anymore," he said softly, taking a step back from her.

He'd almost missed the sounds of the footsteps altogether, they were so light on the floor, but he did manage to pluck the whisper-soft noise from among the base's other ambient sounds. With footsteps that light, it definitely had to be one of the Syrens.

"You can come talk to us," he called out when the sound fell off some distance away. "We don't bite."

When the feather-light steps resumed, they were accompanied by a small, tired laugh. "Even if you did, you can't bite much worse than the Empire already has."

"You're one of the new ones," Hera said quietly, her voice taking on the tone of a person speaking to a spooked animal, but Kanan could also feel how she tensed when she turned to take in the young woman's appearance. "What's your name?"

"My name is Terachor Shylene."

"Rex said you were- dust bound," Hera continued in the same steady tone, though the last words came somewhat haltingly, and it was this that finally answered Kanan's question about Terachor and her sister. Her gait was light, but not light enough to account for what it should have been if she'd had wings. She was among the many young Syrens whose wings had been cut by the Empire. Dust bound was the phrase they used to refer to themselves.

There had been too much going on during the flight from Kafrene for him to attempt to untangle the emotions of their new recruits, but at Hera's words, he felt a profound sense of loss emanate from Terachor through the Force. Her next words were spoken light-heartedly, but for Kanan, they didn't mask the agony of her spirit.

"Well, I certainly hope you didn't think we could pilot for you if we still had wings. There hasn't been a fighter made yet that could accommodate a Syren's wingspan," she said with another small laugh. "Being a pilot helps, but...it's not really the same," she finished helplessly.

"I know. I don't imagine I can say I understand, but...I'm sorry," Hera soothed in that way of hers.

"It's all right," Terachor said quickly. "It was- many years ago. Mostly, I- I wanted to see how Captain Orrelios was faring."

"No news yet. The medics are still working," Hera told her.

"I see," she said, her voice heavy. "If there's anything any of us can do, please let us know. We feel bad about it...what you all went through to get us out of there."

"You don't need to," Kanan spoke up as he turned in her direction. "Some of us bear a bit more responsibility than others. Do you know how Kuross tracked you?"

"For that, you might have to talk to Zelina. I know Trek was taking responsibility, but she seems to think it was something she did. But you...you're a Jedi?" she asked him, voice dropping a little more in volume.

"I try to be," was his response. "But whatever I may or may not be, I _do_ know what it's like to lose a part of yourself."

He couldn't _see_ her nod, of course. Nor was there any particular sound that indicated it. It just seemed right to him when taken with the sense he got from her in that moment. He could also feel her getting ready to say something else, but she was interrupted by a sudden string of whistles from Chopper.

"No," Hera said pointedly to the little droid as he trundled up to them. "That's definitely not up for discussion. What were you doing in their bunk anyway?"

When Chopper reached them, Kanan could hear Hera taking something from him. She examined whatever it was for only a few moments before inhaling sharply.

"What is it?" Kanan asked her.

"It's Kallus," she responded in a hushed, pitying tone. "He's been trying to get in touch with Zeb."

XxX

(A/N) I...I think I broke Zeb and Rex. _Both_ of them. Shoot. I honestly hadn't meant to push things that far, but...I dunno. Things just kept happening, as they do. And I'd say I'm on a surefire route to breaking Kallus next. *sigh* Well, hopefully I don't keep you all hanging too long.

I _think_ my Mando'a is correct this time around. Either way, here's the translation for the conversation that was going on.

Vod - Brother

Ni cuyir ni ceta - I'm sorry.

Bic cuyir va gar betkr - It is not your fault.

Mhi cuyir slanar at slana'pir be ibic, a gar ganar at bu'cina mhi. Jetii alorir miai gupu sto - We are going to get out of this, but you have to trust us. The Jedi lead the way once more.

Ruus'alor - Sergeant

Gar kar'taylir bic cuyir tomad na ner betkr. Dinuir ni at etid. Mhi liser bu'bi'ha etid Ha'yr Arsane malyasa'yr sada jate'shya par ner yaim'ol - You know it was really my fault. Give me to them. We could convince them Clan Arsane would pay better for my return.

Nayc, ad'ika - No, little one.

Ibic solus cuyir harans gtahla. Gar cuyir kotep, a bic malyasa'yr am naas - This one is hells bent. You are brave, but it will change nothing.

K'oyacyi - Stay alive.

Rex...bruk etid - Rex...save them.

Plus, Kal's little bit of Lasana in his letter translates as All my love, Your Alex.


	9. Whatever Pain May Come

(A/N) Well, I know didn't keep you all hanging too long this time. ;D Let's see if I can keep this up. And let's see how our boys are fairing.

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 9: Whatever Pain May Come_

Kallus couldn't be completely certain at this point, but he didn't think he'd slept at all in the past seventy-two hours.

Reality had slipped into something of a daze ever since his brief transmission with Hera and Kanan. They'd informed him of the run-in with Giren Kuross, of Zeb's injuries and what little they'd learned of the bounty hunter's freelance work with Zaniva. Knowing it would be disastrous for all of them if he were to allow his worry to show on the surface, he had thrown himself into his search for Project Ash Warrior with renewed fervor.

 _He hadn't expected to receive a holo communication. It was either a very good or a very bad sign. Anxious to see the face of his lover, he was instead disheartened to see the face of the_ _ **Ghost**_ _'s captain._

 _"Captain Syndulla?"_

 _"Alex...something's happened to Zeb."_

Armed with the knowledge that Kuross contracted with Zaniva, Kallus had pushed his activities forward under the guise of reopening the case of Jidu Ailytè. Where her intel had ceased with Zaniva's planetside activities on Salear, his had been able to continue offworld, following Kuross' _professional_ trail throughout the galaxy.

And of course, not at all to his surprise, that trail led to Manaan.

 _"Thank you- for telling me," he said to Hera. "I'm certain it would've been a tactically superior choice to keep me uninformed. Thank you."_

 _"I'd be lying if I told you there wasn't debate about_ _ **not**_ _telling you. That would've been Commander Sato's preference," the Twi'lek said with a sigh, her holographic image flickering briefly. "But I know what he means to you, and I judged you were capable of handling the situation with a level head."_

 _"Thank you...Hera."_

The grueling search had been fueled by anger, terror, and desperation. The vow to himself that he would find the source of all this had been the only thing keeping him from going to the _Lawbringer_ 's bridge and dragging the ship out of hyperspace. Maybe crashing a Star Destroyer into a star could serve as some twisted form of penance?

 _Perhaps Hera's faith in my level-headedness was misplaced?_

Either way, he'd come out mostly alive on the other side of it, kept functional by caf and stims and caf _with_ stims. Now if he could just convince himself that the shadows in the corners of the conference room weren't _actually_ leering at him with Giren Kuross' face – _laughing_ at him with that uncouth voice.

 _Should'a killed me when ya had the chance, Imp. Your Lasat plaything's_ _ **mine**_ _now._

Seething and trembling, Kallus had to resist the urge to reach for a blaster. This was dangerous; he knew. It was _extremely_ dangerous to play this game of spies on so little sleep, but he was fairly certain that if he didn't find out the truth one way or the other before he left this room, he would simply go mad.

The first truth he'd had to face was that, whatever was happening on Manaan, one of his former superiors was in charge of the facility there.

Colonel Schader Masaada had been in command of the ground forces during the Siege of Lasan. With his knowledge of the Lasat people, it had been to her that he was assigned as a special agent, in command of his own company of stormtroopers. Between the two of them, they'd come to the decision to use the T-7 ion disruptors. They, along with four other officers, were the ones who had come to be known as the Butchers of Lasan – and Masaada was the one who had taken the fall for that decision.

The colonel had gone alone before the court-martial panel, taking full blame for the decision to use the experimental weapons. The only reason she hadn't been thrown in jail was that the suppression had been viewed as a great victory. Masaada had been in command of only four regiments and a company of stormtroopers. It had been said it was impossible to take Lasan with such a small force, but they'd done it. Were it not for the _how_ of it, she would've almost certainly been promoted instead of court-martialed. She'd insisted on taking full responsibility not only because Kallus was at the beginning of what looked to be a shining career, but also because hers would've been over regardless of the outcome.

She'd been blinded in the battle.

With the panel absolving her of the war crime charge, it would have been easy for Command to offer Masaada honorable discharge and a comfortable retirement. It seemed she had not taken such an offer, though. Whatever deal had been struck, she had spent the last decade quietly overseeing this top secret operation, serving as military attache to Zaniva. If nothing else, Kallus supposed he could be grateful he had something of an in with the project's commander, but that didn't mean he was any less uneasy to learn just what it was Project Ash Warrior was all about.

Taking a few deep breaths to center himself, Kallus squared his shoulders as he activated the conference room's holo communications, sending his transmission to Manaan. It didn't take long for a holographic image of Schader Masaada to appear before him.

The years behind the colonel were certainly telling. Even through the slight discoloration of the holo image, he could see the streaks of gray in her auburn hair, pulled back from her face into a simple Chandrilan knot at the base of her skull. A slender black visor banded her useless eyes, but the scars emanating from them were still visible, standing out starkly from her pale skin, particularly a long, ugly one that ran the full length of her face, from her right brow down to her chin.

"Greetings, Colonel Masaada," he said formally, inclining his head before he could remind himself that it was unnecessary.

"Alexsandr Kallus," she greeted in a tone that was part amusement and part curiosity. "I can honestly say I hadn't been expecting to hear from _you._ Still the ISB's darling?"

"Yes, for which I must thank you again," he returned, grateful to still be a part of the bureau, even if it was no longer for the reasons his peers would assume. "After all, it was you who saved my fledgling career."

"No thanks needed. It was the least I could do. The victory on Lasan was largely due to _your_ efforts, after all. A talent such as yours should not go to waste on the short sightedness of others."

"Thank you, Colonel," he said, making absolutely certain his voice would not break on the words before even daring to speak them. Praise for the skills he'd put to good use on Lasan were just about the last thing he wanted to hear right now.

"So, Agent, to what do I owe the pleasure of your comm?"

"I have been tracing a group of insurgents for some months. They identify themselves as Phoenix Cell and one of their number attempted to break into Zaniva's home offices some time ago."

"Mm, yes. I recall the incident," she said with a nod. "It was nearly quite the embarrassment."

"Indeed. We'd not initially been able to identify what Ailytè was looking for or just how much intelligence she was able to steal. She was liberated from our custody before I could conduct a proper interrogation, but I've recently been able to pick up her trail again. From what I can gather, it seems Phoenix Cell has become fixated upon your installation."

Masaada's forehead was only partly visible above her visor, but the small stretch he _could_ see wrinkled up in mild concern at his words.

"How would these rebels have learned of our work?"

"Zaniva contracts independently with bounty hunters, do they not? Rather than avail themselves of official military channels?" he pointed out. "Bounty hunters have never been the most trustworthy sort. _Anything_ can be had of one for the right price."

Sighing heavily, the colonel nodded. "You are right, of course. But _why_ should your insurgents be interested in this place? It's not exactly a tactical high point."

"To unravel _that_ mystery, I would need to know _exactly_ what sort of research is being undertaken at the Manaan facility," he said. A perfectly reasonable request from a perfectly reasonable ISB agent. There was no cause for her to refuse.

But, even so, the colonel tensed slightly at his request. "I have no doubt your clearance is high enough for this, Alexsandr, but you must understand...the Senate raised such a massive _fuss_ over the Lasat sixteen years ago. If _any_ of this were to ever get out-"

" _If_ the information ever got to the Senate, I guarantee you it would not be through me," he promised her. "But if a rebel cell already _has_ the information, then we need to do everything in our power to stop them interfering with your work. _I_ can help you do that. We just need to figure out what it is they might be after. Schader...you _know_ you can trust me," he needled her, feeling only a tiny twinge of guilt for the lie.

The colonel's countenance went pensive for several long moments. Moments in which the former Imperial kept his silence in waiting for her answer. He had said all he _could_ say. Anything more would either push her away or rouse her suspicions.

Ultimately, though, she nodded.

"I know I could trust you to do what needed to be done on Lasan. I'm sure I can trust the same of you now. Do you recall that we were tasked with the procurement of a ten percent genetic sampling of Lasan's population?"

"I do," he answered stiffly. "I suppose I'd always assumed that was- blood work. Collection of genetic samples for future research."

"Some of it was, but mostly it was collection of actual Lasat subjects. Juveniles were preferred."

"I see," Kallus said, maintaining a perfectly calm exterior, despite the revulsion slowly beginning to crawl up his throat. "I was- unaware of the particulars of the assignment."

"Indeed, you would've been. Your company had the task of breaching the enemy lines. Dana's battalions were tasked with...actually _filling_ Zaniva's order. And it was under express command of the Emperor that their project remain secret. _That_ was why it was never brought to account during my court-martial."

"And just what _was_ that project?"

And she told him.

She told him exactly what Project Ash Warrior was, and with every word from her mouth, he felt another piece of himself crumble and twist into ash, wearing down his already precarious sanity. That he could've been party to such a thing, whether unknowingly or not...that Arkalia was most likely a product of it...that the Empire he had once believed in was even _capable_ of something so abominable...if he'd had even a _scrap_ of faith there was something about this system of government that was salvageable, Schader Masaada destroyed it in little more than half a standard hour.

"Thank you for your time, Colonel," he said to her when she'd finally come to the end of it. "This has been most informative. I shall contact you again once I've learned more of what the rebels are planning."

"Of course. I will expect to hear from you," she said before cutting the communication.

Once the hologram had gone silent, Kallus stood before the projector for several minutes, not moving or speaking, barely even breathing. When he finally managed to convince himself to move, the first thing he did was use his code cylinder to deactivate the conference room's security protocols.

Safely off the Imperial network for a few moments, the agent let loose an angry, tortured scream as he delivered a blow against the nearest wall, relishing the snap of pain up his arm when his fist connected with the metal surface. Drawing in several ragged breaths, he sank slowly to his knees. It took him several minutes more to talk himself down from punching the wall again. He couldn't risk leaving the security deactivated any longer than he already had.

It was a testament to his ISB training, that he managed to make the walk back to his quarters with a perfectly calm and collected look fixed to his face. No one would've known to look at him the breakdown that was happening on the inside.

 _Monster._

 _Monster._

 _ **Monster!**_

Once he'd finally made it back to his quarters, he went straight for his datapad, hastily opening up Sabine's file to look through the holos from Alluvium.

Garazeb.

Arkalia.

 _My Zeb...my Lia..._

"Dear heart," he whispered in quiet agony as he looked on the kit's joyful face...on Zeb's loving smile, " _ni kyra_...I would give up all my time with you to come...if I could undo what they have done."

He kept flipping through the images, kept going until they began to blur in his vision, forcing him to acknowledge that he was crying – _sobbing_. He cried until he couldn't cry anymore, until he was empty of tears and his lack of sleep had finally caught up with him.

Utterly exhausted, Alexsandr Kallus curled up beside his bunk and fell into a deep sleep, his datapad still clutched loosely in one hand.

XxX

Kallus awoke to the sound of some rather aggressive banging on his door. It took him several sluggish minutes to recall exactly _why_ that was.

The cycle! He'd fallen asleep in the middle of the kriffing cycle. Probably missed an important meeting or two while he was at it. He leaped to his feet just in time for Konstantine to override the security on the door...

...and for _him_ to remember the unsecured datapad he still held clutched in his hand.

He kept a mostly neutral expression in place as the storm-faced admiral pushed his way into the room, despite the way his heart was pounding.

"Where, exactly, have you been?" he demanded, glaring at the ISB agent. "We've been trying to reach you for the better part of an _hour_ now."

"I- apologize," he answered in a stilted tone, sleep still clinging to his voice. "I must have nodded off."

"And slept like the dead if you didn't even hear your own comlink," the man hissed. "Cause for a write-up at the very least."

"The very least," Kallus conceded. "I have- overextended myself these last few days and it seems the strain has finally caught up with me."

"Then _you_ can explain yourself to the grand admiral," Konstantine told him, giving Kallus barely a moment to prevent himself from starting when Grand Admiral Thrawn entered his quarters.

"My deepest apologies, Sir," he said, inclining his head toward the Chiss while, beneath the surface, his thoughts raced. Had he really been so intent on Ash Warrior he'd missed the fact they'd been due to rendezvous with the _Chimaera_? "It seems I truly have been letting my work get away with me."

"There is no apology needed for dedication to duty," he returned, keeping eye contact with Kallus while Konstantine continued to go off.

"Dereliction could be an issue, though. We find you asleep on shift with an unofficial datapad in hand. What even _is_ that?" the man demanded, starting to reach for the device.

Kallus didn't waste time panicking, though he certainly felt the jolt of it through each limb. Konstantine was easy enough to deceive, but Thrawn would know instantly if he had something to hide. Without even looking, he entered a pre-programmed single tap command, instructing the datapad to purge all its contents.

"Nothing," he answered smoothly as the admiral took the now blank device in hand. "Spare datapad. I- think I'd been trying to take a few more notes before I fell asleep."

"There now," Thrawn said to Konstantine's clear frustration at indeed finding the datapad blank. "Hardly dereliction of duty. A simple case of oversight. Although...am I to understand that you have not been sleeping, Agent Kallus?" he asked as he turned his glowing gaze back to the agent.

Kallus briefly rubbed at his temples before answering. "As you said, Grand Admiral, merely a case of oversight on my part. I have been known to forgo sleep when working cases."

The Chiss sized him up for what felt like several long minutes. Kallus was unable to read anything in his expression, but that was typically the case with Thrawn anyway. It was almost the equivalent of a shout when he closed his eyes and tilted his head to the side before speaking again. "An unwise decision, Agent. Valuable an asset as you are, you are certainly no good to the Empire if you get no rest."

"Of course, Sir," he acknowledged, portraying an undercurrent of chagrin. "But it is sometimes difficult to deny the results of extra work."

"Difficult, but not impossible. I take it you have made headway with the Ailytè case?"

"I have. More than I had before, at least, but it may take some time yet to discover what the rebels are actually planning."

"Well, one must take good news where one may."

"Indeed."

"If we could perhaps return to the issues at hand," Konstantine suggested with a slight sneer between the two of them.

"Of course. You may return to your office, Konstantine. The agent and I will join you shortly."

Konstantine's eyes widened and his cheeks puffed out as half an indignant grunt escaped his mouth. Both men recognized the dismissal and the admiral seemed ready to protest, but that was before the Chiss turned his laser focus upon him.

"Admiral Konstantine?"

"Yessir," he said, saluting stiffly before exiting Kallus' quarters, leaving him alone with the grand admiral.

"Was there...something you wished to speak to me about, Sir?" Kallus asked when those red eyes alighted on him once again.

"Nothing of immediate consequence, but you do seem to have been placing yourself under considerable strain of late. Anyone half paying attention would see that you are in distress even now. The dried tear tracks on your face, for example," he pointed out, and though he did not come closer, Kallus had to resist the urge to take a step back, feeling distinctly like he was under attack.

The response he displayed instead was frustration, channeling the bolt of _fear_ that traveled down his spine into something like anger as he swiped at the dried tracks of salt on his cheeks. "Apologies," he stuttered out. "This is not- seemly."

"What is necessary is never unseemly. You _seem_ to be taking these more recent cases harder than several of your previous ones."

"Well...many of these assignments have brought back memories that are- not entirely pleasant for me," he stated, again offering information that was not untrue. There was little Thrawn could call him on if he wasn't actually lying.

"And has there been no psychiatric evaluation done?" Thrawn pressed him. "You were tortured, after all."

"No more than was required to return me to active duty. What was done was more...psychological than physical," he explained, falling back on what Kanan had told him to say he had attempted. "The Jedi...has many mind tricks."

"Of that much, I am aware. But it is all the more reason you ought to speak with someone about it, I believe."

Kallus shook his head. "You have not- been with the Empire all that long, as I recall. It would be seen as weakness...to seek such help. I am not helpless."

"Not yet," Thrawn said in a voice that may or may not have been a subtle threat. "But you may become so if you continue to let these memories plague you. Then you will _surely_ be of no use to the Empire."

By this point, Kallus truly had no idea if this was all genuine interest or concern on the Chiss' part, or if he was curious because he _suspected_ Kallus. But if he were already suspicious, wouldn't he just come right out with those suspicions? Maybe Thrawn really just couldn't figure him out? Besides, why should _Thrawn_ of all people even _care_ if he was haunted by memories? Grand Admiral Thrawn. The man Kallus was quite certain would go down in history as the slaughterer of the Batonn Sector.

"It's war. If _we_ cannot handle the difficult things, who will?"

"Who indeed?" the grand admiral returned with that same look of _almost_ curiosity Kallus had grown used to seeing from him of late. "Well, if nothing else, I can sympathize with the making of difficult decisions. I will permit you to handle this as you see fit. But know that if it continues to be a problem, I am not above _ordering_ a complete psychological evaluation."

"Of course, Sir," Kallus said, inclining his head minutely toward his superior. "I shall do my utmost to do better."

"Excellent. And now, I believe Admiral Konstantine and the others are awaiting us," he said, exiting the room without another word.

Kallus took a moment to leave his wiped datapad on his bunk before following after the grand admiral. In the wake of its loss, he felt an aching hollowness in his chest – an awful sense of loss. It had been a foolish, sentimental decision to keep those images with him, he knew, but...he'd _needed_ them, and he felt their loss keenly.

 _Get a grip, man,_ he scolded himself, briefly clenching his hands into fists as he trailed silently after Thrawn.

It wasn't as if the holos no longer existed. Sabine still had the originals. He could get them from her when...when it was safe to do so...

...if it was _ever_ safe to do so.

Either way, he couldn't allow himself to dwell on it. He would have to keep a tighter lid on himself than he ever had before if Thrawn was starting to notice any suspicious behavior on his part. He had no idea if the Chiss' prying was merely that of a concerned superior, or if it was maybe even...some sort of _game_ to him, because he _couldn't_ figure Kallus out. Whatever it was, he couldn't let it progress far enough for the grand admiral to follow through on his threat to order an evaluation. That would be _much_ too dangerous.

Whatever else was happening, he now knew, above all else, that he _had_ to figure out a way to shut Project Ash Warrior down. Its very existence mocked any ideal he'd hoped he' been fighting for on Lasan. It was an affront to the memory of the Lasat people, and a nightmare web that defiled those remaining who were still caught up in it. Worst of all, while it existed, it was a danger to the ones he loved. More than being Lasat, both Zeb and Arkalia would be considered prime _specimens_ for their abomination of a project. The thought was so abhorrent, he was almost certain he would've thrown up had there been anything in his stomach.

He would _die_ before he let that happen.

He would allow the galaxy to _burn_ before he _ever_ allowed Zaniva to get their hands on his family.

 _Zeb...I know this isn't what you would want to hear, but I vow...I_ _ **swear**_ _...if it takes the last breath in my body, I will stop this. I_ _ **will not**_ _let it go on._

XxX

"But _why_ don't you want it?"

"It's not really about what _I_ want, Zelina. The fact is virtually no other Mandalorian would want to see me with it."

Zeb shifted faintly as the voices drifted into his awareness. One he knew. Sabine. The other was unfamiliar, probably younger.

"But why should what _they_ want matter right now? They're not always right. Trek used to tell me-"

"Would _you_ want it? If the Dark Saber had wound up in _your_ hands, would _you_ be able to make the choice to take it up?"

What the kriff were they talking about?

"It _didn't_ come to me, though. It came to you. Any Mandalorian should be _proud_ to wield it."

"That's not what I asked you."

" _Ashla na silir sa Mand'aki'a,_ " he groaned in his own language as he blinked awake. "Some of us were still sleepin'."

Once the Lasat had properly come to, it was to find himself in the base's small infirmary. At some point, his armor had been removed and his suit was rolled down around his waist, leaving the heavy duty bacta patch on his left side bare for all the world to see. Beside the barely large enough cot he was laid out on, Sabine was sitting on the floor with another young human with Arkalia lying on a blanket between them, chewing intently on the other human's fingers. The girl's bodysuit was a mix of black and deep red, while her actual armor was a dark violet shade with accents in that same almost blood red color. The girl's skin was a shade darker than Sabine's and her mop of light brown braids was pulled back from her face, displaying a pair of wide dark brown eyes.

The moment Sabine heard his voice, though, she was leaping to her feet, everything else forgotten.

"Zeb!" she cried out, wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. The lance of pain from the still-healing wound told him exactly how badly he'd been injured if the mere grip of a human could cause such pain.

" _Karabast,_ " he hissed in a much higher tone of voice than he typically allowed to escape his throat, though he did manage to return the hug for a moment before Sabine was pulling back. "E- easy on down there. It's a bit tender."

"Sorry, sorry," she apologized as she stepped back, offering up a weak smile as she pushed a lock of hair back from her face. It looked like she was overdue for a haircut. "We've just all been so worried about you."

"What...what happened?" he asked, gaze slowly shifting between her and the other young Mandalorian. And when his brain identified the other girl as Mandalorian, the details slowly started to come back to him.

The mission to Kafrene...Rex's fellow clone...the new recruits...those _kids_...

Kuross.

He remembered the stab of pain when the bounty hunter's blade penetrated his side...the feel of warm blood, sticky in his fur.

He remembered the unwelcome press of the human's fingers against him, stroking upon an ancient pulse point no Lasat had any control over...a hated, unwanted bolt of _pleasure_...

"You don't remember?" Sabine's voice briefly cut through the flicker of nightmare.

 _"_ _ **Beg me.**_ _"_

 _"I know_ _ **exactly**_ _what you Lasats like," he whispers, breath hot against his ear as he rubs possessively at the pleasure point. "Been a long time there, Captain?"_

 _"D'ya_ _ **feel**_ _that, big boy?" he hisses with the harsh twist of the vibro-shiv. "Do ya feel me_ _ **inside you?**_ _"_

"No," he said, shaking his head, waving the girl off. He was _not_ going to give Giren Kuross the satisfaction of haunting his nightmares. "I remember well enough. Piece of kriffin' scum. How long was I out?"

"Four days," the new recruit supplied, gathering Arkalia in her arms before getting to her feet. "The shiv was probably tipped with some poison none of us could identify. You've been having fever episodes."

"I'll go let the others know you're awake," Sabine said before ducking out of the infirmary.

"Uh, uh, uh, dah!" Arkalia whimpered anxiously before a distressed trilling noise began to sound from her throat. Wriggling in the younger Mandalorian's arms, she reached out both hands for Zeb. The girl gave a small smile as she settled the baby on his chest, being careful to place her high enough above the injury site.

"Hey there, little squeak," he greeted the kit, purring as he cradled her close against him. As her unhappy noises began to shift into similar purring sounds, he nuzzled his face against her tiny head, unable to help the widening of his smile when she began to copy the gesture. Then she was climbing higher, squealing as she nipped playfully at his ear. "I hope you've been a good girl while I've been under."

"Not really," the young human admitted with a wry grin, "but she's been worried. Everyone has. I'm sorry- I don't know much about Lasat physiology. There wasn't much I could do during the escape."

"That's all right," he said as he looked over at her. "Most beings don't. Kuross was never plannin' to kill me. Would'a had to get my right side for that. Pretty sure he _knew_ that."

"I'm- Zelina, by the way," she introduced herself with an awkward bob of her head. "Zelina Arsane. Mostly people call me Zel."

"Zeb," he returned with a smirk as he tickled Arkalia under the chin. "Short for Garazeb."

Zelina nodded with a small smile of her own. "Hopefully I'll have a chance to get it right in the future. Saving your life, I mean."

"Well, you won't be hard up for opportunities. I'll tell you that much."

Zelina had only the chance for a single laugh before Sabine was reentering the room, Rex and Ezra right behind her.

"Zeb!" the young Jedi cried out, making to leap forward. "You're all right!"

"Yeah, no. None of that," Sabine stopped him by throwing an arm across his chest. "I already made that mistake once today, and I'd say our Lasat has a limited number of mistakes right now. You wanna hug it out, you do it gently."

Ezra rolled his eyes, grumbling in annoyance. "Fine," he said, being careful as he wrapped his arms around the former guardsman, squashing an indignant Arkalia between them. The motions were careful and gentle, but Zeb could feel the relief in the young man's much smaller frame as he hugged him.

"Thanks for not dying," Ezra said softly. "Ari wouldn't have been able to stop crying."

"Right. Can't have that."

"No, we can't," Rex agreed as he stepped up, briefly resting a hand on the Lasat's shoulder. "Nothing worse than children crying."

"Yeah. Noisy brats," he said, sticking his tongue out at Sabine and Ezra before pressing a kiss to the top of Arkalia's head.

"Hey!" Ezra mock-protested while Sabine stuck her tongue out in kind.

"On the subject of kids, though," she continued in a somewhat easier tone, "I do have some good news for you. Ketsu finally got back to me with that translation, so I've got a new song for you."

"Nice. Tell her thanks, yeah?"

"Sure."

"Zeb!" Hera's and Kanan's voices were next to join the fray. Zeb looked up to see them entering the infirmary with looks of relief on their faces. Hera approached and gave him a gentle hug while Kanan stood at her side, tension visibly draining from his body.

"It's good to have you back, big guy," the blind Jedi said with a wry smile. "You really had us going there for a bit."

"Sorry...for that, and for- not really listenin' to you before," he said.

Kanan shrugged helplessly. "Nah. I should've known better than to think you'd actually run away from a fight."

"Yeah, you're not exactly- _hrgh!_ " What he'd meant to say was broken off in the middle by his grunt of pain when he attempted to sit up.

"No, no, no. Don't push it," Hera scolded him as she plucked Arkalia from his arms. "I'll hold her while Ezra helps you sit up. You're not out of the woods just yet."

Zeb rolled his eyes, but he didn't protest when the young Jedi moved in to help him sit up. He felt a sting of bitter embarrassment at needing to be helped like this, but it looked like there was no getting around it. He wasn't fully healed.

"Well, other than my sorry backside wasting our med supplies, did I miss anythin' else while I was out? Maybe somethin' new from our Fulcrum?" he suggested, hoping for maybe a little more good news.

What he received instead was almost the exact opposite. The relieved warmth was sucked from the air like oxygen from an airlock. Zeb saw the nervous, uncertain looks his fellow Spectres were exchanging amongst themselves, every single one of them looking everywhere but at him.

"Guys?" he pressed, worried now. What had happened?

"It's-" Sabine started.

"There wasn't..." Kanan tried.

"He's not exactly-" Ezra also tried, with no more luck than the others.

"He's not hurt, is he?" he demanded, looking between them all, fear now creeping down his spine. "You guys? Don't do this right now. _Tell me_ he's all right."

Hera was the one to finally break through the awkward, fumbled explanations, a look of sympathy on her face as she shifted Arkalia into a one-armed hold. She then reached her free hand forward to rest on his shoulder as she started to speak. "Zeb...he was trying to contact you very soon after you were hurt. Most of command didn't want to tell him what had happened to you, but I felt he needed to know."

"Thanks. And?" he pressed anxiously.

"I'm not completely certain what he's been up to these last few days, but it looks like he might have intel on this Project Ash Warrior. He called for a meet up when you were well enough to travel. We're not sure what he has yet, but it looks like he wants _you_ to be the one to hear it," she finished.

"Right," Zeb said softly, much of the other noises of the base falling away as his thoughts turned inward. He didn't even want to _consider_ what Alex must've been through these last few days – the worry, the fear, the uncertainty. All he really wanted to do was rush to the former Imperial's side as fast as he could, to let him know he was all right. And if Alex had important information for him, he might get a chance to do just that. "Well...if Fulcrum wants a meeting, that's what he's gonna get."

The reaction from everyone was loud and instantaneous when Zeb made an attempt to rise from the cot.

"Zeb, what are you _thinking?_ " Sabine snapped at him.

"Hold on there, man," Ezra started, holding down one shoulder. Kanan was soon at his other shoulder, restraining him with equal force.

"Garazeb Orrelios," Hera began in her patented 'Mom' voice, "if you honestly think we're letting you leave this cot until you get a clean bill of health from the medics and a proper med droid, you must have _severely_ injured yourself back there. You're not going anywhere."

"But Hera-"

"No. Alex will understand. We'll contact him to let him know you're all right, but you're staying right here until a medic says otherwise."

Zeb rolled his eyes again, this time in frustration. Then he scrubbed a hand across his face before growling out, "Karabast. _Fine_. But can I at least send my own messages? I want him to hear all this from _me_."

Hera surveyed him a long moment before answering, "I find your terms acceptable, Captain Orrelios."

Zeb's ears flattened in annoyance, but he was happy he'd gained at least _that_ much of a victory. Besides, even if all he wanted to do was rush to his _Tinsana's_ side, he did have to concede that it would be better to wait until he was properly recovered. It would only add unnecessary worry to Alex's growing list of troubles. He didn't want to do that to him. He _couldn't_.

So, accepting Arkalia back from Hera, he settled in to hear what else he'd missed in his lost four days. It was, after all, a much better option than allowing himself to think too deeply on the events that had landed him here in the first place.

XxX

A regular watch was maintained around Chopper Base. Those brave individuals who fought for freedom against the tyranny of the Empire wouldn't be worth much to anyone if they couldn't even manage to protect their own base. So watch was kept at all hours of the cycle, and it was kept well, but in defense of the stalwart members of Phoenix Cell, they were looking for something to come _toward_ the base. _Not_ for something to move _away_ from it.

So the watch could hardly be expected to notice when a tiny figure crawled away from the rebel base in the middle of the night.

It would be difficult to say what was going through little Arkalia's mind as she crawled away from the safety of the base and out into the wastelands of Atollon, as her mind did not function in the same way as an adult being's did. Perhaps there was nothing in her mind? Or perhaps she was the only one who truly understood. It could not be said, one way or the other. So she crawled out into the darkness, unseen by the watch and ignored by the roving bands of krykna who moved through the planet's shifting stone and sand. She crawled, unafraid, guided on by something unknown...until a shape amongst Atollon's strange formations, nearly appearing to be just another mass of stone in and of itself, began to move. The massive figure shifted until a pair of distant, moonglow eyes were looking down on the baby Lasat. When the Bendu finally spoke, the surrounding stone rumbled with the force of its voice.

"So this is the child that has caused such a stir," it said as it looked her over, laughing quietly while tilting its head in curiosity. "Such a lot of trouble over such a little thing."

"A child always is," a gentle voice trickled from the shadows that surrounded the ancient Force-user – until out into the moonlight stepped Ahsoka Tano.

"Well, I suppose you would know, little mother," the giant being said, inclining its head down toward the infant strapped to the former Jedi's back.

"Yes," Ahsoka agreed, smiling tenderly down at the kit as she lifted her own little girl from her carrying sling. "I wasn't exactly expecting company, but I'm sure Mira will be glad of it," she said, lowering herself into a cross-legged position with the baby in her arms.

Though little Mira was distinctly Togruta in appearance, she still had a markedly different look than others of her mother's people. Her skin was much lighter than Ahsoka's, closer to that of her father, and where other Togruta younglings would have had patterning of some kind, the little nubs that would one day become her montrals consisted of smooth white skin. There was no other like her in all the galaxy – Ahsoka's precious daughter.

Mirjahaal Tano.

Rex's daughter.

Upon catching sight of Mira, the uncertainty that had lingered like a gathering storm cloud around little Arkalia's head dissipated instantly. Crawling forward with a curious coo, she came right up to them, reaching out with a single four-fingered paw to bat at Mira's tiny arm.

Mira was younger than Arkalia by several months, but the little half-Togruta was no less excited to meet someone closer to her own age. She smiled a wide, gummy smile at the little Lasat before letting out a happy squeal, reaching out with her own hand.

Ahsoka smiled warmly as she watched the two little girls play, speaking in their own language only they could understand. She couldn't say what it was that had called Arkalia to them. She was not Force sensitive so far as the former padawan could see. Perhaps it was just Ahsoka's presence here? A piece of space-time that didn't quite belong.

"It is of interest to me that you would risk coming here now, Ahsoka Tano," the Bendu said in its ever-contemplative tone. "After all, it would take little more than the wrong brush of a stone for the entirety of our reality to unravel around you."

"I know that," she returned with a small shrug. "And while I find that to be an over-dramatization of our actual state...some things are worth the risk."

"Love, perhaps?"

"Perhaps. I've already let too many I care about die. I can't let it happen again. Not when I have power to stop it," she responded fiercely, her hold on Mira briefly tightening.

"But _do_ you have power?" the Bendu asked her. "You cannot, after all, affect events as they are. Not without risk of harm to this tenuous balance."

"I have more power than _you_ can understand, even if it isn't much. I'll do what I can while I can still do it."

"Having experienced a death or two of your own, what death is it you now wish to prevent?"

Ahsoka shuddered at the press of the ancient being's intent. It knew already, she had little doubt, but wanted _her_ to give voice to it for whatever reason.

"I have- _seen things_...in my meditations. While I understand that the galaxy does not turn on one small life...I feel he deserves better. He deserves to have his faith rewarded," she said, drawing Mira up to rub her cheek reassuringly against hers. At the loss of her new playmate, Arkalia looked sadly up at them, pawing at Ahsoka's knee while Mira tried to reach down to her.

"This is what you feel? Even though you _know_ it was through the effort to avert such a loss that your own master was lost?"

"Even so. It's not the Jedi way...to choose attachment...but..."

"But...as you are so fond of pointing out, you _are_ no Jedi," the ancient being said with a faintly sardonic smile.

"Exactly."

Jedi or no, she understood the risk she was taking. The girl she had been when she'd first known Rex would have charged in lightsabers blazing in order to save her friend; consequences to the fabric of reality be damned. The woman she was now understood that such a direct interference would ultimately harm the man she wanted to save more than it would help him. She was limited in what she could do from the outside of their paralleled timelines, but what power remained to her, she intended to use. She was not going to let Rex waste his life needlessly.

"At a time like this, they would say that you must learn to let go of what it is you fear to lose."

"And the Sith?" Ahsoka found herself asking, though she couldn't quite help giggling when Arkalia started to climb her body to get up to Mira. "What would _they_ say?"

"The exact opposite, of course. It is not in a Sith's nature to let go of that which they perceive as belonging to them. The more they can possess, the stronger they believe themselves to be. What you will not let go, no one will _take_ from you," it said, gazing pointedly down at her.

"What about _you?_ " Ahsoka pressed, returning the intent stare without a shred of fear. "What do _you_ say? What's the way in the middle?"

" _I?_ " The Bendu raised an eyebrow, considering her for several long moments before continuing. "I say that to define love as a mere _attachment_...is to misunderstand what love _is_. What attachment is. If you believe that love is something that can be possessed or released upon a whim, then you do not _know_ love."

The young mother nodded. The more she came to understand what was between her and Rex, the more she was inclined to accept that sort of definition. The Jedi Order had somehow come to conflate love and attachment as the same thing in its twilight years, when they really weren't the same thing at all. The code forbid attachment. It did _not_ forbid love.

"Well," she started as she disentangled the two children from each other, carefully tucking Mira back in her sling before lifting Arkalia into her arms and climbing to her feet, "I hope that way is good enough for the Force, because that's the way I'm taking."

"Then much good may it do you, young _not_ -Jedi," the Bendu said to her as she turned and walked out into the desert. "I shall look forward to our next meeting."

"As will I," she called over her shoulder without looking back. From then on, her attention was only for the two babies still attempting to play with each other around her shoulders. She couldn't begin to guess how Arkalia had crawled so far from Chopper Base on her own, but it wouldn't have surprised her if the Bendu had something to do with it. It was possible that the baby Lasat was meant as a distraction, something to shift her from her course. But then the opposite could prove true, as well.

"Well, let's just hope your new family are all heavy sleepers tonight. We'd better get you back before they notice you're gone," Ahsoka said to the kit, tickling her under the chin and drawing out a pleased trill. Mira just giggled at her back. She was content to let the two girls laugh and play throughout her trek to the base, but she made certain to hush them both upon approach to the sentry lines.

It was easy enough to slip in among them, though a little bit more difficult to make certain she didn't appear in Ezra or Kanan's sphere of awareness, especially since it appeared that Rex was sleeping aboard the _Ghost_ tonight.

The easiest part of all this was following the sense of _him_ in her mind. Ever since she'd saved his life on Mandalore, she'd been able to sense him, no matter how distant from each other they'd been. It had been a comfort to her in the years they'd been apart, even though she couldn't communicate with him or know where he was, she could at least reach out and know he was still alive. At times, that had been the only thing keeping _her_ alive.

That bond had only grown stronger with time, and as much of a comfort as it was to her, it was also pain. She had been able to sense his grief for her and Mira across the vastness that separated them. That near constant ache had been with her during her months of carrying their daughter and during her convalescence on Ahch-to after Mira's birth. Much though it was killing her not to be able to reach out to Rex, not to ease his suffering and let him know they were both alive, she also knew the greater harm she could cause them all if she gave in to that longing. If her friends learned she was alive, she would have to explain why that was and that could bring harm to future events. Back when Ezra had pulled her from her place in time, she had been prepared to die. Barely along in her pregnancy, she hadn't yet _known_ her daughter. Not really. It would have been a tragedy, but one she was prepared for. Now, though? Now it was not a risk she was willing to take. So she'd endured her love's quiet agony in silence of her own, up until a week ago.

Her captain's pain, rage, and grief had _screamed_ to her across distances. In his moment of abject anguish, she had been able to see his thoughts clearly – witnessed his heart breaking upon learning Darth Vader's true identity.

And she had felt it like a brand on her heart when he had sworn to get revenge for her death.

She couldn't tell him not to directly, couldn't tell him there was no need for it. Even this fresh torment she'd been prepared to endure with him, but then she'd begun to see scraps of an uncertain future, in her dreams and in her meditations.

 _Vader, his back to a battered and bloody Rex as he surveys some sort of dogfight happening above a crashed Star Destroyer. Though the clone's hands shake, he keeps a blaster aimed at the back of the Sith lord's helmeted head, and though there are tears streaming down his face, his voice is resolved._

 _"It doesn't matter what you were before. It doesn't even matter what you are now. The only thing that matters is that_ _ **you're**_ _here and_ _ **she's**_ _not. I_ _ **will not**_ _let that stand!"_

 _"The apprentice was weak," Vader says in that uncanny, mechanized voice, not even turning back to look at his former comrade. "She could have survived had she only had the will to do so."_

 _Rex screams in rage as he lets fly a hail of blaster fire, which Vader easily deflects with the lightsaber that's suddenly in his hand. When the rain of fire finally comes to an end, Rex is standing there, shaking and breathing hard, while Vader looks no worse for wear._

 _"_ _ **AHSOKA!**_ _" Rex cries out in anguished fury before letting loose a fresh storm of fire. "HER NAME WAS_ _ **AHSOKA!**_ _"_

 _Vader doesn't bother to redirect the plasma bolts this time. He simply stops them with the Force, stepping clear of them before turning that power on the clone, lifting him clean off his feet and cutting off his air._

 _"This is pointless. If you are too weak to survive without her, CT-7567, then-" With a single twist of his hand he brings Rex flying forward, impaling him on the ignited blade of his lightsaber._

 _"-you may join her."_

She couldn't intervene. She _knew_ that. But she couldn't just let it happen, either. If nothing else, she could give Rex the comfort of her presence, even if it was only briefly.

Moving silently through the _Ghost_ , she gave a gentle sleep command to all its inhabitants, taking every precaution to make sure none of them knew about her visit. She also gave the subtlest of suggestions to the two little girls she carried – the impression of quiet.

Rex was sleeping in what sometimes served as Kanan's room, as Ahsoka knew that Kanan and Hera mostly shared a bed these days. Setting Arkalia down on the cabin floor, she took a moment to lift Mira from her carrier, cradling her close as she sat down with her at Rex's side.

Normally, she knew, he would not sleep so soundly. He was a trained soldier, and he would wake at the smallest noise. Often, their lives would've depended on such a response time. But now, he slept on, soothed into a proper rest by her gentle promptings. Much as she would have loved to let him wake and see her, see his daughter, she couldn't let him know she was here. This had to be quick.

"Hey, Rexter," she said softly as she stroked the side of his face, speaking the words aloud, but also giving them directly to his mind through the Force. "It's been a while. I'm sorry it has to be this way, but...I don't know of any other way to protect you... _all_ of you."

The clone shifted slightly in his sleep, but he didn't wake. The motion itself said he was settling, but Ahsoka could see the way his hands twitched briefly. Something inside of him was already fighting her suggestions. Maybe...even fast asleep...maybe some part of him _knew_ she was here?

"This is our daughter," she said as she held the baby girl up, letting her properly see her father. "Her name is Mirjahaal. You can't _imagine_ how badly I wish you could meet. I know you loved her from the very beginning...that you love her even now. I know you'll be- a wonderful father...and someday you'll have the chance to be. Though you might not have to wait even that long. I know you're doing wonderfully with Arkalia and...perhaps this new Mandalorian of yours could use a friendly shoulder...since she's just lost a man who was like her father."

"Hu-uh...'soka," he called out faintly from the depths of his dreams. "Ahsoka..."

She couldn't keep this up for much longer. There was no way she could continue to have all that much effect on someone as strong-willed as Rex.

"Rex... _please._ Please...be comforted in knowing that for us, for me and for our precious child, all is well. The only pain we suffer is that we miss you. We miss you _so much_. But we are with you...always. We're here together. Our family is never further apart than it is right now. Even if we _were_ truly gone, our love will never leave you. You don't _need_ to seek vengeance for us. Anakin may be gone, but killing Vader wouldn't change any of this. You aren't strong enough to face him, so I'm asking you...I'm _begging_ you...don't go up against him. Don't throw your life away. I'll come back to you. I promise I will, but you have to stay alive for me. You can't quit now. Rex...my Rex...I love you," she whispered to him as she leaned down close to him, pressing her forehead against his.

" _Ner Ahsoka..._ " he called out helplessly, really beginning to fight now.

When she pulled back from him, she was saddened to see the tracks of tears streaming down his face. The sight so clawed at her heart that her control slipped...just for a moment...and his eyes flickered open.

For a moment, he looked up at her, smiling, but it was a smile so full of pain it nearly broke her heart.

"Please..." he said softly, his voice tight with tears, clearly thinking he was still dreaming, "oh, _please_...don't leave me. Don't leave me again. I can't- take it."

Not trusting herself to speak without crying, Ahsoka simply continued to smile for him, despite the crushing sorrow that was behind the smile.

"I love you...I love you...I _need you_."

"I'm here. I'm _right here,_ " she whispered in a shaky voice, pressing a hand to his heart. Then she leaned down one last time and pressed a long and lingering kiss to his lips – a kiss that would have to last them both until they could be together again...

Rex gasped sharply as he snapped awake, sitting bolt upright in bed.

"Ahsoka?" he called out without thinking. For an instant, just an instant, he could have sworn he'd seen her smile...felt her kiss...

Shaking his head, he buried his face in his hands. Ahsoka wasn't here. She was gone. She'd been murdered...by her own _master._

"You're crackin' up, old man," he scolded himself. When he received a small coo in response to his words, he looked down in surprise to see Arkalia on the floor beside the bed.

"What are you doin' in here, little girl?" he asked as he leaned over, easily lifting her into his arms. The kit purred happily when he began to stroke the fur behind her ears. Glancing toward the closed door in confusion, he looked down at her. "How did you _get_ in here?"

Within moments, his door was sliding open to reveal Kanan standing there in nothing but his sleep pants. From what the clone could see of his expression, he looked concerned.

"Rex? Are you all right?"

"Yeah. Why?"

Kanan exhaled loudly, head shifting in several different directions before focusing back on him. "Honestly? I don't know. Something felt...off."

Rex shrugged as he climbed out of bed, easily rocking Arkalia. "Well, far be it from me to question a Jedi on how something _feels_ , but I'm fine. Just- dreaming," he said, voice becoming stilted and tense at the last. "Woke to find that a certain baby girl couldn't sleep," he said, shifting her in his arms so he could tickle her tummy, which earned him an excited squeal and several uncoordinated kicks with those strong little legs of hers. "Though...I do have to wonder how she got out of Sabine's room and into this one. That might be a bit off."

"Heh, might have to start properly locking the doors at night, if she's a capable enough escape artist to get out of her crib. But you're sure nothing's wrong? I could've _sworn_..."

"Nothing _I_ know about. I'll let you know if something comes up. For now, though, I think I'm gonna hold onto little miss Kali. I could use a roommate."

Kanan laughed quietly before stepping back out of the room. "All right. We'll let Sabine know in the morning. Sleep tight, you two."

"Night," Rex called back before the door slid shut. He made sure to lock it before heading back to bed with Arkalia tucked in his arms. While he cradled her close, he hummed an old song for her – a marching chant from his GAR days.

He had never been one for sleeping all that much, and when he _did_ sleep, it was never deeply, but tonight was different. He couldn't say if it was the kit's presence or something else entirely, but he felt lighter tonight than he had in a long time – happier, even. When he drifted easily off to sleep with her, he didn't awaken for several hours.

XxX

Zeb wasn't all that surprised when Kallus designated Nar Shaddaa as their rendezvous point. While it was an obvious choice as far as "illegal" activity went, by that same logic, it would be fairly easy for them to disappear amongst the moon's teeming hotbed of underworld activity. It would be easy to lose any potential tails either of them might pick up. Yet another reason they'd agreed to behave as if this were a random hookup. Any additional layer of security would be useful...and certainly not un-enjoyed by them if it came down to it.

The designated club was a little hole-in-the-wall joint known as Moon Dust, and it had a particular reputation among those whose tastes ran outside their own species. Zeb had frequented it more than once since Lasan, and while he wasn't certain if Kallus had, you wouldn't know it might have been his first time to see him sitting at the bar when Zeb walked in. There was something almost amusing in watching him casually flirt with the bartender. The Alexsandr Kallus he knew was much too straitlaced to legitimately flirt on his own behalf but, if he was working, it seemed there was no part he couldn't play. He'd just finished complimenting the Cathar male's fur when Zeb sidled up to the bar.

"Two Dathomiri sunrises," Zeb ordered when the Cathar turned his attention his way, letting Kallus know he was there and that he hadn't been followed.

The former Imperial smirked sideways at him as he looked him up and down.

"Pretty strong drink, that. Mean to drink both of those yourself, do you?"

"That's the notion. There's not many what could keep up with me," he returned with a grin that was just as flirty, just as inviting.

"Bet _I_ could," he said in a voice that was almost a growl, pretending to a bit more inebriation than he was actually under.

"That a fact, human?" he challenged, grin widening a little more as he took in more than a casual eyeful of his lover, decked out in civilian clothing with his golden hair less than regulation. He really was beautiful, and Zeb would've undoubtedly preferred it if this really _were_ just a night out, but at that, he also couldn't help but notice the telling shadow of the dark circles beneath Alex's eyes. He was far from all right and that, in turn, sparked Zeb's worry, but anybody who didn't know the human wouldn't know that. All they would see was a handsome human specimen with nice manners and perhaps a few too many drinks in him.

"Naxa?" Alex called to the Cathar when he returned with Zeb's order. "Another one of those sunrises if you please. The game is on."

And that was Zeb's cue. Alex _was_ being watched. If he'd managed to shake any tails he'd had, he would've taken the second drink from Zeb. Now, it seemed, they were due for another of their infamous performances. Only Zeb imagined he just might enjoy this one a bit more than many of the previous ones.

The Dathomiri sunrise was composed of no less than four different liquors, one of which was not advised for humans to overconsume, but that Zeb found created a buzz that was similar enough to the wine of his homeworld when generously partaken of. The drink was so dark a red as to almost be black, and Zeb quickly downed half his first one while they waited on Alex's. He took only one sip of the drink when it arrived. What followed was a game of surreptitiously swapping glasses to make it appear that Alex was drinking more than he actually was, allowing him to act progressively more drunk as the night wore on while still keeping his whits sharp. Zeb was left with a manageable but pleasant buzz, drawing the former Imperial closer by inches as they talked and flirted.

By the time the three drinks had been downed, Alex was half-sitting in Zeb's lap. Leaning heavily against him, the agent began to paw ineffectually at his belt. Groaning in frustration, he gave a clumsy grind of his hips.

"Honestly, who are you trying to keep out here," he joked, mouthing awkwardly at Zeb's chin.

Zeb laughed as he reached to grip Alex's wrists in firm hands. "You got a room yet or should I get one? This is gonna get interesting if we keep this up out here."

Alex nodded. "While I have no problem...putting on a show...left pocket, room 210," he mumbled before finally managing to capture Zeb's lips in a sloppy kiss.

"Right," Zeb breathed against his lips when they finally separated. Not allowing the human to pull away from him, he slid his hands beneath his backside and stood, holding him firmly against his body. Alex honest-to-Ashla _giggled_ at the sudden upward motion, wrapping his legs around Zeb's waist. The Lasat instantly felt himself go half-hard with the sound and the movement.

Karabast, if _only_ this wasn't an act.

The bartender, Naxa, eyed them with a smile that was half-warning. "You be careful of him." the Cathar said to Zeb. "He'll be feeling that sunrise in the morning."

"Yeah. No worries," the former guardsman reassured him, unable to resist indulging in a show of strength by actually walking from the bar with Alex wrapped around him. He could feel the way the human trembled against him as he moaned, able to tell by the scent of him that the response, at least, was not faked in any way.

As Zeb moved through the back corridors that led to the club's private rooms, Alex made a very deliberate move by grabbing ahold of one of the corners that led off down a supply corridor, stopping their forward motion.

" _See_ ," he whispered breathily in Zeb's ear as he ground his hips against him a little more insistently. "She has to _see_ us."

"Can do," he growled back, moving a little further down the side corridor and pressing Alex harshly up against the wall, claiming his mouth with his own as he ran his hands up and down his sides, just taking in the feel of him.

Alex gave a needy groan as they moved together against the wall, pressing frenzied kisses and stealing desperate caresses. Despite the act they were putting on, Zeb could feel in the way his lover clung to him how _fiercely_ he had missed him.

"Ha... _ah_... _touch me,_ " the agent panted against him, both a command and a plea. Zeb was only too happy to comply, running his fingers over every inch of skin he could get at.

And there, just at the edge of his awareness, his more-than-human senses picked up on the presence of another person – a subtle scent, the whisper of movement beyond their little corridor.

"Oh, stars... _oh, stars_ ," Alex gave a very showy gasp, fingers tangling in Zeb's fur.

"You're talkin' a lot. Lemme show you what you can do with that _mouth,_ " Zeb growled at him, and once again, just at the edges of his perceptions, he heard a small noise of disgust. Then the Imperial spy was gone and he and Alex were alone.

"Come on," Alex whispered to him once they'd given their nemesis ample time to depart. Then he was pulling him back down the corridor and toward room 210.

Zeb was used to it. It didn't sting as much as it once had – the unchecked sneers, the huffs of disgust, the offhand dismissals – but it also occurred to him that Alex might _not_ be used to it, that he might well be the first non-human lover the former Imperial had ever had. But if that was what was bothering him at all, it didn't show in the way he yanked the Lasat into the room. Then Alex was leaning against the closed door, pulling him in close, and Zeb was half certain if he and the door weren't holding him up, the agent would've collapsed already.

All in an instant, the act disintegrated, leaving Zeb with a man clinging to him so desperately, it felt like he might never let go. His breathing was so ragged, the Lasat thought for a moment he might actually be crying, but that turned out not to be the case.

"Hey...it's okay," he made an awkward attempt at soothing the human. "It's okay."

"You're all right?" Alex whispered against his neck. "Really?"

"Yeah. All patched up. He was never gonna kill me. He's the sort who'd have to make a show of it," he said, trying to lift the agent's face with a few gentle fingers beneath his chin, trying to look him in the eye. But even then, Alex kept his eyes cast down.

"When he approached me in the market that day...when he even _implicated_ what he was capable of doing to a Lasat...I should've killed him."

"Alex-"

Zeb stopped short when he felt the agent tense against him. After several calming breaths, Alex whispered against his lips, "Say it again."

"Huh?"

"My name...please...say my name. Just say my name," he begged, fingers running desperately through the Lasat's fur.

"Alex," Zeb whispered in gentle compliance, pressing a kiss to his lover's forehead. "Alex," he said again with a worshipful press of lips to his temple, raising his fingers to run them through his hair. " _Alex,_ " he offered up like a prayer before laying his next kiss to a pulse point in the former Imperial's neck, drawing a long, relieved sigh from him. He could physically _feel_ the human relaxing into his embrace.

"Stars, but I was worried about you," he said softly, nipping affectionately at Zeb's ear. "I'd half-begun to wonder if I'd ever hear anyone call me Alex ever again."

"Can't shake me that easy. Bordok-headed Lasat, remember?" Zeb pointed out, nuzzling his face contentedly against the human's neck, working his scent into the skin there.

"Speaking of Lasat, how's our little princess doing?" Alex asked him, seeming to regain a good bit of his composure just from speaking of the little kit.

"Queen of the rebellion, that one," Zeb answered with a small laugh. "Everybody loves her, and how could they not? But you'll see for yourself when we head back to the _Phantom_."

"She- she's here _now?_ On this moon?" Alex asked him, expression caught somewhere between joy and worry. "You brought her with you?"

"Course I did. Knew you'd wanna see her. Don't worry. She's with Chopper right now. He'll take good care of her."

Alex shook his head, offering up a small smile as he looked up at him. "While I don't doubt you, I half-wish we could go straight away. But we do need to give our dear Lighieri time to head back to Coruscant."

"Right," Zeb said with a small grimace, shaking himself off at the scant thought of the Imperial tail. "Why was she followin' you anyway? Are they...gettin' suspicious?"

"No more than is typical of the ISB. It is common practice for the Bureau to keep tabs on its agents. As I was permitted to take my Leave time early for this particular round, I was a prime candidate."

"And it's not gonna cause you trouble down the line? Them knowin' you meet up in places like this for anonymous hookups with non-humans?"

"Certainly not. If anything, it can only help us. If they believe my only misdemeanor is an unfortunate predilection for alien flesh, they will not look too deeply for any others. It will give me space to do my work more freely. We'll just give her long enough to assume we've done what we need to do with each other before we head back out."

"Heh, okay," Zeb agreed, and though a fairly _sizable_ portion of him wished they could _actually_ go about doing such things, there were still other things that needed to be done. "So what's this about? Hera said you'd- found Ash Warrior?" he prompted.

Alex looked away from him at this. It wasn't visible on the surface in any way, but Zeb could almost swear he saw a shudder pass through the man's frame. Before he looked back up at him, his first move was to take one of Zeb's hands in his. Then he raised it to his face, carefully regarding every inch of it before pressing a kiss to each of Zeb's rounded finger pads.

"I have," he started in an unsettlingly quiet voice. "And it's no bedtime story. But...before I explain it to you, there- there are some things I want to tell you...things about myself. I want- to be able to _explain_ ," he said, already struggling to get the words out.

And Zeb understood. He understood perfectly what this was. It was Alex attempting to do what he hadn't been able to before – tell him about his past...about what had led him to Lasan. Maybe finally put some of the demons that lurked behind his eyes to rest at last.

"Hey, calm down," Zeb said in response to his already apparent fear. Shifting the hand the human held so that he could cup the slighter male's cheek in a firm, but comforting hold, he ran a thumb along that cheek. "It's gonna be all right. I'm gonna go ahead and tell you right now. _Nothin'_ you say is gonna turn me from you. Whatever you have to say, I can take it."

Alex stilled for a moment, eyes rimmed faintly with red before he slid them closed, leaning heavily into Zeb's touch, holding the Lasat's much larger hand greedily against his face.

"We'll see," he whispered. "I love you. I love you _so much_."

XxX

(A/N) Ready for some Kallus backstory, kittens? 'Cuz that's what you're gonna get next time. Heheh.

Also, I'm gonna blame Moana for this, but ever since I saw Temuerra Morrison playing an overprotective father, I have been dying to see Rex as a dad, so that's definitely starting to work its way into the story. What can you do? Eheh, eheh, eheh.

And a bit of translation for Zeb. He was saying, 'Ashla save me from Mandalorian bratlings.' And I do believe that's everything, chickadees. See ye next time!


	10. It Isn't the Love of a Hero

(A/N) Well, m'dears, here's that backstory I promised ye. Hope you enjoy!

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 10: It Isn't the Love of a Hero_

Alex ordered a bottle of Corellian brandy to be brought to their room before launching into his story, which Zeb didn't seem to begrudge him in the slightest. With his worry over the Lasat these last few weeks, he'd half been able to forget about his fears over what he still had to tell him. But now, with it staring him so suddenly in the face, he was afraid his courage might fail him again. So, once a droid had brought the bottle and two glasses up and they were settled on the bed, each with a glass, Alex took a few swallows of the liquor and began.

"Well...I suppose the best place to start would be with my parents."

"Heh, goin' back a bit far, are we," Zeb said, lifting a teasing eyebrow.

Alex returned the look with a side eyebrow of his own. "Oh, it's relevant, I promise you. I just...it's not as if I've ever shared any of this with anyone."

"Right. Go on."

Alex sighed, staring into his drink for a long moment before continuing. "This was the worst kept secret at Royal Imperial, but...my mother was an escort."

"Huh?" Zeb interrupted, and when he looked up at the much larger man, it was to see his round eyes narrowed in confusion.

"An escort? You've never heard the term?"

"No."

"A prostitute?"

"Oh. Okay," he said, nodding slowly, except there was still confusion in his gaze. "Is that a bad thing?"

Alex faltered for a moment at that one, not really having expected such a reaction. "Well...there's no way to make it sound like an achievement. Prostitution is typically viewed as- less than savory. It wasn't like that on Lasan?"

Zeb shrugged. "It's a job, like any other."

Alex gave a small chuckle before taking another sip of brandy. "More free-thinking than Coruscant, I suppose. But then, what world _isn't_ more free-thinking than Coruscant? The point being, however, that my mother was not a highly viewed member of society. Although as an escort, she had more choice over her clientele. Hers was an organization that did a great deal of business within the Galactic Senate. That was how she and my father came to...transact...as it were. I don't- know the particulars of my own conception...but I do know that my mother elected to keep me...when it would've been just as easy for someone in her position to shuffle an unexpected child off to an orphanage," he said before draining his glass and reaching for the bottle. He would be lying if he said it wasn't a little harder to think of his mother now – now that he understood what she'd been through...what she'd sacrificed...

"'S' not such a bad start," Zeb prompted him when he didn't immediately continue. "So what happened?"

"I could not- understand this until many years later; I was only four at the time, but my mother wanted a better life for me. Better than simply taking up her trade, or winding up in Coruscant's lower levels. So she made a deal with my father, the senator of Salear, Orin Syfarre. He'd had no interest in me up until then, but my mother somehow managed to strike a bargain. Syfarre would provide for my future, would see that I had a proper education and decent connections. All she had to do in return was give me up."

Alex felt Zeb stiffen beside him, a low growl sounding in his throat. Knowing how important family was to the Lasat, he had figured he wouldn't much like this part of the story, but he had to get through it, just the same. So he kept on, nursing his drink all the while.

"No contact. I would be surrendered as a ward of the state and enter the academy system when I was of age. At the time, of course, it was still the Republic, but a ward of state is a ward of state."

Zeb grunted before draining half a glass in one go. "Typically wouldn't think much of a parent who dumped their kid, but- I guess I can see where she was comin' from. Wanted to give you your best chance. So...you haven't seen her since you were four?"

"Oh, no. I've seen her," he reassured his lover, smiling faintly as he took a somewhat longer sip. Distantly, he wondered if he could sway Zeb into letting him actually down one of those Dathomiri sunrises. "She was a smart woman, my mother. Not one jot of my own intelligence comes from Syfarre. That was all her. She would find ways to communicate with me without detection. Little things...small messages and gifts...our own secret code. I never _saw_ her, as such...but I knew she was there. She made _damn_ sure her son knew he was loved, even if we couldn't be together."

"Heh, I'm startin' to like this woman," Zeb said with a warm chuckle.

Alex sighed as he leaned against the Lasat. "Indeed, you would have. Certainly if your predilection for my own sense of humor is any indication. But...as much as she tried to be there for me within the confines of her bargain...Syfarre was also a defining force in those early years. It was never easy, growing up among the children of the elite as the son of an escort, and that man went out of his way to make certain I _knew_ what I was...that I understood my place in the proper _order_ of things. If Syfarre'd had his own way, I'm quite sure he would've seen to it I rose no higher than the rank of midshipman before falling quietly into obscurity. Unfortunately for him, I was the son of Amara Kallus. It was under my own merits that I gained notice, during the days of the Republic academy system and again when Royal Imperial Academy was founded under the auspices of Palpatine's declarations."

Zeb growled again at the mention of the Emperor, draining his glass, refilling it, and actually draining the _second_ glass all in one go. Alex shook his head as he briefly pulled away from the former guardsman, looking to him with a pleading expression. "I know how it came out. Of _course_ I do, but you need to understand...what the galaxy looked like to me in those days. I wasn't all that much older than Ezra at the onset of the Clone Wars. I was just beginning to understand how hopelessly corrupt the supposed "right" side of the war was. I was realizing how badly the man who had _fathered_ me had abused his power in his dealings with my mother...in keeping her silent. I didn't learn until later- just how _badly_ he treated her. The whole system was diseased and vile and depraved. I was honestly ecstatic when Palpatine declared it would be dismantled. I didn't care then what it might be replaced with. I just wanted to see the system that had allowed a man like Syfarre to operate at all _burn to ashes,_ " he snarled quietly, gripping his glass in impossibly tight fists. Really, it was a wonder the glass didn't shatter.

There were so many ugly memories of the senator of Salear, so many moments he'd wished for nothing more than to be able to put a blaster bolt through his head and hadn't been able to. He'd been such an angry young man – angry with no way of releasing that anger, blind to what the hatred between himself and his _father_ was turning him into. Alex didn't realize just how fiercely he was _shaking_ with rage until he felt Zeb's arms around him once again, holding him securely against his chest.

The Lasat didn't say anything at first. He just held him close, making a gentle purring noise while he ran a hand up and down his back. The comforting sound reverberated throughout the agent's body, soothing him in ways he hadn't known it was _possible_ for him to be soothed. Just as Zeb spoke, he gave a relieved sigh, half-collapsing into his strong hold.

"It's okay. _You're_ okay. It's over now," he whispered to him, pressing a chaste kiss to his temple as he cradled him in his arms, and for that brief moment, Alex allowed himself to cling to his lover, taking the comfort he offered. "Would'a liked to kill that bastard for you myself if I could have."

Alex gave a small, pained laugh at that one. "You, myself, and countless others. But my mother beat us to it. I'm quite certain she had a hand in his demise."

Zeb offered up a laugh of his own at this. "Hah! Now I _really_ like her."

Alex smiled faintly, shaking his head as he leaned ever more intently into Zeb. "I see now- that Syfarre never would've received his just reward under the system the Empire became. He could've operated quite comfortably within its bounds, but I didn't see that when I was younger...or perhaps I didn't _wish_ to see it. I had struggled for so long in his shadow that- maybe I simply had no _choice_ but to believe in the cause I'd given myself to. Either way, my mother took the justice that was owed her, and I became a rising star of the nascent ISB. It was a high point of my early work with the bureau – routing out corrupt and disloyal individuals. It was, in fact, what took me to Onderon all those years ago...pursuit of a corrupt business magnate who had ties to Gerrera's partisans," he explained, swallowing heavily before finishing with, "I believe you know the rest."

Zeb nodded, tracing a hand through his hair as he sighed. "Wish I knew who that merc was. I'd like to know who it is what thinks they can so casually dishonor a bo-rifle."

"I admit I became quite fixated myself. Because they...my first unit...we were not unlike you and the other Spectres," he admitted, feeling a painful lump forming in his throat with the confession. He shuddered as each long-dead face drifted through his mind in a macabre slideshow.

Alain Trance. Gad Tenar. Klaidissa Anasch. Reeve Orha. Alita Kuron.

His unit. His squad. His guys. His...

"I'm sorry," he heard Zeb's voice through the sudden silent roaring in his ears. "I never told you that...before...on Bahryn. I _get_ that. I'm sorry for what you lost."

"I was their leader," he hissed, acknowledging Zeb's words simply by nuzzling his face into the fur on his neck, but now that he'd started, he couldn't seem to stop. "I was responsible for them. They were _my unit_...and I _failed them._ Klaidi wasn't even a year into her first deployment! A kriffing _year!_ " he cried out, voice going high before it suddenly became stopped in his throat. He bit down hard on his lip, to the point of drawing blood. If he kept going down this course, he knew he might never stop. So, cleaving tightly to the Lasat for several moments, he just held fast to the reality of him, the steady presence that held him up and supported him as no other living being ever had. Zeb didn't speak. There was nothing to say. He had been a leader. He knew what it was to lose men in battle. So he just soothed, purred, held Alex until he was ready to continue.

"I...I wanted that _monster_ to answer for their deaths. I hunted for him, but I was never able to find him. What I wound up with instead was an extensive knowledge of the Lasat. It was a unique knowledge base within the Imperial military, a distinct edge. It was... _why_ I was assigned to the colonel who led the ground forces on Lasan," he admitted, looking up at Zeb with regret and apology and self-hatred in his eyes. For a moment, he tried to pull away from Zeb.

He had no right at all to even _dare_ to ask for comfort from his love during this part of the telling.

But Zeb, the beautiful, stubborn fool that he was, refused to relinquish his hold. He kept Alex pressed firmly against his chest. Whether or not he deserved this kind of understanding, perhaps something in _both_ of them knew that if he had to face this confession alone, something inside of him would simply shake apart. So, setting aside the long empty glasses on the bedside table, Zeb crooned easily to him as he laid them both down on the bed.

" _La san torril._ "

 _I'm here._

"It wasn't long after Onderon," he began again, as he'd tried to back on Alluvium. "Half a standard year, at best. Several Wookiees had escaped the action on Kashyyyk, fleeing to Lasan. I didn't know anything about the subjugation at the time. I was told only that these Wookiees had been attempting to rebel against the order the Empire was attempting to create. We were told to extract them by any means necessary, to serve as an example." This was ridiculous. He didn't need to tell the _Captain of the kriffing High Honor Guard_ _ **why**_ Lasan had been attacked. He'd been there. He knew. Perhaps it was just for his own stupid sake. To be able to get the whole story out...

Zeb didn't point this out, though. He simply helped him continue with, "But Lasan wasn't about to turn over sworn allies just because the Empire said so. The Wookiees were our brothers. Even if it meant our own destruction, we were gonna fight for the ones who remained free."

"I didn't understand that sort of devotion in those days," he said softly, running several fingers through Zeb's fur. "Every time I'd seen an inkling of it, it was either destroyed or twisted. I was so sure that with the proper application of power, Lasan would see reason...would fall in line with what the Empire was trying to accomplish. But I _see_ now...what a fool I was...and what the Empire was _truly_ trying to accomplish," he whispered, his grip on Zeb tightening briefly.

"There's nothin' wrong- with wantin' to believe you're fightin' for a good cause," Zeb said. "What else could you let yourself think?"

"Something... _anything_ ," he returned in the same eerie, soft voice. "Maybe even stopping to ask _one question_ might have resulted in a different outcome?"

"Hey, no," Zeb reminded him forcefully, drawing his face back to his to look him directly in the eye. "We've had this conversation. You _weren't_ the only one there that day."

Alex laughed humorlessly _,_ drawing a hand up to his face before continuing. "You're right, of course, but it certainly doesn't help that it was largely _my_ task to help break your front lines. I commanded a company of stormtroopers that day and we'd been making little headway. That was the reason- the ion disruptors were even considered. Weapons Development had granted Colonel Masaada a small shipment of them. I didn't know at the time that they hadn't been properly field tested, and a hot battlefield is no place to be testing experimental technology, but that- that's no excuse," he scolded himself, fingers fumbling clumsily past Zeb, thinking maybe to reach for the brandy again.

But Zeb caught that hand before he could reach much further, drawing it back between them as he shook his head. "You've had enough of that, mate. Don't go there. Just talk to me."

"About what? The innocent people I _murdered?_ " he snarled into the Lasat's hold, struggling to master his breathing. This wasn't even guilt over Zeb's people. It was guilt over _murder_ – murder of civilians, guilt he'd carried with him a long time before he'd even _known_ Zeb. It was a guilt he'd only been able to keep at bay because he'd kept trying to tell himself he was fighting for a better galaxy.

With how closely entwined they were, he could feel the tremor that passed through the former guardsman's body. Was this it? The moment Zeb decided he couldn't take anymore? That some things were just unforgivable?

What he received instead was a single simple plea.

"Tell me."

"W-what?" he asked in shock, blinking up at the Lasat.

"You've never told this to anyone...not really. You've been carryin' it around with you all this time. I can see it...and I know you're a believer. It's not your fault that belief was turned in the wrong direction. Your not knowin' also wasn't really your fault. This is eatin' you alive...so let it out. Let it go. If you don't get it out, it's gonna kill you. Trust me. I know. So _tell me,_ " Zeb urged him, a look that was some mix of heartbreak, understanding, and worry swirling in his luminous eyes.

For a long moment, all he could manage to do was stare at the Lasat, looking at him with more love and sympathy than he could earn in twenty lifetimes.

"How _can_ you?" he finally hissed, eyes falling to Zeb's chest. "How can you know what I've done, look right at me, and tell me it'll be all right? How could you _ever-_ "

Zeb silenced him with a chaste kiss to his forehead, the absolution in the gesture completely unmaking every last word in his throat.

"I've been there, Alex. I know what it's like to carry all those ugly feelings around, and if I've learned anything from my family these last couple years, it's that _nothing_ is past hope. Nothing's beyond savin'. So you say what you gotta say, and you'll start findin' out just how true that is," he said softly as he pulled Alex in closer, arms wrapped around him as he ran a hand up and down his back.

Feeling the clenching of his heart that told him just how close to tears he was, Alex took a minute to just breathe. He wasn't sure he'd be able to stop them if the tears did come, but maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing. So, cradled in Zeb's arms and with his head resting easily against his chest, he finally continued.

"We were told not to use those disruptors unless we had no other choice. I hadn't truly intended to, even though they were given to _my_ company. We were such a small force. There was no way we _should've_ been able to take Lasan. I- thinking about it now...I have to wonder if, maybe, that was the point – that Lasan should be their _field test_. Perhaps the Empire sent such a small force to enforce its will _because_ we were meant to have no other choice...no other choice but to _use_ those weapons," he said, feeling his throat tighten as his fingers dug a little more harshly into Zeb's fur _._ The Lasat didn't speak up at all, so Alex was left to confess to his greatest sin.

"I blew away a street- that day," he said in a stilted voice. "I and a small squad had been cut off from the main force. My men were either dead or injured. I'd been searching for a way back when I fell into combat with a guardsman. I'd lost my own blaster and I had nothing but the disruptor. So I used what I had. I'd meant to only kill my opponent, but...the disruptor's destructive output was so great, it- it destroyed an entire city street," he confessed, feeling the hot tears begin to spill down his face. "I don't- know how many I killed in that moment...so many people...so much confusion...and they were all just _gone_...nothing more than ash. I remember- s-seeing a _child_ c-caught in the blast...a little girl. I s-saw the fear in her eyes. I saw her _burn_. She was someone's- p-precious Lia...and I _killed her._ That child...I can still hear her screaming."

He was sobbing openly now, the tears pouring freely down his face, soaking Zeb's chest as he cried. He didn't think he'd ever cried so hard in his life, not even when Ash Warrior had been revealed to him. It seemed he was weeping now for all the times in his life he hadn't dared to. And throughout it all, Zeb said nothing. He just held him tightly, letting him cry, letting him purge himself of everything, all while stroking his back and dropping little kisses on the top of his head.

Alex wasn't certain how long he lay silent after he'd cried all his tears, but it was a strangely comforting silence. One in which he and Zeb just lay together, learning this new, quiet intimacy that connected them. When the former Imperial finally spoke again, it was in a much easier tone.

"I didn't use the disruptor after that first time. I couldn't. Perhaps...if I'd rescinded permission for my troops to use them...it might've-"

"Don't do that to yourself," Zeb scolded him in a heavy voice. "Don't go down that road. It didn't take much more than one volley anyway. It was nearly over...with just one sweep of those things," he recounted with a pained shudder.

"I know you are right, but the 'what-ifs' will never not be at the back of my mind," he returned softly, nuzzling his face into the Lasat's neck.

"And that's how it _should_ be. But...maybe it won't tear at you quite as bad as it did?" he suggested in a hopeful voice.

"Perhaps not. Someone _did_ see something in me that day that he deemed worthwhile, after all," Alex recounted with a distant smile. Even though that particular encounter had ended with his opponent's death, it had still been a worthy end, unlike everything else that had occurred that day. "Even if it was mostly over by that point... _he_ still fought well...allowed _me_ to fight well, too...before everything just _stopped_."

"The bombs," Zeb said, his own voice weighed down by memory.

"Yes. Nearly took out a chunk of our own forces for our trouble, it was so poorly coordinated. Even the colonel was blinded in that last explosion."

"What? That one wasn't your bad tactics?" Zeb tried to joke.

"No. That was handled by another of Masaada's regiments. And...of course...this brings us back to how this all ties in to Project Ash Warrior," he said as he slowly sat up, pulling himself out of Zeb's hold. Zeb wasn't far behind, sitting up beside him. "I knew then- that we had the task of collecting a ten percent genetic sampling of the population. At the time, I assumed it was only for research purposes...the sort of data the scientists all loved to pour over...and I assumed it was only blood work."

"But it wasn't, was it," Zeb said just as slowly.

Alex shook his head, gaze falling to his hands, lying useless in his lap. "Children. Children were taken from Lasan that day. Some adults, but mostly children. You know, of course, that the Empire uses Wookiees as slave labor."

"Yeah," Zeb said with an irate grumble.

"Mostly it's because of their physical prowess, but it's also because Wookiees lack the necessary vocal processes to speak Basic. A lack of understanding can always be blamed for any situation that might arise. Wookiees can be easily silenced because most people cannot or _will not_ understand them. That isn't the case with the Lasat. They would not have been so easily silenced. They needed to be either brought to hand or..."

"Destroyed," Zeb finished when he couldn't bring himself to. "And no Lasat would bow to the Emperor, so they destroyed us."

"That's just it. They _didn't._ Not everyone," Alex found himself struggling to explain.

Zeb glanced at him out of the corner of his eye for a long moment before asking, "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Imperial scientists had studied the Lasat. It appears- the Emperor did not want to lose the potential of the Lasat people to serve as...commandos or body guards or some such. _That_ is why children were taken that day," he said all in a rush, words near bleeding together in his haste to get them out. He was afraid that if he didn't say all of it now, he never would again, and something more in him would die – give over to the horror of what he had done to these people, to these _children._

"You...you mean they're..."

"That's what the secret facility on Manaan is being used for," he admitted, pulling even further away from Zeb. "The kidnapped children were taken there sixteen years ago. With the handful of adults they imprisoned, they've been using them to train and- and _breed_ their own generation of Lasat warriors," he told him, feeling like speaking these words aloud might actually cause him to throw up.

He heard the sound of Zeb's claws unsheathing, heard and felt it as they tore through the bedding they sat on. The Lasat wasn't looking at him, not really, but the look on his face still pierced the former Imperial to the heart. It was a look of shock, of angered horror, and it left Alex feeling as if he'd shot his lover himself.

 _How could I have ever been a part of this?_

" _Savè tulchuurri,_ " he snarled unthinkingly in his own language, a phrase Alex wasn't yet familiar with. His massive shoulders trembled with rage as he spoke. "They destroy our home...and they think they can just do whatever they want with us?! _Orra!_ " he snapped as he got to his feet, beginning to pace the room like an animal in a cage. "Alex, we can't let this go on. We have to _do something._ "

At first, all the agent could manage to do was blink up at him in mild shock. "We?"

"Yes. You're _with us_ , aren't you?"

"I- of course. I just..." he trailed off as he looked down at the torn bit of bedding. He couldn't deny that part of him had feared that Zeb wouldn't be able to do anything but lump him in with the rest of the Empire, and he certainly wouldn't have blamed him if he had. But Zeb easily understood the look of painful guilt in his eyes when he looked at him. Almost immediately, he began to calm.

"You thought I'd blame you for this."

At first, he couldn't speak. All he managed to do was nod, fingers briefly fisting in the rumpled blanket.

"Alex..."

"You wouldn't have been _wrong_ to," he insisted around the strange tangle of relief and sorrow in his throat. "I would've understood. I cannot-"

Whatever he would've said was suddenly interrupted by Zeb flinging his arms around him, gathering him easily in his embrace and cradling him securely against his chest.

"Get the kriff over yourself, Kallus," he murmured in his ear with a pained, teasing laugh. "I don't think of you with them anymore. That's done with. You're doin' right. Like I said before, nothin' you say is gonna turn me from you. I l-"

Alex silenced the Lasat with a kiss, holding him there for several moments before releasing him.

"Thank you," he whispered against the Lasat's lips. "I acknowledge that- that _you_ forgive me what I've done...but that does not erase my crimes. _Nothing_ can do that. All I can do is try to do better. So we are _absolutely_ going to bring this project down. I just...I don't know that we'll be able to save _everyone_."

"You never can," Zeb told him. "Sometimes...all you can do is save just one person, and that's gonna have to be enough...until the day when you _can_ save more. We're gonna do what we can...what we _have to_."

"Right. You're right. Of course you are," Alex returned, briefly nuzzling up against the Lasat's neck. "Must let go of that Imperial thinking. Maybe all things really _are_ possible in the Rebellion."

"Just might be," Zeb said, his latest laugh a little bit warmer. "Though...there is a nice bit of irony in the name the Empire chose for its top secret project that was meant to enslave the Lasat people."

"How so?"

"I know what ash is in Basic. I know what it means to a human. It's all that's left when somethin's burned down...it's ruin. But it means somethin' different in Lasana."

"Does it? I don't know that one yet. What does it mean?"

"In Lasana, the word _ash_ means 'light'. I don't think there's any way the Empire knows that."

The delayed laugh Alex gave in response to that was stilted, but still with an underlying warmth and joy.

"So a soldier of ash and ruin becomes a warrior of light and freedom?" he pondered as he wiped a few stray tears from his eyes. "Yes. I would say that sounds about right."

XxX

Having served as a captain in the Grand Army of the Republic, Rex was not unused to unexpected things happening. As such, he would've said his curiosity was only mildly peaked when he noticed Wedge Antilles storming away from Chopper Base's impromptu launch field in a huff.

"Exercises not going well?" he asked as the young pilot moved past him.

"Oh, the _exercise_ was going fine," Wedge snapped at him. "It was when our new Mandalorian friend freaked out on me that things started going south."

"Freaked out?"

The young man was starting to mutter something about crazy Mandalorian girls when he was interrupted by a sharp reprimand from a certain Twi'lek pilot. Both of them looked up to see Hera striding toward them from the direction of the field.

"Wedge, I told you to take a walk. So keep walking. _All_ the way back."

Wedge seemed fit to argue, but clearly thought better of it when the older pilot raised a pointed eyebrow at him, her instructions clearly not up for debate. Finally, the young defector offered up a stiff salute.

"Yes, Ma'am," he said before turning and heading back into the base.

"What happened?" Rex asked her once the boy was out of earshot.

"Zelina's experience with fighters is limited, so I wanted to know what sort of skills she has. Even if she's mostly going to be medical ward, it's important for her to have certain skill sets. Wedge, Saplar, Hobbie, and I were running a few flight drills with her and she got in a lucky shot on Wedge. He wasn't expecting it, so he slipped into some sort of Academy TIE tactic."

"And that freaked the kid out?" he asked, glancing off toward the field.

"Well, apart from looking completely ridiculous in an X-wing, which certainly would've been enough to freak _me_ out, I guess Zelina recognized the move from somewhere. _That_ was when she panicked. Lost it and started firing on him. She could've done actual damage if Saplar hadn't talked her down. A cockpit's a really bad place for a breakdown. You want to talk to our new Mandalorian while I handle the wannabe ace?"

Rex thought about it a moment before nodding. Typically, this would be more Kanan's arena, but with him, Sabine, and Ezra off on Krownest, it looked like it was falling to him. "Sure. Where'd she get to?"

Hera offered him a relieved smile. "Thank you. Looked to me like she was heading for the zone three checkpoint."

"Right," he said before heading off. It wasn't as if the girl could go far from there; not unless she wanted to run into an angry nest of krykna. And indeed, he found Zelina pacing anxiously along the sensor boundary, as if she were actually debating taking the risk.

"Look, I'm sorry! Okay?" she called over her shoulder when she heard him approaching. "I don't know what happened. Maybe you should just send me back to Kafrene. I'll do less damage there. Or at least do damage to the people who actually deserve it."

"No way, kid. We're not in the habit of turnin' out folks with no place else to go. I wouldn't exactly consider Kafrene a place to go back to."

The moment Zelina heard his voice, she whipped around with a look of hopeful shock on her face. But almost immediately, she seemed to remember that he was not Trek and her features crumpled in misery. Turning back to face the wasteland, she dropped to a sitting pose on the hard ground, drawing her knees up to her chest.

"I'm sorry," she whispered in a high voice when he came to sit beside her. "You just- you sound _so much_ like him-"

"No, I sound _exactly_ like him," he reminded her. "We were both cloned from the same man. I don't imagine it's gonna get any easier for you to grieve for him with me around, so I'm sorry for that."

"That's not your fault," she said with a shake of her head. "It's just...he was my family, you know? It would've been so easy for him to just ditch me somewhere- after my parents were killed. But he didn't. He let me stay with him...even though it was dangerous...even though we were always on the run. I wouldn't have traded my time with him for anything in the galaxy."

"You'll have to tell me the story sometime," he invited. "I've got plenty of my own war stories about Trek. Hells, but I could tell you a thing or two about his days as a shiny," he reminisced with a sad smile. Not just Trek. All of them. All of his brothers...so many...

"Maybe...someday I'll be able to hear them," she returned, slowly looking over at him. "I'd like to hear about him when he was younger."

"So," he continued on without much preamble, not really sure of any tactful way to approach the subject, "you maybe wanna tell me about what happened with Wedge?"

Zelina winced before looking out to the wasteland once more. "I...that move Antilles used...I've seen it before."

"Have you?" the clone pressed, though he tried to keep his voice at a more conversational level.

She nodded. "I saw it- used by a TIE pilot...on the night my parents died."

"Oh," he started in with a slow nod. "I see. I see."

"I- logically, I know it's impossible for Antilles to be that pilot. His early training's not his fault," she struggled to explain as she swiped a few loose hairs out of her face. "That and- Trek killed the soldier who killed them. They've been avenged. I just- I saw that roll and- and the way he pulled out of it for that undersweep and I just...it was like I was right back there...and I was going to have to watch my parents die all over again. I lost it," she hissed, burying her face in her knees, pulling in on herself tightly enough to avoid expressing the emotions that were so clearly tormenting her.

"I understand," he said gently, reaching out to rest a hand on her shoulder, gripping firmly to reassure her of his presence.

"I couldn't- do _anything,_ " she whimpered in misery, her shoulders trembling as she drew in a ragged breath. "I couldn't do anything to save my parents...or to save Trek. I just...I reacted," she said as she looked up. There were no tears on her face, but her eyes were red with the effort of not releasing them. "I couldn't just do nothing."

"It's okay," Rex soothed her, rubbing a thumb into the rough fabric of the flight suit she was still wearing. "I get it. I've had to watch people I care about die often enough _._ If _anybody_ gets that, it's this band of roughnecks. I can't imagine Wedge'll hold it against you. Just take some time to talk to him. Heh, he might even show you some of the tricks he's learned since getting clear of the Empire. The point is, Zelina, we're not gonna ditch you. This isn't the Empire and it isn't the crime syndicates. We look out for our own, and you're one of us now."

When the young Mandalorian looked back at him, her eyes were bright with unshed tears. Only three of them managed to escape before she was flinging her arms around him.

Rex tensed briefly in the girl's desperate embrace. Even now, he wasn't used to all the random displays of physical affection. The regimented strictness of his earliest military training was still difficult to shake. But he didn't shake Zelina off. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close, giving her the comfort she needed. He noted the silent tears she let fall as they soaked his undershirt, but he didn't comment on them. He just let her be, let it _all_ be. He couldn't say how long it was before they finally separated and he helped her back to her feet.

"Come on, kid. Let's get you back in your own gear, yeah?" he said, offering her his hand for the walk back.

"Right," she said with a tiny smile. "I'd like that."

XxX

Even though Alex was confident they'd allowed enough time for his tail to get offworld, the pair still didn't risk leaving Moon Dust together. Zeb left first, with a solid twenty minutes between his departure and Alex's. The agent followed carefully, making absolutely certain he wasn't being followed before venturing even one step in the direction of the _Phantom II_.

Chopper was taking care of some sort of diagnostic on the shuttle's hull when he approached their docking bay. The droid gave several medium-toned beeps before rocking side to side on his treads.

"Well, would you rather I had been impatient and accidentally brought unwanted guests with me?" he fired back at the little astromech.

Chopper gave an exaggerated swing of his left manipulator before issuing what, for a droid, could only be described as a suggestive whistle.

Alex immediately felt his cheeks burn at the droid's less than veiled insinuation. "Not really, if you _must_ know. Perhaps there's more important work to be done just now."

The droid spun his dome _very_ slowly to emphasize the protracted stream of warbling that composed his next statement.

The former Imperial whipped his head properly in the astromech's direction in shock, some part of his mind very much aware that Hera _allowed_ that sort of programming. "And that is officially more information about Kanan Jarrus than I wanted or needed."

"Better get inside then," Zeb said when he stuck his head out of the shuttle. "He won't stop."

Chopper gave one last pleased whistle before Alex made his way inside the small craft. He was greeted by the sight of Arkalia climbing all over the headrest of one of the pilot's seats.

"O- oh, my," he started with a small laugh. When the baby Lasat heard his voice, she looked up. Immediately, a look of pure joy lit her small face and she began squealing excitedly. "Hello to you, too."

Almost before he knew it, the kit had launched herself into the air, nearly giving him a heart attack in the process. He didn't even have to think about jumping forward to catch her. He was just in motion, arms stretching out to catch her small body before she could hit the floor of the shuttle. Before his heart even had a chance to start beating again, he found himself with an armful of squirming, giggling kit.

"Crazy loth kitten," he scolded her as he cradled her tightly against his chest. "You scared me."

"I told you, didn't I? Climbin' maniac," Zeb said with an amused grin as he leaned casually against the shuttle wall.

"How a Lasat parent stands it, I have no idea," he returned, kissing the top of the kit's head with a loud smacking sound and drawing even more laughter from her.

"Well, grown Lasat are _also_ climbin' maniacs, so it mostly evens out," he said with a smiled shrug.

Alex turned fully toward him with a raised eyebrow. "You know, somehow I don't see _you_ climbing these chairs."

The Lasat's smile shifted into more of a predatory smirk. "Oh, I'll _show_ you just how well I climb. Just you wait."

"Behave, Captain," he scolded, shivering mildly at the look. "There are impressionable ears present." He knew they probably both regretted not being able to do... _more_ during their encounter, but what they _had_ done had very much been necessary and Alex knew he felt better for it.

"Heh, right. I probably got somethin' you'll _both_ enjoy hearin' though," Zeb said as he pulled something from his utility belt – what looked to be a small recording device. "Ketsu finally got back to us with a Basic translation of that lullaby."

"Oh?" Alex started in curiosity as he moved back toward the former guardsman. "Let's hear it then."

Zeb nodded once before activating the little device. Immediately, Ketsu Onyo's voice was sounding from it.

"Okay, Sabine, I'm gonna preface this by saying that I really can't sing. So you're just going to have to judge my work based on the actual words and not on the way they sound, because _no_ , I did not just record a dying moof."

The singing that issued from the device was hesitant at first, perhaps a little out of tune and rough, but nowhere near as bad as its owner had claimed it would be. The song she sang was still gentle, still a sweet love song to life and to joy.

 _Under the snow_

 _Beneath the frozen streams_

 _There is life_

 _You have to know_

 _When nature sleeps she dreams_

 _There is life_

 _And the colder the winter_

 _The warmer the spring_

 _The deeper the sorrow_

 _The more our hearts sing_

 _Even when you can't see it_

 _Inside everything_

 _There is life_

 _After the rain_

 _The sun will reappear_

 _There is life_

 _After the pain_

 _The joy will still be here_

 _There is life_

 _For it's out of the darkness_

 _That we learn to see_

 _And out of the silence that_

 _Songs come to be_

 _And all that we dream of_

 _Awaits patiently_

 _There is life_

 _There is life_

Alex sighed as the song came to an end. He couldn't help but notice that Arkalia had become a little less hyperactive while listening to it.

"That was beautiful," he said in a quiet voice as he combed his fingers through Arkalia's purple hair. It had gotten long enough to be tied behind her head. "How was the translation, do you think?"

"She did good. It came out real nice."

"Then I'll have to learn them both. She seems to enjoy this song particularly."

"Yeah. Maybe _you_ should record it for her?" Zeb suggested, smiling as he tickled the kit under the chin. "It'd be nice if she had you singin' to her."

"I...I think I'd like that," he said, his voice still quiet as he watched her reach out with one foot to grab at Zeb's wrist.

"Ah la la! Maab!" she trilled in excitement when she finally got ahold of the much larger Lasat, her tiny toes curling awkwardly around his wrist. Alex nearly found himself gasping at the precious sight. Really, was there nothing these two couldn't make perfectly adorable?

"Heh, I wish I could get a capture of the pair of you right now. Any image would do, really."

"What do you mean?" Zeb asked, disentangling himself from Arkalia's grip and looking up at him.

"I...well...I was forced to wipe Sabine's files from the datapad I'd stored them on. Konstantine might've seen them otherwise. Don't worry. He didn't see anything," he reassured the Lasat. "I made sure of that."

"And you're...still safe where you are?" Zeb pressed him, reaching forward to stroke at a strand of loose blond hair. "They're not onto you?"

"Don't worry," he said with a small grin. "They won't catch me."

"Much as I wanna call you on bein' cocky, I am definitely holdin' you to that one," Zeb told him before heading up to the cockpit, beginning to rummage through one of the compartments.

"Well...it's not as if you'll be able to say you told me so if they _do_ catch me," he said with a small shrug, and almost immediately Zeb was glaring back at him.

"Yeah, gonna put a stop to that line of thinkin' right now. If _I_ don't get to joke about it, _you_ don't get to either. Besides, I got somethin' better for us to do," he said, emerging with a datapad. As he keyed his way into it, he sat down against one of the shuttle walls, nodding that Alex ought to join him. So he sat down next to him, watching in rapt attention as the device projected a holo of Chopper with Arkalia draped all over his dome, mouth wide open in a joyous laugh.

A stream of holos followed from the first one, each one carefully showing only the interior of the _Ghost_ or of a base, but never giving away a planetary location. There were images of Arkalia climbing up a smiling Kanan, of Ezra picking her up with the Force, of Sabine painting with her – there had apparently been a point when the kit had somehow managed to get half her face covered in green paint – images of the little kit with other rebels, every last one of them smiling as they played with her. There was even an image of Sato, smiling uncertainly as the baby Lasat latched herself onto his boot. There were images of Hera going about maintenance checks on the _Ghost_ with the sleeping kit secured in a carrier on her back, and holos of Rex napping with the baby girl. There was even an image or two of Rau with the little one, not in any way sure what to make of her.

And of course there was Zeb. Zeb and Lia. Images of him feeding her with a tender smile on his face, play-batting at her tiny paws with his own large fingers, her climbing all over him while he playfully grabbed for her, her chewing on his ear while Hera laughingly pulled her from her perch on his head. Despite the fact that this was all taking place on a hidden military base in the middle of a cold war, it was all beautifully domestic, and as had happened with all the previous times he'd looked through his own collection of holos, Alex found himself remarkably soothed by it all – soothed by the images of the little family and soothed by the easy weight of Arkalia in his arms and Zeb's warm, solid presence at his side. With this gentle comfort he was so used to doing without, it didn't take him long to drift into a peaceful doze, waking only once when he vaguely felt Zeb shifting him to lie down somewhere. So, with Arkalia still in his arms and Zeb's arms around him, he fell into a deep sleep, not waking until several hours later.

When Alex did wake from his sleep, it was to the sight of the morning sun shining through the _Phantom II's_ forward viewport. Had he...really slept through the night?

Shifting about a bit, he found himself laid out on a pallet of some kind in the shuttle's crew cabin. Arkalia was still cradled against his chest, but Zeb was nowhere to be seen. The first sign of movement he had was Chopper rolling over from a small charging station.

"Good morning, Chopper," he said, being careful not to wake Arkalia as he gathered her in his arms to properly sit up. "Where's Zeb got to?"

The astromech gave a cranky whir at the question, tapping at his dome with a manipulator. But then he gave a more conceding string of beeps before venturing over to one of the shuttle's supply compartments.

"But...what would he be looking for?" Alex wondered, only partly to the droid. Chopper's response was cut off when Arkalia woke with a distressed screech, her tiny claws biting painfully into his arm.

The agent's only response was a small grunt of pain. Almost immediately, he drew the baby girl up to rest against his chest, gently rubbing her back.

"Oh, there now. What's wrong, Lia?"

As if on cue, Chopper rolled up with a prepared bottle, passing it off to him with a warble and a chirp.

"Thank you, Chopper," he acknowledged the droid before offering the bottle to Arkalia. She latched on immediately, gripping the bottle in both hands, even managing to get a foot around the end of it. Alex laughed at the intent look on her face as she fed. "There now. Isn't that better?"

Arkalia was very deep into the bottle by the time Zeb returned, some sort of pastie held in one hand while he finished off another.

"Mornin'," he greeted as he came up to them, dropping a kiss on Arkalia's head before shifting up to place a gentle peck on Alex's lips. "Sleep well?"

"Very well, surprisingly."

"Here. Let me take her. You need to eat," the Lasat said, holding out his arms for Arkalia while offering Alex the pastie.

He didn't protest, easily making the switch off and watching Zeb finish off the feeding session while he took a bite of his breakfast.

He would admit to having a bit of a moment with that first bite. The pastie crust was light and perfectly flaky, while the filling was savory and rich, that first swallow sending a pleasant warmth straight to the core of him. He didn't fully recognize the flavor profile of the spices that had been used, but the meat was definitely bantha.

Zeb chuckled quietly as he watched him eat. "Not seen much real food since Alluvium, then?"

"None at all, actually. Thank you," he said between bites. "A Star Destroyer's not exactly the living end as far as cuisine goes."

"Right," he said, taking a moment to clean any milk from the kit's face before just letting her latch onto him without any aid from a carrier. "No wonder all you Imps are always so grumpy."

"Of course. So what was it you were looking for? It can't have just been food. Chopper said you'd gone to do a little shopping."

"I did, yeah. Found what I was lookin' for, too," he said, going to retrieve his datapad whilst pulling something from the pouch that had previously been occupied by Ketsu's recording.

The new device was a small silver sphere, featureless save for a tiny access port, and it was situated as a pendant on a slender silver chain. While Alex watched, Zeb connected the little thing to his datapad, facilitating some sort of data transfer.

"What is that?"

"Took some doin' to find this. It's a recorder pendant. I thought you could use one. It'd be less suspicious for you to keep private holos on somethin' like this. Less likely to be searched. You could keep it with you always," Zeb explained as the file collection transferred.

Alex honestly didn't know what to say to that at first. All he could seem to do was stand there dumbfounded as the Lasat set everything up. It was such a little thing, insignificant in the grand spinning of the galaxy, but to him it was _everything_. It was the light he needed to see him through. And really, their entire relationship had been like that – little things, little moments, little gestures. A light, a willing ear, a hand – tiny little things that were so inconsequential to the rest of the galaxy, but had undone and remade _his_ galaxy.

 _This Lasat...this_ _ **fool Lasat**_ _..._

"Thank you," he whispered as Zeb came to place the pendant around his neck. He honestly could've cried when Arkalia reached out a paw to bat at the shiny little thing, but instead he laughed as he tucked his treasure beneath his shirt, already comforted by the cool weight of it against his chest.

They spent the rest of their day planning the breakout of the Manaan facility, backup plans, contingencies, and several different scenarios, all while Arkalia crawled and climbed around the interior of the shuttle, playing with Chopper, who would occasionally put in his salty two credits over the whole situation.

"Do you think Command will go for this?" Alex asked Zeb by the time they'd reached a stopping point.

"I'll put everything by Kanan and Hera first. Sato'll listen to Hera. Even if nobody goes for it, _I'm_ gonna be with you. We're doin' this, no matter what Command says. We can't let this chance go," Zeb insisted, but then his expression went somewhat disquiet when he watched Alex lift a sleepy Arkalia from Chopper's dome. "Though...with...hopefully, with all those Lasat with us, we'll be able to make the run for our safe place. The way'll be openin' up soon."

"The thought had occurred to me, yes," the former Imperial returned quietly as he rocked the worn out kit, his expression torn as he gazed down at her. "She will finally be safe."

"I...I'll be sure to bring her to you...before we make the run," Zeb said, awkwardly scratching the back of his head when Alex looked up at him. He looked like he wanted to say more, but couldn't quite decide on what to say. Alex just nodded in response.

"Yes. Thank you," he said before nuzzling Arkalia's small head and dropping a kiss on the top. "Farewell, my lady. Sleep tight. I'll be seeing you at least once more," he said, and reluctant though he was to let her go, he settled her back on Chopper's dome, where she yawned once before drifting off to sleep.

He and Zeb then headed to the shuttle's exit ramp hand in hand, sharing a small kiss on the threshold before he headed out.

"Do..." he started softly against the Lasat's lips, "do you think maybe we could meet back up at Moon Dust before we head off? I'd like at least one drink with you that's _not_ under false pretenses."

"Wouldn't be for very long, but I'm game."

"All right. See you in half an hour."

If Alex's internal clock was still any good, it was exactly twenty-nine minutes later that Zeb bellied up to the bar beside him.

"Mm, fancy seeing you here," he said with a grin as he glanced sideways at the Lasat. "What are we drinking tonight?" he asked, subtly informing his partner they were in the clear on his end.

"Little lighter this time around, I think," he answered, the cue that told Alex they were free and clear to do what they wanted. "Karabast, but you are a tough one to keep up with. Shaddaa starfire," he ordered when he caught the bartender's eye – a human woman this time.

Alex gave an easy laugh at that one. "Really? Isn't that basically water to your stomach?"

"Basically," Zeb agreed as he eyed the Chandrilan liqueur Alex was nursing. "But maybe I'd like a bit more of a clear head tonight. What about you? That seems a bit on the light side."

"Oh, I've an incurable sweet tooth, you'll find," he said, raising his glass to Zeb as the Lasat's acid green drink arrived, the foam still faintly sparking.

"Gonna have to keep that in mind," Zeb said, clinking his glass against Alex's before taking a long drink.

Alex wasn't completely certain what he was going to say next, but the words were suddenly lost when he heard the opening notes of the song the Twi'lek singer at the far end of the bar was starting up on.

It had been a long time since he'd heard the song – back before Lasan, before Onderon, even, when he'd gone into a different bar on Malastare with his unit during their leave. Anasch had liked it, and Tenar had joked that it ought to be her and Kuron's song. And Alita Kuron, in her typical defiant fashion, had led the younger woman onto the floor for a dance.

"You awake in there?" he suddenly became aware of Zeb's voice.

"I- yes," he responded, shaking himself out of the reverie of the two young women dancing. "I just...it's been so long since I've heard this song."

"Heh, half-surprised you know an Outer Rim tune like this. What is that? Jedhan?" the Lasat asked of the language.

"It is. I first heard it in a bar not so different from this one...with my unit," he said, voice going distant yet again.

"Oh," Zeb said softly, easily taking his meaning. "So...d'you know any of the words?"

"As a matter of fact, I do. Or at least I've seen enough Basic translations to have a good idea. Other than that, my Jedhan is only passable."

"So what's he singin' about then?"

Alex didn't sing the verses he'd learned. That would've interrupted the song a little too rudely for his tastes. Instead he spoke them quietly, giving voice to the beautiful lyrics he'd heard so long ago.

 _Floating beyond time_

 _There's a city made of wind_

 _Please, dear, take me there_

 _Where dreams draped in white flowers_

 _Come true_

 _Holding anxious hands_

 _Calm me with a kiss and then_

 _Please, dear, guide me there_

 _Where love that was forgotten_

 _Can bloom_

 _And, darling, in the afternoon_

 _We'll sleep in the sun_

 _And wake to a time when_

 _The hunting is done_

 _And then when I see you_

 _I'll know in my heart what I've won_

 _And, darling, in the afternoon_

 _We'll sleep in the sun_

 _And wake to a time when_

 _The hunting is done_

 _And then when I see you_

 _I'll know in my heart what I've won_

 _Please, dear, take me there_

When Alex returned to Moon Dust, the image of Alita and Klaidi still dancing behind his eyes, he looked over to find Zeb gazing at him with an odd, fond smile on his face.

"That's real nice."

"It- well- the lyrics aren't perfect, but...that captures the meaning well enough," he said, feeling his cheeks starting to redden. "Two of the girls, it- it was their song. They used to dance to it."

"About life after a war," Zeb said in a contemplative voice. "Think you'd ever...be able to dance to it yourself?"

"Oh, I've never been much of a dancer," he said as he leaned into his partner, letting him know that he took both his meanings as they swayed slightly to the music. "But I'd be willing to try...with you."

Zeb sighed in contentment as they leaned still further into each other, listening to the song and sipping their drinks. When their comforting, companionable silence was suddenly interrupted, it was through Zeb's gently whispered Lasana.

" _Ni Tinsana._ "

"You- said that before. What does it mean?" Alex asked as he glanced up at the former guardsman.

"The _Tinsahn Keeraw_. It's the Way of the Bond," Zeb began to explain in a much more serious tone. "Among my people it's the name of those who are bound together. Sometimes that means in friendship or brotherhood. Sometimes it even means sworn enemies. A lot of the time, it's- two lovers...a bond of love. Whatever else it is...it's two souls that have been bound together by fate...to whatever end. You and me...we've been bound together from the start. I think I knew that...even then...but I didn't say it to myself for a long time. _Tinsana_ is...bondmate."

"Zeb..."

" _La rokir rrazehan. An san ni Tinsana,_ " he said solemnly.

 _I know your name. You are my Bondmate._

"It doesn't have to mean anythin' more than you want it to. I know what it means to me. What it means to you is your own decision," the Lasat said as he draped an arm around his shoulders, holding him close, but not uncomfortably so.

He _was_ sure of his feelings for Garazeb Orrelios. What he really needed was time to figure out if this new concept was _enough_ to encompass what he felt.

"I thought I'd made my feelings on the matter quite plain," he said, offering his partner a small sideways smile. "I love you, Captain."

Zeb's response began with a light chuckle. "Yeah, I know. And seein' as how I'm still technically forbidden to say it, I'll have to try another approach. _L'ashkerrir an_ ," he said, pressing a kiss to the agent's ear.

Alex laughed, even as he felt tears of joy beginning to prick behind his eyes. He knew enough Lasana to know the meaning of _those_ words. "I'm quite certain that's cheating."

"Maybe, but I don't really care," Zeb said with a shrug. "I couldn't let you go back without you knowin'. Not this time."

Neither of them said anything for a long while after. They just held onto each other, each nursing their drink very slowly. Because they both knew what would happen when those drinks were gone.

XxX

It was strange for Ezra not to have Sabine around.

Granted, there had been plenty of times one went on a mission without the other. It wasn't as if they were never apart, but all the times before, the separation had been with the understanding that they'd be seeing each other back at the _Ghost_. But now, with her staying behind on Krownest, not knowing when he'd see her again...

Not that he wasn't happy for her. It was awesome that she was getting to reconcile with her family and help spark rebellion among the Mandalorians. But...still...he missed her.

And he must've already been losing his mind from it if he was actually taking Kanan up on his suggestion of meditation to get his head on straight.

His master had even steered him to what they still referred to as his room. Though, honestly, he wasn't sure why any of them were continuing to pretend that the knight still slept alone. Either way, it was less distracting to work in Kanan's fairly nondescript room. Unfortunately, all he could seem to do was think about Sabine, and that led him to the other absent members of the little family – Zeb and Arkalia. Even Kallus, for crying out loud!

Thoughts of Arkalia were amusing enough, though. The sound of her laughter, of her high-pitched squeals of excitement, of the way she would kick her tiny but strong Lasat feet, the way she would try to coo along with them when any of them sang to her. It was so easy to think of her, in fact, that he wasn't even all that surprised to feel the tiny pat of her paws suddenly clinging to him as she scampered up his back.

"Hey!" he jibed in amusement. "Just what do you think you're doing in here?"

He tried to turn and retrieve the naughty little kit, but when he actually looked behind him, he found no one there.

"I...wha-"

And when he turned back, he found his location had somehow changed.

Instead of sitting in Kanan's old room, he found himself in a circular chamber, its walls consisting largely of floor to ceiling windows. The last light of day was shining through those windows, and from what he could see of the world beyond them, the room seemed to be located in a building that rose above a massive city – a city that had no end from what he could see.

The only thing to be seen in the chamber itself was a ring of seats, all of different shapes and sizes.

"What...what is this?" he asked aloud as he rose from the seat he'd been sitting in, not really sure who he'd been expecting an answer from.

A vision?

Hearing a small laugh, he looked to the center of the room to see Arkalia there, rolling around on the floor and chewing on a stuffed loth cat.

"Ari?"

For a moment, she looked up at him, smiling. Then she rolled onto all fours and began to crawl away.

"Hey! Hold on," he protested, feeling a smile start to turn up the corners of his own mouth as he moved to follow her. But then he started to notice other things in the chamber. Not actual living beings, just...shapes...shadows...phantom impressions on the air. One moment, he'd almost swear he could see a little kid peaking out from behind one of the chairs, but then he'd actually turn to look and the image would twist into vapor and fade away.

"Ari?" he tried to call out again, gaze flicking nervously around the space as the daylight vanished. "I don't think we should be here."

His words were met by the sound of heavily mechanized breathing.

 _Oh, no._

When he looked to the doorway that led from the chamber, it was to see the shadowy masked figure from his nightmares. The figure he now knew had a name.

Vader.

Anakin Skywalker.

"You are correct in that, young one," the Sith lord said. "This is where Jedi _bratlings_ come to die."

Then his lightsaber shrieked to life in a burst of red light and he was moving forward. Not toward Ezra...but Arkalia.

" _NO!_ " Ezra shouted, reacting without thought. Almost before he was aware of it, he had his own lightsaber in hand and he was standing over the little girl, his blade locked with Vader's in an effort to keep him from killing her.

"You are the same, Ezra Bridger. You and the girl," the Sith taunted him in a strangely even voice. "The Empire has decreed your deaths, and it _will_ have what it is due."

"So what do you expect us to do? Just lay down and die?" Ezra challenged, feeling his arms shake with the effort of maintaining the stalemate. No matter how frightened he was, no matter how little chance he had against this _creature_ , he couldn't just stand aside. He couldn't run away.

"I expect you to know your place, and you, child, are _no Jedi!_ " the Sith lord snarled as he raised a hand, bringing the Force to bear on Ezra.

The next moment he was flying through the air. The last thing he saw before crashing through a window was Vader raising his lightsaber over the baby Lasat.

" _ARI!_ " he screamed as he plummeted through the air, falling toward the city below. But instead of impacting against metal and glass, he found himself landing heavily on dusty ground. Shooting upright, his gaze darted around for Arkalia.

"Ari?" he called out in worry, searching, but his gaze fell on someone else instead.

Wedge and Zelina.

As the sun rose, lighting up the landscape, he realized they were on Atollon. What was happening? Was he back? Was this still some sort of vision?

"Don't worry about it," Wedge said, leaning against the rock the younger girl was sitting on top of. "We all screw up sometimes."

"Still...screwing up in the field gets people killed. That's what Trek used to say. I want to do better."

"Wedge?" Ezra tried to call out, but the second he raised his hand toward them, the daylight twisted around him, curling in on itself until he was standing on the bridge of a ship, just a few meters away from Sabine. The first thing he noticed was that her hair was cut much shorter than he'd ever seen it, and it was dyed a solid, vibrant purple color. More than this, though, he was concerned by the tears he saw pouring down her face.

"I will _kill you,_ Ezra! I might actually karking kill you this time," she sobbed, scrubbing futilely at her face with one hand.

"Sabine..." he started, hand still outstretched from where he'd been reaching out to Wedge. But before he could determine if she could actually see him, the scene transformed again.

The blackness of space rushed in through the bridge's view ports, coalescing into some sort of dimly lit office. And instead of Sabine standing there, it was Kallus, bo-rifle extended, but not yet ignited. Ezra couldn't see the source, but his face was lit by some kind of strange blue-green light.

"I don't want to fight," Kallus said in a low voice, though he was clearly ready to.

"That's unfortunate," an unfamiliar female voice answered from behind Ezra, but just as he was turning to see who had spoken, he found himself staring down one of Lothal's thoroughfares instead. It was dark, but he could still clearly see the speeder bearing down on him – the speeder piloted by his master.

" _Kanan!_ " he shouted just when the knight was about to crash right into him. Kanan brought the speeder up short at the last possible moment, the force of the sharp move throwing him clear of the vehicle and sending him rolling several meters.

Ezra's first instinct was to go and help him, but then he got a good look at the way Kanan was almost _shaking_ as he got back to his feet.

"Where are you?" the Jedi demanded, something harsh and heavy in his voice.

"Kanan?" he couldn't quite help whispering, even though he understood by now that none of the other visions had been able to see him. None except Vader.

"I don't have time for this!" Kanan ground out as he stalked back to the speeder. "If you wanna help, _fine_. Otherwise, stay out of my way."

 _What's wrong?_

It had been a while since he'd heard his master so bent out of shape. Since before Malachor, even. And even though he understood that Kanan couldn't see or sense him from whatever distance in time this was, he still couldn't help trying to reach out one last time as the knight turned slowly back in his direction.

"Kanan!" he called out, even as the world changed around him once again – changed into a much noisier, violent setting.

He could see Kallus, standing in the doorway of some sort of hangar bay, battered and bloody, clearly favoring one leg over the other as he made a valiant effort to remain upright. Even though he looked like death warmed over, he still somehow managed a small smile.

"I know what I'm doing," he said, his voice soft despite the blare of alarms overhead. "This is the only way."

"Alex, don't do this," Zeb's voice sounded from somewhere behind him, but before he could turn to the Lasat, a distant volley of blaster fire interrupted them.

Kallus flinched mildly at the sound, but he still smiled for Zeb, and even though Ezra couldn't understand his next words, he _could_ understand the look in the former Imperial's eyes when he spoke them.

"Garazeb... _La rokir rrazehan. An san ni Tinsana._ Go, my love."

Then a door was slamming shut between them and Zeb was screaming. Again, Ezra tried to turn to him, but then the visions disappeared altogether and he was falling again.

High above him, he could see faces, some familiar and some not. Each figure reached out a hand to him, trying to grab hold, but they were always just out of reach.

"Ezra!" Kanan cried out.

"Ezra!" a Jedi master with intricately braided brown hair called his name.

"Ezra!" his parents shouted.

"Ezra!" a boy with dark blond hair and blue eyes called out to him.

"Ezra!" Master Kenobi shouted down to him.

"Ezra!" a girl with brown hair and wide brown eyes called out.

" _Ezra!_ " Sabine screamed.

"Ezra!" a Cathar girl with vivid green eyes cried.

"Ezra!" Ahsoka called to him.

"Ezra!" a much younger girl with long black hair and blue eyes cried out.

"Ezra!" a young boy with short green hair called out for him.

EZRA.

"Ezra?"

The last was different – a question. Not a cry.

Feeling a hand finally grab his, he looked up to see...well...himself.

At least, he was pretty sure that was who it was. He was older and had more scars, but the young Jedi found it easy to recognize the eyes that always looked back at him from the mirror.

The figure had a light dusting of facial hair and his hair was much longer than Ezra's was right now. In fact, it was pulled back in a style that reminded him a lot of...Kanan.

"It's all right," his older self said to him, offering him a smile that had only the slightest tinge of pain in it. "Everything's- going to be all right."

"But...what's going to happen?" he tried to ask.

His future self just smirked down at him before releasing him. There were a few wild moments in which Ezra thought he was just going to keep falling forever, but it took only those few moments to fall back into Kanan's room.

Upon snapping out of the vision, he jolted up off the meditation couch with a sharp cry, barely managing to keep his feet. His gaze darted around the room as he drew in several ragged breaths.

"What- just happened?"

"Ezra?" Kanan's concerned voice sounded at the closed door before it slid open, admitting the knight. "What happened? I felt...you were freaking out over something."

"I just...I had a vision," he finally managed to answer, looking toward his master.

"Don't suppose I should bother asking if it was bad or not," Kanan said, crossing his arms over his chest.

Ezra sighed, running a hand through his short hair. "Not so much. No."

"Tell me," Kanan invited, indicating that Ezra should sit back down while he seated himself in front of the couch, prepared to listen.

"I...well...some of it I couldn't really explain," he started as he settled himself back on the small couch. "I saw places I've never seen before...people I've never met."

"Well, you can always start from the beginning and see what you _can_ work out."

"Right," Ezra said distantly, nodding out of habit. "The first part of it was...Ari and me. We were in this round room, and it looked like it was high above a city."

Kanan tensed slightly on hearing his description. "Did this room have floor to ceiling glass windows? And twelve seats?"

"I didn't- count the seats or anything, but yes. That was what it looked like. Have you seen it before?"

Kanan nodded. "I have. That's the council chamber in the Jedi Temple back on Coruscant. It was where the High Council met to decide matters for the Order. At one time, my own master sat on the Council."

"I...I got this really bad feeling about it. Like we shouldn't have been there...and...that was when Vader showed up."

"You fought Vader?" Kanan asked him.

"Yeah. He was going to kill us. He talked about- how we were the same...how the Empire wanted us dead," he recounted, shaking at the memory of the Sith lord's pointed hate.

"Well...he wasn't wrong. You being a Jedi student and Ari being a Lasat."

"Right. I tried to protect her, but he just- tossed me out of the tower...and I was falling...and I started seeing other things."

"What things?"

"I saw Wedge and Zelina. I don't know what they were talking about, but they were here on Atollon. I saw Sabine...and she was- crying," he said with a small wince. "I'm not sure why. I saw Kallus a few times. Once when he was about to fight someone and again when...actually, I'm not- really sure. I think he was about to do something Zeb didn't want him to do."

"Yeah. I get the feeling that's gonna happen a lot with those two," Kanan said, sighing as he shook his head. "I've seen Kallus in a lot of my own visions but, to be fair...he has a lot to do with the future of the rebellion right now."

"It was just- so much I didn't understand. I feel like when I've had visions in the past, I've had a better handle on them. Like I understood where they were trying to lead me."

"And then you've turned out to be wrong each time, haven't you," Kanan pointed out. "It's not in any way black and white, this whole vision business. I've been dealing with it a lot myself recently. My advice to you is to consider what each vision actually tells you about the person or event you're seeing. Don't think about it in terms of what you _want_ to see, but what's actually present. You might just find better answers that way."

"Kanan," he continued uncertainly, knowing he wasn't going to reveal that he'd seen _him_ in his visions, but wanting to talk about at least one more of them, "I think...I think I saw myself in one of the visions. Like it was me in the future."

"And what were you doing in that vision?" Kanan asked him.

"I'd been falling. I fell so far, and a lot of people tried to catch me, but they couldn't. In the end... _I_ caught me. And that me...all he told me was that everything was going to be all right. Why would I need to say that?" he asked his master.

Kanan thought about it for only a moment before responding with, "Well...doesn't that seem like something you'd do?"

"Huh?"

"If you could reach back to yourself in the past and you only had a limited amount of time to speak, what would you tell yourself? What would the you from right now tell that little street rat from Lothal who was still sitting in Kallus' brig after getting mixed up in a heist?"

"I guess...I'd tell him it was all gonna work out," he responded with a faint smile after thinking about it for several moments.

"Exactly. So I'd say it's safe to assume that, whatever it is that's coming your way, your future self wanted you to know that you'll get through it."

Ezra gave a quiet laugh at that one. "Yeah. I guess you're right."

"So," Kanan started as he got back to his feet, "think maybe you could give not dwelling on it a try for the time being?"

"I think I probably could," he said, cracking a smile as he joined his master in standing. "I'm gonna go find Zelina and the others. I haven't talked to 'em much yet."

XxX

(A/N) Heh, well, not one, but two songs in this chapter. As ye may have noticed, 'There Is Life' gives the story its title, and I'd been wanting to work it in somehow. Though I've been thinking some truly crazy thoughts recently and maaaaaybe attempting to create a Lasana version of the song.

www. youtube watch?v=h2RfENYD3ac

The second song is properly called 'Kaze no Machi E', and while it of course has its English version, I'm gonna link you to the original Japanese version first, as the English version's a little harder to track down.

www. youtube watch?v=aaiPomwPzwE

The version I did manage to find is within the song's original context, so it's got a bit of scene surrounding it but here you are.

www. youtube watch?v=Q7qKV737Jas

Join us next time, dear readers, for next time...next time we go to Manaan. See you there.


	11. Storm Clouds May Gather and Stars

(A/N) Hoookay, so sorry this one took a little longer. In fairness, though, this chapter's honestly been difficult to write. A lot of this is some pretty messed up stuff. If you're too bothered by the notion of sentient beings being treated like breeding stock, I certainly wouldn't fault you for skipping over some of the dicier parts. Consider yourself suitably warned. I don't know that I can say I hope you enjoy this, more that I hope I continue to tell a good story that holds your interest.

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 11: Storm Clouds May Gather and Stars May Collide_

Thinking on it, Zeb found himself realizing he'd maybe gotten a little too used to letting Hera and Kanan do the talking.

Somewhere along the way, he'd forgotten his ability to command. After his failure on Lasan and his aimless drifting through the galaxy, he'd come to a point where he was merely existing. He fought for the cause, of course, unleashed his own raw strength in whatever direction it was aimed, but he'd forgotten how to shape that strength. Without perspective, he'd lost his own stake in the fight, lost everything but the drive to destroy as many Imperials as he could.

That stake had started to make itself known again with Lira San, and had really shaken itself awake when he'd realized what could be between him and Kallus. When Arkalia had come into their care, he'd truly been feeling like he had something worth fighting for again. Kal's new mission was the latest in that line of reawakenings. He was ready and willing to lay down his life to free even one more Lasat – to do what he hadn't been able to that day sixteen years ago. As such, he was not going to let _anything_ stop him.

Not even the uncertain side eye Sato was currently giving him.

"I still don't like this, Captain Orrelios. Up until now, our raids have remained in the Outer Rim territories. Mid Rim at the worst. But to risk venturing to the _Inner_ Rim? It is trouble we have not known. Even for the chance of liberating captives, this may not be worth the risk in the end."

"Not worth the risk for a functionally extinct species. Is that what you're sayin'?" Zeb couldn't quite help challenging.

"Not worth the risk for our _entire cell_ is what I am saying," the commander said, meeting his gaze full on.

"We're not risking anyone but Spectre Cell," Kanan argued.

"Which is risk enough as it is," Sato pointed out. "We are not a large enough force to go bandying ourselves about without thought or cause. After all, Captain, what good will you be to your people if you are dead?"

"I _was_ dead once," Zeb started in a low voice, feeling the thrum of it deep in his chest as he tried to explain himself to the human. "As good as dead, at least. I had nobody left who cared what happened to me. Far as I knew, I was the last living Lasat in the whole galaxy. So I made a _damn_ fine prize for the slavers that got me."

"Zeb..." Hera's quiet voice came into the silence that followed that sentence when Zeb hadn't immediately been able to continue. Her tone said he didn't have to finish if he didn't want to, but he knew he would. He _had_ to. He owed it to his people, to his fallen brothers of the Guard, to Kanan and Hera – to _himself._

"That would'a been the end of me...dyin' in some circus or arena...or a mine...or _worse_. Except for two stupid do-gooders who couldn't leave well enough alone," he said, throwing small, grateful smiles to the two younger rebels who stood on either side of him. Though Kanan's expression was mostly concealed, his lips turned upward in an answering small smile, while Hera's smile was her usual warm, encouraging look. When he turned back to Sato, it was with a look that was less angry and more determined. "So yeah, this might be a bit on the fool side, but I've still gotta do it. It's not even about them bein' my people. It's because I've _been there._ I know exactly what this is like. If we don't do it, no one else will. It's just more and more people enslaved to the Empire, and that only makes our fight harder. I _know_ nobody wants that. So let's just... _do_ this," he ground out with a frustrated shrug. "Because we _have_ to. Because it's _right_."

Sato surveyed him for a long moment, and in that time, Zeb had no idea if he'd swayed the human or not. But when the commander gave a sigh and allowed his shoulders to slump in acceptance, Zeb breathed his own sigh of relief.

"I _really_ do not like it, but I suppose I don't _have_ to like it for it to need doing. The plan is well-conceived. And you are certain there is a safe place to transport these refugees after the fact?"

"Positive," Zeb said. "Same place- same place Kali's goin'."

"Then I will sanction this mission, so long as you are all aware of the time constraints it may place for the attack on Lothal," he finished, looking around at all of them.

"Understood," Hera said.

"Of course," Kanan agreed.

Ezra was the longest in responding, but he ultimately nodded, offering Zeb a pained grin. "Like you said. If we don't do it, no one else will."

"Thanks, Ezra, for- understandin'," Zeb said to his bunkmate. "I owe you one."

"Pretty sure we decided we weren't keeping score anymore," the young Jedi said with a small laugh, coming to him to give him a teasing punch on the shoulder.

"Yeah, but some things you just owe," he told the kid with a returned ruffle of his short hair. It was a habit he couldn't quite kick, despite the many months that had elapsed since he'd taken up the hairstyle.

"I'll keep that in mind," Ezra ribbed right back.

"Careful, Zeb," Kanan warned with a small grin of his own. "You know what you're getting yourself into with that one?"

"I'll take my chances," Zeb returned, smiling at all of them again. He'd known they would all have his back. Now all that remained was to break into a secret Imperial facility and liberate a small army of young Lasat.

There was only a small chance of success, but really, when was there not? He couldn't save his people. Not really. That notion was a distant dream; but he could at least save _someone._

XxX

"Zelina!" Wedge called out as he moved along the base's perimeter, searching for the young Mandalorian. Honestly, it was starting to seem to him that their youngest recruit had a bit of a passion for flirting with the dangers along the barrier. Still, if he couldn't find her-

"Wedge?" an oddly gentle voice sounded from directly overhead, startling him. When his gaze shot up to the cluster of boulders he'd been passing, it was to see Zelina's dark head poking over the top of them, no rhyme or reason to the haphazard collection of braids that festooned her head. When she saw him, she offered up a lopsided smile. "Sorry. Did I scare you?"

The pilot exhaled loudly, scrubbing a hand through his hair rather than admit to the charge of having been scared. "You need to keep your comlink on like a normal person. Tera was worried about you. Hera's also been looking for you."

"Oh," she started, reaching to her belt to check the blinking comlink. Then she sighed in a frustrated tone that was more in line with his impression of her thus far. "It is on. I guess I just- didn't notice."

"Come out here to meditate or something?" he asked, tilting his head to the side as he looked up at her.

She shrugged, sitting back down on the boulder. "Something like that. It was a habit Trek picked up from his general and my dad and I started doing it, too. I never- apologized to you...did I," she started up again, using that same oddly gentle tone he wasn't completely used to from her.

"Don't worry about it," he said as he leaned against the boulder. "We all screw up sometimes."

"Still...screwing up in the field gets people killed. That's what Trek used to say. I want to do better."

"It's okay. You're still grieving. It's not your fault," he said, his mind vaguely skating along the surface of some of his own griefs before he could turn away from them. "I- probably overreacted a bit myself. I wasn't expecting to deal with anything out of the ordinary that day. I think I've been getting into too much of a routine since Sabine busted us out of Skystrike. You...get used to it, I guess. The Empire's psycho as all get out, but they do keep things orderly."

Zelina gave a small chuckle at that one. "Guess we'll have to get you running on scum and villainy time, then."

Wedge joined in with a laugh of his own. "If you're gonna do that for me, I can probably help you do better in a cockpit. I know I might've left a bad impression on you, but I'm actually a halfway decent pilot."

That one drew more of a wry laugh from the girl, the glint in her dark eyes letting him know that her next words weren't serious. "Sure, if reverting to Imperial tactics is what you call good piloting."

"You never know. Maybe I'd been trying to lull you into a false sense of superiority."

"I'll believe that when I see it," she said before straight up _rolling_ off the boulder, coming to land in front of Wedge while he stared at her with wide eyes, more than a little impressed by the move. He didn't realize she'd asked him something until she started waving a hand in front of his face.

"I- sorry. What?"

"Wow, are you awake in there? I was asking what Hera wanted."

"Just to let you know the Manaan mission's a go. They're gonna be taking off in another hour here. You volunteered?"

"Uh-huh. Who knows what it is, but bounty hunting outfits always look a little more legit when they have at least one Mandalorian in them. Since Sabine is off leading our people out of darkness, that leaves me. I may not be the best Mandalorian, but I guess you make do," she said with another shrug.

"Best Mandalorian?" he repeated in confusion.

"Yeah, long story," she said, waving a hand dismissively.

"Zel! Hey, Zel! You out here?" Ezra's voice suddenly came from around the tumble of rock Wedge himself had come from not too long before. The Jedi student himself appeared not too long after. "Oh, hey guys."

"How'd _you_ find her so quick?" Wedge asked, only a little insulted.

"Oh, y'know. Jedi," he answered with a shrugged grin, but when he opened his eyes and actually took a moment to glance between the two of them, his gaze became a little more questioning. Whatever that question might have been, though, Ezra seemed to answer it for himself when his puzzled expression shifted into a broad smile.

"No fair."

"Can't help you there, Wedge old pal. Did he tell you what's up?" he asked the younger girl.

"Yeah."

"Let's get going then. I'm not sure we're even gonna get the full hour on this one."

The hike back to the landing field was quick, made with light-hearted, joking banter among the three young rebels. By the time they arrived, Hobbie and the twins had already helped Zeb finish loading the _Ghost_. Hera offered the trio a stern smile when she came down the loading ramp.

"Ezra, Zelina, I hope you two are ready to go, because we launch-"

"Yesterday. Yeah, got it, Hera," Ezra finished.

"Sorry to spring this on you last minute," Hera continued, turning her attention to Wedge.

"Oh, no, I completely get it. You know I'm always down for busting people out of the Empire."

"Think you can keep the drills going like normal? We need to be in top form for Lothal, so I'm counting on you," she told him.

"We'll be ready," he promised her. "You all just be sure to come back alive. Sabine'll kill me if she comes back and finds you guys dead."

"Mm, there are probably worse ways to die," Zelina said with a snicker.

"Yeah, and Sabine Wren could probably come up with about seventy percent of 'em," Ezra put in.

"Hera Syndulla," a new but vaguely familiar voice suddenly cut into the conversation, "I _know_ you weren't about to make a move against Zaniva BioTech without inviting me along."

The small group looked toward the base to see a young woman heading onto the landing field. Wedge had seen Jidu Ailytè only a handful of times before, and the most recent was before her last infiltration run. Her looks had changed considerably since then. She'd gotten thinner, for one. But despite the fact that she already wasn't very tall and there was physically less of her, it didn't make the rebel spy's presence any less commanding. Her long black hair had been shorn off, prominently displaying the Black Sun emblem now tattooed on the right side of her head. The last time he'd seen her, both her almond eyes had been the same deep brown, but now that only applied to the left eye. The right was the distinct swirl of violet and ruby that marked her as having at least some Allurian blood.

"Oh," he started in surprise as he took in the heterochromia. For a moment, she quirked a slanted smile in his direction.

"Something interesting, Wedge?" she asked him.

"Your eyes...that's what they really look like?"

"They're called lenses, Antilles," she said with a chuckle. "Two different colored eyes is a bit _too_ distinct a feature for a spy."

"Perhaps I thought you'd like a bit of a breather," Hera reprimanded mildly. "You did just get in, and I know how hard the Saleucami run was on you. This isn't going to be easy."

"Nothing ever is," she returned, shaking her head. "But I want in on this one. Zaniva was _mine_. I would very much _love_ to spit in their eye."

"Well, if a Mandalorian's legitimate, Black Sun's got to be even more so," Zelina pointed out, smiling at the other rebel. "Y'know, so much as bounty hunting actually _is_ legit."

Jidu turned her attention to the young Mandalorian with a pleased smile. "I like this one, Hera. Who is she?"

"Zelina Arsane," the young medic introduced herself. "I've only been here a few weeks. You can call me Zel, though, if it's easier."

"Good to know you, Zel. Guess we'll find out if we can work together."

Hera rolled her eyes as she shook her head. "An extra pair of hands certainly can't hurt."

"Awesome. We getting this moveable feast underway then?"

"Haha, just waiting on you, Ji," Hobbie said with a laugh as he and the Syrens exited the _Ghost_. "Glad you're back."

"For now," the Jedhan said, offering Wedge's fellow pilot a light punch. "Guess we'll have to catch up _next_ time I get back."

Wedge wasn't sure when it had happened, but Hobbie had somehow become fast friends with Jidu in their earliest weeks on Atollon. And while _he_ still found the older woman a little intimidating, Hobbie had somehow risen to the rank of drinking buddy, almost without him noticing.

"And we have even more new faces," Jidu said when she noticed the twins. "Jidu Ailytè. Who are you?"

"Terachor Shylene," the elder twin introduced herself, holding still for a moment, waiting for her sister to continue.

The younger Syren remained silent, though, staring at Jidu. Wedge wasn't particularly adept at reading Syren expressions yet, despite the distinctly human element of their faces. If he had to guess, though, he might say that the way the tiny, delicate feathers that framed her face fluffed outward was...almost like a blush. And Jidu's answering look of interest seemed to confirm that for him.

"I'm- Tsirhara," she finally made herself answer. "Tsirhara Shylene. We have heard your name. It is a pleasure to meet you," she said, clearly regretting her own word choice, as her feathers fluffed out even further.

In response, Jidu reached out to take the Syren's hand, and with the look in her eyes, Wedge half-expected her to kiss that hand. But what she did instead was lower her forehead to rest against the back of the hand, bowing low before the Syren woman in what was likely a gesture from Hara's own people.

"The _pleasure_ , Tsirhara, is mine."

"Thanks, Jidu," Wedge said as he rolled his eyes. "There'll be no flying with her now."

The young spy offered Hara a somewhat less chaste look as she pulled back from her. "Sorry, but I don't think I _am_ sorry."

"Typical Ji," Hera sighed. "But you can flirt when we get back. We're on a schedule right now."

"I'll consider that a promise," Jidu said, not breaking eye contact with the Syren, simply shifting to move backwards onto the _Ghost_.

"You know, I don't think I've even seen Kanan Jarrus turn on the charm that quickly," Hera said with a small shake of her head.

"Wait. _Kanan_ was a flirt?" Ezra asked her, expression at the tipping point between wanting to know more and the outright shock of realizing that your parents did, in fact, have sex.

"That...is _definitely_ not a story for young ears," Hera reprimanded, shaking herself out of some kind of reverie. "So young ears should be getting aboard ship right about now. Go on. Scoot," she said to Ezra and Zelina, waving them toward the freighter. They both waved to the gaggle of pilots as they boarded.

"I'm not- totally sure what just happened," Wedge admitted.

"Trust me," Hera started with a shake of her head, "with enough time, you'll learn to just go with it."

"That's a relief," Tera said, nodding. "If you'll excuse me, I need to get a bucket of water to dump on my sister's head."

"Don't waste too much. Those H2O scrubbers are overworked as it is," was all the Twi'lek had to say before boarding her ship, leaving the two boys to glance in slight confusion between it and the Syren woman currently dragging her sister from the landing field.

XxX

 _The first thing he becomes aware of is that he can't move._

 _The taste of ash and blast residue is heavy on his tongue, tinged with the unsettling copper tang of blood. His first instinct is to call out, but he immediately resists. There might still be hostiles in the area. But- what about the others? Are they all right? What's happening?_

 _His breath catches in his throat when he hears a scream echo through the trees, quickly dying away into a hideous gurgling sound. Hera! That was_ _ **Hera!**_

 _He struggles to turn his head toward the sound, but he can barely even manage that. He thinks he knows what he will see, coming through the smoke and the fire, but he's wrong._

 _So horribly wrong._

 _The eyes are red, the figure blue, clothed in that eerily impeccable grand admiral's white._

 _The first figure the Chiss stops at is barely recognizable, face mangled and bathed in blood. It's more a mercy when the Chiss shoots him through the head._

 _ **Kanan.**_

 _The Chiss continues on, calmly and silently, to the next of the downed Spectres. Alex can see the blood-stained orange jacket that signifies it's Ezra. When he tries to move, to raise a hand to summon the Force, the grand admiral raises a single booted foot and slams it down on his chest, pinning him to the dirt._

 _A single shot finishes off the youngest member of Spectre Cell._

 _He wants to reach out, to help...something..._ _ **anything!**_ _But it's more than being unable to move. It's almost as if he has no body to command_ – _as if he's nothing more than a naked mind gazing on this moment, unable to alter its course in any way._

 _The Chiss continues his unperturbed trek through the flames toward his next victim. When he comes upon the next Spectre, she's too injured to try to escape. Sabine raises the only hand she has left, pleading._

 _But the Imperial is not moved. His expression is blank as he sends several rounds of superheated plasma through the girl's chest._

 _"Kallus?" Zeb's voice suddenly comes to him from he knows not where, shaken and whispering, but still alive._

 _ **Zeb?**_ _he thinks more than says, but is somehow heard._

 _"Alex...Kal," the Lasat starts in a tone that speaks of depthless grief, of an anguish that has worn his weary spirit down to the faintest of sparks. "You...you're dead...aren't you."_

 _ **Yes,**_ _he returns, beginning to understand the why of it all. He can't move because there really is no body. He can't speak because there is no breath. He is dead. But really, that doesn't frighten him as much as it should. All he knows is sorrow_ – _a horrible, aching sadness that he has to tell Zeb he will never see him again._ _ **I...I'm so sorry...my love...**_

 _"_ _ **He**_ _killed you."_

 _ **Yes.**_

 _"I have a shot, Alex," he growls, something in his voice going cold, dying even as he listens to him speak. "I'm takin' it."_

 _ **Zeb...don't...ni ashkerra. Just go. Get out of here!**_

 _"No," he says, voice soft but more certain than he's ever heard it. "He killed you. I_ _ **can't**_ _...just walk away."_

 _ **Zeb...I am**_ _ **sorry**_ _ **...that I couldn't stop this...but getting your**_ _ **self**_ _**killed is**_ _ **not**_ _**going to bring me back.**_ _ **Please**_ _**don't do this!**_

 _"I love you," he whispers at the last._

 _ **Zeb,**_ _ **NO!**_

 _But there's nothing he can do to stop him stepping out from his cover and firing on the Chiss. He's badly injured, unlikely to have escaped, but that doesn't make it any easier to watch him go down._

 _The grand admiral takes a hit, but it's ultimately Zeb who ends up on his knees with a single plasma burn through his chest, trembling and struggling for breath as he defiantly looks his killer in the eye. The Chiss sneers as he takes aim at him._

 _"There was never any chance that you could have won. Not_ _ **truly**_ _," the Chiss says in his eternally even voice._

 _"Just go to hell..._ _ **monster,**_ _" Zeb snarls._

 _Giving a final annoyed huff, Thrawn takes the last shot, but then he looks up, past Alex's dead lover, straight at him with those glowing red eyes, even though he_ _ **knows**_ _he doesn't exist anymore._

 _"There is no future this way, Agent Kallus. Only death. Either your own...or_ _ **theirs,**_ _" the Chiss says with absolute certainty. "You cannot escape it. You will bring them despair. All you can do is destroy."_

Kallus' tortured scream carried him into the waking world this time. He knew where he was, but he still couldn't help the several frantic minutes he took to rake his fingers over his own body, confirming its reality – that he was, in fact, not dead.

Once he'd managed to assuage the wild terror of the nightmare, he was left sitting on the small bunk breathing hard, trying to get his trembling under control.

They weren't all that different from his quarters aboard the _Lawbringer_ , these quarters he'd been given for his stay in the Zaniva facility. The small refresher station opposite the bunk was nearly identical to the one he was used to. Faintly, he thought of applying the usual tactic of splashing some water on his face, but was soon dissuaded from the idea when he glanced out the viewport of his room. Instead of a field of stars and void, he was staring at a seeming endless depth of dark blue-green water. He was literally surrounded by water. The notion of splashing it against his face seemed almost silly.

Though the reason for it sickened him, a small part of him was relieved for the quality sound-proofing used in the facility's construction. A scream like that wouldn't have been contained by the walls of a Star Destroyer. He would've drawn attention.

But then, that was the reason for it, wasn't it, he thought bitterly. Were it not for the excellent sound-proofing, the scientists and other personnel would have to listen to the sound of screaming almost constantly.

He had spent the last few days touring the facility with Masaada, learning its ins and outs, getting the colonel up to speed on what it was the rebels were supposedly planning, and how it was he was planning to trap them. It was an intricately woven web, with trap and counter trap all planned out. It was a plot his younger self would have been extremely proud of. Now, though? Now, more and more, he just found himself wishing for it to all be over. He was more than just disgusted over what he'd seen done in this terrible place. He was heartsick – heartsick over what the Empire had done to the Lasat, over how they were justifying their crimes, here and throughout the galaxy, as a means of keeping order. How had he ever let himself be taken in by any of it?

How much longer could he keep this up?

 _As long as you_ _ **have**_ _to,_ he scolded himself as he finally rose from the bunk to dress for the day. Giving in now would be weakness, and he was not _allowed_ to be weak.

Not now.

The Spectres would be arriving any day now. Hopefully today or tomorrow. It was better he didn't have the exact date, since it would then appear more that he'd only been able to intercept partial intelligence. And much though he was looking forward to Zeb's arrival, to making an end to this abomination, he also _wasn't_ looking forward to Zeb having to witness this. He knew how it would break his lover's heart. It broke his own heart a little more to strap his bo-rifle to his back. He could both see and feel how the older generation of prisoners looked on him with hate in their eyes. He knew what he must seem to them, and there was no way he could risk revealing the sigil Zeb had carved for him. There wasn't an inch of this place that wasn't under surveillance. Part of him would've preferred to forgo the weapon altogether, but it was part of the performance now – part of the identity he presented to his former colleagues.

One of the Butchers of Lasan.

It was why the nightmares were returning in such full force, he had little doubt. They'd eased their grip on his sleep in the time since Nar Shaddaa, but ever since he'd come to Manaan, they had been getting bad again. If he were honest, he would have to say he probably wasn't going to get any proper rest in this place. It certainly didn't help that he constantly had Kanan's warning to watch himself at the back of his mind. The Jedi had foreseen something happening to him here. If the situation weren't already stressful enough, there was that on top of it all.

 _Soon, Zeb,_ he clung to the thought as he headed out into the compound, steeling himself for yet another cycle. _This will all be over soon._

XxX

The first step in this insane plan of theirs had been to change out the _Ghost_ for a less recognizable freighter. She was definitely high up on the Imperial Most Wanted list and they just couldn't risk taking her so near to the core. Once transferred to the ancient light freighter that Ezra would neither confirm nor deny may have been procured by Hondo, Hera set them on a course for the Inner Rim before the small force reconvened in the ship's common area.

They were all already decked out in well-concealing bounty hunter gear, prepared to play the part of seedy hunters looking to make a quick payday. Chopper's new coat of paint was much rougher than usual with Sabine not around to handle it, but that thankfully fit with the look they were going for, not the typical Imperial disguise.

"All right," Hera began, looking around at all of them. "Since we have some late additions to the crew, along with some who've just plain never worked with us before, we should probably take the opportunity to go over everything in depth. Ji, are you up to speed on Project Ash Warrior?"

"Yeah. Wish I could say it shocks me, but I couldn't begin to name the despicable things Zaniva's a part of. And that's just what I uncovered in my time there. This is a whole new level of nasty."

"Too right," Zeb growled, the only one of them not dressed in bounty hunter gear. His typical battle suit had been exchanged for a rough-spun laborer's tunic.

"Which is why we're going to bust this operation wide open. Zaniva's compound is located deep beneath Manaan's ocean," Hera began to explain as she pulled up a holo-map of the area. "But of course they couldn't put themselves completely out of reach of the only proper above water city on the planet, so it's not too far from Ahto City. Kanan, Ezra, and Jidu will be making the actual journey to the compound in order to make the exchange," she said, clearly trying to shake away the bad taste in her mouth at having to refer to a member of her own family in such a way. "Once Zeb's on the inside, he'll be able to make contact with his people."

"Kallus hasn't been able to do that?" Jidu asked, raising an eyebrow.

"He's onsite by now, but pretty much every inch of this place is bristling with surveillance tech of some kind. We'd all hoped he might get a chance to, but he hasn't been able to risk it so far. All he can do right now is maintain his cover. But he has been able to get us information on numbers and the types of conditioning the subjects have been undergoing. It gives us a better idea of how many ships we'll need to steal."

"Stealing ships?" the young spy started in interest. "Definitely haven't heard this part of the plan."

"We'll come to it. Once you all have made the exchange for Zeb, the plan is for you to return to the surface with the transport. Ezra and Kanan will be remaining behind to set up a distraction."

"The Sabine kind of distraction, I hope?"

Hera laughed quietly as she rolled her eyes. "Getting a bit ahead of yourself there. We're starting off small here. Fouling up the air system a bit maybe. The point is they'll need to call in a technician from the surface to bring in some new parts. That's where _you'll_ come in handy."

"Imperial technician extraordinaire," Jidu said with flair, making a motion of tossing hair she no longer had. "I can do that."

"Good, 'cuz this is where things start getting complicated. Another goal here is to let Kallus capture us. If we get away clean, it's all going to look particularly bad on his end."

"Almost like he'd set the whole thing up or something," Ezra put in with a chuckle.

"Unfortunately, yes. We can't afford to lose Fulcrum now, so he still needs to be where he is. That's why he's going to catch you in an act of sabotage. I trust to your improvisational skills, but you'll have to give up either Ezra or Kanan, just to make it look convincing."

"I don't think I'd have any trouble turning the brat over to the Imps," Jidu teased, beginning to tousle with Ezra.

"Oh, no! _Treachery!_ " Ezra started in mock alarm, blocking the older rebel's playful punches.

"You've had it coming, Ezra. I still haven't paid you back for that time in the canyon."

"Well, you had _that_ coming. In my defense, that was mostly Chop's plan."

"Another time, maybe?" Zeb suggested with a growl, though there was still a small spark of amusement in his eyes.

"Right," Hera continued immediately. "Whoever remains free will finish triggering the distraction. A proper emergency will set off a silent alarm that summons an emergency evacuation craft from Ahto City."

"They don't keep those onsite?" Zelina asked, a small look of shock starting up in her eyes.

"They keep one emergency vehicle onsite for their own people," Kanan explained. "But they didn't want to leave a transport just lying around that the Lasat could use to escape. In a truly desperate situation...do you really think the Empire would care if they lived or died?"

The young Mandalorian sighed, her gaze dropping to the floor. "No."

"Either way, things are going to unravel quickly once the evacuation's been set in motion. While this is all happening, Rex, Zelina, Chop, and I will have been working on getting those extra ships. Kallus has left us some intel on which docks will likely be easiest to break into, so that shouldn't be _too_ difficult. We'll need at least three more transports in order to get all of the prisoners offworld. Think we can handle it?" Hera asked the old captain.

"Trust me, Hera, that'll be the boring part of the job," he said with a nod and a smirk.

"Heh, if _only_ it should be so simple. But if everything goes according to plan, Chopper'll be locking down the bay where the Imperials dock. That'll leave us free to make our escape once we have the Lasat. Without their subjects, Project Ash Warrior will quickly lose traction. The Lasat will be free, we'll have won a victory, and Kallus still gets to keep the facade of a good little ISB agent. Everybody wins."

"Everybody except the Empire, at least. So, like you said, _everybody_ wins," Kanan pointed out with a small grin.

"Zeb," Hera said, her voice becoming a little more gentle as she turned her full focus on the Lasat, "I know- that it won't be easy for you down there. Are you ready for this?"

Zeb drew in a long breath before answering, his expression pensive. "I'm ready to do what I have to, Hera. This isn't gonna be pretty, but...this is all I have to give...for everythin' I couldn't do that day..."

The Twi'lek took in the former guardsman's tense appearance for several moments before moving forward and wrapping her arms around his much larger frame. Zeb accepted the hug with a grateful rumble in his chest.

"It'll be all right. We'll get them out. _All_ of them."

One by one, the other Spectres moved in to join the hug. Kanan came first, arms forming easily around Hera and Zeb, followed soon after by Ezra. Rex and Jidu didn't take long to join in either.

"Come on, kid. Get in here," Rex said to Zelina, waving her in when she was the only one left standing on the outside of the hug. She blinked curiously at them for only a moment before smiling, joining the group hug. Even Chopper got in on it as best he could, bumping up against the little group and earning a pat on the dome from all of them – even Zeb.

"Thanks, guys," the Lasat said softly, his easy rumble moving through all of them. "Nobody ever had a better gang of mates at his back than I do right now. Thank you."

None of them marked how long they stood like that, but one thing was certain by the end of it. They all felt just that little bit better about their near-suicidal venture – that much more ready to take on the whole Empire, regardless of the consequences.

XxX

Zeb was on high alert from the moment they broke out of hyperspace. He was still on the bridge of their junker of a freighter with Hera, Kanan, and Rex when they were contacted by port control.

"FX-0600 light freighter, you are ordered to identify yourself at once. You are entering restricted space," a particularly snippy Imperial voice came over the comm.

"This is FX-0600 light freighter, designation _Strike Saber_ ," Kanan responded with more of a growl in his voice than he typically spoke with. "We're here to collect on a bounty."

"There are no bounties here, scum," the controller replied, just as they'd been told he would. "You will have to seek elsewhere."

"Really? Because my information puts the drop point right there on your pretty blue world. After all, cats hate water...or so they say," the Jedi said, and even though he didn't falter on the Imperial slur for a Lasat, Zeb could tell he hated having to use it. He could see the way his friend's shoulders tensed in its delivery.

A disgustingly amused laugh sounded over the comm at this. "Indeed they do," the Imperial voice stated. "Perhaps we may yet do business, _Strike Saber._ Permission granted for docking bay 62. Proceed."

"Proceeding," Hera answered this time.

"Well, this is where the fun begins," Rex ground out before pulling on a helmet to conceal his cloned features. If anyone in the galaxy might recognize him offhand, it would be a gaggle of Imperial scientists.

"Ready to go, big guy?" Kanan asked as he moved back to him, resting a hand on his shoulder.

"Let's get this over with," Zeb growled, moving with the Jedi down to the cargo bay, where the younger rebels were all waiting. Ezra was decked out in a few simple pieces of armor Sabine had decorated for him, while Zelina was in her own Mando gear. Jidu's armor was a bit more of a mishmash. It would've been better for her to wear a helmet, given her past with Zaniva, but it was also helpful to display her Black Sun mark. Fewer questions that way. So her only piece of concealing gear was an eyepatch covering her left eye, effectively erasing the previous identity she'd used and placing a label on herself that would say only 'Allurian' as far as the Imperials were concerned.

Ezra removed his helmet as they approached, looking somewhat hesitant, and when he produced a pair of binders, Zeb understood why.

"I wanna find this funny, man, but...you gonna be okay?"

Zeb nodded once before handing his bo-rifle over to Kanan, who reverently placed the weapon on his back. "Guard that with your life, Kanan."

"Nothing less than."

"Good. Do it," he said to Ezra as he placed his hands behind his back. The young Jedi nodded before coming around to snap the binders in place. Zeb had to fight the urge to flinch when he heard and felt them lock.

"Docking now," Hera's voice came over the comm system. "Hope you guys are ready for the inspection team."

"Ready and waiting," Kanan said. Instead of his usual, distinctive mask, his blindness was concealed by a simple visor. "Zelina, I need you to be my eyes in the sky. Make sure nobody tries anything."

"Right," she said, quickly scrambling up to one of the catwalks surrounding the bay area and keeping a blaster casually trained on the space. When Zeb moved to his knees and Ezra and Jidu moved in to cover him with their own blasters, it was all a perfect tableau of illegal legitimacy for the Imperial inspection team that entered the bay – a supply officer and two stormtroopers.

"A new crew," the officer noted as she looked around at all of them. "I confess myself surprised Kuross would let such a prime specimen as _this_ slip through his fingers," she finished, eying Zeb up and down at the last in a way that made him want to wash his fur.

"Maybe your star pupil's losing his touch," Kanan said in a casually arrogant tone. "Giren and I go _way_ back and there was no way he was up to this challenge. Nobody but my boys could've caught this claw fish."

"Heheh, Archrem will be pleased with this one indeed," the officer continued as she walked a circle around them. Zeb felt the fur at the back of his neck rise unpleasantly when she ran a hand along his shoulders. The only defiant response he allowed himself was a low warning growl.

"Bad dog!" one of the stormtroopers snapped, dealing him a harsh blow to the side of the head with the butt of his blaster. Zeb went down with a strangled grunt of pain.

"Careful, TK-588. Wouldn't want to damage the merchandise prematurely after all," the officer scolded mildly. "Everything seems to be in order, though. I believe we can take you below," she finished, jerking her head back toward the bay entrance to indicate they ought to follow her.

"On your feet," Ezra snapped at him, disguising a move to help him up as a shove to his side. Zeb growled again as he got to his feet, but begrudgingly fell into step behind the officer.

The Lasat found himself marched from the ship and out into a docking bay, but before they could proceed a step further, another trooper approached them with a strange device in hand.

"What in the hells is that thing?" Jidu asked with a distasteful look.

"Sens-dep helmet," the trooper responded.

"What? You think we can't keep control of our own prisoner?" Kanan demanded sharply, conveying insult rather than the worry Zeb didn't doubt he was feeling.

"Oh, it has nothing to do with you; I assure you," the officer told him. "It's to keep the kitten from knowing too much about his new home before he gets there. Standard operating procedure for Zaniva. Honestly, I wish our Empire would make more use of them."

Zeb couldn't wholly help the step back he took when the trooper approached him again, the fear response not in any way faked. But before he could retreat further, he found himself up against the barrel of a blaster.

"Make a move, you," Jidu's voice came from behind him, firming up his resolve. The words were harsh, but the tone was soothing in that strange way the young Jedhan had. Retreating no further, Zeb only growled as the trooper closed the final distance to lock the helmet on his head.

Immediately, he was plunged into darkness and silence. What little air he'd been able to feel on his face was snatched away in an instant and, worst of all for him, his sense of smell was lost. So far as he could perceive, he was alone in an endless void, save for the feel of the blaster still pressed against his back, which he now clung to with hyper-intensity. He focused on that feeling and the reality of it with a desperation he'd never quite known, _needing_ it to guide him forward, and knowing it was the only point of contact, of _comfort_ , his friends could offer him.

 _Just keep goin'. You'll get through._

The time between being shoved in the helmet and suddenly being forced to his knees was agonizingly long, and he didn't imagine it was over yet. They would still need to be transported down to the actual facility, and who knew how long that would take? He couldn't help flinching when he felt the press of another blaster against the back of his left shoulder, a little more hesitant than Jidu's, but gradually firming up, likely to let him know it wasn't one of the Imperials.

Ezra.

If that first stretch of time had felt long, trapped in a constant state of _nothing_ , then this most recent stretch actually did seem endless. Desperate to feel _something_ , his nerves sought out the cold seeping in through his fur in a way they usually wouldn't, leaving him feeling horribly, miserably _cold_. They'd forgotten about him, hadn't they. They were going to leave him here, trapped in silent darkness _forever._

 _Oh, stars, oh, Ashla! I can't do this! I can't-_

And then, just when he really thought he might go mad, he felt the brush of something unfamiliar against his thoughts, almost like a warm nudge.

 _You're not alone,_ that strange press seemed to say. _We're here with you._

Kanan?

Well, if that was something his friend could do with his Force, probably it wasn't such a bad thing. The gentle touch kept him grounded, kept him _sane_ , reminded him to breathe when he almost had no way to know if he still could. He had no way of knowing how long he was like that, but he almost couldn't manage it when he was pushed to his feet again. It didn't seem like much distance before he was on his knees again.

When the helmet was jerked free, the sudden sensory input was violent and harsh. He cried out in pain as he squeezed his eyes shut, even the dim light of the new space much too bright for his more than human eyes. The simple feel of the air against his skin again was like a thousand tiny pinpricks, and the rush of it in his ears was like the roar of a gale force wind. The scents of salt and metal and disinfectant were like assaults on his now much too sensitive nose. It was too much. It was all too much! He was going to lose it! This was-

"Ah, a _very_ fine-looking specimen is this one," a deep, grating voice suddenly lanced into his awareness, pushing past the cacophony of _noise_ in his ears. A slender, but deceptively strong hand gripped his jaw and forced his head back. It was everything he could do not to try to bite that hand.

"I assume he will do you well, Doctor," yet another unfamiliar voice came to him, female this time.

"Oh, very well, I have little doubt. A strong neck, _excellent_ musculature and a well-defined jawline...a sure sign of good breeding among them." Then that hand was forcing his mouth open and fingers were reaching inside to examine his teeth. From where that hand gripped him, he could actually feel its owner _shiver._ "These _fangs_...truly magnificent. I would hazard a guess there is even some _noble_ blood in this one's background."

All right, this he was not going to take. Snarling, he attempted to bite the fingers in his mouth, but the scientist was just a little too quick for his overwhelmed reflexes.

"Oooh," the hand's owner shuddered with some sort of sick delight. "Such a _beast_. I like this one. Wherever did you come across such prime stock, Captain?"

"You'd be surprised what you can find hiding under the rocks on Dantooine," Kanan's strained voice came to him, and because he _knew_ the Jedi, he understood the masked tone of anger in his voice, but anyone else would likely take it as anger over the trouble of capturing Zeb. "Sure hope this one was worth the trouble it cost us."

"I can almost guarantee you he shall be. I'm half-tempted to skip processing and simply use him to inseminate my next group of females."

Zeb could've physically choked on the horror and shock he felt rising in his throat at those words. He _knew_ – of _course_ he knew. Kallus had told him what was being done in this place and he'd been trying to steel himself for it, but to _hear it_ – so outright like that...barely managing to wrench his still-sensitive eyes open, he looked up to find a fairly tall human standing over him. Still short by Lasat standards, but he looked to be only a little shorter than Kallus by Zeb's reckoning. His skin was pale. Not in the way Kal's was; more that it lacked for something. His features were sharp and narrow, framed by long black hair that was pulled back from his face. The eyes that looked out from that face were cold and gray, and they stared down a long nose at Zeb in a way that made him feel like he really was nothing more than a laboratory specimen.

The lead scientist Kallus had told them about. Garst Archrem

He honestly might've tried to jump the scientist then and there had Kanan not come to his rescue.

"Ugh, really? You gotta talk about that right now?" the knight asked in put-upon disgust. "I just ate. Besides, some of us are looking to get paid here. I hear this bruiser's worth a small fortune."

"A shame you are not more of an intellectual, Captain. Kuross is always interested in the science of it."

"I'll just bet he is," Kanan snarled softly.

"But he has not steered you wrong in this case. The going rate, of course. I'd be prepared to offer you a percentage on top of that, but the subject's...viability would need to be proven first."

Zeb shuddered in revulsion at the implication, grateful when Kanan snapped back with, "And how long does _that_ take? I like a bonus just as much as the next scoundrel, but we've got a schedule to keep here."

"Not long at all, really. It's a simple matter of an ejaculate sample," the scientist said, starting to reach a hand out for Zeb's neck, which the Lasat involuntarily pulled back from. If he had to suffer such an indignity twice in only a month...

"Oh, kriffing hells, forget that," Kanan ground out. When Zeb noticed the doctor's hand slide sharply to the side, he had to wonder if maybe the Force wasn't involved in some way. " _So_ don't have time for your xeno-husbandry. Besides, I can do you one better. _More_ than simple breeding stock."

The scientist quirked an eyebrow upward in interest. "All right, you have my attention. What is it that you think is of more value to me than this subject's exemplary genetic material?"

"This one was High Honor Guard. Giren might've mentioned there'd be top credit in it for any son of a gundark that could bring a live one of those in. It isn't just the genetics you want, is it. It's _them_. Their warrior culture. Only fully trained guardsmen can give you that."

"And we're supposed to just trust your word that this one was High Honor Guard?" the female voice Zeb had heard before asked. When he sought out its source, he found it was a figure he recognized. Older and with graying hair, but he did still know Schader Masaada. He had seen her that day.

"What? The finely crafted weapon strapped to my back isn't proof enough?" the Jedi knight spat out.

"Well...there is _one_ method of identification I believe may _satisfy_ all parties," the scientist said with a look that left Zeb's heart to drop into his stomach. There were only so many times Kanan could refuse to let them... _milk_ him...without starting to look suspicious.

"Man, I told you already, I _really_ don't need to see tha-"

"Not that," the scientist interrupted him before directing a sharp gaze to one of the stormtroopers. "Show me his back."

Zeb didn't have much time to wonder how they planned to do that before a trooper moved in behind him and ripped open the rough fabric at his back, baring his fur to the cold, recycled air of the facility. He struggled briefly when the scientist moved around behind him, but the troopers had a hold of him now. It was all he could do not to forget the plan altogether when he felt the human run clinical, uncaring fingers over his back and shoulders.

"Do you see, Captain? Just here," the man began to explain, fingers examining certain stripes in Zeb's fur. "The pattern of stripes is distinct. Not as individually distinct as a human fingerprint, of course, but distinct enough that lineage may be read within the lines. This one...yes...he is a son of the House of Orrelios. _Unquestionably_ good stock, worth at least the ten percent bonus, and of course there would be little doubt he was a true guardsman. The House of Orrelios produced many of them. So which branch are you?" he asked, speaking to Zeb for the first time in all of this, even though he didn't come back around to look him in the eye. "Talarann? Or perhaps you are one of Bennali's?" he suggested, fingers briefly digging into Zeb's fur. "Oh, I _hope_ you are one of hers. I would give much to have Bennali Orrelios' lineage in this pool."

That did it.

"You say one more word about my gran," Zeb began dangerously, "and I'll bite those kriffing Imperial fingers _right the kriff off!_ " he snarled in rage, attempting to break free of the troopers that held him. He shoved one of them across the room, but before he could get to another, he felt the stinging current of an electro-jabber as the weapon connected with his back. The pain was sharp and instant, causing him to cry out. The current of electricity was powerful enough to drop him completely, leaving him twitching in helpless agony on the floor.

"Mighty Bennali indeed," the human's voice was suddenly whispering in his ear, its owner bent down close to him. "The galaxy has given me an Orrelios. I will see that lovely seed in the womb of every female I have."

He would've torn the man's head off then and there. He _would have_ , plan be damned, but that he was now weak as a loth kitten from the punishing electrical current still wreaking havoc on his system. That and, even if he wouldn't fully admit it, he was still in shock from his stint in sensory deprivation. At the moment, lacking the ability to kill this monster, all he wanted was for everything to just _stop_.

If there was more said, he didn't hear it. He couldn't focus on any one thing except the feeling of being dragged from the room. By the time he was thrown into a cell, he was blissfully, mercifully unconscious.

XxX

Kanan was little better than Zeb in wishing they could kriff the kriffing plan altogether.

He would've liked to bury his lightsaber in Archrem's face, rather than endure the smugness coming off him in waves as Zeb was hauled away.

He would've liked to shatter the credit disk beneath his boot, rather than feel such blood money burn against the palm of his hand as he pocketed it.

He would've liked to tell the man exactly where he could stick it when he told them to go and enjoy the "wonders" of Ahto City.

But if he lost his control now, the entire operation would be lost. It would mean that Zeb was going through all this, that he had suffered at their hands, all for nothing. He couldn't let Zeb's pain be for nothing.

Even so, even with all this in his heart, it was all he could do to follow their escort back to the surface transport, to use the Force to convince their minds that they'd only brought one bounty hunter down from Ahto City, and to hide with Ezra and observe Jidu boarding the craft with the Imperials. It wasn't until they were some distance away that both of them let out the breaths they'd been holding.

"Kanan," Ezra started with a small quaver in his voice, the helpless anger and despair the knight had felt boiling at the surface of his padawan's thoughts beginning to spill out. "Zeb...they-"

"I know," Kanan soothed, reaching a hand across to rest it on his shoulder. "I know. But we're gonna get him out of here. We're gonna get them _all_ out." Because no matter the practicality or _im_ practicality of it, he just couldn't stand the thought of leaving even one innocent person trapped in this terrible place.

"Why would they just- why do they need to..." Ezra tried several times, struggling to give voice to what it was he wanted to ask. "Aren't there less...hands on methods for doing all this- breeding stuff?"

"There are. More efficient methods, too. Back in the day, the Republic had programs to aide planetary populations struggling with dwindling numbers. But this...I suspect it's done to deprive the Lasat of their pride...make them feel like they aren't anything more than tools of the Empire. Years and years of this kind of treatment...it's bound to wear them down. After all, if you get treated like a dumb animal long enough, that's what you'll become," he said, an unpleasant, unwanted memory of Zeb as he'd first known him swimming to the surface of his thoughts – the Lasat, beaten and broken down, luminous eyes dull and lifeless as he received yet another shock from the electro-collar he was locked into. It was a memory he didn't care to have repeated ever again. So they were just going to have to blow this place literally out of the water. "Now let's get moving. Kallus should've cleared us a path through security feeds by now. We've got a day or so of work to do and only a few hours to do it in."

XxX

There had been times when Zeb had felt better upon regaining consciousness, but then there were also times he'd felt worse, so he wasn't exactly about to start complaining. His wrung-out muscles told him just how much on the receiving end of the electro-jabber he'd been. It was pain he was familiar with, though, and he would recover from it. What he could do without was the tapping sensation he was feeling at his right shoulder. He groaned as he slowly forced his eyes open, only to be met with a pair of wide green eyes that seemed only a little smaller than his own.

He jerked into a sitting position, startling the little one back from him. The boy yelped and scuttled back until he hit the cell wall.

"H- hey there," Zeb started hesitantly, not really sure what else to say.

"Kestry, what did I say?" a familiar voice scolded. "Give him some room to adjust."

"No way," Zeb whispered in shock as he looked to the cell entrance, which was no longer laser-sealed. When the voice's owner came into view, Zeb was presented with a face he'd thought he would never see again in life. "Zekaru Talbenna."

Once the other Lasat got a good look at his face, all he could seem to do was stare at him in shocked amazement.

"Captain?"

Then Zekaru was on his knees beside him, pulling him into a tight hug, which Zeb found himself returning without hesitation.

"Zeb! Garazeb Orrelios! Ashla damn your eyes! I thought you were dead," the taller Lasat all but cried into his shoulder.

"Same, Kar," he returned, feeling the same well of emotion boiling up inside him as he embraced his fellow guard. "I thought the same thing."

"What happened to you?" his former second-in-command asked as he pulled back to have another good look at his face. "How did you escape?"

Zeb shrugged. "Gran got a handful of us out after that last explosion. Years haven't exactly been kind. I'm all that's left of that group. Guess I don't have to ask how _you_ survived," he said, glancing around the small cell.

Kar's expression went grim at this, his gaze falling to the floor. "No. I've been here...all this time. If you remember...I headed the detachment you sent to try and rescue the children after the creche was breached. We couldn't stop them. Alreitha and I were taken. The rest were killed," he recounted, briefly gripping at his own arms.

"Alreitha's here?" Zeb pressed. Another trusted member of the Guard. The more of them that were here, the easier it would be to facilitate this whole plan. "How many? How many other guards?"

"Before you arrived, five of us from the High Guard, and several more from the Low Guard. For their- _breeding_ stock, they prefer members of the Guard," he said, voice full of disgust and old hate as he looked down at his hands.

"Papa?" the little boy suddenly asked in a small voice. "What- what are those funny sounds?"

Hearing the child speak Basic was jarring. It had happened so easily, Zeb hadn't actually noticed that they'd slipped from Basic back into Lasana until it was pointed out.

"It's the language of my people, Kes'aki...of _our_ people," he said, holding his hand out to the child. "Come here. Come and meet Papa's dear friend."

The boy slowly crawled over to them, and once he was safely tucked against his father's side, he peeked shyly up at Zeb. For a moment, all the former captain could manage to do was glance between the former guard and his son.

"You don't speak Lasana with the little ones?" Zeb asked with a twinge of horrified sorrow.

"It's forbidden. They want these children to have their warrior heritage and nothing else. All other aspects of our culture are stripped away. Zeb...do you _know_ what this place is?"

"I've got an idea," he said quietly, glancing around the cell again. In the process, he couldn't help but notice that his clothes had been exchanged for the same type of gray prison jumpsuit Kar and Kestry were wearing. Which meant they had stripped him some time while he was unconscious. _Sleemos._

Pulling himself back from the thoughts, he turned his focus back to his friend, shifting to Lasana before continuing.

"Do they understand any Lasana? The scientists?"

"For the most part, no. We've tried not to give them reason to _want_ to understand it...so we have something that's still our own, even if we can't share it with our children," he said, gently stroking the top of his son's head. "But- how _do_ you know what this place is? None of the other new ones who were brought in had any idea where they'd been brought."

"We've got a guy on the inside," Zeb answered. Much as he wanted to, he was not going to risk identifying Alex in any way. Just in case this didn't work, in case _anything_ went wrong, he was going to see that his _Tinsana_ remained safe. Kallus' identity as Fulcrum had to be protected – at _any_ cost. "An alliance has been forming in the years since Lasan fell. I'm a part of that rebellion. What would you say if I told you I was sent in here to get you all out?"

For a moment, Kar's gaze sharpened and his hold on his young son tightened. Then he shuddered as he closed his eyes.

"Not all that long ago, I would've said it was impossible. But now you show up here like some miracle. Heh, typical Orrelios. Is this rebellion of yours prepared for just how many of us there are?" he asked as he looked back up at Zeb.

"We've got the numbers. Everything's been planned out. I just need to make sure everyone can be ready for when the time is right."

"If you'd been _anyone_ else, I would've said you were crazy," Kar said with a small, pained laugh. "You're going to have to let me get the others used to the idea."

"Be just like old times, yeah?" Zeb said, reaching out to grip his old friend's shoulder.

A small smirk showed through the years of anguish and despair that had worn the other Lasat down. "If by 'just like old times', you mean you doing something crazy and me convincing literally everyone else that you actually know what you're doing...then yes. _Just_ like old times."

"Garazeb?" a new, just as shocked, just as familiar voice suddenly joined in the conversation. "Garazeb Orrelios?"

When Zeb looked to the entrance this time, it was to the sight of a woman he knew, though she was difficult to recognize through the weight of the years. Alreitha Rivani had once been a renowned warrior among his guards, unmatched in her deadly beauty. But years of captivity and childbearing had worn her down. Her once proud shoulders were hunched, held close to her center in some sort of futile attempt to protect herself. Her hair was long and unkempt, a strand of it clutched tightly in the hand of a tiny kit, not quite Arkalia's age, but no newborn either. Worse still was the sight that she was clearly expecting another child, the swell of her pregnant belly already visible beneath her prison uniform. All of this was compounded by the fact that Zeb knew Alreitha had once had a Bondmate – a lovely court singer who had been even more renowned for her beauty than Reith herself had been...a woman Zeb had watched die in the arms of her beloved the day Lasan fell. To see graceful, powerful Reith like _this_ – reduced to nothing more than an incubator, forced to share her body with _men_ – it tore at something in the former captain's heart.

"Reith," he started, voice already thick with sorrow even as he offered her a smile, rising to his feet to embrace her. She gripped him tightly with her one arm, the other still curled protectively around the kit she held. When they separated, she looked up at him, smiling sadly as she shook her head.

"Should've known they couldn't kill you...Zeb'aki'a."

"Heh, didn't think I'd ever hear _anybody_ call me that again."

"Without Ash around, somebody's got to keep your head from getting too large."

"You'll try."

"It's all right," Reith called back into the corridor when the sound of skittering hands and feet reached their ears. "He's a friend."

Several tiny faces peered around the entryway at her words, looking curiously in at the new grownup.

"You'll have to excuse them," Reith said with a sigh and another shake of her head. "We don't get new people very often now."

"No, that's- fine. They're not- all _yours_ , are they?" Zeb couldn't manage to stop himself from asking.

"No, but we all care for each other in here. Sometimes it's better not to remember who actually belongs to who. Even Ajyrial here's not actually mine," she said, dandling the little kit at her breast. "Her mother died- to give her life. Among this particular band of troublemakers...only Kestry is mine."

At this, Zeb glanced between his two friends in quiet horror. Kar and Reith had always been partners, that much was true, but to force them into _this_...it was an insult to their friendship, to the Bond Reith had once shared.

"Don't pity us, Captain," Kar said as he got to his feet with Kestry still in his arms, a little more formal now. "It's...better...to have someone you know...someone you _trust_. What's worse is to have to see the pairs who were complete strangers...that the Imperials just threw into a cell together and forced to rut like a pair of _animals_ ," he growled. "Reith and I can still respect each other, at least."

"Aren't you going to bring him out?" one of the older children suddenly asked. "The cycle won't last forever. Everyone's going to want to meet him."

"Of course, of course," Reith said with a small, indulgent laugh as she switched back to Basic for the kits. Worn down as she was, she was still clearly a figure of authority. Nodding back in the direction she'd come from, she began to move out into the corridor.

"So they don't- keep you in cells all the time?" Zeb asked as he and Kar fell into step beside her, the gaggle of children forming a cluster around them as they moved.

"For the most part, they do. But we are allowed community time once a cycle. A chance to pass on the warrior psyche these people are so terribly fond of," Reith bit out as she walked, a slightly more regal air settling about her hunched shoulders. "Still...it's one of the few things we have to look forward to in this place."

While they walked, Zeb had the chance to fill the two in on everything that had happened and was yet to happen. As they moved through the corridors, more and more Lasat joined them, until a small wave seemed to be moving around them, entering a large communal space. And much though it soothed some long-held ache in Zeb's heart not to be the only purple face in a sea of human faces, it also pained him to know what his people – his _friends_ – were being used for.

The ages of the Lasat gathered in the common area ran the gamut from tiny, fluffy newborns to just a few years older than him. Of course they wouldn't keep anyone who was much older locked up here. They were only interested in reproductively viable Lasat. Reith and Kar brought him to the other three former guards the facility was holding – one of the females he knew, Shantiri Valgayos, and a younger male and female he was less certain of. The boy, Arabyr Devon, he knew had been inducted into the High Guard just before the siege, but he did remember that the younger male had fought bravely during the battle. The girl, Envashtyr Tormalius, he vaguely recalled had been on some sort of probation at the time. She had been away from the capital undergoing spiritual counseling for excessive use of force in combat. Where she stood now, who could say? But Zeb didn't doubt he could trust her to keep herself in check for the sake of the tiny kit clinging to her breast, eyes still unopened.

And if Zeb had had any doubts they were under total surveillance, those were laid to rest when some sort of overhead announcement sounded in the community space.

"By now, I imagine you are all well aware of the fact that a new subject has joined our project," Archrem's snide voice sounded overhead. "His samples have tested _extremely_ well in all categories, so we shall begin using him immediately."

Zeb felt his innards sink all over again at the human's words. His _samples?_ That could only mean that they'd also...taken those samples...while he'd been passed out. They had...actually...

 _Oh, Ashla..._

If he'd actually eaten anything today, he would've thrown it all up by now with the sick feeling of revulsion clawing at his stomach.

 _Those..._ _ **beasts.**_

"I hope all of you in Group Cresh have had the chance to look at Subject Aura 224, as _he_ will be the father of your children. Feel free to get to know him more intimately before the official impregnations begin. The usual exemptions will apply to any who take initiative in this matter. To such ends, your community time shall be extended an extra two hours tonight. Have a pleasant evening, children of Lasan."

" _Karabast,_ " Zeb snarled, feeling his entire frame _vibrate_ with rage and disgust. "When I get outta here, I'm gonna tear that Imp's head off _myself_."

"Threaten later," Shantiri warned him as she began to glance warily around the room. "For now, Captain, you may want to think about choosing a few of the women to bed before the lot of them jump you."

"What?" Zeb demanded, following Tiri's gaze and seeing that several of the women were now eying him with a little more _intent_ now that some sort of open season seemed to have been declared. Even a few of the younger ones who didn't quite look old enough to be _mating_ were looking to him with a kind of desperation in their eyes. "What was he talkin' about? What _exemptions?_ "

"They'll sometimes allow us to- _engage_ with each other...of our own choosing," Arabyr began to explain, shuddering at some unpleasant memory. "Some would prefer even that small illusion of choice over no choice at all...would prefer to do it here among our own people and not in a cell, being watched by Imperial scientists."

"Any woman who takes your seed to her belly tonight will not be made to do so again this round," Tiri continued, her own interest in the notion showing through in spite of her respect for him. "For many, even one reprieve from exhibition is worth everything," she said, not wholly able to help herself when she stretched her wrist toward him, brushing it gently along his hip in the hope of wakening him to her.

Zeb didn't jerk back from her like he wanted to. He knew she couldn't help it. This was her life now. It was the only way to get by. Even without anything in his stomach, he honestly feared he might be sick. But he didn't let his horror show. Instead, he took her hand, pushing it unerringly away from his body.

" _Tiri'ka..._ _ **orra**_ _,_ " he said, gently but firmly, continuing in Lasana. "That's _not_ happening. It's never gonna happen to _any_ of you, ever again."

A flash of long-burning anguish sparked behind the guardswoman's eyes at that, though she did respect his command. A few tears slid from her eyes as she asked him, "And how do you imagine _that's_ going to happen?"

"Because we're getting out of here. _All_ of us."

The whispers immediately began to spread among those who had understood him. For those who hadn't, all of the younger ones, Kar called out in Basic, "Come sit, everyone. I want to tell you a story about Captain Garazeb Orrelios."

"The queen's knight?" one of the little girls squealed in excitement.

"The royal guardian!" one of the boys cheered. Apparently the other guards had told stories about him before.

"Yes. I'm going to tell you about a time when he was still just a cadet and he saved Princess Zorahan and his entire unit."

"Got yourselves a bit of a folk hero?" Zeb quietly asked Tiri in Lasana as many of the others moved to gather around Kar.

"Well...you know how it is," she said with a shrug. "You _need_ the stories. You need them to get by."

"Only hope I can live up to what you all've been telling these scamps."

"If anyone could, it would be you," she said, visibly resisting the urge to reach out and touch him again. But even with his earlier pronouncement, many of the women looked like they were still more interested in the actual Captain Orrelios than in just hearing a story about him. "Though...we are still under surveillance. If only to satisfy _them_...and to keep these other kath hounds at bay...you may want to at least fake making a choice."

He glanced at her out of the corner of his eye for a long moment before speaking up again. "I can fake it if you think it'll help, Tiri, but I'm not doin' more than that. My heart is bound. I have a Bond, and I won't betray that Bond."

"I understand," she returned as she took his hand in hers. "It's easy enough- to appear to be doing something. Especially if, as you say, I won't be subjected to a scan afterward."

"Never again," he promised her as she led him away from the gathering, toward an out of the way corner of the area that had clearly been set up for this sort of thing – a few chairs and a ratty old blanket. Pushing him into one of the chairs with a need that was only partly faked, she quickly grabbed the blanket and pulled it over them as she settled herself on his lap. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he was vaguely aware of Kar telling his story.

"But the young guard knew better. He knew exactly what sort of dangers were awaiting the princess."

"This is starting to sound a lot more epic than I remember," Zeb said with a chuckle, helping Tiri to move subtly against him, creating the illusion of more activity than was actually happening. "More stumbled into a plot was what I did."

"It isn't just that, Captain," she returned, smiling against him. "There's a code to it. We have to be able to speak to each other even when we can't speak Lasana. He's telling everyone what's happening."

They didn't speak much as they continued their performance, giving Tiri the opportunity to listen in on Kar's tale of Zeb's thrilling heroics. She was obviously taking more meaning from it than Zeb himself was, because when Kar came to a bit about him taking on an entire force single-handedly, he thought he saw tears in her eyes.

"Hey?" he started, pulling her tightly against him to simulate their peak. "You okay?"

"As I can be. Just remembering how my parents were always saying the queen made a good choice with you...even when so many others doubted her. To survive what you have...all alone-"

"I wasn't alone," he said quietly as he held her, hoping to give her just this simple bit of intimate contact that wasn't putting any other demands on her. "They're a ragtag bunch, but I've had my friends with me. They're my family. They always come through."

"Still...to even _think_ you were alone...that you might be the last of us...you are braver than I am, Captain. Especially to willingly walk in here. I only hope this plan succeeds."

"It will," Zeb soothed as he held his friend and fellow guard.

 _It_ _ **has**_ _to._

"So the next time you find yourself facing such a situation, remember Garazeb Orrelios," Kar started to wrap up his little tale. "The galaxy may be insane, the beings in it even more so, and you may have to be insane right along with them all, but most of all I want you to understand that you have the power to do what you know is right, even if nobody else will help you."

Zeb didn't need to know their code to take the meaning of those words. They would do their best to rise up, but they were counting on him. His people were counting on him and his friends to come through.

 _I let you all down before. I failed you. I'm_ _ **not**_ _gonna fail you again._

XxX

Jidu had been in her element slipping into the role of Imperial tech. It hadn't been at all difficult to get the uniform and scan docs from the tech who had actually been called. The most important thing she retrieved from the man, though, was his technician's override code. When things got hot, as they almost inevitably seemed to, that code would open doors that might otherwise remain closed. This allowed her to work at her saboteur's leisure as she went about further fowling up what Ezra and Kanan had begun before her arrival.

Everything was going according to plan – and wasn't it an interesting commentary on the state of affairs when you could say that the sudden feel of a bo-rifle bayonet pressing against your back was all part of the plan.

"Don't move...rebel."

XxX

(A/N) All righty, next time we'll be seeing what all has been happening on Kallus' end. Then things'll _really_ get crazy. Until then, dear readers, adieu.


	12. And Then I Heard You Flatline

(A/N) *long, defeated sigh* So sorry for the delay on this new chapter. It was no easier to write than the last one. And because it's so mind-breaking, I wanted to try and confine it to just one more chapter. The result of which being that you now get a super long chapter for your pains and mine. Heheh, con-going and GoT binging certainly don't help the situation either. So the same warning applies to this chapter as last one. Got some pretty tough shit going down here. There's also a lot of Lasana in this one, but there'll be translations for it at the end. And again, I don't know if I can say I hope you enjoy this. Instead I will simply wish you good luck.

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 12: And Then I Heard You Flatline_

As a fully trained espionage agent, Kallus' chief goal upon entering the Zaniva compound had been destabilization – to quietly prepare the research facility for a quick collapse. He was always gathering information, of course – data on what had been done to the Lasat prisoners and what could be done to help them recover – but his immediate interest was in bringing Project Ash Warrior down. Therefore, once he understood their operation, his first step had been to introduce bugs to the system.

They were little glitches in the massive mechanism that kept the compound running – tiny data collection errors, blips in security and surveillance. Not anything to raise suspicion or alarm, just enough to put people on edge, to get scientists testy with each other and maintenance personnel overwrought. The method he had learned well from the ISB was death from a thousand small cuts, rather than large, mortal injuries. The process was slower, but just as efficient as open attack, if not more so.

His main focus had been surveillance on the common area. First, because he knew it would be where the Spectres hatched their plot from, and second, it allowed the prisoners a little more privacy than they were typically afforded, even if they didn't know it. From the moment he'd seen how some of the techs would gather to watch the prisoners mate – like it was all some dirty holo put on for their amusement – he'd known he couldn't let it continue, even for his act as the Lasat-hating ISB agent. When all these people were trying to do was scratch out the tiniest modicum of dignity for themselves, and their jailers were so blatantly spitting in their faces by treating them like nothing more than spectacle – _no._ He couldn't just stand by and watch that happen.

So those same techs suddenly found the security feed from the common area cutting in and out. Again, not enough to rouse suspicion, just enough to annoy them out of attempting to watch the sessions as closely as they had done.

Another, more personal goal in all of this had been a desire to see if he could identify Arkalia's parents, to learn for certain if they had escaped from this facility. Though the thought set something in his stomach to clenching unpleasantly...maybe the little kit still had family in this place. Family who might want her back...

But that unpleasant clenching was replaced with a deep ache when he finally did come across the picture of the young Lasat woman he had seen for the first and last time in that burnt out enclave on Alluria. He would never be able to forget her face, even if he tried – the woman who had given their precious Lia life.

Although...girl might be more accurate than woman from what he was reading in her file. Twenty-two. She had been only twenty-two years old when she died, only twenty-two when she'd given birth to Arkalia. For a Lasat, it was the human equivalent of a _fourteen-year-old_ giving birth. And along with her face came the faces of the other three Lasat he'd seen that day – the man he'd fought outside the burning dwelling and the two he had found dead inside of it. Those two he might have had trouble identifying, but that he'd remembered that one of them had been missing an ear, and finding that image had led him to the last one.

Subject Aurek 177: Chardan Sorril – a former guardsman.

Subject Zerek 232: Kazari Vison – the one with only one ear. Arkalia's father.

Subject Nen 101: Orvazad Zekala – a former royal advisor. The man he'd fought.

Subject Aurek 005: Arekaya Selvarrio – Arkalia's mother.

"Something interests you, Agent Kallus?" Garst Archrem's voice was suddenly burrowing its way into Kallus' awareness. The agent took a step back from the holoscreen he'd been working at, glancing over to find the scientist perusing the files he'd been going through.

"These four," he started, keeping his tone even as he swept a hand across the four displayed files. "I've seen them before."

"You have?" Archrem pressed in sudden interest. "Do you know where they are now? I would be _most_ interested in retrieving them. The female especially. She was pregnant when they escaped."

"By now, I would guess they are dust on the winds of Alluria. It was several months back. These four had become part of an insurgent enclave active on the planet. They were killed when a detachment raided the settlement," he explained, looking away from the scientist as he spoke, not wanting to risk being unable to keep up his vaguely disinterested expression.

"A few months? The child then. What of the child? It would've been born by then," Archrem continued with an unsettling hunger in his voice. "If there is even the _slightest_ possibility that child is still alive-"

"The child is _not_ still alive," Kallus responded firmly, the words practically blistering on his tongue as he spoke them. Lie though they were, even the _thought_ of Arkalia not being alive...of her tiny, lifeless body cradled against her mother's breast in death...it made his heart clench violently in protest. Even so, this lie just might save her life. "They were all killed in the raid."

"Oh...I'm _so_ sorry to hear that," the scientist said with a shake of his head, even his put-upon sympathy sickening Kallus to the core. "We had such high hopes for Aurek 005's offspring."

"My apologies," Kallus said, barely managing to bite back his disgust. "Had I known they were Ash Warrior subjects, I might've been able to bring the girl and the older one back. But there was no warrant out for any of them that I'd been able to discover."

The scientist snickered at that one. "No. There wouldn't have been. Above all things, this project is not on record. Like this facility, it does not exist. Which makes recapture of wayward subjects difficult, I grant, but this was certainly no fault of yours."

"Why the interest in this particular subject?" Kallus forced himself to continue the conversation, even though he _knew_. He recognized the name Selvarrio after all.

"Aurek 005 was the last living vessel of Lasat royal blood, spared from the execution of her family at _my_ request. I was most eager to be able to experiment with those genetics. It was a real stir around the office when the impregnation with Zerek 232 was a success."

"Was it?" Kallus barely managed to force himself to choke out. "I would be almost surprised if the girl had yet been reproductively viable."

"Lasat menarche is twenty years of age on average. We begin breeding the females at nineteen just to be certain we don't miss any opportunities. Several of them have become healthy mothers with healthy offspring even before twenty. We began breeding Aurek 005 at nineteen with the rest of her age mates, but she hadn't yet become pregnant. The subjects were all- most insistent on her not being subjected to our normal laboratory sessions for copulation the rest of them undergo."

 _I wonder why?_ Kallus snarled vehemently in his thoughts.

"She was always taken by one of the guardsmen, likely to observe some archaic ritual of royal purity among them. But when all of them failed to impregnate her even after years of trying, I began inseminating her artificially without their knowledge during her monthly checkups. After all, it mattered little to me who fathered her offspring, so long as she actually bore children," the man recounted in a voice so cold and clinical, it left Kallus short of breath.

"Did- _she_ know?" he asked, fighting to keep his voice even. He wasn't sure why he was asking, why it even mattered. Perhaps it was fitting punishment for his past misdeeds – to bear silent witness to the functional _rape_ and _torture_ of this girl who'd been hardly more than a child herself. He _needed_ to hear all of Arekaya's story. To turn away now would be a betrayal, cowardice of the worst order.

"Oh, certainly not. If she'd been aware, she would've told the guards, and they may have actually risen against us. Besides, it was easy enough to keep her ignorant of what was happening, a simple matter of slipping in a catheter with the other tools during pelvic exams."

"And...that was how you achieved your success?" he asked, keeping his gaze fixed unerringly upon the beautiful young woman in the holoimage.

 _Stars...the horrors that_ _ **child**_ _must have gone through..._

"Not actually, no. Every single one of my experiments failed. Nothing I did could coax semen to take root in that girl's womb. I was beginning to fear she was simply infertile, and at that, we would have simply had to dispose of her. An unfortunate waste, certainly, but we cannot afford to go on devoting resources to dead ends; you understand?"

Unable to force himself to speak, Kallus just nodded.

"But then Subject Zerek 232 was brought to us. The boy was one of Kuross' lesser catches. With what he was paid for him, I highly doubt he even broke even on the resources it must've taken to capture the subject. None of us thought much of him; he was a nobody before he came to us and he was even more so after. The Zerek subjects are classified as such because they are largely unbreedable, health issues, bad genetics, and the like. We give the Zerek males a few runs with the more fertile females of Aurek and Besh groups, and vice versa, and if nothing comes of it, they are disposed of. But this particular Zerek, well...it seems nature works in strange ways, because those two formed some sort of bond."

 _They fell in love,_ Kallus realized, his heart swelling with pity as his gaze shifted between the images of Arekaya and Kazari. Perhaps he was only imagining things, but he thought he could see their daughter in their faces – the shape of Lia's little ears mirrored in her mother's larger ones...the stripes in her fur echoed in what few patterns he could see in her father's.

"Where the most robust seed of the sons of Lasan could not take root, the seed of that scrawny, underdeveloped nobody _thrived_. She was pregnant after only one coupling. Strangely enough, it was an opportunity we almost missed. We'd had no intention of breeding him with her. They simply...came together. It is truly an unfortunate waste that none of them survived. I have little doubt their offspring would have brought a great deal to this pool."

"So how was it they escaped in the first place?" Kallus asked, relieved to finally be able to shoot a very pointed glare in the scientist's direction.

A look of annoyance flashed in the man's eyes at that one. "Ah...well, our investigations have been inconclusive thus far, but it seems they somehow managed to stowaway aboard one of the transport vessels to escape to the surface. But you may rest assured it will not happen again."

"It had _better_ not," Kallus snapped, unleashing his anger in the only way he could. Before he could subject himself to more of Archrem's twisted notions of science, however, his comlink signaled him.

"Agent Kallus," Masaada's voice sounded at the other end of the line. "It seems your rebel crew is inbound. I understand it's better for you not to be present for this exchange, but I thought you might like to observe."

"That would be ideal, yes," he said, making sure the hitch in his breathing had passed before he responded.

"I realize it's important that your observations be uninterrupted. I believe the security terminal in my office is the only one that hasn't been experiencing... _problems_ of late," she ground out mildly. "You may observe from there if you wish."

"Yes, thank you, Colonel. I will head there immediately."

"Shall I join you in the docking bay, Colonel?" Archrem asked before Kallus could cut the communication, his tone of voice _entirely_ too interested. "I'm sure you'll want me on hand to check the quality of their merchandise, as it were."

"Certainly, Doctor. Report to the bay in ten minutes."

"Of course."

Kallus didn't cut the connection, but Masaada did eventually, leaving the agent clutching the comm device in a grip so tight, it was a wonder the thing didn't shatter.

"It's been such a long time since we had a new subject, and this one will be naive and hopeful enough to still believe he'll be leaving when it's all over. This will certainly prove entertaining," Archrem said on his way out, and it was a kriffing _blessing_ Kallus still had his fingers wrapped around the comlink, because if they hadn't been, the former Imperial was quite certain they would be wrapped around the scientist's pasty neck, squeezing the life from his worthless throat.

To have all of the things that utter sleemo had said about Arkalia's parents so fresh in his ears...and to think of them being applied to Zeb... _his Zeb_...like he was nothing more than some prize stud...it clawed horribly at his heart, leaving him with nothing but feelings of anger and guilt and anguish. Could he even _bear_ to watch this happen?

 _You will,_ he snarled in anger at his own wavering spirit. _You_ _ **will**_ _watch it...because to do anything less than suffer it with him is to betray him._

So, swallowing down the horror and fear and rage that was Alex, lover of Zeb, he steeled himself once more as Imperial Security Bureau Agent Kallus, rebel spy, and made his way to Masaada's office.

The room the Colonel used for her office was fairly large, but also largely unadorned, as the extravagance of extra furnishings would be wasted on Masaada's sightless eyes. Schader Masaada was nothing if not practical. The office's only real feature was a large floor to ceiling bay window that looked out upon the endless blue-green of Manaan's abyssal ocean. The light that filtered down to this depth was all that lit the room through this window when he entered the space. It wasn't much, but it was enough to see by to make his way to her desk and boot up the holo terminal there.

It didn't take him long to tap into the security feed from the docking bay, but when he did, the sight that greeted his eyes was Zeb being half-dragged from a transport by stormtroopers, his head locked into a sensory deprivation helmet.

It only got worse from there, having to witness the way Zeb had so clearly suffered in that helmet, to the way Archrem surveyed him like a cut of meat – as if he were no more sentient than a pile of rocks. When Archrem began to talk about skipping procedure and breeding Zeb right away, Kallus felt a hard knot of fear begin to squeeze at the base of his spine.

No. Not Zeb! They couldn't _do this to him!_ He was supposed to be able to get Zeb out before anything happened to him. And now...

Well...now it was a good thing he was witnessing all this from a distance, because he honestly wasn't certain he would've been able to restrain himself from interfering if he were nearby. He was able to keep himself anchored to the desk as he watched Kanan carefully intervene each time, even when Archrem was threatening to actually _take a sample_ from the Lasat. Kallus felt his heart clench painfully when he saw the tiny spark of fear in his lover's eyes.

 _Zeb...I'm so sorry. I should never have brought you here. This is too much. I should've found a way on my own. I should've-_

The guilty accusations continued to stream through his mind as he watched the scene unfold, mixing with anger when Archrem ordered the troopers to bare Zeb's back. And as he watched the scientist run his fingers along the Lasat's fur, defiling with his touch what he himself had touched in love and adoration, saw the barely contained revulsion in his love's eyes...Kallus could only _wish_ he had killed Garst Archrem.

He saw the moment something snapped in Zeb's eyes, watched him lash out at his tormentor and be punished for it, dragged from the bay barely conscious. Shuddering in quiet anguish, he forced himself to take a moment to be certain Ezra and Kanan were not appearing on the security cams before tapping into the security feed from the cell he knew they'd planned to place Zeb in.

Zeb himself was unconscious by this point, but that was probably better, given that the troopers who'd dragged him to the cell were beginning to strip him out of his clothing in preparation for getting him into a prison uniform. Out of respect for what his lover was going through, Kallus made certain to keep his gaze fixed on Zeb's face. This was _not_ what he wanted his first sight of Zeb undressed to be.

"Wait," Archrem's voice suddenly entered the feed before the man himself appeared on the holoscreen. "We have him stripped down. May as well take care of this while our big boy's still out," he said as he moved to his knees beside the Lasat. When Kallus managed to identify the items he'd brought into the cell with him, he realized with mounting horror that they were vials – a small set of ten or so.

"No," Kallus couldn't keep himself from whispering in harrowed shock. He had known it would have to be done; he just hadn't thought it would be this soon – that _maybe_ there was hope to escape first.

"Don't think you maybe overdid it with the vials, Doctor?" one of the troopers asked with a small chuckle.

Archrem raised an eyebrow as he looked up at the man. "This is your first experience with sperm collection, I gather. You see, where human males will ejaculate only about 10 milliliters of semen in a single emission, Lasat males will ejaculate up to 250 milliliters per emission. They are also capable of multiple discharges if one is...determined enough. These vials may be only just enough. Now let's see what this magnificent specimen has for us."

He couldn't stop it. Even if he ran, this most grievous of violations would be over long before he could make it to the holding cells. Besides, no matter what excuse he could come up with, he knew he wouldn't be able to dissuade the half-mad scientist from taking what he wanted from Zeb; not with the look that was currently in his eyes.

 _Zeb...I'm_ _ **so**_ _sorry. Please...forgive me. Forgive me for allowing them to do this to you, my love._

Torn between his desire to look away in respect of his lover's badly violated bodily autonomy and his decision to endure everything that Zeb suffered with him as best he could, Kallus tried his best to keep his gaze fixed above the Lasat's chest, but that gave him an oddly perfect view of Archrem reaching out to begin stroking a certain spot on Zeb's neck. After several minutes of very intent stroking and rubbing, an unsettling purring sound was picked up by the security cam. Kallus felt certain that under any other circumstances, he would've _loved_ that sound, but to hear it like _this..._

"Ah, a _very_ large boy," Archrem's voice lanced into his thoughts, praising whatever it was he was seeing. "And he stiffened so quickly, too...strong... _healthy_... _very_ fertile, I have little doubt. Come now, my boy, show me _everything_ you've got."

Kallus felt a wave of nausea rise through his innards at how much Archrem was unduly enjoying his work. He honestly wasn't sure how much more of this he could stomach.

 _But you_ _ **will**_ _,_ he scolded himself yet again, keeping his eyes locked onto Zeb's unconscious face. _Zeb has no choice in this matter, but_ _ **you do,**_ _and you_ _ **will not**_ _choose to turn away from this now. You will endure what you have forced upon him. You_ _ **will watch this.**_

 _Zeb...forgive me..._ _ **forgive me.**_ _I love you._

But still Archrem's voice was there, mocking everything the agent claimed to feel with his vile words.

"Any moment now...yes... _there,_ " the scientist said with a pleased gasp. "There's the barb."

He couldn't take it. Feeling the small protein ration he'd eaten earlier rebel against his tightly wound control, Kallus was forced to duck his head over the small compactor unit beside Masaada's desk and empty the contents of his stomach into it. The taste of his own vomit was bitter and sour on his tongue as Archrem's words continued to assault his ears.

"Good boy...good boy...that's a good boy... _so good_...my my my. Well over 300 milliliters, even, and _still_ not finished. _That's_ my good boy. It's been a while for you, hasn't it. Oh, I _knew_ I should have brought more vials for this one. I just _hate_ wasting even a _drop_ of Orrelios seed. I shall have to come better prepared next time."

 _There won't_ _ **be**_ _a next time, you_ _ **monster.**_ _The next time you even_ _ **try**_ _to raise a hand to my Zeb, I'll kill you myself,_ he vowed, even as his body trembled with the aftershocks of the sudden, violent illness. When he finally forced himself to look back at the holoscreen, it was at least to the relieving sight that the doctor no longer had his hands on Zeb's body.

"Clean him up before you finish dressing him, won't you?" the man requested as he carefully entered the data for each now-full vial. "The floor as well. Such a mess they make, these boys. I'll have to take another sample once community time has concluded. Then we can get an estimate for his depletion rate. If it's low enough, I might even be able to schedule him extra sessions. By the stars, we'll have the whole of Cresh impregnated with this one," he said, continuing to talk to himself as he carried his vials of ill-gotten genetic material from the cell.

"Is it just me, or does that guy enjoy his job just a little _too_ much?" the newer trooper asked his compatriot.

"You get used to him. You get used to 'em all," the other trooper responded as he went about the task of cleaning Zeb up.

With Archrem gone, Kallus didn't feel the need to police his gaze quite as intently. He let his eyes canvass the Lasat's body as the troopers cleaned and dressed him, as if he could soothe his love's suffering with his gaze the same way he might be able to with his hands.

If nothing else, he supposed he could be grateful for the fact that Zeb had remained unconscious throughout it all. It wouldn't be difficult for him to figure out what had happened later, but at least he didn't have to remember this...what they had done to him. No. That was a horror for Alex alone to bear. And now, at least, it was over. If this was the worst this mission had to throw at them, they could still come through it all right.

He should've known, really, that almost _no_ situation is so bad that it can't get worse.

He reported back to Masaada that everything was proceeding according to plan before settling in to wait for Zeb to regain consciousness, briefly toying with the idea of introducing the same bugs to Masaada's computer that he'd done with the rest of the compound's systems. Ultimately, though, he deemed it too much of a risk. Masaada was no Thrawn, but having given him access to her office, she would easily be able to pinpoint his involvement. Thankfully, it didn't take Zeb all that long to come out of it; not with the little one that ventured into the cell when they were all opened up for the daily community time.

After the unrelenting string of horrors the day had already thrown at them, it was something of a relief to be able to see Zeb smile again, to see him reunite with friends he'd long thought dead. He was able to understand enough of the Lasana to get the gist of what was being said and he had it on good authority that none of the scientists had really bothered to learn the language. Despite the circumstances, watching Zeb walk with his fellow Lasat toward the common area was like watching him be reborn in several little ways. He walked a little taller, squared his shoulders a little more firmly, and the open warmth that he knew his lover was capable of but so very rarely showed on the surface was shining right there in his eyes. He could have gone on watching Zeb's joy for hours...but then Archrem's voice entered in where it wasn't wanted yet again, basically telling the women to go at the fresh meat.

Kallus felt his heart clench yet again as he watched Zeb's eyes dart worriedly around the space that had, just a few short minutes ago, been a place of hope and healing. Not that the situation was truly dangerous...yet...but that such a choice was being forced on him at all...even without anything in his stomach, the whole thing was nauseating to the former Imperial.

In such a crowded space, it was harder for him to get a bead on individual conversation, but he could see the way Zeb firmly shut down his friend. And as the other Lasat gathered close and fell silent to hear one of the guardsman's stories about Zeb, Kallus would have gladly joined in to hear about his lover as a cadet, except he couldn't help noticing when the woman led Zeb away from the gathering.

He _knew._ He knew what was happening, even if he didn't fully want to admit it to himself. Most of his brain understood that this was just the hand they'd been dealt – the situation they were in...that there would be punishment involved if there was no copulation tonight. He could _see_ it wasn't what Zeb wanted in the way he'd tried to push his friend away...and in the pity and sorrow those luminous eyes offered to her as she pulled the thin blanket over them. He _knew_ , but even so, there was still a tiny part of his heart that conceded to jealousy – a small, secret, utterly _petty_ sliver of his mind that wondered if the Lasat was enjoying it. A part of himself that was insecure, that was uncertain of his place in Zeb's heart...a part of himself that he _hated_. Unequivocally. Inescapably. Because he had no right. Because his kriffing _feelings_ had no place here. He knew that small part of him was being foolish, but he just couldn't help himself. It lingered beneath the calm rationality of his spy's mind.

Unlike all the other instances today, though, this one had been Zeb's choice, and it was a choice he could allow his lover the dignity of by looking away as the two Lasat moved together beneath the scant protection the blanket provided them.

 _Zeb...Garazeb Orrelios...my Zeb...whatever it is you want of me when this is over, I swear I will give it. Whether that be forgiveness for a betrayal that_ _ **is**_ _no betrayal...or an apology for what I allowed to happen...or even- leave of your vow to me...to love among your own people...whatever it is you need of me, I will give it and gladly...even if it breaks my heart,_ he vowed silently, his face turned down to the desk he sat at, both to keep his gaze from the security feed and to keep his destroyed expression from being viewed by any security cam that could possibly capture it. He made no sound as he wept, nor allowed his shoulders to tremble with the contained force of the sobs, but he had little doubt it would've been difficult to ignore the tear tracks running down his face. He didn't leave the office until he was certain he'd managed to compose himself to his normal flawless degree.

With community time ended, Kallus began to make his way in the direction of the cell banks, but not before paying a visit to Archrem in his lab, clearly prepping for his next visit to Zeb's cell.

"I'm going in to speak with Spectre Four now. I thought it prudent to warn you to perhaps delay your next sample collection," he told the scientist, his voice not inviting debate.

"Agent Kallus, I cannot delay this. The sooner I'm able to compare sperm count, the more accurate my data shall be," the doctor returned, voice only mildly perturbed as he ran some sort of test on a vial of fluid he had secured in a containment field. Kallus didn't care to think too hard on what that fluid was.

"Spectre Four is in your hands now, Doctor. He has already been sentenced to life imprisonment in this facility, whether or not he is aware of it," Kallus said, even though the mere thought of it brought back the rumblings of his earlier nausea. "You may take _samples_ from him any time you wish. You will have ample opportunity to repeat this experiment or any other you like. But this Lasat and I have been at odds for some time. This is the only opportunity I shall ever have to see the look in his eyes when he understands who it is that has beaten him. I _will not_ be deprived of that," he finished as he turned to go, but just out of the corner of his eye, he saw the scientist shaking his head.

"Gloating, is it, Agent? Well, much good may it do you. Will the rest of us be permitted to observe your _triumph?_ "

"Certainly not. I will not have our meeting on the security cams at all. It could all too easily leak back to the infiltrators."

He noted the way Archrem's shoulders stiffened at that one. "How is that? Their defeat is assured tonight, is it not?"

"How well do you trust your people, Doctor?" Kallus asked him, planting the final seed of discord. "At first, we had assumed that knowledge of the facility had been leaked by one of your bounty hunters, but the glitches your system has been experiencing this last week have clinched it. The rebels have a man on the inside. You have a traitor in your midst, Archrem."

Archrem shook his head slowly as he stared at him. "That- it's impossible."

"Far from it. I will not have this sting ruined by your lack of foresight. If the rebels learn we are wise to their little game, then this entire operation goes up in flames. This particular cell will know they've been made if they see _me_ in Spectre Four's cell. So if it's all the same to you, I _will_ be shutting down the security feed to the cell."

"And the Spectre himself? _He_ won't give you away to his compatriots?" the scientist asked pointedly, crossing his arms over his chest as he surveyed Kallus.

"Oh, it's far too late for that. Their signals have already been given. We have them precisely where we want them. My battle with the Spectres ends tonight," he declared, not waiting for another response before marching from the lab and off into the cell banks.

Most of the Lasat he passed on his way to Zeb's cell were either asleep or preparing to sleep. But there was at least one who was still awake – the one who'd first come to Zeb after he'd regained consciousness.

Zekaru.

Watching the former guardsman out of the corner of his eye, he saw him glare at him as he moved down the corridor, subtly baring his fangs in a growl. Not much feeling up to the act just then, Kallus simply kept his expression neutral.

"What?" Kar challenged him in a quiet snarl. "Can't resist the opportunity to play with the new meat?"

Kallus didn't acknowledge him, simply continued on his way, but before he could round the corner to reach his lover's cell, he heard the other Lasat's voice calling out to him.

"You have _no right,_ Imperial! Do you hear me? Garazeb Orrelios is a better man than you'll ever be!"

 _Zekaru Talbenna...that is truer than you are ever likely to know,_ he thought with a shudder as he rounded the corner. Quickly deactivating the security feed to Zeb's cell, he shut down the laser field that served as the cell door and stepped inside, reactivating the field in its opaque setting to give them more privacy.

Zeb was leaning casually against the back wall of the cell, arms crossed guardedly over his chest as he surveyed him with wary eyes.

"Is it safe?" Zeb asked him.

Kallus nodded. "We're safe."

All in an instant, the facade shattered and Zeb was moving toward him, crossing the cell in only a few strides. Then the Lasat had him in his arms and they were embracing like they'd never let go.

"Zeb," he whispered against his lover's lips as they kissed, his fingers digging into the velvet-fine fur. He nearly collapsed into the feeling of those strong arms around him. "My Zeb."

"Alex," Zeb returned, pressing the name into his skin, returning every desperate caress with one of his own. After a time, their frantic exchange of kisses devolved into Zeb simply rubbing his face against his, even getting a little overzealous and rubbing down onto his neck and chest.

"What- what is this?" Kallus asked after a time. Not that he wasn't enjoying it, but it seemed to go beyond mere embracing. There was clear purpose in it.

"I'm givin' you my scent," Zeb explained as he lowered his forehead to one of Kallus' wrists, rubbing intently against the stiff fabric of his glove for a moment before slipping it off and repeating the gesture with his bare skin.

"I- what?"

"I can't tell the others who you are, so this is the only way I can think of to keep you safe. The other Lasat might not know _why,_ but they'll be able to smell me on you, and that'll at least give 'em pause before anybody does anything stupid. This is dangerous. I _want you safe,_ " he insisted, pressing a kiss to Kal's wrist once he'd finished imparting his scent.

" _Me_ safe?" he repeated incredulously, feeling the heat of his own blush as he looked down at his wrist, _saturated_ in his lover in such an intimate way, yet far beyond his own ability to perceive. "They've only been treating you like a laboratory specimen all day...like an _animal_."

Zeb shrugged. "That's nothing new. Granted, it's never been to this extreme before, but- most of these Imperials...it's just how they think. No gettin' away from it. I knew what I was signin' up for."

"Still..." Kallus trailed off as he pulled his glove back on, holding his wrist close against his heart, "if anyone's in danger here, it's you. What they've _done_ to you-"

"The others have suffered worse," Zeb insisted, reaching out to cup his cheek in one massive hand, the gesture markedly tender given the strength that lay in his hand alone. "Don't worry, _ni alitha._ This'll all be over soon."

"Of course...of course," he said, briefly leaning into the touch as he breathed in a sigh of relief. This moment would have to be enough. It would have to sustain him through to the end of this. There might not be another opportunity for them to speak openly until it was all over. "Are we ready then? Will your people be prepared when the time comes?"

"They will. You can go ahead and give Kanan the word."

"Right," he said, pulling out his comlink and tapping into the necessary frequency. "Spectre One, this is Fulcrum. Do you copy?"

"Yeah, Fulcrum, you got me," the Jedi's voice came back to him. "How's Spectre Four holding up?"

"I'm not dead, Spectre One," Zeb grumbled beside him. "That's pretty much all I got for you."

"I'll take what I can get in this place. So are we go?"

"We are go," Kallus returned with a nod, even though Zeb was the only one there to see it.

"Great. This looks important," Ezra's somewhat tinnier voice came over the comm device, followed in short order by Kanan's quiet laugh.

"Well, this shouldn't take too long. You'll be in position when the call goes out?"

"Absolutely."

"Good. Spectre Six'll be waiting. Spectre One out."

Kallus nodded as he shut down the comlink. "It will be about an hour, then...before I spring my trap on an unsuspecting rebel spy."

"Got anythin' to do between now and then?" Zeb asked him, moving to sit down on the small cot that occupied one of the cell walls.

"Aside from making certain Archrem doesn't stick his sleazy nose in here, no," Kallus answered as he moved to sit beside him. "He'd meant to take another sample from you, you know."

Zeb winced as he pulled him close against his side. "You saw that, then?"

"I did," he whispered in answer as he looked down at their hands, twining his fingers together with Zeb's, just to be able to see them joined. "I swore I would do my utmost...to suffer all of this with you...even if I can never _truly_ \- feel what you feel. Even though you were unconscious, I- I didn't want you to suffer alone. I wanted to be there for you."

"Well," Zeb started with a small chuckle as he nuzzled his head against Kal's, "I wouldn't'a minded showin' off for _you_. Guess we can call it a preview," he said, turning his head to press a kiss to Kal's ear. The former Imperial managed a small smile for him.

"If you would rather that, you will certainly get no argument from me," he said, turning to catch the Lasat in a gentle kiss.

"I would rather. Don't get why that creep'd even _need_ another sample again so soon anyway."

"He wanted to- compare it to the first. He wanted to know what... _sperm count_ would be...after two emissions," he said, forcing the words out past the tangle of ugly emotion in his throat.

"Two? Karabast! How many times did that sleemo g-...make me-"

"Not that," Kal hushed him, not wanting him to have to say it out loud. "The...when you were with your friend...in the common area."

"Oh," Zeb started with a shuddered breath. "You saw that, too?"

"I- that one I looked away from. Because you'd made a choice...because you _chose her,_ it- it felt too much like playing the voyeur."

"Alex-"

"You don't have to say anything," he attempted to head the Lasat off. He didn't think he could _bear_ to hear him apologize for it. "It's just- this place. I know. I understand."

"Alex, I'm sorry-" he tried again.

"No. Please," he cut him off again, pulling away a little. "You don't owe me an apology. You didn't _do anything._ You were a victim in this just as much as she was. Even if- that _wasn't_ the case...even if you chose her because you truly _wanted_ her...I could hardly blame you for that."

He felt the Lasat stiffen in the place beside him, unable to bring himself to look at him when he asked, "What are you sayin'?"

"I'm saying she's one of your own, Zeb. One of your people. I understand your choices of partner were limited in a galaxy with so few Lasat, but- that's not the case anymore. I understand I likely wouldn't have been your first choice under any other circumstances. I know what you swore, but- I could hardly blame you if you would prefer to be with someone of your own kind. You don't have to worry about _my_ feelings. I only want you to be happy... _ni ashkerra_ ," he said, knowing full well there was hurt in his eyes even as he smiled for Zeb. He knew this was no place to have this conversation, but he wanted Zeb to know it, just the same. He wanted _nothing_ so much as he wanted Zeb to be happy – even if he himself became _un_ happy.

The response he got from Zeb for this, though, was a low growl and a look of anger. But these outward displays were somewhat belied by the gentleness in his touch when he took Kallus' face in his hands.

"I'm gonna forgive you that _insult_ to my honor this once, because you're not Lasat and you probably don't know how _much_ of an insult it _was_ , but I didn't choose you as some sort of _consolation prize_. I chose you because I fell in love with you. I chose you because you're brilliant and brave and good. You're my _Tinsana_. I know it's different for humans. I know you try to 'keep things casual' or whatever, but...for a Lasat...the _Tinsahn_ is for life. _Tinsahn_ is always. If that's not what you want, that's fine, but I don't want you thinkin' I made you a vow with less than my whole heart."

For several minutes, all Kallus could manage to do was stare at the Lasat, not really knowing what to say. But when he felt the burn of tears behind his eyes, he immediately moved to pull him into a kiss, not wanting him to see those tears. Because really? Crying twice in one day? What the kriffing hells had come over him?

"I'm sorry," he whispered against Zeb's lips after a time, keeping their foreheads pressed together. "I know this is- neither the time nor place. I just...you've been through so much today-"

"We both have," Zeb shushed him. "But...before...I guess you thought I was tryin' to apologize for what happened. I wasn't. I was just sorry you had to go through all that on your own. Besides, you were right."

Kallus scrubbed at his face as he pulled back from the Lasat, the effort to wipe away the evidence of his emotion probably futile, but he was at least going to make an attempt.

"About what- was I right?"

"I literally didn't do anything," Zeb explained with a teasing smirk. "Tiri told me it was the only way to dissuade the others, so she just sat on my lap and we moved around a bit. Must'a worked pretty well if we even had _you_ fooled. Big bag ISB agent. Though...I guess we can mark that one up to you havin' a personal connection to the situation," he finished, wiping away the last of the tears from Kallus' face.

Kallus gave a pained, self-deprecating laugh as he bumped his head against his lover's chest. "Well, it seems I've outed myself as the class one fool. Perhaps I ought to save us all the trouble and never doubt you again."

"Yeah, maybe," Zeb agreed, lifting Kal's face by the chin to look him in the eye. "Gonna need you to believe if we're gonna get the rest of the way through this in one piece."

"Then that will be my promise to you," he returned, the small smile moving across his face with an unexpected ease. "I will never doubt again."

"Good," Zeb said, a tiny thread of _hunger_ briefly showing in his returning smile. Then they were kissing again, and if they hadn't been sitting down already, Kallus felt confident it was a kiss that would've left him weak in the knees.

Left panting, he whispered heatedly against his lover's lips, "You really don't need to reassure me more than that. My ego is not so fragile as _that._ "

"Who said anythin' about reassurin' _you?_ " Zeb growled back, hands trailing lightly but fiercely along his sides. "I know we're not on cam right now, but part of me just wants to show these kriffin' sleemos what _real_ sex is."

Kallus trembled with longing with every press of the Lasat's clawed fingers against his body, feeling the heat of him even through his uniform. Even so, he attempted to bely the responses of his body with his words. "Sympathetic as I am to the desire, this is- _truly_ not the right time for the- tension between us to just- _burst,_ " he groaned, immediately regretting his choice of word. Disgusting as it was, he'd been surrounded by entirely too much procreation this week.

Zeb groaned in kind, lowering his lips to Kallus' neck and mouthing his next words into the little skin he could get at. "Karabast. You can't just _say_ things like that, Kal. This is gonna be- hard enough to stop...as it is."

"Don't- _nhg..._ don't start something you can't finish...Captain Orrelios," he warned the Lasat, even as he leaned back against the cell wall, each breath heavier than the last.

"Mm...we'll call it mission-critical then," Zeb argued, only half-joking by this point. "After all, this...the scent can set in _deeper_...if you're more open to it," he said, briefly gripping the former Imperial's hip tightly in one hand.

"I'm sure it could," he returned, his own hand trailing up to grip at the back of the former guardsman's neck. "But we're not going to do this here, Zeb, and you and I both know that."

Zeb sighed as he leaned heavily against him, returning to simple nuzzling. "Yeah, you're right. We can keep that for later. Wouldn't mind stayin' like this, though. Things are bound to get ugly pretty soon."

"I have little doubt," Kallus conceded as he snuggled closer against his lover, wanting to take in as much of this as he could in the little time they had left. For a moment, he considered telling Zeb that he'd identified Arkalia's parents, but then thought better of it. So much had happened already. He didn't need to be putting _more_ strain on the Lasat. So they remained just like that, cuddled tightly together, just _being_ with one another – until the moment the call came through from Masaada and the act had to begin again.

"I doubt we'll have the opportunity to speak again before this is over," Kallus said as he disentangled himself from Zeb. "If all goes according to plan, at least, and I shall do my utmost to see that it does."

"So I'll just have to send you off proper," Zeb said before pulling him into one last kiss – deep, insistent.

A promise.

"Whatever happens out there... _ni Tinsana_ ," Zeb whispered against him, "just don't forget... _L'ashkerrir an._ "

" _La sylf orror,_ " he returned in Lasana, and echoed the sentiment one last time as he stood from the cot. "I love you. I _will_ see you again." He took in Zeb's expression at the last, the tender look tinged with worry. But before either of them could say anything more, he was gone, sweeping back out into the corridor. Because if he didn't leave now, he was legitimately afraid he might not leave _ever_.

Making sure to reactivate the security protocols on Zeb's cell before walking away, Kallus had nearly managed to forget the challenge he'd been issued on his way in. But as he headed back the way he'd come, it seemed his challenger wasn't prepared to _let_ him forget.

"Might wanna fix that hair," Kar snarled at him as he passed by his cell, stopping Kallus dead in his tracks.

The Lasat was glaring vibro-shivs at him from the back of his cell, and there was nothing subtle about the way he was baring his fangs at him this time.

"I don't know what you did to him, but I don't suppose I have to guess. You're just as much a pig as the rest of 'em. Think you can take whatever you want," the former guardsman snarled as he moved through the cell, coming to stand right up against the laser barrier that kept him imprisoned. It took every last ounce of Kallus' considerable self-control not to take a step back. "Zeb's my friend. There was a time we were close as brothers. Whatever you did to him, I'm gonna make you pay for it. When I get out of here...I'm going to kill you myself," he vowed.

"Bold words," Kallus said quietly, barely managing to maintain a haughty sneer. "I will look forward to seeing you try."

"Imperial scum!" the Lasat growled at the last, snarling after him as he hurried away. Kar could certainly prove to be a problem later. Hopefully Zeb's insistence on scenting him would serve its purpose.

Checking in on the installation's security logs to make certain that Jidu had arrived and started in on her work, he gave her as much time as he could before heading surreptitiously into the life support control center where she was working. When he came up behind her, he was careful not to press the bayonet of his bo-rifle too harshly against her back, lest any sudden movements cause her to accidentally injure herself on the blade.

"Don't move...rebel," he snarled quietly in his best threatening voice.

Jidu didn't turn to face him at first, but she let her hands fall still on the console she'd been working at. The first front she went for was fear. "What? Sir, I- what are you _talking_ about?"

"Don't play games with me, scum. Even _my_ patience has limits," he snapped, playing his role to the hilt. "Hands in the air."

Jidu complied slowly, adding a tiny tremor to her body for good measure. Just as slowly, she got to her feet. "This- Sir...I really don't know what you're talking about. They just sent me down to have a look at the system. A Class 4 alert is _serious_. We don't have time to-"

"Don't speak again," he snapped at her. At his nod, two stormtroopers stepped out of the surrounding darkness of the control center. One of them placed Jidu in binders, turning her roughly to face him. Since her time in the bay earlier, she had exchanged the patch on her left eye for a lens in her right one, obscuring her Allurian heritage. "Now, let's see about your rebel friends."

"You're wasting your time," she said, glowering at him with defiant eyes before being shoved to her knees in front of him.

"Am I now? We'll see," he said, training his weapon on her head and calling out into the darkened space. "What do you say, Spectres? Are we wasting our time? If so, perhaps I had best _shoot_ the girl and have done with it. Is that what you want?" he demanded, priming the bo-rifle to fire.

"Like I said, you're wasting your time," Jidu insisted firmly, and the tiny twinge of desperation in her voice was a credit to her acting – as if she really were trying to covertly convince someone listening not to intervene. "We're the only ones here."

"I _know_ you're here, _Spectres,_ " he hissed, spitting the word like an ugly curse. "Show yourselves, or I put a blaster bolt through this girl's head."

"Better do it now, then," Jidu told him. "I'm on my own. Nobody's going to rescue me."

"You have until the count of one to reveal yourselves," Kallus warned. "Five...four..."

"I'm not kidding. It was just the two of us."

"Three...two...o-"

" _No! STOP!_ " Ezra's desperate voice suddenly rose above the quiet hum of the instrument panels as he rushed out into the open. "I'm here. I'm right here. Don't shoot her."

"Ezra, _no,_ " Jidu whispered as if in despair.

"That's better," Kallus said with a gloating chuckle, sneering down his nose at the young Jedi. "I knew you didn't have it in you to let someone else die in your stead. Now roll your lightsaber to me, nice and slow," he warned him. "Any sudden movements and your friend dies."

"Ezra, don't do it-" Jidu started to warn before one of the troopers bashed the side of her head with his blaster. _Hard._

"Quiet, scum!" the trooper snapped at her as she dropped to the floor, dazed, a lightly bleeding gash in the side of her head.

"Stop! Look. Here. It's okay. I give," Ezra said before slowly rolling his weapon across to Kallus. While the troopers kept their blasters trained on the downed spy, the agent lowered his own weapon briefly to pick up the lightsaber, examining it a moment before hooking it onto his belt.

"The weapon of a Jedi. So where is your master, little one?"

"What? Think I couldn't bust in here on my own?" Ezra challenged as one of the troopers moved in to place him in binders.

"Oh, I _know_ you couldn't," Kallus taunted him. "The other is here somewhere. He is the one we really want. Now where is he?"

Rather than engage with him, Ezra just fell into a sullen silence, glaring at him in defiance as he moved to his knees beside Jidu. Kallus shook his head.

"So it's to be like _that_ , is it? All right. Fine. I suppose we'll just have to do this the hard way. Take them to holding ce-"

"No," Masaada's imperious voice suddenly interrupted his order. Looking toward the entrance, he saw the colonel moving into the control center, her steps slow but confident, unhindered by her lack of vision.

"Colonel?"

"You have done well in capturing the insurgents, Agent Kallus, but if we are to bring _all_ of them in successfully, we will have to use harsher methods."

"Such as?" Kallus asked, keeping his tone even. This had _not_ been part of the plan.

Masaada drew out her comlink, every inch the commanding officer as she sent out a call.

"Archrem?"

"Yes, Colonel?" the voice on the other end responded, sending a chill down Kallus' spine.

"Have Unit 39 sent to the control center. And bring Subjects Aurek 224 and 109 to me as well."

"Right away, Colonel."

Zeb. Aurek 224 was _Zeb's_ number.

"What is it you're thinking, Colonel?" Kallus asked her.

"Any plan they still have is likely focused on the control center. As you said, it was their plan to force us into evacuation. If they still mean to carry that out, it must be done from here. So if the Jedi wishes to accomplish his mission and save his friends, he will have to come to us."

Kallus raised both eyebrows, as if in interest over the notion. But beneath the calm exterior, worry was beginning to churn. Masaada was correct in noting that Kanan would need to get back in here to get things going. If Jidu had progressed far enough in her sabotage, the life support system would begin to break down eventually, but he was now no longer certain that that eventually would come soon enough for Zeb's sake. Whatever the colonel had in mind...would he be able to just stand aside and allow it to happen? When he glanced at Ezra, it was to see the same worry beginning to simmer beneath the surface.

 _Can we really do this?_

 _We_ _ **have**_ _to. Otherwise_ _ **no one's**_ _getting out of here alive._

Still, with no other way of letting Kanan know what was happening, Kallus surreptitiously signaled the knight on his comlink and left the channel open, hoping he might hear what was happening and figure it out from there.

It didn't take long for Archrem and a cadre of stormtroopers to march Zeb and his friend from the common area into the control center, hands bound. His already round eyes went a little wider as he surveyed the scene, partly in feigned worry that his friends had been captured, but more in real worry that they hadn't yet been taken to a holding cell.

"Not what you were expecting, I gather," Masaada taunted the former guardsman. Rather than respond, Zeb just growled at her. "No matter. One must always be adaptable, eh? _Garazeb Orrelios?_ "

Kallus kept his expression neutral at his former commander's revelation. Of course Archrem had deduced Zeb's Orrelios heritage, but how had she identified him personally? Had she really been listening to the prisoners' talk _that_ intently? Even with all the system breakdowns?

"You- know this one, Colonel?" he asked her, gaze shifting between her and Zeb.

"I certainly wasn't going to forget the last voice I heard before auditory became my primary sensory input. I suppose you wouldn't have dealt with _Captain_ Orrelios directly during the siege, but he was their last military authority after General Onzaya was killed. He held the palace until the very end. So I suppose if any would've survived that last explosion, it would've been him."

"Yeah," Zeb fired back with a low growl. "Same explosion that burned your eyes outta your skull, if I remember right."

Masaada laughed in response. "This one knows me. As I know him...to survive when _so many others_ died...to walk free while those who remained were enslaved. This petty rebellion really is all you have left, isn't it, _Captain,_ " she mocked with painful emphasis on his title.

While Zeb didn't respond to her in words, Kallus could see the flash of abject _anguish_ in his lover's eyes. He didn't imagine it would've been noticeable to anyone who didn't know the Lasat, but he _did_ know him, and he knew how deeply Zeb felt things. That tiny flicker of quiet pain was only the surface of a soul-deep well of sorrow and guilt; and much though he wanted to reach out to his love, to comfort him and take that pain away, he kept himself in check. He reminded himself that the only way to protect them all now was to maintain the facade.

"Ah, well," the colonel continued when none of the rebels said anything. "I suppose it doesn't matter much. At the very least, the infamous Spectre Cell is about to meet its final fate. Tell me, Orrelios, where is your Jedi friend now?"

Zeb didn't even give her the courtesy of a proper 'no'. He only continued that low, threatening growling. Masaada shook her head.

"Stubborn as ever. But I suppose I know Lasat too well to think you would answer me, even under threat to your life," she said, nodding. And whatever the gesture meant, one of the troopers took it as signal to level a blaster at the side of Zeb's head. It took all of Kallus' control just to resist flinching.

Zeb was just as unflinching facing down his captors. "Yeah. You do know Lasat well enough, but you don't know _me_ at all if you think I'll _ever_ betray him. So why are you even tryin'?"

"You may be willing to throw away your _own_ life for your cause. I would expect no less of a _Rrasjan_ captain. But what about the life of your compatriot?"

At her words, another of the troopers shoved the Lasat woman to her knees, aiming for the back of her head. They all knew it would take little more than the whispered breath of a command for the white-clad soldier to end her life.

But the guardswoman herself, Shantiri, was calm and still. There was only dignity in her gaze as she looked up at Zeb – dignity and devotion.

" _Okorre,_ " she began quietly, her voice utterly unwavering, " _La san araz an s'ahn kallat. Gar La sova sir an nel Jan Tallan araz valli. Benu Inkana Shalm san kerra nali'an,_ " she declared, lowering her head before her captain. A pained shudder passed through Zeb's powerful frame at her words.

Masaada actually chuckled at the Lasat warrior's solemn words. "Perhaps I don't speak your animal's tongue, 109, but I _am_ familiar with the _Benu Inkana_. Agent Kallus, do you know it?"

" _Benu Inkana,_ " Kallus repeated slowly, trying to muddle the words, as if he hadn't understood perfectly what Tiri had said. "It means...Master of Breath?"

"Just so. The Lasat have some very- particular ideas when it comes to death and killing. They see it as honor, I know, but it's also a large part of how we've been able to force their compliance in all this."

"What...what does it mean?" Ezra couldn't seem to stop himself from asking, gaze darting between Zeb and Tiri.

Again, Masaada chuckled mockingly. "Well, little Jedi, murderers and killers are two different things to a Lasat. To them, the only time you have a right to kill another is if that other is your enemy. If their continued existence is a true threat to your own. Anything else is murder, and that is blasphemous in the eyes of a Lasat. You may choose death for yourself, but you have no right to choose it for anyone else. When you threaten a Lasat female with death if she refuses to breed, she would only too happily choose her own death; but if you threaten the life of the male you've chosen for her, ah, _then_ you have crossed a line. If she still refuses, it means her choice will lead to death for the male. This she cannot allow, because she has no right to make a decision that will end his life. So she spreads her legs for him and they both continue to be of service to our Empire. This is much the same. If the captain will not tell us where the Jedi is hiding, his choice will result in death for the female. And, if he is no monster, this is something he cannot allow."

"But the _Benu Inkana_ is different. Isn't it?" Kallus tried to point out, not wanting to see the Lasat defiled any further than they already had been. It was good and noble and honorable – to choose not to kill another living being – and Zaniva and the Empire had taken that pure intention and twisted it into a means of coercion.

"Certainly. The _Benu Inkana_ is a right given under their laws. It is the right one grants to another to _choose_. To choose your death without fear of shame or damnation. It was not uncommon, I believe, for members of the High Honor Guard to grant their captain the power of _Benu Inkana_. So 109 grants her captain the right to choose her death."

"So what is it you hope to gain from this then?" Kallus asked, keeping up his hardened exterior even as he watched the war rage within his lover's heart.

"109 has given, but will 224 receive? It is a difficult thing to shake, the notion that he has _no right_ to choose her death."

And for a moment, Kallus was afraid that Zeb really might not be able to. For which he certainly wouldn't have been able to blame him. Tiri was friend and fellow guard, after all. A friend that, until today, Zeb had thought dead. Could he really be expected to sentence her to death so soon after getting her back?

 _Think, Kallus. Think! There hasn't been a situation yet you haven't been able to_ _ **think**_ _your way out of. Come on!_

"I'm afraid you're wasting your time," Kallus started when he saw the decision settle in Zeb's eyes. He had no idea where he was heading, but he needed to buy Kanan time to do- whatever it was he planned on doing. "These Spectres possess an almost fanatical devotion to their cause. They're not likely to betray it. If you think it best to stick this out here, we would do better to just wait the Jedi out."

Shrugging primly, Masaada sighed. "Perhaps you're right. Can't afford to be wasting our raw materials after all. But we have other methods to attempt in the meantime. Doctor, if you would be so kind."

"Oh, it will be my pleasure, Colonel," the scientist said as he came up beside Tiri, hand reaching for the same spot on her neck Kallus had seen him stimulate on Zeb before. Shuddering in barely concealed disgust at the point of contact, the former guardswoman began to purr almost immediately, her body plainly too used to the stimulation to react any other way.

"What are you doin'?" Zeb demanded, voice barely more than a growl.

"You like this one, don't you?" Archrem taunted him as he continued his stroking. "Did she feel _good?_ How did it feel to bury yourself in Lasat flesh after so many years?"

"Stop it," Zeb growled, low and dangerous.

Tiri squeezed her eyes shut, shame rippling across her face as a tiny, animalistic _whimper_ escaped her mouth. Whatever her own will might have been, she couldn't seem to help moving into the touch.

"You can smell her now...can't you...Aurek 224?" Archrem said slowly, fingers luxuriating in whatever pleasure point he was stimulating in the warrior. "Smell that slick heat. Does it call to you? To that hindbrain-most part of you? Her womb is empty. You can _fill it._ "

" _Leave her alone!_ " Zeb snarled, thrashing his head back and forth in an effort to shake off whatever thick scent must be permeating the air. Never mind what it was clearly doing to _him._

"She has borne eight healthy offspring, has 109. She is _very_ fertile. Why shouldn't she bear _your_ children, too?"

Something inside of Shantiri seemed to _break_ at the mention of her children. Tears slid down her face, quiet sobs mixing with her moans as she writhed beneath Archrem's touch.

" _Okorre_... _zakyre_ ," she tried again, pleading now. " _Benu Inkana. B- Benu- Inkana. La obrir Benu Inkana. La or'velkir enver siv mayka. Na soller elysh, ni okorre._ "

"Tiri'ka," Zeb said softly, eyes bright with anguish.

" _Zakyre...na allir...na allir...tef na allir...afil...orra!_ "

But Zeb shook his head, steeling himself once again to shake off the scent that was tormenting him. Then he looked down at his friend, and even though Kallus had never known the Lasat to pray, his next words sounded very much like a prayer.

" _Ki ashvyri bargir gal bar aniri bog, keeraw sylf gorir afil an,_ " he said, voice gentle as he could manage. " _L'avir Ashla veleni an gar gal solleri an karran damat gara keera. Vas ah sorrer an astyr revat falna bogtyl._ "

 _When the stars fail and the night grows dark, the way will diverge before you. I pray the Ashla guides you true and gives you the wisdom to walk the right path. May she grant you the strength to hold back the darkness._

Tiri nodded slowly as she looked up at him, repeating the last words on a broken breath. " _Rever falna bogtyl._ "

 _Hold back the darkness._

Tiri was at least spared the indignity of the scientist finishing her when two more scientists entered the control center, guiding a large, eerily coffin-shaped device between them. Kallus felt his stomach drop at the sight of it, fairly certain he knew what it was. But he had to make sure...just in case.

"Is that- a _full_ sensory deprivation unit?" he asked no one in particular, gaze flitting to Zeb as he spoke, only to feel his throat tighten at the single flash of fear in the Lasat's eyes.

"Yes. Quite the beauty, isn't she?" Archrem returned as he stepped back from Tiri. "We have found the use of it to be a very...effective punishment for our subjects."

"I think perhaps some time in there will loosen our little friend's tongue," Masaada commented. What was visible of her expression was largely grim, but there was the faintest hint of a smirk teasing around the corners of her mouth.

"No! _Don't!_ " Ezra pleaded as he shot to his feet. "You can't do this!"

"I see no reason why not, little Jedi. After all, your Lasat friend is ours to do with what we will now. The only way you'll stop this from happening is if you tell us where your master is."

With Ezra and the colonel's back and forth, Kallus almost didn't notice Archrem. Not until it was too late. His attention darted to the scientist just as he came up behind Zeb, plunging a syringe into the back of his neck and emptying its contents into his system. Zeb snarled in pain and shock, just missing ramming the scientist with a shoulder as he pulled back from him. Panting, the Lasat growled at the Imperial, "What did you do to me?"

"Oh, just a little hallucinogen to make your time in the unit more...interesting. It should kick in in a few minutes."

This was too much. It was just too much to ask Zeb to endure this. Though Kallus managed to maintain his stern countenance throughout, he supposed Zeb must have seen the thoughts rushing through his head just by looking in his eyes, because through the angry, fearful expression he kept on his own face, he communicated his own thoughts.

 _Don't,_ the Lasat's ever-luminous eyes seemed to say. _If you show your hand now, my people will be trapped here...forever._

" _Rever falna bogtyl,_ " he said as the troopers herded him toward the open unit with their blasters. Most would've likely interpreted his tone as defiance, but Kallus knew it for the reassurance it was.

 _Hold back the darkness._

He kept his rigid glare in place as Zeb was half-forced into the device, trying to convey his promise with his own eyes.

 _I will get you out of there. I_ _ **will.**_ _No matter what it takes._

He felt something inside of him twist with fear and guilt at the last look of fused resolve and terror in his lover's eyes just before the unit was sealed.

"Why the hallucinogen...if I may ask?" he forced himself to question his former colleagues, struggling to maintain some semblance of normalcy.

"Sensory deprivation is an effective, even _elegant_ means of torture," Archrem began to explain with a twisted sneer. "But that effectiveness only comes with the passage of _days_. The longest a subject was confined and still managed to retain quantifiable sanity was two standard weeks. We do not have weeks to spend on Aurek 224. The hallucinogen speeds the process. It deteriorates the mind at a quicker rate. I have little doubt our dear Orrelios will be much more malleable after only a few hours of this."

"Effective indeed," Kallus said distantly, gaze flitting once more to the two younger rebels – to Jidu, barely conscious and still bleeding on the floor, and to Ezra, standing beside her, wrists bound and fairly _simmering_ with helpless rage. While Kallus was just as angry as the young Jedi, he managed to keep that anger concealed beneath his schooled espionage expression, the only thing keeping him in control the thought of the countless lives that were counting on his ability to maintain it.

But then he heard Zeb cry out.

It was a tiny, strangled sound, but to hear such a sound come from the Lasat at all...it shattered something in him. Only years and years of training kept his facade from shattering right along with it. And as the time continued to tick away, those small, plaintive sounds gradually began to turn into screams.

" _Ashla silir an,_ " he heard Shantiri praying quietly. " _Ashla rever an. Velenir an azare bar._ "

"You can't do this," Ezra whispered over and over again, his frame practically vibrating with rage. "You _can't do this_."

The boy's words echoed the refrain thrumming in Kallus' heart. He was an inch from breaking, plan or no plan, because Zeb was in pain...suffering. Zeb was screaming and he couldn't bear it anymore and-

But he was thankfully spared having to learn if he _could_ bear it, as that was the moment an alarm began to blare throughout the compound.

"What is this?" Masaada demanded sharply, turning her attention to Jidu. "Girl, what did you do?"

The only response the young spy could muster was to spit in the colonel's direction. Moving to the console she'd initially been working at, Kallus tapped into the system, relief and mild terror intertwining in his body as he observed what must surely be Kanan's handiwork.

"I don't- think this is her doing," he reported, his voice tense. "The system is showing- _hull breach_. Hull breach in several locations."

"The Jedi is mad!" Archrem snarled. "It must be a system error. Surely he would realize such a drastic action would kill _all_ of us. Not just his enemies."

"I would not put it past him," Kallus growled in answer, secret glee bubbling just beneath the surface. "I have seen them attempt worse insanity than this."

Before either Archrem or Masaada could say more, a message suddenly came through the console – a holographic image of Kanan and Zekaru.

"Hello, control center. This is Kanan Jarrus, Jedi knight. I hope you're receiving me."

"Jedi," Kallus snarled in response.

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Agent Kallus. Should've known you had something to do with this."

"What have you done?!" Kallus demanded, summoning up his righteous fury from his earliest days of hunting the Jedi.

"You didn't leave me with much choice in the matter, so I had to improvise. I let the ocean in. We've forced a few pressure seals all around the compound and it's flooding fast. Your emergency flood gates'll hold back the water for a little while, but not very long."

"How do we know this isn't some Jedi trick?" Kallus pressed.

"You'd risk that? Really? When you've got _maybe_ a few minutes to decide? Fine. Be my guest. As for myself, I'd like to live, so I'm hopping a ride out when the emergency vehicles show up."

"Aurek 246," Archrem called out to Kar, "is _this_ how you would repay us? For having your lives spared? For keeping you safe here while the rest of the children of Lasan _burned?_ "

"We would repay you for years of slavery and torture, Imperial _dog!_ " the former guardsman snarled. "If you suggest we should thank you for so _hideously_ violating the bonds that exist among us, you're even more insane than I thought. This is _our_ choice, as one people – our _Benu Inkana_. Freedom or death!" he declared before Kanan cut the connection.

In the same instant the connection was cut, Ezra used those few precious moments of distraction to his advantage. While the troopers had been focusing on Kanan's doomsday announcement, he had shifted to allow Jidu to unlock his binders, permitting him to summon one of their blasters to his hand and quickly taking out a good chunk of them.

"Look out! He's loose!" one of them shouted almost before anyone else had realized what was happening. Feigning a look of angered shock, Kallus leapt back from the console as if moving clear of Ezra's line of fire. Except the movement landed him directly in front of the sens-dep unit, leaving him completely exposed and hoping the young Jedi would realize that the move had been deliberate – that he was telling him not to fire on the unit.

With an enraged roar, Tiri attacked her guards, swiping one aside with her massive foot and headbutting the other. And as she lashed out, Ezra used whatever power it was he possessed to force Kallus up against the containment unit, keeping him pinned there. Though that strange, invisible power kept him trapped, Ezra didn't use it to hurt him. Kallus just pretended to struggle for breath as the padawan drew closer, looking to him for an explanation through narrowed eyes.

"Don't...shoot it," he hissed under his breath, the exchange just barely concealed from the sight of the other Imperials. "Code locked."

A full sensory deprivation unit like this one was environmentally sealed and self-contained. It had to be in order to create complete sensory deprivation. But the system that would keep the victim suspended was a delicate network of calibrations, tapped fully into each neuron of the brain. Simply blasting the unit's locking mechanism would open it, certainly, but the sudden destruction of such a complex neural interface would obliterate not only the network, but the mind it was attached to as well. If Ezra fired on the device, he could very well kill Zeb without meaning to.

Nodding once in understanding, Ezra used his power to cast Kallus aside. Compared with previous encounters, he knew the young Jedi had made an effort to soften the blow, but there was only so much one could do to _gently_ throw one's opponent against a wall. Kallus lay still, pretending he'd been knocked out by the impact while listening to what was happening.

"Drop the blaster or your friend dies!" Masaada barked at Ezra.

" _Don't!_ Don't," Ezra started, first in panic, then a little more in control, the words followed by the sound of a blaster dropping to the floor.

"I swear to you, Schader Masaada, if you _dare_ to hurt my captain-" Tiri started to threaten.

"I will have no threats from _you,_ 109\. A Jedi bratling throws a few fancy tricks around and suddenly you have the _nerve_ to defy me? No," the colonel said, her voice going strangely soft. "You will die here with him. Archrem, where's the pup's lightsaber?"

"Still with Kallus."

"Bring it to me."

He couldn't prevent the theft of the lightsaber and still maintain his pretense, so he had to allow it, all while utilizing a breath control technique that lowered his pulse beat, making it seem like he'd been injured worse than he actually had been in the crash. Archrem did check, but Kallus wasn't surprised when the scientist made no move to help him. He simply scurried back to Masaada to surrender the weapon. Then he heard the sounds of the sens-dep unit being rushed from the room with the retreating scientists.

"Fitting end for a Jedi apprentice, that your master's blunder should lead to your own demise. We'll see if he's fool enough to come for you. Seal them inside," Masaada ordered.

Kallus waited to hear the sound of the blast doors closing and locking before sitting up and shaking himself off. Almost immediately, he heard an angry snarl.

"The agent's still alive," Tiri warned the others before stalking deliberately toward him, her hands freed from their binders and ready to wring his neck.

"Hey! Wait! Don't!" Ezra protested.

"Not- what you think," Jidu's weak voice joined in.

Kallus didn't get to his feet as the Lasat female bore down on him. He only held up his hands in supplication, more than a little relieved to see her stop short as her nostrils twitched.

"He- he gave you...his _scent?_ " the warrior muttered in confused shock.

" _E- eri,_ " he returned in Lasana as he shifted to his knees before her, keeping his hands up. " _Garazeb...ul san ni Tinsana._ "

Tiri's eyes flared wide in shock and anger. " _An?_ _ **Harresh?**_ _Mallana nis lasaht? Sav or'velkir sat. Sultir an rokir k'in san rallat astal Tinsahn Keerahn?_ "

" _La sultir. Garazeb Orrelios...ul...na solla ni zash,_ " he struggled to explain, looking desperately up at her. They didn't have _time_ for this. Zeb _needed_ them.

But the former guardswoman only offered him a skeptical glare. " _Gal an masir an san vosaryl ashkerra'ul?_ "

Kallus shook his head. " _Orra. La vas_ _ **orror**_ _masir sav. Tan...sav sorr bennan_ _ **ul**_ _,_ " he answered, struggling just a little with the guttural, rolled r's.

"It's okay," Ezra tried to reassure her as he moved closer. "He really is with us."

Tiri continued to stare down at him for several more moments, assessing. But, ultimately, she sighed and shook her head, switching back to Basic. "He wasn't joking about a man on the inside. And an _Imperial_ for a Bondmate. Well, they always said Captain Orrelios was a bit crazy. I can see why he couldn't tell us."

"On that subject," Kallus continued as he slowly got to his feet, being careful not to startle the Lasat, "no chance we might still be on cam?" he asked Jidu.

"None. Security and surface communication are down by now," she responded, though her voice was still low as she drew herself into a sitting position. "Though...who's to say how much it matters? With us being trapped in here."

"That won't be a problem," Kallus reassured them. "I can easily slice any code they could put on that door. Just thought it might be best to give them a head start."

"Do we have time for that?" Ezra pressed. "They've got Zeb. We can't just let them walk away with him. Without my lightsaber, I-"

"You got by for years enough on Lothal without a lightsaber. I'm quite certain you can manage another hour," Kallus tried to reassure him, though he wasn't wholly able to help the wry tone of his voice as he moved to have a look at the lockpad. "I'll get it back to you when I get Zeb out."

"And how do you plan to do that?" Tiri asked him.

"Plan? _What_ plan?" he returned brusquely, continuing his work. "The plans we had have all gone wrong. My only _plan_ now is to see as many people out of this place alive as I possibly can. Get in touch with Kanan. Let him know what's happened."

"So, Kanan, I assume this place really _is_ going to be flooded with massive amounts of water before too long?" Ezra asked over his comlink.

"Yeah, kinda had to improvise on that one. But hey, I can't imagine anyone's gonna be sorry to see this place go."

"No. Preferably not with _us inside it,_ though," Ezra pointed out.

"Then we just won't be here when it floods. Where are you?"

"Still in the control center. They locked us in. Masaada took my lightsaber. Kanan...they've got Zeb."

"What do you mean?" the voice at the other end of the comm asked after a moment of bated silence.

"They still have him trapped in that sens-dep unit," Kallus called over his shoulder. "They'll try to use him as a hostage while they make their escape."

"Kriffing hells," the knight growled. "Zekaru and Alreitha went to oversee the evacuation of their own people. We did manage to come up with _that_ much of a plan before unleashing the kath hounds. I'm heading toward you now. I'll get you out."

"No need," Kallus noted calmly as the door slid open, though his outward calm was utterly unlike the panic roiling beneath the surface. "You three should go assist with the evacuation. The emergency vehicles will be here soon."

"Like hells. We're gonna help you get Zeb back," Ezra argued.

"Really?" Kallus asked, turning back to look at Ezra. "How is it Jidu's getting to the docking bay then?"

"You don't need to worry about me. I can-" the young spy started to say as she made an attempt to stand, but groaned in pain as she went back down. Ezra hurried back to her side.

"They will need as much help as they can get with this evacuation. There's bound to be chaos," Kallus told the boy. "You will be needed in the docking bay. Kanan and I can handle getting Zeb back."

Ezra didn't argue, but he did give Kallus a long look as he helped Jidu stand. "And you plan to do that without blowing your cover?"

"Somehow," he said quietly, more to himself than to the boy as he looked away from him. He was no longer certain he _could_ pull this off without blowing his cover, but he was going to do everything in his power to _try._ There was still so much he had to do...so much he had to make up for...

"Well...don't try _too_ hard," Ezra told him, giving him another pointed look as he helped Jidu by. "Zeb's gonna kill us if we let you do something heroic and stupid."

Kallus raised an eyebrow at the young Jedi as he passed him. "So you Jedi are allowed to be heroic and stupid and we defectors are _not?_ Is that what I'm hearing?"

"Course you're _allowed_. Anybody's allowed, but you're also family. So I gotta tell you not to die. You know how it is," Ezra said, nodding at him once before heading off.

"Give them all nine hells," Jidu called over her shoulder. Then they were gone.

"I ought to go with you," Shantiri said as she came to stand beside him. "Zeb is my captain, Lasan or no."

"Be that as it may, I would not risk any more lives than are necessary in this. This place will be completely flooded before long and there will be little time to waste," he told her. "I promise I will get him back."

"I know that bo-rifle," she said, and if she was looking at him, he didn't know, because he couldn't bring himself to look at her. "I can see it...even through your modifications. Avari was my mentor. You killed him."

Kallus felt something in his chest tighten at her words – that nameless old warrior he had fought that day on Lasan, whose weapon he still carried. "I...I have never- known his name. But I will honor it. Know that it was not my wish to kill him."

"I know that," she returned, her voice calm and composed. "I can also see that you earned the right to take up that weapon. He wouldn't have given it to you if you'd fought any less than honorably that day."

He couldn't wholly help the small tremor of relief that passed through him at that, even though he still felt a twinge of sorrow for what could never truly be made right. "He told me- that I had the heart of a warrior...that I mustn't let them take it away from me."

Tiri gave a pained, bitter laugh at that one. "That sounds like him. Don't let him down," she said before heading off in the same direction Ezra and Jidu had gone.

XxX

No one was here.

Not even him.

If his stint in the sens-dep helmet had been like a brief taste of oblivion, this was like being plunged deep into a vast ocean of it. He had nothing, nothing to reassure him of the continued existence of the world around him. He was cut off from sight and sound and scent, thrust into a void of absolute darkness and silence.

This time he was even stripped of his ability to _feel_ anything. There was no whisper of air through his fur, no feeling of cold against his skin, no reassuring presses from the merciful hands of his friends.

He had nothing. He was alone. It was like his physical being had been stripped away, leaving him nothing more than a naked mind, and whatever drug Archrem had introduced was already starting to wreak havoc on that mind. With nothing else to make up his reality, all he had to hold onto were the images in his head...

...and those were quickly beginning to warp.

The last image he had of Kal was the stern Imperial facade with the tiny spark of _fear_ deep in his amber eyes. But as the moment replayed itself in his head over and over again, those eyes seemed to spark fire.

And that fire poured outward, spilling into the destruction of his people...

...a city on fire...Lasat rendered living into ash and smoke...young and old alike...all of them screaming...

He could see his new family wreathed in those flames...Hera's warm smile...the wry tilt of Kanan's head...Sabine's mischievous smirk...Ezra's cocky grin...the crinkle of Rex's eyes in one of his rare laughs...Arkalia's tiny, precious features...Kal's eyes...those darkly burning embers that carried ferocity, sorrow, faith, and love...all of it...all of it burning and twisting into smoke.

 _NO!_

 _I can't- lose another family. I_ _ **can't!**_

But he had to watch them die anyway. Hera shot down in her fighter...Kanan and Ezra struck down by Maul...Sabine's fellow Mandalorians turning on her...Arkalia crushed underfoot by Stormtroopers...Alex discovered by the Empire...tortured and executed.

He shouldn't have been able to hear, but he could still hear them screaming.

Alex bound to an Imperial interrogation table...defiant to the last...even as they tore him apart...

 **They'll all die. They'll die because** _ **you**_ **aren't strong enough to protect them. Just like you weren't strong enough to protect your people.**

 _I TRIED!_ he wants to scream, but he has no mouth. He has nothing. Nothing but a flayed mind held together only by guilt and despair.

Guilt for the dead.

Despair for the living.

Then it's all drowned, all lost beneath a crushing, unforgiving press of water. And as he stares into that abyss, he finds it staring back...staring back with Alex's sad, tender eyes.

 _"I'm so sorry, my love. Forgive me."_

And there, through the dark, he sees Arkalia...sweet little Kali...crawling away from him.

 _No, don't! Please!_ _ **Don't go!**_ he wants to cry out, to reach for her. He can do neither. _Kali! Where are you goin'?_

The darkness swallows her up, leaving nothing behind.

 _My girl...my little squeak..._ _ **please!**_ _Don't take my little girl away from me!_

But the plea was useless. They're all gone, and he's alone, silently screaming, looking into the darkness while the darkness looked into him.

XxX

Kallus wasn't waiting long before Kanan was hurrying toward him from the opposite corridor of the one everyone else had taken off down. The knight offered him a grim smile on approach.

"Do you know where they went?"

"Beyond heading to the personnel bay for their own evacuation, I've nothing specific," he said, trusting the Jedi to follow when he took off running. There was little time to waste and they both knew it.

"Ezra and Jidu?" Kanan asked, easily falling into step just behind him.

"Jidu was injured. Ezra's helping her get to the docking bay."

Kanan started to respond, but his words were drowned out by the thunderous din of a collapsing bulkhead. The eerie rushing of water sounded somewhere entirely too close. When Kallus glanced down the corridor he'd been planning to take, it was to see water seeping into the space from several weakening blast doors at the far end.

"It appears we may need to take the long way around," he said, continuing to forge straight ahead.

"So how do we want to handle this?" Kanan asked as they continued to run.

"Hostage situation seemed to work well enough before. Just offer to trade me for him."

"And if they refuse?"

Kallus just ran in silence for several minutes before coming back with, "We'll activate _that_ bridge when we come to it."

The rest of the trek was made largely in silence, broken only by the sounds of failing flood gates and fizzling energy shields. A layer of water was already covering their feet when Kanan suddenly came to a stop at the end of a corridor extending into a mostly dry sector.

"Kanan-"

"We need to go this way," the Jedi said, starting into the passageway.

"Jarrus, if this is more of that Force stuff-" Kallus started to argue. They didn't have time for this. Surely Kanan knew that.

"It is, and we'd better listen to it. I don't know why, but the Force is telling me we _have_ to go this way. When this place could go at any minute, I'm not about to ignore it," he said firmly, not waiting for debate before taking off again. Snarling in frustration, Kallus headed after him. If this was what it was like to work with a Jedi, he supposed he could see where many people had gotten their fill of it during the war.

"This is Masaada's office," he told Kanan when they reached the end of the corridor. "I was here before."

"This is it," Kanan confirmed after several fleeting seconds of consideration. Kallus quickly keyed in the entry code, causing the door to slide open. "See anything?"

Entering the room, Kallus glanced around. Even with the little that could be seen with the dim light from the large bay window, he couldn't see any movement.

"Nothing that I can see."

"Be careful," the knight warned as he came in beside him. "Someone's in here."

"I really don't think we have time for this. They still have Zeb," Kallus pointed out anxiously as he moved further into the room. But then his eyes caught the holo display above the colonel's computer – the _active_ holo display. Someone had been using it. But no sooner had he comprehended that, than the door slid shut behind them.

"You aren't wrong about that," Masaada said as she stepped out of the oppressive darkness of her office. "Though your _Zeb_ just may be closer than you thought."

"Schader," he whispered, keeping his voice even. There was no point to pretending. He knew. He had told her everything she needed to hear in a single sentence.

"So it was you all along. Alexsandr Kallus," she sneered as she moved toward them. "The very last person _any_ of us would have suspected. _Why,_ Alexsandr? You were everything a loyal agent could have aspired to be. Why would you betray our Empire?"

"Because we're _wrong,_ " he answered without hesitation as he drew his bo-rifle, hearing Kanan's lightsaber ignite in the space behind him. "It's that simple. No order is worth the lives that have been lost, the _suffering_ we've brought."

Masaada shook her head, moving even closer. "You disappoint me, Kallus. I thought you had greater vision than this. I thought you _knew_ what needed to be done."

"I do. I didn't before, but I do now. Tell me where Zeb is."

Rather than respond, the colonel snapped her fingers. At that simple sound, two weapons _zinged_ to life in the darkness Masaada had emerged from. They were not bo-rifles, merely electrostaffs, but Kallus didn't imagine they were any less dangerous given who, or rather _what_ , was wielding them.

The light from the electrostaffs revealed two young Lasat warriors standing guard over the sens-dep unit. They were dressed in black mockeries of Honor Guard uniforms and their expressions were utterly blank.

 _Oh, no._

"Surely you'd wondered what became of our Lasat _crop_ ," Masaada said, every word only twisting the vibro-shiv deeper. "Mostly they're sent out, but I keep a few on hand for guard purposes. They are, after all, such _extraordinary_ fighters. And so loyal...once their sense of identity has been eaten away by a bio-chip."

"Chip?" Kanan repeated in mild shock, that smallest bit of horror letting Kallus know exactly how deeply that one word had cut him.

"Ah, yes. I suppose you _do_ have experience with that, Jedi. While Zaniva didn't have the talent to replicate Kamino's cloning process, they could at least come up with something similar to the cloners' organic inhibitor chips. But this chip's purpose is a bit more...shall we say heavy-handed?" she said with an ugly sneer.

"What do you mean?" the Jedi pressed, something in him clearly on the verge of snapping.

"The Kaminoan chip simply instigated a single command, eliminating the ability to question that command. Our chips do for an organic mind what a mind wipe does for a droid. Specific protocols, such as military training and warrior heritage, are left intact, while memories of interpersonal relationships and tenets of identity are wiped clean. It is, of course, a much more _violent_ process than the clone troopers went through, so only about one in four of the subjects born here survive it. That's why we breed so many."

"How can you do this?" Kallus faintly heard himself whispering, giving voice to his anger, disgust, and frustration as he hadn't been able to for nearly a year now. "How can you treat living people like this and call it right? I don't understand you. I thought I knew you once, Schader. You may have been hard, but you were always fair. _Why are you doing this?_ "

For several minutes, Masaada just stood there. Gradually, her shoulders began to shake as ugly, half-mad snarls of laughter tore from her throat. Then she ripped her visor from her face, revealing a left eye milky with blindness and an empty right socket.

"They took everything from me that day on Lasan. Now I'm taking everything from _them!_ " she hissed, tossing the visor aside. "Xesh 601, Xesh 757... _kill_."

The two Lasat were in motion even as she spoke the command, splitting off from each other to engage both him and Kanan. The Jedi was ready, but Kallus barely had time to raise his weapon to block his opponent's first strike. The face that gazed at him across the two locked staffs perfectly impassive, completely without thought or feeling of any kind. This poor soul had nothing – nothing but the order to kill him. Briefly, he found himself relieved that he hadn't allowed Shantiri to come with them. For all he knew, this was one of her children.

 _No!_ he snarled at himself as he twisted out of the deadlock, moving in a wide circle around the young warrior. _Thoughts like that aren't going to get you through this fight._

Even so, he couldn't wholly bring himself to _not see_ the empty chasm in those eyes – that place where a vibrant spirit had once lived, now shattered and erased like an obsolete computer program. The litany streamed through his mind like a useless line of code as the young Lasat came at him again and again.

 _Empty. Empty. Empty. Empty. Empty._

With each repetition, it became that little bit harder to hold back the blows.

 _Is_ _ **this**_ _what you wanted when you sought to bring peace and order to the galaxy?_ _ **This?**_ _Perfect compliance? Absolute obedience? This..._ _ **nothingness?**_

Those eyes were a grave looking to be filled with the peace of death.

Kallus screamed as he fought back against the void before him, using all of his skill just to keep the Lasat at bay. After getting in a successful jab with an electrified tip, he rolled away, switching back to rifle configuration in the same move. But when he focused in to take his kill shot, he aimed a little wide instead, only grazing his opponent's shoulder.

"They're not there anymore, Kallus!" he heard Kanan shouting at him as the Lasat rushed him, having barely reacted to the pain. The agent quickly switched back to staff mode.

"How can you know that?" he demanded, even though he knew it was futile arguing with the Jedi. Part of him still wanted to believe...to cling to the hope they could be saved.

"Because I can _see it._ They...they've been hurt too deeply," the knight explained between bouts of his own. "I'm sorry, but...at this point, it's kinder to just end it."

He knew that. He did. But he also knew it would destroy something in his reclaimed soul to murder even _one more_ Lasat. Something in him would die.

"Can you do it?" Masaada's mocking voice found him from the vaguest edges of his sphere of awareness. "Can you give them what they need? Even though it will _break_ you?"

Kallus couldn't say whether he allowed it to happen or he was simply falling before the mindless warrior's relentless onslaught, but he wasn't quick enough to block the latest attack. The blow from the electrostaff delivered a violent current of electricity throughout his body, allowing his opponent to throw him bodily across the space, sending him crashing heavily to the floor near the sens-dep unit. He cried out in agony when he felt something dislocate in his left shoulder.

It was a struggle for him to even get back to his knees as the young Lasat stalked toward him. Time slowed to a crawl for him as she slowly raised her weapon above her head. He was eerily reminded of his first confrontation with Zeb, the positions now reversed. Maybe it was better to die here? Repenting for his crimes by dying at the hands of a Lasat...

Briefly, his gaze flicked to the monstrous device that held his lover imprisoned. Kanan would be able to save him; he would be fine. Even if Zeb wasn't aware of it, at least he could die by his side. But then, just as the young warrior was bringing her stave down to end his life, something more occurred to him.

This was not about him. How horrible a person was he? To make this young woman's suffering about his own conscience? His own heart didn't matter. She needed help. He could give it to her.

"KALLUS!"

The former Imperial didn't know where he found the strength or speed to lift his bo-rifle, but he did. He raised the weapon just beneath his opponent's downward strike, stabbing through her heart with his bayonet and sending a punishing current of electricity through her body. For a moment – just a moment – he saw those round, luminous eyes brighten in shock, then flicker to relief just before the light faded from them completely, leaving her to collapse before him. Dead.

"Impressive," Masaada said, her voice an odd mix of pleased annoyance. "Perhaps you really are a Butcher of Lasan."

"Don't say those words," he growled as he got to his feet, taking a moment to close the Lasat woman's eyes. " _Not ever._ "

"Afraid of what you are, Kallus?" she asked as he moved slowly toward her. Distantly, he noted that Kanan had moved away from his own defeated opponent and toward the door, blocking escape. So _that_ was why she hadn't made a run for it. "You have killed and bled for your beliefs. When did you become such a _coward?_ " she demanded, the whispers of madness flickering in her destroyed face.

"If anything, I was a coward before...not seeing what I had become...not _wanting_ to see," he said, shutting off the current in his bo-rifle, but still leaving it in staff mode. "You are not blind because you _can't_ see, Schader. It's because you _won't_ see."

Masaada laughed as he came to stand before her. "I made a choice, you know. Not to accept bionic eyes. I saw what became of Vidian and those like him. Was I wrong? When you start down that path, where do you stop?"

"When do you stop on the path you're on right _now?_ " he pressed her, fighting against the pain in his shoulder with every movement. "It doesn't have to _be_ like this. I know. There's a better way. Come with us, Schader."

Again, she laughed. "The merciful conquerer? No. You just don't want to kill me. Obviously, you can't let me leave. Not with what I've heard."

Kallus exhaled slowly as he dropped into a battle ready stance, his bo-rifle still un-ignited. "I don't want to fight."

"That's unfortunate," the colonel said as she drew the collapsible staff she had strapped to her back, "because you'll have to."

He was ashamed to admit he'd thought the staff was a walking aid of some sort. One she didn't have a need for anymore, knowing the base so well. But as she deployed it, it became plain it was a weapon – a weapon he had little doubt she had trained extensively with to be able to wield.

"Please don't make me do this, Schader," he pleaded with her as he reignited his weapon. "This whole place is flooding."

"Then we'll die here together if it comes to that," she snarled. "Because we both know that neither can let the other leave alive."

"Fine."

He gave no more warning than that before attacking. She was ready for him when he came at her, easily blocking the blow he tried to deliver from her side. He attempted several more approaches, all of which were quickly thrown back. Without the full use of his left shoulder, he was fighting at only half strength.

"I never took you for a staff fighter," he grunted

"You'd be surprised what you can do when you _have_ to."

"No. I don't think I would be," he returned, making a sweep to try and take her legs out from under her, but she anticipated even this and blocked his strike in short order. As they battled back and forth across the space, Kallus began to realize that she was maneuvering him, drawing him back toward the sens-dep unit. And the moment he comprehended that, he noticed Kanan at the edges of vision, attempting to make his way to it. She was not going to make it that easy for them.

But in his moment of distraction, she got in a nasty blow to his chin, sending him sprawling backward. His injured shoulder shrieked in agony at the latest impact, drawing a sharp cry of pain from his throat.

"Keep your eyes on me, Alexsandr," she warned him. But the taunt had also made him think of something else...something she maybe hadn't wanted to occur to him in all this.

"Why did you come back here?" he asked as he struggled back up, delivering single-handed hits from several directions to distract her. Preoccupied with listening for his swings, she'd be less able to deceive them. "I understand why you'd keep Zeb with you. It would've kept the other Lasat from attacking you, but why come back here when you could already be aboard your evacuation craft? What's so important you couldn't leave it to be destroyed with the rest of the base? That you'd risk your own _life_ for it?"

"There's not much to risk as far as my life goes," she growled at him, ducking to force him to overstep his latest attack, nearly managing to land a strike to his midsection. "But I've already told you what I want. The _only_ thing I want. If you can't extrapolate from that, you don't deserve to be an ISB agent." Her next blow was to his unguarded shoulder and, for just a moment, his vision went white the pain was so blinding. He screamed as he dropped to his knees, but even in abject agony, his mind poured over the meaning of her words.

What she wanted? What she wanted was to take everything away from the Lasat. So what she needed could only be something related to the project, to the further suffering of the Lasat people. Glancing back to the desk, Kallus finally noticed what he hadn't before – the datapad attached to the computer, still downloading files from it.

"Kanan!" he shouted to the Jedi, uncertain what the exact extent of the blind knight's awareness was. "The computer! There's a datapad!"

"On it."

" _Stop!_ "

Masaada's warning rang out sharply to both of them in the sudden silence of the office as she stepped back to stand beside the sens-dep unit, the end of her staff poised just against the device's control pad. And with that one motion, Kallus saw his entire reality suspended from a single, slender thread – the hairsbreadth of space separating the staff from the control pad.

"I'll destroy it," she warned them, the seriousness of her intent conveyed in the slight tremor of her body, her graying auburn hair having come loose from its knot and tumbled across her face with the slight movement. "Drop your weapons. Leave the datapad and go...or I'll _kill your friend._ "

"Schader... _please,_ " he begged softly, making certain she could hear him set the bo-rifle on the floor. "Don't kill him."

He shouldn't do this, shouldn't bare himself so completely, shouldn't show her just how tightly she held his life clutched in her uncaring fist, but too much had happened today for him to hold his composure together. He had no strength left for the act, the pretense that Garazeb Orrelios did not hold his fragile heart in his hands.

Besides, maybe his display would give Kanan the opportunity to act.

"The Jedi, too," Masaada snarled. "I want to _hear_ that lightsaber hit the floor."

Kallus heard Kanan comply. He didn't dare turn back to look, even if Masaada couldn't see him.

 _If he dies...if he dies, I-_

"Schader...if you want to kill someone, kill _me_. Just let him go. I _beg you,_ " he said, remaining on his knees so she would hear his voice coming from below her.

"What's happened to you, Alexsandr?" she snapped at him. "You've gone from butcher to some Lasat-loving _freak!_ Have you forgotten what they did to your unit? Have you forgotten _Alain?_ " she demanded.

"I forget none of them," he hissed, eyes drifting to her belt when he saw a flicker of movement.

Ezra's lightsaber!

Schader didn't seem to notice it in her growing rage, but the weapon was pulling against the clip on her belt, pulled by the Force – by Kanan. But...what was he planning to do? He wasn't close enough to actually use it; not before Schader carried out her threat. Unless...he meant for it to wind up in _his_ hands.

Could he even _use_ a lightsaber? If their timing was off by even a _second_...

...Zeb would die.

 _Stars, Kanan Jarrus, I hope you know what you're doing._

"Then what is it? What happened out there to make you _so soft?!_ Don't- don't tell me it was this _beast!_ No," she whispered in something like amazed horror. "It _was._ You _care_ for this one. That- that's so disgusting. Is _that_ all it takes to turn your heart? A little sexual perversion?"

That he didn't even dignify with a response. If she didn't know now, she never would. There was nothing disgusting or perverse in what he and Zeb shared. _Nothing._ So, at the very last, he attempted to put all the condemnation he couldn't put into his eyes into his voice.

" _Garazeb Orrelios san ni ashkerra. Ul san ni Tinsana._ Your ignorance cannot destroy what we truly are. And if hatred is all you will ever know, then you will die alone...and I feel sorry for you."

Schader Masaada spat at that one. "Well, I guess if you're going to kriff one of them, you may as well go fully native. Maybe I should just end this now. That would be a fitting punishment for your betrayal, wouldn't it? Having to watch him _die-_ "

But they would never know if the colonel would follow through on her threat, because Kallus was watching, _waiting_ for the moment the lightsaber flew free. And the instant it did, he lifted his hand, the hilt flying true. The green blade shrieked to life as he gripped it, piercing Schader Masaada straight through the heart.

Her staff clattered to the floor, shock blooming across her face in those last scant moments before her final breath shuddered from her body. As Kallus deactivated the lightsaber, his former commander tumbled to the side, collapsing to the floor like so much dead weight. It took everything Kallus had not to collapse right beside her.

Kanan was by his side in an instant, supporting him before he could go down.

"Well, I know better than to ask if you're all right. Don't move."

"Won't- go far," he mumbled faintly, but he was soon snapped back to painful awareness when the Jedi seized his shoulder in both hands and, by some combination of them and probably the Force, popped the dislocated joint back into place.

Kallus screamed in pain one last time, his mind briefly lost in a fog of agony. The pain was so bad, it actually caused him to reject the little bit of bile he still had in his stomach. Once the shoulder was back in place, though, that pain passed quickly.

"Thanks for picking up on that," Kanan said to him as he helped him stand. "I really had no idea if that was going to work."

"Well, in my experience, that's typically how things work in the Rebellion anyway."

"I'm- honestly not sure if that was sarcasm or not. Either way, we need to get out of here. I almost hate to say it, but it might be better if you just cut your losses at this point and come with us now. Who knows when you might get another chance?" the Jedi pointed out as he went to collect the datapad Masaada had been so keen on keeping from them.

For a moment, Kallus actually considered it. An end to the fear and the danger and the hiding, an end to his loneliness and isolation. A chance to see Arkalia again, and to finally be with Zeb.

But it was also for this reason he knew he couldn't leave. He still owed it to the people he loved.

"I want to, Kanan. You can't imagine how _badly_ I want that. But with Masaada dead, my identity is protected. So long as I have that, I must endure. I cannot abandon my duty now," he said as he moved over to the sens-dep unit, resting a hand on the cool durasteel surface.

Kanan sighed as he joined him. "I get it. I think you're being an idiot and Zeb's gonna kill us both later, but I get it."

As he spoke, Kallus let his hand curl into a fist against the hated device. Faintly, he heard the sound of weeping from inside. He _wanted_ to release his love, to end his suffering...but...

"I _hate_ to say this, but...I think you may do better not to release him until you get back to the emergency vehicles. He will be badly disoriented, likely still hallucinating, and you need to get out of here quickly. His condition would only hinder that."

The Jedi groaned in frustration at that, but he nodded. "I don't like it anymore than you do, but I also know you're right. I can sense just how bad off he is in there, and it...it's bad," he said with a shudder. "We'll have a better shot if I just make a quick run."

"Can you find your way back on your own?"

"Sure. No problem. Let's do this."

"Right," he said, then took a small moment to rest his forehead against the device, pressing a tiny kiss to the unyielding surface.

" _La sylf hasher an jital, ni ashkerra,_ " he whispered before pulling himself away. Then they were on the move. Kanan guiding the sens-dep unit back the way they'd come and Kallus slogging his way through knee-high water to get to the personnel bay. It was much closer than the distance Kanan had to travel, but given _where_ the Jedi had collapsed pressure seals, the flooding was decidedly worse down his path.

"This is Agent Kallus. Does anyone read me?" he started in on his comlink.

"Kallus?" Archrem's startled voice soon returned. "We thought you'd-"

"Never mind. Tell me I'm not about to die alone in a collapsing underwater base."

"We'd been holding off departure for the colonel's return. She-"

"You'll be waiting a long time, then. Colonel Masaada is dead. The Jedi killed her."

"Then we'll be leaving when you reach us. Assuming you can manage that in the next five minutes."

"Perfectly manageable, Doctor. Kallus out."

XxX

The light!

The light was _blinding._

And the sound of his own scream in his ears was nearly deafening.

And having the sensation returned to his skin was nearly what he imagined it must be like to be bathed in acid. He didn't fight curling into a fetal position in his attempt to pull away from it all.

"Zeb? Zeb, it's okay," a familiar voice was near-shouting in his ears.

Kanan? But...wasn't he dead? Or was _he_ dead?

"Stop- stop shouting," he begged meekly. He had no idea what was happening.

"Zeb...I'm _not_ shouting. My voice doesn't go any quieter than this. It was the sensory deprivation unit they had you trapped in. That and the drugs."

Drugs? Right. Of course. He'd been drugged. He'd been trapped. That was why this was happening. Manaan. Zaniva. Masaada. Archrem. Kar. Tiri. Jidu. Ezra. _Alex._

"What- what happened?" he finally made himself ask, not sure just how much was real and how much was hallucinated anymore. "Who's dead?"

"Nobody's dead, Zeb. Everybody got out. I don't know what your man's been up to, but it seemed like the Imperials were even less organized than usual, so we can thank the stars for small miracles," he said, reaching out a hand to rest gently on his shoulder. Or at least he imagined the touch was _meant_ to be gentle. To his overwrought nerves, it felt like a durasteel grip.

"W- where are we?" he asked, somehow managing not to flinch away from the touch, despite every instinct _screaming_ at him to get away, to hide, to escape all this sensory overload.

"One of the emergency vehicles. Last one to get out. I made the others take off ahead of us since...I had to get _you_ back. I'm sorry I had to leave you in this thing, but we had to get out fast. I might've done better to leave you in it until we were offworld, but...I didn't think you'd make it out with your mind still intact if I waited any longer. So this isn't gonna be fun. I'm sorry, big guy," he repeated, slowly pulling the Lasat into a hug, which he managed not to flinch from. After a few minutes, he even managed to return the embrace, clinging tightly to his friend as he slowly uncoiled from the tight little ball he'd been curled into.

"I...Kanan, I want outta this thing," he said after a time. "Help me out."

"Sure. Come on," the Jedi said as he helped him climb out of that hideous deathtrap. Then he was helping him lean against a wall. It was cold...so kriffing cold...but he bore it, because he knew he couldn't stand on his own. "Can you open your eyes yet?"

The process was slow, happening over a course of several attempts at blinking his eyes open before having to slam them shut again. When he finally managed to keep them open, it was to see Kanan kneeling in front of him, face pinched and shoulders tense with worry.

"Where...where's- my bo-rifle?" he asked, realizing what it was he _wasn't_ seeing about the figure of his friend.

"Zekaru has it. He's on one of the other evac vehicles. Figured it was only right, that a proper Lasat weapon should be used against Zaniva. Your friend agreed with me."

"Heh, nice. So...what happened down there? How long was I in that thing?"

"A few hours. I couldn't tell you exactly how many. I kinda had to improvise. I set your guard buddies free and we sabotaged a few of the compound's pressure seals. Those sleemos tried to run off with you, but we got you back. I'll tell you the story sometime," the knight said with a somewhat self-satisfied smile.

"Then that place is-"

"Destroyed. Pressure crushed. Anything that's left over is thoroughly flooded by now."

"Good," he snarled weakly.

"We don't have a lot of time here. The first evac vehicle made it to the surface and Hera's been giving me updates. If at least _that's_ going according to plan, Rex should be getting them offworld right now. The second one'll probably be hitting Ahto City at the same time the Imperial craft gets up there, and that's gonna be when the trouble starts."

"What's happenin'?" Zeb asked, blinking furiously at Kanan when the air around his face seemed to splinter and move in waves.

 _Not real. Not real. Keep a hold of yourself._

"Chopper didn't get a chance to lock that bay down. We've had to move the schedule up so much, he's been tied up with working around planetary security. The second freighter _should_ be able to get away clean before Zaniva sounds the alarm; they at least won't be in contact with Ahto City's garrison _until_ they reach the surface. But that still leaves us with two freighters' worth of Lasat planetside. The third _might_ be able to slip through in the chaos. Zel's setting up a few surprises for our Imperial friends right now. It's the last one that really might not make it out. We're just gonna have to go for it and hope for the best."

"Oh. Is _that_ all?" Zeb asked with a shrug. "And here I thought somethin' _different_ was gonna be happenin'. Almost had me worried, you jerk."

"Heh, right. Shantiri's here. She's gonna be the one to lead you through when we hit the docks."

"What do you mean 'lead'?" Zeb asked, looking at his friend through narrowed eyes.

"I mean I hope even _you're_ not delusional enough to think you could actually engage in a fight right now. You can barely stand on your own. Survive today and live to bash Imp heads together tomorrow. I want you to be on the third ship instead of the fourth one. I'm not sure what's gonna happen, but I know your people _need_ you right now. You _have_ to make it out," Kanan told him firmly.

Zeb groaned in frustration. "Wouldn't much care for the idea of you sendin' me away...if I didn't know you were right."

"And you can tell exactly what kind of day it's been when Captain Orrelios concedes defeat," another familiar voice entered his ears. When he looked past Kanan, it took his vision a moment to stop wobbling in order to fix on Tiri. "We're getting close now. We should get ready."

"Right. Somebody gonna help me up?"

"Yeah," Kanan said, being careful as he helped him to stand. Before passing him off to Tiri, he gave him the simple farewell of, "See you on the other side, big guy."

"See you. May the Force be with you, or whatever it is," he mumbled, leaning heavily against Tiri. By the time she helped him out of the small back compartment they'd been in, Kanan was long gone, off to oversee the docking. Tiri led him into the main bay where the rest of their people were gathered.

Zeb couldn't get his mind straight enough to take in much of what was happening, but he was at least faintly aware of the fact that he was surrounded by Lasat, and for the second time in as many days, he was completely floored by that fact. The Lasat of Lira San were his species, of course, but even in his brief time with them, he had known they were not _truly_ his people. _These_ were his people, and he had never thought to be surrounded by them again in life. Despite the fact that the sea of purple faces was swimming in and out of focus before his eyes, it was a peace he had never known.

But the peace vanished just as soon as they exited their docking bay.

As Kanan had predicted, a fierce battle had broken out between the Imperial personnel and the Lasat survivors. Difficult as it was, Zeb had to ignore the fighting around him in order to keep his focus from fracturing into a million irretrievable pieces. Tiri had nearly managed to get him to the bay they were aiming for when something he _couldn't_ ignore pierced the hazy tunnel of his awareness.

Kal.

He heard the sound of his lover shouting as he engaged in a battle. Searching through the chaos that surrounded them, his unsteady eyes picked out Alex – Alex fighting _Kar._

"Alex," he called out weakly.

" _Please!_ " the former Imperial shouted, desperation bleeding through his attempts at anger. "Stop this! I _don't_ want to fight you!"

"Does...does he not _know?_ " Tiri wondered aloud.

At first he'd been looking for signs that it was just another performance, but Tiri's words made him realize what he was seeing, even on his own uncertain mental ground. He knew both men too well. He knew when they were and were not pretending.

They were not pretending right now.

"I told you I would kill you and I meant it!" Kar snarled, delivering a fierce blow with Zeb's own bo-rifle that Alex barely managed to hold back. "Not so cocky now we're not all in cells, huh?!"

"Kar!" Tiri tried to call out to him, but the other guard was too caught up in his fevered bloodlust.

"Please," Alex tried again, repelling his latest blow with a strike that at least managed to throw the enraged Lasat back a few meters. "You're his friend. Don't make me do this."

But Kar didn't listen. He roared in fury as he went at the human.

"KALLUS!" Zeb cried out.

He saw his Tinsana look in the direction of his voice, saw a tiny look of relief in those amber eyes when he saw him alive. For that smallest of frozen moments, he saw Alex smile.

But then he saw the split second when he _chose_ not to defend himself. He saw Alex deliberately not raise his bo-rifle to block Kar's strike. And he saw Kar viciously drive a single yellow sparked pike into Alex's body.

A small eternity passed for Garazeb Orrelios in that moment – an eternity in which he had all the time in the world for the look of mildly shocked pain on his love's face to burn into the back of his eyes...to see his body convulse painfully with each jolt of electricity...to hear the tiny noise of pain that escaped his mouth...and to see the way he began to collapse when Kar pulled the bo-rifle free.

Zeb screamed when Alex fell. There was no being alive who would say he hadn't. Even so, it was a sound the Lasat had never made. Not in battle, not in sorrow, not when he had seen his own people gunned down around him. This scream was a sound all its own – a harrowing sound of denial and horror that those who heard it would lose sleep over in the nights to come for the utter terror contained within that broken scream.

Zeb didn't remember running to Kallus. He was vaguely aware of collapsing to his knees at his side, of using what little strength he'd regained to haul him out of sight behind a stack of crates. And he felt the coolness of his lover's touch as he reached up a gloved hand to touch his face.

"Zeb," he whispered, his voice tight with pain.

"K- Kal..." his voice broke on the word. There was no blood. There couldn't be. The injury had been completely cauterized by electricity. But that didn't mean the wound in his shoulder was any less horrific.

"I'm- sorry," he returned, attempting to brush away tears the Lasat hadn't been fully aware were falling.

"Idiot," Zeb hissed. "Always such an _idiot._ "

"Please...go."

"Can't- I can't leave you. Don't ask me to leave you."

"Go...go, my love...g- go," Alex pleaded with him. "There's- no time. _Go._ "

"I'm not gonna leave you here. Not like this...not here... _Alex_ ," he whispered in anguish, brushing a loose strand of hair from the former Imperial's face.

"2...22...45...92...999," Alex panted out the seeming random string of numbers. "R- remember it. You've got to- get out of here."

"Zeb, we have to go," Kanan's voice was suddenly in his ear.

"No," Zeb half-sobbed, still clinging to his Tinsana. "I won't leave you. _La rokir rrazehan. An san ni Tinsana._ _ **Tinsana!**_ "

"Zeb...oh, Zeb...please," Alex begged him, tears beginning to slip from his own eyes as he lifted his head to press his lips to Zeb's one last time. Then he was whispering against them. " _La...La rokir...rrazehan._ "

" _Ashla silir an. Ashla rever an. Velenir an azare bar,_ " he whispered back, but the rest was a prayer for the dead and he couldn't bring himself to say it. Instead he simply offered up, " _Sorrer an astyr revat falna bogtyl._ "

 _Grant you the strength to hold back the darkness._

"Zeb, if we take him with us now, he'll die," Kanan explained quietly and quickly. "He'll get better medical treatment with the Empire than he ever could with us. We have to go. _Now._ "

Zeb nodded his understanding faintly. Even so, he couldn't bring himself to pull away. Pressing his forehead to Alex's one last time, he cried, " _L'ashkerrir an. L'ashkerrir an._ "

" _La sylf hasher an jital,_ " Alex returned before losing consciousness altogether, going slack in Zeb's embrace.

He promised Zeb that, but Zeb couldn't promise him anything. All he could do was pray, never taking his eyes off of his lover as Kanan dragged him away.

 _Please...let me see him again. Let me see my love again. Just once more._ _ **Please!**_

XxX

(A/N) Well...that was soul-crushing to write. And if I broke my own heart writing it, I'm almost afraid to know what I've done to your hearts. I suppose I should say sorry not sorry in advance, and that I will hopefully have a new chapter for you before too terribly long. In the meantime, I do believe you'll all be wanting some translations.

L'ashkerrir an - I love you

La sylf orror - I will never

Okorre - Captain

La san araz an s'ahn kallat. Gar La sova sir an nel Jan Tallan araz valli. Benu Inkana Shalm san kerra nali'an - I am still yours to command. The vow I made to you as a Guard of the Blood still stands. The right of Benu Inkana is in your hands.

Okorre...zakyre - Captain...please

La obrir Benu Inkana. La or'velkir enver siv mayka. Na soller elysh, ni okorre. - I invoke the Benu Inkana. I cannot bear this anymore. Give me death, my captain.

Zakyre...na allir...na allir...tef na allir...afil...orra! - Please...kill me...kill me...just kill me...before...no!

Ashla silir an. Ashla rever an. Velenir an azare bar. - Ashla save you. Ashlas hold you. Guide you through the night.

E- eri. Garazeb...ul san ni Tinsana - Y- yes. Garaeb...he is my Tinsana.

An? Harresh? Mallana nis lasaht? Sav or'velkir sat. Sultir an rokir k'in san rallat astal Tinsahn Keerahn? - You? A human? The murderer of our people? That cannot be. DO you know what it is to claim the power of the Way of the Bond?

La sultir. Garazeb Orrelios...ul...na solla ni zash - I do. Garazeb Orrelios...he...gave me my life.

Gal an masir an san vosaryl ashkerra'ul? - And you believe you are worthy of his love?

Orra. La vas **orror** masir sav. Tan...sav sorr bennanul - Never. I may never believe that. But...that was his choice.

Garazeb Orrelios san ni ashkerra. Ul san ni Tinsana - Garazeb Orrelios is my love. He is my Tinsana

La sylf hasher an jital, ni ashkerra - I will see you again, my love.

La rokir rrazehan. An san ni Tinsana - I know your name. You are my Bondmate.

And I do believe that's all of it. Now if you'll excuse me, I've only got three hours to sleep before work. See you next time.


	13. So I'll Stay Unforgiven

(A/N) As always, my chickadees, sorry these take so long. The bitch of living and all, that sort of thing. Also, I finally had to up the rating on this story and, wouldn't you know it, it's not actually for Zeb and Alex. Heheh. Hope you all enjoy my latest installment.

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 13: So I'll Stay Unforgiven_

 _2, 22, 45, 92, 999._

Kanan repeated the numbers exhaustively in his head as he made for the bridge of the small freighter, sensing his way with the Force. Rex had made a clean getaway with the first freighter and Hera had sent Ezra and Jidu off with the second. She and Chopper had managed to slip through the orbiting security force before being stopped, but now the _Strike Saber_ was hurtling toward that same force without much chance of a similar miracle. They wouldn't be able to outshoot or outrun anyone in this ancient bucket of bolts.

"Dunno _how_ we're gonna get outta this one," he muttered as he moved. They were in clear and present danger, yet his thoughts remained fixed on those numbers.

 _2, 22, 45, 92, 999._

Kallus had given them those numbers and told them to remember them. He was badly injured, dying. It was possible the numbers were part of some delirium. Possible, but Kanan didn't think so. Even at the worst of times, Agent Alexsandr Kallus was level-headed and clear-thinking. There was a reason. With so little time and so desperate a situation, what would the former Imperial have taken such precious time to impart?

A way out, likely. But _how?_

"What have we got?" he asked as he stepped onto the bridge.

"They're hailing us," the voice of a young Lasat answered him. Jorrah, if he remembered correctly. The boy Alreitha had designated pilot if the need arose. And he could feel the former guardswoman's presence on the bridge, as well.

"Attention FX-0600 light freighter _Strike Saber_ , Ahto City port has been placed under lockdown. No ships may enter or leave. Prepare to return to port or be detained."

"What are we going to do?" Zelina's voice came from behind him. Zeb and Shantiri were with her.

" _Strike Saber_ , if you do not comply immediately, we are authorized to respond with deadly force," the voice on the other end of the comm stated in clipped Imperial tones.

"Well, that escalated quickly," Kanan muttered wryly, thinking.

"We will not go back," Alreitha stated, voice tight and imperious. "We will die upright, on our feet before our enemies before we _ever_ go back in chains."

" _Benu Inkana_ ," Jorrah whispered.

" _Strike Saber,_ your response?"

A way out.

"Jorrah, send back these numbers. 2, 22, 45, 92, 999," Kanan told the young Lasat.

He heard Jorrah tap out the response, and for a long, tense moment, there was nothing. Just the individual cadences of each person's breath. Alreitha, Jorrah, himself, Zeb, Shantiri, Zelina, and then Kar. But then the voice on comms responded, this time in a slightly higher tone.

"FX - 0600 light freighter _Strike Saber_...we acknowledge Imperial Security Bureau emergency override code. You are cleared for hyperspace. Proceed to coordinates."

"Acknowledged," Jorrah answered stiffly. As he proceeded to take them to hyperspace, the differing breathing patterns all coalesced into a single collective sigh of relief.

"We're out," Zelina breathed as the freighter went to lightspeed.

An emergency override code. Kallus was truly desperate then, to give them that. He would have to offer an explanation for it when he regained consciousness... _if_ he regained consciousness...

 _He will. You've_ _ **seen**_ _it. You_ _ **know**_ _he will._

Even if he hadn't, the former Imperial was much too stubborn to die. Not while there was still a mission.

But maybe Zeb didn't know that.

He heard his friend _roar_ in rage, felt the flare of his anger within the Force just a moment too late to step in, and heard the sound of him seizing his bo-rife from Kar as he threw him to the ground.

"Zeb, what are you doing?" Alreitha demanded, and Kanan didn't need to see to know. He could see the Lasat perfectly in his mind's eye, exactly as he'd seen him in his vision, standing above what he'd initially thought to be an enemy, bo-rifle poised to strike, his expression ravaged and terrible.

" _Ka t'an sultira, zen bogal? An z'rrasat ni gereng, an or'sultir_ _ **zer alrrazeh!**_ " Zeb roared in a voice like thunder. " _An_ _ **shyrrer**_ _ru'unat ni Tinsana?! An_ _ **shyrrer verat K'SAN NIVSAHN?!**_ "

" _T- Tinsana?_ " Kar repeated in shock.

"Kanan, what's happening?" Zelina asked him, voice firm, though he could still hear the kernel of pure _terror_ beneath the facade. "What's he saying?"

"What have you done, lowest of the low? You so beneath my contempt, you have not even a name," Kanan repeated exactly, remembering the tortured words from his vision, though he spoke hardly a word of Lasana. "You _dare_ touch my Bondmate? You _dare_ hurt what's _mine?_ "

"Zeb, he didn't know," Shantiri tried to placate him.

"Didn't know? _Didn't KNOW?!_ " his friend repeated in rage. "He only had my scent all over him! Everyone else knew!"

"Maybe they did, but none of them saw what I saw," Kar responded, keeping his voice even. Kanan heard a sound that told him the other guardsman was shifting to his knees. "I saw that Imp enter your cell. I assumed- I thought he'd- done something to you you didn't want. When I caught your scent on him later, I thought that was why."

"You thought- he raped me," Zeb said in a stilted voice, understanding beginning to creep in.

"I did, and I would've done _anything_ to avenge that hurt, but I was wrong. I will bear any punishment you deem fit, my captain."

"Wait- what? _Why?_ " Zelina was asking, still not understanding.

"The _Tinsahn Keeraw_ has been violated," Kar explained for all of them. "Among those who keep the Law, none but Garazeb, son of Orrelios, may lay claim to that one's soul...living or dying. The _Tinsahn_ is the light of the soul, a sacred territory upon which no other being may intrude. There is no forgiveness," he said simply. "Only death."

For a long while, there was no movement on the bridge that Kanan could discern. But then he heard the distinct sound of Zeb collapsing his bo-rifle.

"You didn't know," the former captain finally conceded. "I can't blame you for tryin' to do right. You're my brother, Kar. I thought you were dead. I'm not gonna kill you."

Once again, Kanan felt that same collective sigh of relief pass through the group, the tension draining away and leaving them all suddenly exhausted.

"Well, today definitely hasn't been uneventful," Kanan finally got himself to say. "We could probably stand to calm ourselves down some. Alreitha, you should be resting. Same with you, Zeb. I honestly have no idea what's keeping you on your feet right now."

"Sheer animal stubbornness most likely," Kar answered with a small laugh as someone helped him up.

"Wouldn't doubt it," Zeb said with a self-deprecating chuckle.

"And Zelina? I'm guessing several of our new passengers just might be in need of your medical expertise. Would you like to go and see what's what?" he asked the young Mandalorian, feeling like it was probably best to keep her busy and not thinking about everything that had just happened.

"Right. Of course. Would you all mind introducing me?" she asked the guardsmen, who all agreed. Once everyone had exited the bridge, Kanan could easily sense who the one remaining was.

"He'll be all right, Zeb," he reassured his friend, turning back to the Lasat to 'look' at him. "I've seen it. I've seen a vision of a time beyond this when he's recovered. He'll pull through."

"Yeah, but...aren't you the one who's always sayin' you can't _rely_ on visions?" Zeb pressed. "What if you're wrong?"

"I'm not. Not about this. He won't leave you. You _or_ Arkalia. So long as he has the pair of you to come back to, he'll keep fighting. He won't give up. We at least know _that_ about Kallus," he said, making a small attempt at levity.

"Maybe so...but how much longer is he _gonna_ have Arkalia to come back to?" Zeb muttered bitterly before stalking from the bridge, leaving Kanan wincing as he listened to him go.

The Jedi collapsed into one of the pilot's chairs with a frustrated sigh. It was true that, with this veritable colony of Lasat now in tow, they would have to be looking for opportunities to make the run to Lira San sooner rather than later. They'd raided many Imperial supply depots in preparation. He even knew Kallus had left them some tips on where food might be liberated from locations around Ahto City, which he hoped Hera and Rex had been able to follow up on. They were prepared, but even so, their supplies wouldn't last forever. Lira San was in their immediate future, no matter what, but...he did have to wonder if it was in Arkalia's.

They all loved the little girl as one of their own; there was no doubt. But there was also no denying just how dangerous their lives were, as evidenced by this very mission. It would be safer for the little kit, _better_ , if they sent her to live on Lira San with the rest of her people. But was it only fear of that inevitable loss, that pain, that prevented Zeb from reaching out to claim Ari as his own? Or was it still the memory of little Kaya and her unknown fate that haunted him? The fear of failing another child?

Whatever it was, Zeb was going to have to figure it out and soon. Otherwise he and Kallus just might wind up losing the best thing that could happen to either of them...

...assuming they didn't lose each _other_ first.

XxX

"Various contusions typical of close quarters fighting. Mild hypothermia from extended submersion in freezing water. Electrical burns from bo-rifle combat. His left shoulder shows signs of being realigned after a dislocation injury. The worst of them is the puncture wound above his right clavicle, which it seems he only survived due to his armor. Any lower and he would no longer be with us."

Thrawn listened to the med droid list off Kallus' injuries without comment, cataloguing the physical evidence of each wound as it was presented to him.

The badly injured ISB agent was currently suspended in a bacta tank, his face largely concealed by a breath mask. He had been stripped down to his black undershorts, leaving the worst of his wounds on display. It had been a near thing, but it looked that the man was going to pull through.

Ever since the business with Kuross and Manaan had begun, he'd been keeping an ear to the ground for word of either. Given Spectre Cell's interest in the subject and Kallus' ties to the Lasat people, it hadn't been all that difficult to deduce what was occurring in Zaniva's facility on Manaan; and though he found the whole project repugnant, he was not in service to the Empire for his personal feelings. He was in service to the Empire for a higher cause. Part of him had begun to wonder if Agent Kallus might be of use to that cause. After all, his ideals were somewhat more elevated than the Chiss had become used to seeing in the Empire. The man truly seemed to believe in building a better galaxy, and no one fought harder than a believer. Thrawn could grant the rebellion that, if nothing else. It drew believers to its flame almost effortlessly. The Empire did not have a great many believers, so he would have to take them where he could find them.

And a chief part of that was ensuring that the agent didn't get himself killed with his fanatical patriotism.

"How long would you estimate it was Agent Kallus went without medical attention?" he asked, directing the question not to the medical droid but to Doctor Archrem, one of the project's few surviving scientists.

The man's gaze had been focused on him, eyes calculating, assessing. The look of a scientist, certainly, but not necessarily one who was truly intelligent. Given his particular involvement with Zaniva, there was undoubtedly an interest in non-humans there. Likely even an obsession. Only briefly did his gaze flick to Kallus before returning to Thrawn.

"Twenty, maybe thirty minutes, I would guess. He was pulled to the side, likely by one of the troopers that was killed in the fighting, as we almost missed him in the aftermath. Thankfully, Ahto City possesses top notch medical facilities. Otherwise things might've ended poorly. But it seems your agent is a stubborn one."

"No one would contest that statement."

"Personally, I will be interested to hear how he escaped."

"Escaped, Doctor?" the grand admiral asked. "Was he a prisoner?"

"Not as such. We had trapped most of the insurgent cell in the control center, but when their Jedi friend created a distraction, they were able to turn on us. The Jedi bratling took Agent Kallus out. He seemed to be in bad shape, so we were forced to leave him behind when we sealed them inside the chamber. That was the last I'd seen of him before he was comming me to report Colonel Masaada's death. Then, of course, the fighting broke out and you see the result."

"And were you the one to realign his shoulder?"

"No. I wasn't actually aware he'd dislocated it. I would say we can only assume he forced the joint himself."

An impressive and unlikely feat, but not impossible, especially under extreme circumstances. If combat with a Jedi was involved, Thrawn didn't doubt there had been extreme circumstances.

"Assume, perhaps, but there may be other possibilities. We can only wait upon the agent to regain consciousness to know for certain."

"I wasn't aware this sting operation was of such importance to the Empire, to actually send the Seventh Fleet to follow up," Archrem commented, plainly fishing for information.

"Officially, the Seventh Fleet is not here at all. This is a personal initiative of mine. Many of Agent Kallus' assignments have been of a relation to my own ends in the Outer Rim territories. The operation had been on file with the fleet, but when its failure was reported, I brought along a contingent of my own to follow up."

"Do you suppose it might be possible for your fleet to track the whereabouts of my subjects?" the scientist pressed him. "We harvested only one truly useable crop of Lasat. The next is still undergoing conditioning."

"Such a thing would not officially be my fleet's business, but it seems to me that if we find the rebel fleet we've been searching for, we shall also find your wayward Lasat," he pointed out.

"That would be most appreciated. If you feel there's anything I might do for you in the meantime..."

Not anything he felt was truly important of course, but if there was a way to keep the man focused in the interim...keep his attention from drifting elsewhere...and maybe, ultimately, eliminate the need for Ash Warrior's earliest stages...

"Is there any truth to the rumor there was a Clone War era trooper involved in this mess?"

"There appears to be truth in that, yes. It's difficult to tell what capacity. The security recording of the incident is poor."

"And am I to understand the Kamino cloning process has never been successfully duplicated?"

"It has not. This project would be a great deal easier if it had," he said. Thrawn felt he'd learned the human voice pattern well enough to be able to identify the tone as exasperation, but he wasn't quite well versed enough to know whether that exasperation was from an inability to duplicate the science or at being compared to the scientists of Kamino.

"It has come to my attention that Zaniva has come into possession of a few clones. Perhaps their study may further the ends of your own project. After all, I imagine it would make things a great deal easier if you _didn't_ have to concern yourself with the breeding process. I would say that is where you could best turn your efforts in the meantime."

Archrem's gaze shifted downward, his thoughts focusing inward. His heightened coloring, plus the rapid blinking of his eyes suggested to Thrawn that he'd embarrassed the human somehow – likely in suggesting he might enjoy that part of the project. But as the scientist thought, his expression firmed up, a thin smile curling his lips as some form of understanding lit his gray eyes.

"Yes, Grand Admiral...indeed. I believe you're right."

"Droid," Thrawn started in with the medical automata once again. "By your judgement, would it be possible to release Agent Kallus into the care of the Seventh Fleet's medical facilities?"

"By my judgement, I would wait an additional cycle to be certain of the agent's stability before moving him. This really was a near thing. But if he is still holding well tomorrow morning, I would see no problem with releasing him to your medical officer's care."

"Excellent. And now, Doctor, I believe you have a transfer request to put through."

"Absolutely," the human said as he left the medical suite, his mind clearly far and away from Manaan. The medical droid followed soon after, something about other patients to see to. This left Thrawn alone with the incapacitated ISB agent.

"I hope I am not wrong about you, Agent Kallus," the grand admiral said as he surveyed the agent, drifting steadily within the tank. "If you are prepared, you may be able to do the galaxy a great deal of good."

Dedicated and intelligent, that much he had observed of the human male, but he was also fairly certain there was something about him he had yet to discern. Perhaps keeping him aboard the _Chimaera_ for a time would help him to pin down that final piece of information – convince the man to divulge the last of his secrets.

Because really, there was nothing Thrawn appreciated more than a good puzzle.

XxX

The moment the little Spectre family was back together aboard the _Ghost_ , Kanan had encouraged Ezra to meditate on the events that had just transpired. Though his padawan had never been much of a hand at traditional meditation, he was at least pleased the younger Jedi had managed to get in about ten minutes before giving up and going to make friends among the Lasat they'd transferred from the _Strike Saber_ to the _Ghost_. If there was one thing the boy _didn't_ have trouble with, it was making friends, and in this case, perhaps that would be his meditation on the horrors he'd seen these people go through.

Kanan himself, though? He was still having trouble. After all, he had witnessed the final fate of these Lasat prisoners where Ezra had not, and he was glad of that much, but it didn't make it any easier for him to forget the feel of the minds of those young Lasat – gaping, consuming, _hideous_ blanks. Nothing left of the souls they had once been. All that had remained was the need to fight, to obey orders. It was worse than anything the clones had undergone. They, at least, had largely been left their personalities. These people had been left with nothing. And the Empire would've kept on doing it if they hadn''t intervened.

"Typical Imperial _Sith spit_ ," he snarled below his breath.

"Kanan?" Hera's voice suddenly interrupted the ugly swirl of his thoughts. Pulling himself out of the tangled mental morass, he gravitated back to Hera's warm, solid presence entering the room.

"Hey, Hera."

"Still trying to make sense of it all?" she asked as she sat down beside him, the fact that he'd responded at all her invitation to join him.

"Something like that. I guess my head just gets stuck in a loop...thinking about something like that happening to Zeb or Ari...or Sabine or Ezra, even. I keep thinking about how easy it is for them to just- _erase_ everything you are."

"Well, they're puppet masters. It's what they do. If nothing else, Rex should be able to help Zelina and the other medics start figuring out how to remove the chips."

"I haven't- told him about it yet. He took the whole Darth Vader thing so hard; I didn't want to put anything else on him," he said, leaning his head against hers.

"I get that. But you are going to have to let him know sometime, especially if we want his help," she pointed out.

"I know, but it's still gonna be like a punch to the gut for him, what this technology's being used for. Depending on when a chip's growth begins and...whether or not her parents really _did_ escape from Manaan...it's possible even _Ari_ might have one of those chips. He loves that kit so much, if she does have one, it would _kill_ him. It kills _me_ and we don't even know for sure," he ground out, and he likely would've kept rambling on were it not for the soothing hand Hera pressed to his knee.

"I know. I understand. I care about Lia, too. At this point, she's like one of our own. But the only thing we can really do is take this one step at a time. If it turns out Lia does have a chip, we'll remove it. Right now, I think it's probably better that we focus on helping all the other Lasat. We're going to need to get them relocated before we can launch the attack on Lothal. There are likely a few births we'll have to wait on; there are enough women in this group near enough to their time, I _never_ would've taken them into space if I'd had literally _any_ other choice. We're in for an interesting few weeks on Atollon. I'll say that much," the Twi'lek said with a sigh.

Kanan managed a laugh at her words. "It's a rebellion. When are things ever _not_ interesting?"

"Mm, I'll grant you that one," she said, taking his hand in hers and twining their fingers together. "Though I can't name a rebellion in galactic history that was known for delivering babies."

"You've never thought about it, then?" Kanan asked her, suddenly feeling nervous. "Having a kid while the fighting's still going on?"

Silence reigned between them for several moments, the tension Kanan felt in his lover nearly leading him to attempt to laugh the question off. But then he felt that same something inside of her begin to ease as she relaxed deeper into his embrace.

"Honestly? Before Arkalia came along, I hadn't given it much thought. I'd always placed the idea firmly in the category of 'things to think about when the fighting's over'. But...the more I think about it, the more I realize that day might never come. Not in our lifetime, maybe. And- what are we fighting for if not to make a better galaxy for our children? I know it- might take a little more assisted technology when it comes to me and you, but...if something _were_ to happen...I don't think I'd mind," she said, turning her head to the side to press a kiss to his shoulder.

Kanan felt something warm and unexpected blossom in his chest at her words. He would be lying if he said the thought hadn't been more and more on his mind since Arkalia had come into their lives, but to actually hear Hera say it out loud was something else entirely. And if honesty was the name of the game today, he would have to say that the idea of Hera's belly swelling with their baby stirred much more than just his heart. Leaning his own head to the side, he pressed a less than chaste kiss to the top of her right lek. "You can't _imagine_ how much that makes me wanna try."

Hera chuckled lightly at his words, snuggling in that much closer. "Think you could get me pregnant in five minutes, Jarrus? Cuz that's how long you've got before my proximity alert sounds. Somehow I don't think even _you_ are that good, fly boy."

"First time for everything, love," he teased, waving a hand to seal the door with the Force. "Do I have my captain's permission to attempt to put a baby in her belly in the next five minutes?" he asked as he knelt in front of her.

Hera laughed out loud at his antics. "You know what? Sure. I'll enjoy watching you try."

"Oh, I'm sure you will," he said, using the Force again. This time to undo the straps on her coveralls and draw the heavy fabric down her body. Hera gasped quietly at the display.

"You get _exactly_ five minutes, though, sweet. The second that proximity alert sounds, I'm heading back to the bridge. Doesn't matter if you're balls deep in me, Kanan Jarrus. I will one hundred percent leave you hanging," she informed him, every bit the queen on her throne – _his_ queen.

"So cruel. Had best not waste time then," he said as he pulled the coveralls down over her hips, followed quickly by her thin pants and scant panties. It was barely a moment before he had his face buried between her thighs on a path he knew well, laving the most sensitive part of her body with his tongue.

"What happened to- _ungh_...not wasting time?" she moaned, dipping her fingers down to clutch at his hair. "I'm- _ha-_ failing to see how- _oh, stars- ngh_...getting me off- gets me pregnant."

"Mm...might not- get you pregnant," he groaned between mouthfuls of her, "but getting you off is _never_ a waste of time."

Hera couldn't seem to muster words as he went even harder at her clit, alternating between the top and the bottom of his tongue. With every sound he drew from her lips, he felt himself growing just that little bit harder. Mostly he was just amazed she was letting him do this at all. It was much more spontaneous than he was used to from her. He supposed, like himself, she was feeling the need to indulge in true love-making – _real sex_ – after witnessing the disgusting mockery Zaniva had made of it. Whatever the impetus was, he was not going to waste time questioning it. He was going to do the woman he loved hard and fast up against a ship's bulkhead.

His intent was rewarded several tongue thrusts later when the Twi'lek gave a little cry and her body began to spasm against his with the force of her orgasm.

"About two point five minutes for you," he estimated as he yanked the rest of her clothes off, leaving her in just her shirt and headgear. He only took as much time as needed to pull his stiff cock out, not bothering with any further clothing removal. "Gives me about two minutes to get you done."

"By all means," she groaned, attempting to hold onto the playful banter from earlier, despite how obviously blissed out she was. He took her invitation quite seriously, needing only a few seconds to pick her up and carry her to the opposite wall, pressing her up against it as he entered her.

They took only a moment to revel in the feeling of being joined before Kanan was moving, thrusting hard into her body over and over again. Though part of him would have preferred slow and gentle in this moment, their time was also limited, so quick and dirty would have to suffice. Kanan began to pant heavily when he felt Hera wrap her arms around his shoulders. They couldn't properly press their foreheads together with his mask still on, but they could still kiss very deeply as they moved together against the wall. Kanan was only vaguely aware of it when the proximity alert sounded.

"K- Kanan," Hera whimpered. "It's...it's the-"

"Just- a few more- _seconds!_ " he grunted, thrusting as fast and as deep into her as he could. Then, all at once, he felt his body give, his orgasm claiming him as he half-collapsed against her, pinning her in place. For several moments, they both just held like that, feeling his seed pulse into her body. Hera hardly waited for him to finish to start disentangling herself from him.

"All right, Kanan, time's up," she said, though she was sighing happily the whole time she went about pulling her clothes back on. "I did warn you."

"Suppose you did. Just barely got it in in time," he said, unable to help reaching across to her to rest a hand on her flat stomach. "It'll probably take a lot more than just that, but there's always hope."

He could feel the way Hera's presence fairly glowed in his darkness as she rested her hands over his. He could also feel the smile on her lips as she leaned in for one last kiss.

"You'd better get used to quick and dirty then. The rebellion won't stop for us just because we may or may not be trying to have a baby."

"Oh, I'll do anything to get a moment alone with you," he told her.

"I believe it. I'm going to go pilot us down to Atollon now. And for stars' sake, would you please clean up before you even _think_ about following me," she said on her way out.

"I'll manage it somehow," he called after her, taking that extra bit of time to wipe himself clean of both his and her slick fluids before tucking himself back into his pants and rejoining the galaxy, already much more pleased with it than he had been when he'd gone in for meditation.

XxX

Hera waited for the other freighters to emerge from hyperspace before making her descent into Atollon's atmosphere. Most women probably wouldn't have been able to stick such a perfect landing after being so thoroughly kriffed, but Hera Syndulla had _never_ been most women. If anything, she would say she made the landing better, feeling like she was still glowing after Kanan's attentions to her body. She would have to do some research into human-Twi'lek compatibility at some point, but that could keep until later. For now, there were the Lasat to get situated.

Ezra had already made fast friends with Jorrah, and the two of them were surrounded by a gaggle of young Lasat as they exited the _Ghost_. Rex was helping Zelina lead a group of injured Lasat in the direction of the infirmary while other rebels moved in to greet the disembarking Lasat. One in particular rushed forward when Jidu exited the ship. Tsirhara.

The Syren quickly caught the young spy in a tight embrace, which Jidu readily returned.

"Are you all right?" the young pilot asked as she pulled back, suddenly shy again. "They said you'd been hurt."

Jidu waved her off with a smile and a nod. "I've had worse. I've probably broken every bone in my body at least once. Though," she started as she pulled the Syren in closer once more, "I _am_ going to take that enthusiastic greeting as permission to continue where we left off."

Jidu was nearly a head shorter than Tsirhara, so there was something almost comical in watching her swallow nervously and nod, the tiny, delicate feathers that framed her face fluffing outward in a Syren blush. With an inviting smirk, Jidu drew the much taller Syren down into a kiss. Hera lost track of them after that, but she knew enough about desperate, hungry first kisses to guess where they would end up.

The next reunion she took note of was Wedge carrying Arkalia out onto the launch field. When the little one saw Zeb running toward them, she squealed with delight and launched herself away from the pilot, flying through the air briefly before Zeb caught her in his arms. Then the two of them were rolling around in the dust, Zeb tossing the little kit into the air before catching her with both hands and feet. Hera was quite certain most of the rebels still suffered heart attacks whenever Zeb did that, but Arkalia had never once been injured, so she was confident the former guardsman knew what he was doing.

"Oh. What a precious little girl," Alreitha said as she came up to them, hand resting over the swell of her own soon to be born child. "Is she yours, Zeb'aki'a?"

"Not- not like that, no," Zeb said, a dark pall descending over his face as he sat up with little Lia in his arms. "Kal found her...still alive after an Imperial raid on Alluria. She was the only one left. He got her out."

"No idea who her parents were?"

"No. I wasn't there and Kal wouldn't have known, but her name's Arkalia."

"Lovely," the older woman said, reaching out her free hand to stroke the fur under the kit's chin, which earned her a pleased purr in response.

"She'll be goin' home with you all...when the time comes," Zeb said quietly, keeping his gaze down, focused on his precious girl.

If the conversation continued after that, Hera wasn't aware of it. She, Kanan, and Chopper went to Sato to make their report on the mission.

"I wouldn't worry about Fulcrum. He's survived worse," Kanan said when they came to the end of the telling. "He'll report back in when he's able."

"Indeed. And what became of this datapad you retrieved from Masaada?" the commander asked them.

Chopper presented the datapad with a chirp and an annoyed whistle. Sato quickly took it in hand.

"Chop and I have been working on it, but we've had no luck. This thing has some serious encryption on it. Whatever it is, Schader Masaada didn't want anyone else to see it," Hera told him.

"We will just have to keep trying then. As for these Lasat-"

"The others are helping them set up a camp of their own, adjacent to the base. We knew there would be births to deal with. I'm just not sure we were prepared for the exact number. There are at least ten women only a week or two short of giving birth. So we'll need a few more weeks before we can lead them to Lira San."

"And we are prepared to handle all this?"

"We'll make it work...somehow," Hera said. "We owe these people that much."

XxX

 _"Mama!"_

 _His mother's arms open wide to catch him as he runs to her, sobbing. Once he's safe in her embrace, he buries his face in her chest and cries for all he's worth._

 _"Oh, there now, my little meiloorun. Everything's all right now. What happened?"_

 _"He hit me again," Alex sniffles, clinging to her. "M- Mama...why doesn't he like me?"_

 _"I don't think he likes anyone, mei-mei. It isn't you," she says softly as she strokes his hair._

 _"Do- do I really hafta go with him?"_

 _"I'm afraid so, my love. It's the only way you can have a life where you_ _ **don't**_ _have to make these kinds of choices. I want that for you."_

 _"But what about you?"_

 _"I've had my happiness, mei-mei. The only joy left to me is to see that you find yours," she says, kissing the top of his head._

 _"Can you sing the love song?" he asks her, burrowing even deeper into her arms, trying to shut out the world any way he can._

 _"Of course, dear heart."_

 _ **Now I know you're safe here in my heart**_

 _ **You will always be with me**_

 _ **We'll never be apart**_

 _ **Never knew how strong my love could be**_

 _ **You're the one I've waited for**_

 _ **Now you're home**_

 _ **I believe**_

 _ **Love survives beyond our lives**_

 _ **I feel those ties growing stronger**_

 _ **Love survives the tears we cry**_

 _ **Yes, love survives it all.**_

 _ **Love survives it all.**_

 _ **Even when we want to run and hide**_

 _ **Love comes in to pull us through**_

 _ **From deep inside**_

 _ **The magic has made us who we are**_

 _ **Don't you see we've come so far**_

 _ **Take my hand**_

 _ **You make me understand**_

 _ **Love survives beyond our lives**_

 _ **I feel those ties growing stronger**_

 _ **Love survives the tears we cry**_

 _ **Yes, love survives it all**_

 _ **Love survives it all**_

 _Then hard, uncaring fingers are prying him away from his mother. He screams and cries for her, but no one cares._

 _"Just remember, brat, this is nothing more than a favor to your mother. You are nothing to me. You_ _ **are**_ _nothing."_

 _And nothings die alone and unloved._

 _The water in the corridor is high enough that he has to swim through it now. Even during his survival training, he hadn't known water could get this cold. Even through his gloves, he's already beginning to lose the feeling in his fingertips._

 _Lights are shorting out all around him as the freezing temperatures overwhelm them. It won't be long before he's trapped in complete darkness. Summoning up a reserve of strength he'd been unaware he even had, he launches himself out of the water to grab for an emergency hatch on the ceiling, quickly wrenching it open and lifting himself through. There's only a very small trickle of water raining down on him as he climbs up. Shivering, he continues to run in the direction of the personnel bay, praying they haven't left yet._

 _He sees the door he needs at the end of the next corridor, but the moment he spots it is also the moment he hears yet another bulkhead fail. He sees the crushing wave of water pouring into the base not ten meters from him before he begins to sprint down the last corridor._

 _He makes the door in time, but it won't open. Whether it's emergency shutdown or simply no longer functioning this late in the flooding, who could say? Either way, it spells certain death for him. Looking back to see the oncoming water, he braces himself against the control panel for impact, taking the deepest breath his lungs will hold._

 _Complete submersion in the frigid water is a painful shock to his system. He feels that more than he feels the crushing force of the water battering him against the panel. The moment he's completely under, he continues trying to force the door open._

 _Where was a kriffing Jedi when you actually needed one?_

 _Even though nothing's working, he keeps trying, because the only other option is to drown. He's faintly aware that, by now, the water pressure is what's holding the door shut. If he can wedge it open just a little bit, that pressure seal will give. So he removes his bo-rifle and jams the bayonet into the seam, pulling with all his might and_ _ **hoping**_ _the small length of metal doesn't snap._

 _ **Fulcrum. Fulcrum! Come on, Kallus! If there was ever a time you**_ _ **needed**_ _**to be Fulcrum, it's now! COME ON!**_

 _His vision's starting to tunnel and his lungs are burning with the lack of oxygen. It won't be long before his body surrenders to the need to_ _ **breathe.**_ _He's giving it all his strength and still the door won't budge._

 _This might be it._

 _ **Zeb...I'm sorry. I didn't mean for this to be the end. I want my last thought to be of you...you and Lia.**_

 _But just as he's losing his battle against his own body, the door moves, sending water bursting into the next chamber. But instead of spilling him into the next chamber, he finds himself dropped into the small, secret home he'd first discovered Arkalia in. Except now it's not burning down and her mother is alive, smiling as she nurses her._

 _"Arekaya," he says softly, feeling something painful clench at his heart. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you."_

 _Then her father, Kazari, enters from the next room, smiling down at his wife and child before giving them each a kiss, Arekaya on the lips and Lia on the top of her tiny, fuzzy head. The baby Lasat coos sweetly as she releases her mother's breast._

 _"We did it," Kazari whispers to them. "We're free."_

 _But then Arekaya's face is as he saw it on the day she died_ – _desperate, crushed, and blood-spattered._

 _"You stole her," she accuses him. "You took my child away from me!"_

 _"N- no!" he tries to protest. "She would've_ _ **died. She would've**_ _ **died!**_ _"_

 _"Maybe that would've been better...better than letting her fall back into Imperial hands."_

 _Then he sees himself in full riot gear, a look of intensity and anger in his eyes as he aims a disruptor rifle down a street. Feeling something wriggling in his arms, he looks down to see Arkalia held there. And he realizes..._

 _ **He's**_ _the mother, the Lasat woman he remembers every night in his nightmares. And Arkalia..._

 _"_ _ **No! STOP!**_ _" he screams desperately, but nothing will stop that look in his eyes, and all too soon, they're bathed in a green glow. He tries to shield her, but it's useless. He can only watch helplessly as his little girl screams in pain and fear, her bright, beautiful eyes boiling briefly in her head before she simply twists into smoke and ash. The crushing agony of his own atoms beginning to separate is nothing beside the pain of losing her. When he screams, it's for her, not for himself._

 _The air is quickly filled with smoke and fire. Unhindered by the lack of visibility, he moves through the glowing darkness, searching for something. He finds that something in the form of a downed Imperial soldier lying among the smoldering underbrush. Surveying the boy for a moment, he picks him up, and it's in that moment he realizes._

 _His hands are purple, furry, and clawed. The hands of a Lasat._

 _ **Oh, stars.**_

 _Even though the young soldier's hair is streaked with mud and blood, he still recognizes its distinct auburn color and the brown eyes he shares with his sister._

 _Alain Trance._

 _The first of his unit to die. And as he watches those hands that are his and not his, he thinks he knows how._

 _The hands squeeze Trance's head, tighter and tighter, until he's screaming and the bones crunch, the sound fading into a sick gurgling noise._

 _He tosses the boy aside like so much garbage, knowing who it will be next. And he's not disappointed by the sight of Gad Tenar's badly mangled face. The mercy of it doesn't make it any easier to shoot him._

 _Klaidi's next. His massive feet stomp through the underbrush to crush her against the scorched dirt as she struggles to crawl away._

 _ **Not this. Why this? I can't bear it. I can't do**_ _ **anything**_ _**to stop this!**_

 _"No...no...oh, stars,_ _ **please!**_ _" she begs, clawing at those nightmare feet. But her desperation doesn't stop him from further crushing her chest and shooting her through the head._

 _ **Murderer. Mallana! MURDERER!**_

 _Nearly half of Orha's upper body is gone, and yet he still pleads for life in the face of certain death, raising the only hand he still has._

 _"Mercy...mercy...please..."_

 _But he meets the same fate as all the others._

 _And last of all, the exchange of fire with Alita Kuron. The snap of pain from her graze wound isn't enough to distract him from the pain of watching bo-rifle fire rip through her chest. On her knees, she glares defiantly up at him._

 _"Just go to hell..._ _ **monster.**_ _"_

 _Only one more shot and it's all over._

 _"If you ask me again why I didn't kill you," the Lasat says aloud, "the only answer you shall receive is this. Why, by the Ashla, would I kill my_ _ **self?**_ _"_

 _ **Shut up. Shut up! SHUT UP!**_ _he screams inside his own head, nothing more than a voice, the faintest whisper of a being._ _ **I'm nothing like you! I**_ _ **hate you!**_

 _"You hate me?" the mercenary asks with a mocking laugh. "You_ _ **are**_ _me."_

 _The last is spoken in a strange dual voice. It's the Lasat and...and Schader. And the moment he comprehends that, he's on his knees before her, her staff poised against the control panel of the sensory deprivation unit, ready to deliver her killing blow. Her sightless eyes glare accusingly into his._

 _"You betray all of us just for a bit of alien cock! Little rebel_ _ **slut!**_ _"_

 _"It isn't like that!"_

 _"Or maybe it's_ _ **always**_ _been like that. Maybe you were hungry for Lasat prick even then. Did you let Alain die that day?" she demands in a deadly whisper._

 _"No! I miss them every_ _ **day**_ _, Schader. Not a day goes by I don't try to think what I could've done to save them. I just- I_ _ **couldn't**_ _-" he struggles to explain himself, his throat tight with a sob._

 _"Reliving it is nothing, Alexsandr Kallus. I_ _ **died**_ _that day! They took my little brother from me."_

 _"You can't blame an entire race for the mistakes of one," he tries to reason with her._

 _"_ _ **You**_ _did. Once. You went down to Lasan for the same reason I did that day. Vengeance."_

 _"But I_ _ **found**_ _something more. Something I could never see from the Empire."_

 _"Well, I hope that will be a comfort to you in the nights to come. When you ask yourself what you could have done to save_ _ **his**_ _life!" she snarls as she drives her staff into the control panel._

"ZEB!" he tried to scream as he jolted into consciousness, but the sound was mostly lost in a breath mask. When his eyes snapped open, he found his vision blurred by the sticky press of bacta. Without much thought, he threw his hands out in front of him, fingers coming into contact with the plexi-glass walls of the tank he was suspended in.

This- where was he? What...?

Zeb! The others! What had happened? Did they make it out? Or had they been captured again? What was the last thing he...?

 _Zeb's forehead pressed against his...being held in the Lasat's embrace..."L'ashkerrir an. L'ashkerrir an."_

"Agent ISB-021, I need you to remain calm now," the voice of a medical droid was suddenly piped into the tank. "You were seriously injured in a skirmish with insurgents. You've been in bacta suspension for nearly two weeks. I'm going to let you out now, but I need you to keep still a moment."

 _Two_ _ **weeks?**_ he thought in sheer terror. If he'd been out that long and Zeb and the others had been captured they were long _dead_ by now. If he had let his family _die_ _again_ , useless to them in this tank, he didn't think he could live with it. He might as well die here. Faintly, he became aware of alarms from the system that was monitoring his vitals. Increased heart rate and shortness of breath, no doubt.

"Agent ISB-021, if you are unable to remain calm, I will be forced to sedate you again," the droid warned him.

 _Control. Control. You_ _ **have**_ _to keep control,_ he scolded himself. There was no sense in panicking yet, not when he didn't know their fate. If there was cause for a breakdown, he should be sure of it first. So, wrangling his breathing into an even pattern, he forced himself to keep still as he was lifted from the tank. He coughed several times when they removed the breath mask from his face, but once he was breathing properly, he took a knee beside the tank.

"Where am I?" he asked the med droid, being careful not to sound too anxious over the answer.

"You are aboard the Star Destroyer _Chimaera._ You were released into the care of the Seventh Fleet's medical facilities following the action on Manaan."

The _Chimaera?_ He wouldn't have been released to the Seventh Fleet's care unless Thrawn had specifically requested it. And that was either a very good thing...or a very bad thing. He would need one hell of a story if, by some miracle, he hadn't been found out.

"Can you tell me your name, Agent?" the droid asked him.

"Alexsandr Kallus, Imperial Security Bureau 021," he answered automatically.

"And what is the last thing you remember?"

 _"Go...go, my love...g- go. There's- no time._ _ **Go.**_ _"_

 _Zeb's terrified, broken gaze..._

 _"Sorrer an astyr revat falna bogtyl. L'ashkerrir an. L'ashkerrir an."_

 _"La sylf hasher an jital."_

 _Whispering on his last conscious breath, those wide green eyes the last thing to register before he's gone._

"I was- fighting with one of the escaped Lasat. He...stabbed me. Nothing else. But- the operation...what happened? Did we capture them?"

"I've informed Grand Admiral Thrawn of your recovery. He should be in shortly. Only he can tell you more."

Be in to what? Arrest him? Congratulate him on a job well done? Scold him for yet another failure? There was no way to know. He could only wait. Although, if he was under arrest, there would likely be more security present. So maybe...?

"It is good to see you on the mend, Agent Kallus," the Chiss said as he entered the medical suite.

"Grand Admiral," Kallus acknowledged as he rose swiftly to his feet, standing at attention before remembering that he was still in nothing but his undershorts. "I- the fighting...after I went down...what happened?"

"Unfortunately, our forces were unable to rally and Spectre Cell managed to escape with all of the Lasat subjects."

Relief broke through Kallus like the sweetest wave. So they were alive. All of them. They'd made it out. But before he'd even really had the opportunity to take that in, Thrawn was already continuing.

"Though it seems the final rebel ship was able to escape using an ISB emergency override code. Have you any idea how these rebels might have come by such knowledge?"

Kallus put a look of shocked anger on his face while he allowed himself space to be thinking the question over. Then he allowed quiet horror to overtake his face as he looked back up at the grand admiral.

"I think...there's a distinct possibility they may have gotten it from _me._ "

Thrawn raised an eyebrow at him. " _How_ is that possible?"

"When the Spectres held me prisoner...I was not always cognizant of the sorts of mind tricks the Jedi was working on me. We undergo training to withstand interrogation. That much is true, but there is only so much that can be done against a Jedi. It's possible I may have given away data I deemed less valuable to protect more important secrets. Do you know if it was a 999 code?"

"I believe it was, yes."

"That would fit the time frame of my capture then. Older, but it still would've checked out. The 999 series will need to be wiped immediately. This is my fault," he said, channeling frustration into his tone. "We might have at least taken _one_ of the ships if not for me."

"You can only be expected to shoulder so much blame, Agent Kallus. It may be that you protected something of even greater value than a few codes. Though, on the subject of shoulders, I will find it helpful for you to fill in some of the gaps during the events of the flooding."

"What information do you require?" he asked. Shoulders? What-

The dislocated shoulder Kanan had set for him! It would've come up in his exam. Thrawn wanted to know why it wasn't still broken.

"Simply that you account for your whereabouts after being sealed inside the control center with Spectre Cell. You are, after all, the only witness to Colonel Masaada's death."

"Unfortunately, I wasn't actually present for it. Had I been in time, I might have been able to assist her."

"What happened then?"

"I do not know how the rebels escaped the control center. All I know is that I was alone there when I came to after the younger Jedi knocked me out. I commed Colonel Masaada to learn what was happening and she told me to get to her office. She may have already been in trouble by that point. I got there as fast as I could, but I was already too late. The Jedi had killed her."

"You fought with the Jedi?"

"Yes," he answered, not untruthfully. After all, he _had_ fought with Kanan. Albeit, side by side with Kanan, but had still fought with him nonetheless. "We fought until I was thrown down. The impact with the floor dislocated my shoulder and before I could regain my feet, he had fled. I would've pursued, but the installation was already half-flooded by then and I was badly injured. There wasn't time."

"Understandable. So you realigned your _own_ shoulder?"

"Not well, I imagine, but I had few options. If I hadn't done, I don't think I would've been able to make it out alive. The way through the flooding was treacherous at best."

"Of course. Of course. The rest I am familiar with. However, if I may, Agent Kallus, you seem...quite fixated on the Lasat people. Is this merely because codename Spectre Four is a Lasat...or is it because of your involvement in the action on Lasan sixteen years ago?"

Kallus couldn't keep himself from stiffening slightly at the inquiry. Thrawn was pressing him again, searching for personal information, likely just to see exactly _how_ he responded. But how much truth could he give the Chiss without allowing him to read him too easily? He couldn't just give him the truth he'd given Zeb on Bahryn. Even now, he didn't know what had caused him to do it then, but this...something about this felt wrong; and if he'd learned anything from Kanan this time around, it was to trust one's feelings. Only...Thrawn needed a truth and he needed one _now_.

"All told, my...past dealings with the Lasat have not been pleasant," he answered, going more for bad memories and not like he had something to hide. Besides, this was also not a lie. His meaning was that it had not been pleasant for the Lasat. It was hardly his fault his colleagues would take his meaning as it had been unpleasant for him.

"And what is there to be told?"

Kallus swallowed heavily, keeping his gaze carefully cast down. "We _all_ have things to be told, I would say. Things that shape who we are...who we think we want to be...things that are ours alone to know," he said, finally looking up to meet the Chiss' glowing eyes. "I imagine you have things to tell, as well...reasons as to _why_ you seem so keen to understand me."

The grand admiral raised a single blue-black brow at his words, offering no more expression than that. "You would not be wrong, Agent Kallus. You have proven no less of an enigma to me these last months."

Kallus shook his head. "I couldn't guess _why_ I intrigue you so. I've never considered myself a particularly complicated person. All I want...all I _need_...is to serve a greater good...to serve justice."

Keeping careful stock of his superior's facial expressions as he spoke, the former Imperial just managed to catch the slight inhale when he spoke the word 'need', leaving him fearful it may have been a poor addendum. But Thrawn ultimately shook his head in kind.

"And therein lies the spark of my interest. There are many who _profess_ such sentiments, but you...I believe you actually _mean_ them, and I have yet to determine just _what_ that means."

"In my mind, it means only 'do right', but if you feel there's more to be gleaned from that, by all means, go on looking," Kallus invited, as if the very thought didn't strike fear straight to the core of him.

If Kallus had to describe Thrawn's small twist of an expression in that moment, he would've termed it amused exasperation. It was little more than a tilt of the head and a curl of the mouth, but for Thrawn it may as well have been a giant flashing sign. "I will do so, agent. After all, you will be with us a few cycles yet before my medical officer deems you sufficiently recovered for active duty."

"Cycles, Sir?" he asked. Just how long did Thrawn plan to keep him aboard the _Chimaera_?

"Naturally. I realize the requisite recovery period may be disruptive for your caseload, but I'm sure the ISB will understand. I will speak with Colonel Yularen personally. After all, pressing on through exhaustion and injury, while admirable, will inevitably lead to missteps, and I'm certain none of us want that," the Chiss stated before handing him a towel.

Strangely, though Kallus had spent the entire interview more than half-naked and dripping in bacta, it wasn't until that moment that he truly felt laid bare beneath Thrawn's piercing gaze. It was a display of control and he felt confident Thrawn knew he was aware of it, so he did his level best to display nothing but cool assurance while the Chiss watched him towel himself dry.

"No. Certainly not."

XxX

"Y'know, just once I'd like to be called to the Command center for _good news_ ," Zeb growled as he strode through the base, barely even aware of Arkalia as she climbed around on his shoulders like a well-built frame.

"How do you _know_ it's not good news?" Rex piped up from where he walked beside him. The Lasat growled, rolling his eyes in annoyance as he looked over at him.

"Let's see. They called us both in and they told me to bring Kali along. Yeah, no. I'm sure they're just throwin' us a parade."

"Well, hope for the best, prepare for the worst. Gotta get through the day somehow," the clone captain said with a shrug.

"Mlalalala. Arrarr!" Arkalia trilled excitedly, hanging upside down from Zeb's arm with a single foot.

"Think so, missy?" Rex asked the little girl as Zeb lifted her up to his eye height, reaching out to tickle her tummy. The kit laughed as she scrambled back over to Zeb's other arm. Rex grinned as he peeked at her around the Lasat's chest. "Oh, no you don't, little girl. You can't hide from me. I'm gonna get you."

The little game of Zeb tag continued in this manner throughout the walk to the Command center, with Arkalia scuttling all over him and Rex just missing catching her as she moved from side to side. When they reached their destination, Zeb finally wrangled the mischievous little thing into his arms, cuddling her close as they all laughed. Both men subconsciously carried the sound with them into the center, cleaving tightly to it when they saw the solemn expressions of Hera, Kanan, and Sato.

"So what's goin' on?" Zeb asked. "You wanted to see us."

"Right," Kanan began. "Zeb, I'm sorry I haven't brought this up before now, but you know things have been a little hectic these last few weeks."

"What is it? What's wrong?" he pressed.

"I...well...I discovered something about Ash Warrior...back when we were on Manaan."

"What _kind_ of something?" he growled warningly through gritted teeth. Barely five minutes into the conversation and he was already on edge.

"Rex, this- concerns you, too. That's why we called you both."

"Can't help noticing you still haven't said why," Rex pointed out.

"I told you that Kallus and I fought with...two of the project's _graduates_ ," the Jedi said with a disgusted shudder. "But I never told you what it was we learned about their conditioning that day."

"Kanan-"

"They're implanted with inhibitor chips," the knight finally bit out. As the implications of what he'd said descended on Zeb, his gaze flicked from Kanan over to Rex, whose eyes were widening in horror.

"Oh, _no._ "

"I couldn't say for certain if it's all of them or not, but at the very least, it looks like any of the children born in the facility would've been implanted with an inhibitor chip. And these- what they do...they're even _worse_ than what the Kaminoans implanted in the clones."

"How could they _possibly_ be worse?" Rex asked in a whisper, old anguish shining in his weary eyes. "What's worse than being _forced_ to turn on a friend, a brother-in-arms, someone you _trust_...and to not even know it's happening? _What?_ "

Kanan swallowed heavily at their friend's demand. If there'd been more of an expression visible beneath his mask, Zeb imagined it would've been pain.

"Your chips only stopped you from questioning Order 66. These chips...they erase identity...wipe memory. They leave behind only the warrior training Zaniva wanted its soldiers to have."

Rex inhaled sharply at Kanan's explanation, hands curling into fists as he began to shake with rage. Then he hissed in Mando'a, " _Mies_ _ **demagolka.**_ "

"Rex," Hera continued gently, trying to draw him back to the present moment. "We'd hoped you might be able to tell us more about the implantation process. Only if you're feeling up for it, of course."

The clone shook himself off, struggling for a moment to master himself. By the time he managed to speak again, it was with closed eyes and a mildly trembling voice. "Those chips...they were implanted in clone embryos upon reaching stage four development. We were born with them in our heads...all of us," he said, voice dropping to a whisper at the last.

"Then every last one of these _children_..." Hera started, unable to bring herself to finish.

"They'll _all_ have chips in their heads," Kanan finished.

"Then at least we have a place to begin," Sato pointed out. "We'll know who to scan to learn what it is we're looking for."

"All of the mothers in late stage pregnancy, too," Hera added. "Their babies would've been implanted with the chips."

"Do...do you think they know?" Zeb asked as he glanced between his friends and Arkalia, speaking for the first time since the reveal.

"They might not," Kanan said. "It could've been another tool of Zaniva's...to break their prisoners down. If they implanted their children in secret, and began to operate them without the parents' knowledge...those parents would've had to watch...every day...as a little more of their child faded away...until there was nothing left."

" _Stars_ ," Hera whispered in horror. "To have to watch that happen...and to not understand _why_..."

" _Save tulchuuri,_ " Zeb snarled quietly, clutching Arkalia a little tighter in his arms. Then he vowed, " _Luah sylf elir zana sel kalash._ " But then he noticed the little kit starting to protest the tight hold, and it occurred to him. "Why did you want me to bring her?"

"What now?" Rex asked, glancing over at them.

"You asked me to bring Kali to this meeting. Why?" he asked again, even though he had a sinking suspicion he _knew_ why.

"We don't know...if Arkalia is a product of Project Ash Warrior," Kanan started.

"Except that we do," Zeb interrupted as the realization washed through him – the memory of the first time he'd heard the words Zaniva...Project Ash Warrior. "That recon droid...he identified her as a genetic match for Ash Warrior...as their _inventory_."

"Oh, hells. That's right. I'd forgotten," Kanan groaned. "But...if it only identified her as a genetic match and not specifically as a subject, maybe it only recognized her parents in her. It could be she was conceived after they escaped. Or that her mother was just in the early stages of her pregnancy."

"Or it could be her mom was late stage when they got out and she's already got one of those things," he snarled quietly, in pain. The next thing he noticed was Arkalia whimpering uncertainly. She'd stopped cooing when she'd noticed he wasn't smiling, and now when he looked down at her it was to see her blinking large, fearful eyes up at him.

"Guurrri?" she whimpered softly, as if she'd actually spoken a word. Leaning against him and spreading her gangly arms as far across his broad chest as they would go, she hugged him. Shivering, he hugged her a little tighter, wondering what _monster_ could do such a thing to a sweet, innocent baby girl.

"We can remove it," Hera reminded him as she came to them, sympathy in her eyes as she laid a hand on his shoulder. Glancing over at Rex, she asked, "Isn't that right?"

"It can be done, but I wouldn't use little Kali as your first test," the clone said solemnly. "She's- so young. Until we know what we're actually dealing with here, I'd have a look at one of the older nipper's heads. Find out exactly what it's gonna take to remove these chips. And there's just...so many of 'em. We're not gonna be able to do this all at once. Not with so many new ones on the way."

"But we can at least get started, yes?" Hera prompted.

"Well, sure we-"

"ZEB!" Ezra's urgent voice suddenly broke into the command center, he and Zelina racing in looking just as urgent as the shout had merited. Kestry was also clinging tightly to the young Jedi's back.

"What's goin' on?"

"It's Reith," Ezra panted out. "She went into labor late last night and didn't tell anybody. Rihima went down to the camp already, but Kar wanted me to find you and Zelina."

"Aw, karabast. Stubborn mogfish. Can you-" he didn't even have to finish asking before Hera took Arkalia in her arms.

"Go."

He and Zelina were off like shots, him barely remembering to let the young Mandalorian keep pace with him.

"Were they expecting her labor to be difficult?" Zelina asked as they ran.

"Little bit...I think. She told me this one's her thirteenth. And that's not countin' the two that didn't make it. She's not too old to be havin' kits, but- after havin' so _many_..."

"Right," the young medic conceded.

"It's also hard for any Lasat...bein' outta the trees. That's how it's done at home...on Lasan. Nice little cradle of branches...but I guess they've adjusted to doin' without that all this time. What about you? This your first birth?" he asked her.

"First Lasat, I guess. I did help my dad deliver a Cathar litter once, and I've seen a few human births. But really, I'll take anything Rihima wants to teach me."

Oriane Rihima was Phoenix Cell's lead medic. Not that that left much for the elder Zabrak woman to be lead medic of. Counting Zelina, the cell had five medics, and of those five Rihima was the only one who had any kind of proper experience with obstetrics. She'd been studying Lasat physiology as best she could since the Ash Warrior refugees had been brought to Atollon, and studying well from the look of things when Zeb and Zelina entered the medical tent that had been set up in the ramshackle camp. Alreitha was laid out on a pallet with several other women gathered around her while Rihima knelt in front of her, giving direction as needed and monitoring the progress of the birth. Many of the women were singing an old Lasana birthing chant to speed the process.

"Zeb!" Kar called from the far side of the tent when he noticed them enter.

"How's it comin'?" he asked his friend as he moved toward them.

"Hard to say without proper scanning equipment. Your medic thinks the baby's turned wrong. She's been trying to turn it back from the outside."

"Tiri, Omira, I need you to help her spread her legs a little wider," the Zabrak instructed the two women at Reith's feet. They were both gripping a single large foot in both hands, Reith returning that grip with her own monumental strength, on top of the untapped strength all mothers seemed to receive during childbirth. While they worked, Rihima kept her hands on the former guardswoman's swollen belly, attempting to encourage some kind of change in direction. "Stick with me, Reith. You're doing well. I just need you not to push a little longer."

Reith's only response was a loud snarl of pain, her body writhing beneath the medic's hands as it struggled to hold back the tide it wanted to release. Zeb saw Tiri wince in pain when one of the older woman's claws pierced her.

"Zelina, did you bring that backup handscan?" Rihima called over her shoulder, as if the young medic had been there all along and hadn't only just arrived. "Mine shorted out."

"It's right here," the Mandalorian offered up, heading to the older woman's side without hesitation. Rihima took the device in hand without another word. While they worked, Zeb moved around to Reith's side, thinking maybe to distract her.

"Hey, Reith," he called to her, reaching out to brush his wrist against her arm. She offered him a smile that was half pain and half annoyance.

"H- hey...brat," she ground out, cutting her teeth on the Basic version of her name for him. "Little different...than what you're used to...I guess."

Zeb shrugged. "I was around for Zora's two births."

"I...I need- your help...Zeb...my captain," she groaned, head falling back against the woman whose knees she rested against as a fresh cry of pain tore from her mouth.

"Reith, I'm not- I mean...I _saw_ Zora give birth, but I'm no expert. What do you need?" he asked her.

"Command me," she said simply through panted breaths.

"What?" he pressed, still uncomprehending.

"I need you...as my captain...to order me not to push. If I do...it will kill us both," she explained to him through her haze of pain.

It had been a long time since he'd taken on his mantle of command. It had begun to come back to him beneath Manaan's ocean, but something about the attitude still felt a little unfamiliar to him. He had tried to forget it out of guilt, because his best had not been good enough to save his people, and he was still wary of it. But Alreitha Rivani...Reith...she was more than just comrade to him. She was friend... _family_...had been part of his life since he was just a kit himself. Some of his earliest memories were of Reith and his sisters carrying him as they swung through the forests back home. So, reaching forward to take her head between his hands, he tilted her face to look her directly in the eye.

" _Jan Rivani,_ " he began in a firm voice, a leader to one in his command, " _La kallir an zashat. Val Ashla gal Tallan gal ah k'ashkerra an envir, La saverir an azallat._ "

Reith nodded slowly, steeling herself for the final fight. In the face of such a charge, she could hardly do less than emerge victorious.

"All right. I'm just going to have to do this manually," Rihima determined after glancing through the results from her scanner. "Zelina, I want you to pay close attention. You may need to do this on your own sometime."

The young Mandalorian nodded, watching everything Rihima did with laser focus.

"Reith, I can't perform a c-section on you. We've neither the time nor the necessary supplies," she explained to the Lasat woman. "I need to reach in and turn the baby myself. There will be pain. Worse than any you've ever experienced in a birth, I'm certain. Are you ready for it?"

Reith nodded solemnly, gripping tighter with both hands and feet. "I can bear it. Save my child."

Nodding in kind, Rihima braced her hand on Reith's hip, tossing the long purple braid of her hair back over her shoulder to keep it out of the way. "I don't want you to fight screaming, but I'll need you to fight passing out as long as you can. So long as you still have control over whether or not you push, we still have a shot at this."

That was all the warning she gave before pushing her free hand inside Reith's body, pressing in nearly up to her elbow in order to reach inside the Lasat's womb. Reith's response to this initial penetration was nothing more than winces and grunts of pain, but when Rihima actually began to turn the baby's small body within her, then she began to scream.

Zeb didn't know that he had ever heard such a sound in all his life. He had seen death and destruction reign across the galaxy, had witnessed the mass murder of his own people, and he never heard a sound quite like Alreitha's scream of agony. It took several minutes of intense, focused work from Rihima and that horrific shrieking from Reith, but when the medic finally gave a cry of triumph, something in Reith's eyes just _broke._

"Reith?" Zeb called to her, shaking her. No response. " _Reith?_ "

 _No. Please no._

The baby came quickly after that, needing little more than a few minutes to slip free of Reith's exhausted body, but Reith herself wasn't aware of it. Her wide green eyes gazed unseeingly up at the roof of the tent.

Rihima quickly cut the baby free of its mother, passing the newborn to Zelina to take care of while she saw to Reith.

"Reith?" Zeb heard Kar whispering somewhere behind him.

"I give you an order...and you immediately turn around and disobey it?" Zeb demanded quietly as he looked down at her. "Is that really the kind of warrior you are? Come on. Wake up. _Wake. Up._ "

 _Reith'ika...I may have lost Alex. I can't lose you, too. It'll be like losing my sisters all over again. Please..._

Rihima didn't give up, though. She kept at it until the former guardswoman inhaled sharply, her eyes blinking rapidly as the light returned to them.

"H- hey," Kar called out in relieved amazement as he came to crouch beside them, reaching a hand out for Reith's. "You- gave us a bit of a turn there."

Reith sighed as she closed her eyes, plainly exhausted. "You should know me better than that, boy." Within moments, though, those eyes had burst back open, darting frantically about the space as she tried to sit up. "My- my little one. Where is she? My girl!"

"Calm down. Calm down," Zeb scolded her, placing his hands at her shoulders to prevent her from rising.

"You were right, though," Zelina's happy voice chimed in as she reentered the tent, carrying a little bundle wrapped in a small length of cloth. "It _is_ a girl."

"Got a name?" Zeb asked as the young medic brought the baby girl to her mother. The little one was apparently too exhausted for crying. She gave a wide yawn before resting her tiny, fluffy head against Reith's breast.

"Twelve sons," Reith said softly as she beheld the little girl, gently nuzzling her. "Twelve boys have I had of my partner. She is my first girl...my daughter. I knew it from the first. There's only one name for her. My last child's name is Ashvyr."

"Ash," Zeb whispered, feeling something tighten in his throat as he looked on Reith's tearful smile. The baby was named for Reith's best friend – his older sister.

Ashvyr Orrelios.

"Ashvyr, daughter of Rivani," Kar said in a reverent tone, leaning in to kiss the top of his daughter's head. "May she be strong and wise."

"Ash'aki," he said quietly, reaching forward to stroke the fur under her chin. The endearment was almost strange attached to his strong, smart-mouthed big sister's name, but he didn't doubt it would grow on him. When he heard a familiar coo, he quickly looked to the tent opening to see his own family standing there. Kanan and Hera, arms around each other with Arkalia cradled between them, Rex and Chopper, the droid wheedling back and forth on his treads as he warbled, and Ezra with Kestry sitting on his shoulder. All of them were smiling.

Only two faces were missing.

Sabine and Alex.

"Not too many at a time," Rihima scolded mildly before anyone could enter the tent. "Mother and child need their rest."

"Kestry, then," Zeb said. "Come and meet your sister. Bring Kali over with you."

Kestry nodded, allowing Ezra to set him down. Then Hera settled Arkalia on his small shoulders. Kali needed a moment to adjust to the height difference, but Kestry was quite used to handling smaller children. He carried her quickly to Zeb's side, offering her up to him before climbing into his own father's arms. Kar lifted him up to have a look at little Ash.

"She's so little," the boy whispered, not having to be reminded to be gentle when he reached out to pat her head. "And...we get to keep this one?"

Several tears slipped from Reith's eyes at his words, but she was still smiling when she answered, "Yes, _ni kyra._ We will never have to give away another baby brother or sister ever again."

Zeb smiled as he watched the little family. He might almost concede to tears of his own as he listened to Arkalia coo, reaching a little paw out toward the younger baby. They would grow up together, Ash and Kali, and even if he wasn't there to see it, he would be happy to know they were living on a world that was safe, far away from war.

 _Alex...I wish you could be here to see this. You'd love it. Please...please come home to me, ni ashkerra._

XxX

(A/N) Well, I hope that ending will leave you a little less torn up than the last chapter's. Also I swear I didn't plan that sex scene. Hera and Kanan just sort of ran away from me and did their own thing.

So it's now been a little over a year since I started working on this story, and as it stands I would guess we're a little less than two-thirds of the way through it. Heheh, how do I always manage to write myself into these epics? On that note, I will leave you with my usual line up of Lasana/Mando'a translations.

 _Mies_ _ **demagolka**_ \- Those monsters

Savè tulchuurri - Those beasts

Luah sylf elir zana sel kalash - They will die bathed in fire

Jan Rivani, La kallir an zashat. Val Ashla gal Tallan gal ah k'ashkerra an envir, La saverir an azallat - Guard Rivani, I order you to live. By the Ashla and the Blood and she whose love you bear, I charge you to survive

And that should be all. Until next time, m'dears! ;D


	14. A Hangman's Knot and Three Mouths to Fee

(A/N) Hello once again, my fellow Rebels fans! So...this chapter was a bit of an odyssey. As you may or may not have heard, I actually lost roughly the first half of this new chapter during an OS update for my computer, so I basically had to go back through and reconstruct the missing scenes from memory and the few scraps I had in my notebook. So is it the same chapter you would have gotten? Unfortunately, no, and that deeply saddens me, as I recall really liking what I had before, but I just couldn't manage to reconstruct it all exactly. It's not bad or anything, it's just not...quite what it was. So I apologize and hope you still enjoy. Only other thing I can think to mention is that this chapter I will be bringing you Star Wars Art Critic - Grand Admiral Thrawn Edition.

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 14: A Hangman's Knot and Three Mouths to Feed_

Honestly, who knew downtime was so much work?

Well, Kallus supposed most Imperial officers undergoing enforced recovery were not also moonlighting as rebel spies, so that _might_ have had something to do with the stress of it, but that was neither here nor there so far as he was concerned. He would've been going stir crazy even if he _hadn't_ been in fear of being outed as a spy.

Thrawn wouldn't even allow him to assist with simple bookkeeping or office work tasks, insisting he follow the letter as well as the spirit of the recovery period regulations. It was unfortunate, really, because clerical espionage was a task he excelled at. No one ever wanted to tackle the endless streams of datawork that were necessary to keep a regime running, but when you knew how they worked and were willing to immerse yourself in them, well...then you could become the master of the system.

It would've been a feather in his cap indeed to begin sowing discord aboard the _Chimaera_ itself, the heart of the Seventh Fleet. But it might have also been a terrible risk. Thrawn was no fool, after all. And Kallus knew it would take only one wrong move for the Chiss to have him all figured out. In the grand scheme of things, espionage aboard this Star Destroyer was just too dangerous. That didn't mean, however, that he couldn't be on the listen for useable intelligence. Yet another reason he was annoyed at Thrawn's insistence he continue his rest period. It left him too much on his own to consider the noose closing around his neck. Worse still, to consider what Zeb must be going through right now.

So far as the Lasat knew, he might be dead already. The Rebellion had received no Fulcrum transmissions from him these last few weeks and there was no way he was going to risk sending the Fulcrum signal from the _Chimaera_. The Spectres had received no word from him personally...but was that a risk he perhaps _did_ dare to take? After all, Zeb was likely tearing himself up. If there was _anything_ he could do to ease his lover's pain – anything at _all_ – didn't he have the responsibility to take that risk?

He had many ways to communicate with Zeb unrelated to his Fulcrum channels. Unfortunately, most of those ways were tied to his personal civilian datapad back aboard the _Lawbringer_. He had personal frequencies for Zeb and the other Spectres, but he didn't dare utilize any of them while still aboard the _Chimaera_. The risk of trace was just too great. Even their emergency channel he couldn't guarantee would be fully secure from this location. As such, his only option was to use one of the pirated frequencies he and Zeb kept on hand. Such a little thing would only register as comm static within the matrix of the Star Destroyer's communications network.

So, within the relative safety of his temporary quarters, Kallus booted up a datapad he'd conveniently borrowed from maintenance; something he could wipe and reformat after the fact. Then, starting off in Lasana as an added layer of security for any unusually diligent comms officers, he tapped out a message, sending it to ping from one end of the galaxy to the other before arriving at its scrambled destination, unknown even to him.

 **[306956FNQ]:** San syv arrin avashty?

It didn't take more than a minute for Zeb to accept the connection, quickly typing out his own message.

 **[302768RDG]:** KAL? Sanin an?

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** An _rokirin_ san. Mal _san_ syv arrin avashty?

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Eri.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** I can't talk long, but I _had_ to speak with you. I wanted to make sure you were all right.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** ME? You were the one who- Karabast, Kal, where have you been? It's only been a kriffin MONTH!

Kallus shook his head, smiling faintly as he tapped out his next response.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** It has not. It's been two weeks and four days. I was in bacta suspension for two weeks. That's why I haven't been in touch.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** But you're all right?

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** The shoulder's still a bit stiff, but otherwise yes. Full recovery.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Alex...why did you do that?

The agent stiffened faintly upon seeing the question. He delayed his response by trying to play dumb.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Do what?

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** You _let_ Kar stab you. I couldn't see much that day, but I could see that. You didn't even _try_ to protect yourself. Why?

Kallus sighed as he thought it over. There were many reasons. Reasons and reasons again, many of which he didn't imagine Zeb would like, so he attempted to stick with the practical in responding.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Of the two of us, I was the one who had all the information in that fight, so I had to choose how it ended. If I'd let it go on, you wouldn't have been able to escape. Besides, he's your friend. I didn't want to hurt him.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** So you get hurt instead? Hope that wasn't supposed to make me feel better.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** I'm sorry to make you worry, but I truly am all right.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Then why'd it take you so long to let me know? Where _are_ you anyway?

The former Imperial hesitated a long moment before typing out his next response. Zeb _really_ wasn't going to like this one.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** At the moment, I'm aboard the _Chimaera_.

For a moment, there was no response. It gave Kallus just enough space to picture the shocked realization fluffing up the Lasat's fur before-

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** The CHIMAERA? Thrawn's kriffin flag ship? The center a' the whole Seventh Fleet?! What the kriffin hells are you doin there, Alex?

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** It's not by choice, I assure you. Thrawn had me transferred to the care of the Seventh Fleet's medical section while I was still under. He...insists I carry out my recovery period aboard the _Chimaera_. That's why I haven't been in touch. This isn't easy.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Alex

Another pause between this and the Lasat's next response.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Do you remember what I said to you when we left Alluvium?

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Zeb.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** _Do you remember?_

Alex sighed heavily before typing out his answer.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Of course I remember. I'm to think about the situations I get myself into and consider how I would respond were it you in my place.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** And how would you respond if it was _me_ onboard the Chimaera?

Kallus swallowed painfully at the thought. He would be lying if he said the very idea didn't make his stomach turn, but it would also be a slightly different situation if Zeb were aboard the _Chimaera_.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Probably threaten to blow up Coruscant if you weren't released.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** So what do you expect me to do right now? Cuz I can do that if you want.

The agent gave a small laugh at that one, though he sighed as he typed out his next reply.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** As romantic a gesture as wholesale arson surely is, this is a somewhat different situation. I can't just leave. The mandated recovery period lasts another four cycles.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** You could probably leave if there was some sort of emergency...

Alex stared at the screen for a hard minute, irritation bristling along his shoulders.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Zeb, I hope you aren't thinking of doing something foolish. It's only four _days_ , for stars' sake.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** And I didn't know if you were dead or alive for two weeks, so call me a little foolish. They were the longest of my life. Those two weeks...

Feeling a fresh trickle of guilt well up in his heart, Alex chewed on his lip a moment before answering.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** I'm sorry for what you've been through. I can only imagine what it must have been like...to go so long without knowing. But I promise you this will be over before long. There's nothing to worry about. I will soon be gone from here.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** If there's nothin to worry about, why is Thrawn insistin on keepin you so close? Seems to me that oughta worry you.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** I don't deny that Thrawn has...an interest in me. But I don't think it's because he suspects me. I think it's because he hasn't been able to figure me out. I'm sure even the idea of that is both frustrating and...alluring to him.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** So you're gonna give him even _more_ opportunities to figure you out? Karabast, Kal.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** It's fine. It will all be fine. He won't catch me.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Would it honestly kill you to at least _think_ about cutting and running? If the stress of it all doesn't kill you, it might actually kill _me_. I know you'll say somethin ridiculous about how you haven't given enough, but you just about gave your _life_ to help the people you wronged. You _would_ have. Can't no livin being say you haven't given enough.

Alex felt his throat go tight as he read Zeb's words. The Lasat could never truly understand and he was at least glad of that, but it wasn't about breaking even. No atonement he could carry out could ever be equivalent to the screams of even _one_ murdered child. All he could really do was try to be better. To give the best he could. He owed the galaxy that much.

He needed several moments to just breathe before he could respond again.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Zeb...this isn't just about _my_ sins. It's not really about how _I_ feel at all. So long as I have the ability to carry out this mission, I've _got to do it._ No matter how many Fulcrum agents the rebellion trains, there may well never be another like me. I can do more good where I am now, so I'll do what I can while I can still do it.

The pause before Zeb's next reply was long enough it gave Alex enough time to picture his lover sighing, his expression sagging in defeat as he typed.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** You're right. I _hate_ that you're right, but it doesn't mean you're not right.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Thank you, Garazeb.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Don't gotta thank me. Just gotta stay alive long enough so I can scold you for it in person.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Of course. I should be terminating the connection very soon here, but I also wanted to ask how everyone's been doing. Are your people adjusting well? Are the other Spectres all right? How is Jidu?

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** They're all good. Ji's fine. More than fine. She's mostly recovered, and she's gettin along _very_ well with one of our new recruits.

Alex eyed the response sideways a moment before responding.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]: **You mean to say...

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Oh, I _mean_ all right. I've never heard a Syren screech like that before. I swear, those two'd be makin a baby of their own if they could.

The agent shook his head, laughing quietly.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Honestly, it doesn't surprise me at all. I believe Jidu Ailytè could seduce Tarkin himself out of his own governorship if the notion were to enter her head. But...some of the babies have been born then?

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Yeah. One girl and two boys so far. Everybody's doin good. We're just waitin on a few more to be born before we try to move em again.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Good sense. And how is Lia?

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** She's good. Gettin bigger every day. She likes seein all these new little ones. She's gonna have a lot of playmates when we take em to their new home.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Wonderful.

This was what he wrote, but it was far from what he felt.

 _You have to let her go. It's the best thing for her. You promised Arekaya you would get her somewhere safe._

 _But...she's_ _ **ours.**_

 _Yours? How precious. Will she be safe with you? Will she_ _ **ever**_ _be safe with you? If you care for her as a daughter, you must love her enough to give her up._

Thoughts unpleasantly darkened by his own thorough self-scolding, Kallus began to type again.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** I should be disconnecting. Give her a kiss for me?

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Might wake her up if I do it now, so it'll keep til morning, but sure. Only just got her down before your comm. She was fussy tonight.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Is it night there?

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Yeah. Might not have caught me if it wasn't. Busy times in the Rebellion against the Empire. At least you and Kali give me somethin to do in the night hours.

Kallus was about to sign off when he really thought about the last bit of Zeb's message. Had he _meant_ to phrase it that way?

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Ni ashkerra...

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Do I understand that to mean you aren't sleeping?

The length of the pause before Zeb began to respond told Kallus everything he needed to know, but still the Lasat attempted to offer up an explanation.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Not like that, no. I just meant when I need to be up for watch shifts. That kinda thing.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Zeb...would you lie to me?

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** No.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** Well, that answers the question right there.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** It's _not like that._ Things are just busy. You've got enough to worry about without havin to worry over me, too. So put it out of your mind. Pretty sure you said you had to disconnect. You should probably be gettin some rest yourself.

Alex gave another hard swallow as he tapped out his response, feeling guilt lodge in his chest. If this was happening because of him, because Zeb had been worrying over _him_...

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** I _love you_ , Garazeb. Of _course_ I'm going to worry over you. So let me have my worry.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** ]:** Fine, fine. You really don't need to be worryin about that, though. I'll see you. L'ashkerrir an.

 **[** ** **306956FNQ** ]:** I love you, too. Please get some sleep.

 **[** ** **302768RDG** Disconnected]**

Kallus felt his heart sink a little when Zeb didn't respond. Likely he would need to see about contacting Hera and Kanan, see if they knew anything about what might be happening.

For now, though, alone in his temp quarters once again, he pulled his recorder pendant out of his uniform, needing the feel of the smooth metal beneath his fingertips.

He wore the pendant always now. It was the first thing he'd asked after following Thrawn's questioning, relieved to learn that it hadn't been tampered with in any way. Being an ISB agent, he was allowed some leeway, but the little device wasn't all that different in appearance from a regulation Imperial tag unit. There wasn't really any cause for further probing. Even so, after the near miss with Konstantine, he was painstakingly careful with his treasure. He kept holos of the slain members of his first unit on the pendant – something that might've been expected of someone in his position. Beneath that, his true memories were kept safe by a complex layer of encryption that would take a painfully determined snoop to break through.

He didn't dare unlock the corder's true contents while still aboard the _Chimaera_ , unable to know if he was under surveillance at all times or not. Words on a datapad couldn't be picked up on a basic security hologram, but holo images certainly could be. Even though he couldn't open the pendant, it was a comfort to him to have it close. To feel its solid reality in the palm of his hand. Sighing, he offered up something of a silent prayer as he pressed the cool material to his forehead.

 _Zeb...Lia...I'll come back to you. I will do everything in my power to come back to you, but you do actually have to_ _ **be**_ _there when I come. Your survival is no less negotiable than mine is. I hope you know that._

Meanwhile, on the other end of the line, Zeb was getting back to doing exactly what Kallus feared he was doing.

He wasn't sleeping.

He hadn't been able to manage a decent night's sleep since Manaan. More than worrying over Alex's safety, he found he was still haunted by his experiences in the sens-dep unit. Any rest he managed was plagued by the macabre images induced by the hallucinogen Archrem had injected him with. Worse even than that were the nightmares of _nothingness_ – the endless expanse of oblivion that lay just behind his eyes whenever he tried to close them.

So rather than face the yawning void that hid just behind his eyes and beneath his soul, waiting to snap him up the moment he let his guard down, he ran from it. He took as many night watch shifts as he could get. He spent time in the Lasat encampment. He played with Kali and the little ones. He worked with Rex and Rihima to try and figure out the exact nature of the biochips Zaniva had been using. Hera and Kanan hadn't called him on it yet, but he could feel their worried attention shifting more and more in his direction all the time. So he just tried to lose himself in everything else. He hadn't really minded calming Kali before Alex's comm. It had given him something to focus on.

He looked fondly at the little kit in her cradle, sleeping peacefully. It had been moved from Sabine's room in her absence. She wouldn't be able to fit the tiny bed the Mandalorian had so lovingly hand-painted for much longer, but it was still a precious sight. More and more often these days, she would actually sleep with one of them. Mostly it would be him or Ezra or Rex, but she also seemed to be finding her way into Hera and Kanan's room with greater frequency, as well.

Tonight wasn't one of those nights, though, as all the others had already been asleep by the time he'd carried Kali back onto the _Ghost_. He was amazed she was still asleep right now, as Ezra had begun to snore pretty loudly, but she was out like a light, a sweet, drooly smile on her face.

Ezra, on the other hand, didn't seem to be quite so lucky anymore. He started awake from his latest snore, blue eyes blinking open as he took in his surroundings. When comprehension returned to them, he stared at the two Lasat for several moments in quiet.

"You finally get her to go down?" he asked, looking down at the baby girl with a warm smile.

"Yeah. That and Kal finally commed me. I was talkin' to him."

"He's all right?" Ezra asked, his look shifting to one of relief. "Y'know, that is still really weird. I'm actually _happy_ about Agent Kallus being alive."

"Heh, you'll get there, kid."

Ezra's gaze shifted to him, some insight that Zeb didn't imagine he'd like very much snapping into place as he looked at him.

"You going to bed soon?"

"Yeah," he lied. "I'm just gonna stay up with her a little longer."

XxX

Ezra knew there was trouble when he heard the sound of Arkalia giggling from the far end of the supply corridor. This was followed in short order by Commander Sato's panicked shout and a very unpleasant-sounding crash.

"IF SOMEONE DOESN'T TAKE CHARGE OF THIS KIT IMMEDIATELY, I SWEAR I WILL KEEP HER IN A BOX!"

The young Jedi rushed to the end of the corridor and peeked into the last room. He was greeted by the sight of a thoroughly steamed Sato standing amidst a landslide of collapsed crates with AP-5 at his side and a giggling Arkalia in his arms.

"Eheh, sorry about that, Commander. She got away from me," Ezra apologized nervously as he stepped into the room, quickly plucking the kit from the less-than-amused commander's arms. "You know what a little escape artist she is."

"Yes. _Precisely_ why a closer eye ought to be kept on her," Sato said, raising an eyebrow at the younger commander as he began to slither backward out of the room.

"Oh, dear. Now this entire storeroom will have to be _re-inventoried_ ," AP-5 lamented. "Should not you assist with this, Commander Bridger?" the droid asked pointedly.

"Oh, sorry, AP-5. No can do. Gotta keep a closer eye on the kit after all," Ezra said. Perfectly reasonable. And as the droid continued to whinge, Sato shook his head. But the last look Ezra caught in his eyes was a tiny spark of warm amusement. Whether or not he wanted to admit it, even the hard as durasteel commander had warmed to the little kit.

Once Ezra had her, Ari had immediately started to climb all over him. She, of course, had no idea of the commotion she'd caused. She just wanted to play.

"Can't blame you for that, kitten," the young Jedi teased when he finally managed to catch hold of her. How Lasat parents managed to keep up with their kids, he had no idea. "But it looks to me like you could maybe use a haircut."

Ari's purple hair had grown much longer since she'd come to Atollon and she seemed to be having trouble keeping it out of her eyes. The only issue was he couldn't imagine placing a vibro-shiv anywhere _near_ the squirmy kit. It was almost a guarantee he'd hurt her.

"Though...maybe..." he started to himself, thinking up the perfect solution to their hair problem. Before long, he was heading over to the Lasat camp, as that was where Zelina could usually be found.

"Hey, Ezra!" Jorrah called out when he spotted him. "Off duty today?"

"At the moment, yeah. Have you seen Zel?"

"Yeah. She's over at the Mothers' tent with Lirian."

"Great," Ezra said, immediately switching directions from the med tent he'd been heading toward. Jorrah quickly followed after him.

They'd told the refugees they would've been happy to build them hardier shelters if they could get the material, but the Lasat had insisted on being as outside as they possibly could be after years of being buried under hundreds of meters of ocean. Those who remembered it wanted to feel the warmth of a sun again. Many more had never known sunlight at all. So there were tents, but many of the Lasat spent as much time as they could out in the open air.

The Mothers' tent was a central place for the mothers-to-be and the mothers who had recently given birth to gather. To recover and to prepare and whatever else needed to happen. When Zelina wasn't assisting Rihima, she could either be found there or at the med tent.

 _Or with Wedge,_ Ezra thought with a snicker. The two weren't at a point where he could tease them about it yet, but the initially squabbling pair had become fast friends. There was definitely some kind of spark there and, like his master before him, he was looking forward to being able to mercilessly tease his two friends.

Zel was sitting just outside the Mothers' tent with Lirian, the youngest of the mothers-to-be. She was twenty, and while that didn't seem all that young to him from the approaching side of the age, Zeb had explained that it _was_ young for a Lasat. This was her first pregnancy and she was already much larger than the others, pregnant with twins, which was apparently rare among the Lasat.

She and Zelina were becoming good friends and he felt sure Sabine would like her, too. While she wasn't an artist in quite the same way the Mandalorian was, she did have the most beautiful singing voice Ezra had ever heard. Everyone in both the camp and the base liked to stop what they were doing and listen to her sing whenever she happened to be. Lirian wasn't singing just now, though. She was busy keeping Kestry entertained while Zelina fed one of the new arrivals. Ezra couldn't remember the kit's name yet, but he did remember that her mother hadn't been able to nurse her after she was born.

"Hey, Zel! Hey, Lirian!" he called out to them in greeting as he approached, remembering not to shout too loudly, lest he frighten the newborn.

"Ezra!" Kestry shouted in excitement, leaping out of Lirian's arms and scampering toward him. "Ezra! Ezra! Will you play tag with us again today?"

"Maybe in a minute, little man. I need some help with Ari first."

"What's wrong with Ari?" Zelina asked, looking up from the infant in her arms.

"Nothing's _wrong_ as such. She's just having trouble with hair in her eyes. I don't think I can hold her still long enough to cut her hair. I was wondering if you could show me how to braid it. I don't really know how," he admitted sheepishly.

"Sure," the young medic said, a brilliant smile immediately lighting up her face. "Jorrah, do you think you could hold Minaksha for a bit?"

"No problem," he said, coming forward to gather the little bundle in his arms. "Hey, there, Min'aki," he crooned, soothing her when she began to whimper.

Again, Ezra found himself somewhat astounded by what a natural hand all of the Lasat seemed to be at handling children. Even the youngest toddlers were perfectly capable of handling the babies. He understood _why_ , of course, but he still couldn't help comparing it to his own early days with Arkalia, with how awkward he'd been with her.

 _Well, the times they are a'changin',_ he found himself thinking as he passed Ari to Zel.

"Hey, Ari. Guess what? You're getting _braids_ today! Isn't that exciting?"

Ari, of course, had no idea what any of them were talking about, but Zel's jubilation was catching, because the little Lasat began to clap and squeal, squirming in the young Mandalorian's lap.

"Ohoho, hold still for me, sweetie," Zel cajoled her, coaxing her to sit still. Unlooping one of the many braids that crisscrossed her own head, she lowered the length of hair into Arkalia's grip, letting her see and touch it. They all laughed when the little girl proceeded to place the braid in her mouth, sucking on it experimentally.

"Haha! You've got a tug on your line there, Zel. I think you caught something," Ezra teased lightly.

"Oh, yes. The dreaded Ari fish!" she declared before tickling the baby's tummy, drawing out a fresh round of giggles. Once Ari had released the braid and settled a little more, Zelina began to parse out her hair. While Ezra kept Ari's attention focused on him, Zelina began her lesson.

"All right, so we're going with two braids today," she said, dividing Ari's hair down the back of her head. "You divide the hair into three strands, just like this," she demonstrated. "Then you take the two outer strands and cross them over each other like such. And then you take the middle strand and you weave it into the new space, and once you've got this base, you just keep alternating the strands all the way down. And that, my young apprentice, is how you do a braid," she finished with a flourish as she tied the neat little braid off at the end.

"Okay. Pretty sure I got it," Ezra said with a nod.

"Feel like tackling the second braid, then?" Zelina offered.

"Sure," the young Jedi said, shifting to sit beside them, but Ari began to wriggle almost immediately, trying to look at the braid on the side of her head. It took some doing for Zel to catch her attention long enough for Ezra to attempt to braid the rest of her hair, but he managed it.

The braid was nowhere near as straight or uniform as Zelina's braid when she finally tied it off for him. Several of the strands were loose and turned about, but the young medic offered him an encouraging grin.

"Don't worry. You'll get there."

Ari certainly didn't notice one way or the other. She was just thrilled to have braids in her hair. She swung her little head from side to side, whipping the braids in every possible direction as she squealed with delight.

"Such a lovely little princess," Lirian said as the little girl crawled around the circle, showing off the braids.

"Better be careful of that one. Zeb insists she's queen," Ezra said with a snicker.

"I can't see anybody arguing that point," Zelina said as she took Minaksha back from Jorrah.

"Ezraaaa! Now can we play tag?" Kestry pressed him.

"Haha, sure, Kes. Go find the others. Gonna have to be a quick one, though. They'll need me back up at the base in an hour."

Kestry was already gone before he'd even finished speaking. Smiling guiltily, he looked to his small group of friends. "Think you guys might be able to keep an eye on her 'til then?"

"No problem," Zel said with a teasing grin. "Really, I'm not sure you'll last even _that_ long. Good luck."

"Challenge accepted, Arsane," he said, swinging his arms wide as he backed away from them.

"Wave bye-bye to Ezra, Ari. It's been nice knowing him," the Mandalorian said with a shrug.

"Aza! Aza!" Ari protested, attempting to crawl after him, but Jorrah quickly grabbed hold of her with his foot, pulling her back into the circle.

"Challenge accepted to what? Beat a bunch of kids at their own game?"

"Oh, no. No, no, no," Ezra reassured his friend. "The challenge is to stay alive until the kids get tired."

XxX

Although Kallus was still unnerved to be in Thrawn's presence much of the time, he was at least relieved to no longer be on recovery. If not being on recovery meant being in Thrawn's presence, he would certainly take the lesser of two evils. Well-rested though he might be, he was less than a millimeter from losing his mind. So he currently stood in the Chiss' office, waiting in silence while he studied a holo of a new piece of art that had come into his collection. The grand admiral had given him the dossiers he would require to catch up on work he'd missed, but for whatever reason, the man hadn't yet given him leave to go. His brain was now beginning to buzz with possibilities over just what it was the Chiss was attempting to do.

"Are you at all familiar with this particular piece, Agent?" the grand admiral asked without looking back at him, intently studying the holo before him.

Glancing at the image, Kallus found himself unfamiliar. Only seldom was he actually familiar with whatever piece Thrawn was studying. Visual art had never been one of his hobbies.

"I cannot say as I am, Sir," he admitted.

"So much the better, perhaps. What would you say of it?" he continued.

Kallus took a harder look at the image. He knew he wouldn't be able to offer the insight Thrawn was hoping for, but he also didn't need to be getting too deep into discussions of any sort with the grand admiral anyway. He'd mostly managed to avoid it this last week and he was almost home free. Why risk the Chiss pulling him into another conversation he might use as a probing tool? On the other hand, he couldn't exactly ignore the question either.

"It looks to be a depiction of a figure arising from flame and flood," he said, describing the way the image's central figure arose from a swirled combination of fire and water. He didn't say so, but it wasn't unlike Sabine's firebird icon, although a great deal less in the realm of the abstract than the younger artist's.

Thrawn remained silent for several moments before responding. "You are not incorrect in this assessment. That _is_ what the image depicts, but more may be read than the simple veneer of the piece's physical subject. Because the two subjects are so similar, let us compare with the work of the Rebel artist Sabine Wren. Her work may be said to depict a figure rising _in_ flame, born and reborn in perpetual cycle, but always _in_ flame, so that such a figure could be said to be working _with_ the natural processes of life. This figure, though, is somewhat different. Note the positioning of the hands. One outstretched in a placating gesture, as if to calm or tame these natural forces, and the other raised, clenched into a fist, perhaps less to work in conjunction with these forces...and now the _master_ of their power. I would say it is also of note that this indistinct figure possesses both masculine and feminine physical qualities as far as human standard extends."

"Intellect over nature," Kallus said quietly, looking at the symbology with fresh eyes. "The power of mind over matter."

"Among other things, yes. The truly intriguing thing about the culture that produced this work is that it is one of a very few that developed _a_ theistically. Their cultural narrative is utterly without any sort of deity or higher being. Within such a setting, notions of beauty and artistry and other lenses commonly applied to artistic works must, out of necessity, be viewed in a different light. To the artist who originally created this, it would best be assumed that the idea of beauty and of the sublime lay within self-reliance. Nothing inhibits this piece's subject. The figure is masterless and free, free to either succeed and ascend to the stars overhead...or free to fail and sink into the mud below. Whatever the outcome, their fate will be their own, and that...that is the double-edged blade of free will," Thrawn explained, a hint of his own notion of the sublime echoing in his voice throughout.

"Indeed," Kallus conceded in the same quiet voice. "You seem to have given this a fair amount of thought. Has the work joined the phoenix symbol in the rebel repertoire recently?"

Thrawn raised an eyebrow as he finally looked in his direction. "Though I have admitted to your ability to confound me, Agent Kallus, I was at least a _little_ surprised you were unfamiliar with the piece. This is a chief example of what scholars look to in the study of the art of the people of _Salear_."

Kallus gave no physical reaction to the revelation of the artwork's origin, much though he would've loved to indulge in a sneer. So here they were again. Another of Thrawn's attempts to understand him. If _this_ was what he'd hit upon, he was more than a little off the mark.

"A little more than kin, and less than kind," he said coldly, attention shifting back to the holo – an image his _father_ had surely been proud of in some way.

"Pardon?"

"I know very little of my father's people. I had not even set foot on Salear until recently. If you would know more of the culture that shaped me, I would advise you look to the works of Wynn Sallah. My mother was a student of her poetry. That was a line of hers," he explained.

"Ah, yes, of course. The Songsmith of the Second City. I confess I am somewhat less familiar with the literature of the Empire and its forebears, but I do recall it from my own academy days. I gather I am to take the line as a dismissal?" Thrawn asked, watching him with interest now.

"Among other things," Kallus said, repeating the Chiss' phrasing from earlier. "I am Salerian in name and in genome, perhaps, but not in truth. I am Coruscanti...Imperial," he said, more as an addendum at the last, because even he couldn't bring himself to such a baldfaced lie as to say 'I am Imperial'. "If you find you recognize my father's people in me, I assure you it is completely by accident."

"Is it indeed?" Thrawn mused. "After all, it is a sadly common state of affairs that a warrior _becomes_ that which he hates most in his quest to destroy it."

Kallus winced as he looked away from the grand admiral, the response nothing but truth. Perhaps he had risked too much of that today. "That I know all too well, Sir. If there is nothing further-"

"One further item, actually," Thrawn interrupted him. "You will find my notes on the case in your files, but I was curious to know your thoughts on one of my recent investigations. A rebel operative with the codename Fulcrum."

The double agent felt his stomach turn and his heart drop, even felt his legs turn to jelly. Even so, to his eternal credit, the only response he gave was a slight widening of the eyes.

"Has it come up again? I was under the impression the case had been closed."

"You are familiar with the name, then?" Thrawn asked, his expression neutral.

"Yes. I had been tracking the name for some time. This would've been...roughly a year ago," he recounted, taking a moment to calm his racing heart and to think. "I had linked the codename to a series of failed missions involving the Inquisitorius. Following the trails of espionage and sabotage, I came to the conclusion this rebel agent was the former Jedi padawan Ahsoka Tano. But that trail went cold after the near total destruction of the Inquisitorius on Malachor," he offered up, Thrawn's nod of understanding telling him he didn't need to elaborate on _why_ any of that was. It _pained_ him to give out information on his mentor like this, but in the brief time they'd worked together, Ahsoka had warned him to be prepared to do so. Being quick to explain a Fulcrum connection just might save his life. "Was it wrong of me to assume? Has the agent continued to be active?"

"I don't believe you were _wrong_ to assume, no. Likely this Ahsoka Tano _was_ the agent Fulcrum when she was alive. If anything, the title is inherited. It would seem a new Fulcrum has risen from the ashes of the old. Unfortunately, you will find my own leads on the subject to be part rumor, part speculation, very little fact. I have traced the codename only briefly. Each time I come close to pinning it down, it vanishes."

"I will look into some of my old contacts then. Perhaps returning to square one will yield us some results."

"Do. I shall bring Colonel Yularen in on the investigation. A little more weight from ISB may be of use as well. Will you continue to run operations from the _Lawbringer_?"

"No. It has become a bit too recognizable as my command vessel to the scum and rebels of the Lothal Sector. We will be taking up operations aboard the light cruiser _Veritas_. I've found I somewhat miss the anonymity of more covert work."

"Sound reasoning. Inform me when you've had a chance to look over the case file. I would like your thoughts on the matter."

"Of course," Kallus said, struggling not to breathe a sigh of relief at this latest narrow brush.

"And now," Thrawn continued when the datapad on his desk sounded a notification, leading him to go and check it, "I believe your shuttle has arrived. Had best not keep them waiting. I will look to hear from you before too long."

"Certainly, Grand Admiral," he said, inclining his head to the Chiss before beating a seemingly calm retreat from the office.

 _Get out. Get out_ _ **now!**_

The voice that sounded suspiciously like Zeb's streamed through his mind in a loop as he moved through the corridors of the Star Destroyer. Outwardly, he was unfailingly taciturn, ever the icy and composed Imperial enforcer. Inward was another matter. Inwardly, he was screaming, fighting to keep himself moving under his own power while the only thing his body wanted to do was shut down completely.

 _Get out. Get out!_ _ **Get out!**_ _Escape while you still can. Go_ _ **home.**_ _Home to Zeb and Lia._

 _But...he doesn't have much. He said it himself. Maybe doesn't even know Fulcrum is within the Empire itself._

 _The fact that he has the name Fulcrum at_ _ **all**_ _is bad. It's Thrawn. The rest will come to him. Whether it be tonight or half a month from now, he will have what he seeks. All it will take is one stroke of inspired intuition and there will be no more Alexsandr Kallus._

 _Calm down!_ he ultimately snapped at himself, drawing in several deep breaths to steady his racing thoughts and his pounding heart. All in a few minutes, his week of rest and recovery had been almost completely undone, leaving him just as stressed and exhausted as he'd been before Manaan. But perhaps that was how he operated best (a debate for the philosophers as to whether that was healthy or not), because the rational thoughts soon began to move in to replace the worry and fear.

There was no sense in acting hastily. He had time to figure the situation out, surely. He would proceed with caution, as he always had, and if the evidence suggested it was finally time for him to cut his losses and flee, he would do so. But if it did _not_...perhaps Fulcrum might yet continue to serve the Rebellion.

His cycle of sheer terror and faltering calm had managed to carry him to the turbolift down to the hangar bay. He almost didn't notice that company had joined him about a quarter of the way down and probably would've continued to be ignorant of the fact had Konstanine's pinched voice not suddenly wormed its way into his thoughts.

"Still alive, are we?" the admiral asked him, harried and in a rush as always. "Rumor had placed you solidly at death's door, Agent Kallus."

"Proving once again that one would do better to treat the old hag as little more than wind in the void," Kallus pointed out. "It will take more than a Lasat's lucky strike to end me, Admiral."

"We will see, now won't we."

"We will indeed," he returned with a mild smirk, finding himself wondering what sort of sour look might twist the man's features if he were to ever learn that it was his own cold response that had helped start Kallus along the path he was on now. "And yourself? Particular business aboard the _Chimaera_ today?"

"Merely formalizing my intent to move against some rebel convoy."

"Oh?" Kallus started in, as if this were only mildly interesting to him. "It seems you _have_ been busy in my absence."

Konstantine sniffed in annoyance. "Whether or not you believe it, the Imperial Navy does in fact function without you. My scouts have been tracking the movements of a group active in Mon Calamari space."

Mon Cala? That was where Dodonna's fleet had been recruiting and making raids recently in preparation for the attack on Lothal. So it was the Massassi Group Konstantine was tracking, not Phoenix Cell. There was at least that tiny bit of relief then. But if Konstantine had more specifics, he just might be able to warn them before it was too late.

"We've reason to believe the traitor Dodonna is at the head of this particular band of rabble rousers. If we can bring _him_ in, it will be a great victory for us. I know where they're going to be and I'm going to catch them unaware," he said with a pleased sneer.

"Impressive. It will be even more impressive if you actually manage to take Dodonna alive. When will this sting be taking place?" he pressed casually.

"One cycle from this, when the scum makes his next jump through the system. He'll find more than just supplies waiting for him."

"Should be quite a rout then, one for the history keepers. Good luck, Admiral," Kallus said as the lift arrived at its destination.

"Thank you. I _won't_ require it," the admiral replied as they exited, each going their separate way.

Kallus saw Lieutenant Lyste waiting at the bottom of the loading ramp of the Lambda shuttle that had come for him, an eager, almost pleased look in his eyes. As the ISB agent approached, the younger officer snapped him a salute.

"Welcome aboard, Agent Kallus. Good to see you alive, Sir."

"Good to _be_ alive, Lieutenant," he returned with a nod and an approving look. "If we've no further business, we should be off at once. There is much to do."

XxX

 _"Accept override code..._ _ **Ashkerra san karu**_ _. Transmit."_

 _"Receiving. Awaiting instruction."_

 _"This is Fulcrum with an urgent message. Admiral Konstantine of the Lothal Sector fleet knows of your jump location and plans to intercept your task force. If the run cannot be avoided, I would advise changing the drop point. The rebellion cannot lose the Massassi Group at this time."_

 _"Acknowledged. Arrangements will be made."_

 _"Fulcrum out."_

XxX

Whenever Hera needed to make a run of any kind with the _Ghost_ crew, it tended to fall to Wedge to go on running drills for the base's pilots in her stead. And while he was happy to do it and eager to gain the leadership experience it afforded him, that didn't mean it was any less exhausting. So when the A-wings and assorted other fighters limped back to Chopper Base after a long day of training, the young rebel was very much looking forward to crawling into his cot and being dead to the world for at least a few hours. Unfortunately, when he saw Jidu leading Lirian toward him across the landing field, he knew instantly it wasn't going to be happening.

"What's wrong?" he asked the two approaching women as he hopped down from his fighter.

"You know that Orianne cleared Zel to fill in for her for the births in the camp, yes?" the Lasat asked him.

"Yeah. I know she's been doing really well with it, too. She _loves_ being with you guys. So what is it?"

"Zamare had her baby an hour ago. The boy lived. He's fine, but...Zamare did not survive. Her fever became worse and...there was really nothing Zel could do for her."

"Oh, hells," Wedge muttered, more to himself, because he knew exactly how Zelina would have taken it. To her, this would've been a personal failure – _her fault_ that someone in her care had died.

"She wouldn't hear me when I tried to speak to her. Now she's disappeared. I won't be much use in looking for her, but Jidu said _you_ might know where she's gone."

"Yeah, I've got an idea. I'll bring her back," he assured them before climbing back into his A-wing, his helmet remaining in his lap as he powered back up.

XxX

She had seen death before.

She was Mandalorian. Death defined her in a way it didn't for many other beings. Whatever ideology one subscribed to, death and battle were inextricably bound up in their cultural identity.

But more than this, her father before her had been a medic, operating an illegal medical runner in the Outer Rim during the Clone Wars in defiance of the Mandalorian stance of neutrality. In _line_ with the stance, though, Sariel Arsane had freely given medical aid to anyone who needed it, believing that lines on a battlefield should never be a stop to a person's ability to heal others.

Even though Zelina herself had been born after the wars ended, she'd still grown up aboard that ship, the _Surgeon's Opinion_. She had witnessed her father's attempts to stop the bleeding in an increasingly violent galaxy, and like every doctor before him, he could not save everyone.

It was nothing new to Zelina Arsane to see the light leave another being's eyes. She had cried for those beings, cried for her father, but tonight was the night she understood him far better than a thousand night cycle conversations could've ever afforded her. Tonight she had felt the heartbeat still beneath her own hands and asked herself for the first time...

 _Is this_ _ **my**_ _fault? Was there something I could have done? If I were a better medic, would you still be alive right now?_

Her mind had been stuck in a loop ever since Zamare had breathed her last. Over and over, she went through her actions, trying to find _something_ she could've done differently. Each time she came up empty. Somewhere in that endless loop, she was aware of the sound of a fighter overhead, but she was less aware of the fact that fighter had landed nearby. New input didn't penetrate her closed circuit of thought until she suddenly found Wedge's gentle brown eyes staring into hers.

"You really gotta stop coming out here like this, y'know," he said to her when he was certain she was actually seeing him. "The sensors don't always work. One of these nights, a krykna's going to wander up and bite your head off and none of us would ever know it."

"Which isn't necessarily a _bad_ thing," she grumbled, angrily swiping the tear tracks from her face as she looked away from him. "What use does anybody have for a medic who can't save people?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw him reach out to touch her, but then seem to think better of it, resting his hand instead on the rock surface between them.

"Come on, Zel, you can't- you can't be this hard on yourself. Even the Jedi aren't miracle workers. There wasn't anything you could've done."

"Do you _know_ that, though?!" she demanded as she jerked back to face him, braids coming loose with every harsh movement. "Maybe there _was_ something! I'm just not a good enough healer to know it!"

Wedge bit his lip, staring at her in silence for several moments before responding. "I'm gonna go ahead and point out here that you're only sixteen. So yes, there're probably things you don't know, but you also grew up eat, sleep, and breathing this stuff. You're already klicks above any core brat who bought their way into a fancy school on Coruscant. Orianne wouldn't have trusted you with the job if she didn't think you could handle it. I think you know that."

Zel shook her head, not meeting his eyes when she spoke. "She would've been able to save Zamare."

The pilot did touch her this time, lifting her face by the chin so he could look her in the eye. "No, she wouldn't. She barely kept Alreitha alive from what I've heard. You did your best for Zamare, but...sometimes these things happen."

"Did my best?" she ground out bitterly as she jerked free of his hold. "What does that even _mean?_ All I see is that my best wasn't good enough."

Sighing, Wedge shifted to sit down beside her. "Zel...why do you do this?"

"Do what?"

"Choose to be a healer? You're like most of us. The Empire's hurt you in some way. They took your parents from you. You've got every reason in the galaxy to use the skills you have to take life away, but you _choose_ not to. I'm asking you _why._ "

Zelina thought about it a long while before answering. It wasn't something she'd ever given much thought to. The simple answer was that her father had been a medic and she wanted to honor his memory, but that wasn't really the reason _why_. She thought back through the years, back through each person she and her father had helped and, gradually, a picture began to form.

"I don't do it for reward or for thanks," she started softly. "I just...I've seen so much pain in the galaxy. If something _I_ can do can take away even a _little_ bit of that suffering...then that's always been worth my own pain."

"There she is," Wedge said with a grin, bumping his shoulder against hers. "That's the girl who saved Zeb's life and helped people she had no business helping. You'll save more people; don't doubt it. But you won't save everyone. That's just not possible."

Though a smile moved slowly across the young Mandalorian's face, she also felt fresh tears begin to trickle down her cheeks. Not only from sadness, though there was still plenty of that, but because she suddenly felt at home, and she hadn't felt that in months...not since she'd lost Trek.

"Did- did I say something wrong?" Wedge asked awkwardly, apparently mistaking her tears for a failure on his part. Zel shook her head before resting it against his shoulder.

"No," she whispered through her sniffles. "I just- I haven't- felt like- like I belonged anywhere...not since Trek died. You and Ji and Rex and- _everyone_...everyone's been so wonderful. I guess I was just- being too much of an idiot to see it."

"Hey, no thing. We all have those idiot moments, or months, I guess," he chuckled as he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, holding her and just letting her cry it all out. There was little denying it felt good to just cry, whatever mix of joy and sorrow was in those tears. She couldn't say how long they sat like that beneath the light of Atollon's moon before she heard Wedge suggest, "We should probably be heading back soon."

"Right," she agreed, shaking herself as she sat up. "I guess I've got a bit more ground to cover than you do."

"Hey, no," he argued as he got to his feet. "There's no way I'm gonna just let you walk back alone. Not this late at night."

"But you can't leave your A-wing here," she pointed out, staring suspiciously up at him.

"Wasn't planning to do that, either."

For a moment, her gaze darted between him and the fighter parked beyond the stone spires. "You're not serious. There's no way we'll both fit in that cockpit."

"It'll be a tight fit, I admit. But I think we can do it," he said, offering her a hand to help her up. She stared at him with a raised eyebrow for several moments before finally accepting the offered hand. "I'll just take it slow, and I promise not to pick any fights with clouds on the way back," he reassured her as they made their way down to the A-wing.

"Right," she said with a nervous chuckle. They were both well aware of the fact that the small fighter wasn't exactly known for traveling at slow speeds.

"Look on the bright side. If we crash, we won't need to call for the medics," he teased as he opened up the cockpit's canopy, hopping right in to get himself settled first.

Zel offered her friend a peeved look as she climbed up after him. "I'm not really sure if that's more insulting to you or to me."

"Eh. Don't strain your brain too much over the riddle. Climb in."

"So...what?" she tried to clarify as she surveyed the distinct lack of room in the little space. "I'm just supposed to sit on top of you?"

"That's the idea. You sit on top and I'll strap us both in."

"Stars, but you might _actually_ be crazy, Antilles," she told him, even though she didn't hesitate to clamber into the cockpit, settling herself carefully on his lap and letting her legs slide down next to his in the small space.

"Time'll tell," he conceded as he pulled the restraints over both their heads, passing them to her to secure. Before lowering the A-wing's canopy, he settled his helmet on her head. "Just...try not to move too much," he told her as he reached around her to operate the controls.

The young medic gave an even higher nervous laugh at that one. "If we die...I'm going to kill you."

"Fair. I don't doubt you could," he said as the small craft lifted up on its repulsors. In little more than a heartbeat, they were off.

It took Zel's breath a few minutes to catch up with them as they zoomed through the night. At first, she was very aware of just how stiffly she was holding herself, trying not to move in order to make the flying part easier for Wedge. But as they went, she found herself starting to loosen up, feeling the thrum of the A-wing's engines in her bones and the warmth of her friend's body so close against hers. Briefly, the thought drew a flush to her face, but it didn't stick around for long. Something about the whole situation just felt nice – felt _right_.

After a time, she felt certain they should have already reached the base, but if Wedge was taking a more circuitous route to get there, she certainly wasn't going to complain. It was horribly crowded in the little fighter but, at the same time, something in her didn't want the ride to be over. Looking through the visor of Wedge's helmet and up through the A-wing's canopy, she could see the stars wheeling by overhead and her breath caught at the sheer beauty of them.

"It's amazing...isn't it," she heard Wedge's voice close to her ear, nearly missing it among the other noises from the fighter.

"Amazing," she echoed, resisting the urge to remove the helmet to have a better look. That motion would almost certainly be too distracting for the pilot.

Sadly, though, they couldn't go on wasting the Rebellion's precious fuel, so they did have to return to base eventually. For several moments after Wedge had landed, they both just sat still in the cockpit, the only sound the noise from the A-wing as it powered down. Zelina didn't want to leave, but she didn't really know how to articulate that desire. The stillness between them was broken when Wedge reached to undo the restraints, allowing Zel to twist on his lap to look back at him.

He was looking at her with an almost confused smile on his face. She didn't say anything when he reached forward and lifted his helmet off her head. They just stared at each other, smiling helplessly, neither sure of what to say, what was even _right_ to say.

The moment was over all too quickly, though, when Zelina bumped against the release for the canopy, allowing the rest of the galaxy back into the space around them.

"Thank you," Zel said softly as she looked away from him. "Not just for the ride back, but...for everything."

"Anytime."

"Hey! Anybody awake in there?" Ezra's voice suddenly called up to the cockpit. Almost as one, they jerked up, but all they really succeeded in doing was knocking their heads together. Collapsing back to the seat together, it took them several minutes to disentangle from one another. Zelina managed to emerge first.

"Hey, Ezra. When did you guys get back?"

Ezra's eyes widened briefly at seeing _her_ emerge from the cockpit instead of Wedge, but he recovered quickly. "About an hour ago. But we've got a problem. We just heard from General Dodonna's fleet. It looks like their runners were ambushed by the _Chimaera_."

XxX

"No! _No way!_ "

"Captain Orrelios, I understand that your feelings on this matter may well be emotionally compromised, but it _is_ somewhat difficult to ignore the facts in this case."

Zeb felt rage boiling up in his blood with every word Sato spoke. He was so angry he was just about seeing red. On a level of logic, he could understand Command's concerns over the situation, but his love for Alex was not rational. His faith in him went beyond reason. No force in the galaxy could turn him from Alexsandr Kallus. So to hear Sato accuse him of a betrayal of this magnitude...it was enough to make him want to crack the man's skull open. Instead, he settled for growling at him.

"If you've got somethin' to say about Fulcrum, you and I just might have a problem, _Commander,_ " he ground out, subtly baring his fangs at the human.

"We know what the situation looks like," he heard Kanan saying as his friend placed a hand on his arm, fighting to calm the atmosphere of tension in the command center. "But Kallus is one of us. Each one of the Spectres will vouch for him personally, along with plenty of others on this base who are alive today because of him."

"I do not deny the man has done good work," Sato returned. "But any double agent would have to. Practically gift-wrapping one of our cells for the grand admiral hardly seems like it would benefit the Rebellion in any way. The only remaining explanation is that this was Agent Kallus' plan all along."

"That's just not _true_ ," Hera tried to step in.

"Believe me, Captain Syndulla, no one would like to believe in this young defector more than I would," the holographic image of Jan Dodonna responded to the outburst with a pained, saddened look. "But if there is logic in his move here, I have been unable to fathom it."

"Please, we're very close to true stupidity here," Hera scolded, looking around at everyone in the center with reproach in her eyes. "General, can you tell us again, exactly what it was that happened?"

"Fulcrum had informed us that the Lothal Sector fleet had become aware of our jump coordinates in Mon Calamari space. His first suggestion had been to skip the planned drop altogether but, failing that, the next best option was to change the drop point, which we did."

"And did Fulcrum actually suggest a new location to you?" Hera pressed.

"No, he did not," Dodonna conceded. "Merely suggested that a change be made. We selected a backup drop point, but when my boys made the jump to coordinates, the _Chimaera_ was lying in wait. Nearly a _third_ of the task force was lost in the escape."

"Heh, well, I'm already starting to see some holes in your betrayal theory," Kanan tried to joke. "If Kallus didn't know what your location was going to be, how could he have possibly given you up to Thrawn?"

"Then how did _Thrawn_ know where we would be?" the general asked.

"That's just what Thrawn does," Hera explained. "He's _that_ good a tactician. If he knows even one-tenth of your previous movements or anything at _all_ about your preferred strategies, he'll beat you to the punch and be there waiting with some tea and an interrogation chair when he knocks you out. I wouldn't put it past him to figure out exactly where your backup drop point was."

"Maybe this whole thing really _was_ a setup?" Kanan suddenly mused. "Just not for us."

"For who, then?" Sato asked.

"For Kallus. This could all be happening because they've tapped into his Fulcrum frequency."

"Karabast," Zeb snarled in quiet horror. "Thrawn could be closin' in on him and he'd never know it. We've _gotta_ get him outta there. He'd do the same for any of us."

"What is it you're suggesting we do, exactly?" Sato asked. "Raid an Imperial Star Destroyer?"

"No, of course not. We would infiltrate," Hera said matter-of-factly as she moved to the holoprojector, calling up a display of Alex's latest command.

"He's moved operations to the light cruiser _Veritas_ ," Zeb explained. "Security's a lot less tight than on your average Star Destroyer. We had clearance codes for the _Lawbringer_ , but he also passed us the codes for the _Veritas_ when he made the transfer." And though he knew it was the best option, he was already disappointed with the plan because he knew infiltration automatically left him out as a candidate to be at the front. It wasn't that he didn't trust his friends to rescue his _Tinsana_. He just would've preferred to be a part of it himself.

"Any way we can give him the head's up?" Wedge asked. "Speaking from experience, it's not much fun to be working in the dark on these things."

"Unfortunately, no," Kanan put in. "If they've tapped him in any way, warning him would tip them off we're coming. This is gonna have to be a flyby and it's gonna have to be soon. Like _now_ soon."

"Actually," Ezra started in, "I might have an idea."

XxX

(A/N) All righty. Ready for a little 'Through Imperial Eyes'? Next time, my friends, next time. Also, did I just translate Shakespeare into Star Wars like a proper hardcore nerd? Did I? Why yes. Yes, I did. Only other thing I have for you before I go is a few translations.

San syv arrin avashty? - Is this line secure? (little shoutout to everybody's longtime favorite Kalluzeb fic)

Sanin an? - Is it you?

An _rokirin_ san. Mal _san_ syv arrin avashty? - You know it is. No is this line secure?


	15. Look Through My Eyes

(A/N) Hello once again, fellow fans! Hope I haven't left you hanging too long. Let's see how this crazy little jaunt matches up with canon, shall we?

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 15: Look Through My Eyes_

If Mitth'raw'nuruodo had learned anything in his many years of study, it was the fact that certainty was an illusion.

Many who had known him over the years would likely find that a strange statement coming from his mouth, as his own predictions and strategies tended to be put forth with a great degree of certainty, but that wasn't so much the type of certainty he would've meant in any hypothetical conversation. If pressed for further answers, he would say that arrogance was a poor quality in a warrior and a tactician.

His calculations and his tactics were always based on solid evidence. Though he knew that many didn't see insights from art as anything empirical, he also knew that lesser minds often dismissed what they weren't capable of understanding. He took understanding where he could gather it and every move he made was thoughtfully planned out based upon even the minutest bytes of knowledge he could gather to him. Even so, even with such careful planning, a truly cunning mind always had to be prepared for the eventuality that they did not, in fact, possess _all_ the facts. After all, a strategy could be the most beautifully balanced setup circling any star, every contingency perfectly mapped out, and it could all fall apart in moments if even the tiniest piece of information was overlooked.

He, for instance, had been almost _certain_ he had deduced the identity of the Rebels' hidden agent. This _Fulcrum_. His profile of the agent possessed three distinct tenets – intelligence, bravery, and belief. He had narrowed the possibilities down to a pool of five individuals. Governor Arihnda Pryce, Admiral Kassius Konstantine, Captain Hiram Zataire of the _ISD Lawbringer_ , and Agents Q'eryn Voltira and Shay Dekkan of the Imperial Security Bureau.

Pryce he had been able to dismiss fairly quickly. Because while she had means and opportunity, he knew from personal experience that her only true alignment was her own self-interest. Intelligence and courage she had, but she was no believer. She could never be a rebel spy.

Captain Zataire also had means and opportunity, plus the undeniable fact that the _Lawbringer_ always seemed to be closest at hand when there were breakdowns in communications and leaks of valuable intel. The trouble was he had neither true intelligence nor courage. He was a believer, to be sure, but like Kallus, his belief was in the order the Empire was attempting to create. So while the hard evidence would've placed him at the top of the suspect list, Thrawn was also inclined to dismiss him from the pool for those reasons.

Agent Voltira and Agent Dekkan had courage and intelligence, certainly, earmarks of truly effective ISB agents. What was difficult to divine without personal experience with them was the direction of their belief. Agent Voltira's belief seemed to lie with the idea of 'only the strong survive', and he had heard she _very_ much enjoyed inflicting that belief upon those beings unfortunate enough to fall into her grasp. So while she seemed to him a less likely candidate, he couldn't dismiss her with any degree of certainty. The same was true of Agent Dekkan. He _had_ belief, of course, but in the Chiss' limited experience, it seemed that belief had yet to be directed, and it was for that reason he remained a viable suspect. Yularen would personally handle their interviews, though, and he trusted the man's skill on that front largely beyond question. Those loose ends would be tied up soon.

That left him with Konstantine. While at first glance, the man did not appear to have intelligence, courage, _or_ belief, Thrawn had begun to wonder if his incompetence did not mask something deeper. It would certainly serve his purpose as a double agent. After all, the Chiss had learned only too well that competence was not the currency of the Empire. That dubious honor was reserved for fear.

Although another possibility was that the man had simply chosen to array himself against Thrawn because he viewed him as a threat, which would shock the Grand Admiral little. In which case, any potential betrayal was done not out of loyalty to the Rebel cause, but out of a desire to defeat Thrawn. The surprise raid on General Dodonna's fleet had begun to confirm something in that vein for him, but he hadn't yet pieced together what.

Certainly, Konstantine could have set the raid up as a way to turn suspicion away from himself, while sending his supposed allies off in a different direction, leaving him to look the earnest, angered fool yet again. It was why Thrawn had plotted out Dodonna's likeliest alternate jump point, lying in wait to see if the Rebel force did make an appearance. Though it had been a tremendous balancing act to ensure he didn't seem to be letting the Rebels go, his agents had also had the opportunity to secure a trace with Dodonna's forces, allowing the _Chimaera_ to track them. He had little doubt that their trajectory would point him toward the secret Rebel stronghold, but he required at least one more line of communication to be able to pinpoint its exact location. He _had_ to pin down Fulcrum.

All of the facts aligned...except that something was still _off_. There was an outlier, some piece of information he didn't yet possess. There was something in all of this he was missing. And the more he observed the Salerian piece, the more he found his thoughts shifting back to Agent Kallus.

He'd never seriously considered the man as a suspect. Even though Kallus fit the profile to the letter, none of the evidence ever quite lined up. The only link he'd ever been able to discover between Kallus and Fulcrum was the agent's previous hunt for the original Fulcrum. But...perhaps it was more prudent to look at what was _not_ there to be seen, rather than what _was_.

 _Conceal me what I am, and be my aid for such disguise as haply shall become the form of my intent._

The Sallah line drifted vaguely through his mind as he pondered the problem. He had delved more deeply into the ancient songsmith's works since Kallus had made the suggestion. Though the reading of Wynn Sallah was not exactly encouraged in the Empire these days, she was widely considered to be one of the cornerstones of classical Coruscanti literature. The woman had had...less than conformist ideas, to say the least, but such things could easily be glossed over with the intricacies of the dated, poetic language.

He was certain Kallus hadn't meant to reveal such a truth about himself, given where Sallah stood in the current climate, but that conversation had been the one time he'd managed to get a rise out of the man, so the slip couldn't be unrelated. If everything he had observed of Alexsandr Kallus had been a front...had even _he_ been taken in by the man's act? If that were true, it would be a deeply unfortunate loss. Letting out a pained exhalation, he shut down the Salerian piece.

"Perhaps I was blinded by the notion of coming up against a nearly equal intelligence," he posited. After all, he had never before been outthought.

And he _still_ hadn't been. Fulcrum had not defeated him. Whether Kallus or Konstantine was Fulcrum, perhaps it was time to lure the bantha into the krayt's layer, as Eli might have said.

"To whatever end, Agent Kallus, I sincerely hope you do not disappoint me."

XxX

Kallus was awakened from his sleep by the ugly, blaring sound of a ship-wide alert. He stumbled to his feet fairly quickly, making his way over to his door to see what was happening outside. He was greeted by the sight of troopers rushing down the corridor. Seeing him, one of them quickly turned to face him.

"Battle stations, Sir!" he snapped out before hurrying on his way.

An attack? Not likely. It had been a long while since anyone had openly attacked any ships of the sector fleet. If he recalled correctly, Lyste had gone on duty at the end of his command shift. Sighing, Kallus closed the door and moved toward his refresher station. Likely this was the overeager young lieutenant overreacting to a situation. For that, he had interrupted the little sleep Kallus was likely to get this cycle.

He let the water run for a few moments before splashing some against his face, attempting to wake himself up a little more thoroughly. When he looked to his reflection, he could see that even _his_ pale complexion looked to be even paler with stress, causing his scattering of freckles to stand out even worse than they typically did. Now he could even see the dark circles beginning to form under his eyes. Even after his recovery period, exhaustion was already beginning to set in. If this really was nothing, he might just have to give Lyste a thorough talking to.

Kallus made for the bridge of the _Veritas_ at a much slower pace than the rest of her trooper complement, striding intently into the space to find the young lieutenant overseeing an interception of some kind.

"Lieutenant Lyste," he started by way of greeting, trying not to let his next words seem _too_ overbearing. "Are we under attack?"

"No, and I intend to keep it that way," Lyste responded as he looked back at him. "This stolen shuttle reportedly blasted its way out of the Lothal spaceport. I'm moving to intercept. Prepare tractor beam," he ordered the controller on deck.

Kallus could see the pursuit happening just forward of the _Veritas_. It didn't take much for the TIE patrol to disable the ungainly shuttle, making it easy prey for the light cruiser's tractor beam.

"We have tractor lock," the controller reported.

"I'll head up the boarding party," Kallus immediately volunteered, turning to head down to the docking station. If this was a situation he needed to avert in some way, he would need to know it as soon as possible. He arrived to find several troopers forcing a valiantly struggling lowlife through the _Veritas'_ airlock.

"Let me go! You're making a mistake!" the bounty hunter snarled,through his helmet. The voice was unknown to him but, for some reason, Kallus found the tone to be strangely familiar, along with the clothing in general.

"Remove his helmet," he ordered one of the troopers. With the way the prisoner was struggling, he couldn't quite make out the design on the helmet, but it was the familiar graffiti-like style of it that made him remember where he had seen this "bounty hunter" before. Barely a month ago, beneath the oceans of Manaan. He was not all that surprised when the helmet was pulled away to reveal the face of Ezra Bridger.

"What are you looking at, Imperial scum?!" the young Jedi bit out, scowling at him, his expression giving nothing away.

"Bring him to the detention cells," he ordered the troopers holding Ezra, turning to head in that direction, although a rather large part of him was keen to demand what, exactly, the boy was doing here. They'd all barely made it off Manaan alive and now here he was diving right back into the krayt dragon's den.

 _But isn't that what_ _ **you're**_ _doing, as well?_

Kallus shook away the thought, only vaguely aware of Ezra snapping at the troopers and of Chopper and another droid exiting the shuttle. If Ezra was here, there was surely a reason for it. But why take the risk at all? His heart clenched a little harder than he would readily admit when the troopers shoved the boy down into a cell.

"Leave us," he ordered them, calm but firm. "I'll interrogate him myself."

Once the troopers had complied, he made sure to shut down the security in the cell before entering, shutting the door behind him. Alone at last, he was finally able to give voice to the worry that had begun to churn in his gut.

"Do you _realize_ how _dangerous_ it is for you to _be here?_ " he hissed at the young Jedi, half-scolding. "If _anyone_ recognizes you-"

"They won't," Ezra insisted as he turned his back to Kallus, offering up the binders for him to undo, which he quickly did, allowing the boy to shake them off. "You know how big the Empire is? Most troopers don't even know what I look like now," he finished with a casual shrug as he slipped something from his clothing.

"I hope that's true for _everyone's_ sake. If they- what...Ezra, what are you _doing?_ " he asked as the boy got right up in his face with what he could now see was a holo-capture. He took a step back in confusion as Ezra snapped off several images.

"Zeb was demanding visual confirmation that you're still in one piece. I know you guys have talked since Manaan, but you gotta admit, that last sight he had of you was a pretty bad one. I'll be honest, most of us didn't think you were gonna pull through this time," Ezra said, and as he continued to take images, Kallus noticed the small spark of worry beneath the rest of his brazen expression. He rolled his eyes as he sighed.

"Your vote of confidence is overwhelming, Ezra Bridger."

The young Jedi's expression took on an almost scolding appearance of its own as he looked at Kallus. "Don't give me that, man. Zeb was really worried about you. He's been tearing his fur out ever since Kanan dragged him back onto the ship."

Kallus was forced to turn away from Ezra as he spoke about Zeb, unable to keep his features schooled as the latent guilt reached up to claw at his heart. While his own last sight of the cold horror in the Lasat's eyes hadn't been all that much better, he had at least known that his lover was still alive throughout.

"I know," he began, still not looking back at Ezra, "and I am sorry for his suffering, but there was little I could do. It _had_ to play out as it did or we all would've been done for."

"Yeah, that- that's a conversation I'm just gonna let Zeb have. Trust me, there's a _lot_ of things he's been planning to say to you."

"I don't doubt it, but my response shall be the same as ever it has been." He couldn't leave yet. Not while there was still some good he could do.

"Kal," Ezra interrupted before he could say more, surprising him with the use of the nickname, but more drawing concern with the quavering quality of it, "he hasn't been sleeping. I can't remember the last time I saw him eat."

Kallus felt his heart lurch painfully at that. He didn't try to conceal the naked worry in his eyes as he finally turned back to the young Jedi. The not sleeping he had suspected, but not _eating_ either?

"What?"

"He's been beating himself up pretty bad over what happened. I think he just needs to see for himself that you're healing all right."

Kallus suspected it might be more than just Zeb's concern for _him_ at this point, but he hadn't had a chance to talk with his lover since that night. For now, they would just have to keep muddling through.

"So...you got captured...to tell me this?" he asked in anxious amazement, trying to puzzle it out. Although Zeb's health certainly would've been worth the risk to him, it wouldn't be to the larger rebellion. Just what was Ezra here to do?

"Bit more than that, actually," the boy said with a more upbeat look, but that look quickly devolved into something sympathetic. "It's not your fault. It's really not. Sato gets it. With how bad off you were after Manaan, you probably weren't as careful as you usually are."

"What do- Ezra, what are you _talking_ about?" Kallus pressed him.

"We think the Empire was monitoring your last Fulcrum transmission. They probably haven't pegged you yet, but Command sent me in to get you outta here."

His first thought was to ask if everyone was all right, because if he had been monitored in any way, it likely meant something had gone wrong for them. But the thought that immediately followed was that, if he was getting out, if this was really the end of it, then he would finally be with Zeb and Lia again. He would be with his family. He couldn't fully help the tiny half-smile that turned up the corners of his mouth.

"Well...I suppose I have no choice now," he said in mock annoyance. "What's our play?"

Ezra blinked, eyes widening, as if what he'd said had sparked some memory for the boy. "Oh, hey, before things get crazy and I forget, have you still got your corder pendant?" he asked as he moved to pull something else from his clothing.

"I- of course. Why?" Kallus asked as he pulled the pendant from his uniform, more surprised than anything that Ezra knew he had it. The boy grinned as he produced a small storage chip, quickly reaching for the sphere and linking the two devices, allowing the chip to upload.

"Fresh batch of Ari holos, courtesy of Zeb and Sabine."

Kallus really couldn't stop himself smiling this time. Sometimes it felt like these holos were the only things sustaining him. He couldn't quite let himself believe he would soon see her again, so...for now...

"Thank you," he whispered, nodding faintly before tucking the pendant back into his uniform.

"No problem. She's gonna be happy to see you."

"Open this door!" Lyste's voice suddenly sounded from the other side of the cell door.

"Oops. Time's up. Guess we'll have to plan later," Ezra said as he grabbed Kallus' hand, still grinning mischievously right up until he helped him deliver a fake punch to his jaw. The young Jedi may have overplayed his crash against the opening door. "Stop! I'll tell you anything!" he pleaded with a raised hand.

It was an honest struggle for Kallus not to chuckle.

"A confession already? You _are_ good," the lieutenant said with an admiring look, but that quickly shifted to a slightly nervous, all business look. "But it will have to wait. Admiral Thrawn's fleet's just arrived and he has summoned _us_ aboard his ship. Bring the prisoner," he ordered the two troopers accompanying him.

"The prisoner?" Kallus asked, hoping the sudden note of worry in his voice wasn't too obvious.

"To show the grand admiral how effective I am in dealing with a rebel threat," Lyste said, puffing up a little more than such a statement warranted.

"He's a _bounty hunter_ , not a rebel," Kallus said with a minute roll of his eyes, playing it as if he were trying to let the young man down easy. Having Ezra transferred to the _Chimaera_ would present a whole new set of problems that none of them needed. There was even the chance the young Jedi might be outed as _being_ a rebel. If he could just convince Lyste he was being overzealous...

But the young officer stiffened at his words, stubborn defiance sparking in his eyes. "He's from Lothal. _That's_ enough," he said, nodding to the troopers to lead Ezra from the cell. Kallus caught a brief glimpse of the mild look of panic on his face as they headed out. The gears were already starting to turn in his head as he brought up the end of the strange procession.

This was bad. This was more than bad. He didn't doubt the Spectres had a plan for getting them off the _Veritas_ , but the _Chimaera_? The crown jewel of the Seventh Fleet was another matter altogether. _He_ would be able to leave easy enough, but Ezra? Whether or not they actually knew who they had in their custody, Ezra Bridger was a prisoner of the Empire. He would little be able to just walk out with the boy. And of course he wouldn't be able to pass updated clearance codes along to whoever was supposed to be extracting them. Security was much tighter in the Seventh Fleet now after his code fiasco on Manaan. He noted that Chopper and his compatriot didn't have any trouble talking their way onto the shuttle, so they would be of help. Getting back out, though? That would be the challenge.

Lyste was jittery the whole shuttle ride, talking about summons and making good impressions. Kallus sighed inwardly at his awkward openness. He felt certain the lieutenant _thought_ he was comporting himself very well, but really, Yogar Lyste wasn't much farther up from being a boy than Ezra was. Honestly, he sometimes wondered what Lyste was even _doing_ here, but he supposed he could ask the same of any starry-eyed boy who came up through the Imperial ranks. The war machine had to be fed somehow. He gave the young man a few lines he _meant_ to be reassuring, and Lyste seemed to take them as such, smiling with a small note of pride, even though Kallus knew only part of his heart was really in the words. He had to worry about Ezra and himself right now.

Only partly did he regret attempting to encourage the young lieutenant when they docked with the _Chimaera_ , as he exited the craft with a little bit more of a swagger than when he'd first entered. It didn't take him long to begin planning around Lyste's state of mind, though. After all, vanity and blind loyalty were two flaws that could easily be built off of.

"A rebel prisoner for the grand admiral," Lyste declared to the troopers who met them on the boarding ramp with Ezra, directly ignoring what Kallus had already told him.

"Take him to detention block B-7," one of them said, making no comment when his compatriot reached out to give Ezra a smack across the head to get him moving. The young Jedi kept his front up as he was led away.

He was not going to leave here without him. Kallus made that vow as he and Lyste headed through the _Chimaera_ 's maze-like corridors. He would come up with any excuse he had to, but he was not leaving Ezra onboard this ship. But planning for that moment would have to wait, as he needed to keep his focus sharp and in the moment, walking into the belly of the beast like this. It was actually Lyste who reminded him that he _hadn't_ been paying attention.

"Those were sector command staff," the young lieutenant said of the group that had just passed them. "What are _they_ doing here?"

"I can _only_ guess," Kallus returned quietly. His worry had been too much on Ezra and not enough on himself. After all, this whole business was likely related to Thrawn's search for Fulcrum. When they arrived at the grand admiral's office, they were immediately stopped by the trooper standing guard out front.

"Your code cylinders," he said, extending out a hand.

Lyste puffed up in indignation. "Now see here. I am a lieutenant!"

"Understood, Sir," the trooper returned in what was almost a deadpan tone. "Your cylinders."

Lyste threw a scandalized look over his shoulder at Kallus, to which he responded with a sort of half-roll of his eyes before handing over his own code cylinder.

"Thrawn _is_ known for being thorough."

Lyste fumed a moment longer, but ultimately handed over his code cylinder. Once the guard had made certain that everything checked out, he handed back the cylinders and, in an almost poetic display of respectful sarcasm, finished with, "You are clear to proceed, _Lieutenant_."

The young man continued to bluster as they headed into the office, but Kallus' attention was immediately drawn by the sounds of combat. Glancing in the direction of the sounds, he found himself looking in on a private training room, a part of the office he'd never seen before. Thrawn was inside, facing off against two assassin droids.

Kallus would've admitted himself impressed when the Chiss took down the first of the droids, but then he managed to turn and block the strike of the second, actually holding it at bay for several minutes before outright kicking it away.

"Override code: Rukh," he ordered, breathing only slightly harder than normal as the droids deactivated. When he happened to glance back over his shoulder and notice them looking, the door to the training room snapped shut, blocking their sight.

It was a power play if Kallus had ever seen one, almost like a warrior's dance. So they were meant to enter this meeting intimidated. Well, it had worked on Lyste, as he could feel him shuddering in the space next to him. Had Thrawn pulled the same display with _every_ group he'd brought in for questioning? If so, he would say he was _more_ impressed by the fact that the grand admiral's breathing was only _slightly_ elevated.

Within moments of the training room closing, the door to the office proper slid open, revealing Konstantine waiting for them.

"He is ready for us," the admiral said stiffly, looking toward the head of the office, where a silver-haired officer in command white was standing beside Thrawn's desk. When the man turned to look at them, Kallus found he knew him.

"Colonel Yularen," he said quietly, a little awed. He recalled Thrawn had said he would be bringing the ISB higher-up in on this investigation; he just hadn't thought it would be this soon. Yularen had been...something of an idol of his in his latter academy days, an example of the justice, honor, and order the Imperial Security Bureau was meant to be upholding...or...so he'd once thought. He hadn't really had time to consider his thoughts on the man since he'd made the decision to turn. Did Yularen know who it was he was truly working for? He hoped not.

"I don't know if you remember me from the academy," he started, reaching out to grip hands with the man. The colonel offered him an approving smile in return.

"Of course. Young Agent Kallus. I keep tabs on all my star pupils."

"What brings you to Lothal?" he asked, opting to play the small talk card. After all, the Agent Kallus who was _not_ a rebel agent wouldn't be aware of any of this.

"We are in need of his expertise," Thrawn's voice suddenly joined the conversation. When Kallus looked toward him, it was to see him still securing the jacket of his uniform as he entered the room. "There's a rebel spy in our midst, codename Fulcrum, and perhaps today we are going to learn their true identity."

 _We'll see, now won't we._

Konstantine quickly took a seat in one of the two chairs set before the grand admiral's desk as the Chiss moved to stand behind it. Yularen nodded at Lyste to let him know he ought to sit as well. While the young lieutenant settled himself in a somewhat awkward flurry of limbs, Yularen moved to stand beside him, leaving the space next to Konstantine as the only one free to properly stand, which Kallus did. It was a simple thing, but it eased his nerves somewhat. The lack of a third chair indicated that he was not here in an 'under suspicion' capacity. Konstantine and Lyste were the ones under interrogation today. It seemed he would be _assisting_ with interrogation instead. They still trusted him. He wasn't under suspicion _yet._

"A traitor in our ranks is feeding the rebels information," Thrawn began once they were all in place, facing carefully away from them. "That is the only logical explanation for their success, and our failure."

Lyste once again puffed out a little in the chest as he stood from his chair. "I will do everything in my power to find this spy, Grand Admiral."

"Thank you for your enthusiasm, Lieutenant," the Chiss started, glancing back over his shoulder at him as he'd done in the training room before properly turning to face them. "However, few are above suspicion. ISB Colonel Yularen will question each of you."

"In the meantime, be vigilant," Yularen advised, placing a hand on Lyste's shoulder and firmly guiding the chastened lieutenant back down into his chair. "Watch your subordinates closely, and your peers even closer."

"Our spy _must_ be unmasked quickly, as I'm on the verge of locating the rebel base in this sector," Thrawn told them, moving forward to activate the holoprojector in his desk, displaying his search grids for them. An uncomfortably small number of planets and moons were quickly highlighted in red as he continued. "I've narrowed it down to these worlds."

"From among _thousands?_ " Konstantine interrupted in mild shock. " _How?_ "

"An analysis of rebel hyperspace routes, their attacks on Imperial ships and facilities and, rather importantly, proximity to Lothal," he stated, looking at each of them individually before concluding with, "You're dismissed."

 _Could this cycle get any worse?_ Kallus found himself wondering as they began to exit the office. Him on the verge of being found out, Ezra imprisoned aboard the _Chimaera_ , and now Thrawn a hairsbreadth from discovering the location of the rebel base...where the rest of the Spectres were...where Zeb and Lia were...where literally everything he still cared about in the galaxy was. They couldn't just leave this. They would have to rectify the situation _before_ escaping.

"Agent Kallus," Yularen held him up as the other two officers continued on, "you've had multiple encounters with the rebels in this sector. Any thoughts on our traitor?"

Yularen, at least, still trusted him, then. If he'd suspected him even one iota, he wouldn't ask for advice like this. Kallus felt only a little guilty as he began his speculation.

"A high level intelligence leak suggests an officer."

"True," the colonel conceded, "but in our technological system, accessing information tends to be _easier_ than having the means to _transmit_ it without the Empire's knowledge."

"Perhaps...the communication devision?" he suggested.

"Too obvious," the man shut his ruse down quickly. "Whoever this spy is, they have a method of transmitting that we are, as yet, unaware of."

"If I can do anything to help..." he offered vaguely.

"I'll let you know," his former mentor said with a nod. He closed out with a brief, "Agent," before heading back into the office, the door sealing behind him.

"It is said no traitor escapes the eye of Yularen for long," Lyste said conspiratorially as they fell back into step together.

"I guess we'll see," he said, stopping short just in time to avoid running into Governor Pryce as they rounded a corner.

"Kallus," she started when she noticed it was him. "I saw a report that a shuttle theft from Lothal was prevented."

"Actually, Lieutenant Lyste was responsible for that," he said, pulling the young man forward and deftly removing himself from the equation. _This_ was how he could orchestrate their escape.

"Really?" the governor asked in clear surprise. "Well, that deserves commendation."

"Th- thank you, Governor," Lyste blustered out as she passed them.

"Step carefully," Kallus warned him once Pryce was out of earshot. "ISB is watching her," he continued in the same conspiratorial tone Lyste had used earlier as he placed an arm around his shoulder, surreptitiously exchanging his own code cylinder with the younger man's. "You should, too."

"What? _Why?_ " Lyste demanded quietly as Kallus backed away. "You don't mean- _Pryce_ is the rebel spy? _That's_ why she wasn't in the meeting," he growled quietly, a mask of righteous indignation settling over his features.

"Thrawn has no proof yet, but I'm sure he'd be grateful if you kept an eye on her," he said, nodding subtly after Pryce.

"He can count on me," Lyste said boldly, marching off not-so-subtly in the direction the governor had gone. He would never be an espionage agent. That much was certain. It hadn't taken much, though. Give a young man with fire in his belly an enemy and a goal...

 _Wasn't that you once, though?_ he asked himself guiltily in the quiet of his own mind. Shaking his head, he started to make his way toward the detention block. It wasn't right, to get Lyste involved in this, but he had no time left. He needed a situation he could manipulate quickly and easily. Otherwise he and Ezra would be out of the frying unit and into the fire, Phoenix Cell would be in deep, and his family would be in danger. That wasn't an outcome he would willingly allow. So he would do what he had to.

It didn't take much to find the cell they'd taken Ezra to. Chopper and the other droid were squabbling outside of it. While they carried on, Kallus carefully deactivated the security on the block with Lyste's cylinder, making certain he wasn't going to appear on any security footage. He might've been getting out, but it was no less in his nature as a special agent to cover his own tracks. Opening up the cell door, though, he quickly found it empty.

Rolling his eyes, he shook his head almost fondly as he glanced up into the cell's overworkings. "Would you _please_ stop that?"

Ezra quickly summersaulted back down into the cell, smirking, even though his hands were still bound. "What? It worked before. Now let's get outta here."

"None of us will be leaving without the clearance codes to this ship," the inventory droid reminded them unnecessarily as Kallus moved to unlock the latest set of binders.

"Ooh," Ezra winced as his wrists dropped free. "I hadn't thought of that."

Oh. Right. Jedi though he was, he was still an apprentice, still a boy. Perhaps the reminder _was_ necessary.

"We've another complication on top of everything else," Kallus said as Ezra turned to face him. "I've just learned Thrawn is very close to locating Phoenix Cell's base. That we cannot allow."

The young Jedi's cavalier attitude quickly shifted into a look of worry as he looked up at Kallus. "So what are we gonna do about it?"

"We will need to erase it from his database, plant a decoy target or two in its place to stall for time," he mused.

"That's no problem. I can give you the coordinates for-"

"I don't want to know the location," Kallus interrupted him, holding up a hand as he shook his head. "I've never known where any of the bases are located and it's very much intentional. If we are captured

 _before_ escaping, it will be better if only one of us possesses the information they seek. I will learn the location only the moment we arrive there, not a second sooner."

 _I will_ _ **die**_ _before I jeopardize the Spectres' safety in_ _ **any**_ _way._

"Still leaves us with the problem of actually making the switch," Ezra pointed out.

"If I may," the AP unit started in, "We can accomplish both our goals by infiltrating Grand Admiral Thrawn's office. Agent Kallus can keep our base hidden, and _we_ can gain the clearance codes we so desperately need."

It was a reckless plan, almost certain death if captured, but just maybe foolhardy enough to work. After all, if Ezra was advanced enough in his Force abilities, he _might_ be able to talk his way past the guard on duty.

"Okay. We'll do it, but how will we know if Thrawn is in his office?" the young Jedi asked Kallus.

Thoughts immediately moving to a recently opened avenue, Kallus went for his comlink. "Lieutenant Lyste, where are you?"

"Following Pryce," his tinny voice sounded over the link. "She's heading to the detention cells with Admiral Thrawn and Colonel Yularen."

"Stay on her, but remember Lieutenant...don't let them see you," he warned him before disconnecting. Then he gave Ezra a once-over, hoping the uniforms came small enough. "We'll have to get you a uniform."

"Oh, joy. Always wanted to wear an Imperial monkey suit," the boy griped as they headed out of the cell.

Thankfully, uniform dispensary was just forward of the detention block, leaving them minimal obstacles to deal with. While Ezra perused the selection of uniforms available to him, Kallus couldn't quite stop himself from asking, "What happened?"

"Hmm?"

"What was it that happened...that alerted Command I may have been tapped?"

"Oh," Ezra started hesitantly as he finally selected a uniform. "General Dodonna...his fleet was ambushed by Thrawn during their last haul."

 _Oh, stars._

"Was anyone hurt?"

Ezra nodded. "A few pilots died, some were injured, but they mostly got clear. We loaned them a few pilots and some medics to help get their fleet through safe to our sector. It's taking longer than we wanted, but we've gotta be more careful now."

"Of course," Kallus said, slowly turning away from the boy, both allowing him privacy to change clothes and to conceal his own vulnerability. It _was_ his fault, really. He should've planned better, should've realized Thrawn would anticipate Dodonna's movements, advised them to plot an entirely new, entirely random jump grid. If it had been the whole fleet, they might've all been dead now. First Manaan, and now this. Who could say _when_ they'd be able to carry out their attack on Lothal? And how much _longer_ might it take without him on the inside to pass them vital intel?

 _You can't be thinking of sticking it out,_ he scolded himself. _They're right on top of you. You've seen the evidence yourself. This truly is the_ _ **last chance**_ _to escape._

 _But...Zeb...Lia...the other Lasat...the Rebellion...what will I do for them? What is the good of being safe if the Empire ultimately comes down on us?_

He couldn't hold back the whole Empire. He knew that. Of _course_ he did, but...the tiniest bit of aid...the smallest moment of relief for such ragged, faithful warriors...didn't he owe them that? Wasn't it worth all his pain and suffering? Even his own _life?_

 _Garazeb...Arkalia...I made a vow to protect you. Even if I don't yet know everything that that means, I_ _ **will not**_ _forsake that vow. Hopefully, I'll have the chance to explain that to you one day._

 _Rever falna bogtyl._

 _Hold back the darkness._

Kallus was drawn from his thoughts by the feel of Chopper bumping repeatedly against his leg, warbling plaintively up at him. Alex managed a small smile as he ran a gloved hand over the droid's repainted dome.

"No more than any organic thinks of something foolish," he answered the droid's question softly, only for his hearing.

The droid simmered with annoyance for a moment, but his actual response came to Kallus like both a sucker punch to the gut and a balm to his suddenly aching heart.

 _Organic Kallus...if I have to tell that fool Lasat about how you 'bravely gave your last breath for the Rebellion' or whatever it is you moron organics do...I may have to figure a way to upload my own consciousness to this afterlife of yours so I can electrocute you myself._

It almost drew a laugh from him. Almost. It was, he imagined, the closest Chopper ever came to proper sentiment with someone not Hera Syndulla. But...maybe...just maybe...

" _Kes...kes La or'sultir sovirin rika..._ ," he began in Lasana, unsteady at first, but gradually gaining strength, " _velkir an sollerul sarav na se?_ "

 _If I_ _ **have to**_ _..._

" _Aribirul...zer kes La or'sultir azallir, ni ashkerra se'ul sylf orror bejir...orran elir. Aribirul La sylfa ithrir Lia'ahn omeshi li kishin morra. Garazeb Orrelios san ni Tinsana gal ni silana. Ul na solla falna ni zash ki ul lira aldosal kerra envash na valat se elian. La tefsa savarir La sylf orror sanat dev mokorrimat sav jakorra,_ " he finished as Ezra rejoined him.

 _Kriffing sentimental organics,_ Chopper whirred, the sound akin to an angry swarm of insects.

"Thank you."

"What's going on?" the young Jedi asked them.

Chopper's next response neared screeching tones, which they all winced at.

"Yeah, tell me something I _don't_ know," Ezra snipped back.

"We should get moving," Kallus said, his small moment of reflection instantly gone.

"No, that I do know," the boy joked back as they headed back out into the ship. It wasn't long before he was starting to gripe again. "I liked being a bounty hunter better."

"We all make sacrifices," Kallus returned in a droll tone.

"Okay," the boy said before they turned down the corridor outside the office, "AP-5, stand guard here and let us know if anyone's coming."

"Oh, good. The thankless job," the droid prattled in his oddly sarcastic straight voice.

As they approached the guard on duty, Kallus nodded Ezra's attention toward him and muttered, "See that trooper? Convince him you are Lieutenant Lyste. Here is his code cylinder," he instructed, slipping the device to him. "Get him to open the door with it."

"I am Lieutenant Lyste," Ezra began in a pretty kriff poor imitation of a Core accent, but Kallus supposed that didn't matter all that much when he noticed the slight wave of the young Jedi's hand. "Admiral Thrawn told you to expect us."

"Lieutenant Lyste. Thrawn told me to expect you," the trooper repeated in an eerily blank voice, taking the cylinder from Ezra without question and accessing the door with it. Then he handed it back and stood aside, allowing them through.

"Can you do that to _anyone?_ " Kallus asked once the door had sealed behind him.

"Phfft, no," Ezra half-laughed. "Don't you think we would've tried it on you? Suggestion only works on somebody's who's...open to persuasion, I guess. Somebody's who's head's not strong enough to resist it. Hey!" he started suddenly, seeming to recognize one of the pieces Thrawn had on display. "That's Hera's-"

Kallus grabbed his shoulder before he could grab the piece and set off an alarm. "We're not here to steal art," he reminded him, much though he knew they'd both love to reclaim something that belonged to Hera. They'd never be able to just walk out with it. They had to get them _selves_ out safely first.

"Chopper just stole the codes!" Ezra hissed in argument, nodding toward the astromech, who had quickly plugged himself into Thrawn's desk, but when Kallus remained unmoved, he bit out, "Fine. Chop, transmit the codes to Kanan."

"And once you've done that, we should see what we can do about erasing the base."

Chopper quickly complied, bringing up Thrawn's search grid once the codes had been sent out. Ezra took a look at the scattered red lights and gulped nervously. "You were right. Thrawn _is_ close to finding the base."

"Chopper, erase that and one other planet, then add two more as decoys," Kallus told him as he turned away from the grid, not wanting to see the switch take place. He knew better than to think that simply one erased planet would protect the rebels for long. Thrawn had managed to winnow the number of planets down to a figure so small, he would undoubtedly notice one change to his search grid. He would notice two as well, but the uncertainty over which of the lost two it could be might just be enough to give the cell time to flee. At this point, he would snatch _any_ opportunity he could give them.

"Good call," Ezra said.

"It won't be much, but with Thrawn, you take every advantage you can get."

"Unfortunate news," AP-5's voice sounded over Kallus' comlink. "Grand Admiral Thrawn is headed for his office."

" _What?_ Eh- try to stall him!" Ezra called back.

"Oh, wait. I can't. He's at the door."

"I'll handle it," Kallus said firmly, heading back to the training room before Ezra could even respond. Trusting the young Jedi to hide when he heard the doors open just behind him, he moved toward the deactivated assassin droids, quickly slicing into their programming centers and shutting down Thrawn's override codes. Then he set them loose.

The droids barged violently out of the training room and he heard them make quick work of the troopers accompanying Thrawn.

"Override code: Rukh!" he heard the grand admiral snap, also hearing fresh blaster fire when it failed. Being careful to keep himself hidden, he looked out into the office proper to see Thrawn firing off several desperate shots before his own droids engaged him in hand-to-hand. Gaze darting around in search of Ezra, he finally spotted him and Chopper hiding behind Sabine's graffitied wall.

 _Come on, Ezra. This might be our only chance!_ he urged silently, not daring to call out.

Then, in the middle of a particularly brutal exchange of kicks and leaps, Ezra finally made a run for it. But Thrawn did catch sight of his retreating form.

" _Lyste!_ " he shouted after him before snarling out another command. "Override code: _Lysatra!_ "

But still it failed to deactivate the droids and the three were able to make a run for it.

"Assassin droids?" Ezra asked him with an awed, amused grin.

"You're welcome," he returned with a similarly reckless smirk as they ran, barely keeping AP-5 in tow. A decent parting gift for the grand admiral, even if he'd never know it was from him.

They made good time to the hangar at the pace they set, and when they arrived, it was to see two troopers disembarking a newly arrived shuttle.

"There's our ride," Ezra noted with relief. Kallus, though, was not so quick to it when he saw who was approaching said ride.

"And _there's_ Governor Pryce."

They weren't close enough to hear the exchange of words, but certainly close enough to see the moment the taller of the two 'troopers' slowly started to raise a hand.

 _Fool,_ he groaned inwardly, but then, he supposed Kanan had never properly come up against Pryce. There was no way she would fall for it.

And indeed, she did not disappoint. Within seconds, she'd given an order and her escort was firing on the Jedi. Kanan went down and his companion fired on Pryce's trooper, whom he quickly took down. But then Pryce herself kicked the blaster from his hands and engaged him directly, battling him across the floor.

"Chopper, seal the doors!" Ezra ordered when they noticed reinforcements on the approach. He and Chopper quickly moved in to try and help, but Kallus hung back, taking just that one extra moment to survey the scene.

And that one extra moment afforded him the sight of Lyste running toward the fray, blaster drawn.

Time almost seemed to slow for him as a plan took shape in his mind. It was crazy, _insane_ , but like most things in his life recently, it might just be insane enough to work.

Briefly, his gaze darted to the shuttle...his way out, his way _home_. Probably the last chance he would ever have. The last chance to truly live...to not die in an Imperial uniform...

 _But that choice was made long ago, wasn't it? When you chose to be party to the_ _ **murder**_ _of innocents._

 _ **Rever falna bogtyl.**_

 _Zeb...please forgive me._

Then he was running, barreling full tilt toward the skirmish as he watched it all unfold before his eyes. Pryce took down the other rebel, but just as she was about to shoot him, Lyste fired on her from behind, stunning her.

The two 'troopers' helped each other limp back aboard the shuttle as Ezra and the droids ran up to it. Kallus couldn't quite make out what Lyste said, but he did hear Ezra's words as he turned to give the lieutenant a roguish grin and a jaunty salute.

"Bad choice."

"You!" Lyste cried out in shock as he raised his blaster for another shot. "You're the shuttle thief who-"

Kallus tackled him to the floor before he could fire on Ezra. While he lay dazed on the ground, Kallus quickly exchanged their cylinders.

"Come on! We've got to go!" he heard Rex snapping at him as he got to his feet. But he steeled himself as he watched the shuttle ramp begin to close, rooting himself to the spot. He had to be strong right now.

"Kallus! Come on!" Ezra called down to him, hand held out, but the rebel agent just stared back at him with resolve in his eyes, hands clenched into fists at his sides as he struggled to keep his breathing even.

"There's been a change of plans now that _I've_ captured Fulcrum," he said succinctly.

He watched the play of emotion across the young Jedi's face, his blue eyes widening in shock, horrified denial, before ultimately melting into acceptance and respect.

"I can do more good _here_ ," Kallus said with finality, though it was a struggle to keep his voice from breaking outright on the last word.

Then the ramp was sealed and the shuttle was lifting off. Kallus actually had to take a moment to wipe away the sting of tears before taking a few cursory potshots at the fleeing vessel. But then it was gone, and the act was on again.

"Traitor! _You're_ the rebel spy!" Kallus shouted for all the hangar to hear as he jerked the still-dazed Lyste to his feet. "Troopers! _Seize him!_ "

"Wha- what are you _talking about?_ " Lyste mumbled in confusion, but that confusion quickly morphed into shock and fear when several stormtroopers converged on him.

"Take him away," Yularen ordered as he approached.

"No...w- wait!" the young man protested, beginning to struggle in earnest as he was led away. " _I'm_ not the spy! Governor Pryce is!"

"It seems you stopped our spy from escaping, Agent Kallus," the ISB colonel said as he came to stand beside Kallus, a small note of pride in his voice. But the agent felt a painful twinge of guilt in his own heart when he heard Lyste begin to scream.

"Tell them, Kallus! It's _her!_ _She's_ the one! _KALLUS!_ "

Just one more scream, one more desperate cry to add to the endless litany of his nightmares. Thrawn, at least, should not execute Lyste without proper hard evidence, but if the boy actually _died_ for this, Kallus knew it was yet one more thing he would never be able to forgive himself. He would tell himself it was necessary...on nights when he couldn't sleep...that it was for a higher purpose, a cause he believed in.

But he had believed in the Empire once. Was he truly any different now than when he'd first begun?

XxX

To say that Zeb hadn't taken it well when the extraction team had returned without Kallus was an understatement of gross proportion.

His claws had gotten the first good workout they'd had since Bahryn, shattering stone and rending metal support struts. He couldn't exactly blame Hera for ordering him to take a walk.

 _"I get it. I do. We_ _ **all**_ _wish he hadn't done it, but I get that this is harder for you. You have every right to be angry, to feel sad, but this base can only take so much punishment. You need to calm down."_

So he'd been out kicking around one of the perimeter checkpoints for the last hour or so, breaking stone, sharpening his underused claws on the stuff. His anger had largely drained away. What remained was sorrow – sorrow and questions that only one man could answer.

 _Why, Alex? Why would you_ _ **do this?**_ _They'll kill you. They'll_ _ **kill you!**_

Zeb wasn't really surprised when he heard the shuffle of shifting stone. He supposed _somebody'd_ have to come for him sooner or later. What _did_ surprise him, though, was that the approaching sound ultimately resolved itself into the whir of droid treads rather than the patter of footsteps. There were only a few possibilities, but the absolute last thing he'd expected to see upon looking toward the source of the noise was Chopper, rolling toward him still covered in Imperial paint. The astromech wobbled briefly from side to side on his treads, posing an impertinent question in whistles and whirs.

"Heheh, yeah, you should be so lucky," he snarled quietly back. "What do you want?"

The droid warbled succinctly as he came to a stop beside him.

"That's a first. There some hidden explosive I should know about?"

Chopper began to whistle and chirp indignantly at this, jerking inelegantly from side to side. Zeb just growled as he shook his head.

"Get outta here, Chop."

The droid whirred a low negative in response.

"Fine. _I'll_ go," he started, beginning to stomp away, but quickly found himself stopped by a pincer arm gripping at the leg of his battle suit. Looking back over his shoulder at the little droid, he offered him a positively _venomous_ glare. "Chop, if you don't let go a' me or shove off right this kriffin' _minute_ , I'm gonna-"

A shrill screech was the astromech's response to this. He beeped and clicked several times as he began to vibrate on his treads.

"Message?" Zeb repeated as the incensed droid finally released him. "What message?"

Without wasting further binary, Chopper began to play a recording from his memory banks. No visual, just audio, but it was still very distinctly Kallus' voice, speaking in only mildly accented Lasana.

" _Tell him...even if I do not survive, my love for him will never fade...nor die. Tell him I would kiss Lia's ears one last time. Garazeb Orrelios is my Tinsana and my savior. He gave me back my life when he had every reason in the galaxy to leave me for dead. I only regret I will never be able to repay that debt._ "

Zeb couldn't say how long he stood there, frozen beside the little murder bot. He didn't truly become aware of the fact he was crying until he heard it in his own voice.

"Karabast..." he hissed out through the tears and the tightness in his throat. " _Karabast..._ you...you stupid- kriffing..."

He couldn't manage anything else. All he could do was stand there, tears streaming down his face as strangled, guttural sobs escaped his throat.

Chopper stood silently all the while, with no snappy comeback or snarky insult for once. He just stood there, letting the Lasat rest his trembling hand on his dome.

XxX

Kallus was more than just bone-tired by the time he dragged himself back into his quarters aboard the _Veritas_ at the end of the cycle. The exhaustion went deeper, straight down to his soul. He didn't even bother stripping off any of his armor before collapsing on his bunk, too drained to care about much of anything else. He didn't know _how_ he was going to force himself to stand again at the end of the sleep shift.

He was so out of it, in fact, that it took him several minutes to notice he had an incoming transmission. His personal comlink was pinging, letting him know someone was trying to contact him.

 _Zeb._

The former Imperial trembled weakly as he reached for the comlink. He both did and did not want to talk to his lover right now, but also knew that he _must_. He owed him that much.

Kallus didn't speak when he first opened up the link, just lay there staring at the device in his hand. But Zeb didn't speak either. All that was coming through the connection was the sound of heavy, labored breathing.

" _Ni ashkerra,_ " he finally found the strength to make his mouth work after who could say how many minutes.

" _Ku?_ " was all Zeb said in response, and Kallus could tell just from the sound of his voice that he'd been crying.

 _Why?_

" _An_ _ **rokir**_ _ku_ ," he returned, gripping the comlink tightly. "I- I _had_ to. I saw an opportunity and I took it."

"Alex, he's gonna figure you out. He's gonna find you and he's gonna _kill you_." He wasn't talking about the Empire now. It was just Thrawn. _Thrawn_ would find him, and Thrawn alone would make an example of him.

"Likely that's true," he said, his own eyes on the verge of spilling the tears he'd been holding back. He was so starsdamn _tired_ of being the strong one. He didn't think he could keep it up much longer if Zeb kept talking to him like this.

"So _why?_ "

"Because I kriffed up," he struggled to explain. "Because it was _my fault_ Dodonna's people were attacked."

"Alex-"

"It _must've_ been," he insisted, curling tightly in on himself. "I don't know how, but I must've been tapped. Lyste's arrest will give me time, but not much. I'm going to do everything I can to keep him from finding you."

"And how do you plan to do that if you're _dead?_ " Zeb demanded.

"As I said, any way I can," he said firmly, though he could feel the tears beginning to slip.

"Alex, this is _crazy._ You can't keep this up forever," the Lasat tried to argue.

" _I know that!_ " he finally snapped out, the tears beginning to trickle furiously down his face as his will to keep them in finally cracked. "Z- Zeb...I'm sorry, I just- I c- I can't..."

"Hey, hey," his lover immediately began to soothe, as if he could reach across a distance of light years and hold him, cradle him in his arms and tell him it would be all right. "I'm sorry. I'm just worried. You make me crazy. You know that?"

Alex didn't try to speak after that, though he did smile faintly at the Lasat's words. For a time, he just lay there, crying softly while his lover soothed him, letting him finally give voice to all the guilt, tension, fear, and anguish that had been building up beneath his hardened outer shell. He wished he really could just lie down with his lover, lie in gentle darkness and be held by him, comforted, cherished, and loved. But the galaxy was not so kind as that, and this was all they might ever have...because he loved Zeb too much to risk that Thrawn or the Empire might ever get ahold of him. He really would _die_ before he allowed that to happen.

It must have been several hours he lay like that, still weeping occasionally, sometimes talking with Zeb, but also just lying in silence, comforted in knowing that he was connected to Zeb, even in this smallest of ways.

"Y'know, you- should probably get some sleep," Zeb eventually pointed out. "You've had a helluva long day."

"It's fine," he returned. "This has restored me more than you can know. I just- needed to hear your voice...to know this wasn't all for nothing."

"Nah. Doin' somethin' for love's never for nothin'. I get why you did it. I was just upset. I shouldn't'a took it out on you."

"You could hardly be blamed, though. I'm quite aware I did something foolish."

"Yeah. How long are you gonna keep this up, Kal?"

Alex sighed as he sat up, running a hand through his slightly mussed hair. "I know I've always said until I no longer can, but perhaps a compromise this time?" he suggested. He didn't know if he'd be able to uphold it, but if it would make them both feel better about this...

"I'm listening."

"I will stay until you've found a new base. You _know_ this one can't remain hidden forever. All I've really done is bought us time. Once a new location is discovered, I'll be able to erase it from their systems entirely. That may do us some good."

"And once that was done, you'd finally leave?"

"Yes. I think I would be able to then. That would be something that could _truly_ do the Rebellion some good. A base that can't be plotted."

"All right then. I'm holdin' you to that. I'll see what Hera and the rest of Command have in the works. They're always lookin' for new spots."

"Good. You'll need them. But...Zeb...one other thing. And- please, don't dismiss me this time," he requested, bringing to mind the other thing that had been weighing on his mind.

"Uh-oh."

"Why aren't you sleeping?" he asked him, the words heavy in his mouth like stones. "Ezra said you haven't been eating. Why? And _don't_ lie to me, Zeb. I'll know if you're lying."

Zeb's initial response was nothing more than a long sigh, but he didn't just disconnect, so Alex was at least grateful for that much. When he finally did speak, it was with the same heaviness Alex had felt.

"At first, it was- worryin' over you. Really didn't know if you were dead or alive for a bit there'n...not knowin' wrung me out so much just the idea of eatin' would make me sick. If I lay down, I couldn't sleep for worryin'. But- when that was less immediate...that was when the dreams started movin' in."

"Dreams?" Alex repeated, fearing he could tell where this was going.

"I dream about...bein' trapped in the sens-dep unit. I can't really- explain to ya a lot of the things I saw in there, but...it was bad. Every time I close my eyes, I see it all again...and I can't sleep for it. I don't know what to tell you."

Alex drew in a long breath of his own at his lover's words. The idea of Zeb suffering like this brought him to the verge of his own bout of nausea, but there was truly nothing he could do about it. Not from here. Maybe if he'd gone today...

No. No, there was no sense in even entertaining those thoughts. It was done and could not be undone.

"Well...at least- _try_ to make an effort...for me, if nothing else."

"That's pretty much all I can promise."

"Perhaps I'll be able to help you sleep...when I come back to you," he said softly.

"Maybe. My big strong knight in standard issue ISB armor. Maybe he can keep the nightmares away."

Alex couldn't help but laugh at the notion of _Zeb_ of all beings calling _him_ big and strong, but it brought a smile to his face nonetheless.

"Maybe. So you had best not delay."

"Never could. _L'ashkerrir an, Ashvahn ni malmanahn._ "

Alex perked up a bit at the new words. "What is that one? I don't think I've come across it yet."

" _Ashvahn ni malmanahn?_ Means 'Moon of my sky'. You've been doin' so good with it lately, I thought you might like it."

"I do. Chopper gave you my message then?"

"Yeah. Guessin' you weren't really plannin' on leavin'?"

"I didn't know what might happen. I thought it best to be prepared...for any eventuality. If I were- to never see you again...I would want you to know how I love you."

"Well, you'll tell me yourself...when we're together again."

"Yes...of course," he said, uncertain though he was that it would actually happen. "I love you, Garazeb... _Ashvahn ni malmanahn._ "

"Yeah, that was good. Next time?" Zeb asked, reverting to that old habit of theirs.

"Next time," he whispered back before cutting the connection. He honestly wasn't certain when or even _if_ he would see Zeb again, but there was always the hope.

There _had_ to be hope.

XxX

Thrawn was slow to anger.

In his experience of the Sith philosophy, they seemed to believe anger was where the only true power lay, but in his personal experience, anger served no true purpose for a warrior. The flame burned brighter and hotter for a few minutes, certainly, but ultimately burnt itself out too quickly. The key to victory was in cool, calm reason.

So when anger _did_ infiltrate his strictly regimented mind, it tended to be more than mere anger. It was the sort of emotion he imagined the humans would describe as blinding fury. And even though while under its influence, he was still in control of his most deadly weapon, his mind, it was a very rare scenario that could allow it in.

Being so completely fooled by Alexsandr Kallus for nearly a _year_ was one such scenario.

 _Why did I not see it?_ he was constantly asking himself as he sifted painstakingly through the agent's history. _Why did I not see it and what would facilitate such a complete shift in ideology?_

 _Why_ he didn't see it, he could now readily admit to himself, was because he had perhaps been a little too eager to discover in the human an intelligence very near to his own. He had viewed the man nearly as an equal and had thought to one day be able to use his talents against the threats he knew this galaxy faced. The loss of such a brilliant mind was a true blow to the Empire he envisioned, but he had before tried to convince other brilliant minds held sway by the Rebellion's ideals and seen nothing but failure. It seemed there was no turning back from the course the man had set himself on. Even so...

It was not enough merely to unmask Kallus as Fulcrum. Thrawn needed to know _why_. What was it that had caused such a dedicated warrior to transform his ideals so completely?

In search of answers, the grand admiral had delved into every scrap of data concerning Kallus and the Spectre Cell he could dredge up. At first, the encounters had been routine and well-documented, mission reports and security holos and the like. But as time went by, the data became less specific. Reports lacked the in-depth analysis he had come to expect from the Coruscanti, and security footage tended to be incomplete or missing altogether. He could gather _why_ that was, of course, but _what_ had occurred to change it? When had they lost ISB Agent-021?

The answer came, at last, in three separate security recordings. The first was from the mostly destroyed data from the battle in Ahto City. The cams in the city streets had largely been destroyed by the fighting, but a few had managed to remain active. The recordings from one featured Kallus engaged in combat with Zaniva Subject Aurek 246. He had watched Kallus in combat many times before and could fairly easily tell when he was truly engaged in a battle.

He was not engaged in this one. He was not trying to win, only trying to stay alive.

Then a cry cut through the indistinct noises of the fighting.

"KALLUS!"

It was the voice of Spectre Four, Captain Garazeb Orrelios, and though the Lasat was not captured by the security recording, the sound of his cry was there, and it was not the sound of a hated enemy calling out to his adversary as it had been in the beginning.

No.

This cry was full of urgency, terror. It was the sound of one being crying out for another that they cared for. As more than just comrades perhaps.

And Kallus responded to that voice. He looked toward its source with an expression of relief. There was a connection there. He also witnessed the moment Kallus chose not to defend against his opponent's next strike, _chose_ to take such a grievous blow rather than harm his supposed enemy.

 _Could it be...?_

The cam had been destroyed after that, but he had seen enough from it to follow a lead. Narrowing his focus to the interactions of Agent Kallus and Spectre Four, he ultimately came across a faint, very corrupted snippet of security imaging from a trooper's helmet cam. Only a truly astute technician would've been able to pick out the fact that there were figures within the smoke captured in the image, but once he saw them, they became quite plain to his eyes. Likely the trooper wearing the helmet had already been dead at the time, but his helmet cam had managed to capture the one missing piece of data Thrawn needed.

Alexsandr Kallus and Garazeb Orrelios were standing together. The smoke obscured just how close, but Thrawn surmised it was _quite_ close from the way the Lasat had the agent's weapon pinned above his head with his own. They were not quite in intimate embrace, having either just locked lips or were about to, but the expression on Kallus' face spoke for itself.

Eyes half-lidded, cheeks tinted red, lips parted, neck craned forward, stretching toward the Lasat, chest expanded upon a heaved breath. Yes. No further evidence was needed.

Kallus was in love with Garazeb Orrelios.

Thrawn's mind supplied love rather than lust. He could at least say he understood the man well enough to know that he wouldn't have fallen for something as simple as lust. Though he knew this image alone would be enough to ruin Kallus' career, more so even than klicks and klicks of computer banks filled with evidence of espionage that could be compiled against him. This would be all the public would ever discuss should it come to light. Never mind the treason and espionage. No. It would all be talk of the politics of interspecies relationships and sexual deviance. The press would make a disgusting scandal for the Imperial public to feast on. And Thrawn had no stomach for politics so, in an effort not to demean what was clearly between the two and in respect to what he had once seen in the man, he would make an effort to keep this, at least, to himself.

The last piece of evidence had been one he'd turned up on a hunch – a suspicion regarding the former agent's potential connection to events on Alluria. He'd gone into the stored security recordings from Tria City at the time Kuross had filed his report. Just as the bounty hunter had described, he found a human in civilian clothing, wearing a cowl and carrying a knapsack. He could spot no evidence of Kuross' claim of there being a Lasat infant involved, though he didn't doubt it was there. For the most part the human's face was not visible beneath the hood, but there were enough frames for the grand admiral to _just_ make out the very distinct style of Kallus' facial hair.

So...a lover and a child. That was what Kallus fought for, the truth that compelled him. A family. Love. Not a poor cause to give oneself to, granted. But that little changed the fact that Kallus had betrayed the Empire, betrayed the emperor Thrawn had promised his allegiance to. More than this, he had stood against Thrawn himself...attempted to _defy_ him.

For this, Alexsandr Kallus would be punished.

"The man you sent for has arrived," Yularen informed him as he entered his office. "Although he seems a rather distasteful sort."

"He is that," Thrawn conceded as he aligned the three images from his search – Kallus and the kit in the Allurian market, the brief recording from the battle in Ahto City, and the image from the helmet cam. "And yet he is also the only being with any record of success in the task I have in mind."

Several moments of silence followed this, and when Thrawn turned back to look at the ISB colonel, it was to find him staring at the images with a mixed expression. The eyes were not wide enough for only shock or disgust, and the brow was not drawn enough for merely sadness.

"So Grand Admiral," the old warrior began, "do you mean to charge him only with treason and espionage...or do you intend to go so far as to include _perversion?_ "

"Only treason," Thrawn returned. "This last compilation has been only for my own edification. Whatever his crimes against the Empire, Kallus is still an honorable warrior and does not deserve to have his private affairs displayed before a ravening public. Treason will be a sufficient charge for execution but...I would also have him know utter defeat, utter- despair...long before he dies," he said, turning back to glare at the lineup of damning images.

"I still can hardly fathom- how a man of Kallus' character and intelligence is even capable of something so duplicitous," Yularen lamented. "It's madness."

"Madness?" Thrawn repeated in mild confusion as he glanced back at the colonel, seeing him still gazing at the images. Then he drew the man's attention to the latter two. "Have you looked at these images, Colonel? At his face? It is _love_...in point of fact. That is something a great deal more _dangerous_ than mere madness. But also...far more easily twisted."

If Yularen had anything to say in response, he didn't get the chance, because the office door slid open yet again, admitting a bounty hunter with unruly dark hair and a vest made of Wookiee fur.

"Colonel Yularen, this is Giren Kuross. His particular speciality is hunting Lasat."

"Got that right, blue ears. Figured I'd be hearing from you guys again. Finally follow up on my tip?" he asked, looking around the office as he moved.

"Indeed I did."

"Yeah, sorry I couldn't be upfront with ya last time, about me workin' for Zaniva and all. They had a pretty heavy non-disclosure in their contract," he said, coming to a stop beside Captain Syndulla's kalikori.

"As well they would. No matter. It is all in the past now. We have a different assignment for you now," Thrawn told him, bristling only slightly when the man halfway reached out to touch the artifact.

"Yeah? What is it, old man?" the bounty hunter asked, turning to him with plainly exaggerated interest. "Got some animals that need skinnin'?"

"I find myself in need of your expertise in tracking down Lasat. Two in particular."

"Which two? There's a lot of 'em runnin' around now with Ash Warrior belly up."

"One, at least, you are not unfamiliar with. Captain Garazeb Orrelios, former captain of the Lasan High Honor Guard."

"Heheh, yeah. I've seen Orrelios around. Almost bagged him once, too. Guess I'm due for a rematch. And it was two, did ya say?"

"Yes. If my theory is correct, this second Lasat will be the infant you saw that day in the market. Bring them both to me alive and you will be well-compensated."

Again, the human chuckled. "Alive I can do. Any more...specific instructions on their condition?"

"Unharmed is preferable. Un _spoiled_ if I must make that addendum, as well."

"All right, fine. Gotta exercise some self-restraint every now and then, I guess."

"If you require a place to begin your search, I would advise you to investigate our own Agent Kallus. Follow him and he will almost certainly lead you to the two Lasat."

"Right. I'll keep that in mind. Now about my fee-"

"Payment will be rendered once the service itself has been rendered, of course," the Chiss said, raising an eyebrow at the human, almost _challenging_ him to suggest otherwise.

"Right, right. Sure, sure. I got that. Actual payment'll be the standard rate, a' course. I'm talkin' about...on the _side_ here."

"Meaning?"

"I want one of 'em. Once you've done whatever it is ya need to do with 'em, I want one of 'em. Don't much care which. I can do a lot with one or the other, but that's part a' my askin' price."

"Unfortunately, the child is the property of Zaniva Biotechnologies. I am not free to include it in _any_ transaction."

"Orrelios, then. Let _me_ have him."

Thrawn surveyed the bounty hunter in silence a long moment. He _had_ thought to have the Lasat tortured and executed while Kallus was forced to watch, but perhaps this would be more suitable? For Kallus to die with the knowledge that his proud rebel warrior would spend the rest of his life, however long that might be, in chains.

"Yes. I believe we may be able to reach an agreement of sorts."

"Good. I'll be in touch when I have 'em," the bounty hunter said before turning and leaving. Once he was gone, Yularen turned to look at Thrawn with a raised eyebrow.

"Do we truly need to be working with scum of such a low degree, Thrawn?" the colonel asked him. "Even _I_ am beginning to question the necessity of all this."

"While I am inclined to agree that these means are extreme, a lesson must be taught, and this may be the only way the lesson will stick. We cannot have others following in Kallus' footsteps. If the ideology is not enough to hold those who ask too many questions in line, then the consequences must be severe enough that even the foolhardy would not invite them. We must demonstrate what _happens_ to those who are foolish enough to defy the Empire."

XxX

(A/N) Da-da-da-dum! Ominous Thrawn is ominous!

Phew, okay. So, having reached the end of 'Through Imperial Eyes' we have now come to the end of the second story arc, so that puts us solidly at the two-thirds mark. But now you've got to be asking yourself...if the final story arc starts with Zero Hour, what, oh what, is going to happen? *evil smirk of evil* Well, you'll just have to stick around to find out. Only other note I have for you this time around is one quick translation. Other than that, I'll be seeing you next time around.

 _Kes...kes La or'sultir sovirin rika...velkir an sollerul sarav na se?_ \- If...if I do not make it out...can you give him a message for me?


	16. The Only Heaven I'll be Sent To

(A/N) Phew! Okay, so sorry this chapter took so much longer. Remember how my computer needed an OS update a few months' back? Well...the dear girl was going on nine years old, so that only did so much. Ultimately just needed a new computer, so there's been the juggling of that...along with other- IRL things I think might merit a proper tumblr post in the near future. In the meantime, enjoy the new chapter.

(Fair warning, I haven't given this a proper editing read through. I figured you all would want it as soon as I could give it to you. I'll be editing over the course of the day. So if you come up against anything truly glaring, so sorry about that. It should be fixed shortly.)

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 16: The Only Heaven I'll Be Sent To (Is When I'm Alone With You)_

All things considered, Zelina would say she'd adjusted well to taking over Rihima's duties in the Lasat camp. With the lead medic's skills desperately needed in tending to the wounded from Dodonna's fleet, plus the sorting out of the whole biochip business, Zelina had been the only one of the medics with enough experience to be of any help to the Lasat mothers. So she'd begun to attend the births alone, and she'd had many successes, Zamare being her only real exception. And indeed, tonight's birth had started off well, everything proceeding as normal for Akinah and her little one. She was a third-time mother and had told Zelina that nothing seemed amiss so far. The other Lasat women gathered around their sister, talking to her and encouraging her through it. After a time, Zelina began to hear the chant they always seemed to sing during the births.

 _Or boger, morra san kirad_

 _Or boger, an s'ahn tollui san astyr_

 _Or boger, afen san olarnyl_

 _Or boger, Ashla san olar_

 _Or boger, emeran san ras karyn_

 _Or boger, ah sylf zashir sillerat an tarin_

 _Or boger, nali sa'amahn san karra_

 _Or boger, safkani rever an_

 _Or boger, aman'aki_

 _Or boger, aman lisahn lira_

"What does it mean?" the young Mandalorian quietly asked Lirian during another calm period. "I hear that song all the time now, but I've never thought to ask any of you what it's actually about."

Her friend smiled at her, thinking about it a few moments before answering. "A song the old midwives used to sing during births. We started singing it again during our imprisonment. I don't know that I could translate it exactly, but I can give you an idea." Then she began to speak the words in rhythm, not comfortable enough with the Basic words to try and sing them, but still getting down to the gist of it.

 _Fear not, the time is coming_

 _Fear not, your bones are strong_

 _Fear not, help is nearby_

 _Fear not, Ashla is near_

 _Fear not, the baby is at the door_

 _Fear not, she will live to bring you honor_

 _Fear not, the hands of the midwife are clever_

 _Fear not, the branches enfold you_

 _Fear not, little mother_

 _Fear not, mother of us all_

Zelina smiled as she listened. She couldn't tell if it was the words themselves or the warm atmosphere the women always created, but it made her feel safe. Safe and at home.

"That's nice. I like it. Think anyone would mind if I held onto it?"

Lirian returned the smile, reaching over to grip her hand. "Of course not. You're practically one of us anyway. I don't see the harm in one more sister singing away fear."

The singing continued well into the night, continuing even when the situation had passed from business as usual into more worrisome territory. Zelina kept checking her scans, but she couldn't figure out why this child wasn't wanting to be born. It didn't become apparent to her until she finally managed to make out a slender line on the hand-scan's grainy image that she hadn't noticed before.

 _Oh, no._

It was the umbilical cord. And it was wrapped around the baby's throat. There was no telling how long it had been like that, but being born would literally kill the poor thing. Who could say if there was even enough time to save him?

She would have to try.

"I see what's wrong," she started to talk Akinah through it. "The umbilical's gotten wrapped around his neck. Pushing's only been making it worse."

"Is- is he all right?" the Lasat panted, making a clear effort now to stop herself from pushing, the agony on her face plain to them all.

"We haven't lost him yet. My scans still show a heartbeat. But I don't have the tools to do this surgically, so I'm just going to have to go in myself and try to unwrap it. It's going to be painful. Worse than what you've had so far. Are you ready for it?" she asked her patient, just like she'd once heard her mentor doing.

Akinah nodded, squeezing her eyes tightly shut as she gripped the hands of the women supporting her. "Do it. Do what you have to."

"Lirian, can you hold the hand-scan for me?" she asked her friend. The young mother-to-be never hesitated. She took the device from Zelina's hands, holding it up so she could monitor it as she needed to. Then, recalling Rihima's motions from that first birth, she braced her left hand against Akinah's hip and started to work her right into the Lasat's body.

She tried to monitor her progress on the hand-scan at first, but ultimately found it was easier to just feel her way. Akinah's body was clenching against her now, involuntarily resisting the intrusion. If her screams were anything to go by, she likely would've been actively resisting it if the other mothers hadn't been holding her back.

This was somehow worse than Reith's screaming had been. Maybe because Reith was trained to deal with pain. Whatever it was, Zelina had to make a conscious effort to block out the sound. Otherwise she might freeze up and start to panic herself.

She felt the baby's head first, feeling up along the shape of his tiny ears until she came to the neck, her fingers seeking and finding the obstructing cord.

She tried as many angles of attack as she could think of, but for several minutes, the thing just refused to be moved. And in that time, the young medic heard the long, wailing tone from the hand-scan.

No heartbeat.

Akinah's screams changed with this. It wasn't just pain now. Now it was the hideous, drawn out keening of grief. They all knew what the sound meant. The young mother began to cry out in Lasana.

" _Orra! Orra!_ " she sobbed, desperate. " _Areh Ashla, ORRA!_ "

Zelina didn't give up, though. She kept trying, kept working until she finally managed to slip the infant free of the cord. He came quickly after that, pushed easily through his mother's body, but he wasn't aware of it. Skin that should've been a healthy lavender color was grey and lifeless.

Even so, the young medic wasn't ready to give up. Quickly cutting the little boy free of his mother, she whisked him away from the knot of Lasat women, not wanting Akinah to see what she was going to try.

Using a simple suction pipe, she cleaned the birth fluids from the infant's nose and mouth. She even went so far as to try and breathe for him, blowing gentle puffs of air into his tiny mouth.

But nothing worked. The tiny baby remained still and ashen in her arms, never having even drawn breath.

"Well?" she heard Reith's voice from somewhere behind her.

"Zel?" Lirian's voice soon followed in the sudden silence.

Zelina swallowed heavily, steeling herself as she turned back to face the anxious women. "I'm sorry," she whispered. "It's just no good. He's gone."

Akinah gave a single long cry at her words, but once the sound had passed from her body, she fell silent, lying still on the pallet. Zel could see the tears pouring soundlessly down her face as the others began to sing a different song – a song of mourning.

"I'm sorry," she choked out again as Reith came to her, gently taking the tiny body from her arms as she struggled to hold herself together. "I did everything I could."

"We know," Reith reassured her, cradling the little boy against her chest. "This isn't your fault, Zelina. It is, I think, in many ways...worse for her. On Manaan...when our little ones did not survive...it was almost cause for joy. To us, it meant...that one more innocent would not be trapped...as we were. But to lose this one now...when he might have been born free...it will go heavily with her."

"Let me hold him," Akinah's drained voice came to them across the tent. When Zel looked back at her, the expression on her face was numb and listless. "Let me hold him just once..."

Reith didn't question it. She carried the little thing to his mother, laying him reverently in her arms. As Akinah cradled her lifeless son against her heart, a fresh stream of tears flowed down her face, and Zelina knew, that even if she lived a thousand years, she would never be able to fathom the depthless grief that twisted the bereft mother's face. It was all-consuming, so complete in its devastation, the young medic found that she _had_ to look away. Either that or risk being pulled in herself. There was reporting that needed to be done, datawork that needed to be filed, but she just couldn't bring herself to do it right now. So, leaving Lirian to mourn with her own people, she withdrew from the tent, just walking. She didn't really care where.

She wasn't entirely aware of where it was she came to a stop, sitting down on the dusty ground and drawing her knees up against her chest, trapped somewhere between weeping and raging.

 _It wasn't your fault._

She knew that. Logically, she knew it, but...at the same time...she also knew she would never be able to forget the destroyed look in Akinah's eyes, the way her body had trembled with the weight of her grief, the way the tears had fallen so silently down her face...

"There you are. I've been...oh..."

Zelina heard the way Wedge's voice fell off before she'd even properly looked up at him. When she met his brown eyes, they looked stricken to see her in such a state.

"Wedge..." she whispered, the single word nearly strangled in her throat...just like that poor little boy...

"What happened?"

"Akinah lost her son. _I_...lost her son."

"Zel," he started to soothe as he sat down beside her, pulling her into his arms. "It's not your fault. You _know_ that."

"No, I know, it's not...I didn't...I _couldn't_...but it still happened. She was so heartbroken...and I couldn't do _anything_. What could I do? _What could I do?_ " she asked, the last slipping out as a sob.

"Shh. Sh, sh, sh," he continued to soothe as he held her. "You did everything you could. I _know_ you did. They know, too."

"Lirian's next," she choked out. "She's- the only one they're still waiting on. What if I let her down, too? W- what if I l-lose one of the t-twins? What if...what if I can't help Lirian?" she cried helplessly, clinging to her friend like he was the last solid thing in the world.

"You _can't_ let her down, Zel, not if you do your best for her. And if the worst happens, well...it happens. There's only so much we can do out here."

She knew it. She knew _all_ of it. But at the same time, it helped to just be able to cry, to bury her face in his shoulder and sob as if her heart were breaking...to grieve for a mother whose heart would forever be marked by sorrow, and for a child who'd never really had the chance to live.

Wedge didn't seem to begrudge her a second of it. He held her while she cried, rubbing her back, sometimes running his fingers through her hair. After she'd exhausted herself of tears, they just sat together, not speaking, just being with each other.

When she finally trusted herself enough to speak, she turned to look at him. "Why were you looking for me?"

"Hm?"

"When you found me earlier, you'd been looking for me. What did you need?"

Zelina didn't know if it could possibly be a trick of the weaker glow rods in the camp, but Wedge almost seemed to blush at her question.

"Oh, it was nothing. I just- wanted to let you know I'd be heading offworld in the morning."

"Oh?"

"Yeah. Mon Mothma's whole speech stirred up a lot of spirit. A lot of new missions have opened up. I took a little intelligence gathering assignment that- required an insider's touch," he said, maybe puffing up just a touch.

"And that's you?" she teased lightly. "Do you still count? It's been almost a year."

"Well, you never lose the attitude...that's what they say anyway," he said, something haunted and uncertain flickering behind his eyes for a moment. But before Zel could ask him about it, he shook his head and stood up, offering her a hand up. "Either way, we should probably _both_ be getting some sleep before then."

Zel's gaze flicked between the offered hand and his cheerful face for what felt like a long time, the whole situation pleasingly yet precariously familiar.

"How do you _do_ that?" she asked him.

"Do what?"

"Just- make it all better. Make me feel like all my problems melt away with a smile and a shoulder to cry on."

"Do I?" he asked with an uncertain smile. This time there was no mistaking it. He really was blushing. "Because the impression I usually get is that I _cause_ problems, not the other way around. Might be just you."

Zel stared up at him another long moment before responding. "You know...somehow I'm okay with that," she said as she took his hand.

XxX

Rex had promised himself a long time ago that he was done with war.

More than what could even be called the _typical_ traumas of a soldier (the knowledge of how easy it was to take life, the endless chain of senseless violence, the constant threat of knowing that any given moment might be your last), he had lost everything that truly mattered to him to the Clone Wars.

He had been indoctrinated to believe in the former Republic's ideas of freedom and fairness, but the hypocrisies of his own creators didn't mean he believed in those ideals any less. No. That faith he had developed on his own, through his brothers, through Ahsoka, through...Anakin. That had all been snatched away, swallowed up in the collapse of the Republic and the rise of the Empire. So the wars had taken his pride and his duty from him.

They had taken his brothers from him, transformed good, brave men into ugly caricatures of the purpose they had been bred for – the exact opposite of what they had grown to be.

The Clone Wars had taken his general from him. He didn't know exactly how, and he wasn't sure he _wanted_ to know, but even the stalwart and honest Anakin Skywalker had been swept up in the breathing darkness of those years.

And of course, worse still than all of that, the loss of Ahsoka, of their child, lost to the nightmare that had emerged from the Clone Wars. It was a loss that was still fresh for him, even a year later...probably always would be, if he were honest. It seemed that anguish was his reward for breaking his own promise to himself to stay away from wars.

Still...maybe it was better to have loved Ahsoka and lost her than to have never known her love at all. He had that, at least, instead of endless days in hiding on Seelos. And now, perhaps, even after all that, the galaxy really had led him to exactly where it needed him to be – on another out of the way world in the Outer Rim lending his knowledge, painful as it was, to people who needed it. He hadn't been able to help his brothers, but maybe he could help Zeb's people.

They'd given what they'd learned about Zaniva's biochips to Reith and Kar, figuring that the two former guards could present the knowledge to their people however they thought best. It had been more than heartbreaking to watch the understanding blossom in their eyes when asked if the children would begin to change in any way.

"Twelve," was the only answer Reith had given. "The ones we lost...it always began to happen when they turned twelve."

When Reith would offer no more than that, Orianne had requested they bring her one of each type of child. That way she might be able to figure out what was happening. They had done her one better, bringing a pair of twins to the medic's ramshackle infirmary. So, while she performed a series of scans, Reith and Kar hung back with Rex and Kanan, talking quietly while Orianne worked.

"It doesn't happen to all of them," Reith began to explain, a haunted look in her eyes as she cradled her own newborn firmly against her chest. For a moment, it didn't matter that she'd since cut her hair short. She looked like the same exhausted, hunted creature they'd pulled from beneath hundreds of meters of ocean. "But those it _did_ happen to, it was always twelve. They would start to forget things...things like- their siblings' names...and games they all played...and they became angry, angry and frightened and combative...and they would start to forget even larger things. They would forget their _own_ names, and...just...large pieces of their memories. Until one night, it would all be gone...and the following morning, they would be, too. It was like...it was like someone was stealing their lives from them," she finished, voice breaking at the last. There was sorrow and anger both in her eyes as she nuzzled Ash's tiny, fuzzy head.

"We knew it was connected," Kar continued when Reith could not. "When it was only _those_ children they took, how could it not be? But...we could never figure out how or why. So far as we could tell, it just- happened. But if they were secretly implanting them with these chips, that would explain it. Reith and I...we lost seven of our sons to it."

"Erily is fading," Reith said, almost more to herself as she looked back at Orianne with the twins. "But her brother has remained with us. Ankasha has tried to be strong for them both, but- it cannot be easy."

This was quickly demonstrated when Erily snarled at Orianne, shoving her away with her feet after her latest scan. Juvenile Lasat vs. grown Zabrak came out about evenly matched, so Orianne didn't stumble too far backward. Ankasha responded as quickly as he could, wrapping his arms around his sister and holding her tightly against his side. As he whispered to her, her expression slowly collapsed into something desolate. It didn't take long for it to fall completely blank. Orianne approached them slowly after that, asking Ankasha if it was all right to continue.

"Whatever they've done...is there anything that can be done to help them? The children?" Kar asked.

"Hard to say," Rex was the one to respond, something painful twinging in his heart at the blank look in the girl's eyes. "I've seen what these things can do in the short term. Even then, it didn't just wear off. It's tough to say what a more gradual program like this would do. Maybe the effect _can_ wear off with time. Maybe they can get back what was lost," he said, hearing the wishful thinking in his own voice.

"Or maybe all they can really do is...try to start over again," Kanan said softly, his sightless attention fixed in the direction of the medic and the two children.

"I do have to wonder, though...why not all of them?" Rex pondered. "Why only do this to half the kids? Do they all even have the chips?"

"Breeding," Reith answered coldly, her eyes still fixed on Erily and Ankasha. "They would've needed to keep breedable _stock_ on hand to continue their program. I don't doubt they wouldn't have wanted to _damage_ their _stock_ in any way."

That was it. No such consideration had been made for the clone army because they had been a...one time use. But the Empire had clearly meant to continue Ash Warrior in the long term. With how many Lasat they'd already killed, sustainability had to be considered.

"Well, I can at least answer your question as to whether they all have chips or not," Orianne said as she rejoined them, her datapad displaying some of the brain scans she'd taken of the twins. "If these two are representative of the overall trends, the answer is yes, they all have chips. From what I can tell in the scans, though, it seems they're just...not all active," she explained as she showed them the scans of the biochip in each sibling's brain. "Erily's is quite active, exerting a great deal of influence on the surrounding matter. Ankasha's chip, on the other hand, looks to be completely inactive."

"Then why even _put_ chips in all of them?" Kanan wondered.

"At a guess? A sense of control," the doctor responded. "Even if they'd prefer not to enforce the wipe on all their subjects, Zaniva would no doubt like to be able to hold the fact that they _could_ over all their heads. All I can say is that it's probably a good thing you took control of their facility from them when you did. It's likely they could've affected such a drastic measure as a last resort to prevent the escape."

Both Reith and Kar shuddered visibly at the notion. When Reith squeezed Ash that little bit tighter, she drew a displeased chirp from the newborn.

"Is there... _anything_ you can do?" the Lasat matron asked as she stroked her daughter's tiny head, soothing both herself and the little one.

"I can't remove them if that's what you're asking," Orianne said with a small look of bitterness. "I don't have the equipment for such a delicate procedure, not on such young patients. I wouldn't risk it. Complete removal will have to wait until you reach your new home. What I _can_ do for now is freeze the chips."

"Freeze them?" Kar asked. "How do you mean?"

"I mean I can use a cryoprobe to freeze them independent of the rest of the brain. The chips would cease to function and we wouldn't have to take the risk of more invasive procedures without proper equipment. Would this be a suitable course of action for everyone?" the Zabrak asked, looking around at all of them. There were only a few hesitant moments of silence before Reith responded.

"That seems, to me, the best choice we have at this point. Whatever we can do for our children, we have an obligation to try."

"All right. We'll begin with Erily and Ankasha. Rex, do you think you'd be comfortable observing?" Orianne asked him.

"I've- got no problem with it," he started, only partly lying. "Though I'm not sure what help I'm going to be."

"You've been through the removal procedure with your own chip. Even though I'm not removing it, anything you may recognize about the way it behaves might be helpful," she explained, nodding for him to follow her back in the direction of the twins.

Reith and Kar remained at a distance, but Kanan followed after them, observing quietly while the Zabrak woman prepared the cryoprobe from among her equipment.

"You know," he started softly to the Knight, barely hearing Orianne explaining to Ankasha and Erily what was going to happen, "you don't have to stick around for this. It's not gonna be much fun...reliving it all."

"No, it's not. But there are some old friends I owe it to. The men who served with me...under Master Billaba...when they killed her...tried to kill me...I was just a kid," he started to recount, an old wounded heaviness in his voice. "When things were so bad...when I was barely getting by...I found it easier to think they were just evil. That they'd turned on us and weren't truly capable of seeing us as friends. It made what I was going through more bearable."

"Well...you said it yourself. You were just a kid," Rex returned, mind alighting on a memory of Ahsoka back when he'd first known her – no more than a Padawan herself, so certain that there was good and there was evil and that nothing could possibly muddy the two. "Kids don't know any better."

"But I _should have_ ," Kanan argued, his voice a hiss of pain. "They were- my friends...all of them...and I just turned my back on all that. Never even occurred to me they could've been forced into it...that their choice was really taken away from them. I saw what these _things_ did to those young Lasat and I just started thinking...Grey...Styles...Mixx...they were...I don't know. Did they have to face that same nothingness? Maybe there was something we could've done to help them...before it was too late," the Jedi struggled to explain his thoughts.

"And if you start thinking like that, where do you stop?" Rex put to him, though he'd be lying if he said something in him didn't ease at hearing Kanan speak this way, especially after hearing the way he'd spoken the word _clone_ like an ugly curse when they'd first met. "I'm pretty sure if you could talk to them now, they wouldn't blame you for any of it. If they forgive you and you forgive them...I think that's enough. If we stay divided against ourselves, then the Empire wins. None of us want that to happen. We've gotta remember who the _real_ enemy is."

Kanan sighed. "You're right. You're right. I've been letting all this get to me."

"Hard not to," Rex said as he watched Orianne fix the probe to Ankasha's temple. "At least we clones were- mostly grown men. These are just kids. To see what's happening to them is rough, but...at least we _can_ help them. Maybe what my brothers and I went through...wasn't _all_ for nothing?"

"It wasn't," Kanan told him. "No matter what- _ultimately_ ended up happening, you guys still did some good for the galaxy."

Rex gave a small, fond laugh at that one, resting an easy hand on the Jedi's shoulder. "Well, thanks for that. Grey and the rest of 'em, I'm sure they'd be damn proud of the man you've become."

"Thanks," Kanan returned quietly. "It means a lot."

At least a few good things were coming out of this ugly scenario, because Rex distinctly felt something in his heart clench and crumple at the unpleasantly familiar sight of the biochip on Orianne's holographic readout. The thing pulsed in a way that could almost be described as nasty as the probe's ray fixed on it inside the young Lasat's brain. He couldn't forget the shape of the thing if he _tried._

He'd had his own removed after...what had happened to Fives. Under normal circumstances, he would've gone to Kix for anything like that, but...there was nothing normal about what had happened to Fives. He hadn't known what was happening, not really. But one thing he'd been certain of was that his brother wasn't crazy. If there was something he could do to make sense of what had happened to him, he'd been willing to do it.

He'd had to do it without Anakin's knowledge even, because if there was something to be made of the removal of the biochips, then it was something he was going to have to figure out on his own.

But then the 501st had gone to Mandalore to aid Ahsoka and...well...the rest was bitter, bloody, harrowing history.

 _It wasn't for nothing, Fives. I promise you,_ he thought as he watched the twin chip in Erily's head pulse and fall still beneath the cryoprobe. _You didn't die for nothing._

There was no change on the Lasat girl's face. Not really. But if some of the tension eased from her shoulders as she relaxed against her brother, well...that was worth every moment of pain he'd been through.

XxX

Zelina was awakened from a dead sleep by Jorrah roughly shaking her shoulders.

"Zel, please. _Please_ wake up. It's happening right now. She needs you!"

"Huh...wha-..." the young medic mumbled as she sat up from her cot, sleep still clinging to the backs of her eyelids.

"It's Lirian! She's gone into labor. She's asking for you. We have to go. _Now_ ," he insisted, starting to help her up from the makeshift bed. She was awake and on her feet in seconds, quickly gathering the preprepared equipment.

"I _knew_ I should've just started sleeping in the Mothers' tent," she berated herself as they headed from the base down into the camp.

"Wouldn't have been any point to it," Jorrah argued back. "They still need you up there, too. The soldiers take precedence."

"Not right now, they don't. Not to me," she snapped back. "Lirian's my friend."

 _I'm_ _ **not**_ _going to let her down. Not tonight!_

"When did the labor start?" she asked him.

"I don't know. I just know Reith woke me up and told me to come get you."

Then it could've been going on for hours already and none of them would've known it. Lirian herself might not have known it. It was early for her due date of course, but that was almost a given with twins. The cry they heard echoing through the camp was fairly telling of itself, though. Even so, when she was a couple of meters shy of the entrance to the med tent, she brought herself up short. Jorrah would've barreled her over had he been directly behind her. Instead he hurried past about half a meter before realizing she'd stopped.

"Zel, c'mon. We don't have time to waste."

"I just- I need a moment," she tried to explain. "When I go in there...I can't be her friend. I _have_ to be her medic. That's how it's got to work. I won't risk her _or_ her babies on any of my own failings. Go ahead. She needs you. I'll be along in a minute."

"Right," he said quietly. His body was tense with nerves, but there was understanding in his eyes. Nodding once, he turned and headed into the tent, leaving her to take several deep breaths.

 _This is nothing you can't handle. Nothing you haven't seen before. Just business as usual._

 _But it isn't._

 _It_ _ **will**_ _be. You will_ _ **make**_ _it,_ she scolded herself inwardly, bringing her traitorous thoughts in line. Daring to take only one more moment to ground herself, she exhaled and entered the tent.

Lirian was in the middle of a scream when she stepped through, so the Lasat didn't notice her at first. Going straight to Reith, she asked in a clipped voice, "How far along are we?"

"Only a few hours. Everything was fine at first, so I thought it best not to wake you right away. This is new," she said, nodding tersely at the young mother-to-be. "It's happening much faster than it should. She's nearly fully dilated."

"Well, let's see what's happening," she said, offering Lirian a comforting smile as she brought her hand-scan over to her. "Guess I know better than to ask how you're feeling."

"Kriffing straight you do!" Lirian snarled, gripping tightly at the hands holding hers. But her attitude quickly changed when the contraction passed. Jorrah was supporting her head and she readily collapsed against him, an agonized whimper escaping her lips. "Zel...it hurts. I don't- I don't know what's wrong. I didn't know. I- I _didn't know._ "

How could _anyone_ know? Anyone who hadn't lived through it? It wasn't a thing you could tell. Even with all her experience, Zel knew she didn't really _know_. All she could do now was do what she'd been put in the galaxy _to_ do.

"Sh, sh. I'm here now," she reassured the struggling mother as she ran her hand-scan. "It's going to be all right. I'm going to do whatever it takes to make sure you hold both your babies. I just need you _not_ to push for a little longer."

"I- I'll try," the young Lasat whimpered.

" _Fear not, little mother_ ," Zel joined in with the rest of the Lasat, offering her friend another reassuring look as she waited for the scan to finish. " _Fear not, mother of us all._ "

The hand-scan's results came back as Lirian launched into a fresh bout of screaming, and the young medic knew what she was seeing this time – the slender, barely visible line exactly where it shouldn't be, crossing the first baby's throat. Swallowing her initial jolt of panic, she looked up at the Lasat, waiting for the contraction to pass before speaking.

"It's the umbilical again," she said to her, fighting every moment to infuse calm into her voice. "But I think we've caught it early enough this time. You know what I have to do."

Lirian nodded through several labored breaths. "I know. I'm ready."

Zelina wasted no more words, barely even wasted time being gentle as she pressed into her friend's body, feeling for the head of the first baby. She was able to move much faster this time, knowing what it was she sought. She also didn't have to waste time searching for an angle she already knew.

Even so, it was no easier to listen to Lirian's sobs of pain. Tears were pouring down her face now.

"Please... _please!_ Just make it stop!" she begged in helpless agony with every move Zelina made. But the young Mandalorian ignored her friend, knowing that if she didn't there was a very real possibility they would all _three_ die.

The baby came quickly once she'd slipped him free of his cord, but even as he was coming into the world, she heard the telling wail of the hand-scan's alarm.

No heartbeat.

Lirian's tiny gasp at the sound stabbed Zel to the heart more painfully than any vibro-shiv ever could have.

 _No. No! NO!_ _ **NO!**_ _Not again. Not like this! This_ _ **isn't**_ _going to happen!_

Seizing her conviction, Zelina quickly cut the baby boy free of his mother. As she carried him away, she tersely ordered, "Reith, I'll need you to be ready incase the second baby comes."

The former guardswoman moved into Zelina's place, encouraging the young mother quietly in Lasana. Because Lirian _was_ going to be a mother. She was going to be a mother if it took the last breath in Zel's body.

Using the same technique from the previous birth, she suctioned the fluids from the baby Lasat's nose and mouth. Then she breathed for him, interspersing each breath with coaxing rubs and taps to his still chest.

 _Please, little one,_ she prayed through her feverish work. _We can't lose you, too._

For a long while, there was nothing. Zelina was nearly ready to give up when the baby suddenly coughed into her mouth, giving several weak cries and wriggling only faintly. He was large and well-formed, but plainly exhausted, too tired even to properly cry out. But there was no time to look over anything more. Lirian still needed her.

The young Lasat was half-incensed when Zel returned. Any coherent words had devolved into sobs and small screams. But the deadly distance in her eyes focused in a little more when Zel brought the little blood-soaked baby to her side.

"See, Li?" she offered up softly, letting her see the gentle twitching of the little one's ears. "It's your son. He's all right. I _promised_ you he would be."

The smile that moved across the new mother's face was at once broken and exultant. She reached a hand over to stroke a single finger along his fuzzy cheek.

"Hello...hello...my boy...my son," she called out weakly. "My Garazeb...little Zeb..."

Zelina glanced over at her friend in warm amazement. She was naming one of her sons, her firstborn no less, after Zeb? He was going to be so excited when they returned from their mission. She just had to make sure little Zeb's brother followed him safely into the world.

"He's coming right back," she promised her friend. "They just have to get him washed up."

"Garazeb...Garazeb..." she whispered over and over again as Zel passed the baby over to Tiri to be washed. But by the time the young medic had retaken her place, the new mother had fallen unsettlingly silent.

"Li?" Jorrah called out fearfully, shaking her a little. " _Li!_ "

"Don't you quit on me now," Zel snarled under her breath, working quickly to deliver the second baby. He came quickly enough, born much scrawnier than his brother; but where little Zeb had made hardly a sound, the second twin squalled for all he was worth, announcing his birth with ear-splitting shrieks.

"Quite the set of lungs on this one," Reith called out over the noise as Zelina cut him free. "Don't quite see where he's keeping them."

Zel nodded as she passed the yowling baby over, not paying much mind. _He_ would be fine, but Lirian was still bleeding much too heavily for her comfort. Between the two boys, one much larger than her body ought to be able to handle, something inside of her had torn.

"Jorrah, I need you to hold the scanner," she told him, barely giving him a moment to acknowledge her before pushing the device into the hand he freed up. She needed only a few moments of viewing the hand-scan's results before being able to see the problem.

The Lasat uterus was somewhat different from the human one, but it was similar enough that she could identify the issue. Likely it was Zeb's birth that had done it, but there was an ugly tear between the right fallopian tube and the uterus itself.

" _Haran_ ," she growled low in her throat. Surgical repair that delicate took more time and equipment than she had. This would have to be a patch job.

"What is it? Can you do anything?" Jorrah pressed her.

"There's tearing. I can't perform the surgery she needs. All I can really do is stop the bleeding."

"So _do it_."

"Keep the scanner up for me," she instructed him as she went for the laser driver in her kit. "Hold it up. I need to be able to see what I'm doing."

This wasn't like feeling for a birth cord. She needed to see _exactly_ what was happening. If she couldn't, she might unwittingly do more damage than good. The laser driver was typically only used to cauterize external injuries, but they were out of time and out of options. This _could_ be done. She would just have to be very careful.

Following the holographic map provided by the hand-scan, she guided the tool into her friend's body, pressing it up against the torn flesh. Once she was certain she had the right location, she used no more than a quick burst of power, the jolt of concentrated energy quickly cauterizing the bleeding tube.

"That's it," she whispered as she slid the tool back out with one last spurt of blood. "I really have done everything I can. It's up to her now."

 _Fear not, little mother. Fear not, mother of us all._

While Jorrah attempted to coax Lirian back to them, Tiri and Reith rejoined them, each carrying a twin, the youngest one all purple fur and fluff after his bath. He was a little calmer than he had been before, but not by much.

"Do you know the meaning of the name Garazeb in Lasana?" Zelina faintly heard Reith asking her, drawing her mind back from the dangerous edges it had been wandering.

"No," she said, thoughts still distant as she watched the former guardswoman soothe the baby.

"It means 'True Vow'. More than naming her son for our Zeb'aki, I think Lirian named him for your own vow. How I imagine it will be told to these boys in the future is that it was the strength of your word alone that brought them alive into the world."

Zel didn't speak, much too drained after everything that had happened, but she did offer the Lasat matriarch a grateful smile as she reached over to stroke little Zeb's cheek. The newborn gave a long yawn, cuddling up in Reith's arms.

"Hey...hey," Jorrah's relieved suddenly drew their attention back to Lirian, who was blinking awake in his arms.

"Li!" Zel started, though she tried to keep herself a little calm as she moved back over to them. "How are you feeling?"

"Like I shouldn't be awake yet," she groaned, hand reaching out for the young Mandalorian's. "My boys...my sons...where are they?"

Reith and Tiri immediately moved in on their cue, allowing the new mother first to see the second boy, still crying helplessly. Lirian gasped in enchantment as she reached out both hands for him. Tiri gave him over with a smile, stepping back as Lirian cradled the little one against her breast.

"He doesn't have trouble making himself heard, this one," Reith teased lightly. "He still needs a name."

Lirian thought it over a few moments as she rocked the tiny baby in her arms, comforting him. Still looking down at him, she continued with, "Well...it's not really a Lasat name, but...I think Ezra is a good name."

"No way," an uncannily timed voice sounded from the front of the tent. "You...you're gonna name your kid after me?"

They all looked up to see the _Ghost_ crew standing in the entryway, Wedge alongside them. All of them were wearing warm smiles, but Ezra himself looked like he might actually burst into tears, the light of early morning framing his smile as it spilled into the tent.

"You helped bring us out of darkness. And you've been a great friend and big brother ever since," Lirian said, smiling at the young Jedi as she nuzzled the baby's head.

"That and the little thing just won't shut up," Jorrah teased lightly, also smiling at his friend. "Seems like a fitting name to me."

"Don't be surprised if many of our children come to be named for all of you," Tiri told them.

"Did you hear what little Ezra's brother is to be called, _Aki'a_?" Reith asked Zeb, who shook his head.

"Garazeb," Lirian said, earning herself a similarly awed, enchanted look from the former guardsman.

"Garazeb and Ezra," Jorrah announced formally in place of the twins' father, who had died in the battle on Manaan. "Sons of Saflynam. May they be strong and wise."

The rest of the crew hung back, watching from a distance as Lirian gathered her sons to her to feed them their first meal. Wedge was the only one to actually enter the space, coming to Zelina's side and taking her hand.

"You see?" he whispered to her. "You didn't let her down. You're the best medic in the Outer Rim."

"Maybe I will be...one day," she returned, unable to help how she leaned into the support he offered. She was only just beginning to realize how exhausted she was. "Your mission went well, then?"

"Got what we needed, yeah. Except some Imperial rat bastard tried to hijack Chopper and get us all killed."

"What?" she half snapped at him, barely managing to keep her voice down. But when she turned to him, she weaved on her feet a little.

"It's a long story," he shushed her with a shake of his head. "And I'll tell it to you sometime. Right now I think we ought to get you to a cot. You look like you're about ready to collapse."

"You're not wrong," she said, the many hours of work and stress that had been the cap to several weeks of worry seeming to crash down on her all at once. "...think...I might- actually-"

She didn't finish the thought. Before she could get it out, before Wedge could lead her even another step from the tent, she was falling, collapsing into his shocked arms. By the time the two of them reached the ground, she was completely unconscious.

She would later hear from the others about how Wedge had carried her back up to the base, but she wouldn't hear from him until _years_ later how he had felt conflicted about it – how he had been worried over her health but, at the same time, had secretly enjoyed carrying her.

XxX

With the birth of Lirian's sons, Phoenix Cell had finally reached a point where the medics said it would be safe to move the little colony of refugees again. As such, the rebels and the refugees had decided it would be good to hold a small celebration. The Lasat in celebration of their freedom and as thanks to the friends they'd made, and the rebels as a way of saying goodbye and as one last way to unwind prior to the attack on Lothal. After all, who knew when they'd have the chance to celebrate again?

The sounds of games and cheering and laughter had been echoing up from the Lasat encampment all day and Zeb had, maybe not so subtly, been avoiding it all day. After all, this was going to be his last day with Arkalia, and it didn't feel much like something that should be celebrated.

He had been making the excuse on and off that he had to get Arkalia's things ready to travel. As excuses went, it was painfully thin, as the little kit didn't have much, some blankets and clothing, mostly it was the small army of toys the Spectres and others had either made or bought for her. Often as he tripped over them, he knew he was going to miss having them around _to_ trip on.

Ultimately, Hera had threatened that if he didn't bring Arkalia down and give the rest of them their last night with the baby girl, she was _really_ going to give him something to brood about, and if he was smart enough for nothing else, he was smart enough to know better than to cross Hera. So sunset found him making his way down to the camp, Arkalia clinging to his shoulder while she chewed contentedly on a toy nexu.

He sighed, trying and failing to stave off the sense of impending doom as he walked. "Didn't I tell you you'd break my heart, little girl?"

"MmMmMuh," she cooed pleasantly up at him, her mouth full of toy. His focus on her, he hardly noticed the goings-on around him until Hera suddenly flagged him down.

"There you are," she called out to him as she hurried over from the knot of teenaged Lasat she'd been talking to. "I know you'd rather not be here right now, but I think it's important you came down. Besides, I've got some good news for you before somebody gets a drink in your hands."

"There's drinks?" he asked with a raised eyebrow.

"If you want to call them that," Hera said with a dubious side eye. "I would personally question the methods Mart and Ji used to create said alcohol, but I suppose some people will do anything for a hard drink."

Zeb shrugged, wrangling Arkalia as she tried to climb onto his back. "Probably wouldn't have much effect on a Lasat anyway. So what's the news?"

"Dodonna's advance group finally got a proper foothold established in the Yavin system. Massassi Group's been taking a more constant movement approach for a while now, but I think Thrawn's attack gave them the sense of a need for a proper base. They're centralizing on Yavin IV. Command's decided we'll be taking up with them once the attack on Lothal's been carried out."

"New base? Wait. But that means-" Zeb started, excitement beginning to build in his chest.

"Yes. You can let Kallus know what the plan is. He'll be able to see about emptying the moon from the Imperial databases...and he can join us after the attack."

For a moment, Zeb's heart swelled with joy. One more task, one more fight, and Alex would be able to come home for good. He would finally have his _Tinsana_...

...just in time for them to lose their little one.

It was an odd mix, this joy and sorrow, gaining one only to lose the other. Still, he attempted to offer up a smile for Hera, as he understood that she'd meant to make him happy.

"I'd planned to meet up with him on the way out to Lira San...so he can say goodbye to the little squeak proper. I'll let him know what's up."

"Hey! Zeb!" Ezra's voice came up from behind him. "About time you showed up. Everybody's only been waiting all day for you. Some of the guys are getting a game of drift ball going. I wanna play against you. C'mon!"

"Do you even know _how_ to play drift ball?" he asked the young Jedi.

Ezra shrugged as he started to pull the Lasat along. "Eh, it's a ball game. What's to know? I'll pick it up as we go. Reith and Kar said you used to be the best. I don't buy it. Prove me wrong."

"Oh, you're askin' for trouble, you are."

"Hey, wait a sec," Hera said, plucking Arkalia from his shoulder before they could get too far. "Okay. Now you can go."

"But-"

"I _realize_ she can grip very well, but I'm not going to have you running around playing a physically intensive and potentially dangerous game with a _child_ attached to your person. She'll be waiting for you when you finish up," the Twi'lek chastised him.

"Come on, man, you can tell her all about how we trounced your team when we get back," Ezra teased, dancing easily away when Zeb reached to take a swipe at him.

"All right, kid, I'm gonna teach you a lesson you'll _never_ forget. There's no Jedi powers in drift ball."

And so he proved to the Padawan over the next hour or so of gameplay. The evening became a bit of a whirlwind after someone did press a drink into his hands. He had a taste of something that he supposed was meant to be roast berra stew, but there was really only so much one could do with rations and scant other supplies. Still, despite what he knew the food must be composed of, maybe it was the festive, wild atmosphere that gave it a kind of good taste of its own?

At some point, he was roped into an armwrestling match with Terachor, the Syren woman actually much stronger than he'd given her credit for. He saw Jidu and Hobbie pulling Rex, Ezra, and a few of the young Lasat into some kind of drinking game, which Hera made a half-hearted effort to pull the young Jedi away from (something about Lothal's drinking age), but there was just no defeating the party atmosphere. Saplar and Tsirhara got some sort of blind tag game going with Wedge, Zelina, and several of the other pilots and Lasat. Kanan jokingly tried to join in on that one, but that brought up the question of whether he was even _capable_ of not using the Force anymore. Zeb even saw Sato in on the festivities, sitting in the middle of a knot of Lasat children and regaling them with the tale of some space battle or other, and at his side, her hand resting companionably on his shoulder, stood Orianne Rihima, an odd smile on her normally tight features.

Instruments came out at some point, old, battered ones rebel soldiers had acquired and small, simple ones the refugees had managed to make since their escape, and the games and storytelling devolved into dancing. Ezra wound up dancing with a group of children hanging from him, Kestry settled proudly atop his head. He saw Rex sharing a dance with Zelina, the expression on his face only describable as that of a proud father. Even Chopper joined in on the revelry in his own little demon bot way of dancing, spinning and trundling about on his treads with Kali settled on his dome, laughing and clapping. She was getting a touch big for the spot, but Chopper didn't complain a bit.

When even this began to wind down, the wild music settled into slower, softer tunes, couples taking the place of the large groups of revelers on the makeshift dance floor that had grown up around the bonfire at the center of the camp. Ji and Hara took to the floor together, the pair of them pressed firmly against each other as they danced. Their movements looked to be an easy waltz, but Zeb could see just how tightly the Syren's feathered arms were wound around the much smaller human's slender frame.

Wedge politely cut in on Rex's dance with Zelina, which he conceded to with a knowing grin. The two young rebels were the very image of awkward as they danced together, the glow of firelight barely concealing the fierceness of their blushing, but even so, they smiled – smiled for no one but themselves.

Even Sato and Rihima stood to dance together. Zeb wasn't really sure when they'd become so comfortable with each other, but their movements were easy and unhurried, the ease of a couple who'd been together for a long time.

Ezra remained in the loose circle of dancing couples, picking Arkalia up from Chopper's dome and moving in vague circles with her in his arms – a last dance with his little sister as she nodded off to sleep.

"Y'know," Kanan's voice was suddenly in his ear, tinged only mildly with alcohol, "there's no law saying you _have_ to give her up."

There it was, finally spoken and out in the universe. He supposed somebody had to say it at some point, address the bantha in the room. But rather than acknowledge it himself, Zeb turned Kanan's attention to Sato and Rihima.

"Hey, not fer nothin', but...when did _those two_ become a thing? I know- Ji and Hara got to be a thing- pretty quick. Couldn't _not_ know that. And _that's_ turnin' into a thing," he slurred a little as he nodded vaguely toward Wedge and Zelina. "But...the two hardest hard asses on base? Did I miss somethin'?"

Kanan shrugged. "Hera informs me it's been years. But since they started being _open_ about it? Couple weeks maybe? Glad to see the drink's doing something for you, buddy."

Zeb shrugged in kind. "Little somethin'. I'll take what I can get. If it affects _me_ , though, I don't think I _wanna_ know what it does to humans. You had much?"

The Knight shook his head. "You know me. I have some pretty strict rules when it comes to me and alcohol. Hera and I split one. That was enough. If you want a case study, go talk to Saplar and Tera. They had to wrestle Hobbie's drunk hide back up to the base. Me'n Hera, though? Think this might be the last time for a while _either_ of us has anything to drink."

"Yeah? Why's'at?"

"We've been- trying to get pregnant...if you want the truth," Kanan answered after a few moments of silence between them.

"Seriously?" Zeb asked, looking at him head on. "Can you do? The two a' you?"

"The literature Hera's found says yes. Not a lot of couples have managed to do it naturally, though. Right now we're kinda just- throwing laser darts at a wall and seeing if anything sticks."

Zeb chuckled quietly. "Well, I'd be lyin' if I said I hadn't noticed _that_ bit," he said. It was difficult to ignore it when you stumbled upon your captain and best mate getting their respective freak on a few more times a week than you were used to. What he'd _been_ used to was accidentally coming upon the pair once every few months or so. Now the sheer amount of procreating had started to seem obscene even to him. They'd become almost disturbingly skilled at shagging fully clothed. How they managed to keep it from Ezra's notice, he had no idea.

"Eh-heh, yeah. Sorry about yesterday, buddy. But- my _point_ is that...what do you think Hera and I are gonna do when we finally _do_ have a kid? Ship it off to grow up somewhere safe?"

"Well...that'd be the _responsible_ thing to do, yeah?" Zeb said begrudgingly. "Didn't seem like this was in Hera's plans, bein' in the middle of a war and all."

"It wasn't. But, well...then Ari came along. And yeah, Hera'd always wanted to do better for kids than she had growing up, but then she realized the fighting may not ever actually be done. And if that _does_ wind up being the case, what if we never try to have what we want...and we lose the chance entirely? Even if it's dangerous...even if it's hard...we have to go on trying to live. I ran from that for a long time after- what happened to the Order," the Knight admitted, drawing Zeb into looking at him properly and seeing the tension in his body. It wasn't often that Kanan talked about the time Before – before he'd even _been_ Kanan Jarrus. What he was saying to Zeb right now was in complete earnest. "And I know you have, too...since Lasan. So I want to ask you now, before the chance is gone...why are you afraid to let yourself have this?"

Zeb's typical response to such a deep probe would've been to growl and walk away. But tonight was different. The chance really was about to be gone forever.

"Every time I look at her," he started, gaze drifting to Ezra, still dancing with the sleepy kit, "somethin' in me remembers Kaya...remembers how I failed her. I don't wanna fail Arkalia. I want her to have her best chance...and that's not with me."

"Literally no one in the galaxy would agree with that statement. No one who matters, anyway...but I guess there's not much I can say if you're decided."

"'s'what love is...isn't it?" he asked aloud, voice breaking on the words as something in his chest clenched painfully. "Lovin' someone enough to let 'em go? Makin' sure _they're_ happy...even if you're not?"

"Something like that. Yeah," Kanan agreed in a solemn voice. "Guess you just have to be certain what it is you're doing is actually going to _make_ the other person happy."

"There you are," Hera's gentle voice suddenly came up behind them. As she moved into Zeb's peripheral vision, he saw her wrap her arms around the Jedi's shoulders. "Got some of the rowdier drunks to bed. Hope you saved at least one dance for me."

"Always," he said, turning his head to the side and pressing a kiss to her cheek. Then she pulled him up and led him out among the other couples, their arms twining easily around each other as they melted into the same sort of simple, swaying circle of a dance.

After a time, calls began to go up for Lirian to sing. Still weak from giving birth, she had been sitting at the outskirts of the dancing all evening with her two sons. Jorrah had been with her all that time, making sure she was doing all right and that she had enough to eat. He started to bat the requests down on her behalf, but she stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

"It's all right. I feel fine. I want to."

Some of the couples began to drift from the dance space at this. Not leaving, simply gathering around the fire to listen to the young mother sing. Zeb hadn't heard it yet, but he heard a lot of people, both rebel and refugee, say that Lirian Saflynam had one of the most beautiful voices they'd ever heard.

" _Sorr Vyrana_?" Lirian called out to the Lasat musicians. Two of them nodded, starting up a tune for her on pipe and string.

Quite suddenly, a sleeping Arkalia was being settled in his arms and Ezra was sitting down beside him to listen in.

"Heard her yet? She's really good."

"No. I do know the song, though."

Then, with little Ezra in her own arms and little Zeb in Jorrah's, Lirian began to sing. The lyrics were in Basic and Zeb would've been curious to know when she'd managed a translation but, either way, the meaning remained.

 _Once upon a time and long ago_

 _I heard someone singing soft and low_

 _Now, when day is done and night is near_

 _I recall this song I used to hear_

They hadn't been kidding. She really was good. Zeb found himself smiling as he watched Lirian sing, almost more to her sons than to any of them. He cradled Arkalia close against his chest while he listened.

 _My child, my very own_

 _Don't be afraid, you're not alone_

 _Sleep until the dawn, for all is well_

More than one person was taking her advice to heart. Zelina was listening intently to her friend but, at her side, Wedge's head was resting against her shoulder as he nodded off. Even more, however, seemed to be taking this winding down as a cue of a different sort. Kanan was whispering something to Hera as he peppered the side of her face with kisses. Sato had his fingers tangled in Rihima's hair, which had somehow come down from her usual braid. Zeb had to quickly avert his gaze when he noticed that Jidu had a hand up Tsirhara's shirt. And above it all was the gentle but passionate thrum of Lirian's voice.

 _Long ago this song was sung to me_

 _Now it's just a distant melody_

 _Somewhere from the past I used to know_

 _Once upon a time and long ago_

A spell seemed to have been cast over the gathering by the time the young woman came to the end of her song.

"Definitely weren't kiddin'," Zeb said softly to Ezra, nuzzling the top of Arkalia's head. He grinned when he saw Lirian smiling at Zelina and Wedge. He also couldn't help noticing Ji and Hara slipping away.

"Right?" Ezra yawned. "I know you've- gotta get an early start in the morning. Hitting the sack soon?"

"Soon-ish," he only half-lied. He would certainly _try_ to sleep. Whether he could _stay_ asleep was another matter. "I'm gonna put her to bed first."

"All right. I got the last dance, so I'll let you have that one. Just...don't take off in the morning before I get the chance to say goodbye, yeah?" the young Jedi said, looking up at him with eyes that may or may not have been a little watery.

"No worries, kid," he reassured him with a nod before getting to his feet, distantly noting Sato and Rihima also slipping away from the gathering as others began to trickle off to bed. He could also see Kanan and Hera leaning pretty heavily in that direction.

Well, better get going before he wound up getting in their way. Maybe he could beat them back to the ship?

"See you in a bit," he said before taking off.

"Maybe not. If you're asleep already when I get up there," Ezra suggested hopefully after him, but Zeb pretended not to hear. He only had so many lies in him, after all.

He didn't see much on the way back up to the _Ghost_ , his attention focused as it was on the kit in his arms. This was really it. It was the last time he would carry her to bed like this...the last time he would spend a night listening to her breathing and knowing she was nearby. She would be safe where she was going and that was a tiny thread of happiness in his heart, but she would no longer be a part of his life. He wanted her to have a proper life of her own with a proper family. A war zone was no place for that, no matter how much he loved her.

She was whimpering a little in her sleep by the time he carried her into his and Ezra's bunk, so he took a few minutes to just walk the space, humming soothingly as he rocked her.

He didn't bother with her little night onesie this time, worried he might wake her if he tried to change her. Not that he would've _minded_ passing the night with her awake, but it wasn't good for her, so he made certain she was sleeping before climbing into bed.

He didn't tuck her into her cradle this time either. When he lay down on his bunk, it was with the kit's tiny body cradled against his chest, purring as she slept.

He didn't even consider sleep himself. He just lay there in the dark, memorizing the feel of her, the sound of her, the scent of her, every little bit he could impress upon his mind – whatever it took to keep some part of her with him.

After a time, he began to sing the old lullaby, not necessarily for her, but for himself. Sometimes in Lasana and sometimes in Basic, but the meaning remained the same throughout.

 _Under the snow_

 _Beneath the frozen streams_

 _There is life_

 _You have to know_

 _When nature sleeps, she dreams_

 _There is life_

 _And the colder the winter, the warmer the spring_

 _The deeper the sorrow, the more our hearts sing_

 _Even when you can't see it, inside everything_

 _There is life_

He didn't stop singing when Ezra entered the bunk either. He was quieter, but he kept up the old song, and after a time, he could've even sworn he also heard Ezra singing as he got ready for bed, changing clothes and climbing to the top bunk.

 _After the rain_

 _The sun will reappear_

 _There is life_

 _After the pain_

 _The joy will still be here_

 _There is life_

It didn't feel like it now, but he supposed he had to believe it. If he didn't, he might just curl up here and die. And...maybe he _did_ feel a small twinge of comfort, with the sound of Ezra's thin, reedy voice joining with his own.

 _For it's out of the darkness that we learn to see_

 _And out of the silence that songs come to be_

 _And all that we dream of awaits patiently_

 _There is life_

 _There is life_

Maybe they both cried a little, there in the dark. Neither said anything.

 _Goodbye, ni kyra...Kali...my girl...my little squeak. Goodbye..._

XxX

 _Zeb...on his knees, wrists bound...fur matted and bloody...glaring up at some unseen enemy..._

 _"Now what'll we do next for fun?" an unfamiliar voice questions in a mocking tone. "What with his precious captain...his strong Lasat warrior?"_

 _The sound of a vibro-shiv activating, resonating with the deadly thrum of the Lasat's growl. Then a panicked, terrified cry._

 _"_ _ **ZEB!**_ _"_

 _Kallus?_

 _The ex-Imperial standing before a communications console, hands unbound, but flanked by two death troopers. He doesn't respond physically, but she can see the reaction beneath the surface...the way his soul trembles, buckling beneath an unimaginable weight..._

 _"Why? Why_ _ **this?**_ _" he asks, something in his expression breaking. "You have what you want, you can take it anytime. Why like this?"_

 _"No. I will force nothing upon you, Alexsandr Kallus," another unfamiliar voice states, this one colder, far more dangerous than the first. "You are going to_ _ **choose**_ _this. And that is the point. Your choices thus far have led you here. So make another_ _ **choice**_ _, and_ _ **learn**_ _how a traitor is rewarded."_

 _Rex, his features splintered by grief, but also firming with resolve..._

 _"They took your service...your dignity. They turned you into a weapon and turned you against everything you believed you stood for. They took everything from you...everything they_ _ **could**_ _take...everything except your life...and you thought that was all there was, didn't you."_

 _Vader lifting Rex into the air with the Force, cutting off his air..._

 _"This is pointless. If you are too weak to survive without her, CT-7567, then-" With a single twist of his hand he brings Rex flying forward, impaling him on the ignited blade of his lightsaber._

 _"-you may join her."_

Ahsoka woke from the nightmare with a tiny cry, fingers scrabbling desperately at her chest, as if she'd actually been stabbed in the place where Vader's red blade had gone through Rex. Struggling for breath as she forced herself to lower her hands, she fought to get herself under control.

No.

It was no nightmare.

A vision. Many visions.

It seemed that, despite her efforts, Rex's fate was still fixed. More immediately, fate looked to be bearing down on Zeb and Kallus, and somehow, in some way she couldn't see, those separate fates were beginning to intertwine.

Drawn from the aftermath of her dreaming by a sudden distressed wail from Mira, the former Jedi rose quickly from her bed, moving to the little cradle where her daughter slept. Picking up the tiny half-Togruta, she drew her against her breast with a few soothing murmurs, rocking her in order to calm her down. There was nothing she could see that was immediately wrong. Mira wasn't hungry and she didn't need to be changed. Really, there was only the thought she'd been unable to avoid more and more of late.

Mira was Force-sensitive. The baby reacted to her distress in ways other children she'd known never had. In truth, part of her had hoped her child _wouldn't_ inherit her gifts, for gifts they were _not_ in this terror-wrought galaxy. Force-sensitivity was a death mark. Mirjahaal Tano would be hunted all her life, not only for her crimes of birth, being the child of a former Jedi and a renegade clone, but for daring to inherit the power that could make her an enemy of the state.

A Jedi.

Well, no child of hers would ever be a Jedi. Not a Jedi as she had come to know them near the end, at least. If there were to be Jedi in this new reality, they could not be as they had been. But, with any luck, those were questions and debates that were far in the future. Right now, she and Mira had somewhere to be.

Once her daughter was sufficiently calmed, she laid her down on her bed while dressing and gathering up their meager possessions. She and Mira neither had nor needed much, but she didn't know when or even if they would be back, and she didn't want what they _did_ have to be a burden on the space while they were gone.

Maz would probably need it for something or other. The pirate queen was a great collector of drifters. Both people and things. Who could say who would inhabit the space after her?

The time for her and Ezra's paths to intersect in this timeline was not far off now. Anywhere from a handful of months to half a year at most, and she knew she needed to be ready to step in when the time came. Likely, it would be better to hold herself close to the fledgling Alliance in the coming months anyway. Even though she wasn't perfectly certain _where_ it was the Force was directing her at this exact moment, she was prepared to follow the pull of the visions. She didn't know _how_ she might change the fates of Garazeb Orrelios and Alexsandr Kallus, but there was clearly some way she could. Some way she could change Rex's fate...

Once she was ready, she bundled Mira in her sling against her chest, carrying everything else of theirs on her back as she headed down into the castle proper. It was that nebulous point of rotation that was caught somewhere between very late at night and very early in the morning. As such, there were very few patrons in the central cantina. Maz was nowhere to be seen, but at least one of her bartenders did recognize Ahsoka as she headed out.

"Eh, there, Ashla!" Kurrin called out. The large Bothan smiled as he squeezed out from behind the bar. "Headin' out?"

"I am," she told him. "The way might be long."

Kurrin nodded his understanding, reaching out to pat Mira's head between the buds of her montrals. "You might just be takin' the sunshine from this place, then. I'll miss hearin' this little one's laughter."

"And I know she'll miss tugging on your beard."

"Little scamp," he said with a fond smile. "Don't be a stranger. I expect to see her again once she's walkin'."

"We'll see where the stars take us."

"Hail and farewell, my little misses," he said, enfolding them both in a strong hug.

"Goodbye, Kurrin. Thank you for everything."

"No thanks needed, but you're welcome. Be well," he said before returning to his work.

"You as well," she said on her way out.

It wasn't a long trek out to where her ship was docked. As such, she was less than surprised when the pirate queen herself emerged from the shadows of the small craft as she lowered the boarding ramp.

"Getting an early start are we, Ahsoka?" Maz asked her.

"Early as I can. I don't know where I'm going, but...there's someone who needs me," she tried to explain.

"I thought as much. The galaxy turns upon the littlest things, after all," she said, looking expectantly up at the one time Jedi. "Well? Do I have to do all the work or are you going to let me kiss my godchild goodbye?"

Ahsoka laughed as she knelt beside the diminutive pirate queen, allowing her to lean in and press a sloppy, grandmotherly kiss to Mira's tiny cheek. The baby trilled happily for her, reaching out a hand to grab at her goggles. Maz laughed in kind.

"Someday, little one. Someday you will be able to hold them in your hands. Then you and I will talk," she said, pulling out a blanket from who knew where and wrapping it carefully around Mira's sling. The blanket had been knit with deep blue and red yarn and Ahsoka knew that Maz must've spent many hours making it herself. "There. To keep your family warm in their travels. Remember, little _marg sabl_ , your parents have always been soldiers. It is good to remind them of where that name came from...of what _your name_ means," she said, dropping one last kiss on Mira's small head. Then she moved to press her forehead up against Ahsoka's.

"And you, my dear, you comfort me much in knowing you will not make your master's mistakes, but there are other mistakes yet to be made. You have discovered much on your path already, but one who is only partway through the passage may not know how much remains, what distance yet exists to rise or to fall. When a choice lies before you, I only ask that you not forget what it is that matters to you."

The smile Ahsoka offered Maz as she pulled back from her was sad. "I could promise you I won't, but even I'm not so foolish as to think I could _know_ what choices are still in front of me. The only promise I can make is that I'll do what I have to."

Maz sighed as Ahsoka rose back to her full height. "I know, child. That's what concerns me. But know that if you or yours ever have need, you will always have a place of sanctuary."

"I know. Thank you."

"Well," Maz began, pulling herself out of whatever reverie she'd fallen into and patting the former Jedi's hand, "it's early yet. The way is long. Fare well, Ahsoka Tano. The Force is with you."

"And also with you," she returned before climbing aboard her ship. She didn't know if she would ever see Maz Kanata again, but there was always hope.

There had to be hope.

XxX

(A/N) Well, I suppose you could call this chapter one final stay of execution before I launch into the third act and things get truly crazy. This time around, the only notes I have for you are these.

Lirian's song, 'Distant Melody' is from the stage musical version of Peter Pan. Lovely little piece of music if you've never heard it. And the birth chant I used at the beginning of the chapter is from the book 'The Red Tent', by Anita Diamant. It's altered a little from the original to suit the purposes of the new setting, but I've always felt it was a very moving piece of poetry relating to birth, so I wanted to use it. And with that, my dears, I will see you all next time. Presumably not nearly so long.


	17. Can Beauty Come Out of Ashes?

(A/N) Hello again, my darling dears. Fresh out of the authorial oven, a piping hot chapter for you! (in more ways than one, as you'll soon find out. Heheh. Honestly, I think this is the slowest I've ever burned for a main couple in a fic.) There's love and terror both to be had in these pages, so I hope you enjoy it all. :D

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 17: Can Beauty Come Out of Ashes?_

Zeb wasn't the only one who didn't sleep easy that night. He couldn't exactly help noticing when Ezra woke several hours later.

"Zeb?" the young Jedi called down softly to him, likely clued in to the fact he wasn't asleep by the lack snoring. "Do you hear that?"

"Don't hear anythin', kid," he returned just as quietly, being careful not to wake Arkalia. Ezra was just as careful when he climbed down from his bunk. "What is it?"

"I don't know. Sounds...like..."

Ezra didn't finish. He just wandered out into the corridor. Not sure what scent the young Jedi might be after, Zeb gathered Arkalia up in his arms and followed, just in case there was actual danger.

The boy headed into Kanan's room, which was unsurprisingly open and empty. Likely he was still out with Hera, or they were in their quarters. Zeb didn't get a chance to follow him inside, as the next moment Kanan actually _did_ emerge from Hera's room, shrugging his shirt on with an air of worry. When he moved to the doorway, Zeb heard Ezra say, "Maul's back."

"Aw, _hells_ ," Zeb groaned under his breath, still careful of the kit in his arms.

"What did you see?" Kanan asked him.

"I didn't see. I heard. I think Maul might be closing in on Master Kenobi."

The rest was Jedi business, he was sure. Once Hera emerged dressed from her room not five minutes later, the three of them went to see Sato and Rex, the only one of them who had last seen Obi-Wan Kenobi alive.

Zeb didn't even pretend to sleep after they'd gone. Figuring he'd get an early start, he decided to get breakfast ready. Not that there was much to it. With the extra mouths to feed, their stores had been particularly thin recently. Most of the fresh fruit and vegetables the Spectres had been allotted had been going to Arkalia, as they'd begun to ween her from milk to mashed solids. There wasn't a whole lot to be done with rations and protein packs, but damn if he wasn't going to try.

He let Arkalia continue to sleep in her little carrier while he worked, wanting to keep her as close as possible for as long as he could. He was alerted to the fact she'd woken up by a tiny screech. He looked over to see her smiling up at him, her little feet scrabbling insistently at the floor.

"I know. I know. You wanna get out and climb on everything. Not just yet, little squeak. You're gonna eat breakfast first, just like the rest of us. But _un_ like the rest of us, you might actually enjoy yours," he told her as he started preparing her food – mashed miru fruit and strained karik root.

"Really hope that's the caf I'm smelling," Hera said when she entered the galley several minutes later.

"Yup. Might not be much else to smell _apart_ from that, but it is that."

"Well, who needs to smell anything else this early in the morning?" the captain said as she poured herself a cup, only half-joking.

"What happened with Ezra?"

Hera sighed as she moved to sit at the table, inhaling the scent of the caf a moment before answering.

"He wanted to fly off to Tatooine to check things out. But it's really just not an excursion we can spare time for right now, let alone the risk if Maul is actually planning something. He's tried to ensnare Ezra before, after all," she said, her expression one of worry as she stared down into her cup.

"Well...give him the time He'll make the right choice," Zeb said as he carried his attempts at food over to the table, quickly going back for Arkalia's food. But Hera still managed to catch his eye when he turned back to her and the kit. When their eyes met, she smiled at him in an odd, almost amazed way.

"Garazeb Orrelios...when did you become a parent?" she asked him.

Zeb didn't know how to answer that. After all, he wasn't...was he? That was why they were here at all. Thankfully, though, he was spared having to answer when Kanan, Ezra, and Rex all piled into the galley.

"Wow, Zeb, that smells less totally inedible than usual," Kanan complimented, and really, under the circumstances, it _was_ a compliment.

"Thank you. I was tryin'," he snipped back with a little smirk. Rather than sampling his own efforts, he focused instead on feeding Kali, whose breakfast was only winding up in her mouth about half the time.

"Hey! Anybody in?" Wedge's voice sounded from somewhere below.

"Up in the galley!" Rex called down to him, but when he actually poked his head into the less-than-large space, he was not alone. Hobbie, Jidu, and Zelina were all packed into the corridor behind him.

"Maybe need some fresh meiloorun to add to breakfast?" the young pilot asked as Ji held up a small sack.

"Came in on this morning's run," Hobbie explained.

"Meiloorun will get you everywhere in life," Hera said sagely, nodding at them all to enter. "Plan on staying long?"

"We need to be down helping the Lasat break camp in a little bit. Mostly we just wanted to say goodbye to fuzzy here," Ji explained, depositing her offering on the counter before coming up beside Zeb. "Gonna get real boring around here without our mascot."

"As boring as rebellion could possibly be, anyway," Hera pointed out, half-scolding and half-teasing, as she went to crack open one of the meilooruns. "Though she might not be going anywhere if she doesn't eat her karik."

"And who could blame her?" Ji fired back, reaching forward to wipe some of the mess from the baby's chin. "Only heathens eat their vegetables."

"Cheers," Kanan saluted, raising his cup of caf to the statement.

Hera gave a fond roll of her eyes at the Jedi's words before announcing to the assembled party, "Ladies and gentlemen, the galaxy's last true Jedi. I now know a certain knight who's not getting any dessert after his breakfast."

"Aw, c'mon, Hera. That's just cruel and unusual punishment."

The morning proceeded in much the same way for about an hour or so, with other rebels drifting in and out of the _Ghost's_ galley, exchanging offerings of food and chore swapping in exchange for a last few minutes with the tiny ball of fluff and mischief who had somehow become Phoenix Cell's little princess. Even Jun Sato made an appearance somewhere in the middle of it all, offering up a sad smile and an awkward pat for the baby girl's head. After a time, it got to a point where the Spectres felt they'd actually _had_ a proper breakfast.

All too soon, though, it came time for Hera, Kanan, Ezra, and Rex to unload any gear from the _Ghost_ they would need over the next few days while Zeb was making the run to Lira San. In the interest of protecting the Lasat sanctuary, they didn't dare transfer the necessary coordinates into _any_ other nav system. Not even the _Phantom II_. As such, it meant Zeb had to take the ship himself. It was a sorry group that made its way down the freighter's gangway at mid-morning.

"We're going to miss you terribly, Lia," Hera told the baby, dropping a kiss on her head as she headed by. Kanan followed up with a ruffle of her fur and hair, braided one last time by Ezra.

"We'll have to make a point of visiting before you forget about us."

"I haven't seen Chopper since _very_ early this morning, but I'm pretty sure he left a few music files in the _Ghost's_ memory banks," Hera told Zeb. "Arkalia's favorite songs."

"That one's not quite as much of a hellspawn as he lets on," Rex put in with a sad grin, dropping a kiss of his own on the kit's head as he came up to them. "You be good for your new mama and papa. You hear me, Miss Kali? Don't want 'em thinking we did a bad job with you. We all love you," he finished, the expression on his face slipping to a degree of _raw_ they were all painfully unused to seeing from him as he turned and headed down the ramp, away from the goodbyes and away from the little Lasat.

Hera and Kanan headed down themselves not long after, leaving Ezra on his own to say his goodbyes. He had been distracted all throughout breakfast and Zeb could understand _why_ , but he also knew the young Jedi had wanted very much to be able to say goodbye to Arkalia himself. In many ways, they had all become inured to loss, but for the kid, well...this must've been like losing a piece of his family all over again. So he didn't resist when Ezra took Arkalia in his arms.

"Hey, Ari. I don't know if it's even _enough_ to say I'm gonna miss you. I know you and me had a rough start, and things are never exactly easy here...but I've loved every minute I've spent with you. And I know you probably won't remember any of this, but...I hope you know that- no matter where you go in the galaxy...you'll _always_ have a big brother," he told her, his eyes bright with unshed tears as he nuzzled his forehead against hers one last time.

"Aza," she cooed sweetly for him, reaching her little hands up to touch his cheeks. He gave a tiny, stilted laugh at the gesture, several tears slipping free of his eyes as he looked down at her. Then he kissed the top of her head, offering her another saddened smile. "Aza?"

"You'll be all right," he said, finally passing her back to Zeb. Then he said in passable Lasana. " _L'ashkerrir an, saman'aki._ May the Force be with you."

Then he was hurrying down the ramp, scrubbing futilely at his face all the while. Zeb couldn't do much other than sigh and head back aboard the _Ghost_ to prep her for takeoff. His people would be departing in a few hours, but he was leaving now.

There was still one more rendezvous he had to make before leading the way to Lira San.

XxX

Kallus breathed a sigh of relief when he emerged from hyper space to the sight of the _Ghost_ idling in an empty void. It had been easy enough to slip away from Lothal under some harried excuse about a lead. What he'd really been worried about was something happening to either him or Zeb before they could meet up again. Hardly waiting the requisite amount of time for spacial normalization, he hailed the freighter as quick as he could.

" _Syv san Alexsandr Kallus savtad Okorre Garazeb Orrelios. San sav an...ni ashkerra?_ "

" _Na s'in, alitha,_ " the familiar sound of Zeb's voice came over the comm, soothing in the rolling, assured tones of his native language in a way it just never quite managed in Basic. " _S'in z'ashyn omeshat sananan jital._ "

" _Ni ashkerra...ni ashkerra,_ " he whispered over and over again as he slumped in the pilot's seat, his breathing shaky. " _La boga La sylf orror hasher afanalan jital._ "

" _S'in lira zera. S'lis lira zera. Tef inkir. Tef inkir, Ashvahn ni malmanahn._ "

" _L- La_...pre- preparing to dock," he said, switching back to Basic in the hope of remastering himself. He really was at the limit of his cable if all it took was hearing Zeb's voice so close at hand to send him half-collapsing in relief.

It took only a few minutes of precision flying and locking to get the two ships docked together. Kallus wasn't entirely certain how he managed to put one foot in front of the other in order to reach his shuttle's airlock. Then the seal was hissing as the doors slid open...and there was Zeb. Standing just a few meters from him with a smile on his face as his arms opened wide to receive him.

The former Imperial didn't know if he succeeded in making his collapse into the Lasat's arms seem _less_ outwardly pathetic than it felt to him, but he was truly far from caring just then. He really had been resigned to never seeing his lover again in life. This...even though he knew _why_ they were here...it sapped every last bit of strength from his body, leaving him unable to do anything but cling to the larger male as they kissed.

" _Ashkerra_...oh, my love," he whispered against Zeb's lips as they embraced. "I have- missed you so...my Zeb."

If he didn't know better, he would almost say he felt tears on Zeb's cheeks in the heat of the embrace. A lovely shiver ran through his body when he felt Zeb run his large fingers through his hair.

" _Ni Tinsana,_ " Zeb purred tenderly against him, plainly noting how unsteady he'd suddenly become. "I missed you, too, but maybe we oughta get you sittin' down before anything else happens. Bit closer to your space right now. This Imperial bucket got any crew quarters?"

"But...Lia..." he tried to argue.

"Don't worry. She's nappin'. Be a bit before she wakes up. We have time."

"Well...who am I to say no to more time?" he said, waving a hand vaguely back in the direction of the crew quarters. He wasn't certain how Zeb managed with such bare instruction, but he did. Almost before Kallus was aware of it, the Lasat was helping him sit down on one of the small bunks.

"Been runnin' yourself a little ragged there?" Zeb asked him as he leaned against the doorframe, his smirk flavored by just a touch of worry.

"Only a little," he attempted to joke back.

"Guess you gotta do as much damage as you can before you take your leave of those bastards."

"Whensoever that may be," he said with a little more longing than he'd intended to let slip through. He was doing good work, he knew (had surreptitiously helped about half the latest crop of cadets for Lothal's Imperial Academy get out before they'd gotten in too deep, not to mention all the clerical discord he'd been sowing), but that didn't mean it couldn't be disheartening at times.

"Sooner than you might think, actually," his lover told him in a voice bubbling over with excitement. And when it finally registered in his head what it was he'd heard, his gaze darted up to Zeb's face, mouth falling slightly open at his exuberant expression.

"You...you mean-"

"That's _exactly_ what I mean. We got ourselves a new location. Alliance High Command is gonna be settin' up shop on Yavin IV once we've made the run on Lothal. And you're gonna be right there with us," he announced, and despite his apparent joy, there was still a trace of nerves in his countenance. "That is, y'know, assuming you don't do somethin' foolish first."

Kallus managed a small chuckle as he looked up at him, still barely comprehending. "No, I- I think I've quite used up all of my 'foolish' cards with any reasonable expectation of survival."

"You could...come with us now...if you wanted," Zeb tried to suggest in a casual tone. And oh, how it broke Kallus' heart to hear how he tried to keep the hope from his voice. Smiling sadly, he reached across the space between them to take Zeb's hand.

"You can't know how badly I want to. I'd love to just fly off with you right now. But there is still one task left undone. And you know I _must_ do."

Zeb sighed, running a thumb along the back of Kallus' gloved hand. "Right. Erase the moon from their databanks. Make us invisible. It'd do us a _galaxy_ of good; I _know_ that, but...I still wish you didn't actually have to go back and do it yourself."

"I know, but we all make sacrifices," he said, reaching out with his other hand to take Zeb's hand in both of his, drawing him back across the small space. Pulling that hand up to his face, he pressed his cheek against the large, powerful palm, just feeling the strength and the gentleness of it against him. Closing his eyes, he allowed himself to revel in the sensation. "It's the best thing I can do for the Alliance."

"What about _you?_ "

For a moment, Kallus just held still, feeling something in his heart twist and reform at the utter devotion and care in the larger male's voice. Slowly blinking his eyes open, he looked up to see his lover's own luminous green ones gazing down on him, expression a mix of admiration, adoration, and naked worry.

"What?"

For some reason, all he found himself able to do was whisper the single word question. When faced with the raw reality of everything contained in Garazeb Orrelios' gaze, he was suddenly overcome. He had stood his ground before nightmares that would've destroyed lesser men, had cracked himself open and taken a hard look at what he'd found inside, and yet only now, pinned beneath the weight of everything Zeb was offering him with his eyes alone, did he feel truly helpless – helpless and undone.

"What's the best thing you could do for _you_ right now?"

Unmade.

That was the word he'd needed before. In only a moment, this crazy, beautiful, reckless, noble Lasat warrior had unmade him, with nothing more than his eyes and a question.

And maybe...just maybe...something worthwhile might be made from that ruin.

Shifting slowly to his knees on that little bed, Kallus drew himself a little closer to Zeb's height before drawing him down into another kiss.

They fell into it easily enough, tangling in kisses and caresses. Kallus wasn't wearing any of his armor this time, so it was easy for Zeb to begin pushing aside his uniform jacket. He groaned pleasantly when his lover nipped at his collarbone.

"Careful," he warned between kisses along the Lasat's jaw. "Need to keep those below the neckline."

"Not much longer," Zeb teased back, clawed fingers tracing delicately along the clothed lines of Kallus' arms. Then he was moving further down, slipping the gloves from his hands.

Kallus quickly reached up to bury his fingers in the velvet-fine fur of Zeb's shoulders, banishing the feel of the gloves from his skin as they kissed. It wasn't long before Zeb was drawing one of those hands to his lips, pressing hungry kisses to his palm.

Kallus let out a long sigh, loving the tenderness of those kisses. His lover was so powerful, so strong, but also capable of such loving gentleness. Wanting to feel more of that carefully contained strength, he slowly removed the armor from Zeb's hands and forearms.

For a moment, only a moment, he felt Zeb freeze against him, and in that moment, he was terrified he'd somehow misread the situation. But the fear was over almost as soon as it had begun, because Zeb didn't pull away from him. If it was possible, he came in closer, pushing Kallus' jacket even further open, until he was stopped by his belt. The former Imperial felt a jolt of barely contained arousal leap through his body at the sound of the belt snapping open and falling away. Then the jacket was being pushed from his shoulders and Zeb's mouth was at his neck once again.

The rest of Zeb's armor was a bit more of a challenge, as were his boots, but gradually, they helped each other fumblingly remove pieces of their outer layers, laying down soft kisses and gentle touches with every bit laid bare. By the time he had pulled the Lasat down onto the bunk with him, he was down to his uniform pants, while Zeb's battle suit was down around his waist.

Somewhere in the middle of it all, they'd somehow switched positions, with Zeb sitting on the bunk and Kallus straddling his lap, trailing a line of kisses down his bare chest. He took his time with every kiss, swirling his tongue along the lavender skin and sucking at it, tasting as much of his lover as he could. The unique scent of the Lasat's musk was heavy in his nose, driving him just that little bit wilder. And the taste of him...so much stronger than any human...so much _more_. Already, the combination of it all threatened to completely overwhelm him with pleasure.

"Hngh... _Alex_ ," Zeb groaned heavily, claws pricking dangerously at his vulnerable skin as he gripped at him.

As it always seemed to whenever Zeb called him by name, his heart twinged a little, both in sorrow and elation. Sorrow for the lost time, grief for what he had nearly given away to the Empire...but elation for what still might be, relief for the very last part of him that Zeb had not allowed to perish.

Lifting his head back up to Zeb's, he whispered against his lips, "Say it again."

"Alex..." Zeb returned, almost without having to be asked.

"Again."

"Alex," he growled low in his throat, possessive...protective.

"Once more... _please,_ " he begged, fingers digging into Zeb's fur.

" _Ni Alex_ ," he whispered in his ear, holding him tightly.

" _Say my name,_ " he pleaded one last time, breathing his lover in.

"Alex," Zeb breathed back tremulously, laying the name upon his skin like a benediction, and not like the foul curse that name ought to have been to Captain Garazeb Orrelios. "Is this what you want?"

"Ungh... _Tinsana_...my beloved," he moaned, leaning insistently into the Lasat's touch. " _Yes_. I want this. Please- make me Alex. Help me- leave everything else behind..."

"Whatever you want," Zeb said with a warm, adoring smile. "More practical note, though. You ever...been with a non-human before?"

"A handful," he returned with a little smirk, waking briefly from the spell they'd cast over one another. "Many years ago...during the academy days. Really, it's been- almost that long since I was with _anyone_. Closest I came to Lasat, though, that was...Togorian, I think?"

Zeb nodded with a small laugh. "Yeah. Pretty close."

"What about you? Any experience with us boring old humans?"

"Enough," Zeb answered, smiling fondly at some memory or other. "My experience has been that it's not so much the _equipment_ that counts as it is the...creativity. One thing you'll find that's different from a Togorian, though...is this," he started in, taking one of Alex's hands and drawing it up to his neck, guiding his fingers to press up against some kind of pulse point there. When Zeb _purred_ at the contact, Alex's fingers flinched against the spot, an unwanted memory shooting to the surface of his thoughts.

 _Zeb naked on the floor of a cell...Archrem's fingers rubbing intently..._

"But that's-"

"Yeah. It is," Zeb said gently, still holding his hand in place, knowing exactly what it was he must be remembering. "That pleasure point is the same in all Lasat. Most others don't know about it. It's not meant for...what Zaniva and Kuross were usin' it for. Touchin' that pulse point without consent is...it's basically rape to my people," he struggled to explain, something in him going unpleasantly still as he spoke. Even so, he held Alex's fingers in place. "But...consent...permission freely given...means trust. I trust you enough to touch my neck. I _want_ you to."

For a moment, the former Imperial felt a trickle of warmth move through him at the request. It was wonderful to be trusted like that. But then something else Zeb had said lodged in his brain and refused to let go.

"You... _Kuross_ did this to you, too?"

He could see Zeb wanting to look away from him at that, could see the shame well in his eyes, but he held his gaze throughout. "He did. Brought me...just like that. But this isn't that. I want this, too. I want the memory of _your_ touch to drive that out. I want you to bring me to climax...just like this," he said, holding Alex's gaze with a heated one of his own as he rolled his hips beneath him.

Alex smiled sadly at him, not quite sure how to feel. "You'd rather...be finished with it that quickly? If you don't want to do this, we don't have to. Believe me, Zeb, my mother taught me a healthy respect for the seriousness of consent."

The look in Zeb's eyes shifted to one of confusion for a moment. "Didn't I just say...oh. _Oh!_ " he started in again as understanding began to dawn. Immediately, his look became hungry again. "You think I just have the one orgasm. Nope. You're gonna get at _least_ three a' those from me."

"Oh," Alex found himself mimicking in pleasant surprise as he grasped the concept. Then he laughed quietly, smiling. "Call me a little jealous. I suppose I have my work cut out for me."

"Y'do, that," Zeb said, wide eyes falling to half-lidded as he looked down at Alex's lips. "Best get started."

"As you wish," the former Imperial said, moving in to claim a fresh kiss, and as they kissed, he began to rub his fingers against the pulse point in Zeb's neck, slowly starting to learn the nuances of touch he could apply to the tiny spot.

Zeb moaned loudly into his mouth as he moved against him, a fresh wave of purring beginning deep in his chest. Alex pressed even closer against him as he rubbed, loving the rumbling feeling it inspired in his own chest. Quite suddenly, he could feel Zeb's body responding to him, could feel the press of him through the little clothing that still remained between them. And with that, he felt his own body begin to respond in kind, _aching_ for his lover.

He could easily gauge the escalation of his partner's state with the continued hitches in his breathing between groans and gasps, could feel it in the way his hips rolled ever faster beneath his. With every press of lips, he rubbed just that little bit harder, wanting to _feel_ the Lasat, to be as close to him as he possibly could be.

"Unh...Alex... _Alex_ ," he moaned helplessly between ever more frantic kisses, hands falling to grip at his hips. Alex had to hold to him with his other hand to keep from being dislodged as they moved together. He was close now. So close...

Then, all at once, he felt Zeb stiffen against him, the Lasat's head falling back as a delicious shudder passed through his body. And, slowly, that powerful body collapsed to the bunk, trembling with the aftershocks of his pleasure. All the while, a loud, heady _purr_ welled up from deep inside him, seemingly independent of the other noises he'd been making.

When Alex glanced down between them, he could see several tiny wells of his lover's pale, sticky fluid oozing up from beneath the folds of his battle suit. He couldn't begin to guess how much of it was being wicked up by the suit, but he was already beginning to feel just a little bit of that dampness through his own clothing, which meant there was _quite_ a mess hiding just beneath that fabric. The idea of it alone would've been enough to bring him to full arousal, but actually being able to _feel_ it, he was fully hard in seconds, straining against his own stiff Imperial fabric.

Smiling, he leaned down over Zeb to capture his lips in a fresh kiss. "Good?" he whispered against those trembling lips.

Zeb nodded faintly into the kiss, hands moving to grasp weakly at his hips once more. " _ **Z**_ _'ashyn_ ," he mumbled blearily in Lasana, Basic apparently having escaped him. " _K- ko...ko sultir...an vuuser...sultat syv?_ "

"Well...as I can have two more of these from you, I think I'd like to take my time," he began thoughtfully, moving slowly backward off of his partner's lap. As he moved, he reached for the soiled edges of the battle suit. "How do you feel about me taking you in my mouth?" he suggested with a grin.

Zeb's eyes widened in barely contained _interest_ over the notion. "P- pretty favorably," he managed in Basic. "Only fair to warn you, though, you shouldn't swallow...if you're- y'know...that sort."

His smirk became wry as he lifted an eyebrow in Zeb's direction. "Think I couldn't handle it?"

Zeb shook his head, propping himself up on his elbows. "'s not that. Pretty sure you could handle the _amount_ with a little practice. What I think you might have some trouble with is my barb. I know humans don't have those."

That one drew his attention but quick. "Pardon? Barb?"

Zeb glanced sheepishly away from him. "Yeah. My cock's got a little barb in it. Not all that long; hooks like nobody's business, though. When I...come inside a partner, that barb hooks on. Don't imagine you'd be all that thrilled with havin' my cock stuck down your throat for ten minutes. I'm not sayin' you can't swallow ever. Just...we'll have to do some figurin'."

"Right then," Alex said with a nod, trying not to sound _too_ eager over the prospect of actually having _time_ to figure out the ins and outs of their...sexual relationship. Slowly starting to pull the battle suit down, he looked back to his lover for permission. "Shall we proceed?"

Zeb responded with a faint nod of his own, lifting his hips to ease Alex's way. "We shall."

Alex slowly rolled the suit the rest of the way off, revealing his love in graphic, beautiful detail. Both the suit itself and Zeb's thighs were a gloriously sticky mess with the sheer volume of his release and that alone left Alex hungry to see more of him, but a more beautiful sight still was the Lasat's still-erect prick. While it wasn't as long as the human might've expected, it was _deliciously_ thick, a very deep purple color, and still glistening sinfully with his first release. He only _hoped_ he would be able to take that cock when the time came. Something in him felt...almost desperate to take his lover into himself. As if, in some way, he _needed_ this too much. As if he wouldn't have the strength to go back and complete his last task if he didn't experience this at least _once_ before...

 _...before_ _ **what?**_

Instead of letting himself think too much on it, he let himself fall on his beloved, his mouth closing around the swollen, sticky head of Zeb's prick. He shivered pleasantly at the high _whimper_ he drew from the Lasat's mouth with every swirl of his tongue, every brush of his teeth.

He couldn't take the thick shaft _all_ the way down his throat, unfortunately. He was a bit too out of practice for that kind of fun. But he could certainly lavish attention over every centimeter of it, laving the hot flesh like a favorite treat, his head bobbing up and down over it.

Zeb, throughout it all, mewled like a pleased loth cat, writhing beneath him, though he was clearly fighting not to buck too much, probably uncertain how much of his raw strength Alex could take. Either way, there was something intensely beautiful about watching so powerful a warrior come completely undone beneath him...about Zeb loving – _trusting_ him enough to allow him to see him like this. Swept up in the ecstasy of it all, he took Zeb as far down his throat as he could, half-willing him to come inside him.

" _Hngh...ashvyri...shan Ashla...arreh nalva...Alex!_ " Zeb cried out, claws digging into the bedding, thighs quivering against his shoulders with the nearness of his next orgasm.

 _Yes...yes..._ _ **yes!**_

"Alex... _please,_ " Zeb begged him, struggling desperately for Basic. "I- I'm gonna...I'm gonna co- come! _Ah! Arreh Ashla!_ You have- to _stop!_ "

Oh. Right.

Zeb wasn't begging for release. He was begging him not to do something foolish. Not a moment too soon, he pulled his mouth off of the Lasat's straining cock, witnessing the moment when his barb shot free hardly more than a few centimeters from his face.

Then came the almost violent surge of the former guardsman's second climax.

Alex felt his breath catch in his raw throat as he watched the thick gush and flow of seed from his lover's body. It began as a powerful rush, pouring forth for several minutes before gradually tapering off, finishing with a few sluggish pulses of the stuff before finally coming to a stop, though Zeb himself was still hard, standing proudly at attention from the hard plane of his stomach. Just the sight of it made Alex fleetingly wish he were female, even if it was only for the _slightest_ chance of being impregnated by his partner, of his belly swelling with Garazeb Orrelios' child...

An idle fantasy at best. Who even knew if Lasat and humans _could_ mate? Either way, Alex was left no less hungry, no less _aching_ for his _Tinsana_ to take him and to fill him. Reaching down with a dazed smile, he ran his fingers eagerly through the slick substance coating Zeb's belly and thighs.

"I hope you're ready for round three, _ni alitha_ , because I need this in me- like _now_ ," he insisted, forgoing his typical eloquence in favor of urgency. He was empty and he _needed_ Zeb to fill him.

Zeb nodded weakly as he looked up at him, but the _need_ in his eyes burned just as brightly as it had throughout all this. Slowly, he sat up. Though he remained hard, his barb retracted quickly, probably because it hadn't latched to anything. "Oh, _I'm_ ready, love. Might take some doin' to get _you_ ready, though...if you want me inside you."

"I know," Alex said in a low voice, running his fingers very deliberately through the cooling semen, thoroughly coating them. "But your own fingers might be just a little too big for me to take in one go, so..." he started in, voice slowly trailing off as he traced his own slicked fingers teasingly down his chest, over his stomach, down into his half-open pants, past his own achingly full cock, until he came at last to the tight muscles of his entrance. Then slowly, _so_ slowly, with Zeb's eyes positively _devouring_ every move he made, he penetrated himself.

He kept at it slowly, surely, his own eyes drinking in every expression on Zeb's face as he made himself ready. He observed every twitch of muscle, ever sharp intake of breath, every widening of the eyes there was to be seen in the Lasat warrior's countenance. Zeb, it seemed, was ready to devour him.

Was he ready to _be_ devoured?

Alex worked at himself until he could easily take three of his own fingers. It might be a bit of a trial for him, but he felt sure he could take it.

He _wanted_ to take it. He couldn't say with any certainty just how _long_ it was he'd dreamed of this. Now it was actually happening. And Zeb was just as needy for it as he was, the hunger in his large eyes plain as he reached a hand down to give himself a few hard strokes.

Once he felt he was ready as he was going to be, he crawled the short distance across the bunk to Zeb, drawing him into another kiss. It wasn't long before Zeb's hands were dropping to his hips, clumsily helping him struggle out of the last of his clothing.

"How do- _ngh_...you wanna do this?" Zeb asked him again, quickly returning to kissing every bit of skin he could get at.

"Would you- _mm_...be all right with- back to chest?" he asked, whimpering at the latest nip the Lasat took of his chest, soothed just as quickly by his rough tongue. "I won't...won't last long. I want- to feel your arms around me," he admitted, fingers digging furrows in the fur of Zeb's back.

"Sounds good to me," he said, briefly lowering his head further to swirl that tongue over one of Alex's nipples. He couldn't help the startled cry that escaped his throat as his head fell back, the sensation firing through his already hypersensitive nerves. Stars, but it had been far too long since anyone had touched him like this. It took him several moments to regain his breath, and when he finally did, it was to see Zeb smirking up at him. "Bit sensitive, are we?" his lover teased.

"A bit," he conceded with a dazed smile. "Do you plan to have me, Captain Orrelios, or would you rather just make me come like that?"

"Oh, I'm gettin' me a piece of that," the Lasat said with a possessive snarl. "Let's see about that smart mouth," he said before claiming Alex's lips in yet another kiss, this one deeper than many of the ones that had come before. For several moments, they just held like that, suspended in this moment between them. Then, on some unspoken cue between them, Alex began to turn in Zeb's embrace.

Zeb was only too eager to accommodate his desire to be held, arms wrapping around him as he turned over his shoulder to steal another kiss. They couldn't manage to hold this one quite as long, but it was no less heartfelt for the length.

"You ready?" Zeb whispered against him, the warm puff of his breath sending a divine shiver through him.

"I've _been_ ready... _ni Tinsana_ ," he returned breathlessly, pressing a brief peck to the Lasat's cheek before letting his head fall back forward.

"Anytime you need me to stop, just tell me," Zeb reminded him before slowly starting to press forward.

He had to remind himself to stay relaxed at the first penetration, feeling his body beginning to stretch to accept his partner. Zeb was careful to go slow, though his still-coated cock would've slid into Alex easily enough, Alex himself was a little too human to be able to take it in one go. So the Lasat moved slowly, attentive to any signs of pain or discomfort from him.

Alex gave none, though. He just moaned at the sensation, head falling back against Zeb's chest as his jaw went slack.

"You all right?" Zeb asked him, pressing a kiss to his temple.

" _Yeess_ ," he groaned, the word long and drawn out, ultimately rising to a tiny whimper at the end. There was a dull ache and burn from the stretch of muscles long unused, but overall the feeling was pleasurable. Half-gone with the feel of it, part of him wanted to tighten around his lover, but he resisted the temptation. He held himself open, relaxed, the muscles in his thighs, buttocks, and even his stomach trembling with the feeling.

He felt Zeb brush lightly against his prostate once he was buried fully inside of him, and the sensation sent out such a delicious ripple of bliss, he couldn't wholly help the tiny cry that escaped his mouth, wordless and helpless.

"Stars...oh, _stars_ ," he whimpered, body trembling even more fiercely.

"Is it good?" Zeb asked him, his own voice already strung out with pleasure. He held Alex in a solid, reassuring grip, but his fingers also managed to be delicate as he ran them scintillatingly over Alex's skin, only occasionally pricking with those wicked-looking claws.

" _So_ good," he exhaled, lifting his own hands to lay them over his. "And me? Am I...good for you?"

"Better than you know," Zeb whispered in his ear, tongue darting out to taste the sweat on his skin. All the while, he held himself perfectly still. " _An unir_ _ **z'ashyn**_ _zalv ni talima, La velka tef lithir'a an s'ahn rokali rika torril zalv syv teranal._ "

Alex felt his face go red at the words. There were one or two he didn't know the _exact_ meaning of, but could guess well enough from the rest of them – could guess just how _filthy_ they were. The blush wasn't helped when Zeb reached down a hand to grip his cock, large fingers wrapping delicately around the sensitive length of flesh. The Lasat managed to draw another little cry from him when he ran a thumb nearly the full length of it.

"Probably- _nngh_...probably not as... _impressive_ as you're used to," he couldn't quite keep from putting himself down. Especially with how he compared to what was currently deep inside him.

He felt Zeb shrug against him as he stroked up and down his prick. "Don't much care what it looks like. It's yours. Hottest kriffin' thing in the galaxy far as I'm concerned. And it's gonna make you feel _so good,_ " he hissed in his ear, timing the words with a hard _squeeze_.

Alex almost came right there. The combination of the physical attention with the loving words nearly overwhelmed him.

"If..." he struggled to speak after his latest round of cries, "if you plan- to _do me_ , my captain...had best do. I get one. Only one."

"Then let's make it a _good one_ ," Zeb growled low in his throat before beginning to move again.

Alex felt every centimeter of his lover withdraw from his body, but he wasn't left empty for long. When Zeb thrust back into him, it was with more force than his first slow penetration, but still not more than Alex could bear. What was truly intense was the moment Zeb struck his pleasure point again, sending a fresh wave of sensation through his body.

"Uhn...oh- stars...oh, _Zeb,_ " he panted out, clinging to the Lasat in any way he possibly could, reveling in the feeling of being so thoroughly joined with his partner.

Zeb grunted several things in Lasana, not all of which were intelligible in his state of bliss, but he did catch _ashkerra_ and _sastyrial_.

"Mm... _Tinsana..._ _ **Tinsana!**_ " was all he could manage to return with, coherent thought lost in a daze. Thankfully, the pace Zeb maintained was even, steady and none too fast. Otherwise he really might not have been able to handle it.

"Hngh...kara- _Alex!_ " Zeb cried out, hips rolling against him with increasing speed and less controlled movement. He was close now. Alex had gotten a sense for at least that much from the first two orgasms.

"Kri- oh...yeah... _yeah,_ " was all he could get out, head rolling back against the Lasat's chest.

Then, with one last really good snap of his hips and an animalistic _snarl_ , Zeb was releasing inside of him, and he was feeling several different things at once.

There was the feeling of being filled with the Lasat's seed, the deliciously _lewd_ feel of the stuff as it burst inside of him, thoroughly _soaking_ him in everything that was Garazeb Orrelios. There was also the feeling of Zeb's barb shooting free of its little sheath and latching directly to his prostate.

Alex _screamed_ from the intensity of the contact, not because it was painful, but because he'd _never_ experienced such blinding pleasure in all his life. As the climax seized him, his head fell back against Zeb's heaving chest, his body lost in the deluge of sensation as he spilled all over Zeb's hand.

When the orgasm had finally had its way with him, he slowly came to to find himself lying on the bunk with Zeb thoroughly tangled up in him. He needed a few moments to remember how to breathe, his nerves still alight with the memory of the ultimate satisfaction. Even though his own climax had finished, he could still feel the last pulses of Zeb's seed spurting fitfully inside of him.

"You- you all right?" Zeb asked him, voice coming out much higher than normal, cracked and unsteady with worry. "You...that scream...did I hurt you?"

"No," he soothed his lover in a breathless whisper, now wishing he could turn to properly look at him. "I screamed because I've never- climaxed like that, ever. I've never come so hard in all my life. That was- _amazing_."

Zeb laughed, more in relief than amusement, as he reached his still clean hand to tangle with Alex's. "Careful there. Don't wanna go givin' me a big head."

"You certainly don't need help in _that_ department, Beloved," Alex couldn't keep himself from pointing out, faintly clenching his muscles around the prick still locked firmly in his backside. They both moaned languidly when the action drew a last sluggish spurt of seed from the Lasat.

"Mm...I really wish I could mark you up proper," Zeb said, sending a shiver down his spine as he nuzzled the back of his neck, breathing in the sated, sweaty, post-coital scent of him.

"Is that...something your people often do?" Alex asked in a tired voice. "Wouldn't think- something like that would show through fur."

"Doesn't. That's not what it's for," he said, nipping at his shoulder. Not hard enough to break skin, but certainly to a point he could _feel it_. "Gets the scent in deeper. Nobody in the Empire's gonna be able to smell me on you... _in_ you. A mark, though, it'd show up real nice on that pale skin. That'd be a nice parting gift. Just walk right up to 'em and tell 'em you're mine," he breathed in his ear, running a hand down his side before reaching it around to clasp one of Alex's hands in his.

"Yours," he whispered back, drawing their joined hands up to press a kiss to them. "I rather like the sound of that."

"Too right. Plus you can't even imagine what it does to me, just the idea of doin' one a' their best and brightest hard and fast in one a' their own shuttles. Now that's a middle finger I can get behind," Zeb teased with a nip of his ear.

"Best and brightest?" he asked. Even now, even after baring himself so thoroughly before his lover's eyes, even with Zeb still buried balls' deep in his thoroughly worked arse, Alex still found himself blushing at the Lasat's words. "Careful, _ni alitha_. Or I'll soon be the one with the large head."

"Wouldn't be undeserved, _Ashvahn ni Malmanahn_ ," he praised, hand shifting down to stroke along Alex's hip.

"Mm...that one was...'Moon of my Sky', yes?"

"Yeah," Zeb said, then continued maybe a little more hesitantly. "It does have an answerin' phrase...if you want it."

"Oh?"

" _Ashnahn na Kayat._ "

Alex thought about it a moment. "That's...'Sun Above me'?"

"'s right. If you got a preference for one over the other, take your pick. I'm not particular," Zeb said, nuzzling the back of his head.

"I like 'Sun Above me," he decided after a moment of thought. "I think I'll keep that one. _Ashnahn na Kayat._ "

If Zeb was going to respond, he was stopped by a sudden grunt. Alex actually _felt_ the moment he unlatched from him, the motion sending a fresh pulse of sensation through him. Then the Lasat was pulling out of him and he felt the obscene, sticky flow as his semen spilled from his body. He couldn't really help his own gasp at the feel of it.

"Enjoyed yourself, then?" Zeb asked more than a little smugly, pressing a kiss to his ear before sitting up.

"More than I can hope to express. But that we have things to do, it would not be all that hard to get me going again," he said, slowly sitting up himself. He was quite certain he would be feeling Zeb with him for several days after.

"Hmm, might have to see about some proper leave time once you're with us," the Lasat said, smirking at Alex as he turned to look at him. "Pretty sure there's a _lot_ we still have to... _uncover_ about each other."

"We're almost there now," he said, smiling at his partner. But that happiness was suddenly twinged by the memory of why, exactly, they were here. The one blight on their joy. "And...Lia?"

"We'll know when she wakes," he said, hand vaguely waving toward the pile of his discarded clothing on the floor. "My comlink's keyed in to the overhead frequency of mine and Ezra's bunk. We'll hear her."

"I was-"

Whatever he'd meant to say went completely from his mind when he was interrupted by a comm signal from the helm. Feeling the blood drain from his face, he could almost swear his heart dropped into his stomach as he shared a horrified look with Zeb.

 _Oh,_ _ **kriff!**_

Within moments, they were in motion, Zeb dropping to gather up his scattered clothing. Alex didn't bother with that, knowing he could never manage to make himself decent in the amount of time he had, and when he scrambled up to the pilot's console and saw who the incoming signal was from, he knew he absolutely did better not to even attempt it.

Thrawn.

Because of _course_ it was Thrawn.

Kallus took a moment to compose himself before responding, reaching for the cold, hard Imperial facade Zeb had so thoroughly stripped from him. At this point, it was a death sentence to slip up.

"Grand Admiral," he acknowledged when he opened up the line.

"Are you receiving me properly, Agent Kallus?" the Chiss' voice came through. "I seem to only be receiving audio for my part."

"Mine as well," he lied. "Apologies, but my holo-projection system appears to be down. I will have to have a maintenance ticket put in. You wanted to speak with me?"

"I do. You are not currently with the Lothal Sector Fleet?"

"No. I received word from a contact regarding some of the insurgents from the incident on Manaan. I wanted to follow up immediately."

"Diligent as ever. Though I shall require you to return to Lothal as soon as may be arranged."

"Has something happened?" he asked, being careful to keep his voice even.

"Colonel Yularen has uncovered information about a possible threat from the Lothal rebels. We require your expertise in their tactics in order to determine if the information is credible."

"Of course," Kallus said quietly, noting the subtle shift in the air as Zeb came to stand beside him. The Lasat made not a sound, but he felt him nonetheless. "I should be able to be planetside by oh-nineteen-hundred Capital time. Is there anything further you can leave me with?"

"I would not risk it when we cannot confirm we have truly rid ourselves of insurgent ears. I would say only that this threat appears imminent."

"And just how credible do _you_ find the information?"

"Quite credible. After all, Lists can be quite effective when utilized properly."

"Indeed," Kallus said softly, something going cold in his heart as he listened to the Chiss' voice over the line.

He knew.

Thrawn _knew_ that he was Fulcrum.

The grand admiral was implying that the information had come from interrogation of Lyste, but Kallus was the only person in the Empire who knew for a fact that Lyste had no information to give. If he still trusted him, he wouldn't need to lie to him, and at that, he would have no reason to lie to him via code or implication. Therefore he was lying to him with the full knowledge that Kallus would _know_ he was lying to him. This was a calling card.

 _I know who you are. Will you still face me?_

And yet...this was all being set up as a snare...a trap for _him_. Thrawn _wanted_ him to return, to step willingly into the trap. Why? What was to stop him from escaping after so bold a declaration that his fate was set? What did he believe he had that Kallus needed?

This revelation and quandary passed through the human's mind in no more than a few moments, but if Thrawn was going to respond to him in any way, he was never to know it, because all was interrupted when the comlink at Zeb's belt activated, the sound of Arkalia squealing awake ricocheting through the cockpit like a blaster bolt. If there was any color remaining in his face, Kallus imagined that drained it away entirely. Immediately, Zeb was scrambling to shut the comlink down.

"What was that?" Thrawn's unfailingly even voice questioned over the line.

"Interference," Kallus said sharply, stretching desperately for his own calm. Just because Thrawn had figured _him_ out didn't mean he needed to give away who he was with. "Not certain. I'll look into it later. Kallus out," he said before shutting down the comm, exhaling heavily once it was off.

"Karabast," Zeb ground out, fist tightening around the tiny device. "Well, Kali's awake."

"I noticed," Kallus returned, pinching the bridge of his nose momentarily.

"You're not still gonna go back, are you? After that?" Zeb asked him, shifting to lean against the console. He had his battle suit back on up to the waist, belted in place.

"Yes," Kallus said, voice quiet as he stared at the comms array. "I'm afraid I have to. I _must_ carry out this last task, now more than ever. And there may also be a chance they know something about the planned attack. I have to find out."

"So what's to stop me from tryin' you up, throwin' you in the _Ghost's_ hold and just runnin' off with you, huh?" Zeb asked as he pinned him to the pilot's seat, only a small spark of teasing in his eyes.

Kallus offered up a warm, saddened smile as he looked up at his lover. Reaching up a hand, he slowly ran his fingers through his facial hair and the fur at the sides of his face.

"Let me be ta'en, let me be put to death. I am content, so thou will have it so," he quoted as he drew the Lasat down into a kiss. His smile lingered as their lips pressed together. Zeb groaned softly into the gentle embrace, and when they took a following moment to breathe, Alex finished the line by whispering against his partner's lips, "I have more care to stay than will to go. Come, death, and welcome. Garazeb wills it so."

Zeb quirked an eyebrow as he looked down at him. "What is that?"

"A line from a play...by Wyn Sallah. Never heard of her?" he asked, tilting his head to the side.

"Name sounds kinda familiar, but I don't know anythin' about her," Zeb admitted.

"Verging on ancient at this point. Sallah wrote in the earliest days of the Galactic Republic. Her work is widely held as a cornerstone of Coruscanti classical culture. My mother...she was an avid reader of Sallah."

"Can't be all that stuffy then," Zeb said with a chuckle.

"No. I don't suppose the line fits the situation exactly, but it seemed appropriate to me. You had best see to Arkalia before she _really_ stars to get fussy. I need to- clean up first," he said, grin only a little pained as he looked down at himself. There was something distinctly amusing about the fact that he'd held a conversation with Thrawn naked as the day he was born and covered in Lasat cum.

"Right. Don't be too long about it," Zeb told him, leaning down to claim one last kiss before heading back to the _Ghost_.

Kallus sat there a few moments, just remembering, pressing the feel of that kiss into his mind.

Zeb didn't know. _Couldn't_ know what he'd realized, what danger he was going back into. If he did, there was no way he'd _allow_ Kallus to go back. He would make good his threat to run away with Kallus.

Not that such a notion was much of a threat. It was more of a reward. But he hadn't truly _earned_ that reward. Not yet. So he couldn't tell Zeb what was happening. He would just have to kiss his family goodbye and hope he lived to see them again.

Well...one of them.

"One last time," he said before climbing to his feet.

It wasn't long before he was crossing the lock into the _Ghost_ , freshly cleaned and back in uniform with his last gift to Arkalia tucked under his arm. Zeb met him in the common area with the squirming little kit in his arms. Arkalia squealed in excitement when she saw him, reaching out for him with her tiny four-fingered hands.

"Hello," he cooed for her, smiling as he took her from Zeb, pulling her in close to nuzzle against her forehead. "It's been so long, dear heart. Though...I suppose it's goodbye now...instead of hello."

"A-lai-la!" she babbled in response, likely no idea what he was saying, but wanting to talk with him just the same.

"Indeed? Well, whatever you say, little princess," he said, heart twinging briefly at his own choice of words. Did Zeb know? Had it come up with the other Lasat? Either way, now just wasn't the time for it. "I swore to your mother I would see you somewhere safe and- now you will be. I only hope you know how I shall miss you. But it will do us all good to know you are alive. I know you won't remember me, but I- I have something here for you," he told her as he shifted her into a one-armed hold to present the item he held in the crook of his arm.

"Alex," Zeb breathed out when he saw what it was, voice a mix of sorrow and amazement.

It was the meteorite from their time on Bahryn. The glow had dimmed considerably over the last year, but a tiny kernel of light still shone from within, giving its power to the galaxy.

"This little thing kept Zeb and I alive when we might've died. And it's given me courage when I've needed it. But Zeb is my courage now," he explained as he carefully pressed the meteorite into the kit's arms. It wasn't all that much smaller than she herself was. "I'd like for _you_ to have this now, to remind you that no matter how bad things might seem, no matter how dark the night grows, hope is never truly lost."

He felt something clench painfully in his heart as he watched the baby wrap her little limbs around the stone. Already, he could feel the burn of tears in his eyes. He couldn't draw this out. Otherwise he really would lose it.

"You can never know what you have meant to me," he said as he hugged her tightly. "I will miss you every day."

Perhaps they would meet again...if he lived that long...but it wouldn't be quite the same, as she likely would've forgotten about him by then. His eyes stung even worse as the tears began to escape against his will, trickling down his face.

"I will- do _everything_ in my power- to make a safer galaxy for you," he vowed to her as he clutched her against his chest, his vision blurring with the freely flowing tears as he pressed several kisses to the top of her fuzzy little head. "I love you. _I love you._ "

Then, before he could lose anymore control than he already had, he was passing Arkalia back to Zeb, swallowing hard as he turned away from the two Lasat.

"Alex-" Zeb started in some effort to console him, and Kallus could feel him start to reach across the space between them, but he quickly composed himself with one last swallow and a swipe of his gloved hand across his face.

"No. Go now. Before anything else happens," he told his lover, turning back to him to press a brief but tender kiss to his lips. "I will see you again...when this is over. _La rokir rrazehan._ "

" _An san ni Tinsana,_ " Zeb finished, hand twitching faintly, as if resisting the urge to reach across to him as he backed away from them. " _L'ashkerrir an._ "

" _L'ashkerrir an,_ " he returned, then he was in motion, moving back through the _Ghost_ toward his own ship in order to face whatever it was Thrawn had waiting for him back on Lothal.

If he'd known then what it was he'd allowed to happen, he honestly might've thrown himself out the airlock then and there.

XxX

Zeb tried not to think too much as he piloted the _Ghost_ back through hyperspace. He knew that if he did, he would wind up losing it, just like Alex.

He didn't have to do much while the freighter was actually in flight, so he just sat in Hera's seat with Arkalia occupying Kanan's usual spot, her little carrier situated safely in the chair while she played with the meteorite.

Watching the others Spectres say their goodbyes to Arkalia had been hard. But watching Alex say goodbye to her had been almost more than he could bear. It had twisted something inside of him, broken him wide open him, and that painful breach was leaving him open to new thoughts.

 _This is the best thing for her._

 _Is it?_

 _Of course. A war's no place for a kid to be growin' up._

 _It's how Ezra's been growing up, and he seems to be turning out okay._

 _But she...she's...so little. It's not safe._

 _Is_ _ **anything**_ _ever truly safe?_

 _She's...how will I...how can I_ _ **ever**_ _-_

 _ **We will find our new home only if the Child saves the lives of the Warrior and the Fool.**_

The words of Chava's prophecy rammed their way to the surface of his thoughts almost violently. Only it seemed _he_ wasn't the Child this time.

 _ **You**_ _are the one who is fighting with destiny, Zeb,_ a voice that sounded suspiciously like Ahsoka's spoke out in his mind as he looked to Arkalia once again, never more torn in his life than he was in this exact moment. _**You**_ _are the Fool._

 _I'm just not- the fatherin' type,_ he tried to argue. _What can I do for a perfect sweetheart like her? It's better if she gets her a proper family. She_ _ **deserves**_ _it. After everythin' she'd been through..._

 _She deserves to have her family, yes. Isn't that_ _ **you?**_ _You and Alex and the other Spectres. We don't always choose our families. Sometimes they choose us. This family, it_ _ **chose**_ _Arkalia._

If Arkalia really was the Child in this case, and he the Fool and Alex still the Warrior, then she very much had saved them. She had held them together at a time when their relationship was still new, still forming. And love of her had, in some small way, offered them both something they had sought.

Forgiveness.

It wasn't anything active on her part. She couldn't know who either of them were...what guilt they carried with them. But in the simplicity of her unselfish love, she had saved both of them.

 _So...has your new home been found?_

Feeling the last of his resistance crumbling as he looked to the kit once more, he saw her looking up at him with something like a question in her round eyes.

" _Dan-Dan?_ "

Dan-Dan. Adan. _Father._ Her first word.

 _Dada._

And on that single word, the galaxy crumbled and reformed all around him. Rising from the chair, he went to lift Arkalia from the carrier, near-crying as he nuzzled his face against hers and loving the sound of her laughter as she gripped at the fur just below his ears. It was only what Kanan and the others had been trying to tell him and Alex all along.

Arkalia was _theirs_. His and Alex's. Their _daughter._ He _couldn't_ give her up.

"Hey, you," he said with a jubilant laugh as he hugged her again, as if seeing her for the first time. "Hello."

"Dan-Dan!" she called out again, giggling, clearly pleased with herself for the word.

Zeb didn't quite know what to do with himself anymore. Only too recently, he'd been an inch from breaking down and now his heart was soaring, all with the promise of one little revelation. Thankfully, though, he didn't have to think much on what to actually do, because his proximity alert sounded then, letting him know to come out of light speed. He was still grinning like a fool as he resettled Arkalia and took up the controls again, but there was also just a touch of bitterness to his good humor.

"Y'know, just once I'd like to be the Warrior."

He snapped into real space to the sight of the three transport ships they'd escaped from Manaan with, all waiting for him at the designated jump point.

"Good to see you, _Ghost_ ," Kar's voice came over the comm. "Productive trip?"

"Very," he answered with a grin a klick wide.

"Great. Just hurry up and dock so we can transfer. Then we'll get this thing underway."

"Right," Zeb said, more to himself than to his friend. He didn't bother with the carrier once he'd docked the _Ghost_ with the first of the transports. He just undid Arkalia's safety restraints and picked her up, letting her cling easily to his chest as he walked.

His little girl...his _daughter._ He'd resisted for so long, but now that he was onboard, he was onboard all the way. It might disappoint Reith to learn that Ash wouldn't be getting a sister, but more than that, he imagined she would be happy he was accepting Arkalia as his own. The new father-daughter pair was ready and waiting to greet Reith, Kar, and the others when they boarded the _Ghost_.

"Someone's excited," Reith commented when she got a look at him. The fur at his neck and shoulders fluffed outward in the Lasat equivalent of a human blush when he saw her nostrils twitch, catching just a bit of the scent that was still clearly coming off of him. "And...well-satisfied, I would guess, from the smell of things," she said with a knowing smirk.

" _Very_ well-satisfied, if you have to know," he said, struggling to regain some sort of cavalier attitude about the whole business. "Now I know you might find this just a _little_ disappointing, _Reith'ika_ , but-"

Before he could even finish the sentence and tell her the news, a hard blast suddenly rocked the ship, nearly sending them all off their feet.

" _Karabast!_ " Zeb snarled, making sure Kali was held securely against his chest. "What the kriffing- _kriff_ -"

"Tiri, talk to me!" Reith snapped over her comlink, her own kit held tightly against her breast. "What do you have on scope?"

"Unknown ship," the other guardswoman came back not a minute later. "It just appeared out of hyperspace and took a shot."

"Try to hail them," Reith ordered as she followed Zeb to the bridge. "And get your shields up. We'll be online soon."

Being strictly transport ships, none of the three ships that composed the little fleet were equipped with weapons, but they did at least have shields. The other two would be fine, but of course the _Ghost_ and the lead transport couldn't raise shields while they were in active dock. They would have to separate. And Zeb was already worried about the one hit they'd taken. What damage might have already been done?

Zeb threw himself at the pilot's console upon hitting the bridge, not even waiting for word from Jorrah to disengage docking. Yet one more hit rocked the old freighter before he managed to throw the shields up.

"Whoever this bastard is, they're not saying anything," Jorrah's voice came over the comm. "But from where I'm sitting, it looks like they took out your weapons."

Getting only a brief glimpse of the ship outside the viewport, he could see it wasn't Imperial. That was all he needed for now. So long as this wasn't the Empire, the situation could be dealt with.

"Unidentified runner," he hailed the mystery vessel himself, "you feel up to explainin' to me why you've opened fire on unarmed cargo vessels?"

"Garazeb Orrelios," an unpleasantly familiar voice sounded over the comm, sending a spark of dread straight down Zeb's spine. "So good to hear your voice. Did ya miss me, big guy?"

"Kuross," Zeb snarled in response.

"Kuross?" Reith repeated, half in fear and half in anger. " _Giren_ Kuross?"

"That's the one," Zeb said. Of course they would know him. Likely the human had captured a good number of them.

"Y'know, I thought I was just gonna be baggin' you, but I'm startin' to think I've hit on somethin' even better. After all, it was _three_ transports that were stolen from Manaan, yeah?" the bounty hunter's oily voice stated, coating the former captain's ears with disgust and terror. If Kuross figured out what they were doing here...

"What do you want _me_ for?" he growled, thinking maybe to keep the man distracted.

Kuross laughed. "Let's just say a _very_ interested third party's offerin' a pretty sum for that stubborn head. And I'm the only one who can give it to 'em."

"How'd you find me?"

"That's for me to know, Lasat. Only thing that's gonna matter to you going forward is I _did_. Ain't nowhere you can go in the galaxy I can't find you, so you might as well give it up now."

"Thought you hunted Lasat," Zeb said casually as a plan started to take shape in his mind. "You should know by now we don't give up."

"True. Hunt wouldn't be any fun if ya did. Stakes are a little different this time 'round, though. So you comin' quiet, big boy, or are ya gonna give me trouble?"

"Oh, don't be an idiot, man. Of _course_ I'm gonna give you trouble. Just give me a few minutes," he snapped back.

Again, the bounty hunter laughed. "All right, fine. I'll bite. Ya get five standard. Won't have it said I ain't a gracious host."

"Host a' the year, you are," Zeb grumbled before killing the communication. Almost before it was off, he was in motion.

"Zeb, what are you going to do?" Kar demanded.

"Can't go forward. Can't go back," Zeb said, almost more to himself. "We don't know how he tracked me, so I can't go back to Atollon. Might lead him to the others. And if he really is trackin' the _Ghost_ , you all might lead him straight to Lira San. Can't have that either."

"So what are you thinking?" Reith pressed as they moved through the ship, ultimately winding up at the _Phantom II_ 's hatch.

"Gonna give him the chase he wants," Zeb said as he keyed up the shuttle. "I'm gonna lead him away and give you guys the chance to give him the slip. But you're gonna have to figure out _how_ it is he's trackin' the _Ghost_. The coordinates you need are in the ship's nav system, but if it happens you have to leave her behind and find the way with one a' the transports, you should know that you'll need to use a bo-rifle in the way the Ancients did in order to navigate through the star cluster," he explained as he prepared for takeoff, strapping the carrier he'd brought from the cockpit to the copilot's seat.

"None of us _has_ a bo-rifle," Kar tried to argue.

"I know," he said, taking a moment to sling his own weapon from his back and passing it into his friend's hands. "I expect to get that back when I see you again."

"Zeb-" Reith started.

"Runnin' short on time here," he interrupted before she could say more. "Once you're sure he can't get to you, I need you to get a message back to the Alliance. I can't contact 'em now; I'm not sure if he could trace that. Not riskin' it. If it really is just me he wants, this _vosareln tumba_ oughta follow where I lead. I'm not-"

" _ZEB'AKI!_ " Reith snarled with the authority of all the years she held over him, and the tone he'd obeyed since childhood managed to extract at least an ounce of quiet from him, his focus drawn to the older guard as the shuttle thrummed to life around them. "This is insane. You _know_ that...don't you?"

Zeb sighed before coming back with, "Well...unfortunately insane's about all we got left at this point. I'm not leadin' that _monster_ back to my friends and I _know_ I'm not leadin' him to my people. So that leaves us with _me_. He gets me, and maybe Kanan and the others can come up with a plan."

"Do you know what that human _does_ to Lasat?" she asked him as she came in close. "If we let you go-"

"No lettin' here. I'll give you an order if I have to, Alreitha Rivani, and you'll obey me, big sister or no, _val gar an sova na sir nel Jan Tallahn._ "

The expression on Reith's face became resigned at this. Hurrying forward, she pulled him into a hug, both Ash and Arkalia held tightly between them.

" _Val Ashla_ , if Ash could see some of the things I let you do-"

"You can't stop me anymore than she could. I know what I'm gettin' myself into," he said as he backed away from her. "So if you'll excuse me, I gotta go make some trouble."

"And...Arkalia?"

Zeb shook his head, hugging the kit a little tighter for a moment. "No. My girl stays with me."

The smile that lit the former guardswoman's face was both relieved and a little worried. Perhaps now wasn't the best time to stake his parental claim, but he'd made a decision and Ashla damn him if he wasn't going to stand by it now. Besides, neither route was truly any safer than the other at this point.

Then Reith and Kar were leaving the shuttle and he was strapping Arkalia into her harness, preparing for whatever might come next. Once he was ready, he brought up ship's comms via the shuttle's systems.

"So, Orrelios, finished plotting yet?" Kuross asked him snidely once the line was active.

"Might've done," Zeb said, readying to separate before the _Phantom II_ could drift back into the bounty hunter's line of sight and give them away. "So if you want me, _sleemo_ , you'd just better come and _get me!_ "

The sudden separation from the _Ghost_ was jarring, but Zeb was ready for it. Ready enough that he was able to take a few potshots at Kuross as he rocketed past him. And when he caught a glimpse of his shots impacting the ship's hull he was relieved to realize the bounty hunter had in fact lowered his shields after taking out the _Ghost's_ weaponry. At least they would be on somewhat equal footing in this chase. But it wasn't very long before Kuross was on his tail.

Zeb didn't put much thought into a destination. He couldn't jump to light speed. Slipping away like that would just send Kuross back to his people, and he _couldn't_ allow that. Not to mention he would just be able to track him to wherever he exited.

No.

This would just have to be a good, old-fashioned chase through the void of the surrounding system.

He couldn't say how long it had been when Kuross finally attempted to contact him.

"You can't keep this up forever, Orrelios!" the human's voice snapped through the comm system when he allowed him through.

"Doesn't mean I can't try," he snarled back. He wasn't really in this to get away, after all. He was in it to buy the others time to get away. And while he wasn't exactly eager to wind up captured, he also had faith in his friends – his _family_. The Spectres wouldn't let them down.

"Kriffing little- promise you now, _captain_ , bit of the money I get for that precious hide's goin' to replace those guns you destroyed."

"Gotta get the money first," he fired back.

"Aw, I _will_ , big boy. Don't doubt that. Maybe just a little more spoiled than my client wanted. 'Cuz I _know_ you didn't see this coming."

Zeb barely had time to _see_ the projectile flash across the forward view port, let alone avoid striking it. The moment he made contact with it, a strong burst of electricity traveled throughout the _Phantom II_. It hurt. Somewhere in his mind, he was aware that he was in pain, but the thing his attention settled most painfully on was the sound of Arkalia's helpless cries of pain.

He couldn't say if the current actually knocked him out, but when he was able to summon enough focus to get a feel for his surroundings, his eyes went first to the kit, hanging limply in her carrier. For a moment, he was terrified it had been too much for her, but then he managed to make out the rise and fall of her chest through the safety restraints.

 _Ashla praise._

The _Phantom II_ hadn't stopped dead after the charge, but it had slowed. Slowed just enough that Zeb felt the moment a tractor beam grabbed hold of it.

 _Come on! Get up! Move! You_ _ **have to get up!**_ _You can't just sit here and do_ _ **nothing!**_

But his body just wouldn't obey him. And before long, he found himself facing down the icy eyes of Giren Kuross.

"Well, would ya look at that," the bounty hunter started in a condescending tone. "Caught me a nice _big_ one in my net," he said, lifting a hand to run it threateningly along the Lasat's neck.

Zeb attempted to coordinate himself enough to bite that accursed hand, but he just couldn't make his brain and jaw work together. He was little better than helpless.

"And what do we have here?" the human continued, focus shifting away. "Such a pretty li'l loth kitten, this one. She'll make someone a _very_ nice pet."

That did it. Summoning up every last ounce of strength he had, he snapped the restraints holding him down and went straight for Kuross' throat. Unfortunately, he didn't get very far before the human was coming at him with a vibro shiv. All it took was several well-placed cuts and a hard blow to his head with the handle of the shiv.

 _No...no...karabast...no!_ _ **Not like this!**_

But there was nothing he could do. Before he'd even hit the floor, Zeb was out cold.

XxX

"Raby, talk to me," Reith groaned as she paced the corridor outside the _Ghost's_ bridge, an anxious Ash beginning to tear up in her arms. "We need _something_."

"Believe me, Reith, I'm doing everything I can. I don't know _what_ he's doing to track this ship."

 _We have to come up with_ _ **something**_ _,_ the former guardswoman thought as she rocked her daughter. _If we can't get away from here, it will mean what Zeb did was useless...that he might be suffering for nothing. I can't let that happen._

"Kuross could be back any minute. We can't be here when he does come."

"Maybe if we could-"

Kar's suggestion was cut off by the arrival of yet another ship from hyperspace. For a moment, Reith's heart stopped, but when she saw that it was in fact another unknown ship and not Kuross coming back, it started up again.

"No idea who _this_ is now, but they're hailing us," Kar ground out.

"Well, put them through. We'll see what else is going on here," Reith said with a frustrated sigh.

"This is _Raada Knight_ calling the _Ghost_ ," a female voice was soon sounding over comms. "Looks to me like you all could use a hand."

" _Raada Knight_ , how do you know the identity of this freighter?" Reith returned, voice overlaid with barely concealed suspicion.

"Your lady friend and I are old pals, _Ghost_. I know her and the Spectres very well."

" _Who are you?_ " Reith pressed, patience wearing thin.

"My name is Ahsoka. But I think you might know the codename _Fulcrum_ a little better."

XxX

(A/N) Hwoo, all right. Things pick up enough for you? Definitely one of my better cliff hangers if I do say so myself. Hopefully I've given you enough to tide you over til the next update. We'll find out just what it is Thrawn's planning. In the meantime, I believe I've got a fair few translations for you. So here they are.

L'ashkerrir an, saman'aki - I love you, little sister

Syv san Alexsandr Kallus savtad Okorre Garazeb Orrelios. San sav an...ni ashkerra? - This is Alexsandr Kallus hailing Captain Garazeb Orrelios. Is that you...my love?

Na s'in, alitha - It's me, darling

S'in z'ashyn omeshat sananan jital. - It's so good to hear your voice again

La boga La sylf orror hasher afanalan jital - I feared I would never see your face again

S'in lira zera. S'lis lira zera. Tef inkir. Tef inkir, Ashvahn ni malmanahn - It's all right. We're all right. Just breathe, Moon of my sky

Z'ashyn. K- ko...ko sultir...an vuuser...sultat syv? - So good. H- how...how do...you want...to do this?

ashvyri...shan Ashla...arreh nalva - Stars...sweet Ashla...holy goddess

An unir **z'ashyn** zalv ni talima, La velka tef lithir'a an s'ahn rokali rika torril zalv syv teranal - You feel so good on my cock, I could just fuck your brains out right here on this bed.

Vosareln tumba - worthless slug

val gar an sova na sir nel Jan Tallahn - By the vow you made to me as a Guard of the Blood

Well, that should be all of them. Until next we meet, dear readers, adieu.


	18. Daddy, Can You Hear the Devil

(A/N) Hello once again, my lovelies! This, uh...yeah, this is a heavy chapter, but I'm pretty sure you're all aware of that by this point. I should probably take this opportunity to remind you that I have yet to not provide my characters with a happy ending. That being said, I can do little more than wish you good reading.

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 18: Daddy, Can You Hear the Devil Drawing Near?_

Zeb was pulled from the darkness of unconsciousness by a throbbing pain in his head.

Not just his head, actually, he realized as he became more and more aware. His entire body.

 _Muscle spasms_ , his brain supplied unhelpfully. _That's what happens when you get shocked._

Wait... _shocked?_

It took him several moments to force his eyes open against the pain in his head, but when he finally managed it, he was met by the sight of what looked to be some sort of brig. When he tried to move, he found that his hands were chained to an overhead pipe and his feet were hobbled to the floor by a heavy-duty looking set of binders. Probably some custom job of Kuross'.

 _Kuross_.

It was coming back to him now. The bounty hunter tracking them down. The chase. The device the human had used on the _Phantom II_. His last sight of the man's triumphant sneer. The terror that Arkalia hadn't survived.

"Kali...Lia!" he ground out desperately, struggling against his binders, fighting against the pain in his body as he searched the cell for his little girl.

Nothing. He was completely alone. There was no sign of her.

Going limp in his bindings, he shuddered, both in pain and in guilt.

"Kali...Kali...little squeak...my girl..." he whispered, eyes squeezing shut as he choked back a half-sob, "I'm so sorry."

He would've done better to leave her with Reith and the others. But there wasn't much use in lingering over that thought now. Not when he had to focus on getting them both out of this alive.

If she even _was_ still alive.

 _No!_ he snapped at himself. _Don't think like that. He **can't** kill her. She's worth too much._

Unfortunately, he didn't get much opportunity to think on escape, as the ominous quiet of the makeshift brig was soon interrupted by the sound of a door sliding open. Zeb looked up to see Kuross himself storming into the space.

"Kriffing kriff kriffwitted-" he grumbled to himself before delivering a hard kick to one of the pipes. "When I get ahold of those no good-"

"Heh. Heh-heh," Zeb started to chuckle beneath the bounty hunter's ragings, intent on annoying the human, even if the act of laughing actually pained him. "They got away...didn't they."

"Not for long," Kuross snarled back, glowering at him. "They can't hide forever. I'll find 'em eventually."

"The little one...what did you do to her?" Zeb demanded as best he could. He _had_ to know she was all right.

Kuross sneered as he came up to him. "Bet you'd like to know. Just swoop right in and snatch my prize away from me. Not that you'll be doin' much swoopin' in the little time you've got left."

Zeb growled at the human, fangs bared in threat. "Kuross, I swear, if _anythin_ ' happens to that kit-"

"You'll what? _Kill_ me?" the bounty hunter snapped. "You'd kill me whether or _not_ anything happened to that rodent. _Animals_. The lot of ya!"

"Not just me," Zeb reminded him, not even acknowledging the animal comment. After all, it was quite plain to _him_ who the animal in this room was. "You're forgettin' two Jedi, a captain, a Mandalorian, a clone captain, a murder bot, a rebel spy, and basically the entire rebel movement. They'd be gunnin' for you, too."

"Heh, sure. We'll see how good your rebel riffraff are against _my_ clients. After all, it ain't just myself I'm huntin' for this time, much as I'd just _love_ to lay into that sleek fur a' yours," the human said as he slipped a vibro-shiv from his belt, holding it dangerously close to Zeb's throat as he leered at him.

Shuddering inwardly in disgust, he growled at the bounty hunter, risking a nick from the vibrating weapon to try and bite the hand that held it. Unfortunately, he was still too dazed from the shock and what had likely been a lengthy beating even _after_ he'd lost consciousness. He wasn't fast enough. Kuross just laughed as he withdrew his hand. "Though...I guess your skin might not be worth the effort it'd take to get it off ya. Complete bust as far as collector's value goes, scarred and damaged as it is."

"Well, 'scuse me for bein' a proper Lasat," he snarled, making a hard, if ineffectual, struggle against his bonds.

"Oh, I didn't say it had no _value_ ," Kuross continued as he moved away from him. "Just 'cuz I can't turn a profit doesn't mean it's worthless. Got a bit of a _thing_ for Lasat fur myself."

"Yeah, I _know_ ," he spat out, suppressing a fresh shudder. "Kinda hard to forget the _monster_ what walks around with the skin of your people sewn into his clothing."

"Really, you should feel _honored_ , Garazeb Orrelios," the bounty hunter said as he dug through a storage locker at the side of the space. "To be a part of _my_ collection-"

"Forgive me if I'm not exactly _tickled_ by the thought of havin' my skin ripped off for some _human's_ fetish purposes," Zeb interrupted him. He neither needed nor wanted to hear more of this. Unsurprisingly, though, Kuross was not merciful.

"Guess I can't blame you for that one, but at the end of the day, it looks like you're still the one in chains while I'm the one with the keys," the human said, finally coming up with what it was he'd been searching for – a carefully folded Lasat pelt. And while Zeb struggled to keep back his sudden nausea and fear, Kuross stalked slowly back toward him, a gloating, possessive look of naked _hunger_ twisting his already unpleasant features as he continued. "A Lasat mercenary came to kill me one time. Son of a bitch was the toughest kill I ever made. Just about got the drop on me. You were right up there with him. Ya put up a damn good fight. Almost got away. So you'll have a place right next to him."

As the bounty hunter spoke he came right up against Zeb, actually pressing into him a little as he brought the striped pelt to his face, rubbing the fur along his cheek. It wasn't much, but his more-than-human senses could detect the faintest twinge of true Lasat scent clinging to the long dead pelt.

It was so disgusting.

 _Monstrous_.

Zeb couldn't keep the shudder back this time, and the unintended movement of his own body against Kuross' elicited a shiver of _excitement_ from the human. For a moment, his mind wasn't present on the bounty hunter's ship. For a moment...he was systems away and years in the past...before Alex and Kali...before Kanan and Hera, even...back under the _tender mercy_ of slavers on Morverin III...his body not his own...forced to fight...forced to _fuck_...for the amusement of others. He very nearly panicked when his captor moved the fur dangerously close to the nerve point in his neck.

He was so intent on trying to hold back his own revulsion, his own _terror_ , he almost didn't hear Kuross' next words.

"Now...just imagine the kind of return I could get on the unblemished pelt of a _kit_."

It was impossible _not_ to hear a threat like that. All of Zeb's concern for himself instantly evaporated and an incensed _roar_ tore from his throat as he threw himself at Kuross, straining with all his might against the bonds that held him.

" _You wouldn't! YOU WOULDN'T!_ " he screamed in rage, fighting with everything he had to break free, to get his hands around the human's fragile throat. " _SHE'S A **CHILD!**_ "

Ultimately, though, the binders held, the lascivious _fire_ in Kuross' eyes only flickering brighter as he looked at him. Although he did take at least one wary step back.

"Well, that _would_ be the point, wouldn't it?" he asked with a sneer, but his look of self-satisfied craving soon took on a more disappointed air. "But sadly, in this case, you're right. Your kit's life ain't mine to take. My contract with the Empire does specify a need for the two of ya to be alive when I bring ya in, and I sure as kriff ain't gonna be the one to cross _them_."

Upon hearing this, all of the fight drained out of Zeb. "The Empire?" he whispered in despair, his body finally falling limp in his bonds.

"The same. Don't ask me why, but this Thrawn character specifically wanted you'n the kit, so he got the best in the business to track ya down. Not sure what's gonna happen to the kit, but _you_ go to me as a finder's fee when he's done with ya. So while we wait to rendezvous with the _Chimaera_ , you two are gonna sit tight while I figure out just where those friends a' yours disappeared to. Might take me awhile, but I'll find those Lasat eventually. And then, once that blue bastard's done whatever it is he needs to do with ya, you'n me...we're gonna have one _helluva_ time," he said, coming toward Zeb once more. With the ugliest leer of all, he reached a hand forward and twisted his fingers deep into the nerve point, drawing an immediate hiss and physical response from the Lasat. He couldn't help but respond physically to the stimulation but, at a conscious level, he barely noticed it. He didn't see the disgusting look of lust in the human's eyes as he backed out of the brig, leaving him alone with his thoughts. And those thoughts were fixed unerringly on what the bounty hunter had just let slip.

Thrawn.

It was Thrawn specifically who wanted him and Arkalia, which meant that this wasn't just some random Imperial sting. Who could say how, but Thrawn _knew_. Somehow he had found out about him and Alex. And now he was going to use him and their daughter as bait to lure Alex into some kind of trap.

And he had _let_ Alex go back. Would things be different now if he hadn't? If he'd simply thought 'kriff it' and decided it was time for them to just run away together? There was no knowing either way.

 _Alex...Kali...guys...I'm so sorry. I **let** this happen._

For it wasn't just their little family in danger now if he and Arkalia were to be used against Alex.

No.

If Thrawn meant to use them to...to _break_ Fulcrum...then it could very well be the existence of the Rebellion itself that was in danger.

He had to _do_ something. But what?

XxX

Just because Kallus knew he was walking straight into a trap didn't mean he had to be an idiot about it.

He logged no less than three separate dock times with Capital City port control, plus a departure time just to muddy the waters. He also logged a dock time with the _Veritas_ to confuse things further. He had purposefully given Thrawn a later time than he actually anticipated, which he fully expected the Chiss to see through, though who could say by how much? He was, at the very least, relieved to learn that the _Chimaera_ had not yet arrived in Lothal space when he made planetfall, little as that meant. His adversary was just as capable of deception as he was, after all.

He had begun his final task inflight from his rendezvous with Zeb. He knew he would've done better to complete this mission directly at the heart of the Imperial Security Bureau, at central headquarters back on Coruscant, but he also knew there was no way he could risk the journey back to the Core. Not with any reasonable chance of survival. He would simply have to do his best from here and pray it was enough.

 _Praying?_ he thought to himself as he worked. _How precious._

The first thing he'd needed to do was design a virus, a deadly concoction of programming that only one who understood ISB's internal network as well as he did could've possibly come up with. Immodesty perhaps, but he doubted most of his fellow agents could create a program that so seamlessly wove through near endless streams of data to target one specific piece of information. His virus would move through the ISB central data network and replace existing maps of the Yavin system with a map of his own design – one that was minus a single moon.

By its very nature, the ISB central data network was connected to all others within the Empire in some fashion. With every interaction, every exchange of data between systems, his tiny alteration would spread, spread until there wasn't a single reference to Yavin IV anywhere in the Empire. At least, not to the little moon that actually bore the designation. That distinction would belong to the current Yavin V in the future.

The only issue was that he couldn't upload a program of such scope from a shuttle's computer. It would have to be done from a console with a proper system-network exchange linkup. The only system that would serve his purpose was the central terminal within the Dome in Capital City. So that was his destination once he'd laid his misleading trail within the log system.

He had no need to return to the _Veritas_ once his task was complete. Everything in the galaxy that could truly be called his he had with him – the corder sphere round his neck and the bo-rifle at his back. Once all was done, he could leave from here.

 _Leave_.

Though, that fleeting thought was contingent upon not getting caught up in Thrawn's web. He tried not to think too much on it as he moved through the corridors of the Dome. At this point, whatever would happen would happen. There was little point in worrying about it until the moment actually arrived.

Gaining access to the central terminal was hardly difficult. A few codes and officious-sounding explanations and he was soon hard at work at an empty station, uploading his final gift to the Empire, protecting the rebellion he had once worked so tirelessly to destroy – protecting his _family_.

What he almost didn't notice until it was too late was how deathly silent the command center had fallen. He didn't notice until he was watching the upload finish and a cold voice was suddenly cutting through that unnatural silence, directly behind him.

"By the light of Lothal's moons."

A jolt of pure terror shot directly down his spine as he spun around to see Thrawn standing hardly half a meter from him, red eyes glowing brightly in satisfaction as he continued.

"That is your code phrase, isn't it, Agent Kallus? Or...would you prefer I address you as _Fulcrum?_ "

Deciding he would rather die on his feet if it came to that, Kallus straightened before the Chiss, glaring at him through narrowed eyes.

"You didn't _have_ to give yourself away," he pointed out, surreptitiously casting his attention about the space to realize that while he had been working, it had quietly emptied out, leaving just himself and Thrawn in the room. "You could've left me ignorant until the last moment, had me in your snare without my ever wising up to you. So why didn't you?" he asked. There was little point now in pretenses.

"I suppose one might call it...curiosity," the grand admiral responded after a moment of thought. "I wanted to know what sort of man you were, at the utmost end of hope. I was...disappointed- to say the least, to learn of your betrayal, Kallus, so I wanted to know if my trust in you had been as grossly misplaced as outward appearance would suggest. Would you prove to be a coward, running at the first sign of trouble? Or...if even the faintest glimmer of possibility that you would be able to aid your rebel friends presented itself, would you take it? I know the answer now. You had your chance to flee, and yet here you stand, prepared to give the last full measure of your devotion to your cause. You are a true warrior, Alexsandr Kallus, and a human of uncommon intelligence. I have known few like you in my time with the Empire. It is- _truly_ a tragedy that such talent has been turned so completely from the way of reason."

" _Reason?_ " Kallus spat the word out like a bite of rotten fruit. He was not about to have _Thrawn_ of all beings spout Imperial rhetoric at him. "Is it _reason_ to slaughter races of peaceful people? Or to drain whole systems of their resources for shadowy projects that can lead to nothing but more death? Is it _reason_ to chain living beings and breed them like animals?! To tear children from their mothers' arms and turn them back upon them as living weapons? Is it _reason_ to enslave free people beneath a yoke of fear while the rest live in tightly controlled ignorance?!" he demanded, the brutalized child that still held the innermost part of his heart crying, _screaming_ out for justice – justice he had been deceived into believing he was capable of bringing.

"This famous _freedom_ of yours, Kallus, it had its chance, did it not? Your Galactic Republic. What was the result?" the Chiss asked him, raising a single eyebrow with the question. "The Clone Wars. A hopelessly convoluted system of government that allowed for the rise of men like your father...like the _Emperor_. You would return this galaxy to _that?_ "

"No," Kallus argued, mind barely catching on to what it was the grand admiral might've implied about his loyalties. "It isn't about- going back to what was. It's about finding a better way."

"This _is_ a better way," Thrawn insisted, eyes briefly glowing brighter. "Many decisions that have so far been made have been- regrettable, I grant," he said with a minute wince, but the look he fixed Kallus with after was doubly resolved for the slip, "but this is better than what was. Better than what could possibly be. But I suppose I can forgive you your near-sightedness. After all, you have not seen the things I have."

"Forgi-" Kallus started indignantly. "No. I have done no more than I know I _must_. If _this_ is reason, _Sir_ , I will _gladly_ take madness."

"If that is your decision, then so be it. As your _father's_ people would've had it, your fate is your own," his former higher up said to him with the slightest of sneers. "And you _will_ assist in the capture of your rebel friends, whether or not that is your desire."

"You really will have to kill me first," Kallus warned him, fingers twitching, resisting the urge to reach for his bo-rifle. It wouldn't do much good in such close quarters when Thrawn had him practically pinned against the console. "Because, if you'll forgive me the cliche, I will _die_ before I betray them."

"I believe you. But I am also inclined to wonder if the sentiment was not once the same for the Empire."

"Never," he responded quietly. Perhaps the Empire liked its cogs to spout such ideals, but was it something he'd ever truly _felt?_ No. "I found something more. Something I could never see from inside this war machine. And it matters more to me than life itself."

"Your conviction is indeed that strong?" Thrawn asked him, looking into his eyes as he took a step back from him. " _Show me_."

Faster than the blink of an eye, an extending electro staff was in the Chiss' hands. The step back had been barely enough warning Thrawn meant to engage him. It was only years of training with the weapon that allowed him to deploy his bo-rifle in time to block his first strike. As the two weapons clashed, he was only vaguely aware of the ends of his staff electrifying. Mostly his focus was consumed by the intensity in his enemy's gaze. It wasn't- hunger...not quite. But with Thrawn, he supposed it was as close as he came.

Rather than attempt to maintain the deadlock in a typical display of posturing, he allowed Thrawn to force him back against the console. Bracing himself against the stable surface, he lifted his feet from the floor and kicked the Chiss away from him. Gaze flicking to the terminal to make sure the upload really had completed, he buried his bo-rifle in the computer interface, thoroughly concealing the last of his tracks. He pulled the weapon free in barely enough time to duck away from Thrawn's next strike.

"A last theft for your rebel compatriots?" the Chiss asked him as they began to circle one another, the computer bank between them.

"Perhaps," he returned. He was _not_ going to be giving Thrawn leads to follow this time.

"Then you may rest assured that you did not enter the snare in vain," his opponent informed him. "I was well aware of the imminent attack of your rebel fleet."

He _knew?_ Thrawn _knew?_ How? No. Didn't matter. The only thing that mattered was getting that information to Phoenix Cell, no matter what it took.

"That knowledge will matter little to you now, however. You will not live to relay it," the grand admiral said, not by way of threat, but mere statement of fact. "The only purpose you shall serve now is to become the seed of their destruction. You _are_ going to lead me to them, Kallus, and you will do so _willingly_."

" _Never_ ," Kallus repeated on a hiss, glaring at the Chiss through narrowed eyes, poised for the next attack as they continued to circle each other.

"You will see," Thrawn said, his little satisfied smile unnerving as he took several steps back. Then, with a brief running start, he used his staff to actually vault over the computer bank, landing barely a meter away from the rebel agent.

Kallus snarled as he met the admiral's latest blow, a vicious sound that would've done his lover proud. For several minutes, they moved back and forth across the command center, each traded blow more furious than the last.

"If you think- you have _anything_ that will convince me to betray them...you are delusional," Kallus snapped at him, blocking a quick succession of blows from his adversary. Physically, Thrawn was unquestionably stronger than he was, but he had just that little bit more experience in practical staff fighting that had made the fight even thus far.

Thrawn shook his head as he avoided an attempted stab from the double agent. "And if I were a crueler being, I might actually have to laugh at your ignorance. What you do _not know_ about this scene you and I currently act would fill many of these databanks."

Seething in frustration, the ex-Imperial (stars, but it felt good just to be able to even _think_ it) bit out, "You _talk too much!_ "

For several tense moments, they traded blow for blow and block for block, until Thrawn got in just a hairsbreadth faster beneath one of Kallus' blows, delivering a painful electric current throughout his body.

The ex-Imperial cried out in pain, but his jerked reflex allowed him to deliver a hit to the Chiss' forehead, giving him the chance to roll away from his opponent unseen and duck behind one of the computer banks, collapsing his bo-rifle in the process.

"Kallus!" Thrawn called out in a brief flicker of annoyance.

As he listened to the grand admiral search for him, Kallus took stock of his injuries. While the shock had largely dulled the pain in his left side, the loss of feeling would also cost him the proper use of his left arm. He couldn't keep this up forever. Maybe he could find a way to slip out of the control center unnoticed?

"You cannot hide forever, Kallus," Thrawn warned him.

Part of the ex-agent wanted to laugh in response. Did Thrawn truly believe he could be baited so easily? He was getting out of here right n-

"I wonder what your- _Lasat_ companion would think of you now. Hiding like a _coward_."

Zeb? Why would Thrawn bring him up _now?_ What gave him the right to even speak of him?

"Although...I rather suppose Captain Garazeb Orrelios has lost any sense of his people's pride or honor, living as an insurgent."

Kallus tensed in a sudden flare of anger at the Chiss' words.

 _Don't listen. Don't listen to him._

"Perhaps that is why the pair of you make such a well-suited couple. No honor. Tell me, Kallus, what does a Lasat with no honor _taste_ of?" Thrawn's words pierced his ears like precision laser darts.

It took every last ounce of Kallus' considerable restraint not to gasp aloud in shock. He knew. Those words could mean only one thing. He _knew!_ How could he know? _How?!_

"Are you surprised I know?" Thrawn's eerily soft voice came to him. "You shouldn't be. You haven't exactly been subtle. I have seen the look in your eyes...after he has _kissed you_."

Kallus felt his stomach lurch with abject terror. If he knew this, what else could he know?

"Your fellow humans would think it perverse. Is _that_ what turned you from us, Agent Kallus? The idea of such a very _illicit_ dalliance? You may speak of it to _me_ , after all. Tell me, has he had you on your _back_ yet?"

 _It's not like that! It's **not!** How dare you? How dare you dishonor my love so **shamefully?!**_

 _Kallus, you **mustn't listen!**_

"Or perhaps you were merely chasing a fantasy? Did you believe that a kiss from a Lasat could erase your sins against them? That you could wipe out your past? Did you believe you could be f _orgiven?_ "

 _Stop it. Stop it! **Stop it!**_

 _You have to get out. GET OUT NOW!_

"The truth is, Kallus...that there _is_ no forgiveness for men like us. But a warrior does not seek to be forgiven. Only to do what is necessary. Although...I am quite certain you will feel it _necessary_ to beg for _forgiveness_ for what happens to your Zeb."

 _Oh, stars._

"That's right," Thrawn's voice slithered into his brain like some venomous living _creature_ , sinking its fangs into the grey matter and pumping the horror of those words into every cell like poison. "Your lover is _mine_. Garazeb, son of Orrelios is in _my hands_ now. To spare or to condemn as I see fit. By extension, his life is in _your_ hands. How long will you keep your silence?"

 _No_.

 _Please...please...just go...get out. You can't help him like this._

He was gripping his bo-rifle in painfully tight fingers, clutching so hard he likely would've been rending the metal had he been anything other than human. Looking down at the weapon, he saw tiny droplets of water splashed along its casing. Fingers trembling, he brought them up to wipe at the tracks he now felt on his face.

Crying? He was... _crying?_

 _Rever falna bogtyl. Rever falna bogtyl!_

 _Please...please don't make me do this. You cannot make me choose! Not this! **Anything** but this!_

"How long, Alexsandr Kallus? How long will you endure his suffering and _know_ you have the power to stop it? _How long_ will you listen to your love cry out? Scream your name? Beg for death? If _you_ cannot be persuaded to surrender the location of your precious rebel base, then perhaps he _can_ be-"

" _NOOOO!_ "

The scream that tore from Kallus' throat as he leapt from his hiding place was a sound less than human. He took a shot at the Chiss as he sprang at him, but Thrawn was easily able to avoid it. The smile that moved across the grand admiral's face as he redeployed his bo-rifle to engage him could only be described as victorious.

He would wipe that smile clean away.

Kallus went after Thrawn with every last bit of rage and pain that was in him. Everything in his life...

 _...you are nothing to me. You **are** nothing..._

 _...it's been an honor, Sir..._

 _...because I may go in peace. But you...you will have to live with yourself..._

 _...can you do it? Can you give them what they need? Even though it will **break** you..._

 _...tell them, Kallus! It's **her! She's** the one! **KALLUS!**..._

...all of it culminating in this moment that Thrawn tried to take from him the one good thing he still had. A sense of ugly satisfaction bloomed in his mind when he saw the Chiss begin to give beneath his blows...when the certainty in his eyes briefly flickered into doubt.

 _You won't win this. I won't **let** you. I **won't** let you harm him! I WON'T!_

His last drive of fury allowed him to actually break the electro staff between his opponent's hands, the weaker metal ultimately nothing against the Lasat-made weapon. But just as he was thrusting forward to make a fatal stab, he saw the calm smile return to Thrawn's face. At the last possible moment, he sidestepped Kallus' attack, allowing him the perfect bit of space to level a devastating punch to the ex-Imperial's head, and sending him flying across the room.

He didn't stop until his body struck one of the computer banks, the surface giving only slightly beneath the force of the blow. Kallus crumpled to the floor with a tiny cry of pain, his vision swimming and his body in agony. He heard the heavy tread of armored boots rushing toward him and he tried to reach for his fallen bo-rifle, but it was just no good.

Then he was being seized, forced back against the computer bank by death troopers while Thrawn came to stand over him, his expression somehow a combination of respect and mockery.

"You have the heart of a rebel," he said coolly.

"I'll take that as a compliment," he spat back.

Thrawn shook his head. "You fought well, but your efforts were always doomed to failure. Know that I am truly sorry for what must now be done, but you bring it upon yourself."

"Where is he?" Kallus demanded, struggling futilely against the hold on him. "What have you done with him?" Never once had it occurred to him to wonder if the Chiss might be lying. It wouldn't have been beyond him to run such a bluff, after all. And yet...Kallus knew he wasn't. He couldn't explain it. He just _knew_.

"You are in no position to be making demands," Thrawn pointed out. "You will see your lover when we leave here. The first step, it seems to me, is to discern whether the information I require may be procured without force. If not, well...we will just have to go from there." As he spoke, the grand admiral reached down to undo the catches of his cuirass. Kallus continued to struggle to no avail.

Once the armor was gone, the Chiss proceeded to carefully pull open his uniform jacket, reaching inside.

"What- what are you-"

But his confusion fell away when the cool, blue fingers reached even beneath his undershirt, brushing against his sweat-slicked skin as they took hold of the chain that held his corder pendant.

"No!" he started to protest, struggling all the harder. "You can't- that's private."

"And you should be grateful that, should it prove inconsequential, I have no intention of entering it into evidence," Thrawn informed him as he worked to break the code lock on the little device, having fairly little trouble with it. "I have little wish to pry into your private matters, save where they concern the security of this Empire."

The pendant moved quickly through the commemorative images of his unit: Gad, Reeve, Alain, Klaidi, and Alita. But with a little more of Thrawn's manipulations, its true contents began to shimmer through. The images Sabine and the others had captured on Alluvium. His first true moments of happiness in so long...the first moment he'd felt he might actually have a family again. Even after only a few months, Arkalia had already grown so much.

 _My girl...oh, my dear heart,_ he thought as he watched the holo images dance by, feeling joy in them even in the horror of the moment. _You're the most beautiful child there ever was._

Thrawn scrolled through every image, but apart from the ones taken on Alluvium, the others gave no indication as to where they had been captured. Each shot had been carefully framed to feature only the interior of the _Ghost_ or the inside of a hastily constructed base. The place could have been on any of a thousand Outer Rim worlds. Kallus couldn't help his small laugh when Thrawn gave a small hiss of frustration.

"Did you think it would be that simple?" he mocked. "That they would pass such damning evidence to me when I was still so deep in enemy territory? The rebels are smarter than you give them credit for."

"Perhaps," Thrawn began, looking up at him with new interest as he allowed the holos to continue their endless scroll. His look turned devious as he surveyed Kallus, drawing both their gazes down to the pendant. "So this is the child I've heard so much about. Such a lot of trouble over one parentless child. Tell me, Kallus, do you know her true identity?"

Rather than give a straight answer, Kallus let his gaze fall to the latest holo, an image of Lia climbing up Chopper and flopping awkwardly across his dome, nodding slowly as he looked. "I know who her parents were."

"The last princess of Lasan. This child would be of great value to many within the Empire."

"I imagine she would. But you would have to _find her_ first," Kallus ground out, turning a defiant glare up to the grand admiral. If nothing else, he could be grateful Zeb had already taken their Lia to safety.

Thrawn's eyebrow rose as he looked at him. Stopping the loop at an image of Zeb nuzzling his forehead against Arkalia's while she gripped at his facial hair, the Chiss pulled his comlink out.

"Governor Pryce, signal the _Demon's Run_. I believe we will have something of theirs before too long. And our prisoner is aboard the _Chimaera_ now, is he not?"

"He is," Pryce's voice came through the comm. "Not a very well-behaved rebel, but then, what rebel is?"

"I believe our wayward agent would like to hear from his companion, if you would be so kind."

Kallus heard a sound heavy with annoyance before another sound replaced it – the agonizingly familiar sound of a Lasat roar of pain.

"Talk to him, big boy," another painfully familiar voice sounded through the device in Thrawn's hand. "He wants to hear your voice. Talk to your lover boy. Might be the last chance you ever get."

"Kriffin' bug-eyed sleemo," Zeb's snarl came through, at once comfort and torture to the ex-Imperial. " _Alex, or'sultir omsher sir luan._ I'll be okay, but they- _an or'velkir-_ " His words were cut off by a fresh cry of pain.

" _ZEB!_ " he couldn't stop himself crying out before the connection was cut. Thrawn stared at him a moment across the holo image before shutting it off, squeezing the fragile thing threateningly just before he pocketed it.

Feeling a part of himself crumble and die with the loss of the pendant, Kallus let out an enraged cry that would've done any Lasat proud. Throwing himself against the hold of his two captors one last time, he left Thrawn with little choice but to deliver another hard punch to his face, leaving him near senseless on the floor. Dropping to one knee beside him, Thrawn leaned down close to deliver his next words directly into Kallus' ear.

"Tell me, Kallus, do you know _this_ of your Sallah? 'With its wing snatched away, who does this one-winged bird call out to in its final moment?'"

Kallus barely had any thought left to him, but he did recognize the line – the lament of a bystander on the street for a senator being led to her execution.

How could he have failed so completely? His last thoughts before losing his hold on consciousness altogether were to Zeb.

 _Ni Tinsana...forgive me. I did this. I'll do what I have to now...whatever it takes to save your life...my Zeb...my Zeb...my love..._

XxX

The Ghost reentered Atollon's atmosphere much sooner than Hera had expected, but it was a surprise she could at least take some pleasure in after Ezra and Chopper's recent Tatooine escapade. She and Kanan were ready to greet their friend with a comforting hug when the ramp lowered, but were soon faced with a less pleasant surprise. Three of them, in fact.

Their ship's three occupants _were_ Lasat, but none of them were the Lasat they had been expecting. Kar, Tiri, and Jorrah all came down the ramp with similar looks of worry on their faces.

"Tiri? Kar? Jorrah?" Hera started, looking between all of them with growing uncertainty. "What happened? Where's Zeb?"

"Hera, we're so sorry," Jorrah immediately started in. "He tracked us. There was some kind of program."

"We had no warning. He came out of nowhere," Tiri said.

" _Who_ came out of nowhere?" Hera pressed them.

"Kuross," Kanan whispered in horror before any of them could respond. "He's got Zeb...Zeb and Ari _both_."

" _Ari?_ " Hera repeated in mirrored horror. "But..."

"He changed his mind," Kar supplied. "Before Kuross found us. Zeb couldn't- give her up. He took her with him when he tried to draw Kuross off."

Hera swallowed heavily, a small spark of relief lighting within her despite the new wave of fear and worry rising around it. Of _course_ Zeb couldn't give the kit up. She was _his_. His and Alex's. They had all seen it. All except the two of them. Why did this have to happen _now?_

Reining in her troubled thoughts, Hera brought her focus back to the moment. There was no place for the concerned friend and mother in this crisis. If there was to be any hope of bringing them back alive, she needed a cool head on her shoulders.

"How did he track you? Were you followed here? What about the rest of your people?" she began to fire off questions.

"It was some sort of tracer algorithm. For it to happen now...it could've only infected the _Ghost's_ nav system when Zeb went to meet with Fulcrum, when their ships' computers docked with each other. It must've come from his ship," Jorrah explained. "We had to make sure it was swept from all the other systems before we could complete the journey to Lira San."

"But...how would Kuross even _know_ to track Alex? Unless..." she started, the pieces slowly starting to fall into place in her mind, "they _know_. The Empire _knows_ he's Fulcrum. They knew he would have to make contact with us eventually."

"It's worse than that," Kanan said, some sort of light coming on in his mind as Hera watched him put even more pieces than she'd been aware of together. "It isn't just Fulcrum's identity they know. They know about Zeb and Kallus...what they are to each other."

"How could they know? How do _you_ know?"

"I saw it... _months_ ago. One of the first visions I had after Kallus brought Ari to us. I had no context for where or when. I just saw that the Empire might someday hire Kuross to capture Zeb and Ari for them. And it was Thrawn specifically. _He_ wanted them. I don't know how he found out, but the only reason he could possibly want the two of them, or even know that Kallus could lead Giren Kuross right to them, is because he _knows_ how important they are to each other. He's going to use Zeb and Ari against Kallus...as a punishment for his betrayal."

"Thrawn," the Twi'lek hissed under her breath. Only he could conceive a strategy so calculated and so ruthless. She didn't yet know how, but she was going to see that the Chiss _payed_ for all he was doing to her family. Before a second thought could be wasted, she was heading back in the direction of the command center. "We've got to get a message to Alex. We've got to warn him."

"We may already be too late," Kanan pointed out as he fell into step beside her along with the three Lasat. "Kallus would've gone straight from the meetup with Zeb to carry out his last mission."

"Still, we've got to try. We owe him that."

"And if it _is_ too late?" Kar asked them.

"Then we need to let Sato and Dodonna know what's happening. We'll need to prepare for evacuation. If Alex is able to get away, we'll be able to come up with a plan for rescuing Zeb and Lia, but...if he isn't...if the Empire has them _all_..."

"They'll be able to get our location from one of them," Kanan said aloud what she was thinking. "Either on their own could withstand torture, but...to have to watch the other suffer...maybe even- to have to watch _Ari_ suffer...one of them will break."

"And when that happens, we need to be ready," Hera said with a firm nod as she marched forward. She didn't _want_ to think they might already be too late. She couldn't _bear_ to think of her family suffering. But she had to be prepared for it just the same.

If Phoenix Cell and the Massassi Group were _both_ caught in Thrawn's snare today, the existence of the Rebel Alliance itself could be in jeopardy. They couldn't go down without a fight. They just _couldn't._

 _Be strong, all of you. We'll find a way to save you, but we have to save ourselves first._

XxX

Kallus was barely managing to keep his feet as he was marched onto the bridge of the _Chimaera_ , but he'd be damned if he was going to go before his former comrades on his knees. His head was still ringing from Thrawn's earlier blows and he was confident the Chiss had broken a few bones, but he could at least force himself to stay upright despite the pain.

This could have easily been done in a cell, but Kallus knew such a thing was much too merciful.

He was going to be made an example of.

He had been steeling himself from the moment he'd regained consciousness to bear whatever it was they had done to Zeb, but that didn't truly make it any easier to see. Nothing he had undergone at the academy, nothing he had experienced during his admittedly harrowing Imperial Security Bureau training could've really made him ready to handle the sight of his love, bound into a frame at the head of the bridge, clearly already having taken a severe beating. He was hanging limply in his bindings, his eyes closed and his breathing heavy, fur and skin streaked and matted with blood in several places. Kallus had to resist the urge to cry out his name when he beheld him. He knew what Thrawn and the others wanted from him. They wanted his torment; they wanted to see how much this destroyed him. Well, he wasn't going to give it to them. Not if he could help it. At this point, the only thing he still had control of was himself. He couldn't let them see how this tore at his heart. So he stood before the Lasat, hands bound and a guard on either side, not flinching from the sight of what had been done to him. Despite his outwardly indecipherable appearance, though, his thoughts were just as shattered.

 _Your fault. Your fault! **Your fault!** He's only here because of you!_

"I imagine you can gather what is meant to happen here," he heard Thrawn's voice somewhere behind him.

"I can guess," he said quietly, keeping his expression carefully blank, eyes fixed on Zeb.

"Then would you rather I began in a civilized fashion or shall we move straight into barbarity?" the grand admiral asked in his unfailingly even voice.

"You did that already when you dragged Garazeb into this," Kallus returned, still not acknowledging his enemy with even a look. "You and I have nothing more to say to one another."

"As you will, Kallus."

"Pretty sight, ain't he."

Head jerking to the side at the sound of the hated voice, Kallus saw what he'd been too intent to notice before.

Giren Kuross.

"Now, me personally, I prefer electricity," the bounty hunter said as he approached him, a stun baton in hand. "Doesn't damage the fur too much. But your boys wanted him _visibly_ roughed up. And me, I'm an obligin' sort of guy."

"I know what you are, Giren Kuross," he said, maintaining his composure, restraining the venom he wanted to pump into the words. "You're a monster."

"Says _you_ ," the human snapped with a leer that was part amusement and part anger as he began to circle Kallus and the two troopers. "I know who _you_ are, too, ya see. I know what they call ya. _Butcher_ ," he snarled with quiet relish, just behind the ex-Imperial now. Kallus couldn't stop the flinch that came at the word. "One a' the Butchers of Lasan. Read every single report they released to the public on that siege. You were a real inspiration back then, Agent Kallus."

 _...the horrific green flash of the disruptor beam..._

 _...wide eyes boiling in terror just before-_

 _...the little child's terrified scream..._

 ** _...I saw her burn...that child...I can still hear her screaming..._**

" _Stop it_ ," he hissed in anguish, barely managing to master himself as the bounty hunter came back around, only just managing to not cry out as the memories lashed through his mind. "I won't hear those words from _you_."

"Heh, not from me? Who else but me _gets it_ _,_ though? Wanting to kriff and kill 'em at the same time. Bet you know _all_ about that. Don't ya. Alexsandr Kallus," the hunter said, his expression lurid and _knowing_ as he leaned in close to Kallus, voice dropping to a whisper on his next words. "So does he _purr_ when he's got his _cock_ in you? 'Cuz I'd say I got that hyperdrive hummin' _real_ sweet."

For a moment, it didn't quite sink in. But as those words buried themselves in his brain, understanding slowly dawning at the implication of them, shock, horror, and molten _fury_ burst within his chest in equal measure.

 _Is he saying...did he..._

Kuross nodded as he watched the unspoken question move across his face, and to see him be so casual, so _cavalier_ about something so utterly and completely _abhorrent_...

...Kallus saw _red_.

His control shattered as a strangled cry tore from his throat. He wasn't even aware of making a choice to go for Kuross, but suddenly found himself in motion. He wasn't sure what he'd do with his hands bound, but there were ways and ways again to kill without lifting a finger. Before he could employ any of them to end this _creature_ , though, one of his guards delivered a harsh blow to the side of his head, nearly knocking him off his feet. The bounty hunter laughed as he doubled over, struggling to remain upright.

"Aww, protective little Imperial," Kuross mocked.

Kallus let the Imperial comment go. It wasn't important. Any harm they did to him was now meaningless when stood beside what had already been done to his Zeb...his **_Tinsana_**. But he would, if nothing else, make them understand just what sort of slumbering beast they'd awakened.

" _When_ I get out of here," he began, voice low as he met Kuross' gaze, "I am going to kill you myself. _Slowly_. With _every_ trick ISB has ever stored in its databanks. I will make you _suffer_ for what you've done to him," he vowed, the only promise he'd ever made more solemn than that his vows to Zeb and to Arekaya.

For a moment, just a moment, there was a flicker of uncertainty in his enemy's eyes. After all, the Imperial Security Bureau's reputation was hard-earned, widely known, and well deserved. No one could remain _completely_ unphased beneath the full weight of such a threat. But before too long, Kuross was sneering again, coming in close.

"First ya gotta get outta here."

"How did you find him?" Kallus demanded in an effort to regain his calm, to not have to think about what he'd just learned. If it was something he could stop...something he could turn his focus to...

Kuross glanced behind him, back at Thrawn, and apparently receiving some sort of go ahead, he leaned in close once more to whisper in his ear, "Got your own self to thank for that."

 _No...it **can't** be-_

" _What?_ "

"I had a tracin' algorithm locked in your shuttle's nav computer. When ya docked with our boy here, ya spread it to his. Led me right to him."

 _Oh, stars._

All of his plans, all of his scheming, all of his _hope_...it all went from his mind in an instant, lost to the churning pit of horror and despair that had opened up in his gut. It really _was_ his fault. Not just because of what Zeb was to him, but because he had literally handed him over to them without even realizing it!

 _It's **YOUR FAULT!**_ his heart screamed. _Your fault this **beast** got ahold of Zeb at all! Your fault Zeb was-_

" _No_ ," he exhaled in shock, unable to even allow himself to _think_ the word.

"Heheh. Bitch, ain't it," Kuross chuckled against him before pulling back, taking a moment to run the end of his baton along Kallus' throat. Then he stepped back over to Zeb, running the weapon along the Lasat's neck in a similar fashion. "Wake up, sleepy head. Somebody's here to see you."

Anyone who did not know Zeb wouldn't have seen the tiny flinch away from his tormentor. But Kallus _did_ know Zeb. He knew him and he knew the truths his body could tell even better than he knew some of his own. He _knew_ just what sort of _anguish_ must be contained in such a little motion for Zeb to even allow the reaction through to the surface.

"...Shove off," the former guardsman grunted beneath a low groan of pain, an almost dazed quality to the sound.

"Aw, don't be like that," the bounty hunter mocked. "After all, this really _will_ be your last chance to see him."

Weakly, Zeb managed to force his eyes open, and when Kallus saw the naked agony his lover couldn't quite manage to conceal in those eyes, his heart twisted with answered pain and anguish. The way his pupils wobbled told him that Kuross had likely drugged him in some way.

"Alex..." he said in a gentle voice as those dazed green eyes attempted to focus on him, no less luminous for the suffering they contained. " _Ni ashkerra...La'n z'oshyr...ni alitha...La zona-_ "

" _Orra...orra_ ," he tried to soothe him. " _An san **or'vilanat** , ni shan. La **sylf** kadjir an rika torrahn. Orra neshen ka'in nalliri. La garrir zalv ni zash_-"

Zeb shook his head, a shudder moving through his body with the motion. " _Ni Alex...Tinsana...luaheh kadja_ -"

Whatever Zeb had been trying to say was cut off when Kuross drove the suddenly electrified stun baton into his gut, drawing a fresh scream from the Lasat as the current passed through his body. And again, Kallus resisted the urge to cry out.

"Now, now. Let's not go spoilin' the blue admiral's fun," the bounty hunter scolded as he drew the baton back up, trailing it easily along the former guardsman's chest before suddenly reactivating it, digging it harshly into him.

"I have read that Lasat warriors were once trained to bear unspeakable pain," Thrawn's voice was suddenly at his ear, right beside him. "Perhaps we will learn the truth of this today."

Standing tall even in his bonds, Kallus glared at the Chiss' words, eyes remaining fixed on the sight before him. "Garazeb Orrelios has already taken the worst the Empire has to offer and survived. You will not break him," he said with total conviction, even as he watched his beloved scream and snarl in pain.

"The worst, Kallus? I believe we both know that is not _quite_ true," the grand admiral said, voice even more sinister than Kallus had thought it capable of becoming as he placed a hand on his shoulder, not quite squeezing, but certainly threatening. "After all, he still has _you_ , and he claims you as Bondmate, does he not? As _Tinsana?_ The lore of the Lasat people claims that the breaking of such a bond...that therein lies the route to _madness_."

Kallus shuddered faintly beneath the Chiss' grip, but the threat only served to strengthen his resolve. This could only get worse; he had little doubt. While he was going to do everything in his power to get Zeb out of here alive, he was fairly certain that was going to remove him from the picture. He was not going to beg for either of their lives and he was not going to betray what they both believed in for this. It was just as well Thrawn learn _now_ what he was up against.

"So _break it_ ," he challenged in a quiet voice. "Break it if you think you can. Kill me. Kill him. Do whatever it is your _honor_ demands you must. It does not matter. Even if you kill these bodies, you can never hope to destroy what we truly are. Nothing you do will ever _touch_ what the two of us are together. _That_ is what the Bond truly means, and breaking it is a victory you will _never_ claim, _Grand Admiral_ ," he flung the words in his enemy's face, his own defiant but resolute. His next words were for Zeb and Zeb alone. " _Nel li lis sylf rever falna bogtyl._ "

 _Together as one we will hold back the darkness._

Zeb was in pain, _so much_ pain, but the love Kallus had given voice to was reflected in his eyes. Neither needed to say anything. Any declaration they could've made was already there.

Even so...even so, there was a look of fear beneath that resolve, like Zeb was trying to tell him something without saying it. What was he missing?

"A pretty speech, Kallus," Thrawn said in response, drawing his attention away from his partner. The Chiss' expression was largely the same look of vague interest he typically wore, but beneath it, Kallus could detect the faintest hint of something else. Anger? Mere annoyance? Whatever it was, he had ruffled the man's feathers by suggesting there was _any_ sort of battle he couldn't win. "Words worthy of Sallah herself. Perhaps you _can_ bear to watch him suffer. But everyone has their breaking point. We will learn what yours is quite soon," he said before nodding once at Kuross.

The bounty hunter offered up a smirk before activating some setting on the frame Zeb was bound into. Almost immediately, visible currents of electricity began to travel up and down the Lasat's body. Long past a point where he could conceal his agony, his powerful body contorted against the force of the current as he _screamed_. And as always, Kallus knew that if he made it off this Star Destroyer alive, the sound of his lover screaming would echo forever in his ears.

Though he was quite capable of it, Kallus didn't track how many minutes this went on. They weren't going to kill Zeb. The rational part of his mind knew that much. If they killed him, they had nothing. Kallus would take his secret to the grave and they would be left with no link to the rebel base. So long as he stayed silent, _they_ stayed alive and the others stayed hidden.

But still...with every lash of pain that moved through Zeb's body, every scream, and every microscopic tear in the fabric of Kallus' being...he had to wonder just how much Zeb could bear. The amount of power needed to elicit this sort of pain from a Lasat would have long since killed a human. How much more could his _Tinsana_ take...before it was too much?

Ultimately seeming to grow bored with his current method of torture, Kuross detached Zeb's binders from the frame, allowing him to slump helplessly to the floor, barely managing to even stay on his knees. The only thing he could properly manage was a glare up at the bounty hunter. Kuross just sneered at him before turning back to Kallus.

"Now what'll we do next for fun?" he mocked with entirely too much relish as he pulled a vibro-shiv from his belt. "What with his precious captain...his _strong_ Lasat Warrior?"

"Kuross-"

Before Kallus could finish the threat, the hunter had activated the shiv, the sound of it resonating eerily with Zeb's low growl just before the man slashed it across his side, tearing a jagged gash through the battle suit and down through the Lasat's skin. Kallus once again had to hold back a cry at the dark flow of blood down his partner's side...the sound of his snarl of pain...

"As much as I'm certain your man is enjoying his task," Kallus vaguely heard Pryce's voice somewhere behind him, "we are on something of a tight schedule here. Perhaps it is best if we-"

"A moment only, Governor," Thrawn's cool voice interrupted her. Then he moved around, properly coming in to face Kallus this time. "You still believe this love of yours cannot be conquered, Kallus? That it will somehow see you through your travails? If so, I am about to prove to you that _any_ victory may be claimed by one with the determination to seize it. Any strength may be turned into a weakness. While I regret the necessity of this final act, I would remind you that it was you yourself who have forced me into it."

When Thrawn had finished speaking, he nodded behind Kallus, and when the ex-Imperial turned to see who he'd nodded to, a great deal of him wished he hadn't.

Doctor Garst Archrem was walking onto the bridge with a carrier of some sort in hand – a _cage_. And when Kallus saw what, or rather _who_ , was contained in that cage...this time he couldn't hold back his cry.

"Lia!" the kit's name escaped his mouth as a broken gasp. Before he was even aware of moving, he was trying to get to her, fighting to get past the death troopers. But when he attempted to shove his way through one, the other was driving the barrel of his blaster into his stomach, driving him to his knees with a pained cough.

"No!" he cried out, watching helplessly as the mad scientist carried the cage over to Zeb, setting it down beside him with a self-satisfied sneer. Injured as he was, the only movement the former guardsman could manage was to reach his bound hands partway to the cage. The baby girl inside was sobbing raggedly, on the verge of exhaustion. How long had she been in that _thing?_

"Alex...Kali...I'm sorry." Kallus didn't know how he heard Zeb's whisper of a voice, but he did. "I'm...so- sorry..."

"You _cannot do this!_ " he shouted, at Thrawn, at Kuross, Archrem, at the Empire itself. "You _can't_ \- She's just- she's only a little girl! You have no right to _use her_ this way!"

"We have the _only_ right," Archrem insisted. "She _belongs_ to us. Our genetic property. Child she may be, but she also wouldn't _exist_ without the auspices of Project Ash Warrior."

"She belongs to _no one_ ," Kallus snarled at the scientist. "She isn't property. She's a living being!"

"For the moment," Thrawn's cold voice sounded directly overhead just before the Chiss dropped to one knee beside him. "Do you _love them_ , Kallus?" the grand admiral asked, placing ugly, mocking emphasis on the word 'love'. "Was that the truth you discovered beyond your duty?"

"What secrets would you give away in order to see their lives spared?" Pryce's voice entered the conversation again.

"Monsters," Kallus hissed, heart already breaking as the situation unfolded in his mind to its inevitable conclusion. "Every last one of you... _monsters_."

"Were you so different?" Thrawn flung the words back at him before seizing his chin and forcing him to look back at his little family – at Zeb, half dead on the floor, and Lia, locked up, tiny four-fingered hands reaching through the bars of her cage, crying for him. "Their lives are in your hands. Will you bear the blood of even one more Lasat? If you maintain your silence now, you will be killing _both_ of them. Tell me where your rebel companions are hiding."

"I...I _don't know_ ," he finally answered, the first proper answer he had given, trying to delay the inevitable as long as he could. "I've _never_ known- where the base is."

"But you _could_ contact them. And I believe you are aware that that trajectory would be all I need. So give me what I need, or Garazeb Orrelios and Arkalia Selvarrio will die here and now."

Kallus was about to spit a further denial at Thrawn when he happened to noticed the way Zeb's eyes _bulged_ upon hearing the name the Chiss had bestowed upon the baby girl.

"What...what did...you call her?"

 _Oh, stars. He didn't know._

"I called her her name," Thrawn said matter-of-factly, but then seemed to realize what exactly the question meant. "Oh. Did you not know the identity of your foundling, Captain Orrelios? Your Arkalia is the daughter of Arekaya Selvarrio. The very last of the royal family you vowed and _failed_ to protect, if I remember correctly."

If he lived a thousand years, Kallus knew he would never be able to forget the way Zeb's eyes _broke_ – something in that expression shattering into a million pieces. And the destroyed _scream_ that tore from his throat would haunt the nightmares of more than one Imperial on the bridge that day. If Kallus hadn't heard the sound himself, he never would've believed his love capable of making it. It was a cry no truly sane voice could hope to contain.

" _Kaya! KAYA! ORRA!_ " the former guardsman screamed in a voice beyond agony. " _Ni Amsala! Ni Amsala'ka! **Areh Aman Ashahn, ZAKYRE NA VASHIR!**_ "

And if witnessing this breakdown had been horrific to Kallus, it was nothing compared with what came next, because Zeb just...stopped. As if every string of energy that animated the powerful, dynamic warrior had been cut all at once, he slumped to the floor of the bridge, empty green eyes staring listlessly at nothing.

"Zeb?" Kallus called out, whispering, then again, louder, _desperate_. " _Zeb?!_ "

Nothing. Zeb was completely unresponsive, and it made Arkalia's pitiful cries all the more heartbreaking to hear in that devastated silence.

"Such an unfortunate thing," Thrawn's voice came to him yet again, nothing in it suggesting he was even a little affected by what had happened. "Perhaps you _had_ been prepared to give up your own life for your cause, maybe even the life of your beloved...but what about _her_ life? The life of your precious little princess? Will you allow _her_ to die for our war?"

"If she dies...if she dies today...I won't be the one who killed her," he said, gaze focused blearily ahead, upon the two beings who mattered the most to him. He didn't want to try to decipher the minutia in Thrawn's expressions. Not anymore. It didn't matter now.

"Logically, no. But grief is never ruled by logic. _If_ that proves to be the case, you alone shall bear the burden of her death, and you will carry it around your neck like a noose until it strangles you. Is that what you want?"

Want had little to do with it. Thrawn had been right before. He had been prepared for his little speech to be his goodbye to Zeb. It was the sort of thing you said when you were prepared to die for something you believed in. He could make such a choice for Zeb...but not for Arkalia. His decision was made already and they both knew it, but that didn't mean he couldn't still cling to these final moments with everything he had.

"You know...in spite of whom you serve, I'd once thought you had a sense of decency, Thrawn. But if you are truly capable of ordering the murder of a child, then you _are_ a monster...a heartless _beast_ of the lowest degree."

"I am whatever I _must_ be, Kallus. You know this," the Chiss responded, seeming unaffected by the ex-Imperial's accusation. "And if you will not surrender to me what I need willingly, we will have little choice but to proceed," he said, nodding at Kuross, who sneered down at the ex-Imperial before advancing on the cage where Arkalia lay trapped, helpless. Time almost seemed to slow for Kallus as the bounty hunter raised his vibro-shiv above his head to strike.

 _I'm sorry._

" _STOP!_ " he screamed just as Kuross was beginning his downward strike. "I'll do what you want, _whatever_ you want. Just stop. _Stop this!_ "

"Better. _Much_ better," Thrawn said, utterly unshaken by _any_ of what had just happened as he moved back to his feet in a single swift motion. "Troopers."

Kallus was largely numb by this point, barely aware as the two death troopers forced him to his feet and over to a comm console. He almost didn't notice when one of them unbound his hands, but he could hardly focus on what it was he was _actually_ going to do, let alone even entertain thoughts of retaliation or escape.

"Why? Why _this?_ " he found himself starting to ask as he stared at the console, the instrument of his impending betrayal. "You have what you want, you can take it anytime. Why like this?" Because Thrawn _could've_ done, he now realized. He could've easily threatened Zeb with Arkalia's life as he'd just done to him if it was simply a matter of getting the information he needed; he would've gotten that information much faster, at the least. But he had saved it for Kallus himself. Saved this most personal, most _intimate_ of tortures for _him_.

 _Why?_

"No. I will force nothing upon you, Alexsandr Kallus," the Chiss informed him. "You are going to _choose_ this. And that is the point. Your choices thus far have led you here. So make another _choice_ , and _learn_ how a traitor is rewarded."

Crumpling mentally beneath the weight of the grand admiral's words, Kallus reached forward to begin his transmission, little doubting the console had already been calibrated to trace his message to its destination. Working as slowly as he possibly could, he set up his relay network, a circuitous route that would typically keep the end destination safe, but that would now no longer stand up against the stringent protocols of the rigged comms console. He didn't both setting up the identity scramblers. There was no point anymore. If he was going to actively betray his friends – his _family_ – he was at least going to do it to their faces.

And ultimately, he was forced to reveal the code phrase he'd used in order to tie the whole system together.

"Accept override code," he began in a stilted voice. " _A...Ashkerra san karu._ Transmit."

His signal was picked up almost immediately, holographic images of Hera, Sato, Dodonna, and Ryder Azadi appearing in a circle above the console. Closing his eyes briefly, he began in a heavy voice, "This is Fulcrum...with a _final_ message."

" _Alex_ ," Hera's voice cut through what he'd meant to say, her use of his given name sending a very clear message to all who heard it.

"Hera," he returned, eyes blinking open to see the tiny kernel of worry in the Twi'lek's battle-hardened expression, "Hera, I'm so sorry. This transmission is being traced, even now. Thrawn will find you any moment."

"We know. We're prepared."

"I'm sorry," he said again. "They have Zeb and Lia. I couldn't...I can't-"

"It's all right, Alex," she soothed him, her expression unchanged, though their familiarity allowed him to hear the comfort offered in her words. "It's going to be all right. You did what you had to. This isn't your fault. Just tell me...are they all right?"

"They are- alive," Kallus answered haltingly, gaze flicking away from the display, back to where Zeb still lay, incensed, at Kuross' feet. "That is _truly_ all I have to offer."

"It's enough. We'll get you out of there. Do you hear me, Alex? We are going to get you _all out of there_. It might not be today, but we are _not_ going to abandon you to them. You just have to stay alive until we come for you. Keep _them_ alive. Can you promise me that?" she pressed him, speaking as if she were trying to get a promise from a child to stand guard over his favorite toy – something to draw his focus, to distract him from the utter hopelessness of the situation. And, at the utmost end of his hope as he was, he found himself comforted by it.

"Promise," he answered in a small voice.

He almost hadn't noticed the fleet jumping to hyperspace as he'd spoken to Hera, but he certainly noticed it emerge, coming face to face with an almost comically small rebel fleet above some Outer Rim world Kallus had no name for. As the Seventh Fleet arrayed itself against the meager forces of the Alliance, Thrawn moved in behind Kallus, coming into view for the rebel leaders. And as the long range jamming came online, both the images of Azadi _and_ Dodonna flickered out of existence. Feeling a tiny flare of _hope_ spark awake in his heart at the sight, Kallus also felt Thrawn stiffen in surprise behind him, but the Chiss still took the development in stride.

"Commander Sato, Captain Syndulla," he greeted his opponents in his eternally even voice. "At last we meet in this theatre of war, however briefly. There is no escape and your forces are badly outnumbered. This, uh- _rebellion_ ends today."

"We'll never surrender to _you_ ," Hera promised him, offering the grand admiral a look of icy contempt.

"You misunderstand, Captain. I'm not accepting surrenders at this time. I want you to know failure, utter defeat, and that it is I who delivers it, crashing down upon you. Now, let us proceed."

Kallus didn't doubt Thrawn had meant to cut the connection following such a statement, but before he could, Hera threw something more out.

"You've made it personal, Thrawn."

"Hmm?"

"Until now, you'd kept this strictly military, strictly tactical, but you couldn't root us out any other way but by bringing our family into it. You _made_ this personal when you kidnapped a helpless infant. I am telling you now that we _will not_ forget it. Nor will we forgive. If _any_ harm comes to Arkalia or to her fathers, every last member of this Alliance will hold you personally responsible, and not a day will go by we don't make you regret the choice you've made. _That_ is our promise to you, Grand Admiral Thrawn."

"Bold words, Captain. I look forward to...what is that phrase you all use...making you eat them."

With that, Thrawn really did cut the connection, taking only a moment to shove Kallus harshly to the side.

The ex-Imperial rolled with the blow, winding up only half a meter away from Zeb and Lia. When no one made a move to stop him, he crawled over to them, gathering Zeb in his arms, resting the Lasat's head in his lap.

" _La'n torril, ni ashkerra. La'n torril...Tinsana'ka_ ," he whispered to his near catatonic lover, one of his hands finding its way to Zeb's. The only indication the Lasat gave that he was aware of any of it was a faint squeeze of that hand.

"They truly are a rebellious rabble, these compatriots of yours," Thrawn commented over his shoulder, purposefully not giving his full attention to the downed agent as an insult, but Kallus really couldn't have cared less in that moment. For now...he was with his family, and he had to take what he could get.

"They would most assuredly take that as a compliment," he bit back at the Chiss, holding Zeb as tightly as he could. With his free hand, he reached over to slip his fingers through the bars of Lia's cage, letting her grip them tightly in her own, her little claws just barely piercing the heavy duty Imperial fabric.

There were still tears streaming from the kit's eyes, but her crying had grown quieter. She'd nearly exhausted herself with screaming. As terrified as she clearly was, Kallus didn't imagine she could remain awake much longer, which would likely be better for her. Lia didn't need to see all this ugliness, all this death and destruction.

 _Oh, my dear little heart, what have I allowed to happen? This is my fault...for **daring** to think I could keep the two of you safe. My darling, darling girl..._

"Enjoy it while ya can," Kuross mocked shamelessly, using his deactivated vibro-shiv to lift Kallus' face up by the chin. "Just as soon as this fight's done with...this little happy family a' yours is done, too." Then he used the blade to deliver a nick to the ex-Imperial's jaw, leaving him to hiss briefly in pain as a small stream of blood trickled from his face down onto Zeb's, mingling with the blood already present.

 _One blood...one flesh...one heart..._

Kallus curled tightly in on himself as he held his family close, waiting for the first blow to fall. He didn't know what was going to happen, but he was not going to watch his enemies take them from him. He was going to find a way to get them out of here. He refused to believe that he couldn't.

 _I won't let you die...either of you. I won't. No matter what it takes...I **won't!**_

XxX

(A/N) *nervous sideways glance* Oh...I might...I might have broken Zeb...because apparently I like to suffer. I'm sorry. SUFFER WITH ME! But he'll get his shit together next time. I promise. Just gotta get through this interim period first. There is something I'd like to ask all you darling readers in the meantime, though. I've debated rather furiously with myself these last few weeks on whether or not I should depict these events and the events leading up to them from Zeb's point of view and I definitely put off making the decision this time, so I'll put it to all of you. Is Zeb's perspective on events between the first and the last scene of this chapter something you'd all want to see more of next time around or would you rather I just launched straight into the Battle of Atollon and leave those things more to flashback and snippets?

One other note I have for you is a bit of a story involving the quote Thrawn used. 'With its wing snatched away, who does this one-winged bird call out to in its final moment.' Not Shakespearian, of course, but it helps to have an attributable literary figure in-universe. But I wanted to get this line in somehow. It's actually from a song called 'Katayoku no Tori'. Translation: One-Winged Bird (yeah, really basic bitch here, heheh). I feel this important because this is the song that was fueling me more than a year ago when I first sat down with my laptop to start banging out that first scene of a little motherless Lasat coming into Kallus' care. Before any of the other story elements really started to align, this piece of music was the connecting thread that I could see straight through to this moment, way back when I wasn't even sure I would reach it. Have a listen sometime. It's a really intense piece.

And now, of course, all I've got for you are my translation notes.

or'sultir omsher sir luan - Don't listen to them

an or'velkir - you can't

Ni ashkerra...La'n z'oshyr...ni alitha...La zona- My love...I'm so sorry...my darling...I tried

Orra...Orra...An san or'vilanat, ni shan. La sylf kadjir an rika torrahn. Orra neshen ka'in nalliri. La garrir zalv ni zash - No...No...You are not to blame, my sweet. I will get you out of here. No matter what it takes. I swear on my life-

luaheh kadja- They've got-

Ni Amsala! Ni Amsala'ka! Areh Aman Ashahn, ZAKYRE NA VASHIR! - My Princess! My dear Princess! Holy Mother of Light, PLEASE FORGIVE ME!

Ashkerra san karu - Love is the answer

La'n torril, ni ashkerra. La'n torril...Tinsana'ka - I'm here, my love. I'm here...precious Bondmate.

And that is all of it. Until next we meet, dear readers, adieu.


	19. Demons Run, But Count the Cost

(A/N) Hello again, my dears! I hope it's been an interesting month for all of you. We are back again with another installment. I think you may all hate me yet again, but...we'll get there; I promise. Now, fair warning, I do depict rape in this chapter. I don't think I went into a great deal of detail, but it is still rape, so...yeah. Forewarned is forearmed. As usual these days, I don't know if I can say I hope you enjoy the chapter...just that I can give you something that's maybe worth the reading...

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 19: Demons Run, but Count the Cost_

What neither Thrawn nor Kallus could've known as the Seventh Fleet hurtled through hyperspace was that the arrival of Kar, Tiri, and Jorrah on Atollon had given Phoenix Squadron and the Massassi Group just enough time to prepare for siege. The hope had been that they would have time to escape entirely, but there are only so many miracles to be had in a single rotation.

Being still ungrounded, Dodonna's fleet had been able to make it to hyperspace mere moments before the _Chimaera's_ arrival, already systems away by the time Thrawn delivered his promise of destruction to the Alliance.

While it was a victory that even half the attack force got away at all, it still left Phoenix Cell alone before the fury of the entire Seventh Fleet with no way to call for aid.

Hera claimed to have some sort of plan for getting a ship past the Imperial blockade, but to Orianne Rihima and the others listening in from the command center on the ground, that plan so far seemed to consist of their people getting picked off one by one.

"Hera, I can't get through as long as those interdictor cruisers are cutting us off!" Ezra's voice came over comms on ship to ship.

"Stay sharp, Ezra. We'll find you that opening," Hera reassured him.

"I _know_ , just- hurry!" the young Jedi responded, and Orianne was again reminded just _how_ young Ezra actually was by the rising note of worry in his voice. But really, what choice did this Alliance of theirs have? They needed everyone who could fight.

"Commander Bridger," Jun's voice suddenly came over the rest of the chatter, "go to heading 2-2-1 and prepare to jump."

If asked, the medic couldn't have said what it was that alerted her to the fact that something was different about this order. The only proper answer she might've given was that she _knew_ Jun Sato. They had been fighting together for a long time now. Since before the creation of Phoenix Cell even. She had known him when they were both young and foolish, had had more than a few firsts with him, as well. Had she loved him that long? That question was harder to answer. But she loved him now. She loved him and she heard the tone in his voice that said he had thought things through without consulting anyone yet again and he had a plan – a plan that would result in more grief for her.

Operating on an instinct she either didn't understand, or simply didn't _want_ to understand, she moved toward the soldier handling comms between air and ground and firmly pushed him aside.

"Jun?" she called out, connecting to _Phoenix Nest_ directly. "What are you doing?"

"I'm afraid we don't have time for long goodbyes, Ri," his voice came to her, filtered down through the comm channel. "I have a plan. It's the only way to get Ezra through and save the fleet."

He couldn't risk telling her what it was, she knew. Not when there was a chance they might be tapped. But she thought she could guess what his intentions were when the holo display showed the carrier emptying of its escape pods, the ship's crew fleeing to Atollon's surface.

"Jun..." she whispered, her throat tightening against everything she _wanted_ to say to her best friend, "do you still plan to meet me on Takodana?"

"Might be a little later than we'd planned," he answered, his voice gentle, trying to comfort her, despite the battle raging around him.

"Well...don't be _too_ late, old man," she choked out, feeling the sting of tears at her eyes. "After all, who...who knows how much time we have left?"

"No knowing...but for you, my light dove...I would be prepared to risk any eternity the stars could show me."

Orianne laughed as several tears slipped through her carefully guarded expression. "Don't be saying things like that, old fool. What would Althea think?"

"Althea is not here right now. _You_ are. You have always been right there when I needed you. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it."

The medic swallowed heavily, something inside of her splintering at his words. Perhaps it was all she'd ever _wanted_ to hear from Jun Sato.

 _You...you just can't...how will I_ _ **ever-**_

"Orianne?" his voice came to her again, pulling her out of her moment of self-pity. After all, he still needed her.

"I'm here."

"I do not- know where I might end up...but wherever it is, I'll save you a place at the bar. I expect to wait _many_ years before we share that drink."

"No promises."

"I love you...Orianne Rihima."

"And I love you...Jun Sato."

They spoke no more after that. She hadn't noticed it at first, but the soldiers gathered around the holomap had largely cleared the space around the comms console, allowing their commander and chief medic to have their final goodbye in relative private. But as they all watched the carrier bait the interdictor out of position, Zelina moved over to stand beside her, taking her hand in hers. Orianne may have squeezed that hand tighter than she would readily admit to after the fact.

The interdictor took the bait, moving just where Jun wanted it, allowing him a clear path to ram the Imperial cruiser. The destruction of _Phoenix Nest_ was likely a great spectacle of fire and debris to be beheld up close, but down on the surface all they saw was the blinking out of a few lights on their holo display. The death of Jun Sato was marked with nothing more than the flickering of a few pixels.

It wasn't in vain. Ezra _did_ manage to slip by before the Imperials could reset their perimeter. She would have to tell herself that in the cold nights to come.

If there even _were_ any nights to come.

No! She couldn't think like that. She had to believe that Jun's sacrifice meant something.

She _had_ to.

"Orianne?" her young protege's soothing voice came to her, offering her a brief but firm side hug. She had kriff-near _enviable_ bedside manner, this one. "I'm so sorry."

Phoenix Cell's chief medic said nothing in response. She only nodded her acknowledgment. And as they watched the rest of the rout happening high above their heads, Orianne Rihima's vision went blurry with the silent tears streaming down her face.

XxX

"Commander Bridger, what's going on? What's happened?" General Dodonna demanded anxiously as his holo image flickered to life above the _Nightbrother's_ comms array.

"Phoenix Squadron's taking heavy casualties back there," Ezra explained, swallowing hard before finishing with, "Sato sacrificed _Phoenix Nest_ to help us get out."

Through the less than perfect quality of the holo image, the young Jedi saw the general's eyes widen in aggrieved shock. "Jun...Sato is dead, then?"

"Yes," Ezra said, wishing it didn't have to be true, but there wasn't time to grieve yet. "He sacrificed himself for his people. We _need help._ That's why- why I didn't contact you right away."

Dodonna sighed heavily at this. "You've already spoken with Senator Mothma then?"

"Right."

"She said it was too big a risk to the other cells," Jorrah chimed in from where he was leaning against Ezra's pilot's chair. "That it would just be playing into Thrawn's hands _._ "

"Indeed it would. Thrawn is, in all likelihood, the most brilliant tactical mind in this or _any_ galaxy."

"I know the Massassi Group doesn't have the fuel to spare to make the jump _back_ to Atollon," Ezra said, letting the old soldier know he understood the dilemma before them.

"No, we do not. Our allotment had been for the journey to Lothal and a possible retreat to Yavin IV. Senator Organa is still negotiating a new supply line. With this ambush, we would be able to return to Atollon, but nowhere else. Even if we could take out the second interdictor, we would be no less trapped."

"There's another problem you should be considering in the meantime," Jorrah pointed out. "Thrawn was able to trace Kallus' transmission to Atollon in barely five minutes. The only way he could've made a full trace that quickly is if he had a second trajectory plot to cross reference with the transmission. If he'd had a bug in Phoenix Squadron in any way, he would've found Chopper Base a long time ago. The only possibility that leaves-"

"Is that I have either a mole within my own ranks or that my fleet has been tapped in some way. Yes. That possibility had begun to occur to me when I realized the Seventh Fleet was right on top of you. We have already begun preliminary investigations," Dodonna reassured them.

"Kallus risked his life and his freedom to keep our new base safe. The last thing we want to do is lead Thrawn right to it," Ezra agreed. "But...while you're figuring that out...if there's _any_ help you can give us, anything at all...I can't just let them all die."

The general pursed his lips in thought for several moments, thinking through all available options. "I _may_ be able to divert enough fuel to send back two fighters. Saplar and Terachor are still on lone to us from Phoenix Squadron, after all. But they would really only be of help in drawing the attention of the interdictor's defensive batteries. As far as sending people to take out the cruiser directly...I'm afraid it's a risk we cannot take."

"Because you don't know who among your own people you can trust," Ezra said slowly as the realization washed over him.

"Just so," Dodonna said, his expression grave as he looked at the two young men. "At this point in time, we have no way of knowing _how_ Thrawn would've come by our trajectory data; if it was simply reads from our last skirmish, or if we are being tracked or reported on. If there _is_ a spy, we can't yet know who it might be. In a situation this fraught, unintentionally sending along an Imperial spy as part of any strike team could prove to be the end of Phoenix Cell, and even the undoing of the Rebel Alliance as a whole. You understand my position."

"Right. Tera and Saplar are fine because they haven't been with Massassi Group long enough to be under suspicion. But anyone else..."

"It's simply too great a risk."

Ezra growled in frustration, gripping at the bridge of his nose for a minute. It wasn't that he didn't understand the situation. He _did_. But Hera and Kanan and everyone else were counting on him. Sato had sacrificed his life for this chance. He _couldn't_ go back without help.

 _They need me...my family. Hera and Kanan back on Atollon. Zeb and Ari and even Kallus onboard the_ _ **Chimaera**_ _. They'll all die if I can't figure something out. My family..._

 _Family._

 _Sabine!_

"General Dodonna," Ezra started, his voice firming up with fresh resolve as he resettled himself in the pilot's chair, flagging Chopper to help him plot a new course, "Once Saplar and Tera are cleared for rerouting, have them meet up with us at Krownest."

"I will do that," the general said with a nod. "Clan Wren?"

"Right. _Nightbrother_ out," he said before cutting the connection.

"So this is- your Mandalorian friend?" Jorrah asked as he strapped himself into the co-pilot's seat.

"Yup. I'd say it's about time you two met," the young Jedi said, steeling his gaze as the ship accepted her new coordinates. It was _not_ going to be easy to convince Ursa Wren of anything, but he had to try.

They were out of time and out of options. If Clan Wren didn't throw its full support to the Rebellion now, there would likely never be another chance.

XxX

Zeb had not been drugged during the torture.

It had begun on a psychological level when he'd had to watch Kuross carry Arkalia from his ship locked in a cage, screaming and sobbing for help. He would've torn the four stormtroopers escorting him limb from limb to get to her if he had thought it would help. But a single threatening step in the bounty hunter's direction would have meant his daughter's death. Likely it had been to serve as a reminder that she'd been brought with him to an interrogation chamber aboard the _Chimaera_.

 _One wrong move and your precious girl dies._

His cell had been _meant_ for interrogation, at least, but that wasn't the purpose it served when Kuross entered it. He was not asked even one question about the Alliance. The Imperials just stood back and watched while Kuross tortured him.

Electricity, burn rods, needles, vibro-shivs...Kuross even produced a whip at one point. It was pain for pain's sake.

"Blue boy said to bring ya in undamaged," the bounty hunter's voice had sounded in his ear at one point. "Now I gotcha here and he wants me to tear ya a couple new ones. Guess this high and mighty bastard knows what he's doin'."

This was all for Alex then. He was just a game piece to Thrawn. The Chiss wanted his lover to see what they'd done to him...what he hadn't been able to stop them from doing.

 _Alex..._

For Arkalia's sake, he had fought his hardest not to scream, but there were just moments when the pain became too great, when it was all too much for his body to contain and it had to be released somehow. Kuross broke his body, but hearing his little girl's terrified cries...that had broken his _heart_.

He could only pray that none of this formed as a memory for her...that she would be spared the horror of this moment in some way.

Throughout it all, the bounty hunter showed a suspicious amount of restraint in regards to the pulse point in his neck. In every previous encounter, he had made a point of touching it uninvited, of proving to Zeb that he could. But during the torture he almost seemed to purposefully ignore it, focusing instead on damaging the Lasat physically. Zeb didn't forget about it, though.

At least...not until he'd had to watch Arkalia be handed over to Garst Archrem – the very same madman who had bred their people like animals, treated them like laboratory experiments...the man he knew had laid hands on him without his consent...and there was nothing he could do to stop this from happening.

"Say bye bye to baby girl," his torturer had mocked shamelessly

" _DAN-DAN!_ " he'd heard her scream. If he lived beyond this day, he knew that scream was a sound he'd take with him to his grave.

He'd felt so worthless and so powerless when Kuross and Pryce had put him on the line with Alex – like some helpless child in a hostage situation. He couldn't protect Arkalia. He couldn't protect Alex from what was happening to him. He was nothing but the object of his _Tinsana's_ pain.

Foolishly, he had thought it couldn't be worse.

But then Kuross had emptied the contents of a particularly large syringe into his neck before cutting his connection with Alex.

"Let's find out what's hiding in that pretty head of yours."

It hadn't taken all that long for whatever cocktail the bounty hunter had introduced to his system to take effect. He rapidly lost control of his limbs, and was subjected instead to the torments of his own mind.

 _Lasan...his homeworld burning...his people vanishing in hideous flashes of light...nothing but ash and dust on the wind...Kaya being carried away from him...the sound of her screams raking at his ears...so like Arkalia..._

 _Morverin III...life as a gladiator...as a bed slave for those who paid high enough...rough fingers rubbing at his pleasure point...drawing him to full sexual arousal without removing so much as a stitch of clothing...then someone riding him until he was empty..._

"Please..." he begged, no longer certain who he was speaking to. "Please don't do this."

 _Trapped in the sensory deprivation unit...trapped in every way imaginable...master of neither his body nor his mind...the strands of his existence bleeding and melting, one into the other...and all of it falling away into oblivion...the universe itself could come to an end around him and he wouldn't know it..._

He was screaming...screaming past all help or hope...screaming to shatter the nightmare that was strangling him, drowning him...screaming to beg for death...he didn't know anymore.

He only screamed.

Then a hand...gentle...cool against the heated flesh of his cheek...

"Zeb...my love..."

"Alex...?" he called out helplessly, trembling. He didn't know what was real anymore.

"It's all right now, beloved. I'm here. You're safe."

The hand trailed down onto his neck, stroking at him. Weakly, he felt his body respond...stiffening...slipping from its sheath.

"Alex..." he tried again, trying to make him understand, not sure if _he_ even did.

"Just lie quiet now, darling. Let me take care of you."

Lips kissing his...but the taste...something was wrong.

"Alex," he pleaded into the kiss, "somethin's wrong...something's _wrong_."

"What could possibly be wrong?"

There was weight against him...pressing down on him...but also moving against him...the rhythm familiar to his overwrought mind and body...but _why?_

 _Don't! Don't remember!_

This time the kiss was forced on him.

 _No...no..._ _ **wrong!**_ his heart screamed out, but his head was still fighting him.

 _Don't. Don't. Don't think. Don't feel. Don't_ _ **know**_ _. It's not happening. Nothing's happening._

" _Stop!_ " he cried out desperately when those lips finally released him, giving him back his voice, even if it was only for a moment. "Please...just stop. Stop it!"

But again he was seized in the embrace, powerless to stop it.

"Everything's going to be all right, my Zeb. We're so- close now."

"Alex..." He was sobbing openly now. Why wouldn't he _listen?_

"I love you."

That did it. The lie of those words laid so thick against his tongue was enough to snap him out of the hallucination, awakening him to the horrifying reality of the situation.

Giren Kuross was settled on his lap, straddling his thighs, and he was buried fully in the human's body while he rode him, hard and without mercy.

 _Oh, Ashla._

"Aw, yeah. Feel that cock in me," the bounty hunter moaned obscenely. "Gimme that barb, big boy."

 _Ashla na silir. Ashla na rever. Na velenir sir an._

He was going to come. He was-

The human leered up at him as he continued to buck against him, eyes burning with conquest and the nearness of release.

"Come inside me... _Tinsana!_ " he snarled, violating that precious word with his vile tongue worse than he could ever hope to violate Garazeb Orrelios physically.

And perhaps his goddess _was_ merciful in some small way. Because before he could open his mouth to scream in horror, before his body could betray him and spill over into climax, his mind shut down and he blacked out completely, not coming to until Kuross was forcing him awake on the bridge of the _Chimaera_.

Distantly, his mind was aware of what had happened to him...what Kuross had _done_ to him...but his mind was doing a topnotch job of divorcing that experience from physical reality. He focused instead on the pain of his injuries...his physical wounds. The worse traumas...the ones afflicted against his spirit...were unseen, depthless wounds that he was not prepared to deal with. And those wounds were held open by having to watch Alex struggle not to break as he bore witness to the ordeal.

 _Alex...this isn't so bad. He- he's done worse._

He was far past any point where he could control his responses, giving his captor every scream and writhe of pain he sought. His own physical suffering meant very little to him at this point. It was watching his love fighting to remain strong that was breaking him. Outwardly, Alex had seemed impassive, utterly unaffected by what was happening. But Zeb knew him, knew him too well, and he could see the tiny twitch in his eyes with every lash laid against him, could perceive the change in his scent with every scream that escaped his throat. Alex _seemed_ perfectly calm, but his scent, imperceptible to everyone else, spoke of a low-burning rage – the sort that boiled for _years_ beneath the surface before bursting outward without warning, consuming everything in its path in molten fury and destruction.

If he could, Zeb had little doubt that Alexsandr Kallus would end this Star Destroyer and everyone on it in a bolt of cataclysmic fire and plasma. And he couldn't do _anything_ to soothe the fire in his lover's soul.

 _Alex...my Alex..._

It had been of some comfort to him...to hear the ex-Imperial describe their bond to Thrawn...to challenge him to even _try_ to break it. The love in his heart glowed all the brighter for it. Even though he _knew_ that they were both already beaten; and that fact was laid bare when Arkalia was brought into the equation.

Why did he think there was nothing more that could be taken from him? Perhaps he'd _had_ to believe that...in order to stay sane.

How wrong he was.

Because then Thrawn had named his little girl Selvarrio...and in that ultimate failure, he was completely undone.

The similarities he'd always seen between Kaya and Kali...they were not just the guilty conscious of a failed guardsman. The connection was real. Perhaps he had always known it? Known and just not wished to see it.

 _You could hardly lay claim to this child, Captain Orrelios. You failed her mother, your dearest princess. Twice you failed her. You fail this little princess even now. Couldn't even protect her. Your life, your existence, is_ _ **worthless**_ _._

And so, broken at last, Garazeb Orrelios just stopped. Stopped suffering and hating and enduring...but he stopped believing, too. Did he also stop loving?

Maybe. Perhaps for a moment...

He was utterly unaware of what was happening around him, barely cognizant of the moment his lover gathered him in his arms, drawing his head to rest in his lap.

" _La'n torril, ni ashkerra. La'n torril...Tinsana'ka._ "

That. That was real. The love in Alex's voice, in his touch...that could not be faked. He knew that now. He wanted to reciprocate in some way, but all he could manage was to grip his lover's hand a little tighter.

" _La'n...torril,_ " he returned after awhile, still aware of little more than Alex. " _La'n- araz torril. Tef...na rever zalv sir. Na nakir torril._ "

Alex nodded, gripping his hand more firmly, holding him that much tighter. " _Mayba an fallir, ni ashkerra...ni ashkerra'ka._ "

" _N'aribir...n'aribir an n'ashkerrir,_ " he pleaded softly, needing to hear the truth of those words...to wipe out the ugly _stain_ Kuross had laid upon them.

" _L'ashkerrir an,_ " his lover answered right away, probably just happy he was responding at all. " _An san ni zash. An or'velkir rokir ko azaln La san an san zalial._ "

There were many things he _could've_ said then, but they were things that were for other times, things that would not help them right now.

 _Worthless_.

" _N'aribir ka san shevad,_ " he requested in a quiet whisper, curling tighter against his lover. It wasn't so much that he was incapable of seeing what was happening around him. More that if he let his focus move beyond Alex, there was a very real possibility he would just lose it. External input would have to come filtered through the ex-agent for now.

Thankfully, his partner didn't question it. He gave him what he needed, describing the ship to ship battle that had occurred in order to get a ship through, Sato's sacrifice, what was happening on Atollon's surface, how Thrawn had ordered an orbital bombardment...how their shield didn't seem likely to hold much longer. He could feel Alex tensing in the silence between explanations.

" _Ka?_ " he pressed in fear. He supposed if he had to hear about the deaths of his family, the only way he could bear it was through Alex. But the very next moment, his lover was relaxing in relief.

" _In reva,_ " he told him. " _Luah san araz kol lis. Tefsa...Thrawn san sovad meshym se arrag athil._ "

Zeb couldn't say what happened next, but whatever was happening, he felt Alex chuckling against him. He heard Thrawn's voice, but couldn't properly focus on what he was actually saying. All he got was Alex's response.

"I've been in your position before, only to have these rebels pull victory from certain defeat."

"...as these rebels are about to learn," the Chiss' voice finally trickled through his awareness. "I am inclined to wonder, however, if you still believe that this love of yours remains unconquered."

For the briefest of moments, Zeb half-wondered if Alex might concede defeat. But then he felt the way the human shifted against him, body firming up with resolve...caught the calm certainty carried in his scent. Alexsandr Kallus, at least, was unconquered.

"Absolutely," Alex answered without hesitation, proud and defiant, even though he was on his knees before the grand admiral. "As I said, you may do whatever you like with us; no amount of suffering can cancel out what we have found in each other. Perhaps our hurt _is_ very great, but it is only one more thing this bond is stronger than. You _cannot_ take it from us. You _cannot_ break it. I have little doubt you were seeking a different answer, Thrawn, but you have _lost_."

Still unable to risk pulling his focus further away from Alex than to listen, Zeb could only imagine the look on Thrawn's face in that moment, but he liked to imagine at least a flicker of annoyance in that eternally frosty countenance. And that image was reflected in the tone of his next words.

"We shall see what your captain thinks when this is over."

Zeb heard nothing more from the Chiss after that. Instead, he let himself seek solace in the closeness of his partner. Like earlier, it had given him comfort to hear Alex defend their love so fiercely, even if he didn't quite feel worthy of such a defense yet. He knew he _could_ , though...with time...if they even _had_ time.

" _Alex,_ " he started to whisper urgently, " _Ul'n valad nallat ah. Archrem...ul'n valad nallat nis emeran fillal sa lis. An or'velkir sillirul-_ "

" _Shh...ze ze,_ " Alex quieted him. " _La sylf sultir ka La fal nakat an mentu silan. La rokir an san veryn mal...sim La fallir an zonat nakatin nel li...se'ah._ "

" _La sylf zonir,_ " he returned quietly, the only promise he had left to give. " _Se'ah._ "

XxX

Since coming to Atollon, Zelina had not spent a lot of time in her armor. Unless one was serving as a field medic, it tended to send a bad message to one's patients. The only exception had been the mission to Manaan. Other than that, the tenets of her cultural identity had remained carefully stowed in a crate beneath her bunk.

Growing up aboard a starship, constantly on the move, she had not had the opportunity to interact with many of her own people, but her parents had done the best they could to raise her Mandalorian. That had included forging armor for her as a family. When it came right down to it, her armor was all she had left of her parents. So when the warning had gone out to strike base and prepare for evacuation, the young medic had slipped into the familiar armor like a second skin, taking a moment to just feel it on her once more before rejoining her friends.

The pieces of her armor were a deep, burnished red color, accented in several places with gold and a purple that was just as deep. Though it saddened her a little to have to properly pin down the myriad braids of her long hair in order to put her helmet on, there was also something comforting in having it back in place. The armor was a reassuring weight against her own worry as she observed the ensuing clashes between Phoenix Cell and Thrawn's troops from the minor safety of the command center, prepared either to serve any injured rebel soldiers or act as a spare gun hand if the need arose. Anything to hold back the inevitable tide that was the Empire.

She breathed a small sigh of relief with each little victory Rex and the others achieved, even if those victories were sometimes merely staying alive another moment. She cheered silently for Rex, Tiri, and Kar on the ground and Wedge, Hobbie, and Hara in the air.

She cheered until she saw Wedge take a hit from one of the inbound TIE fighters...until she heard his voice over comms.

" _I'm hit!_ "

" _No!_ No," she cried out, her voice falling away in shock as she watched her friend's A-wing spiral away from the battle trailing smoke.

"Wedge, do you copy? _Wedge?!_ " Hera demanded, but received only static in response.

Zel stood still only long enough to make certain none of the TIEs went for the downed fighter. When none of them broke off their pursuit of Hobbie and the others, she was in motion almost instantly. Wedge might be hurt, might be unconscious. He _needed her!_

"I've got to help him."

"Zelina, _no!_ " Hera tried to argue. "We don't even know if he's still alive. You'd only wind up getting yourself killed."

The young medic shook her head, moving slowly backwards out of the mostly deconstructed center, prepared to make a run for it if she needed to. "I've got to, Hera. Don't you get it? I've _got to._ "

The Twi'lek looked ready to interfere, to exert her influence as the ranking officer, but Orianne interfered instead, placing a firm hand on the captain's shoulder.

"Let her go, Hera. You would go if it were Kanan out there. I would go if it were Jun. She'll never be able to rest again if she doesn't at least _try_. She _has to_."

The expression on Hera's face was torn as she looked between Zel and Orianne. "I shouldn't. I _shouldn't_ let you...but I also know I can't stop you."

"Thank you," Zel said with a small nod, but before she could take off, a new voice joined the conversation.

"Don't worry, Cap; she won't be going alone," Jidu volunteered as she pulled her blaster from its holster and primed it, kissing the power pack. "We can't be throwing away medics, after all."

"Come home alive," the Twi'lek admonished them both before they took off, heading down through the layers of the structure. On their way out, they ran into Rex, Tiri, and Kar in retreat, having been rejoined by Kanan.

"What the kark are you girls _doing_ down here?" Rex demanded. "They'll be here any minute!"

"Wedge," Zel answered softly, and she knew the clone heard her, even through her helmet.

"What- _no!_ " Rex snapped, fear filling his eyes as he looked at her. "There's no _way_ you're going out there, Zelina. I'm sorry, but-"

" _I'm_ sorry, but I _am_ going out there," she told him in no uncertain terms. "I'm not leaving him. If he _is_ dead...I have to know that for sure."

"Hrgh! Kark if Trek didn't raise you a stubborn brat!" he snarled in frustration, looking like he was seriously considering knocking her out to stop her leaving.

"It's not up to you whether I go or not, Rex," she told the man who had become like another parent to her, knowing that every moment she wasted here was another moment Wedge might stop breathing. She had to convince Rex quickly. "He _needs me_. Would you have left any of your brothers behind? Would you have left _Ahsoka_ behind? If there was anything you could've done to save her?"

Zel knew she'd cut him deep with that one, could see it in the way his eyes almost seemed to _crack_ beneath some intangible weight. She was sorry for it, but she also knew it was the only way to get through to him. Finally, he nodded.

"All right. But if you gotta go back out there, I'm going with you."

"Rex," Kanan started up, "just how do you plan to get back?"

"Guess you'll just have to pick us up on your way out."

"I'll come, too," Tiri said to her. "You helped my sisters in their need. Now I will help you."

Kanan sighed in exasperation, shaking his head as he placed a hand on one of the stone walls. After several moments of bated half-silence, he began to speak again. "Go down the south spiral passage. They haven't discovered it yet. If you can make it out, you'll be able to circle around Thrawn's main line, but you won't have long. Neither you _or_ Wedge."

"He's alive?" Zel demanded in a flurry.

"Yes," the Jedi answered, fingers scrabbling briefly at the stone surface, no doubt the result of what he was sensing. "Likely unconscious. He's still breathing, but...he won't be for much longer. Go _now_. And you be _damn_ careful. I have a feeling the weather's about to get real ugly down here."

It was a struggle for Zelina not to just race out ahead of her three companions once the two groups had parted ways. All she wanted to do was fly to Wedge as fast as she could, to hold him in her arms and stitch the life to his body with her own two hands if it proved necessary. But the tiny scrap of her brain that was not driven by the need to find the boy who may or may not be _more_ than her friend, the scrap that remembered her battle training, cried out that the fastest way to proceed was by letting Rex lead. Which she did.

Rex led their small team out from the former safety of the base, skirting several cadres of stormtroopers moving in the opposite direction to storm it. All the while, the sky overhead grew darker and darker, thunder rumbling ominously in the distance.

 _Hold on, Wedge. Just hold on. I'm coming. I'll get there in time. I_ _ **promise**_ _I will!_

And they made good time, following the sighting Zel had taken earlier as the A-wing had gone down. But no sooner had they come upon the scorch marks in the dirt that indicated his passage than Rex also spotted the tracks of stormtroopers picking up the same trail, and before any of them could stop her, Zelina bolted ahead.

 _No, no, no!_ _ **Please, no!**_

Coming up over the next rise, she saw a group of four of them surrounding the crashed A-wing, three covering while the fourth climbed up onto the fighter's canopy.

" _NO!_ " the young Mandalorian screamed without thought, throwing herself just as recklessly down the ravine, taking aim at the trooper about to fire his blaster into the canopy.

Her shot struck true, sending the stormtrooper tumbling off the A-wing and alerting the others to her presence. She managed to hit the second one before any of them could get off a shot, but that was where her luck ran out.

" _ZELINA!_ "

Her chest plate took the first two shots, but the third grazed her side between the plates. She didn't know if Rex called her name first or if she was hit first. Either way, his voice was ringing in her ears as she went down, crying out in pain as one knee struck hard rock. Through the shriek of agony in her body, she focused her gaze ahead, seeing two blaster bolts fly by and strike the remaining troopers down with pinpoint accuracy.

"Really, Zel?" Jidu tried to joke as she came down beside her. "Here. Let's see that-"

"It's not bad," the young medic insisted a little less than truthfully as she forced herself back up on her feet, stumbling the rest of the way down into the ravine, rushing to the downed fighter as fast as her body would now allow.

"Zelina Arsane," Rex tried to scold her, biting her full name out like an ugly curse. "If you'd just hold still for _two karking minutes_ -"

"Later. Later," she insisted, struggling to pull herself up onto the A-wing. "Later...you can court martial me all you want."

 _Either it was worth it...or it wasn't._

Half the canopy's plexiglass was shattered and the half that remained was spattered with blood. Catching a single breath, Zelina steeled herself and peered inside.

Wedge was lying inside, hanging limply in his restraints. Most of the wounds she observed were superficial, but the blood spatter appeared to have been caused by a particularly long shard of glass piercing his chest. By her judgement, it wouldn't have entered the chest cavity itself, just beneath his right collarbone, but she _still couldn't tell if he was breathing or not._ She was not going to wait to get a read from her helmet now.

Crawling over the ledge of broken glass like the fool she would curse herself for later, she climbed into the cockpit they had shared not all that long ago. Desperately jerking off her helmet, she pressed her ear to his lips, laughing and crying both when she finally felt the warmth of his breath against her skin. Pulling her friend's helmet off, she pressed her lips to his, kissing him like she'd never kiss him again.

"Ungh...Zel...Zelina?" he mumbled dully into her mouth as he slowly came around.

"It's all right, Wedge," she soothed him, pressing a brief kiss to his forehead before going about the work of stabilizing him. "It's all right now. I've got you. I'll help you."

"Better hurry up in there, Zel," she heard Rex calling up to her. "Someone'll have heard that little tousle of ours. We're not gonna have much time."

XxX

From the moment Zeb had told him Archrem was going to take Arkalia away, Kallus had known he was going to have to make a choice.

It was a choice neither of them would like and it would tear him in two just in the making of it, but it was a choice he would have to make, nonetheless.

His punishment was not going to have to be to watch them die, as he'd only too recently feared, but to live with the knowledge of their fate – Zeb as some kind of bed slave to Kuross, and likely...ultimately a piece of furniture when he grew bored with him, and Arkalia as a lab rat to Archrem and Zaniva, to suffer the atrocities he'd witnessed committed against the children of Project Ash Warrior...to be the ground zero of a new, even deadlier Ash Warrior.

There was no way he was going to allow that to happen. He might actually concede the galaxy to the Empire before he allowed it. The only thing was...he didn't think he could conceivably save both of them. Arkalia was helpless and Zeb was in no condition to assist with their escape. With both going in different directions and so little time now between that and the re-emerged rebel ship's attack on the last interdictor, he would have to prioritize one over the other in order to ensure at least one escaped.

He would have to choose between Zeb and Lia.

And much though every instinct he had _screamed_ to save Lia, cried that she was only a child and he _couldn't_ leave her in the hands of a mad man, that Zeb, at least, might be able to handle himself...that was not the case right now.

Zeb had suffered at Giren Kuross' hands. He could see it in his eyes, feel it in the strength of his grip. Kallus knew he could never know just how _deeply_ his beloved had suffered in the bounty hunter's care. It wasn't so much the physical injuries that concerned the ex-Imperial as it was the psychological ones. Right now, Garazeb Orrelios was _not_ strong enough to withstand what his captor could still do to him. If Kallus let Zeb slip away now, if he let Kuross leave with him as his prisoner, something in him knew he would lose his bondmate forever. Zeb would break. Even if he survived physically, something in him would die, and Alex _could not_ let that be his fate.

And Lia...small as she was, helpless as she was, he also knew Archrem would keep her alive. She was too valuable to his _research_. So...even if she suffered, even if she was in pain...she would still be _alive_ when it was all over. Zeb would not be. If it came down to it...he would have to let her go.

Heart clenching painfully against the revelation, Alex curled his fingers a little more tightly around the bars of Lia's cage, a line of tears flowing quietly down his face.

 _Forgive me...please forgive me...for what I must do...Zeb...Lia..._

"Well, I'll be able to get outta here just as soon as you boys drop that gravity well," Kuross commented as he moved back toward the small family. "We should do this again sometime. I've been paid in full. Just gotta collect my _bonus_."

"If you don't plan to assist in this, then good riddance," Pryce snarled faintly at the man over her shoulder. "Take what's yours and _go._ "

"Can do," Kuross said, almost more to himself, even though he was looking directly at Kallus, his deactivated vibro-shiv bared. "Really has been fun. More fun than I've had in a _long_ time. Get a last good look at your lover boy?" the bounty hunter asked as he seized Kallus by the collar, yanking him in close. Kallus was too preoccupied with the way Zeb _flinched_ between the two of them to worry much on Kuross himself. So he settled for glaring at the other man.

"Well, sure hope ya did. Cuz he's _mine_ now, _Kallus_ ," the bounty hunter said, biting out his name in a mocking tone. As he spoke, his bared shiv drifted slowly upward, leaving Kallus faintly wondering if the man was just going to knife him and have done with it. "Him and me, we're gonna have _so much fun_ tonight. Too bad ya won't be around for it."

"He and I...actually," Kallus pointed out in what was likely the politest 'kriff you' he'd ever managed, both correcting the man's grammar and disabusing him of the notion of just who it was who would next be with the Lasat in his arms.

Kuross just glared at him a long moment, the blade seeming almost to hover between them. But then his look of annoyance changed swiftly to a delighted leer. "Guess you won't have long to hold onto that memory anyway. Maybe ya oughta have somethin' a little more _solid_ to remember 'im by."

Kallus realized what was going to happen only a second before it did, soon enough to feel horror, but too late to do anything to prevent it. Kuross flicked the knife away from him, seizing Zeb's right ear and cleanly severing it with a single stroke of the blade.

Kallus _felt_ Zeb's scream more than heard it, the violent thrum of it reverberant within the very marrow of his bones. For a moment, he held the Lasat tighter, both to keep him _self_ from crying out and to prevent him hurting himself further with his thrashing. All he could really do was crouch there on the floor, trying to keep his lover from moving too much while they were both painted in fresh blood.

Then one of his guards was kicking him, forcing him away from Zeb. Unthinkingly, he fought, struggling to get back to his partner, but his two guards soon had him, each holding one of his shoulders, keeping him pinned between them.

Kuross laughed as he watched the struggle, taking hold of the binders that still held Zeb's wrists. Then he tossed the Lasat's ear at Kallus' knees.

"No substitute for a _real_ Lasat in your bed, granted, but I can't exactly go cuttin' off the parts _I_ wanna enjoy, can I."

"If you _ever_ ," Kallus started, voice deadly as he gathered up Zeb's ear with as much dignity as could be managed, "presume to speak of him in such _base_ terms again...I will do much worse than kill you."

"Worse? Heh, whatcha got in mind that's worse?"

"You lack imagination, Giren Kuross. Do not ask me. I may just _answer_ you."

Again, the monster laughed, dropping Zeb's bound hands to come back toward Kallus, bending down close to him to whisper in his ear, "Y'know, back when I first doped him up, I had him thinking I was you. Got a bit of enthusiasm from our big, strong stud for that one. Maybe I'll do it again tonight. I'll drug his brains out; a cocktail much more _interesting_ than a hallucinogen...somethin' to get 'im _real_ hard for me. Then I'll kriff that noble Lasat guardsman straight into oblivion. And every minute our boy's buried balls' deep in _me_ , I'm gonna make sure he's thinking of _you_. Let me tell ya, _Kal_ , I am gonna be absolutely _dripping_ with him for about a week."

In that moment, Kallus knew fury the like of which he'd never experienced before. Blinding fury and searing anguish, all of it burning at the heart of him with a cold fire.

" _Elysh_ ," he exhaled in rage, his body trembling with the raw strength of the emotion. " _La garrir sir an li serra elyshi, gal ki an alela li serra morrai, an salf gantir shan asaval elyshahn gal or'salf ofirin. Ril san orra vasharyl. Tefsa elysh._ "

Kuross shook his head. "Yeah, me no speak Lasat, pretty boy."

Kallus sneered up at him. "It would do you little good now. From this moment on, all my vow needs mean to _you_ is that you are a dead man walking. So take him from me. Run. Try to hide. It does not matter. You are dead already," he promised.

Glowering at him in anger and maybe more than a little fear, the bounty hunter suddenly seized the side of his head, fingers digging harshly into his scalp as he forced a hard kiss against his mouth.

"There," he bit out. "One last taste of him. D'ya taste him on me, _dead man?_ Been a _pleasure_ doin' business with ya, _Alex_." Then he delivered a painful blow to the side of Kallus' head, one that would've sent him sprawling had he not been in the grip of the two troopers. When the ex-Imperial managed to look up again, it was to see Kuross dragging Zeb from the bridge like a slaughtered hunting trophy, leaving a small trail of blood behind him.

"It's been nice knowin' ya, Alexsandr Kallus," the hunter said to him before the doors slid shut.

"Well...on _that_ lovely note, I had best prepare for departure myself," Archrem said, his voice an unnerving mix of disgust and interest. "I'm sure you won't find my shuttle of much use in this battle."

"Does _everyone_ require me to acknowledge their departure?" Pryce snarled in frustration from her place at the head of the bridge, the battle clearly going poorly. "Just _go._ "

"Wait!" Alex protested when the scientist approached Lia's cage. "Just- just let me hold her. Just once more. _Please._ "

The scientist rolled his eyes but, ultimately, he nodded. "Fine. I suppose even a dead man deserves a last request. Five minutes."

Archrem unlocked the tiny cage, allowing Alex to reach in and pull Lia out. Once she was in his arms, he held her as tightly as he could, kissing the top of her head and doing his best to soothe away her tears. His heart broke a little more at just how tightly her little hands and feet gripped at him. Part of him wanted to just runaway with her when his guards let him to his feet, but he knew they would be dead before they could even reach the door. _Archrem_ wanted Arkalia alive, but Pryce and Thrawn's bridge crew were under no such compulsion.

"I'd like to tell you that everything's all right," he said, moving just a little ways away from the troopers, vaguely noting the prime of their blasters. Arkalia's cries lessened somewhat as he rocked her. "I wish I could tell you that you'll be safe and that no one would ever _dare_ to harm you," he told her, pressing twin kisses to the tips of her twitching ears; and when he continued, his voice was much harder. "But this is no time for lies, _ni ashkerr'aki._ What you _are_ going to be, my Lia, is very, very brave."

There were still tears in her eyes as she looked up at him, not truly understanding what was about to happen. As far as she knew, nothing could harm her while she was in his arms. He loved her and he would protect her. And as true as that was, he could not protect her from this, and the perfect trust in her large green eyes was breaking his heart. Suppressing a fresh shudder, he pressed another kiss to her forehead, trying to be strong for her.

" _Two_ minutes, Agent Kallus," he heard Archrem call out in annoyance. When he looked over at the scientist, it was with a warning glare in his eyes.

" _Sim or'nel nastyr nel ul sylf alsanat,_ " he continued in Lasana, just for her. This moment wasn't _for_ anyone else. " _Lakeras orra neshen ky ul nalliri an, ni amsala, ni Lia, koror bogsyr an san, La_ _ **garrir**_ _sir an...lis san kirad se'an. Orra neshen ka sheviri, orra neshen ko garan, orra neshen ko vyra...lis sylf_ _ **ofir an.**_ _Adanan...gal La. Lis ashkerra an. Lis ashkerra an...shan amsala._ "

He might've said more. There was so much he would've said to her then. But then Archrem was taking hold of her, beginning to pull her from his arms. For a moment...just a moment...he held tighter, not feeling the pain of her claws digging into the fabric of his uniform, piercing his skin. He had to bite down on a plea to leave her be.

Finally, when he knew he would only hurt her more by continuing to hold on, he let her go, almost relishing the pain of it as her little claws tore free of his skin. The moment she was out of his arms, his two guards forced him back into binders.

She struggled as Archrem forced her back into the cage, beginning to cry again.

" _Dan-Dan!_ _ **Dan-Dan!**_ " she cried out, her tiny voice tearing at his heart. That...dan-dan? It couldn't be- _adan?_ Could it? Father?

 _Dada?_

Did he even still have a heart left to break?

He forced himself to keep his eyes on the kit as Archrem carried her from the room. Forced himself to look at the terror and the desperation in her eyes as they were torn apart. Even if he _did_ manage to save them both, even if he was able to rescue her today, he knew it was a look that would haunt his nightmares.

The moment she was gone, however, he locked his hopelessly mangled heart away, forcing himself back into agent mode. His feelings would not save Zeb and Lia.

Only action would do that.

Tuning himself back into the space battle he'd only vaguely been monitoring before, he found Arihnda Pryce struggling to regain control of the situation. From what he could see on the monitors, a team of Mandalorian warriors was quite literally swarming over the interdictor. And glancing out the bridge viewports toward the cruiser itself, he could see the distinct green flash of a familiar lightsaber blade.

 _Ezra!_

He had to get Zeb to them. It might be the only chance he had of getting the Lasat out alive. But there wasn't going to be much time. If he knew the young Jedi at all, things would soon be blowing up in a big way.

Pryce, at least, would be easy to slip out from under. Unlike Thrawn.

"What was that you said about not losing to this rabble?" he subtly mocked the Lothal governor. "Thrawn's not going to be happy with you making a mess of his fleet."

Pryce's eyes flashed with fury as she looked back at him, and he saw the moment that fury brimmed over into a petty, impulsive, foolish decision.

"Throw this traitor out the airlock!" she hissed at his two guards, and Kallus did at least make a _little_ bit of a show of fighting back against them, but ultimately allowed himself to be forced into a turbolift for his impromptu 'execution'.

Escape would have been a more difficult proposition had he still been under the guard of Thrawn's death troopers, but it was almost too easy to take out his storm trooper escort, knocking them both out and slipping free of his restraints, arming himself with both their blaster, quickly rerouting the turbolift to the hangar level.

The moment he emerged into the hangar bay, he took cover, surveying his surroundings. The bay was largely empty, as the capital ship's crew complement was engaged in the battle, but that still left the handful of ground control staff he had to work his way around, making his way toward the non-military docks. There was only one ship docked there, and Kallus was just in time to see Zeb's feet disappear up the craft's boarding ramp.

Resisting the urge to charge after them, Kallus went first to the section's control booth, swiftly taking out the two operators on duty. He then proceeded to jack into the ship's control log and give it a port lock command. Kuross was not going anywhere without his say so. He noted the name of the bounty hunter's ship with a shudder.

 _Hunter's Prize_.

Continuing to carefully skirt the notice of the bay's security system, Kallus headed back to the _Hunter's Prize_ , moving stealthily up the boarding ramp and onto the ship. No doubt Kuross was occupied with the fact that he'd been locked to the dock.

When he didn't immediately spot Zeb or Kuross, he headed for the ship's bridge, setting his impromptu weapons for stun. As he drew closer, he soon found himself hearing the bounty hunter's angry voice.

"Seriously, you guys? Comm silence? If you little kriffers don't tell me _exactly_ why ya have me on lockdown this kriffing instant, I'm comin' out there. I've got-"

Kallus didn't waste time announcing his presence to the hunter. He gave the man a single shot to the back of the head, sending him sprawling across his own console. And much though he would've liked to just kill the man and have it over with, the rational part of his mind knew there was still the possibility he would need this man alive. So he settled instead for a hard blow to the back of Kuross' head with one of his blasters, ensuring that he would _stay_ knocked out. He then went in search of Zeb.

It took him longer than he would've liked, but he found his lover locked up in a somewhat ramshackle brig, bound in place with binders and heavy chains.

"Zeb," he whispered as he moved into the space. " _Stars_ \- just hold on. I'll get you out."

Once he'd released his partner from the chains binding him, the Lasat collapsed into his arms, the sheer weight of him taking them both to the floor. "Oh...Zeb..."

"Ungh...Alex...Alex..." the former guardsman mumbled deliriously, barely conscious.

"It's me," he reassured him, pressing a quick kiss to his lips. "I'm here."

"W- where's-"

"There's no time," he warned him. "Can you walk? Can you move at all?"

Kallus waited several moments for a response, feeling his his heart crack a little further when Zeb shook his head.

"Don't...no. I don't- remember what he did. Somethin's broke...left leg," he answered, and when Kallus took a proper look at the ankle joint, he could see that it was swollen, lying awkwardly against the right leg.

"Can you walk if I help you?" Kallus tried, the thought of having to drag Zeb anywhere leaving him more than a little nauseous.

Zeb groaned in pain before sitting up. "Only one way to find out."

It was a struggle, but they eventually managed to get him upright, Zeb leaning heavily against Kallus. Once he was certain he was steady beneath Zeb's weight, the ex-Imperial began to lead the way out of the ship.

"Where- where's Kali?" Zeb asked him, causing Kallus' stomach to twist in a knot.

"Archrem has her. Likely he's readying his shuttle for departure even now."

"Then...then we gotta go get her!" Zeb tried to argue.

"I will. But I have to get _you_ out of here first," he answered, almost happy he didn't have to look up at Zeb then.

"What- _no!_ " Zeb snarled, coming a little more out of his daze as he tried to halt their forward motion without much success. "We can't- what if he gets away?"

"It was a risk I had to take."

"But you-"

"Zeb, you _can't walk,_ " he scolded him harshly. "You are in _no condition_ to fight right now. If I had left you to him, you would've died. But Zaniva will not kill Lia. She's too valuable to them. I will do everything I can to get to her, but I'm getting you out first."

Whatever Zeb might've said in response was interrupted when the intruder alarm began to blare overhead. Kallus ignored it, making his stead way in the direction of the bay's line of escape pods.

"What about you?" Zeb pressed him. " _When_ you get our daughter back, how are _you_ getting out?"

"The _Phantom_ would've been readied for impound when Kuross brought it in. With everything going on, I doubt it's there yet. Load in for impound is on the far side of the bay. I'll get her and get to it."

"I'm smellin' a lot a' _ifs_ in that plan, Alex," the Lasat ground out.

"If you've got any better ideas, let's hear them," he bit out.

"Fine! No. But you'n me are gonna have to stop dancin' around escape pods."

"Anytime, _ni alitha_ ," he said as they drew up to the pod dock. "Ezra's brought Sabine. There's a ship out there now taking down the last interdictor. You need to get to that ship," he explained, half-shoving the Lasat into the first pod in the line.

"You can't just-" Zeb tried to argue again, attempting to take a step back out of the pod, but Kallus was easily able to shove him back, speaking to his level of injury. "Please- don't go this alone. Don't make me leave. You're half-dead yourself."

At his words, Kallus did begin to feel it – the fact that his adrenaline was beginning to wear off...that he was truly beginning to _feel_ the beating he had taken at Thrawn's hands only a few hours ago.

Had it really only been a few hours? Already it felt like a lifetime.

"I know what I'm doing," he said in response, voice gentle despite the blare of the alarms overhead, trying to reassure his lover. "This is the only way."

"Alex, don't do this," the Lasat tried one last time.

Alex flinched when he heard the sound of blaster fire tearing into the hangar, but he didn't look away from Zeb. He smiled for him. If this was to be their end, he didn't want them to part on bad terms.

" _Garazeb...La rokir rrazehan. An san ni Tinsana._ Go, my love," he said before sealing the pod shut and ejecting it out into space.

In all likelihood, his lover's last look of dread would be burned into his eyes for a very long time, but he had no time to consider that now.

Now he had to fight his way to Arkalia. And stars help the poor fool who attempted to stand between him and his little girl.

XxX

When Jorrah first received the transmission, he thought it was something from Ezra or one of Sabine's warriors, though he was confused as to why someone would be sending something outside of expected comms chatter. Since the _Nightbrother_ had no EVA gear that would fit his body, there wasn't much he could do to help the strike team except take the gunner's position while Chopper piloted. As such, he was listening intently for anything more he could do to help. So when the droid noted that they were receiving a transmission at all with several confused whistles, the young Lasat immediately jumped on it, trying to figure out what was happening.

"I'm not sure," Jorrah responded to the astromech's questioning warbles. "Looks like coordinates and..."

 _Benu Inkana._

 _My life is in your hands._

"Zeb," he breathed in shock, gaze immediately tracking the field to where the coordinates indicated and, sure enough, an escape pod was drifting there, struggling to maintain position. "It's Zeb!"

Over the sudden explosion of Chopper's warbling and beeping, Jorrah raised his friend on the comm. "Ezra! I've got a message from Zeb!"

" _What?_ " the young Jedi's voice snapped through the link. "Where is he? What's going on?"

"In an escape pod. Looks like they just jettisoned from the _Chimaera_. I'm going after them."

"Right," Ezra's words came through again after a hesitant silence. "Just hurry. We're gonna need a pickup here _real_ soon."

"Can do," Jorrah said, taking the controls from Chopper and making for the drifting pod.

 _Hang on, Zeb. Just_ _ **hang on.**_ _I'm almost there._

The escape from Manaan and the birth of little Zeb and Ezra being the only possible exceptions, those were likely the most tense five minutes of his life so far. His heart raced as he zeroed in on the pod, just drifting in open space. It would be only too easy for a stray shot to catch that pod and end it all...

 _Hold on!_

He let out a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding when the gauntlet fighter clamped onto the escape pod.

"Chopper, get us back to the interdictor!" he snapped out as he leapt from the pilot's seat. "I'm going to help them."

The young Lasat was ready and waiting when the hatches between the two crafts finally unsealed, but he'd been expecting to help a Lasat, a kit, _and_ a human aboard the fighter, which was why he was surprised and more than a little worried when only Zeb climbed up out of the escape pod.

"Zeb, where- where are the other two? Where are Ari and Kallus?"

But before he could press any further, Jorrah started to notice exactly what sort of condition the former guardsman was in. Unable to walk, he simply sprawled out on the floor of the fighter. Several wounds, both fresh and reopened, were seeping out blood on his fur and clothing. One ankle looked to be broken. Really, there were just a whole slough of both minor and not so minor injuries that culminated to form the end result. The worst of these that was immediately apparent to the young Lasat was the fact that his right ear had been almost completely sliced off.

"Kali...Alex..." he cried out over and over again as the _Nightbrother_ raced back to the battle. Before they had even rejoined the fighting, Zeb had passed out altogether, no longer able to maintain whatever it was that had been keeping him conscious.

XxX

 _Someday,_ Rex thought bitterly as he took out another approaching buckethead, _someday I'm gonna_ _ **not**_ _get myself mixed up with kids with bleeding hearts._

But it was not this day, apparently. As Rex had predicted, someone had heard their scuffle and come running. Now a cadre of troopers was trying to close in around them while he, Tiri, and Jidu maintained a perimeter around Wedge's A-wing, giving Zel the time she needed to make sure the kid wasn't going to die. And all the while, lightning seemed almost to pour down from the sky.

"This is not- typical of Atollon's weather, I take it?" the former guardswoman called out to him and Jidu.

"Nope. Sure isn't," he answered, hitting a second trooper right through the eye.

"What the kriffing kriff is going on out there?" Jidu asked neither in particular.

"Actually, Ji, when Jedi and less than explainable phenomena are involved, you sorta just have to go with it," he called to her.

Tiri jumped back when a bolt of lightning struck very near her position.

"Really hope all's going well up there, Zel!" Jidu called to the younger rebel. "Things are getting really weird out here!"

"You stick a shard of glass through your chest and see how much _you_ like it!" the young medic's voice snapped back, no sign of her emerging from the downed fighter.

But then the storm seemed to grow eyes and actually started _speaking_ and Rex was just a hundred percent done with all of it.

"Y'know, way back when, this would've seemed really strange to me!" he shouted into the howling wind.

"And now?" Tiri asked, taking out the last of their assailants.

"Now I'm just gonna say 'kark it' and ask the kriffin' thing down for tea!" he snapped.

"Tiri, I need some help!" Zelina called out to them, her head appearing through the broken shards of the canopy.

The Lasat quickly leaped up onto the A-wing, and once she was in position, the young Mandalorian began to pass Wedge up through the destroyed canopy. He was conscious now, but didn't seem to be all there. Bandages and gauze were wrapped securely around his chest.

"Rex, are you there? _Rex, where are you?!_ " Kanan's voice was suddenly shouting over the clone's comlink.

"Why do I think _you_ had something to do with this?" Rex demanded of the Jedi in answer.

"Can you think of another Force-user on this planet with a particular talent for _pissing people off?_ " Hera's voice joined Kanan's on the comm.

"Can think of one, but he's technically not on this planet just now."

"Cute, Rex. I really hope you guys are ready for a pickup, because we need to get out of here yesterday," the Jedi informed him.

"Ready and waiting."

And thankfully they _were_ ready by the time the _Ghost_ descended from the angry, churning skies, Jidu and Rex hustling Zelina onboard while Tiri carried Wedge in her arms like a newborn. As the young medic directed Tiri to the infirmary, apparently not caring if they made it past the Imperial blockade or not, Rex and Jidu hurried up to the bridge, _very_ much interested in the outcome.

"I assume we've heard something from Ezra," the clone captain said as he came up behind Kanan, the ship rocking as it barely avoided being hit by another bolt of lightning.

"This is going to get interesting," was all Kanan had to say in response.

XxX

Despite Kallus' determination, the sheer numbers of troopers that were beginning to descend on him were making it difficult to skirt around them or gun them down. What he'd ultimately had to do was disappear into the maintenance corridors, jamming the access panels in order to prevent himself being followed.

As always seemed to be the case today, it took him longer than he wanted to reach the hangar bay's main control booth making his way through corridors that had been designed with much smaller beings in mind, but he did get there, quickly jacking his way into the main system to see which away shuttles were still docked within the _Chimaera_.

And, as with the _Hunter's Prize_ , there was only one. The shuttle was nearly ready for take off.

Kallus' first move was to see if he could port lock the shuttle, as he'd done with Kuross' ship, but he was mere moments too late to stop the shuttle from disengaging from the Star Destroyer's internal systems. What he did instead was shut down the bay's security systems, shifting it into emergency power mode. As emergency red lighting switched on throughout the bay, a transmission came through to the booth.

"Is that you out there, Agent Kallus?" Archrem asked as his holo image flickered to life above the comms console. "So sorry to disappoint you, but I'm afraid you won't be preventing our leaving today."

As Kallus looked at the human's image, he couldn't quite help noticing that something had been added. The scientist had a bo-rifle strapped to his back.

 _His_ bo-rifle.

"You have something that doesn't belong to you, _Doctor_ ," he snapped as he moved into the man's view. "More than one something, in fact."

"Do you like it?" the scientist asked with a sneer, shifting to show off his prize. "A gift from the grand admiral. After all, we _will_ have to arm our dear princess one day."

"You will do no such thing," Kallus snarled. "Keep the rifle if you like, but _let her go_. You're _not taking her!_ "

"And what will you do to stop me, Agent?" the doctor hissed back. "Shoot my shuttle down? With your precious prize still aboard?" he taunted, pulling Arkalia's cage into the holo image, rattling it as he held it up threateningly for Kallus to see. He almost managed to ignore the feel of his heart breaking at the sound of her terrified sobs.

Almost.

"No," he began in a quiet voice. "The only thing I will do is promise. Promise that if you leave her here now and go your way, I will never trouble you again. But know that if you take my daughter from me, there will be nowhere in the galaxy you can hide. I will find you...and I will _end you_. _That_ is my promise, Doctor Garst Archrem."

"Your _daughter?_ " the scientist repeated in a mocking tone. "You aided in the destruction of her people. You bore witness to the execution of her entire family. What _daughter_ is she to you?"

"She is mine," Kallus hissed through the painful clench of his throat, feeling the sting of tears behind his eyes. "In all but blood, Arkalia Selvarrio is my child, and family is _so_ much more than blood, Archrem. But _you_ aren't capable of understanding that."

"Well, have your little hunt if you must, Alexsandr Kallus. For my part, I will be returning to the _Demon's Run_. Heheh, though it is somewhat amusing, I suppose. I hear you are a reader of Sallah. Do you know the origin of the name of my Star Destroyer?" he asked before cutting the connection altogether. Kallus then saw the running lights of the shuttle as it moved past the control booth, heading for the bay exit. Kallus immediately started to run, making for the impound load dock, guided by nothing more than the strips of red emergency lights glowing up from the floor.

Of course he knew the origin of the name. The closing lines of the soliloquy Sallah had written for her young Revan just before his entry into the Mandalorian Wars. And as he ran through the red-threaded darkness, the lines streamed unhelpfully through his mind like words on a screen.

 _Demons run_

 _When a good man goes to war_

 _Night will fall and drown the sun_

 _When a good man goes to war_

Even in the dark, he managed to reach the _Phantom II_ , his lungs burning and his body starting to give out on him, But he fought through the pain and exhaustion, getting the shuttle up and running. With security deactivated, it was easy enough to disconnect the shuttle from the system.

Archrem's own shuttle was already out in open space. The only thing keeping it there was the gravity well from the interdictor.

 _Friendship dies and true love lies_

 _Night will fall and the dark will rise_

 _When a good man goes to war_

But just as he was tapping into the Rebel comms network to get out a message, the first thing he heard was a transmission from Ezra to the rest of the cell.

"Hera, we took out the interdictor."

" _No!_ " Kallus shouted, not hearing anything else the young Jedi said. Gaze darting out the shuttle's viewport, he could just make out the fleeing Imperial shuttle among the field of stars.

 _Lia!_

But then the shuttle was gone, jumped to hyperspace all in an instant. And Arkalia was gone with it.

"No," Kallus whispered this time, falling to his knees before the console.

He had known. Of _course_ he had known, but that didn't make the choice he had made any easier to bear. Arkalia had been taken. Their daughter had been taken by the Empire and it was _his fault._

 _Demons run, but count the cost_

 _The battle's won, but the child is lost_

XxX

It was several hours later that the _Phantom II_ docked with the _Ghost_ and the rest of Phoenix Cell. Alex hadn't been able to make the jump with the rest of them, but he'd been able to escape the _Chimaera_ not long after.

He'd just had some business to take care of first.

"Alex, what happened?" Hera demanded as the hatches between the two ships opened to allow the ex-Imperial into the freighter. "You say you're all right and then I get nothing but comm silence for two hours. What did you..."

Hera's voice fell off into a shocked gasp when the former agent stepped onto her ship dragging something behind him. As he moved past her, she could see that it was Giren Kuross, gagged, thoroughly bound, and probably distinctly worse for wear. She almost didn't grip it when Kallus passed a small deep freeze unit into her hands.

"What- what's-"

"Don't open that until Zelina's ready to reattach it."

The other members of Spectre Cell came to a similar shocked halt when they came to the entryway.

The only one who was not among them was the only one he really wanted to see.

Kallus moved several steps past the Spectres before releasing his grip on the bounty hunter. Then he kept walking, saying not a word.

He moved silently through the ship, past clusters upon clusters of displaced rebel fighters. Many didn't know him. Others did. Whatever response they had to him and his uniform, he didn't acknowledge them. He just kept walking, haunted amber eyes staring at nothing.

He knew the way through the ship now.

Zeb was laid out on his bunk, sleeping fitfully. Most of his injuries had been patched cursorily back together. The right side of his head had been thoroughly bandaged, but blood was already beginning to spot through.

At the far end of the little berth was the cradle that Sabine had so lovingly painted for Arkalia. It was too small for her now, but a piece of each member of the Spectre family was still represented on its surface – painted stripes for Zeb, stylized struts for Chopper, Ahsoka's lekku pattern, the echoed Jaig eyes for Rex and Kanan, the green circle pattern of Hera's lekku, a loth cat for Ezra, the phoenix insignia for Sabine, his own Fulcrum symbol on the inside...

...and Arkalia's own two tiny handprints right at the front.

Moving toward the cradle, Alex allowed a hand to trail over the simple, heartfelt imprint, and felt his heart break all over again. The sound of Arkalia's laughter echoed in his mind.

Turning away from the tiny work of art in quiet agony, Alex moved over to Zeb's bunk, falling to his knees at his beloved's side. Several tears slipped free as he reached out a hand to tenderly caress the side of the Lasat's face. Then he drew one of Zeb's hands up to his face, pressing gentle kisses to each of his fingers.

"This is my fault. I'm so sorry, my love. Please...please forgive me. I did my very best."

"Alex...?"

Looking up in amazement to see his lover awake, Alex choked back a small sob.

"You're alive," the Lasat whispered, reaching up that hand to draw Alex down into a loving kiss. But when they separated and Zeb took a moment to wipe some of his tears away with his thumb, there was a look of knowing despair in his eyes. "Kali?"

"Zeb...I'm so sorry. I _tried_. I did everything I could," he pleaded, voice going high before breaking down altogether.

Neither of them said anything after that. Zeb weakly pulled Alex onto the bunk with him and they held each other as they wept. Later they would plan, later they would heal and make themselves ready to face hell or high water to get their little girl back.

But for now, they simply lay together and cried.

XxX

(A/N) Okay. Let's take a moment and breathe. Nobody's dead. Well...nobody except Sato, but we knew that was coming. Zeb's even getting his ear back. And they will get their baby girl back from those nasty Imperials. They'lll just...have to suffer being without her for a time.

And before I give you my copious amounts of translation notes for this chapter, my only other note is in regards to to the little rhyme there at the end. I imagine some of you know it, as it's from Doctor Who. That particular episode inspired this plot line, so I wanted to include it in some way, plus it just seems like something a Shakespearian version of pre-fall Revan would say. So, hopefully I stole your breath a few times and jerked a few tears from you. Til next we meet, dear readers, adieu.

Translations:

 _Ashla na silir. Ashla na rever. Na velenir sir an -_ Ashla save me. Ashla hold me. Guide me to you

 _La'n torril, ni ashkerra. La'n torril...Tinsana'ka_ \- I'm here, my love. I'm here...precious Bondmate.

 _La'n...torril. La'n- araz torril. Tef...na rever zalv sir. Na nakir torril._ \- I'm...here. I'm- still here. Just...hold onto me. Keep me here.

 _Mayba an fallir, ni ashkerra...ni ashkerra'ka -_ Anything you need, my love...my precious love

 _N'aribir...n'aribir an n'ashkerrir -_ Tell me...tell me you love me

 _L'ashkerrir an. An san ni zash. An or'velkir rokir ko azaln La san an san zalial. -_ I love you. You are my life. You cannot know how happy I am you are alive.

 _N'aribir ka san shevad_ \- Tell me what's happening

Ka? - What?

 _In reva. Luah san araz kol lis. Tefsa...Thrawn san sovad meshym se arrag athil -_ It held. They are still with us. Only...Thrawn is making ready for a ground assault

 _Ul'n valad nallatah. Archrem...ul'n valad nallat nis emeran fillal sa lis. An or'velkir sillirul- -_ He's going to take her. Archrem...he's going to take our baby girl from us. You cannot let him-

 _La sylf sultir ka La fal nakat an mentu silan. La rokir an san veryn mal...sim La fallir an zonat nakatin nel li...se'ah. -_ I will do what I must to keep you both safe. I know you are hurting now...but I need you to try to keep it together...for her.

La sylf zonir. Se'ah - I will try. For her

Elysh. _La garrir sir an li serra elyshi, gal ki an alela li serra morrai, an salf gantir shan asaval elyshahn gal or'salf ofirin. Ril san orra vasharyl. Tefsa elysh._ \- Death. I swear to you a thousand deaths, and when you have died a thousand times, you shall seek the sweet release of death and shall not find it. There is no forgiveness. Only death.

 _ni ashkerr'aki -_ my little love

 _Sim or'nel nastyr nel ul sylf alsanat. Lakeras orra neshen ky ul nalliri an, ni amsala, ni Lia, koror bogsyr an san, La_ _ **garrir**_ _sir an...lis san kirad se'an. Orra neshen ka sheviri, orra neshen ko garan, orra neshen ko vyra...lis sylf_ _ **ofir an.**_ _Adanan...gal La. Lis ashkerra an. Lis ashkerra an...shan amsala_ \- But not as brave as he will have to be. Because no matter where he takes you, my princess, my Lia, however afraid you are, I _swear_ to you...we are coming for you. No matter what happens, no matter how hard, no matter how far...we will _find you_. Your father...and I. We love you. We love you...sweet princess

 _La rokir rrazehan. An san ni Tinsana -_ I know your name. You are my Bondmate


	20. Don't Close Your Eyes

(A/N) Phew! Okay, busy holidays and all. So sorry to keep everyone waiting. Still alive out there? I'd hoped to finish this before TROS dropped, but that just didn't happen. Ah, well. So yes, there's definitely torture in this chapter. I'll leave it up to your good judgement just how much you can handle. I suppose there's technically underage happening in this chapter as well, but it's really just a pair of awkward teenagers doing awkward teenage things. Other than that, I believe we're ready to proceed. Enjoy!

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 20: Don't Close Your Eyes (God Knows What Lies Behind Them)_

 _Green eyes._

 _Round, bright, beautiful green eyes._

 _Normally those eyes are a comfort to him. But now he sees them wide in fear_ – _fear_ _and betrayal. He sees their owner standing on the steps of the palace...just before everything vanishes in white._

 _He hears him scream._

 _"Zeb! NO!"_

 _The horrifying white resolves itself into the sterile silver and white of a cell...a cell that lies klicks below the surface of the ocean...and on the floor of that cell he sees his lover lying, naked and helpless while the scientist takes what he wants._

 _ **You did this.**_ _ **You**_ _**brought him to this!**_

 _ **NO! I didn't know! I- I didn't**_ _ **know!**_

 _ **Didn't you, though?**_

 _"You did," Schader Masaada hisses in his ear. "You_ _ **must**_ _know. Exactly the sorts of situations you get the people you care about into."_

 _Again, he hears Zeb screaming...sees the hated coffin-like device that keeps his love imprisoned...and he sees Schader ready to destroy it. Only this time she holds Arkalia in her arms._

 _"Ash Warrior would not exist without your efforts on Lasan that day. Neither would your darling girl. But then you_ _ **know**_ _that. Don't you."_

 _She flings Arkalia to the floor. He goes to her with a cry but before he can gather her in his arms, he sees a change happening in her eyes._

 _For a moment, it's fear. Fear and pain. But then it all melts away as something in those wide, innocent eyes dies. Then there's just nothing. It's the same empty nothingness he saw in the eyes of the young Lasat woman he faced beneath the ocean._

 _"No..."_

 _Then years pass before his eyes in only a moment and she stands before him a woman grown. A full product of Project Ash Warrior._

 _"My little girl...my Lia..._ _ **no.**_ _"_

 _"Father."_

 _The word falls from her lips like an ugly curse. Her expression remains unchanged as his bo-rifle appears in her hands._

 _"It seems I truly am your child, Alexsandr Kallus."_

 _Then the weapon ignites and she's leaping at him._

 _He moves without thinking, raising the weapon he suddenly holds to block her strike. And as he looks across their tangled staffs at her face, bathed in gold and purple light, he realizes it's_ _ **Zeb's**_ _bo-rifle he wields._

 _"Please! Stop!" he begs as she comes at him again, barely managing to stand beneath her blows. "Lia, I don't want to fight you!_ _ **Please!**_ _"_

 _"Shoulda thought of that before ya made your choice. You knew what they would do to her."_

 _It isn't Schader beside the sens-dep unit anymore. It's Kuross. Holding his vibro-shiv, stained with Zeb's blood, he smashes the hilt into the control panel._

 _Before he can even scream, Arkalia delivers another hard blow, forcing him back against a wall. Gaze darting back to Kuross, he sees him opening the sens-dep unit. Zeb tumbles out, unconscious but breathing. The bounty hunter slowly takes the former guardsman in his arms, looking up at him with a mocking sneer as he begins to stroke the Lasat's neck._

 _"Ya know it? Don't ya? What happened to 'em is your fault?" Kuross taunts him as Arkalia forces her weapon against his throat, the black metal cutting off his air. "You know...some part of her will always belong to them...and some part of_ _ **him**_ _will never leave the cell where I kriffed him."_

 _"You...you-" he tries to choke out, unable to get more air for Arkalia's hold on him._

 _"Heheh. Me," the hunter continues to taunt, tongue flicking out to taste the tip of Zeb's ear as he traces his free hand possessively down the Lasat's side. "Can ya ever get him back from me? Fact is in tryin' to save both of 'em, ya_ _ **lost**_ _'em both. Ya lost what ya had and ya can't ever get it back."_

 _The last sight he has is of Arkalia's face, cold and impassive, before she draws back his bo-rifle and impales him with it._

Kallus bolted from the nightmare with a small scream, a hand clawing at his chest as he sat straight up. It didn't take him long to understand he'd only been dreaming but, even so, the phantom pain of being stabbed and electrocuted still lingered in his mind.

Casting off the thin blanket he'd been lying under, he drew a knee up to his chest, hugging it there briefly. For the most part, he'd managed to avoid sleep the past week, but there were times, like last night, where he just couldn't force himself to keep going anymore. He supposed either Orianne or Zelina had gotten him to the pallet somehow, as the argument over whether or not he _could_ sleep in the med ward was long done. But when he _did_ sleep, well...that was when the nightmares crept in.

He'd been hiding out in the med ward almost from the moment the _Ghost_ had touched down on Yavin IV. Zeb had gone straight into surgery and, from there, straight to a bacta tank. Kallus had allowed for cursory treatment of his own injuries, but had refused to leave the Lasat's side. Even though his injuries were healing as expected, Zeb still hadn't regained consciousness. As Kallus looked up now at the tank where his lover floated, he could see that nothing had changed. Zeb still drifted, unconscious and unknowing within the thick fluid.

"Zeb," he said softly as he climbed to his feet, laying his hand against the plexiglass. "My love...what can I do? There _has_ to be something I can _do_."

"You could start with eating some of those protein packs we keep leaving you," Orianne said as she entered the little room.

"And _you_ could stop wasting rations on a being who isn't actually being productive," he couldn't quite help snapping at the Zabrak woman, fingers curling against the cool surface of the tank in frustration before he allowed his hand to fall back to his side. The medic eyed him up and down for several moments before speaking again.

"I don't know how they do things in the Empire, but that isn't how things work here. So long as you're breathing, you've got a right to rest and nourishment. I might even consider suggesting you need access to a psychiatrist at some point in the near future. You _were_ tortured, after all," she pointed out.

"Not really," he said, laughing bitterly as he shook his head. "Zeb was the one they tortured, not me."

Orianne shook her head right back. "Just because it wasn't physical doesn't mean you weren't tortured. You had to watch someone you love dearly suffer. Thrawn _knew_ what that would do to you...having to watch the man you love be tortured and be unable to do anything about it. In some ways...a _lot_ of ways...that's worse than any physical torture ever could be. He knows how to break his enemies down, does Thrawn. Knows how to get inside their heads. Do you really want to let him win?"

Kallus shrugged. "Does the Alliance actually have any psychiatrists in its employ?"

"A few," Orianne sniffed. "And don't think I don't have enough clout to request that one be sent."

"Oh, I wouldn't doubt it," he said. In the brief time he'd known the woman, she struck him as nothing so much as a force of nature. Whatever her actual rank was, it seemed to him she could gain the ear of anyone she had to in order to do what needed doing.

"Kallus? You still in here?" Kanan's voice was suddenly sounding in the room, followed quickly by the Jedi's actual entrance. Instead of Ezra or Sabine with him, though, it was Jidu.

"I believe you know I am," he returned, gaze moving back to the knight.

"Apologies in advance, but we couldn't keep them off the scent any longer," the blind warrior said.

"Them?"

"Yes. Them," a new voice answered as its owner entered the space – an aging rebel officer Kallus quickly surmised was a general from the insignia on his jacket. He was accompanied by Hera and another, younger human – a man with wavy brown hair and dark eyes. He had the bearing of one who was older, but Kallus still got the impression that he was young. Couldn't be any older than twenty-five at most.

Almost from the moment he'd heard the first man's voice, Kallus had known he was stepping into a game of dejarik. This man meant to intimidate him, to assert his dominance from the onset. Well, whatever his actual position in the Alliance was now, Kallus was not going to play this game. Or, at the very least, he was not going to play it the way the general was expecting him to. He was only too familiar with the type, having dealt with it often enough even before he'd been an ISB agent. It was the sort of man his father had been, and while Orrin Syfarre had never been intelligent enough to use it to his proper advantage, it had given the teenaged Kallus experience enough in how to deal with it.

The general came to a stop several meters from him, his display not immediately threatening, but clearly attempting to make a power play by forcing Kallus to move closer to him in order to converse properly. Kallus didn't move an inch from where he stood beside the bacta tank. Rather than convey either open hostility or servility, he took the way in the middle. He neither stood at attention for the general nor remained relaxed. Instead, he fell into a simple parade rest stance, neither challenging nor retreating. Simply waiting, prepared to weather whatever moves the general might attempt.

"Alex," Hera began, once again very pointedly using his given name in this somewhat official situation, "this is General Davits Draven, head of Rebel Intelligence. General Draven, this-"

"I know who he is," the human interrupted her, not taking his eyes off of Kallus. "Agent ISB-021, Alexsandr Kallus. Yularen's favorite. Brightest star of the Imperial Security Bureau."

He was accusing, trying to put him on the defensive from the get go. Much though Kallus wanted to protest the use of his former titles, he kept his head.

"Apologies, General, but you seem to have forgotten Codename Fulcrum. The only agent to be hand-selected by the original Fulcrum, Ahsoka Tano."

Kallus saw annoyance flash in the man's eyes at this, but he gave no more response than that. He simply glared condescendingly as he continued. "Indeed. But she is not here to explain that decision to us, is she. I, in the meantime, am left to provide for the safety of this new installation with no more than the word of a failed Jedi and a potential Imperial plant."

"I am _not_ Imperial," Kallus said, keeping his voice even. "I will have that understood before another word is spoken."

"Are you not?" Draven pressed. "Any particular reason you're still hanging onto the uniform then?"

Thrawn had done him the liberty of removing his armor before, and in the days since, he had shed even more of his old uniform. He was now down to the undershirt, the pants, and the boots. Even so, what remained was still very Imperial in appearance.

"Do _you_ have spare clothing I might borrow, General? Even if you do, I doubt it would be much of a fit. Not a lot of men on this base share my particular dimensions, so until such an opportunity for a change of clothing presents itself, I am just as content not to waste resources on something that isn't a problem."

"All right. Then why has Spectre Cell been concealing your location all week? Intelligence has been attempting to get ahold of you for a proper debriefing. It rather leaves one wondering if the allegiance of Spectre Cell as a whole ought to be called into question."

Kallus winced slightly at that. " _If_ my friends have been deliberately withholding my location, I am inclined to say it is out of concern for my- _emotional_ wellbeing," he conceded. "I was, after all, forced to witness the torture of my partner and the kidnap of our daughter."

"So you do admit that the relationship between yourself and Captain Orrelios is of more than a professional nature?"

"Admit, General? This has never been concealed. How it relates to the current line of questioning, I could not _begin_ to guess."

"Oh, it relates, Agent. It relates to every word that comes out of your mouth or his. Because _if_ this relationship of yours has truly become that intimate, then Captain Orrelios' actions must all be called into question. If the two of you have engaged in _sexual_ relations, you could have easily been manipulating him," Draven pointed out.

"If?" Kallus repeated with a small shake of his head. "I can _promise_ you we have. If you would like a full report, I can offer you the _details_ , but you would gain nothing from them but wasted time. Besides, I don't know how it can have escaped your notice, but Captain Orrelios isn't exactly available for questioning at the moment."

"I want it understood, General, that Alex has our full confidence," Hera stepped in. "He's already risked his freedom and his life for this rebellion more times than I can count, even when it would've done him much better not to."

"And indeed, any double agent worth their salt would need to convince his would-be allies of these things. I would be greatly remiss in my duties as head of Intelligence if I were to just trust this man out of hand. He is not, after all, merely an Imperial. He is ISB. If any in the Empire could wile their way into a rebel cell undetected, it would be an ISB agent. I for one would be more open for discussing trial and execution than debriefing."

"But that's-"

"You can't just-"

"All right," Kallus was the one to concede, despite the protests of his friends, his simple words cowing them all into silence. "If you wish to try and execute me, that is your right. I cannot fault you for desiring to keep the safety of this installation. After all, I nearly gave my own life in exchange for that safety. I have little doubt I am deserving of execution many times over. But if that is to be your decision, then I ask only that you forestall your judgement until I have had the opportunity to save my daughter's life."

"The Lasat child?"

"Arkalia. Her name is Arkalia, and she's been taken captive by an Imperial deep science division. My life is of little consequence, but I _cannot_ die until she is safe. After that, you can do whatever you want with me."

"If you care for this child so much, isn't it interesting, then, that her capture was a direct result of your _betrayal_ of Phoenix Cell?"

"Draven, that's _not fair_ ," Hera immediately began to argue for him. Alex himself gave a shuddering sigh.

"I had no choice," he said softly, though his stance remained firm. "They would have _killed_ her had I not done it. I was prepared to lay down my own life in service of this cause, but I couldn't make such a choice for a little girl who doesn't even understand the meaning of the word 'war'. And if you believe that you _could_ , General, you are either a monster yourself or have simply never been faced with such a choice."

Draven surveyed him for a long moment at this. The response he ultimately gave was, perhaps, not one any of them were expecting.

"Perhaps I am that. Often enough it falls to Intelligence to make the ugly decisions, after all. Even so, I am not inclined to simply trust you, Agent Kallus. I find your terms acceptable, but in the meantime, it is my intention to assign Captain Cassian Andor to you as a sort of...probationary officer, if you will. He will observe your actions, all of your comings and goings, and we will see what his judgement of you is. If, by the time the girl is rescued, he judges you to still have Imperial leanings, I will call for trial. Are we agreed, Agent Kallus?"

"We are," the ex-Imperial returned with a slight incline of his head.

"Good. Doctor, Captain, Jarrus, Ailytè, _Agent_ ," he acknowledged each of them, Kallus more pointedly than the rest, before exiting the ward.

"Sorry about him," Hera said once the man had gone, staring after him a moment. "No one else in high command feels that way. Draven's just- _extremely_ no nonsense."

"Yes, I'd gathered. I know the type quite well," he said, offering the other Spectres a tired smile before shifting his focus to Cassian. "Besides, it was all more about intimidating me than actually fearing my ability to do harm to the Alliance, was it not?" he asked the young intelligence officer, deciding then and there that if he was subject to him, at least for the moment, he had better start including him.

"You are not wrong," the young man answered, eying him coolly. "Imperials understand nothing but fear, after all."

"In kind, you are not wrong, Captain Andor. You will find soon enough that I am _not_ one of them anymore."

"We will see."

"Come on, Cassian. Lighten up," Jidu teased him, actually reaching over and ruffling the very serious-looking man's hair. He shot her a withering look.

"Now, Jidu? Really?"

"Kallus is fine. You'll see. Probably a better spy than the pair of us put together."

"Nothing new to report with Zeb, then?" Hera asked, the conversation immediately becoming serious again as they all looked to the Lasat in the tank.

"Unfortunately, no," Orianne told them. "Physically, he's healing fine. He's just...not waking up."

"Well...perhaps he could do with some uninterrupted sleep," Kallus said softly, hand drifting to rest against the plexiglass once more. "I know he- wasn't sleeping before."

Then, as if he were still the only one in the room with Zeb, he leaned his forehead against the smooth surface of the bacta tank, yearning, _aching_ to be as close to his lover as possible.

" _La rokir rrazehan. An san ni Tinsana. L'ashkerrir an maka zei zash inkasha. La sylf belir se'an. Orra neshen ko arran in nalliri,_ " he whispered against the cool material.

 _But perhaps it's best you don't see what I must do._

"So what are you thinking, Kallus?" Kanan asked him. The ex-Imperial had little doubt the Jedi had sensed what sort of intent had taken form in his mind. "What's the next step?"

"I believe Giren Kuross has been in solitary confinement long enough, don't you?"

XxX

Kuross had been placed in solitary beneath the temple almost the moment they'd touched down at base. At Kallus' order, he had been given only water and an adrenaline patch or two in that time. Both the isolation and the starvation were plainly beginning to wear on him when Kallus entered his cell, flanked by Kanan and Cassian. The bounty hunter looked up at him with something mildly unhinged in his gaze as he approached.

"So why ain't I dead yet, Alexsandr?" Kuross asked with a tiny laugh. "Pretty sure you said you were gonna kill me yourself."

"I did say that, yes," Kallus responded coolly as he pulled a chair across the cell, sitting himself down in front of his bound captive. "But we have things to discuss first, you and I."

"Heheh, what? You want _details?_ Wanna know what I _did_ to him?"

"No. If you utter even a single word of what you did to him out loud, I swear to you it will only go worse for you," the ex-ISB agent said, keeping his voice carefully even, despite the fact that he would've very much enjoyed simply ripping the man's face off.

"Then what is it? Why don't you just put a blaster bolt through my head?" he challenged.

"Don't be dull, _Giren_ ," Kallus said with a cold smile. "You and I both know I can be a great deal more _imaginative_ than simply putting a blaster bolt through your brain."

He saw it then. The flicker of fear in the man's eyes. And he couldn't wholly ignore the fierce spark of _joy_ in his heart at the sight of it.

"I only require one thing of you. And that is that you tell me where the ISD _Demon's Run_ may be located."

The bounty hunter near-guffawed at the request. "What? What- what makes ya think I know _that?_ You'd know better than I would. They can't have changed _all_ their flight plans around in one week."

"You know," Kallus said with total certainty. "You contracted with Zaniva. You would therefore be privy to the hyperspace routes of its military attache. _Demon's Run_ was assigned that duty as part of the Empire's deep science division. None but the Emperor himself and his closest aides have ever been privy to the locations of these Destroyers. But you...you worked for them. You _know_ where the _Demon's Run_ is and you _are_ going to tell me where to find it. Once you've done that, then, and _only_ then, will I kill you."

Again, Kuross laughed in his face. When a bit of spit went flying, Kallus merely brushed it casually from his cheek.

"I- ha- I think ya got this whole bargaining thing a bit backwards there, _Alex_. How it works is I give you the information you want and then you let me go. Got it?"

Kallus shook his head. "I said what I meant, Kuross. _You_ are the one who appears to be under some rather gross misapprehensions about the situation in which you find yourself. So permit me to set the record straight. You are _not_ leaving this cell alive. However much or little of your pathetic existence remains, it will be lived out here. The only item under discussion here today is the exact _amount_ of time."

Kuross glowered at him. "The kriff you talkin' about?"

"Best case scenario," Kallus began, slipping an inactive vibro-shiv from his belt and running it threateningly along the length of the man's arm. "You tell me what I want to know now, right this very minute, and I'll only keep you alive a few weeks. It won't be pleasant for you, but I would at least promise a _mostly_ humane death in that scenario. If you withhold the information from me longer, say a month, I will keep you here for three. I will break every bone in your body, day by day, leaving the neck for the last," Kallus explained, nicking very lightly at his wrist, drawing only a trickle of blood.

"Heh, and you call _me_ the psycho one," the bounty hunter spat out, barely reacting to the little injury. Kallus' only response was to continue.

"Or, worst case scenario, you somehow hold out longer than a month. If that's the way you want this to go, then I will keep you like this for a full _year_. I will keep you alive while I deconstruct your body piece by piece, and I will make certain you feel every _moment_ of the agony. I will _eviscerate_ you and tie you to this chair with your own innards. All quite survivable, I assure you. That done, I will flay you alive. _Slowly_. One piece at a time, I will do to you what you _would_ have done to him _._ That is my promise to you, Giren Kuross."

For a long moment after he'd finished, Kuross just stared at him, the horror slowly building in his eyes.

"What about you?"the bounty hunter tried to appeal to Kanan and Cassian. "Don't _you two_ have anything to say about all this?"

Kanan shrugged. "I don't see anything."

Cassian followed in kind. "I hear nothing."

"But...but..." Kuross started in, attention shifting angrily back to Kallus. "Why in the nine kriffing _hells_ would I just _give you_ the only piece of information keepin' me alive? _Why?_ "

Kallus' gaze went flat and cold as he looked at the man before him, wiping all trace of human compassion from his mind as he remembered how Zeb had flinched from his touch...how _proud_ he had been of the hideous act he had committed.

"There _is_ no way out for you, Kuross. You have hurt my family. You have made _me_ the instrument of their suffering. On more than one occasion, you have laid hands on the man I love without his consent...violated him spiritually and physically. Perhaps you didn't understand the vow I made that day on the bridge, but I promised you a thousand deaths. I will keep that vow. The only choice left to you is just _how_ painful those deaths will be. Every moment you keep my daughter from me, you will only be causing yourself more pain. I will make you pay for every _second_ of their agony in _blood_. And only when you _beg me_ for death, beg on your knees with all that you are...only then will I give it to you."

For several tense moments, the room seemed to hold its breath. Kuross stared at him in silence, abject terror welling and welling in his eyes until, when that overwhelming fear seemed about to overflow and burst into full on panic, the bounty hunter threw his head back and laughed like a madman.

"No way, Kallus! I don't buy it. I'm callin' your bluff here, man. There's no way!"

"Isn't there?" Kallus challenged, his voice still perfectly even. Without actually looking to either of his compatriots, he said quietly, "Bring them in."

Both men started to turn away at his request. Cassian took several steps back before reminding him, "Don't forget, you're due for debriefing today. Don't go _too_ crazy."

"I remember. I'll be on time," he said firmly, not looking away from the bounty hunter.

Kanan, on the other hand, took a moment to rest his hand on Kallus' shoulder.

"I'm not gonna try to stop you, Kallus. If I were in your position, I'd probably be doing the same thing. Just...remember what it is you fought for. Don't lose yourself in here."

Kallus was prepared to brush the Jedi off, to say that he would do whatever he had to to get Arkalia back, and if that included giving up the soul he had regained, then so be it. But then he remembered something Kanan had said to him what now felt like a lifetime ago.

 _"He_ _ **needs**_ _you, Alexsandr. I don't think you get that. He needs you_ _ **alive**_ _...If you go back there and you get yourself killed...what do you think it would do to him?"_

 _"It would_ _ **destroy**_ _him."_

 _"Now you're getting it. Zeb's lost everyone he's ever loved in his life...he_ _ **can't lose you, too.**_ _If you can't live for yourself, for the Rebellion, then I'm_ _ **begging**_ _you...do it for_ _ **him**_ _."_

It would be an exceedingly kriff-poor way to repay the sacrifices Zeb had made by throwing away the heart he loved above all others. He couldn't do that to Zeb. Not after everything he'd been through.

"I won't," he answered simply. He still didn't look back at Kanan, but the Jedi must've been reassured by something in his tone because he took his leave. Once the two humans had gone, two more beings entered the cell in their place, sealing the door behind them. Kallus watched Kuross' expression sink when he saw who had entered the cell.

Kar and Tiri.

"No," Kuross said, shaking his head slowly as they approached. "There's just- no way. You rebel types just aren't for this sorta thing. There's no way your precious _Alliance_ is gonna allow this."

"Perhaps not," Kallus said with an indifferent shrug, but the indifference soon shifted to an ugly sneer. "But the Alliance isn't here right now. There are no cams on this cell. It's just you and me...and the soul of every being you've ever wronged."

"You hurt our captain, Giren Kuross," Kar snarled quietly at him. "A man I look to as a friend and a brother. But worse than simply harming his body, you have trespassed upon the bonds of his spirit. In living or dying, none but Alexsandr, son of Kallus has _any_ sort of claim to that bond. By right of _Tinsahn_ and as my captain's second, it is my sacred charge to see you are punished for your crimes."

"More than this, you have brought harm to our princess," Tiri continued, her voice just as hard as Kar's. "So long as even _one_ member of the House of Selvarrio exists, we are honor-bound to protect that life with our own. Lasan or no Lasan, we swore an oath to the Blood, and as members of the High Honor Guard, we will see that oath through to the end."

"Heh, didn't even _know_ the little womp rat was your princess until this week," Kuross bit out, still trying to laugh.

"There is no forgiveness," the two guards said as one. "Only death."

The display actually cowed the human into silence, leaving him staring up at them with the beginnings of real madness flickering in his eyes. Allowing all of the hatred he felt for Giren Kuross to burn in his eyes, Kallus stood before him, vibro-shiv gripped tightly in one hand as he towered over him.

"You _dared_ to touch my _Tinsana._ You _dared_ to defile that bond with your worthless hands and your foul mouth. You _dared_ to harm what is _mine_. For this, I will make you understand _why_ an agent of the Imperial Security Bureau is to be feared," he hissed as he drew down close, a hand running up Kuross' side, up his face, not quite touching skin until he gently gripped the man's right ear. "There is no forgiveness. Only death."

Then he gripped that ear in harsh fingers and calmly sliced it off.

XxX

 **Death.**

XxX

"The record states you gave the order to use ion disruptors during the Siege of Lasan. Is this true?"

"The decision was made collectively. We were uninformed of the experimental nature of the technology. I had every reason to believe those weapons would behave as any other-"

"That isn't the answer to the question I asked you."

"I didn't _know-_ "

"Did you or did you not order the use of ion disruptors against _living beings?_ "

"..."

"You _will_ answer the question, _Agent_ Kallus."

"...Yes."

"And how many civilians died that day?"

"...Millions."

XxX

"Where is it?" Kallus asked, pressing further back on the joint.

"Get kriffed!" Kuross snarled at him.

"Tell me," he repeated calmly, relentless.

"Sure. When all nine hells freeze over," he spat out.

"You're only making this harder on yourself."

"Kriff you _and_ your precious little princess!"

Kallus pressed back on the bounty hunter's middle finger until the joint _snapped_ , drawing a fresh scream of pain from his mouth. The ex-Imperial let the scream build and fade away before forcibly taking hold of the index finger, beginning to apply pressure.

"There's still time to save this last one. Just tell me where the _Demon's Run_ is."

Kuross offered up a hoarse laugh as he leered up at him. "Heheh, guess where inside our big boy that finger's been."

 _Snap._

XxX

 **I swear to you a thousand deaths...**

XxX

"I was too injured to continue fighting. Captain Orrelios...insisted at the time that he would rather wait until I healed to finish the fight. If we had remained at odds, neither of us would have survived. We joined forces to escape Bahryn, and in that time...in those moments between struggles for survival...we began to talk...to truly speak with one another. To listen. I believe we both introduced ideas that night that the other...had not previously considered."

"And was it during this incident that your relationship with the captain became sexual?"

"...I'm sorry. What?"

"Well, it would almost be understandable in a situation such as that. If it were an act performed out of necessity, for survival-"

"Draven-"

"I might almost believe you _hadn't_ manipulated him were that the case."

"General Draven, this is meant to be _Kallus'_ testimony."

"You seem...quite fixated on when exactly it was I spread my legs for Captain Orrelios."

"I've made no secret of why that is, _Agent_. It's a simple enough response."

"It is, that. And the answer is _no._ That was _not_ what led to our relationship becoming sexual. If you really must know, the first and only time I have slept with Captain Orrelios was exactly two weeks ago, when we rendezvoused just before the Battle of Atollon. Is this sufficient to satisfy your _curiosity_ , _Sir?_ "

"It is sufficient, Fulcrum. Thank you. We will continue from your experiences on the Geonosian moon. It was what led you to begin questioning your loyalty to the Empire?"

"It was. It wasn't long after I'd begun my own personal investigations that I was contacted by Ahsoka Tano."

XxX

"You _like it._ "

Kallus flinched inwardly at the sound of Kuross' taunt, intent on not letting him see the reaction, even though he was facing away from him. He made no response as he switched his vibro-shiv for a stun baton.

"What? Nothin' to say? Big, bad, highly trained interrogator like yourself? Naw. You can't _admit_ to likin' it, can ya? That's just not civilized."

"Do you assume _everyone_ is like you?" Kallus returned as he turned back to him. "Only deriving pleasure from pain?"

Before the bounty hunter could respond, Kallus delivered a hard blow to his jaw with the baton, sending enough of a current through him to cause his teeth to rattle.

Once he'd stopped screaming, Kuross shook his head, spitting out a little blood as he looked up at Kallus. The right eye was swollen shut, oozing a bit of puss.

"Naw. Not _everybody_. But you? I can see it in your eyes. You get off on this. Just a _little_ bit. And hey...maybe _I_ like that a little bit, too," he said, somehow managing to roll his hips up off the table he was secured to. Kallus shuddered in disgust when he noticed the man was _actually_ getting hard. "Come on. I'm a dead man anyway. Dead man can't have one last good _kriff?_ Must be lonely here with your playmate still all _wet._ "

Kar let out a growl from where he stood against the wall, clearly ready to move in, but Kallus held up a hand to stop him.

" _Orra. La sylf nallir kilan fel syv vogak nikasha._ "

" _Ul hargiri Tinsana ni sadahn. Ul fal_ _ **korrimir**_ _._ "

" _Ul sylf._ "

"Come on, _Kal,_ " the man drawled, blood still dribbling from his mouth. "If you won't kriff me, then force yourself on me. Violate me. _Rape me._ That's _bound_ to hurt. Do to me what I did to him."

"No, Kuross," he said heavily. "I'm not like you."

"You are," he hissed. "You _are_."

The thing was...Kallus was no longer certain he was wrong. Not that he was actually aroused by any of this...but that maybe he _liked this_ too much – slowly pulling apart the man who had hurt Zeb. But every time he would be about to step back from it, he would remember he was here for a purpose. That purpose had not been achieved yet.

"Well, I think we know what's coming off next," he hissed, hand dropping below the bounty hunter's belt. "Kar, bring me back that shiv if you wouldn't mind."

"Aw...no...no way," Kuross actually started to beg, going pale as Kallus gripped him. "You can't just-"

The scream stayed in Kallus' ears long after it had stopped.

XxX

 **...and when you have died a thousand times, you shall seek the sweet release of death and shall not find it.**

XxX

"When I entered the dwelling, Kazari Vison and Chardan Sorril had already been killed. Princess Selvarrio...Arekaya...was near to. She entrusted her daughter...Arkalia...the last Selvarrio...to my care."

"Were you aware of the child's identity at the time?"

"No. I did not learn who they were until much later...when I was given access to the files of Project Ash Warrior."

"And you risked your identity as Fulcrum in order to take the child to safety...unknowing?"

"Yes. I...I made a promise to her mother. And it is...my own penance. If I can save even one Lasat...it is my duty to do so."

"More than a few of us...can understand such a penance. Only...you did not deem it pertinent to share this information with Phoenix Cell or the intelligence network?"

"The- opportunity did not present itself. Much had happened in the wake of Manaan. I had always meant to bring it up to Captain Orrelios, but the timing was just never right. It was never...immediately pertinent to what was happening."

"And it was also in getting the child away from the Empire that you first crossed paths with Giren Kuross?"

"Yes. Who could say what he was doing there. Perhaps he was even hunting Arkalia's family. Whatever the case, I...if I had known then what I know now..."

XxX

 _...I would have killed him..._

XxX

"Nothing to say today?"

He wasn't surprised. Not really. Kuross hadn't had much of anything to say the past few days. Not even his typical taunting. He just lay strapped to his table, staring blearily at nothing.

"You don't _get_ to just die, you know," Kallus told him. "Until I have what I need, you _live_. Like this. Always in agony. You don't know what I can do to keep you alive, Kuross. And I haven't yet _begun_ to take you apart," he hissed in the man's mangled ear, summoning a flicker of horror in those dull eyes. Then he dragged a burn rod across them.

"KAMINO!" the broken down bounty hunter finally screamed, voice rising on the agony.

" _What?_ " the ex-Imperial demanded in shock.

"Re- rendezvous's...in the kriffin' Kamino system," he slurred with his bitten tongue.

"But why there? What does Zaniva have to do with Kamino?"

"Kriff f'I know. Restricted. Didn't care...s'long as they payed me."

"Of course," Kallus said, shaking his head. But then he was turning back to Kar and Tiri. "Tiri, I need you to get that information to Dodonna. I'll need to speak with Rex and Hera," he started as they began to head out of the cell.

"Hey!" Kuross called out in a panic. "You- you're not gonna just- leave me like this, are ya?"

"Can you think of a terribly compelling reason I shouldn't?"

"But- you said...once I talked, you'd finish it. Right?" he asked, head whipping from side to side, unable to open his burned eyelids. His voice was almost pathetically hopeful.

"I told you how this was going to work when we began. Two and a half weeks you held out on me. That will be at least another month. I'm quite certain I can keep a flaying going that long. I don't need the skin to be in one piece, after all."

"But...but..."

"As I said, you _know_ how this ends. It ends when you _beg me_ to kill you."

"I'm beggin' ya know."

"No, you're not. You know nothing _about_ begging. But you will. You will."

XxX

 **There is no forgiveness. Only death.**

XxX

"And the coding you introduced to the Imperial network was successful?"

"It was. I would have liked time to properly erase the coordinates myself, but the contact programming will serve our purposes. This location will be unplottable within Imperial systems."

"Is there any chance Thrawn might discover what you did? As he discovered _you?_ "

"That is...not outside of the realm of possibility. He is certainly intelligent enough to figure it out. But he was unaware of just _how_ large the Alliance has become. I know that at _least_ until the Battle of Atollon, he was under the impression that the rebel movement consisted only of the Massassi Group and Phoenix Cell. He has not been pursuing the possibility of numerous rebel bases. Not to mention that Intelligence has had no word of Thrawn since the battle. Likely he has had a great deal to answer to the Emperor for after the loss. By now, my contact virus will have done its work. Even if he _is_ able to search, there will be nothing left to find. For the moment...we are safe."

"Were you aware at the time that Captain Orrelios and Princess Selvarrio had been taken captive?"

"I was...made aware that the captain was being held during the fight. It- was how Thrawn took the advantage."

"And was it this bit of leverage that led to your _betrayal_ of Phoenix Cell?"

"Draven-"

"It seems pertinent in my view. After all, he could clearly be lead to another betrayal with the proper _incentive_."

"...No. That was not the reason. When I thought it was just Zeb...Captain Orrelios...when I thought it was just the two of us, I was prepared to die with him aboard the _Chimaera_...to give the very last I had to give for this cause. But things changed when they revealed they had also taken Ar- the princess. No matter the cost...I could not bring myself to choose her death. I just did what I had to...and hoped Phoenix Cell was prepared to handle the situation."

"And we were."

"Then what was it that led to the princess being taken by Zaniva?"

"Alex-"

"I had to make a choice. If I had left Captain Orrelios to Kuross that day...he would have died. No matter what Arkalia is going through now...I know she is alive."

"And an extraction is being prepared?"

"Even as we speak."

XxX

"Please."

Kallus stilled in peeling back the layer of skin he was working on, looking down on the destroyed face.

"Please...please... _please..._ "

"Please. _What?_ " he prompted, voice quiet but firm.

"Please...kill me...p- please... _please_..."

Kallus sighed, feeling anger rise in his chest. He had expected to feel some sort of satisfaction upon reaching this point, but he didn't. He just felt...empty. Empty and exhausted and sad and _angry._

"How many beings have begged for mercy at _your_ feet and you had none? Did you show _Zeb_ mercy when he asked you to _stop? DID YOU?_ " he demanded of the bounty hunter before ripping away a freshly severed layer of skin from his arm.

Kuross didn't scream. He didn't have the strength to anymore. He just choked out several weak sobs.

"Please... _please_...f- forgive...me..."

" _Never_ ," Kallus hissed as he looked down at the barely human lump of flesh beneath him. "I can never forgive you the things you've done to him. Garazeb Orrelios is vital to me in a way you can never understand. He _knows_ me...sees me what I am...and he loves me anyway...and I love him. I love his kindness and courage and understanding. And you...you _raped him_ ," he said, finally speaking the words out loud. "You tried to snuff out his light with your cruelty. I am not a good man. There are many things I could forgive. I _cannot_ forgive that. I _will not_ forgive you for causing him such pain...and smiling. But...fortunately for you, I don't _have_ to forgive you. Only the Ashla can do that."

Sighing again, he set his tools aside, moving to the cell door.

"We'll be making our run soon...to get Arkalia back. _If_ I bring her home safely, I will kill you then. If I do not return, well...you will be here a great deal longer."

Then, having said his piece, he left, leaving the broken creature weeping pathetically in the darkness.

XxX

 _"Zeb'aki...what are you still doing here?"_

 _He turns. Slowly. He_ _ **knows**_ _that voice. Oh, how he knows it. And when he beholds his beloved big sister, she's as he remembers her in life, her Honor Guard uniform impeccable. Ashvyr Orrelios had never been able to keep a lot of things clean, but she'd kept that uniform in top condition._

 _"Ash...am I dead?"_

 _Ash shakes her head, offering him the annoyed but fond smile he's_ _ **so**_ _used to from her. "No, but damn you for a stubborn ass if you aren't_ _ **trying**_ _to be."_

 _He goes to her, throwing his arms around her in the tightest hug he's ever given any living being. When he was little and frightened, it was always Ash's lap he sought out, her embrace. His big sister would make the monsters go away. She laughs quietly now as she holds him, gently stroking the fur at the back of his neck._

 _"Saman'ka...I failed her...my princess...my Kaya...I failed my ashthar'aki'ka."_

 _"No. You didn't fail. You did the only thing you_ _ **could**_ _do, sadan'aki. If you'd stopped them taking her that day, you both would've died. Then your Kali wouldn't exist at all and your Alex would be just another lost warrior, trapped inside a system too powerful to overcome alone."_

 _"I- I let that human..."_

 _"You_ _ **let**_ _him do nothing._ _ **His**_ _actions are not on you. I think you know that better than most. You'll survive what he did to you, same as you've survived everything else."_

 _"Alex...what...what'll he think of me..._ _ **knowing**_ _I've been- that I was-"_

 _"Your Tinsana will think you stronger and more beautiful for surviving what others have not. You are beauty itself in that human's eyes. More he will hate him_ _ **self**_ _for not being there for you. After all, he said it himself, didn't he? Nothing they do can destroy what you really are. That is what it is to love truly, truly and fully. Are you really going to break his heart by leaving him so soon after getting him back?"_

 _"Alex..." he repeats the name of his beloved softly, beginning to glance back over his shoulder, in the direction he came from._

 _ **Ni ashkerra...**_

 _"He_ _ **needs**_ _you, Zeb'aki'a. Don't you hear him? How his heart cries out in pain?"_

 _ **L'ashkerrir an maka zei zash inkasha. Please..**_ _ **.please**_ _**don't leave me, Zeb.**_

 _"Go back, sadan'ka. The only way the two of you will rescue your daughter is together."_

 _He takes a step back, back in the direction of the pain he feels at the other end of the Bond. He reaches out to try and soothe it, but he still doesn't release his sister's hand._

 _"Am I- ever gonna see you again?" he asks, looking back at her one last time. She shakes her head, still smiling at him._

 _"I'm not gone, you idiot. None of us are. No one ever really_ _ **is**_ _. Go back."_

 _ **Come back.**_ _ **Please**_ _**come back.**_

 _ **I'm coming.**_

Zeb drew in a sharp breath as he blinked himself awake, taking a moment to acclimate to the press of liquid against his eyes and the taste of recycled air in his mouth.

Bacta. He was in a bacta tank.

Forcing his eyes to focus through the blurry images beyond the tank, his vision gradually picked out something distinct.

Alex. It was Alex's face, happy and relieved to see him awake. As his lover raised a hand to press it against the glass, Zeb thought he might have seen tears in those amber eyes. Raising his own hand to press it against Alex's through the plexiglass, he was soon resting his forehead against the smooth surface, smiling through the breath mask that covered half his face when Alex leaned in to press his own forehead to his.

 _Oh, love. My love. You've been waiting...you've been unhappy. I'm sorry._

Then he was being lifted from the tank, helped out by two med droids, and almost before he was aware of what was happening, he was on his knees beside the tank with Alex's arms around him.

"You came back," the human whispered in his ear, clinging to him as if he'd never let go. "I _knew_ you'd come back to me."

"Be a fool to leave you. Specially when I've been whingin' all this time about _you_ gettin' yourself killed," he said, nuzzling the side of his partner's face, scenting him and breathing in the scent _of_ him. " _L'ashkerrir an...ni zash...ni ko'oran._ "

" _Gal L'ashkerrir an. L'ashkerrir an zai,_ " Alex whispered in kind before drawing him into a kiss. Then the hug was suddenly getting bigger. Ezra, Sabine, and Jorrah were there, followed quickly by Kar, Tiri, Kanan, Hera, and Rex. Even Zelina was shyly joining in before long, with Chopper bumping against them all.

"So...I'm assuming this means you all don't mind scrubbin' bacta outta your clothes later?" Zeb tried to joke, very much aware how sticky with the stuff his fur was.

"Kriffing idiot Lasat. We'll scrub bacta for weeks now we've got you back," Sabine told him.

"We were all really worried about you," Ezra said.

"How...how long was I out?" he asked, reaching through the multitude of arms to touch Alex's hair. It had gotten longer, more unkempt.

Alex stared at him sadly a moment before reaching up to cup his larger hand in both of his. "We have...several things to discuss, you and I."

XxX

Yavin IV's climate was very humid, and during the day it could be painfully harsh on someone of Zeb's species or someone of Alex's coloring. The nights tended to be cooler, though, which was why Alex brought a blanket with him when the pair climbed the temple as the sun was setting. Zeb had wanted to take the quick route and once again carry Alex on his back, but the human had outright refused, stating he was not putting that kind of strain on him so soon after coming out of a coma. So they climbed together up the side of the temple with the setting sun at their backs, both moving slower than they would've liked.

Only the last few rays of sunlight remained when they finally reached the level they'd been aiming for, high above the base. Alex spread the blanket out on the landing for them to sit on and Zeb produced a rather distinctly unmarked bottle.

"Where did you get _that_ from?" Alex asked him with a small laugh.

"You know Jidu Ailytè in your spy settings. One thing you're gonna learn about her outside of the network is that she's _always_ gonna know who's got a vat of moonshine brewin'. So whenever you need a fix, the girl from Jedha's your go-to," he answered, opening the bottle with his teeth.

Alex shook his head, laughing again. "I'll keep that in mind."

"Little less fancy than the last time we had a heart to heart," he said, offering Alex the first swig. He shrugged before taking a swallow.

"Alcohol is alcohol, but I would say the atmosphere is decidedly more inviting than Nar Shaddaa," he said, passing the bottle back to Zeb.

"Yeah, and...like you said, we've got a lot to talk about," he said, eyeing the bottle a long moment before taking a drink from it. "There are...things about me you don't know. Things I think you _should..._ after...what happened. And the first thing I wanna tell you about is...Kaya."

"The little princess," Alex said softly. "Yes, I...Kanan told me you had been close with her. I'm sorry- you had to find out that way."

"No, I- I think...maybe...I knew. Some part of me knew...could see Kaya in Kali's face. I tried to dismiss it because Kali never had the Selvarrio patterning in her fur. Whatever she has must be from her dad. Maybe I knew and just...didn't wanna see it...or think about what it would mean. But...Alex...did _you_ know?" he suddenly found himself asking, looking over at his bondmate. He didn't know why this mattered, or if it even _did_. He just found himself wanting to know.

Alex looked pained for a moment, but he ultimately nodded. "Not when...I found them on Alluria. I didn't know then. I found out when I went digging through Ash Warrior's files. I'd always meant to tell you, but there was never a time for it. I knew it would be- difficult news for you to bear, even not knowing your particular history."

"'s'all right," Zeb said, taking another drink before passing the bottle back to Alex, who quickly took another swallow. "How _could_ you know? How could you know when I never told you? Kaya...she was the youngest of the royal children. She was born right around the time I was inducted into the High Honor Guard. So, in a way, we were young together. We took to each other, and while I was still the rookie, she was my responsibility to protect, and I kept with it even after I became the captain. She was...so precious...and I failed her. I couldn't- stop 'em from takin' her that day," he said, voice falling off into nothing as he squeezed his eyes tightly shut, the sound of her screams echoing in his mind.

"No," Alex's voice sounded beside him, and in the next moment, he felt the human's hand on his knee. "I'm sure you did everything you could that day. What could _anyone_ be expected to do against such odds?"

Zeb slipped a hand into Alex's then, letting him know he was hearing him, even if he only partly believed him.

"'Course...irony of it all is Kali wouldn't exist now if it _hadn't_ happened," he said with a sigh, looking out over the base below as he gripped his lover's hand tighter. "But...the memory of her mother...is why I've been so scared of gettin' close to Kali."

"When did- that change, by the way?" Alex asked, taking an extra nip from the bottle before passing it back to Zeb, still holding his hand. "What exactly happened? When I parted from you, we were saying our goodbyes to her, but then Hera's calling us her fathers and you're saying she's our baby girl. Not that I was complaining, mind, but...what happened?"

" _She_ happened," he answered with a small smile and a bitter laugh. "I was crackin' already, but...then she called me _Dan-Dan_ and it was all over for me."

" _Dan-Dan?_ So that...it _does_ mean...father?" the ex-Imperial asked him.

"Yeah. Dada...is what human babies say, I think."

"It is," Alex said, his voice growing tight. " _Stars_ , it- it is. She was crying that...when Archrem...took her from me."

Hearing the hitching in Alex's voice, Zeb turned to look at him, seeing his eyes squeezed tightly shut as several tears spilled from them. He offered up a few soothing purrs as he pulled his lover into his arms, just holding him for several moments, letting a few of his own tears fall into Alex's hair.

"Oh, Zeb," Alex whispered once his voice was a little steadier. "If anyone's failed our girl, it's _me_. I should've found a way...that day...I should've found a way to save you both."

"No," Zeb soothed him in kind, pressing a kiss first to his forehead, then to his eyes, and finally to his lips. When the kiss ended, he whispered against those lips, "You did everything you could. I know that. And we're gonna make it right, yeah?" he said, cupping Alex's face in his hands and wiping the tears away with his thumbs.

"Yes. Of course," his partner said, carefully remastering himself. "Please...continue."

"I...I never asked you before," Zeb started in slowly. "Kaya...on the day she died...how did see seem to you?"

"Fierce," was the first thing the former agent answered. "Even though she was already mortally wounded, trapped beneath a structural beam, probably impaled somehow...she was still prepared to fight tooth and nail to protect her daughter."

"Yeah," Zeb agreed with a small laugh. "That was her. Mostly sweet, but she could be quite the little hellspawn when she wanted to."

"I could tell even then that she was fairly young. It wasn't until I'd shown her the sigil you carved for me that she began to calm. That and she started to pick up your scent on me. I do have to wonder if...maybe she _knew_ it was you...if she remembered the scent...and _that's_ why she trusted me. But...in her final moments...she just wanted to be certain Arkalia was safe," he recounted.

"There's that, at least," Zeb said with a soft sigh. "It isn't- just her I wanted to talk about, though."

"Kuross?" Alex suggested tentatively.

"Yeah, him. But not just him. There's more to what happened than...what he did to me."

"How do you mean?"

"Do you remember...back on Nar Shaddaa...when you told me about your mum and what she did for a livin'?" he asked, feeling something heavy twist in his chest as the unpleasant memories began to drift to the surface of his thoughts.

"Yes."

"Well...I told you the truth before. On Lasan...we never had any sort of stigma attached to...voluntarily bein' a sex worker. It's a job like any other and oughta be respected the same as any other."

"Voluntarily?" Alex whispered after a moment when he didn't continue right away, and Zeb could hear the dots beginning to connect in that smooth, intelligent voice. He would figure it out long before Zeb actually said anything. Alex would spare him having to say it if he could, but even so, he wanted to say these things out loud...to bare his pain and his shame to the man he loved. Because like Alex and his time on Lasan, these events in his past were things he'd never told _anyone_ about...never _truly_ given voice to...and he knew he had allowed that shame to fester beneath the surface for much too long already. Kanan and Hera knew, to a degree, because of course it was difficult to ignore the circumstances they'd all met under when they'd liberated him all those years ago, but he had never really _told_ them. It just remained unspoken between all of them, in the same way Hera's childhood or Kanan's time as a Padawan remained unspoken. But he wanted to speak it now...and he wanted Alex to be the one to hear it.

"Yeah. Well...like you've now seen, it's... _very_ easy to bring a Lasat to sexual arousal without their consent. Because of that, we've got pretty different views on consent and bodily autonomy than a lot of the rest of the galaxy. Sexual slavery was unheard of on Lasan. To my people, bein' a rapist is just as bad if not worse than bein' a murderer. So it was...a bit of a shock to me...to see where it all stood in the rest of the galaxy after Lasan," he started to explain, beginning to grip Alex's hand tightly once again.

"What happened?" his bondmate asked him, and it was only in hearing the sudden heaviness in that now familiar voice that Zeb realized this was yet one more thing Alex might blame himself for. But he couldn't let that stop him.

"My Gran...Bennali Orrelios...she rescued the last of us that day...got us away from Lasan. Ashamed to admit I was pretty useless back then, pretty much catatonic. But...small group like that...didn't take 'em long to pick us off...one by one...until I was the only one left...and I was captured and sold to slavers on Morverin III."

"The gladiator pits," Alex said quietly, apparently at least _somewhat_ familiar with that particular hive of scum and villainy.

"Right. Wasn't just that, though. In a way, I wouldn't have minded just fighting. But that wasn't the only thing they used me for."

"Zeb," Alex exhaled his name on a horror-filled breath, the pieces having already come together in his mind.

"Because I was a 'rare specimen'...I was also popular on the flesh pit side of things. Their audiences liked watchin' me kriff other slaves...or get kriffed...it was whatever they wanted. Wasn't like I could say no either. All it took was a few strokes from a handler and I was ready to put my cock in whatever they stuck me with," he recounted, his voice haunted and bitter as it left his throat, the memories all too vivid in his mind.

He had actually begged at first... _begged_ not to be violated and forced in such a way...but many of them had taken a certain sadistic pleasure in breaking him down.

"'lot of 'em would touch my neck...just to prove they could...that there was nothin' I could do to stop 'em. I was an easier mark than a lot of the other slaves. They'd even sell nights with me to bidding spectators."

" _Stars_ ," Alex whispered in horror.

"I was popular, too. They could make more off me...since I can come more 'n once at a go. Sold me to two, sometimes even three customers a night. I remember once some moff or other tried to buy me for his personal bed slave after a night with me. Heh, offered 'em the price of a small moon...just to be able to have my prick for himself," he said, trying to laugh and not quite managing it. It was how he'd dealt with it all this time – pretending like it was nothing...like it didn't affect him...didn't still haunt his darkest nightmares...to have no control over his own body...to be nothing but an object of pleasure for scum of the lowest degree.

" _Zeb..._ "

"Six years," he continued before Alex could say anything more. "Six years they had me like that...before Kanan and Hera made a run on the place tryin' to rescue some other poor bleeder. Burned it all down in pretty spectacular fashion, we did," he recounted, managing a bit of a fond smile at that one. "But...honestly...every time I think I've managed to bury it, this thing with Kuross comes up again and it all comes bleedin' out. I don't remember much of- what he did to me _this_ time...not after he drugged me. But I do remember comin' to in the middle of it...and he- I was in him..."

 _...the ugly taste of his kiss..._

 _"I love you."_

 _...the harsh slap and clench of their bodies joining together..._

 _"Come inside me..._ _ **Tinsana!**_ _"_

 _No control..._ _ **no control**_ _..._ _ **NO CONTROL!**_

"ZEB!" Alex's desperate cry suddenly broke through the fog of his terror. He snapped out of it to find his _Tinsana_ gripping his face between his hands, eyes wild with fear. " _Ashkerra_...my love, please...stay with me. Don't leave me again. You don't need to say more; it's all right. Just come back to me. Oh, _please._ "

" _Tinsana?_ " he whispered, slowly drawing Alex into his arms, pulling him in until the human had no choice but to straddle his legs as he clung to him. " _Armorra ashkerra._ "

"Oh, love. _Ashkerra'ka._ What have they done to you? What have _I_ done to you?" the ex-Imperial lamented with a tiny cry in his voice. " _Ni astyr, sastyrial ashkerra..._ is- is this all right? Can I kiss you?"

" _Eri...eri...La vuuser syv,_ " he answered, happy to be asked, even as he drew Alex in to kiss him. Several moments later, he was whispering against his lips, "I _choose_ this."

Then he slowly lay down on the blanket, drawing Alex down with him to lie on top of him, and again they were kissing. It wasn't anything heated or hurried, simply the two of them cleaving to each other, each breathing the other in with relief and joy that they were both still here to just lie beneath the stars like this. It would've been only too easy for one or the other to not have survived to this moment, for one half of a broken bond to be a completely different man. But they were together now, and they had no intention of being separated ever again.

Sometime later, when they had worn themselves out quite thoroughly with kissing, Zeb noticed Alex shivering above him, cold in the night air.

"You're cold. Here," he said, drawing the blanket carefully up around both of them, cradling his lover even more intently against his chest.

"You were more than enough," Alex tried to scold with a small laugh. "You're only going to overheat like this. You don't have to-"

"I _want_ to. We'll cross the other bridge when we come to it. Right now, I just wanna be as close to you as I can be. I want us to breathe the same air...for as long as we can."

"Anything you want, my love. I will gladly give you _anything_ you could possibly want," Alex told him, pressing a loving kiss to the juncture of his neck and jaw.

"I already have half of what I want, and you have a plan for the other half."

"I do," Alex said quietly after several silent moments.

"I know I didn't ask before, but...how did you find out where they'd taken her?" he asked, tucking a stray strand of hair gently behind Alex's ear.

Yet another long string of silence followed this. Alex didn't quite look at him when he answered, "That information came to me...from Giren Kuross."

Zeb couldn't stop his eyes widening at that. "I... _how?_ When?"

"I brought him with me when I fled the _Chimaera_. I've been interrogating him while you've been unconscious. What is _left_ of Giren Kuross lies locked in a cell beneath this temple, waiting to die by my hand."

Zeb heard something more in Alex's voice than just those words. He heard something cold and harsh, something damaged and dangerous...something he was fairly certain Alex would need to talk about when this was all over. For the moment, he would be lying if he said he wasn't happy that Kuross was being punished for what he'd done. But... _Alex_...

"I want our family back together. That includes _you_ , Alex," he reminded him, offering up another gentle kiss as he ran his fingers through the human's soft golden hair. "None of it's worth anything if I lose you."

"I know. I know. And I've tried... _so_ hard...not to go too far...but every time I look at him, I see _you_. I see how he _enjoyed_ hurting you...and something inside of me just _snaps_. I can't stop it."

" _Kal_ ," Zeb started firmly before the other man could slip further away. "Do you know- what the word _kal_ means in Lasana?"

"Well, of course I do. It means...it...means... _oh_ ," he said softly, voice falling away as understanding washed across his face. The name Zeb had called him from the very first...the central part of Arkalia's name.

" _Kal_ ," Zeb said again, laying a hand over his _Tinsana's_ beating heart. "Treasure. _Ni kal_...my treasure. _Ni kali_...my treasures. _Ni ashkerra...ze safken ni sashahn_ ," he declared before drawing his partner into a new kiss. Deeper this time. A promise to serve as an anchor, a harbor in any storm, a light in any darkness.

 _I'm here. I'll always be here._ _ **Always**_ _come back to me._

Alex seemed almost to sigh into the kiss, to sink into him and let his tensions go free. When they separated this time, Alex slowly sat up, the blanket still draped loosely around his shoulders.

"I honestly have no idea what I would do without you."

"Let's not find out, yeah? But...there is one more thing I wanna ask you before we dive into this plan of yours," he said as he sat up, careful not to jostle Alex from his lap. Suddenly fearful that this idea of his was crazy and much too sudden, he reached forward to cup his lover's face in his hand one last time...in case this was poorly received.

"Yes?" Alex pressed him, suddenly looking nervous.

"Marry me?"

For a moment, it seemed like the world around them had actually frozen. Zeb couldn't hear any of the night noises he'd been able to identify before, or the sound of the breeze around the steps of the temple, or even the sound of Alex's breathing. Just when he was about to ask if the human was all right, several tear tracks suddenly flowed down his cheeks.

"I...I..." Alex finally managed to start speaking, "are we- not married already? I believe you said once...the _Tinsahn_ is _more_ than marriage."

"It is. There's no ceremony for it, though. Not every mated pair is _Tinsahn_. We still have a marriage ceremony. Unless there's- some sorta ceremony from Coruscant you'd like to use, I want to marry you according to Lasat ritual. If- if it's what you want," he suddenly found himself stuttering. "I mean, you don't _have_ to say yes, obviously. I just-"

Alex silenced him with another kiss, tears still pouring silently down his face. When he pulled back from him, his lover was already starting to nod.

"Garazeb Orrelios, I would marry you according to every ritual this galaxy could hope to contain. I absolutely will marry you. It would be my honor to be your husband and your mate. Now...is this going to be a large ceremony?"

"Not really. We can do it tonight."

"Tonight?" Alex pressed, eyes widening. "But Zeb, it's _still_ ni-"

Zeb shook his head, shushing the ex-Imperial as he pointed up at the greying sky. "Didn't notice, Fulcrum? Where _is_ your head today?"

"Probably filled with wedding plans. After all, they say one hardly ever sleeps the night before one's wedding. Oh, but Andor's going to have my head for staying out all night," Alex said with a laugh.

"What is that kid now? Your nursemaid?" Zeb grunted in annoyance. He hadn't even been conscious for twenty-four hours yet and already the young intelligence officer was driving him crazy with how close he was sticking to Alex. It had been a real chore to shake him in order to climb up here. Really, why couldn't all the spies be cool like Ji?

"He may as well be. They're going to have a field day when they hear about this in intelligence."

"Honestly? It's not gonna shock me if half the base already knows about it by the time we climb down from here."

XxX

"So did you hear Zeb and Kallus are getting married?" Zelina asked as she removed the last of the stitches from Wedge's chest.

"Y'know, I did. Heard it from Hobbie on my way down here. He got it from Jidu, who overheard Draven screaming at Andor about it. It's been an interesting morning."

"I think it's sweet," she said, blushingly pressing a kiss to the healed wound she'd labored over for the past month. When she glanced up at the pilot, it was to find his own face just as red as hers. Wedge coughed as he looked away from her.

"Though, I guess there have been a lot of these flash weddings since Atollon. Everyone's wanting to make up for a nearly missed opportunity."

"Yeah, well...a lot of us came close to losing something on Atollon," she returned softly, reaching out a hand for his. They drew closer to each other, their forehead coming to rest together.

It had been an uphill battle for her those first few weeks, keeping him alive. Since there were only so many bacta tanks to be had on the little moon, it had been the long way around for Wedge, but she had refused to let him die...not until she could kiss him properly anyway.

"Heh, what? Are you telling me _you_ want to get married now?" he asked her, his voice only half-joking to her ears.

"No. Of course not," she said, even as she dropped a tiny kiss at the corner of his mouth. "Zeb and Kallus have been through _so_ much more than we have as a couple. They're ready for it. But I'll tell you what. Maybe you and I can get married after _I've_ almost died in the line of duty."

Wedge gave a pained laugh at that one. "Really? _That's_ what I have to wait for? You drive a damn hard bargain, Arsane."

"Well...it might come sooner than you think," she admitted quickly as she moved away from him, going to retrieve his shirt.

"What was that?" he pressed, and she could hear the new note of worry in his voice.

"I...well, I...the Spectres need a medic to infiltrate the _Demon's Run_. Of those of us here, I'm the one with the most experience with Lasat physiology at this point, so it's got to be me. And...well...it's a little bit dangerous," she conceded, not yet turning to face him, just holding the shirt in her hands. Faintly, she caught his familiar scent of sweat and engine lubricant, plus the odd scent of something sweet she could never quite identify.

"A _little_ bit dangerous? Zel...have you ever _done_ infiltration work before?" he asked her, slowly coming after her. After a moment, his hand came to rest on her shoulder. "I don't mean being a gunhand like back on Manaan. This is gonna be close quarters, look you in the eye, sit down and break bread with the people who killed your family type infiltration."

"I know that," she said, though she stiffened at his words; and still she didn't look at him. "But...Ari _needs me._ I _have_ to help get her back."

"And what if you're discovered? What happens then?" he demanded, his grip tightening. "This is top secret Imperial weapons dev. It's not just getting sent to prison. This is- summary execution stuff."

"I didn't leave _you_ behind when it was too dangerous," she reminded him, lifting a hand up to grip the one on her shoulder. "Zeb didn't leave his people on Manaan when it was too dangerous. And Kallus didn't leave you and Sabine at Skystrike, even though it was dangerous. Arkalia's not a weapon. She's a little girl. She's a child, and we can't let them do this to her," she said firmly, finally turning to face him. "If there's something I can do, I can't let another living being die. You _know_ that. So I have to do what I can, while I can still do it."

It wasn't anger she saw in Wedge's eyes as she looked at him. No. It was fear and sorrow – fear of losing her. But then he nodded slowly, pulling her into his arms. "You're right. I know you're right. I just- wish it didn't have to be you."

Then he was kissing her, holding her easily as he tangled his fingers in the wild flow of her braids. Zelina felt a delicious shiver run through her body when she felt those fingers travel along her scalp. The shirt slipped from her hand as she reached down to grip his hips.

She lost count of the minutes they stood like that, getting lost in each other. They had done this before, but there was a desperation to it this time around that hadn't been there before...a hunger...an ache neither of them had really let themselves consider while Wedge had still been healing. But now...with her about to leave on a dangerous mission...

The young Mandalorian's mouth opened in a gasp when his hands suddenly dropped to her bottom, lifting her up onto the med table she'd been retrieving his clothing from. Briefly, shyly, his tongue stretched out to taste hers.

"Is- is this all right?" he whispered into her mouth, dark eyes finding hers as he pulled back a step. "Is this what you want?"

Zelina nodded, though there was still a small roiling of nerves in her stomach to go along with the heat blossoming lower in her body. Drawing him back against her, she half-whimpered, "Yes. Wedge- I want you to touch me."

Arms wrapping gently around her, he let his lips drop to her neck, mouthing clumsily at the sensitive skin for several moments.

"Have...have you ever...?"

"MmMm," she mumbled into his hair, fingers digging into his shoulders. "Have...have you?"

"Well...we...jacked each other off in the barracks sometimes," he admitted, face going red when he looked up at her. "But I...I don't- think I can say I've ever actually...done it. Not like...with somebody I wanted to be with."

"Do you...want to be with me?" she asked him, feeling a lot of different things at once. Feeling shy and uncertain, like there wasn't anything she could do to keep this from being awkward. But on a deeper, more animalistic level, she could also feel how her body was beginning to _throb_... _aching_ to be touched. It was both terrifying and exciting all at once.

Jaw somewhat slack, Wedge nodded in answer, swallowing heavily before speaking. "I'd- be lying if I said I haven't...thought about you. You're- so pretty...and _so_ amazing."

"I think about you, too," she admitted, feeling her face flush as she smiled. Then, very aware that she was bright red by now, she boldly wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him flush against her, and when she felt his groin press against hers, she could feel just how _much_ he wanted to be with her. She couldn't keep herself from crying out at the feel of it.

Wedge himself actually whimpered at the contact, his hips thrusting involuntarily against hers for a moment.

"Are- are you okay?" she asked him, even as a fresh pulse of pleasure jolted through her body. The sounds he'd made sounded almost pained to her.

"Unh...uh-huh," he mumbled weakly, eyes closed. "It feels good _._ I...I _really_ want to...but...maybe we shouldn't...just yet."

"But- _why not?_ " she whimpered, feeling like she might actually cry if he didn't want her. "I- I might not-"

"You _are_ coming back," he insisted, tears actually starting to flow down his face as he brushed some of her hair from her eyes. "And when you do, we're gonna go to bed together...even if it's just a cot, or right here on this kriffing med table...and I'm gonna make you come until you scream...Zelina."

This time, they both trembled as they kissed. But when Wedge attempted to pull away from her, she held onto him, emboldened by the care he was showing. Then she leaned in close to whisper in his ear, "Can I...can I touch you? Can we do that much?"

Wedge laughed through his tears, nodding. "O- okay. Just...fair warning, I'm probably gonna come when you do."

"That's fine," she said with a small, emotional giggle of her own. "Call it...something to remember my pilot by."

Slowly, she trailed her hands down his bare chest, fingers not quite touching the heated skin before she reached his belt, undoing the buckle. She hesitated only a moment before sliding her hand beneath the fabric.

She felt her way easily enough, her practiced medic's fingers wrapping delicately around his shaft. She gave an experimental pull with her fingers, but she didn't have much opportunity for further exploration. After only two pulls, Wedge jerked against her with a strangled cry, collapsing awkwardly against her as he came into her hand.

She drew in a shuddered gasp of her own at the sticky hot feel of him. Once he'd finished, she gave his spent cock a final squeeze, coating him with his own cum before withdrawing her hand.

A fresh lick of desire jolted through her at the sight of her hand covered in the yellow-white fluid. There was something in knowing that _she_ had done that. That _she_ had induced that kind of need in him. And as he trembled helplessly against her, she smiled, pressing a gentle kiss to his ear.

After a few moments of this tender embracing, she felt more than heard him whisper against her neck, "Would...would you mind if I...returned the favor?"

"No. I wouldn't mind," she told him.

"You might- have to help me a little," he said, face flushing anew as he looked up at her. "I've never...touched a girl before."

"It's all right. I'll guide you," she said, drawing his hand to the side zip on her body suit. Then, hands moving together beneath the layers of fabric, she drew his fingers down between her legs, guiding them to her clit. Already, she could feel how wet she was.

Moving with him those first few strokes to show him what she usually did, she was soon moving eagerly against him, whimpering and moaning as his fingers worked in her over and over again. With each move, her cries came a little bit louder, her body rocked a little more insistently against his, until finally the heat and pleasure writhing and flowing beneath her skin burst outward from her core in a searing wave, her muscles spasming with the force of her climax. At the very least, she was happy not to be standing as the orgasm had its way with her.

For a long while after it was done, they just held each other, neither quite knowing what to say, but not wanting to let go of the moment either. There were things that needed to be done, places they both needed to be, but neither could bring themself to care just then. For a moment, just a moment, they were together.

Who knew when they would be again?

XxX

"Hera!"

The captain turned at the sound of Orianne Rihima calling her name, seeing her hurrying toward her from out of the temple.

"Hold up a minute! I need to talk to you."

"And it can't wait?" Hera asked, her gaze flicking toward her ship. "The wedding's going to be starting any moment."

"This is important; I promise you," the Zabrak said as she came up beside her. "And it will only take a minute. Hera...are you late?"

The Twi'lek raised a confused brow at the medic. "Well, yes. That's sort of why I'm in a hurry-"

"Hera," Orianne tried again. "I don't think you understand me. Are you _late?_ " she asked a second time, looking her very pointedly in the eye.

"Am I...I..." Hera's voice fell off into a quiet gasp as she finally understood what it was the medic was asking her.

Had she had her period this month?

Had she? She...she _must_ have. It was just...with everything happening all at once, maybe she just hadn't noticed...

But no. She _hadn't_ had it. She was _overdue._

 _She was_ _ **late**_ _._

"I...I am," she finally managed to answer. "It's...we've been trying-"

Could she really...possibly be _pregnant_ now?

Pregnant with _Kanan's_ child?

"I know. That's why I came to you first. There are a few others even from Phoenix Cell who might be late tonight. I'm one of them...and my results were definitely positive," Orianne told her.

"Oh...Orianne," she whispered, happy for her, but also sympathetic to what that meant. "Is- is it Jun's?"

The Zabrak nodded, a hand moving to her still flat belly as a mixed look of grief and wonder moved through her eyes. "I never...planned for anything _like_ this, but...I suppose I'm not too old for it _just_ yet. Besides...Jun deserves to leave something behind."

"Well...congratulations," Hera said to her, laying a hand over hers. "We'll all look forward to meeting that child."

"Right, and you, come see me after the ceremony. We'll get you some answers. Honestly, I don't think a single condom was used in all of Phoenix Cell the night of that party," she said as she began to head back toward the temple.

"I wouldn't doubt it," she agreed quietly. They had all been making rather merry that night. And she and Kanan, well...she now knew things about his stamina she hadn't before, even after years of being together.

But...if she was really pregnant...if she and Kanan...if she was going to have his baby...?

 _Not the time,_ she scolded herself, finally making for the _Ghost_. There was no sense in losing her head over it until she could know for certain. She had to be rational and sensible right now. Even so...she couldn't quite keep herself from reaching up to touch the plane of her stomach.

 _Pregnant..._

XxX

The atmosphere aboard the _Ghost_ was much more solemn than was normal. The lighting had been set to low power, and all those who wanted to witness the event were arrayed throughout the ship carrying glow rods, also kept on low power. As Zeb moved through the little freighter that had been his home for the past eight years, the display almost looked to him like a sea of floating lights.

The people who were closer to them occupied the corridor outside of his bunk, and the little room itself – Hera, Ezra, Sabine, Chopper, AP-5, Rex, Jorrah, Zel, Wedge, Hobbie, Jidu, Tera and Hara. Tiri was standing at the head of it all as officiant, and Kar had accompanied him on his walk through the _Ghost_ as his best man. As he entered the room, he removed his bo-rifle from his back and handed it to Kar. Then he moved to kneel before Tiri.

It wasn't long after that Alex was entering the room, with Kanan behind him as his best man. Though the ex-Imperial didn't have a bo-rifle to symbolically divest himself of at this juncture, he did take a moment to remove a blaster and collapsible electrostaff and pass them to the blind knight. Then he moved to kneel beside Zeb.

"Who comes before the Ashla this night?" Tiri asked.

"Garazeb, son of Orrelios, child of Lirakal and Zenarab, comes here to be wed," Kar answered for him.

"And Alexsandr, son of Kallus, child of Amara, comes here to be wed," Kanan answered for Alex.

"Warriors both, steadfast and faithful, they come to seek the blessing of the Ashla upon their union," Kar continued.

"Then rise and join hands, Garazeb Orrelios and Alexsandr Kallus."

Zeb's gaze moved to Alex as he stood, reaching out his hands to take his. Alex met his gaze with a smile, his amber eyes alight with disbelief and adoration. They gripped hands tightly as Tiri continued. As she spoke, the guardswoman produced two lengths of ribbon, one purple and one gold.

"What the humans refer to as love, we Lasat know as _ashkerra_. In the Basic tongue, this means 'the light within', for that is what love is – the light of the soul that reaches out to touch the galaxy...to touch others that we wish to give our light to."

While Tiri spoke, she passed the ribbons to Kar and Kanan. Kar wrapped the gold ribbon around Zeb's arms and wrists, while Kanan wrapped the purple ribbon around Alex's. Once they were secured, Tiri took the ends of both in her hands.

"Your love shall be the guiding light that illuminates the path ahead of you, binds your lives together when that way is dark, and causes the light of the galaxy to glow even more brightly than it ever would have without it."

Throughout it all, Tiri continued tying the ribbons together, and when she came to the end, the two ribbons were bound into one, never again to be separated.

"Garazeb, son of Orrelios," Tiri continued as she took a step back from them, "you come this night to be wed, to give all that you are to the one you love. Is there anything you would have your love know as you take your first steps forward together?"

Zeb hadn't really been paying much attention to the rest of the world before, but now his focus was entirely on Alex. Part of him wished he could reach up to cup the other man's face in his hands, run his thumbs over his cheeks and kiss him like he always did. But that would have to keep until they were alone. Now he simply gripped Alex's hands a little tighter, smiling at the human as he spoke.

"Alex...Kal... _Ashvahn ni malmanahn_...I was still lost when I met you. And I know...back then...that _nobody_ could've seen you'd be my way out...me least of all. But...you'n me...we learned to trust each other when we had every reason in the galaxy to cut each other's throats. I started to see you...and in seein' you, I...I saw myself again. In forgivin' you, I was able to heal the deepest wounds my heart had ever known, and I plan to spend the rest of our lives thankin' you for that."

When he'd finished, he lifted their bound hands a little and lowered his face to them, pressing his forehead against their intertwined fingers in a kind of supplication. When he looked up at Alex again, his eyes were bright with unshed tears. He could see how badly his bondmate wanted to reach up and wipe the threatening tears away, but neither of them could pull out of the hold. Instead, Alex just smiled helplessly, the tears beginning to trickle as Tiri spoke to him.

"Alexsandr, son of Kallus, you come this night to be wed, to give all that you are to the one you love. Is there anything you would have your love know as you take your first steps forward together?"

Alex stood still a moment, steeling himself against the emotions clearly battling inside of him. Then he nodded, looking directly into Zeb's eyes as he spoke.

"Zeb... _ni Garazeb'eka...Ashnahn na kayat_...before you...I was nothing. I had long since given myself up to a lie I had forced myself to believe. I had thought I was so strong, but before you came into my life...I was a ghost," he half-whispered through the flow of tears, his choice of word plainly deliberate. "I walked and I ate and I fought for that lie...but I was just a ghost. I didn't realize just how much of myself I'd lost before you opened my eyes. You saved me...in more ways than you may ever know. You gave- so much of yourself to pull me from the darkness...and still you had it in you to love what was left of me. What you have given me, my love...these things are debts that can never be repaid. So I offer you what you gave to me...such as it is...in the hope that, one day, this soul you redeemed from oblivion might be enough."

Zeb didn't realize he was crying until the very end, when he suddenly felt the droplets of his own tears scattering onto his arms. It was a real struggle not to try to hold Alex then...to kiss him...

 _Every time. Every time I think I can't love you more..._

Alex repeated his gesture from earlier, laying his forehead against their joined hands, but before he could pull back completely, Zeb moved in, pressing his forehead against Alex's, coming as close to embracing him as he could. Thankfully, Tiri continued before he could make more a fool of himself.

"Garazeb, son of Orrelios, do you take this man to be your mate and husband, to love and to honor until the end of your days?"

"I do," he vowed, voice tender as he looked into Alex's eyes.

"Alexsandr, son of Kallus, do you take this man to be your mate and husband, to love and to honor until the end of your days?"

"I do," Alex whispered in kind.

"Then let it be known that Garazeb, son of Lirakal and Zenarab, and Alexsandr, son of Amara, live as one. They are one flesh, one soul, one love, now and always, and death be unto any who would dare to sunder one from the other. In the sight of the Ashla, their blood flows mingled, forever bound throughout the strands of time. Now speak the words and all is done."

"By the Ashla," they began together, unsteady at first, but gradually gaining strength and certainty as they went, "by life, by light, by love, by honor, by freedom, by all things that I hold sacred, I am yours and you are mine, from this breath until my last. And with this kiss, I pledge my love."

Then they were finally kissing, their bound hands pressed firmly between their bodies as their lips joined together. And as they kissed, Zeb heard cheers and applause go up all around them. First from their friends and family gathered close at hand, and then spreading to the rest of the ship. He honestly would have been content to just go on kissing Alex like that.

Alex...his partner...his love...his husband...his _mate_.

Unfortunately, though, they did have to separate after a time, allowing Kanan and Kar forward to help them slip free of the ribbon that bound them together, making certain that nothing untied it.

Nearly as one, the other Spectres came and embraced them, hugging them both tightly and congratulating them. Then, gradually, Kar and Tiri herded everyone from the little room, leaving Zeb to seal the door after them all, so that he was finally alone with his mate.

"So what happens now?" Alex asked, raising an eyebrow at him, despite the lingering tracks of tears on his face.

"Well, everybody else is probably off for a celebration of their own. For us, it's...it's supposed to be our wedding night. But..."

"But it doesn't feel quite right," Alex finished when he couldn't, coming to him and taking his hands in his once more. "To make love when our family remains incomplete."

"Right," he said with a pained sigh, slowly drawing his mate into his arms, cradling him close.

"Then our wedding night will simply keep until Lia is home again. For tonight, I am just as happy to sleep by my husband's side," Alex said, drawing Zeb slowly over to the little bunk, the fall happening so naturally, it was difficult to say how it had been instigated.

"Honestly? It's probably gonna take me a few weeks just to catch up to the idea. That you'n me...that we're _mated_...that we don't have to hide anymore."

"I know what you mean," Alex said, lying down on his chest, cuddling as close to him as he possibly could. "If someone had told me just two years ago...where I would be tonight...I never would have believed it."

" _Nobody_ would have," Zeb returned with a small laugh, nipping playfully at his husband's ear before nuzzling him. "But I'm happy you _are_ here."

"I am, too," Alex said with a kiss. "I love you...so much... _ni alitha_."

"And I love you," Zeb said, returning kiss for kiss and caress for caress, remembering the first time he'd spoken the endearment to the human when they'd lain in this bunk together. The fear of loss and separation had loomed so large back then, but now it was gone.

They never had to be apart again.

There was only one thing missing.

Their baby girl. Their precious Arkalia.

XxX

(A/N) Heheh, there now. I finally wrote something that isn't soul-crushing agony. Enjoy that...cuz...we're just gonna be right back at it next time around. (sorrysorrysorry,Iloveyouall,pleasedon'tkillme!) Couple new faces this chapter, as well as the implication of some new faces. And of course, we got a bit more of Zeb's history. And, as you were promised, a wedding. Again, enjoy it, cuz next time, we'll be getting right back in to just how evil the Empire is.

And now, as always, translations! Until next we meet, dear readers, adieu.

 _La rokir rrazehan. An san ni Tinsana. L'ashkerrir an maka zei zash inkasha. La sylf belir se'an. Orra neshen ko arran in nalliri_ \- I know your name. You are my bondmate. I love you more than life itself. I will wait for you. No matter how long it takes.

 _Orra. La sylf nallir kilan fel syv vogak nikasha_ \- No. I will take care of this slime myself

 _Ul hargiri Tinsana ni sadahn. Ul fal_ _ **korrimir**_ \- He insults my brother's bondmate. He must pay

 _Ul sylf -_ He will

Saman'ka - Dear sister

Ashthar'aki'ka - precious little light dove

Sadan'aki - little brother

Zeb'aki'a - doesn't quite translate, but she's basically calling him Zeb brat

Sadan'ka - Dear brother

 _L'ashkerrir an...ni zash...ni ko'oran_ \- I love you...my life...my soul

 _L'ashkerrir an zai_ \- I love you so

 _Armorra ashkerra_ \- Eternal beloved

 _Ni astyr, sastyrial ashkerra -_ My strong, beautiful love

 _Eri...eri...La vuuser syv_ \- Yes...yes...I want this

 _Ni ashkerra...ze safken ni sashahn_ \- My love...my heart's true home

 _ni Garazeb'eka_ \- My precious Garazeb


	21. The Nightmare Awakened

(A/N) Hwow, I am so very sorry for the lateness of this chapter. As you may or may not have heard, if you've been following the Tumblr feed, it's been an interesting month or so for me, medically speaking. All of it culminating in the removal of a certain pesky gallbladder and a rather lengthy recovery period, which I'm still in the midst of. Heheh. But hey, we're getting there. My creative output's just slowed to a bit of a trickle, as opposed to the fire hydrant it has been. I've actually been spending a lot of recovery time on a Clone Wars/Rebels rewatch, not just in preparation for the new season, but also to get back into the proper headspace for Rex and Ahsoka, so's I can properly wrap up their story here. So I hope you enjoy, as we do have a long awaited reunion in this chapter. :D

 **The Colder the Winter, the Warmer the Spring**

 _Chapter 21: The Nightmare Awakened_

What had once been the Spectre Cell had grown considerably with Kallus' plan to rescue Arkalia from the _Demon's Run_. The truly interesting part of the whole escapade was that not one single quarter of the nascent Rebel Alliance had begrudged them even one iota of the resources the group had asked for. It seemed that even those who had never even met the little Lasat were anxious to help get her back from the Empire. Aid had even come from Senator Organa himself in the form of a freshly impounded smuggler's ship to lend credence to their latest bounty hunter alias.

What had once been six had multiplied to twelve by the time their somewhat newer runner, the _Rishi Maiden_ , jumped to light speed above Yavin IV for a planned four jump route that would ultimately lead them to Kamino and the _Demon's Run_. Breaking into smaller groups, they all settled in to wait out the journey, either resting or keeping busy as their nerves required.

Sabine, Ezra, Jorrah, Rex, Wedge, and Jidu had gathered in the runner's cargo bay, the small group watching as the young Jedi worked on lightsaber forms.

"So Ezra said you'd been catching more flack from your mum," Jorrah started in hesitantly, obviously aware it wasn't really his place to ask.

Sabine didn't rebuff his less than subtle attempts at consolation, though. Stars knew she needed it, and aside from Ezra, the Lasat was the only other being to witness the entire business unfold from the moment the _Nightbrother_ had touched down on Krownest. Sabine had sent her mother's task force back with Rau, but had refused to return herself while Giren Kuross was undergoing interrogation. They had clashed several times over it since then.

 _"The help we need_ _ **is coming**_ _, Mother, but this is about more than just repaying a debt. Ari's- part of my family now. She's_ _ **clan**_ _. I_ _ **have**_ _to help get her back!"_

 _"Did you acknowledge the foundling as such, then?"_

 _I may as well have._

"That's true, but this mission'll be the end of it. Once Ari's rescued, we can get on with things."

"What was it- you were saying to your mom about...clan?" Ezra asked, finally shutting his lightsaber down and turning to look at them. When she shot him a look, Ezra had the decency to look guilty. "Sorry for listening in but, in my defense, it's a little hard _not_ to overhear two people shouting at each other."

Sabine rolled her eyes. "Okay, fine. I'll give you that one. But I'm guessing you noticed when you were on Krownest...that my people adhere pretty strictly to clan structure."

"Right, but I thought that was just a family thing...like- the family you were born into."

"For many it is, but...for others, Mandalorian is less blood and more creed. In the past, beings of many different races would be adopted into the clans, treated no different from the family of one's birth, but those ideas hadn't seen a lot of favor since before the Clone Wars. They've been- gaining more ground under the Empire's nose, though. The Way of the Mandalore, those sorts of things..."

"This is the Way," Rex said quietly when she left off, drawing her gaze in his direction. If the clone captain was familiar with _that_ phrase, then the Protectors had trained the clones in _far_ more than just the ways of battle. But that was a conversation for another time.

"Ari's- well...Ari's the baby sister I never had. I've done everything but formally adopt her into Clan Wren. So yes. To me, she's clan...and clan always comes first. So if that has to be a clan of just Spectres, that's fine with me."

"Heh, Clan Spectre definitely has a ring to it," Ezra chuckled. "Does that mean we all get jetpacks?"

"You get the equipment you've actually trained to use, kid," Rex told him. "After all, you wouldn't just hand a lightsaber to someone who'd never even seen one. Would you."

"That's fair. But- _hey_ , Wedge got a helmet!"

Rex gave a laugh of his own at that. "Well, that- that's a _little_ different."

"Do hope you actually _get_ what that means," Sabine said as she cast her gaze in the young Corellian's direction, seeing him standing a little to the side with Zelina's helmet clutched tightly in both hands. It did fit him. Zelina had at least checked that. Mostly it seemed to her he was just anxious over the responsibility of it...over how it tied them together...and what it might mean if she didn't return to claim it.

"I...yes?" he started nervously, looking down at the helmet. "She said...that because she couldn't wear her armor in this fight...that she wanted _me_ to wear this for her...in the hope it would protect me."

"Mm, that's sweet," Jidu said, giving the younger rebel a good-natured dig in the shoulder. "But I guess this is also the part where we tell you that if you hurt her, we'll kill you."

"Why is it always the guy who gets the shovel talk, huh?" Wedge fired back indignantly. "How do you know _she_ won't hurt _m-_ yeah, I can't even say that with a straight face," he conceded.

"Besides, I already had that talk with her," Sabine told him. "You and Hobbie are like my little rebel loth kittens after all. Although, frankly, a Mandalorian is perfectly capable of killing her own scuzzy ex should the need arise."

"The rest of us killing you is more for our own edification," Rex pointed out, fixing the kid with a subtly warning smile that would've had anyone with half a brain trembling in their boots. And Wedge was certainly not unaffected. But they all managed a little laughter for the exchange, their thoughts now with Zelina and the dangerous task she was even now enmeshed in. They could only hope she hadn't been discovered before they reached her.

"All right, Ezra," Sabine suddenly called out, moving to join him in the middle of the floor. "We can't just sit around worrying. Let's go," she challenged as she drew the dark saber.

Ezra grinned as he reignited his weapon, the green blade illuminating his face as it shot to life. "All right, but since Kanan's not here, I'm _definitely_ not going easy on you," he joked.

Kanan Jarrus was, in fact, occupied with other matters just then, but they were more the 'cuddle tenderly with your significant other while you still can, as you've recently learned she's pregnant with your child' sort. He and Hera had found some space off the runner's tiny common area and, with everyone else occupied, they were just sitting together, him with his arm around her and a hand trailing absently along her belly while she rested her head against his shoulder.

"So I suppose it'll be a fool's hope asking you to take some time away."

"It will be that, love," she told him, fingers reaching up to tangle with his. Her voice was gentle but, as always, the tone brooked no argument. "We knew what we were signing ourselves up for when we started all this."

"Did we, though?" he found himself asking.

"How do you mean?"

"I don't know. I mean- when you told me, I was over the moon."

"Heh, I remember."

He'd been the sort of sap all the stories talked about – laughing, spinning Hera around in joy, getting to his knees before her and kissing her belly. He imagined it would've been almost sickening to watch, but he was happy dammit.

But...now that he'd had a little time for the news to sink in...

"I guess I'm just starting early on the whole worry thing. Like...are _we_ selfish for trying to raise a kid in the middle of a war?"

"You say that like we have a choice in the matter," Hera reminded him. "I know I would've once been the one to say the timing isn't right, but...is it ever?"

"Heh, you're turning into me, Hera Syndulla."

"No more than _you're_ turning into _me_ , love," she pointed out. "But I'm not worried. Not really, anyway. With the galaxy's last Jedi knight for a father, nothing's going to harm this little one."

"That also- kind of leaves me wondering," he started, their fingers tangling easily together as they ran them over her stomach, "if the baby will be like me...like Ezra. The Jedi never learned much about how Force sensitivity passes through blood."

"Well, if the baby is like you, I'm sure one or both of you will make excellent teachers," Hera reassured him.

"Heh, Ezra with a Padawan. Now I _really_ don't know what to think," he said with a small laugh, and as the varying thoughts drifted through his mind, a swatch of memory found its way to the surface – crystal blue eyes in a tiny face...a dream he couldn't quite place...

But then it clicked in his mind. Another of the visions from Alluvium. A baby boy in the cradle that had once belonged to Arkalia...a boy who was plainly strong with the Force...not Ezra's son...

 _His_ son.

His and Hera's son. What had Kallus called him?

 _Jacen._

"You're thinking pretty intently over there, Kanan," Hera's voice suddenly came through the daze of his revelation.

"Oh, just...sorting out thoughts," he said softly, thinking it probably better not to share this new piece of information just yet. After all, who was he to say how a vision from the Force was to be interpreted with any certainty? "Who would you say was a parent first? Us or Zeb?"

"I would say I was a parent before either of you. Neither of you were exactly a well-adjusted adult the first time I met you."

"Interesting to hear you say that, given the circumstances under which you first encountered Garazeb Orrelios," he said, only partly teasing as he dropped a kiss on her right lek.

"Is that jealousy I hear, Jarrus? Because as I recall, you and I weren't even sleeping together back then," she said, her voice containing the little smirk on her face. "Besides, the unfortunate fact of the matter is that adulthood isn't actually required in order to engage in sexual intercourse."

"True enough, though I wasn't aware you actually _counted_ that as sex, given."

"And, again unfortunately, I'm forced to concede that I _did_ enjoy it...just a little bit...in spite of the circumstances. Zeb was as much of a gentleman as the situation allowed for, and...categorically, he _was_ very good," she admitted, remaining perfectly relaxed against him.

"Better than _me?_ " he whined in mock hurt. Really, it was good to be able to just talk about it, to joke even, because for several years, none of them had been able to. Morverin III was not a pleasant memory for any of them.

"Physically, I think my body requires me to say yes, but there's more to the equation than just lust. Zeb's my friend, and he's a very good friend, but I _love you_ , Kanan," she told him, pressing a kiss to his jaw. "I promise you, no orgasm changes that. Besides, I'm sure you must have had _plenty_ of mind-blowing sex before I came along."

"Eh, you're not wrong," he conceded with a small chuckle and a shrug. "But none of them really knew who I was. That was all you. Stars, how did we hit this line of conversation again?"

"Parenting," she reminded him with an easy bump of her head against his shoulder. "Though, really, I don't suppose it matters all that much who was a parent first. We're all just muddling our way through."

"We are that. So maybe all that muddling'll have taught us a thing or two for this latest run."

"I'm sure it has, love. But...do you think maybe I ought to check in with the boys before the last jump? Alex was worried about-"

"No, don't worry about it," Kanan told her, stopping her from leaving when she began to shift nervously, both their thoughts drifting dangerously close to the situation they were heading into. "They can handle it. We'll let them have the bridge. Let's just stay like this a little longer."

The boys in question _were_ up on the bridge just then, easily having taken the _Rishi Maiden_ through her fourth jump _._ Zeb and Kallus had spent most of the journey largely in silence, either sitting side by side in the pilot and co-pilot's chairs, or one standing while the other sat, hands resting on shoulders or hands joined by turns.

Once Kallus had executed the final jump, sending them properly on their way to Kamino, Zeb beckoned to him, pulling him over to sit with him in the co-pilot's seat. Or rather to sit _on_ him in the co-pilot's seat. The ex-Imperial managed a soft smile as he rested his head in the crook of his husband's neck. Zeb sighed easily as he nuzzled the top of his head, breathing in the scent of his hair. The rest of him, Kallus imagined, probably reeked of unfamiliar scents, as he was decked head to toe as a bounty hunter, every bit of him covered except his head, waiting for the end of the journey before he placed a helmet on as the last piece of the disguise. He knew he was at the top of ISB's Most Wanted list right now, and he would be well known to the security forces aboard the _Demon's Run_ , as Archrem and his fellows would no doubt be expecting Kallus to come for Arkalia. So he wasn't going to disappoint them. But that didn't mean he needed to be foolish about it. He, Jidu, and Wedge would all be going into this helmeted, each of them too well-known to Zaniva's forces by this point.

"Y'know, you wouldn't do so bad as a bounty hunter," Zeb's voice threaded its way through the tangle of his thoughts. "But then, I guess you cut a kriffin' fine figure in _anything_ you wear."

"Like it, do you?" he asked, offering up a little smirk as he looked up at his mate. "Perhaps I ought to hang onto it...once this is over?"

"Wouldn't say no to that," Zeb said with an easy purr, drawing him up into a light kiss. But they didn't really separate when the kiss ended. They kept their foreheads pressed together, just enjoying the closeness, the openness. In this moment, Kallus found he truly didn't care that they were heading into unimaginable danger. Whatever happened, he had had this. He and Zeb had known this.

"This is real," he whispered reverently against his husband's lips.

"Realest thing I've ever known," Zeb returned, pecking his lips one more time before continuing with, "Think he's bored yet?"

"Oh, I'll grant the boy this. He doesn't tire easily."

"Think it'd change anything if we gave him a show?" Zeb suggested, subtly rolling his hips against him, which elicited a laugh from the ex-Imperial.

"Tempted as I am to accept the offer, no, I don't believe it would. While I am still his assignment, nothing we do will drive him off," he returned quietly, gaze darting to the corridor outside the runner's little bridge. He couldn't actually see him, but he knew Cassian was there sure enough. Ultimately, he called over Zeb's shoulder, "I do hope you don't think you're being subtle, Captain Andor."

"We don't bite, y'know," Zeb joined in before growling low in Alex's ear. "Well...don't bite _other_ people anyway."

Alex returned the playful growl with a small nip to his mate's ear just as Cassian stepped onto the bridge, eying them both dubiously. Like Kallus, he was garbed as a bounty hunter. "At no point did I imagine either of those things was true. Spying on a spy is, after all, a little different than your garden variety spying."

Raising an eyebrow at the younger man in interest, Kallus nodded at the pilot's seat, inviting him to sit. Cassian moved into the space, coming to stand beside the chair, but he did not sit.

"We are about to step into a very fraught situation, Captain. A situation in which we will both find it needful to trust in and rely upon one another. For my part, there are not many I am inclined to trust. I imagine the same is true for you. I have no intention of hanging my daughter's life on that kind of game, and I find the thought of having to puzzle you out in the next hour quite wearying. So I will simply ask. If it is permissible for you to say, what do you observe of me thus far?"

It had not been what Cassian was expecting of him. He could tell that much from the very slight twitch of his jaw. Likely he had expected the ex-Imperial to ask what he could do to gain his trust, and that would've been the exact wrong course of action. It was what a plant would say. What someone who was trying too hard to achieve a single goal would ask. But Kallus had more than one goal here. More than two, even. Because he saw something in the young captain. Possibly the same something Ahsoka Tano had once seen in Agent ISB-021.

The captain stared at him a long moment before answering, taking the time he needed to phrase properly.

"You expect a blow."

Kallus offered no reaction to his words, though he did feel Zeb tense beneath him. He simply inclined his head, inviting the younger man to continue.

"You don't display it as much around your Spectre companions, suggesting that you either feel safe among them or that you just don't wish for them to see it. It could be both. But in the presence of other rebels, you move as if you expect to be attacked. That, to me, would suggest guilt. Whether that is guilt over actually _being_ the spy Draven accuses you of being or guilt for your past deeds remains to be seen. _He_ is the only one you lower your guard for completely," Cassian said, nodding at Zeb. "If your caring for him is a lie, you are a better liar than I will ever be. Whatever your ultimate goal is, Agent Kallus, I believe you truly do care about this one."

At the implication that there was _anything_ false about him, about what they were to each other, about what they had suffered and sacrificed, Kallus felt Zeb's muscles begin to tremble beneath him in anger. And while he would've liked to express a little of that anger himself, he knew he couldn't fault Cassian for his assignment. So he soothed his mate with a firm kiss to his forehead.

" _Ze ze, ni ashkerra, ze ze. Ul or'sultir rokir,_ " he whispered against the Lasat's heated skin.

" _Ul na hargiri. Ul hargiri_ _ **an.**_ "

" _Ul san tefsa sultad ka ul sana kalla sultat...nel_ _ **La**_ _lina sana,_ " he told him, gently taking his face between his hands.

That point calmed the Lasat almost better than he had hoped. Settling beneath him, Zeb drew him into one more kiss, breathing against his lips, " _Sail La reisvir s'an tefsa li ke velkir lorinsir loa rakaln kerra'ul._ "

" _La sylf zeryln sultir ni ashynym,_ " he said, holding there for just a moment longer before turning his focus back up to Cassian. "Some striking observations, Captain. Shall I tell you what I observe of you?"

Cassian gave no answer one way or the other. He simply stood there, waiting.

"I see a man who _seeks_ an enemy. I don't believe you questioned General Draven on whether or not I was to be trusted and that is unfortunate. Not asking questions is what allows entities like the Empire to seize control, and to keep it. If you fight blindly for a cause, it will not be long before you _become_ the very thing that you hate. How old were you?" he asked.

"What?" the younger man asked, the only response he betrayed a somewhat sharper inhalation before speaking.

"The first time they put a weapon in your hand. How old were you?"

Finally understanding what it was he was asking him, Cassian's expressionless face seemed to almost stiffen.

"I was six years old."

Alex nodded. "About what I would've guessed. You've never known anything else. You wouldn't find it difficult to turn toward an enemy because it's all you know."

"So what?" Cassian asked with the tiniest of sneers. "Are you going to tell me not to view _you_ as an enemy?"

"No. I would never presume to tell you what is and is not so, for mine is only one perspective in a galaxy of trillions. You have a keen mind when you take the time to use it, so the only thing I would tell you is this," he began, finally rising from the chair. "Take the time to consider who your enemy truly _is_. If you don't fully understand _who_ you are fighting for and against, the consequences will prove...disastrous," he said at the last, voice falling off into a whisper as he turned to look out at the blur of hyperspace. For a moment, he thought he could see faces in the lights...hear voices in the hum of the hyperdrive...

 _"Dan-dan!_ _ **Dan-dan!**_ _"_

 _Lia's_ _terrified eyes as they carried her away..._

 _"Protect her...keep- keep my child safe...my treasure..."_

 _The light fading from Arekaya's eyes as she stroked Arkalia's head for the last time..._

 _"Just go to hell..._ _ **monster**_ _..."_

 _The child screaming...eyes filled with terror..._

 _"Did you believe you could be_ _ **forgiven?**_ _"_

 _The harrowing emptiness in the Lasat girl's eyes as she moved in for the kill..._

 _"Can you do it? Can you give them what they need? Even though it will_ _ **break**_ _you?"_

 _Zeb screaming as Kuross sent punishing currents of electricity through his body..._

 _"You_ _ **like it.**_ _"_

 _Archrem kneeling over Zeb's naked, defenseless form..._

 _"Your_ _ **daughter?**_ _You aided in the destruction of her people. You bore witness to the execution of her entire family. What_ _ **daughter**_ _is she to you?"_

 _ **...that child...I can still hear her screaming...**_

"Alex," Zeb's voice suddenly broke through his haze of guilt and terror. Then his mate's hand was slipping into his and he was gripping that clawed, four-fingered hand for his life.

When Zeb felt the intensity of that grip, he moved in behind him, drawing his back to rest against his chest and enfolding him properly in his other arm. The ex-Imperial shuddered in relief when he let his head fall back into the crook of the Lasat's neck once again.

" _S'in klinas. S'in sultira kol. S'an torril kol_ _ **na**_ _mal,_ " Zeb soothed him, holding him as close as he could. " _An or'san sav ulri mayka._ "

And he _knew_ that, but...at the same time...he didn't know if there would ever be a day he _didn't_ feel guilty for who he had been. Likely that was as it should be. The only thing for it was to keep going...to keep moving forward in spite of it all.

" _An san zai'ym ashyn na sir, ni ashkerra,_ " he said softly, languishing in the embrace just a moment longer before pulling away from his husband. When he looked back to Cassian, it was to find that the younger man seemed not to have stirred from his spot during his episode. But it also seemed to Kallus that he looked at him differently than he had the past month.

"Well, shouldn't be long before we need to be gettin' into position," Zeb said, reaching to give his hand one last squeeze before turning to head off the bridge. "Hera'll be roundin' us up. I'll leave you to it."

"I'll see you...when we have her back," Alex said, sharing one more small smile with his mate. Then Zeb was gone and he was alone on the bridge with Cassian, left to get into the headspace of a merciless hunter once again.

 _Shouldn't be too difficult for you, should it._

Zeb would've scolded him for the self-deprecating thought, he knew, but it was going to be different this time.

This time the old Kallus was going to help them get Arkalia back.

XxX

Zelina didn't know if she would ever get used to the sterility of her surroundings.

The scent of antiseptic was familiar to her, of course. Her father had done his best to keep his runner clean, but there was only so much one could do to keep the blood stains at bay in an increasingly violent galaxy. Chopper Base had had the same flavor of organized chaos, though it had been slightly less bloody.

But the ISD _Demon's Run_...it sometimes felt to her as if the Destroyer had been sterilized of life itself. Every surface that ever came into contact with organic matter was swiftly cleaned. But given some of the things she'd _seen_ aboard this ship, she also didn't know if all the refreshers in the galaxy would be enough to make her clean of it.

It had taken a fair few resources in order to create an airtight alias for her – an accredited researcher with specialties in xenobiology. The record and appearance that had been fabricated for her were both spotless, but she could hardly recognize herself in the little mirror when she had to look at herself each morning in her tiny living space. Even now, as she splashed water in her face, her mind couldn't accept the short bob cut that now framed her face. She looked...smaller...without her braids. So much less. And to cut them off...

 _"I can't do it," Wedge was finally forced to concede, taking a step back from the sonic sheers she held out to him. "It's like cutting your_ _ **head**_ _off."_

 _"You then," she said, turning to Rex, thrusting the sheers in his direction._

 _The look in the old clone's eyes was near to Wedge's...heartsick for her, for the need to cut away the mass of braids she loved so much...sick with fear that she might not get the chance to grow them out again._

 _But despite his own clear misgivings, Rex understood. Steeling himself, he nodded, reaching out to take the sheers from her._

Unlike all the other mornings since her arrival a week and a half ago, she didn't stop for breakfast before heading to Archrem's lab. With her stomach tying itself in knots over the operation, she didn't think it could even handle the nutritive milk that passed for food shipboard. How Wedge or Sabine or even Kallus had withstood the stuff for any length of time, she couldn't begin to guess.

She always tried to get to the lab before Archrem every morning because it was the only time she was able to interact with Arkalia unobserved. Whenever Archrem wasn't working with her, she was kept under strict lockdown in a cage in the lab. In her brief coded relay to the others, she had told them only that Arkalia was alive. She couldn't bring herself to tell them what sorts of conditions she was living under.

The little Lasat hadn't at first recognized her when Archrem had initially allowed her in with the kit. Zel knew she looked quite different, but Ari had eventually begun to recognize her, probably from her scent, plus the few surreptitious tickles and pats she'd managed to give the baby's tummy. She had to be very careful, because interaction with "the subject" outside of scientific inquiry was strictly prohibited.

When she arrived in the lab, she went directly to Ari's cage, calling out softly, "Are we awake yet?"

A lethargic coo was the response to her question. It still broke her heart to look into the cage and see the baby girl stripped of her colorful romper and placed in the grey, almost sack-like piece of clothing the Project Ash Warrior infants had been made to wear. It hurt her to see Ari shorn of the growing hair she and Ezra had so proudly braided little more than a month ago, and to see how dull and tired her bright green eyes had become.

Zel cooed in answer as she opened the cage, reaching a hand inside, waiting for Ari to crawl to her instead of reaching in to pluck her out. The little kit rubbed against her palm with a plaintive cry.

"I know. I know, _kyra_ ," she soothed as best she could, leaning into the cage to bump her forehead lightly against the little girl's before lifting her into her arms and carrying her over to the diagnostics table for all her usual morning tests and measures. Plus a little something of her own.

One of the chief reasons Zeb and Kallus had wanted a medic to be the infiltrator in the first place was less to do with credibility and more to do with Ari herself. Because they had no way of knowing exactly when the scientists of Ash Warrior had introduced the biochips to the developing fetuses or exactly how far along Arekaya had been when she'd escaped from Manaan, they had no way of knowing if Arkalia actually had a chip in her head. If she did and they attempted to rescue her, Archrem could easily use the chip to make certain that that _didn't_ happen. So the first part of Zel's mission had been to confirm whether or not a chip was present, and she'd been disheartened to discover that the baby girl did indeed have a biochip in her brain.

That made the operation more complicated. While the extraction team was infiltrating the ship, Zelina would have to surgically remove the chip herself. She couldn't do it before, because it would be noticed. So now she was slipping Ari a slow-acting sedative, a concoction of her father's making that wouldn't show up in testing, just in case Archrem decided to do any unexpected tests today. By the time the Spectres arrived, Ari would be out and Zel could remove the control chip from her head.

"My, Amara, you really _are_ in early this cycle," Archrem's voice very nearly startled her. As she turned to face the scientist, she offered him a cool smile.

"I've found the subject to be a little more responsive in the morning hours, so I thought I might try starting the cycle a little earlier, see how our readings compare for a week or so."

"Excellent initiative, dear girl. I will be most eager to see the data you gather."

"Apologies for not clearing it first, Doctor. It was a middle of the night sort of inspiration and I wanted to get started right away. It shouldn't affect any of your other work, should it?"

Thus far, Archrem had only involved Zelina with the work directly related to Ari herself, but there were other projects underway involving the genetic material he collected from her – projects Zel didn't have clearance for yet. She'd subtly been trying to gain more information, but she'd had no luck thus far.

"Not at all, my dear. But if your new observations prove of consequence, we may see about getting you that clearance. Your work so far has been exemplary, after all," he said, patting her shoulder, and even through her lab coat she could feel the clamminess of his skin. It took everything she had not to shudder beneath that touch.

"Thank you, Doctor," she returned politely, trying to pump a bit of excitement into her voice. As if she were like him...as if she actually viewed these twisted perversions as science.

"Now, Your Royal Highness, let's see what you have for us today," Archrem said as he lifted Ari from her arms. It was a struggle not to hold onto her, not to just take her and run as far from the mad scientist as humanly possible. And it was a fresh barb in her heart not to respond to the single tiny hand the little kit reached back for her, pleading, _begging_ for her help.

She could do nothing.

Nothing but wait.

 _Don't worry, Ari. Your papas are coming. We'll get you out of here if it's the last thing we do!_

XxX

"This is FX-4000 light runner _Rishi Maiden_ hailing ISD _Demon's Run_ ," Cassian signaled the Star Destroyer when they emerged from hyperspace. They didn't have long to wait for a response.

" _Rishi Maiden_ , this is a restricted area. We do not show your vessel on the day's arrival schedule. Either produce confirmation of your clearance or prepare to be fired on," a crisp, Coruscanti-accented voice came over the line.

"Ach! Ease up on that trigger finger, _Demon's Run_ ," Cassian snapped back in put upon worry and annoyance. "We have a commission fob."

"Do you now? How would that be? As we have only one fob active at the moment," the officer pointed out.

"Yes. I know. I took it from Giren Kuross when I slit his throat," Cassian informed the Imperial. "So you'll be dealing with _my_ crew from now on. Transmitting now," he finished, inserting the fob they'd taken from Kuross into the console.

" _Rishi Maiden_ , you are clear to proceed," the controller told them several moments later. "We will, of course, need to complete some registration. I can't imagine you understand just what sort of "gig" it is you've gotten yourselves into."

"Oh, we've got an idea," Kallus said once Cassian had shut comms down, his voice coming through metallic and harsh from the filter setting on his helmet. "You have this handled?"

"No problem," the younger spy said without looking at him, focusing on guiding the ship in to dock with the Destroyer.

"Then I'll see you below," Kallus said before heading off the bridge, down to the bay where they would be meeting the inspection team.

Wedge and Jidu were there already, getting Jorrah and Rex rigged up as prisoners. Kallus knew Zeb had been ready to volunteer for this role, but Jorrah had jumped in before he could, claiming he was better equipped to deal with the treatment they were likely to receive than was Zeb, and much though Kallus didn't doubt his husband had wanted to argue, they all knew it was true. So Zeb was now hiding with the other Spectres in the _Maiden's_ smugglers' hold, waiting for their signal.

"We all good up top?" Jidu asked as she locked binders in place around Rex's wrists.

"Andor's bringing us in now."

"We'll finally be able to get this over with," Wedge said, voice anxious as he finished up with Jorrah's binders.

"Just keep a cool head there, hot shot," Jidu made an effort to tease him. "We'll bust these nerfherders wide open."

Further talk was silenced by the sound of the runner landing inside the Destroyer's hangar bay. Once the ship was powered down, they all waited in silence for Cassian to join them. As he was the only one of this gang of bounty hunters that was un-helmeted, he was acting as the captain of the outfit. When he finally did arrive, he asked, "Everyone in position?", waiting only for a nod from Kallus before proceeding to lower the _Maiden's_ boarding ramp.

As anticipated, a cadre of stormtroopers quickly marched up the ramp, surrounding the group, even though Jidu, Wedge, and Kallus already had blasters trained on Rex and Jorrah, now on their knees in the center of the bay.

"Warm welcome, this," Cassian said as he looked around at the small sea of white surrounding them, keeping a cool, collected attitude throughout it all. When a uniformed officer entered the bay behind the troopers, the younger man immediately began speaking to him, as if none of the others were present. "Expecting trouble from us, are you?"

"No trouble we couldn't _handle_ , Captain...?"

"Korin. Captain Lio Korin, at your service."

"And why did you find it necessary to murder Giren Kuross?"

"Murder's a strong word," Cassian replied with a shrug. "Giren and I had an old score to settle. Thought I might add insult to injury and collect on his current assignment. Judging by all _this_ , I'd say it's going to be well worth my efforts."

"It may do, yes. Are you aware of any of the details of the commission you've...inherited?" the officer asked with a cool smile.

"Not a damn thing. Only data the fob had was that the _sleemo_ was contracted to hunt Lasat. Don't know why the old fossil was in Giren's hold, but we figured we'd bring him along for the ride."

"Well...Kuross did know of the doctor's interest in procuring more clones. Central's been working through the current batch _so_ quickly."

Rex didn't react to the Imperial's words. Not really. He'd already been glaring surreptitiously up at the man. The only response he betrayed was a very slight widening of the eyes.

"Think we can do business then?" Cassian asked, nonchalantly crossing his arms over his chest.

"We may be able to yet," the Imperial officer said with a sneer that was entirely too pleased. To one of the troopers, he gave the order, "Search the ship. Call in a scanning crew if you deem it necessary. If you find anyone onboard who isn't supposed to be, bring them straight to me."

"Yessir."

"Follow me," the officer said to Cassian. 'Forcing' their prisoners to their feet, his would-be crew quickly fell into step behind the two men. And waiting for them at the base of the ramp was their first obstacle.

Two stormtroopers with sensory deprivation helmets.

Both Rex and Jorrah had been prepared for the possibility, especially if the devices were still standard operating procedure for Zaniva. Even so, it didn't mean any of them was pleased with the notion. Jorrah gave a snarl and a brief struggle against Wedge for show as the helmet was placed over his head.

Trained soldier as he was, Rex didn't visibly react to having the device placed on him, but Kallus could feel how he tensed once it was in place. Immediately, his thoughts were taken back to what Zeb had said of the experience. How he had been deprived of contact with the world around him and the only thing he'd wished for in that void was something to tether him to reality...something to prove he wasn't losing his mind...

Tightening his grip on the clone's arm as if he were steering him, he carefully maintained the contact as they walked.

This could prove to be a problem if the two had to remain in the helmets for any extended length of time. Zeb had been locked in a helmet for nearly two hours and Kallus had seen the effect that had had on him. He had been reduced to a state of near helplessness, the very air and light enemies to hyper-sensitized senses. Jorrah, at least, was not unfamiliar with these effects, but Rex...what might happen to him if they couldn't get him out quickly?

 _Just keep it together in there,_ he urged silently as they followed the officer through the Destroyer. _We'll get you out of that horrid thing. We_ _ **will**_ _get out of here._ _ **All**_ _of us._

On and on they moved through the maze of the huge ship, with Kallus keeping track of their location from moment to moment. All Star Destroyers had fundamentally the same layout anyway, so this was the easy part for him. Where they ultimately ended up was some sort of conference room near the Destroyer's brig. The officer indicated that Cassian ought to have a seat at the little table in the room, while the rest of them kept guard of their two prisoners. They were kept waiting for what seemed like an exorbitant amount of time, but that was no particular surprise to the ex-Imperial. Bounty hunting scum was not top priority in the eyes of the Empire, after all.

When someone finally did arrive, it was a scientist Kallus didn't recognize, so he was at least grateful not to have to deal with Archrem right away.

"So these are the new ones?" the woman asked, looking over them with a disdainful eye. "Not that I'm _surprised_ a man like Kuross had enemies, mind, but at least we knew him."

"Oh, it will be straight to registration with this lot just as soon as we've concluded our business. What do you think?" the officer asked, nodding toward Jorrah.

The scientist approached the young Lasat, removing the sens-dep helmet quickly. Jorrah came into the dim light of the room gasping and snarling, eyes screwed tightly shut. Kallus didn't doubt he would've been covering his ears had he been able to. Involuntarily, he began to pull back, but Wedge shoved him forward again.

"Keep in line there, you!" the young pilot snapped, subtly letting Jorrah know he wasn't alone.

Thankfully, this scientist managed to go through her line up of checks in relative silence compared with Garst Archrem, having a look in his mouth, ears, and eyes when she managed to force them all open, deftly avoiding being bitten when he couldn't help but go after her. All too painfully, Kallus was reminded of when Zeb had gone through all this, and was selfishly glad he was not here now.

"Yes. I think he will serve. Nice and young, only just entering his prime. And this one?" she asked, nodding at Rex. "Definitely a clone?"

"Most definitely."

"Then we won't bother with the helmet yet. Perhaps best to leave him in suspension until we have a clearer idea of destination. I'll report the acquisitions to Dr. Archrem. Perhaps our new friends might be up for a little transport duty if all goes well," she said, looking to Cassian with a raised eyebrow.

Cassian returned the look with a shrug and a cavalier smile. "Madam, if the price is right, I'll do anything you like."

Smirking wryly, the scientist shook her head, laughing as she exited the room. The officer then nodded to two of the troopers who'd accompanied them. "Take our new acquisitions to the detention block."

Immediately, the two troopers took over aiming blasters at Jorrah and Rex. Kallus pointedly removed both hand and blaster away from the clone's body, hoping the shift in sensation would indicate to Rex that custody was switching. Shoving them along, the two troopers quickly escorted their new prisoners from the room. The team was now left with the officer and two remaining stormtroopers.

"And now for the lot of you," the officer said, looking back from Cassian and down the line of helmeted bounty hunters. "I assume we have identification scans in proper order?"

"Of course," Cassian said, leaning to the side as if to reach into a pocket in his jacket, but when the man wasn't expecting, he swiftly jerked across the space between them and delivered a hard blow to the side of his head, laying him out flat.

Before either trooper could react, Kallus and Jidu had turned on them, taking them both out with precision. At the same moment, Wedge had flung a laser dart at the room's one security cam, quickly taking it offline. While Cassian, Ji, and Wedge worked on getting into disguise, Kallus pulled out his comlink.

"MedStar One, this is Spectre Seven. Do you copy?"

For several long moments, there was nothing on the line but silence.

"MedStar One, _please_ respond," he repeated, desperation creeping in.

"This is MedStar One," Zelina's voice finally came through, shaken, but still holding together. "I copy."

There was a weight to the young woman's voice that hadn't been there the last time they'd spoken with her, and Kallus wouldn't doubt she would need to have a talk with someone when it was all over but, for now, they had a mission to carry out.

"What is your position?"

"R&D, Medical wing. Objective is under. Archrem was called away only just now, so I'm a little late to begin the procedure. I'll begin just as soon as we disconnect."

"And the sector is still under guard?"

"Always. I'll contact you again when I'm finished. MedStar One out."

Just as soon as Zel had disconnected, Kallus moved to a different frequency.

"Spectre One, what is your position?"

"Just got clear of our other friends," Kanan's voice came through much faster. "Spectre Six and I are _escorting_ our prisoners to the detention block."

"Then you will have to keep an eye out for our other two parcels. They were also sent to the detention block. And they did place them in sens-dep."

"How's MedStar coming?"

"Operating now. We'll be heading up to her momentarily. You will need to free any other prisoners you find. More may have arrived since MedStar's last communication."

"On it. Spectre One out."

"So far, so good," Kallus said as he looked up at his compatriots. Jidu, being the shortest of them, had changed into the officer's uniform. Upon close inspection, it was a hair too big for her, but there was no help for that. Cassian and Wedge had donned the sets of stormtrooper armor, Wedge holding a blaster in one hand and Zelina's helmet in the other. "Kanan and Ezra are on their way to the detention block with Sabine and Zeb. The next move is ours," he said, taking the Mandalorian helmet from Wedge's hands.

"Ugh," Wedge shuddered as he and Cassian formed up on either side of Kallus. "Not that the TIE suits were much better, but I'm suddenly happy I was never on the stormtrooper track. You- you've got that?" he asked, nodding down at the helmet in Kallus' hands.

"Won't let it go," he reassured the young rebel, figuring the Mandalorian armor stood in his psyche about where Zeb's bo-rifle would stand in his own. "Let's get going."

Wearing a lens again to conceal her distinct part-Allurian heritage, Jidu took the lead out of the conference room, following the directions from the schematic Zel had previously sent them to the lift that would take them up to the Research and Development level. Star Destroyers, of course, did not typically possess an R&D sector, but for something with the specializations of the _Demon's Run_ , the Medical sector was simply equipped as a laboratory wing. And it was in that place their sweet Arkalia had been imprisoned the last month and a half. As the lift rose through the many decks of the Destroyer, Kallus allowed himself only one brief thought of the small Lasat, knowing that anything else risked overwhelming him.

 _I'm coming, Lia. I swear it. Hold on just a_ _ **little**_ _longer, dear heart._

XxX

Kallus had dictated no blasters for as long as they could manage it, and thus far the Spectres had stuck to the tenet. One round of blaster fire would be all it would take to alert their enemies that something was wrong. And they weren't exactly equipped to go up against the full crew compliment of a Destroyer like the _Demon's_ Run. So Ezra and Kanan had quietly taken out two members of the inspection team, donned their armor, and escorted Sabine and Zeb out of the _Rishi Maiden_ , supposedly disarmed. Though Zeb was not particularly pleased to be without his bo-rifle, he knew it was necessary.

They were not stopped on the way down to the detention block, and taking out the troopers and officers on duty was no particular challenge for the two Jedi. It wasn't until they'd pulled the block thoroughly off the Destroyer's grid that they began to encounter problems.

"Where's Rex?" Zeb asked when he caught sight of Jorrah making his way out of a deactivated cell.

"Th- they took him away," the young Lasat said as he struggled toward them, shivering, still suffering the effects of the sens-dep helmet. "We got split up. The guy said something about- taking him up to R&D..."

"Karabast," Zeb snarled in worry. "Just _had_ to go and get himself dragged off." It wasn't his fault. Of _course_ it wasn't, but it was still a frustrating situation.

"Looks like our head count's about sixty," Sabine reported once the prisoners had all emerged from their cells, mostly Lasat, but a handful of other species as well. "Little bit more than Zel's initial report, but it's nothing we can't handle."

"All right, change of plan," Kanan declared. "Zeb, Ezra, you're taking the maintenance shaft up to the R&D deck. Find Rex and get him out. Then you meet up with us back at the _Ghost_ ," he said before passing Zeb's confiscated bo-rifle back to him.

"On it," Ezra said, hurrying back to join Zeb. Then they were off.

Another thing Kallus had been able to inform them of from Zelina's schematic was the maintenance shaft that ran from the top to the bottom of the Star Destroyer, reaching nearly every single one of its decks. It allowed for swift, unobserved travel throughout the ship. While the shaft didn't connect directly to the detention block, there wasn't a massive amount of distance between them, and they'd be able to slip any prisoners they found up through the shaft unnoticed, as the maintenance tunnel had no security cams installed.

Now, though, Zeb and Ezra were mounting the simple lift platform inside the shaft, sending it rocketing up through the Destroyer's many decks, readying for a fight, but also hoping they didn't hate what they found at the end of the ride _too_ much.

XxX

Having served with Anakin Skywalker and Ahsoka Tano, Rex had often found it necessary to serve as the cool head among the three of them. As such, he had often found himself trying to take up some of the meditation lessons Anakin had _attempted_ to pass on to Ahsoka (attempted being the absolute key word in the statement). And while his feelings regarding Anakin Skywalker were somewhat...complicated...of late, that didn't make the ability to calm his mind any less useful when the sens-dep helmet had descended over his head.

He'd appreciated Kallus' efforts to help keep him grounded throughout, but the monumental task of keeping himself centered while locked in silent darkness was largely with him.

It wasn't like being frozen in carbonite. That had been like...being trapped between moments. Perfectly frozen between one breath and the next, body struggling for existence in that single harrowing moment before finally achieving the next.

This...this was like being plunged into a void. And he was fast losing his ability to climb out of that void. He didn't want to imagine what it must have been like for Zeb, trapped in a full sensory deprivation unit.

 _Keep it together, Rex. You're getting out of here. They'll come. Just have to keep it together._

How long had it been? How long since he'd 'switched hands'? Been shoved even further into the Star Destroyer. Bound to some surface, the cold of the metal bands against his arms the only thing keeping him from slipping off into permanent nothingness.

Could he actually _die_ like this? Or would it just be a descent into madness? Somehow he thought he would prefer death, rather than to lose himself. It was a kind of death, wasn't it? To lose what he had been...to lose everything he'd ever cared for...all of his pain and sorrow, everything he believed in...everything he _loved_.

But what of that remained?

 _Ahsoka...I'm afraid._

And at the point when he was truly frightened there would be no pulling his mind from the endlessness...he thought he could hear her voice...just at the back of his mind...just beyond his reach...

 _Don't be afraid. You're_ _ **strong**_ _, Rex. The strongest being I've ever known. You_ _ **will**_ _make it through. Just hold on._

Oh, now he really _was_ losing it. Mind so far gone as to resort to pulling her voice from the depths of his fragmenting memory...

Still...if her voice was to be the last sliver of sanity he was left clinging to before he dissipated altogether...then that wouldn't be such a bad thing.

"Ahsoka...Ahsoka..."

He couldn't hear himself speak...couldn't feel her name on his tongue. All he had to know he'd given voice to it was the breath he'd gathered to speak it.

Then the helmet was being ripped off and he was lost in a violent deluge of blinding light and harsh noise.

Unprepared for the shift, the light to his eyes was like a blaster bolt straight to them before he could jam them shut. The sound of his own cry had much the same effect on his ears, unaided by the sudden roar of the ship's recycled air against them. The scent of disinfectant assaulted his nose, driving him near to nausea.

 _Breathe. Just breathe._

"Ahsoka?" a deep, grating voice joined the din clanging in his ears. "Who is Ahsoka?"

"Someone- someone whose name _you'll_ never be worthy enough to speak, sleemo!" he snarled as best he could.

"Oh? Now how do you know that, soldier? We've only just met, after all. Look at me."

Rex growled, spitting in the direction he heard the voice coming from.

"Really now. Is that any way to behave?"

"Get karked!"

" _Look at me,_ _ **clone!**_ "

This demand was accompanied by a painful electric jolt throughout his body, forcing an agonized cry from his lips. Breathing heavily, he willed his eyes open, merely to slits, just barely making out the image of the scientist through the hideous glare of the lights. The man offered him an ugly leer, features occasionally thrown into sharp relief from the sparks jumping from his probe tool.

"There we are. That wasn't so hard, was it. These things really do go so much better with cooperation."

"Cooperation for what?" he bit out, forcing his eyes to remain open. "Stripping me down to parts like some outdated clanker?"

Archrem thought about it a moment before shrugging and smirking. "Well, yes, but that _is_ what you are _for_ , isn't it? Serving the greater purposes of the government that commissioned you?"

"Last I checked, I was _commissioned_ by the Republic. _Not_ the Empire."

"Whatever term you choose, it matters little. You were bought and paid for. A piece of property."

"Oh, you don't wanna go down this road with me, doc," he said, glaring at the man, who shrugged indifferently as he pulled back from him, going to check the data feeds from a nearby terminal.

"As you will. I can't imagine we have much to say to each other after all. You are nothing but a body to me," he said without even looking at him, "a mildly complex meat puzzle which houses the secrets of the Kaminoans."

"Well, sorry for the inconvenience," he ground out, eyes still barely adjusted to the harsh white light of the lab space. Looking beyond the surgical table he was bound to, he began to catch glimpses of other _experiments_ through the white. Organs suspended in containers, de-fleshed limbs displaying the muscle and bone beneath, a spine, skulls, myriad other bones. One container even seemed to house a complete nervous system. And these were just the things he saw that his mind could make _sense_ of.

 _Spare parts._

It really did take the very last inch of his considerable self control not to be sick.

"What have you done?" he whispered in horror.

"No more than I must to carry out my mandate. I promise you, your 'brothers' serve a much greater purpose in _this_ form than they ever could as individual units. Though I will, of course, understand if that comes as little consolation," the scientist said as he prepped some sort of injection.

"And just what is your _mandate?_ " Rex spat out, unable to help struggling against his bonds. It was starting to look like they'd stumbled across _more_ than just the dregs of Project Ash Warrior.

"Perfect genetic manipulation," Archrem said, an almost exultant look on his face as he drew nearer to Rex once again. " _So_ much more than what your makers accomplished with the clone army. After all, they were simply duplicating life. What I seek is something a great deal more...profound," he finished, sneering down at Rex with the needle in hand.

Rex struggled, even though he knew it would do no good. Struggled until he felt the prick of the needle in his neck, quickly delivering whatever compound it was the mad scientist had prepared.

He cried out as a jagged bolt of pain lashed through his body, the substance dealing harshly with his veins. As his blood was ravaged, both boiling and freezing by turns, he writhed in agony on the table, unable to keep back the screams.

This time he really did throw up.

"So sorry about that," Archrem's voice was suddenly at his ear, right there next to him. "I suppose I should've warned you... _CT-7567_."

Somewhere in the throes of his agony, the sound of his designation on Archrem's lips registered...and what that meant...

They knew. They knew who he was. It was a matter of Imperial record that CT-7567 was with the Rebellion. And if they knew who he was-

"I hope your friends enjoyed their journey here," the doctor's mocking voice slithered into his ear yet again. "It really will be the last one they ever take."

XxX

"Spectre Seven, what's your position?"

"Good to hear from you, MedStar One. We are two corridors away from the entrance to R&D. Ready for extraction?"

"Operation is complete. I think we're both more than ready to get out of here."

"All right. Time to have a little fun," Jidu said as Kallus cut the connection. As the group headed into the next corridor, the ex-Imperial turned toward Wedge.

"Ready?"

"As I'll ever be," the young pilot said, spreading his arms wide as if to welcome a blow.

And Kallus didn't disappoint. He leveled one of his less devastating punches at the indistinct white face plate, laying Wedge out flat in the middle of the corridor. Then he drew his blaster and began firing wildly down the hallway, purposely missing hitting Jidu and Cassian.

"Trooper down! Trooper down!" Ji shouted, as if desperately attempting to comm a superior officer. "Blaster fire outside R&D. I have a trooper down. I need backup!"

They were never going to be able to trick the guards away from their posts. Not in a situation like this. The only thing to do was stage a fight. And they were not disappointed when one of the guards appeared at the far end of the corridor, hurrying toward them. Kallus didn't bother firing at him. When Cassian made a show of being hit and going down, the guard rushed to Jidu's side, allowing her to deliver a stun blast to his head with him none the wiser. Backing away from Kallus while still firing, the young woman moved into the last corridor.

Kallus moved up quickly, firing wildly around the corner. Taking a quick glimpse into the space, he saw Ji moving toward the last guard, who was gearing up to return fire, but he never made it that far. The moment Ji had reached his side, he met the same fate as his compatriot, slumping soundlessly to the floor.

"And we are officially on borrowed time," Kallus said, signaling Cassian and Wedge that it was all right to get up, which they did quickly. Then the small team was racing silently into the sector, heading toward the location Zelina had informed them of. There was no telling when it might prove useful for the scientists to believe the young Mandalorian was one of them, so they'd planned to run this as a sort of hostage situation.

But when the doors all around them began to slam shut, all locking and jamming, Kallus got the distinct impression the plan would be changing.

"Uh-oh," Jidu started as the group came to an abrupt halt, her eyes darting furtively about the space like a wild thing in a cage.

"I've got a bad feeling about this," Wedge muttered nervously as they formed up around each other, no point of attack left unmonitored. Then a voice sounded overhead.

"Welcome to the _Demon's Run_ , my little monkey-lizards. I know you're out there, _Alexsandr_."

 _Kriff. Ah, well._

"I don't suppose there's any chance we might be civil about this?" he asked, looking up as he removed his helmet.

"I hope you weren't so foolish as to think I would simply allow you to walk in here and take what is mine," the scientist chided over the comm. "You are in _my_ hands now, _Agent_ , and I will _greatly_ enjoy watching you die."

With that, a sickening hissing sound began to fill the corridor. The sound of some sort of gas being vented into the air.

"What is that?" Kallus demanded, still looking overhead.

"A little parting gift for you, Kallus. Tell me, what are your thoughts on the Empire's use of ziridox 9 in the Andive purge?"

He caught the scent then. The sickly sweet, cloying scent of the deadly gas. They had only seconds.

"Wedge, put this on!" he snapped, throwing Zelina's helmet at the young Corellian. "The trooper helmet won't help. You two, hold your breath as long as you can. We'll just- have to buddy breathe," he said to Cassian and Ji before jamming his own helmet back on, taking several breaths of the now filtered air. Already, he'd been feeling a slight wave of nausea from even that tiny bit of the ziridox 9 he'd breathed. He could see the other two spies' faces going green with it as they held their breaths. Wedge, at least, was all right, protected by the red and violet helmet that stood out almost comically from the rest of the white armor.

"Alex, talk to me!" Zeb's voice suddenly snapped over his comlink, dispensing with codes. "What's goin' on in there?"

"Archrem's flooded the corridors with ziridox 9. Where are you?"

"Rex was moved to R&D. Ezra and me were comin' after him, but they shut down the sector before we could get through. I'm gonna try and force the doors."

"Don't you dare! Even if it isn't concentrated, this stuff will be no less deadly to you and Ezra. We'll have to find a way to shut it down," he said, breathing deeply before removing the helmet and passing it to Cassian, who took it gratefully. Wedge did the same before passing the Mando helmet to Jidu.

"So how the kriffing _kriff_ are you four staying alive in there?" Zeb demanded. "We have to get you out _now!_ "

"We have two helmets between the four of us," Cassian took up the explanation. "We won't die right away, at least."

"Right. Now tell me why I find that _less_ than comforting," Zeb growled back.

"Well, if you come up with something better, we'd _love_ to hear about it," Jidu joined in. "We're not exactly swimming in options here."

" _Gah!_ Karabast! We'll come up with _somethin'_ ," the Lasat snarled with an edge of desperation in his voice.

"We'll just have to keep going," Cassian said.

Kallus nodded his agreement, retaking his position at the head of the group and forging ahead at a much more measured pace. He would be able to hold his breath a few more minutes before needing to ask Cassian for the helmet again, but he knew they couldn't keep this up forever. And what exactly was the extent of the gas flooding? At the very least, it seemed limited to R&D, but what more than that? Was it simply the corridors? Or was it the entirety of the sector? Were Arkalia and Zelina in danger right now as well?

There were just too many unknowns to formulate further than the corridor ahead of them. There was little choice but to keep going and hope they could force another opportunity from the multitude of dead ends Archrem had left them with. So the ex-Imperial continued on through the now-poisoned air, covering his mouth and nose with a gloved hand to prevent even the possibility of breathing it in. He was _not_ going to surrender. He was _not_ going to give in.

He was going to get Lia out or die trying.

XxX

Zelina had begun to erase data almost the moment she'd disconnected with Kallus. After all, their goal here today was not only to rescue Ari, but to destroy Ash Warrior completely, so that no part of it could ever be recreated from its own ruins. She was just making a final sweep of the systems to make certain everything that was connected to at least this system was gone when she heard Archrem's voice overhead, pronouncing the intended fate of her friends as her only way out of the lab automatically locked and sealed.

Wedge, at least, would be safe from the ziridox gas in her helmet, but what about the others? She had to hope they would find a way to stay alive. She couldn't risk further contact now. The sector was on lockdown and any transmissions would be stringently monitored. So far she couldn't detect the telling scent of ziridox 9, so the gas seemed to be confined to the corridors.

"Doctor Archrem?" she commed him privately once he'd fallen silent on the overhead. "What's happening?"

"Nothing you need worry yourself over, my dear. Just some insurgents trying to make trouble for us. You will be safe if you remain _exactly_ where you are. Maintenance will clean up the mess afterwards."

"Doctor, I'm not-" she said before cutting herself off, timing the move with shutting down the lab's overhead security, making it appear that something had glitched. "Yeah, kark that, _hut'uun_."

She had to get out. She had to get Ari out. There were breath masks on hand right here with her. She just had to get them to the others. But she hadn't finished destroying the lab. That would've been the task of Kallus and the others when they arrived. The only weapons she had on hand were the chemicals here in the lab. Well, those and...one other she could hardly lift.

Archrem had mounted Kallus' bo-rifle in the lab as a reminder of what their tiny subject was one day meant to be...what it was they were striving to create. Being Mandalorian and having more than her fair share of experience with weapons, she didn't doubt she could work the thing, but the bo-rifle was meant for a warrior much larger than she would ever be.

Well, nothing for it. The lab _had_ to be destroyed, and if this was the only way, she had to do it. But how was she getting out?

Glancing upward toward the grates in the ceiling, she recalled some of Ezra's tales of sneaking through ventilation shafts. If _he_ could still manage it, then she could certainly fit into those ducts. Though she didn't think there would be quite enough space to carry both Ari _and_ the bo-rifle. That, she would just have to drag behind her.

So, gathering up the room's stash of emergency breath masks, she fixed one first to her own face, then the smaller one that had been specifically sized for Ari to the little Lasat's face. She supposed she could be grateful that Ari was still passed out after the surgery she'd undergone and wouldn't be making a fuss throughout this whole ordeal. On impulse she gathered up some of the chemicals in syringes and strapped them to her belt. If they really were the only weapons she was capable of using, it would be better to have them than to not have them.

Then she went to the mounted bo-rifle, pulling the heavy weapon down off the wall with a great deal of difficulty, nearly pinning herself beneath it when it finally came free. Once she'd gotten the staff-like weapon down to the floor, she figured out how to collapse it. It wasn't any lighter, but she could at least manage to lift it in this configuration. Taking aim with the weighty thing, she began to fire on the lab, turning every last piece of very expensive equipment into mounds of scrap and melted slag. Once it was done, she would've very much liked to just collapse with the rifle and just breathe for a moment. It was so heavy...

...but she couldn't stop now. This was only step one of the journey. There was a great deal further still to go. So, struggling to place the heavy weapon at her back, she began to climb it up to the ceiling. up to the vent nearest one of the walls.

It took all of her strength to make that climb, to drag that impossibly heavy weapon up away from the pull of the artificial gravity along with her own weight, to push aside that grate and heave the bo-rifle through the opening. If she hadn't been aware that simply letting herself fall once it was done was a whole list of problems she couldn't afford right now, she might not have found the strength to pull herself up through the opening after it.

She took no more time to rest than was absolutely necessary, climbing back down into the lab the moment she felt steady enough. Moving quickly back to Ari, she removed her lab coat and fashioned a sling from it to carry the baby Lasat in, securing her carefully but firmly against her chest. Then she gathered up the remaining emergency masks (only three in number, so she _really_ hoped she was right about Wedge) and scrambled back up the wall and through the grate, being careful to replace it on her way out.

In order to be able to pull off a trap like this, the sector would either have to be on two different atmospheric delivery systems or one system that could easily be divided. She would have to figure out which it was. So, with Ari cradled securely against her breast and Kallus' bo-rifle dragging awkwardly behind her, she began to crawl in the direction of the sector entry point, listening intently for the sounds of a fight.

If they had managed to survive the initial release of the gas, it wouldn't take Archrem long to send in troops to flush them out.

XxX

They had mostly managed to master their buddy breathing system, but of course this mastery came only in time for death troopers wearing specialized breathing helmets to be sent in after them. The two pairs barely had time to duck for cover when the cadre appeared at the end of the corridor.

 _You really_ _ **were**_ _prepared for this, weren't you, Garst,_ Kallus thought bitterly as he passed the helmet to Cassian.

"Some rescue, this!" Jidu called across the hallway after sniping one of the troopers, barely managing to regain her cover before being hit herself. Wedge kept up a steady stream of potshots while keeping his nose and mouth. He and Ji had to switch more often than he did with Cassian, but that was to be expected.

"Can't keep it up forever," Cassian agreed, laying down a few shots of his own, although it was becoming harder to spot their enemies through the growing haze of the gas. "Hope this kid is worth the trouble."

"You'll understand when you meet her," Jidu called back, speaking where Kallus could not. "Everybody always does."

Kallus kept up his own stream of fire, mostly hoping to get lucky, but also tracking the source whenever a bolt of light burst out of the haze. He didn't realize just how long it had been until black dots began to spot his vision.

Oh. Right. Breathing.

"Stay sharp there, Fulcrum."

Vaguely, he became aware of Cassian bumping against him, attempting to pass off the helmet. He struggled to grab for it, but he couldn't quite make his fingers close around the material. Cassian ultimately had to shove the thing down over his head.

Awareness returned quickly with the snap of clean air in his lungs. Even though Cassian couldn't speak anymore, he made his meaning perfectly plain with his eyes.

 _It's going to take all of us to get out of here in one piece._

Now able to use the helmet to pick out heat signatures within the gas, he could fire more accurately, but he didn't suppose they would make much headway potshotting at _death troopers_ of all things.

 _There's got to be a way through. There_ _ **has**_ _to be._

And indeed there was. It was just _far_ from what he was expecting.

"Kallus!"

The voice came from _above_ him of all places. Wondering if he hadn't maybe accidentally inhaled some of the gas, he took cover and glanced up.

And there, lifting away from the other ceiling panels, was one of the grates that led up into the ventilation grid. And peering out of the new opening was none other than Zelina Arsane herself.

"I- _Zelina?_ " he called out in amazement.

"Are you guys all right? What's going on down there?"

"We're- all right," he managed to choke out, beginning to master himself. "We've been buddy breathing."

"Here," she said, pulling something from somewhere in the vent with her. Then a breath mask was dropping into his hands, which he quickly passed to Cassian, who secured it to his face with a breath of relief.

"One more!" he called to her, and she quickly supplied it. Wedge was back in Zelina's helmet, so Kallus slid the second mask across the floor to Jidu, who scrabbled for it a few moments before managing to secure it.

"Zel!" he started to plead, turning his attention back up to the young Mandalorian. "Where is Lia? Is she safe?"

Zelina nodded, shifting a little within the confined space, and there, nestled against her breast, he could just make out the top of the baby Lasat's head. He couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. She was safe. She was alive. His little girl...his Lia...

"I've got her. She'll be safe with me. Can you fall back?"

Kallus shook his head. "Not yet. Archrem still has Rex. We need to get him out. Any idea where he might be held?"

"A few. I'll have to get a move on."

"All right. I'll comm Zeb and Ezra, see if we can't get you some help."

"Oh, hey! You might need this," she started all of a sudden. Then, with a few more pronounced moments of wriggling around inside the shaft, the young medic began to shove something more through the little opening and, almost before Kallus knew it, his bo-rifle was dropping down into the corridor.

Kallus felt something in him ease as his hands closed around the familiar weapon. He was half-tempted to ask how she'd gotten it, but it wasn't important just then. He could do some _real_ damage with this.

"Thank you. Now take Lia, go and help Rex. We'll make our way to you."

Zelina nodded once before sliding the grate back into place, concealing both her and Lia from sight. Blaster fire continued to ping ineffectually by as Kallus pulled out his comlink once again.

"Spectre Four, do you read?" he pressed, slipping back into code, knowing he didn't want the risk of their enemies knowing where Zel and Lia were.

"Yeah, Seven, you got me. What's happenin'?"

"MedStar One is in the wind. I repeat, MedStar One is in the wind and heavily laden," he reported, using the code Ezra had come up with for his jaunts through ventilation shafts.

"Good to hear."

"Spectre Six would do best to see if he can't follow suit. We are still pinned down in here."

"Haha, right. I'm on it," Ezra's voice joined in on the conversation. "Just gotta find a means of, y'know, _breathing_."

"Pfft, always complaining," he said with a faint smile. "Spectre Seven out."

That done, he tucked the comlink away, beginning to check his rifle over to see that it was combat ready. Thankfully, Archrem didn't seem to have toyed with it in any way. Now things could _really_ get interesting. Taking his position and making his mark, he quickly took out two unwary troopers.

 _You think you can harm my family and get away with it? I'll show you._

XxX

Through a drugged haze of confusion and pain, Rex heard all of it...heard what his friends were going through in the suddenly impassable corridors. Eventually he heard Archrem lose visual contact with what was happening due to his own lack of foresight in flooding the sector with gas. All he seemed to be getting from the troopers he'd sent in was that they had _not_ yet taken out their targets, to which Rex gave a tiny, stilted laugh.

"Think it's amusing, do you?" the scientist asked him, and Rex could picture the half-mocking, half-annoyed glare on his face, even though he could no longer properly turn his head to look at him. "The fact that your friends are in mortal peril."

"Heh, we've had- mortal peril before," he returned, eyes fixed blearily ahead, his body hanging limply within his restraints. "Hasn't...hasn't- stopped us _yet_."

"Well, we'll just see about that," Archrem snipped. Rex was quite certain he'd rather not know the name of the tool he heard starting up. "Unfortunately, we don't really have time to wait for the compound to set in, so I'm afraid this will be quite painful. But you will be no good to them as a corpse, so I suppose we'll just start with the head."

Rex would've very much _liked_ to struggle, but he just couldn't make his body move, no matter how desperate his thoughts, and even those were quickly beginning to slip away from him. He was even losing the ability to care that his last sight would be Archrem, standing over him with an ugly-looking sonic saw.

 _Ahsoka...I'm sorry. I guess we'll be together sooner than you would've liked._

 _ **NO!**_

"...'soka?" he mumbled distantly.

Only...it wasn't _her_ voice he heard.

" _STOP!_ "

 _Zelina?_

"Stop! _Stop!_ " the young Mandalorian pleaded as she dropped down into the space from above, half-falling, until she was standing between him and Archrem.

"'lina...no...what're- you _doing?_ " he tried to plead with her, barely able to make his mouth work.

"You, too, Amara?" the scientist snarled. "You're one of these scum, _too?_ And here I had such high hopes for you."

"Don't kill him!" she begged, throwing her arms wide to present more of a target for the man. " _Please_ don't kill him."

"And just what do you think you can do to _stop me?_ "

 _Haran,_ not only was he going to die, but he was going to have to watch Zelina go before him, her own life wasted in a futile effort to save his.

"Go... _go_... _please go,_ " he tried to argue with her as the years crashed together in his addled brain, bringing him back to a time when he'd pleaded with another young woman to save herself...

 _Go...just go...I'm not worth this. Save yourself..._ _ **save yourself!**_

"I'm not going anywhere," he heard her voice through his confusion and agony. "I'm not going to let even one more clone die!"

"Then _you_ will die as well."

XxX

Some distant, fearful part of Alexsandr Kallus remained awake at the back of his mind as he cut through death troopers, moving like a ghost in the mist. That part remained awake and aware...aware of just how much he'd missed the simplicity of combat. The uncomplicated notion that you _had_ to end your enemy because his continued existence was a threat to yours.

The part of his mind would become larger when this was all over...would feel guilt again...but he knew he couldn't let that stand in his way right now. Right now, it was either them...or Arkalia.

He could get back to his own complexes later.

He moved easily in the direction Zelina indicated to them when she got back in touch, but it became harder to keep steady as he listened to her report what was happening.

"Kallus, I- where are you guys? I think he's going to kill Rex."

"We're aren't far off now. Just hold your position a _little_ longer," he tried to talk her down as he moved as swiftly as he could through the hazy corridors.

"I...Kallus, I can't- he's going to...I'm going in."

"Zel! _Don't!_ " he shouted over the link, but it had already gone dead.

 _Kriffing Mandalorian!_

"Kallus, what's going on?" he heard Wedge's voice demand from somewhere behind him.

"Your girlfriend is proving just how _much_ of a Mandalorian she is," he snarled, not even stopping to explain. They had to get to them and they had to get to them _now._

As he'd said, it didn't take them long to reach the lab in question. The time for him to slice through Archrem's particular brand of jamming was even less. But for all his speed, the situation beyond the doors was just as dire as he'd feared.

Zelina was standing between Archrem and Rex, Rex strapped to a surgical table and Archrem standing there with some kind of saw in hand. All the while, Arkalia slept against the young medic's chest, innocent and unknowing.

The Mandalorian attempted to make a grab for the saw when the scientist's eyes flicked back toward him, but Archrem had spent a little too much time avoiding being bitten by angry Lasat. His reflexes were just a touch quicker than hers and he had her pinned against his side in less than a heartbeat, the buzzing saw held just above her throat.

"Drop your weapons!" he ordered even as Jidu forced the doors closed once more to prevent more gas coming through. "Drop them or I'll kill them _both!_ "

"You won't," Kallus said calmly as he dropped to one knee, setting the bo-rifle on the floor, though he didn't immediately lift his hand from it. "You aren't going to kill the prize you struggled so long for," he pointed out, though the words on his tongue made him feel almost as nauseous as the gas had.

"Normally, you would be right, Alexsandr. But in this case, I no longer need the child. I don't particularly _want_ to dispose of her, but I can continue my work with the material I already have. Are you going to take that chance? Blasters on the floor. _Now!_ "

"You heard the man," Kallus said softly to the other members of his team, slowly lifting his hand from his weapon. But as he listened to the other three slowly set down their blasters, his attention also focused itself on Zelina.

He didn't allow his eyes to move as he tracked her motions, lest he give her away, but just at the corner of his vision, he could see her reaching with the hand that wasn't pinned to Archrem's side. Reaching...reaching...toward her belt...to a line of syringes she had strapped there.

Good girl. If he could just keep Archrem talking a moment longer...

"You know, it's a good look for you, _traitor_. On your knees before me. A good way for you to _die_ , I think."

"There are worse ways to die...than fighting to save what you love," he said quietly, sincerely, keeping his gaze fixed on the mad scientist's all the while. "It's certainly better than dying trapped inside an Imperial husk."

"Well, I suppose you have your convictions. I hope that's a comfort to you when- _AAGH!_ "

Archrem's taunting was cut off by an agonized scream when Zelina jabbed one of her syringes into his leg, emptying its contents into his system. Unfortunately, the sudden move didn't allow her to pull back from him in time, and the saw sliced a shallow but jagged line down the right side of her face, just shy of her ear.

Kallus felt more than heard her scream as she collapsed into his arms, the sound echoing down to the marrow of his bones. He could see the flow of fresh blood down her side, could see several droplets of it spattered atop Arkalia's head. As Jidu and Cassian rushed by him, both their regained weapons now trained on the scientist, Kallus tried to hold Zelina steady, keeping her from moving too much.

"Zelina!" Wedge cried out, falling to his knees beside them, reaching to remove the Mandalorian helmet from his head.

"Don't," Zelina warned him, reaching across to lay her hand over his. Though she trembled with obvious pain and shock, she still tried to insist, "It's not bad. But you can't take that off yet. We don't know how much of the ziridox got in."

"Just don't move," Kallus tried to scold her. "You spend all your time taking care of us. Let _us_ take care of _you_ for once."

The young medic surely might've had more to say, except that she was interrupted by yet another arrival. The door opened to reveal Ezra, Zeb, and Kanan, all three with breath masks and all three combat ready.

When Zeb saw him cradling Zelina and Arkalia in his arms, he immediately moved in on the downed scientist, who lay writhing on the floor in agony beneath the trained sights of Cassian and Jidu's blasters. While the two Jedi moved in to help Rex, to unbind him and get a breath mask secured over his nose and mouth, Zeb held the Imperial scientist aloft, his delicate human head gripped tightly in a single massive paw.

"D'you know how easy I could crush your head, Archrem?" the Lasat asked him. "Be _real_ simple. Like crushin' a ripe miru fruit between my fingers."

"Please...please..." Archrem begged, fingers scrabbling ineffectually against Zeb's arm, his body trembling with the effects of whatever chemical Zelina had injected him with. "Oh, stars...oh, please..."

"You're gonna beg for mercy from a _Lasat?_ " he snarled, slamming the human against the recently vacated surgical table. "That's rich. How many of _my people_ have you shown mercy to since Lasan fell?"

"Please... _please_..." was all the man could seem to whimper.

Zeb shook his head, features twisting in disgust and anger. "If I could have my way, I'd leave you here to breathe deep for the rest a' your miserable life. Y'know, the ten minutes of it you have left. _That's_ what you deserve for what you've done to my people, to me, to my little girl. But if I don't finish this now, there's always the chance you'll live to bring harm to more Lasat. I'm not gonna let that happen. This ends _now_."

With that, the former guardsman began to _squeeze_ , bringing all of the strength that was in him to bear on Garst Archrem's head. The human struggled, beginning to scream, but he was helpless in his former victim's grip. And even though Kallus wanted Archrem to suffer just as much as Zeb did, to be punished for violating his mate and taking their daughter away from them, he still had to look away just before it happened – the final, fatal _crunch_ of the scientist's skull in Zeb's fist.

The sound echoed hauntingly in the black of his mind, reverberant within his memory. Even though he knew it had to be done, had _wanted_ it to be done, the very thought of dying in such a way carried him back to memories he wanted no part of.

Not today.

" _Ril san orra vasharyl,_ " Zeb said in a cutting, quiet voice as he allowed Archrem's body to drop unceremoniously to the floor. " _Tefsa elysh._ "

"What is this place?" Wedge was the one to finally ask, looking around.

"Don't know," Zelina answered from where she still lay in the ex-Imperial's arms, aware that she might've been the only one who could've hoped to give a proper answer. "I never- got clearance for this area."

" _Vod'e_ ," Rex supplied mournfully, his voice tinged with the faintest of cries. "They're clones...my _brothers_... _ner vod'e_."

Even with both Kanan and Ezra helping him, the old captain couldn't stand on his own. Both Jedi were holding him up, keeping him from collapsing outright.

"But...why would Zaniva be so keen to study cloning?" Jidu wondered out loud as she approached one of the computer terminals, slicing into it without much difficulty. "They didn't have much when I was infiltrating the central compound on Salear."

"Archrem said...that he'd got what he needed from Lia," Kallus said slowly, suspicion beginning to form in his gut, fear making his tongue heavy in his mouth. If he gave voice to it...if they had really done such a thing...

"Well, if it's anything we...it...I...oh...oh, _no._ "

The young spy's fingers falling still was more telling than her voice gradually going silent. As her hands fell away from the terminal, she stared at the display in quiet horror for several long, painful moments.

" _What?_ " Ezra finally demanded. "What is it?"

At first, Jidu didn't speak. She just drifted away from the terminal and over toward a bank of canisters that was situated amongst the many containers filled with...clone matter. Kallus imagined they had all at first assumed these particular containers were no different, but when he saw the look of heartbreak on Jidu Ailytè's face as she reached out to touch the plexiglass surface of one, he knew only too well that wasn't the case.

"It's _her_ ," the Jedhan finally answered. "They...this is...Archrem _cloned_ her. That's what these are. Cloned embryos."

No one spoke for several moments following the horrific revelation, and that silence was so thick as to be suffocating. The one to finally speak into it was Wedge, glancing between the small bank and the little Lasat curled up against Zelina's chest.

"What was he going to do? Make an army of just her?"

"Not like- it hasn't been done before," Rex said bitterly, and the look on his face was so torn, so twisted with misery and despair and anguish, Kallus knew none of them would ever be able to truly comprehend it.

"So what do we do?" Cassian finally asked, looking around at all of them. "Keep to the plan? Destroy this lab, too?"

Kallus felt something harrowing flickering in his heart at that. He knew what the plan was, but...this was different. Even in such a base form as this...could he bring himself to destroy something that was even the vaguest image of Arkalia? Could they even be called living? In that moment, the ex-Imperial had little doubt that every single one of them wrestled with the question. He didn't know whether to be surprised by it or not, but Zeb was the one to ultimately speak.

"When I wasn't much more'n a kid...I swore an oath. An oath to the Blood, to protect the royal family and everything they stood for. Whether or not this counts as royal blood, it _can't_ be what my ancestors had in mind. So while my oath stands, Project Ash Warrior _will not_ stand. Not in any form," he said, and as he spoke, he reconfigured his bo-rifle to staff mode, igniting it once he'd finished. And as he watched him, Alexsandr Kallus knew with perfect certainty that _this_ was the Lasat the people kept in bondage on Manaan had spoken of in reverent tones, the brave guardian who had stood against impossible odds as the world was coming to an end around him. Zeb didn't often allow the colors of his command to show through, keeping them hidden beneath the shame of his perceived failure. But they were here now, on full display in the fire of his eyes, in the strength of his bearing and the lightning of his weapon. In this moment, Garazeb Orrelios was the source that legends sprang from, and Alex was in awe of this near divine being who had chosen to love _him_ of all people.

What could he do but fall deeper still in love?

"Wait," Zelina started to protest weakly. "Before you destroy it- copy the data. We might need to know what they've done."

"All right," Zeb conceded. "But be quick about it."

Jidu wasted no time. But while she worked, Alex began to notice a tiny whimper from between him and Zelina. Looking down, he saw Lia's ears beginning to twitch as she stirred from her drugged sleep. Reaching down tentatively, he attempted to stroke the top of her head.

The kit cried out when contact was made, shrinking impossibly small against Zelina's breast – the only positive contact she'd had in over a month.

"Oh...my dear- dear heart," he whispered in quiet heartbreak, not wanting to cause her any further distress.

"They hurt her," he heard Zeb's voice at his side as he came to kneel beside them, his bo-rifle still crackling in one hand as he reached the other down to the kit.

He didn't actually touch her; simply held his hand next to her tiny head, allowing her to pick up on what was hopefully a familiar scent.

And slowly, oh, so slowly, Arkalia began to shift her head toward those large fingers.

"Here now, Kali," his husband said softly. "It's us. It's your _dan-dans_."

"You know us...don't you?" he whispered, moving his own hand in tentatively beside Zeb's, wanting to help, but fearful of overwhelming her.

For several moments, Arkalia rubbed her little head against Zeb's hand, breathing in his scent, mingling hers with it. Then she moved her head over to _his_ hand, repeating the process, retrieving what must've seemed to her to be an ancient memory. Then, slowly unfurling from her crouched, clinging position, she lifted her head up from Zelina's chest to look up at them.

" _Dan-Dan?_ " she cooed quietly, her precious features twisted by a sad, but hopeful smile. The small laugh Alex gave in return was pained, but also relieved.

"That's right, _amsala'ka_ ," he said, feeling several tears slip down his face as he gently lifted her into his arms, allowing Wedge to move in to help Zelina sit up. Despite the danger they were all still in, something in his chest eased as he held their darling girl tightly in his arms once more. The tears just flowed faster as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head. Then Zeb was there, leaning down to nuzzle his forehead against hers.

" _An sylf sanat lira zera,_ " he told her, and Alex hoped that it was true.

"All right," Jidu called back to them. "We're all copied up and the system's been erased. You can do your thing."

Lifting his head from Lia's, Zeb leaned over to give _him_ a kiss before standing, picking up Alex's own bo-rifle in the process and reconfiguring it to staff mode. Then, rather than shifting his own back to rifle mode, he began an almost systematic process of moving through the room, destroying every piece of equipment he could get at with the righteous fury of _both_ weapons. Before long, Ezra was joining in, calling on his powers to help destroy things Zeb couldn't immediately reach. Then Jidu and Cassian were assisting, firing at whatever they could. Even Rex joined in, slipping the blaster from Kanan's belt to take clumsy aim at the bank of ill-gotten embryos while the Jedi continued to hold him up.

Before long, the space was nothing but a molten ruin.

"All right," Kanan finally said, clearly relieved when Ezra moved back to help him with Rex again. "That's taken care of. We should probably be getting out of here."

"Should we be expecting any back up for the troopers we fought before?" Cassian asked.

The knight shook his head, offering up a somewhat glib smile in response. "Sabine, Chopper, and Jorrah had things pretty well in hand when I left."

"All right. Then let's go home," Alex said quietly, his attention all for the little girl in his arms. It was such an unfamiliar notion...the idea of home. Even before he'd become a cog in the Imperial war machine, home had been a strange and foreign idea in his life, the closest he'd ever had the love from his mother.

But now, with Zeb and Lia, with the other Spectres, he couldn't help but think he just might've found it.

XxX

It was night when they touched down on Yavin IV. As the others were scattering to make reports and get food and medical attention and sex and other such sundries, Kallus managed to catch Cassian's attention on his way out of the _Ghost_.

"So," he called to the younger man, still mindful of the sleeping kit in his arms, "now we've reached the end of our apparent association, might I be so bold as to ask what your opinion of me is?"

The young intelligence officer eyed him and Zeb neutrally for a moment before the smallest of smiles lifted the corner of his mouth.

"From my personal observations, I would say you are a very dangerous, very capable man, and were you still on the side of the Empire, that would prove detrimental to our cause. However," he continued, pausing for just a moment to look down at the baby in Kallus' arms, "I have also seen that you are a family man, and that you fight with all you are for the cause that you believe in. _That_ cannot be faked. So my report to General Draven will state that you are, for better or worse, an enemy of the Empire."

He couldn't help noticing Cassian's specific phrasing. An enemy of the Empire. Not a member of the Rebellion. And if Cassian's insight truly ran that deep, there was no way he could just let Draven have him. He would have to insist this one receive training as a Fulcrum agent. So few were truly suited to the task and Cassian Andor could be just as truly great. Better than he himself had been, even.

"Don't suppose that'd have anythin' to do with him savin' your neck, would it?" Zeb asked with a light chuckle as they all reached the bottom of the _Ghost's_ landing ramp.

"Not actually, no," Cassian said, moving a few steps further before turning to look back at them. "Though it would have been simple enough for him to let me die without a helmet, that revelation came before...when you told me to _think_. To question who my enemy was and was not. The New Order doesn't exactly encourage free thinking. I don't know that any tool of theirs even _has_ such a capacity. That was how I knew you were no longer one of theirs."

"Then perhaps I've done you some good," the ex-Imperial said with a tired smile. "Go and get some rest, Captain. I have little doubt there will be plenty to do come morning."

Cassian nodded once before turning and heading back to the temple.

"Well, guess he's not such a bad kid after all," Zeb said as he draped an arm around his shoulders, leaning his head against the top of his.

"No."

"So whatcha think? Food or sleep?"

Even Kallus wasn't certain what his answer was going to be when he opened his mouth to speak, but whatever it might have been was interrupted by the distant strains of a song – a song that he knew quite well.

 _Toki no mukou_

 _Kaze no machi he_

 _Nee tsureteitte_

 _Shiroi hana no yume kanaete_

It was Jidu. Looking in the direction of the song, he could see the young Jedhan cuddling close with Tsirhara on the nose of the Syren's newly acquired X-wing. As they clung tightly together, he could just make out that old tune he'd heard so many years ago on Malastare.

 _Floating beyond time_

 _There's a city made of wind_

 _Please, dear, take me there_

 _Where dreams draped in white flowers_

 _Come true_

"Huh," Zeb started in quiet amusement when he also picked up on the music. "Guess you're not the only one who knows the song."

"I suppose not," he returned with an easy, quiet laugh, the image of Alita and Klaidi dancing together moving across the surface of his thoughts, melancholy, but lovely, too.

"Guess there's a third option then," his mate continued, grinning with that same understated ease as he held a hand out to him.

"I- what?" Kallus asked, still laughing in quiet amazement as he looked up at him.

"I asked you once if you thought you could dance to it."

"And I gave you fair warning I'm not much of a dancer," he pointed out.

"But that you'd be willin' to try...with me," Zeb finished.

 _Holding anxious hands_

 _Calm me with a kiss and then_

 _Please, dear, guide me there_

 _Where love that was forgotten_

 _Can bloom_

"Well, you have me there," he conceded as he took the offered hand, allowing Zeb to pull him in close. Then, with Jidu singing softly in the background and Arkalia cradled between them, the pair began to sway together in the gentle darkness beneath the _Ghost_.

 _And, darling, in the afternoon_

 _We'll sleep in the sun_

 _And wake to a time when_

 _The hunting is done_

 _And then when I see you_

 _I'll know in my heart what I've won_

It wasn't anything particularly dignified or news worthy. _Neither_ of them was much of a dancer, after all. But there was just something about simply...being together like this. Something about holding each other, holding their little girl...something about not having to hide...and it all came out in a tender rush as they danced together like a pair of fools beneath the starlight.

 _How did I get here?_ Kallus asked himself, not for the first, nor did he imagine it would be the last time.

"I don't deserve you," he said softly as he laid his head against his husband's chest, breathing in the subtle differences in scent between the two Lasat.

"And I don't deserve you," Zeb fired back in a gentle rebuke. "How could I _ever_ deserve to have a family with the man I love and the daughter of the girl I failed to protect? Don't deserve...doesn't mean I'm not gonna try to be worthy...every day...for the rest of our lives. _La rokir rrazehan_."

" _An san ni Tinsana,_ " he returned without having to even think about it. The promise of their Bond...what they were and would always be to each other. " _L'ashkerrir an._ "

"And I love you. I love you both... _so_ much," Zeb said in a gruff voice, holding them both all the tighter. And while the night wore on and Jidu continued to sing, even long after she'd stopped, they continued on like that, just swaying together, tracing easy circles in the dust.

 _And, darling, in the afternoon_

 _We'll sleep in the sun_

 _And wake to a time when_

 _The hunting is done_

 _And then when I see you_

 _I'll know in my heart what I've won_

 _Please, dear, take me there_

XxX

(A/N) Phew, all righty. Finally got our darling girl back. :D I actually do have a few notes for you this time around aside from the usual translations. Chief is that before I launch into my final bit of story arc, I plan to use the next chapter as something of a time skip and a breather before I break some hearts one last time. So at that, I plan to make the next chapter pretty gosh darn fluffy. So I put the question to all of you. Anything in particular you'd like to see regarding the shenanigans of our dear space family on Yavin IV? I'll see what I can work in.

And then, of course, we have the typical round of translations.

 _Ze ze, ni ashkerra, ze ze. Ul or'sultir rokir_ \- Hush, my love, hush. He doesn't know

 _Ul na hargiri. Ul hargiri_ _ **an**_ \- He insults me. He insults you

 _Ul san tefsa sultad ka ul sana kalla sultat...nel_ _ **La**_ _lina sana_ \- He is only doing what he was ordered to do...as I once was

 _Sail La reisvir s'an tefsa li ke velkir lorinsir loa rakaln kerra'ul_ \- Then I guess you're the only one who can talk some sense into him

 _La sylf zeryln sultir ni ashynym_ \- I will certainly do my best

 _S'in klinas. S'in sultira kol. S'an torril kol_ _ **na**_ _mal. An or'san sav ulri mayka_ \- It's over. It's done with. You're here with me now. You aren't that man anymore

 _An san zai'ym ashyn na sir, ni ashkerra_ \- You are too good to me, my love

 _Ril san orra vasharyl. Tefsa elysh_ \- There is no forgiveness. Only death

Amsala'ka - Dear princess

 _An sylf sanat lira zera_ \- You'll be all right


End file.
